Updated: Donkey’s New 5-Minute Gig: “Master Interviewer”

reimagine donkey

Per Jess “The Caterwauler” Johnson:

Announcing our newest addition to further stack the lineup for The Garden of Eden presents – Community Rising. “Reimagining Community” a fireside chat with some revolutionary thinkers and artists of evolution to talk about the role community plays in an awakening world. We’ve got the founders of some of the leading platforms in technical, social and systemic innovation coming together to be interviewed by master interviewer Julia Allison. Are there any questions you’d like to put in the virtual suggestion box? See you Saturday!! — with Ryan Allis, Julia Allison and Daniel Schmachtenberger.

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Check out the promotional video – it’s hilarious! Unlike the above ad with Julia, everyone in the photos and at Jess’ aya goddess fest is white, white, white. Sorry, I can’t embed. https://www.facebook.com/events/789127797889940/permalink/793330347469685/

“Master Interviewer”?! Sweet Jesus, she barely ever let anyone get a word in edgewise during the purloined mic, fake NBC correspondent NYFW daze!

nyfw

Update: The new BrayBray WahWah – thanks, Brayella – just had the gall to post a video about white privilege. Do tell, Donkey!

Also, Daniel Schmachtenberger, the home-schooled organizer tagged by Jess alongside Julia and Ryan Allis, is in an open relationship with stripper/deranged narcissist/cam performer Roxanne DePalma, who performed a lurid “touch me” number at Jess’s prior San Diego aya fest. (Dan & Roxy are pictured in the lower right corner of the “reimagining communities” poster.) One can only imagine what the classy, poly Ms. DePalma will be performing during this Saturday’s festivities.

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120 COMMENTS

  1. Are they trying to claim that Julia will be talking with people of color? Because you know that’s not gonna work out.

    • If the footage from the previous Encinitas goddess fest that’s included in the video promo is any indicator, there won’t be any people of color at Donkey’s fireside chat.

      • Why on earth use people of color to promote an event when they know the reality is there will be zero?! These people who never read here obviously want us to shut up about their racism, white washing and appropriation of other cultures.

        Sorry woos, people of color in fauxtos (who didn’t even consent to have their images used to promote your wank fests) ≠ people of color in your events.

        • I kind of want to TinEye that upper-right photo and see what totally unrelated event it depicts, but I am all migraine. Maybe Brayella or ks or someone will oblige?

          • I think it’s a picture from one of the Hive events. You know, the “Harvard conference” that Julia spoke at (or something) and that is organised by Ryan Allis. He’s mentioned in the blurb.

          • Oh, good thought, Fameless! I guess that isn’t totally unrelated, but I doubt this foofaraw will have the same demographic as that one.

          • She really has latched on to Ryan Allis and the Camp Grounded people. How long will it take them to realize she is a big phony do-nothing?

  2. There’s a “cuddle zone.” Also, if you’re going to drink, do it “consciously.”

    Community rising is an epic convergence of social circles both locally and across the world for one day and night of fun. This event will be hosted at The Garden of Eden and will have other community homes represented in different areas throughout the property:

    The Garden of Eden Outdoor Stage (with live music by Chad Wilkins, Jess Magic and Krista Richards)

    The Skypad Speaker Area (speakers and workshops all evening)

    The EvoRoom Dancefloor (late night dance party and facilitated experiences throughout the evening)

    The Bouncing Buddha House CuddleZone

    The iTemple Healing Sanctuary (meditations, massage, experiential healing)

    Visionary Art Gallery by Aaron Pyne of Sacred Vision Designs

    We will have finger snacks available and Eve Encinitas will be on site selling food if you want something more substantial.

    The indoor and outdoor space are wonderful with sound and lighting in both, you may want to be outside late into the evening. We would suggest bringing a sweater or jacket if it gets cold.

    Alcohol will not be served at this event. If you would like to enjoy a glass of wine or a beer, or some craft cocktail concoction you are welcome to bring you own, however we enjoy healthy, high vibes, so if you choose to drink, please do so consciously.

    • “…if you choose to drink, please do so consciously.” As opposed to, you know, unconscious drinking.

    • Alcohol (fermented plants) is bad. Marijuana and ayahuasca (non-fermented plants that get you high as fuck) are sacred medicine.

    • God. What I would give to be the obnoxious drunk who made everyone uncomfortable at one of these events. Foster Brooks would be proud.

        • He’s such areg-damn dolt. Did you see Michele giving him the look? I bet she crushed his hand trying to get him to quit swaying & marching in place.

          • That look was priceless! I kept rewinding the goddamn video and laughing and laughing.

          • Remember the convoluted story behind the black eye, that he choked on a pretzel & passed out, then fell off the sofa? Pretty sure Laura didn’t hesitate to cold cock him that one time.

        • Maybe more uncomfortable than that; Dan Akroyd eating smoked salmon out of his Santa beard after the Xmas party for his trading firm. Like, really gnarly gross drunk.
          anyway. My point is…I can do that quite well and am willing to take one for the team. Just sent me $4900 to cover my expense (I’ll pay for my own liquor- I do have some dignify) and I’ll be the lone drunk that makes everyone feel weird. No, not the naked guy running around beating his genitals to a drum – he’s totes legit. And the girl that walks around topless with a sign saying she’s bringing the bush back with a big arrow pointed down? She’s totally wants to make the feminine aware of the power of the pubes. But me? Having a couple drinky drinks? Yeah….I’m going to embarrass the shit out of everyone.

    • Excited for donkey in the wild again and not just assorted woo roundups compelling as they are.
      Also, editor on aisle 3, “welcome to bring you own”

  3. “What do you think of the color pink?!” – Master Interviewer, Julia Allison, to Padma Lakshmi at NYFW

    • “What was your inspiration for this show?” – Master Interviewer Julia Allison to Nanette Lepore at NYFW.

      • I actually appreciated Nanette Lepore practical responses to the importance of fashion and how it works/doesn’t work financially. Her daughter is wayyyyy older than her years. Extremely mature. Spooky mature.

        Pretty certain Donk said “Thank you, Annette”

        • Ha! I just watched and she – loudly and clearly – said “Annette.” Clearest instance is at the very end.

          • She held a microphone and asked lame questions then, so clearly she is qualified to hold another microphone and ask lame questions now. It’s the only thing she is able to do.

    • “So you’re a soccer star, right?” – Master Interviewer Donkula to Thierry Henry

      I’ll never get over this. She has no idea how lucky she was that he didn’t punch her in the face.

        • Heh, yeah, that would have been an appropriate response too.

          This was so unbearably cringey. I think it was one of the first Donkey incidents that I watched in horror and that clued me in as to what we are dealing with here.

          I of course understand that for an average American, “soccer” is one giant no1curr, but I was under the impression that master interviewers tend to research the interviewees a little bit prior to the interview. Of course, this particular question probably WAS the result of her research, otherwise she would have just asked him about his opinion on the color pink straight away.

          Thierry Henry is France’s top goalscorer OF ALL TIMES. He’s won loads of real life awards, and LÉGION D’HONNEUR (something that, let me guess, Donk has never heard of) is among them. He has a STATUE in front of the Emirates Stadium in London. He’s also made loads of fuck you money (his ex-wife got 10 million British pounds in the divorce settlement) and appeared in international commercials for Gillette, Nike (one was directed by Terry Gilliam), Reebok, Pepsi, Puma and others of the same league. All of this can be learned in three minutes on the Google. And this random hayseed basically asks him to explain himself to her. Sorry for the tl; dr: I KANNOT!

          • Yeah, I’ve never heard of the dude (SORRY! I don’t watch American football either) but he sounds like kind of a big deal. He’s probably used to clueless interviewers though.

          • not to play down how terrible she is. I just think he’s probably had a lot of stupid questions come his way.

          • Oh sure. I’m not worried about the impact of that incident on Thierry Henry’s wellbeing (although hey! networking opportunity! Thierry, how can we help? guy is pretty hot if you ask me). The thing is, what kind of journalist comes up to Keith Richards and says: “So I hear you like to play the guitar, huh?” The answer is ZERO. I’ve worked as a journalist, half of my family spent their entire professional lives as journalists, I have met TONS of journalists including stupid and shitty ones, and I still have not met anyone who “interviewed” like that, with or without the braying. Only an asshole hick who has no idea what journalism and interviewing are about would do that.

          • *do that and then BRAG about it. I feel a vein in my temple getting ready to pop.

          • OK that makes a lot of sense, I had not considered it from that persepective! 🙂 I was starting from a basis of incompetence and you were starting from a basis of professionalism. Now I’m trying to think of an analogue in my own professional life… this would be like a statistician who is assigned to an oncology study and their first question is, “So people die from this stuff sometimes?”

          • That is exactly it, and perhaps even worse because a journalist’s performance is by its nature public to a certain degree, so it’s not just the people who assigned you the task / your co-workers who can marvel at your mastery. Onion-worthy stuff.

    • “What do you think of wearing tiaras?”

      “Uh, no. You stupid fuckface, I don’t even want to talk to you. Go away.”

    • Speaking of NYFW, didn’t she also ask Carolina Herrera something horrible once, something like “are you hoping these plastic bangles will become fashion? TEE HEE HAW!” or something similarly canklehausen-inducing??

  4. Snacks provided, no meal included for an event that runs 4pm – 2am? BYO “glass of wine”? (Really?) $55-65 for a ticket. Come on now.

    • Guests will be so blitzed on aya and recently-hitched Adele Juliet’s tits that they probably will forget about food, doncha think?

      • That must be it. There better be aya if this is what it sounds like, a house party with no real food or alcohol served and a $65 cover.

        • Mmm hmm. Girl could at least could at least be a sport and dump a couple of gallons of cheap vodka into a big garbage can full of jungle juice.. of course the red cups might cut into her profit budget a bit.

  5. What does this ridiculous donkey know about “living in community” or “epic community” or “epic tribal rising” or whatever the woos call it? What does she know about emotionally healthy interactions with other human beings?

    Until recently, she was living in a large, luxury apartment in San Francisco, paid for by her parents. She lived alone or with one other roommate. She rarely spent time there, as she was constantly distracting herself with pointless trips to “transformational festivals,” during which she illegally sub-sublet her apartment to a string of strangers… strangers that her established neighbors had to deal with. She didn’t get involved in the SF community at all.

    Before that, she lived in a large, luxury apartment in a different city, paid for by her parents or a silly, pointless, trashy reality show. She lived with one other roommate and filled her time with pointless trips to silly dirt festivals, during which she’d rent her bed to strangers. She built zero community this way.

    Before that: same thing, different city. Before THAT: same thing, different city.

    Sometimes, she goes glamping in an RV and eats pre-paid meals prepared by other people. She calls this “tribal living” and believes this to be authentic, down-to-earth, and real.

    Meanwhile, her parents have lived in the same town for years, joined by her brother and sister-in-law and baby nephew; yet this is somehow an inferior way of living for A Donkey, and she belittles this soulless, disconnected, dysfunctional way of living (the suburbs are evil!!! the nuclear family is wrong!!!) every chance she gets.

    • This beautiful rant deserves to be FAXed to Peter Baugher’s law offices. Not that I’m suggesting anyone do that, of course!

    • Whatever happened with the legal action against her in SF?

      If you do a case search for “Baugher, Julia” on the San Francisco Superior Court’s website you get a return, but there aren’t any documents or docket info available.

      Can you imagine the joys of a Donkey Deposition?

    • “She didn’t get involved in the SF community at all.”

      not true. the groundskeepers at the palace of fine arts were on a first name basis. discussions often revolved around cleaning up dog poop.

  6. So she’s back to “journalist” now? Passing herself off like she’s Barbara gregdamned Walters or something?

    This is going to be delightful. Besides the fact that she is POISON on camera, this is the type of setting where her psychosis really comes out. I’m pretty excited about this one.

    • Braybray Wahhwahh is the new Baba Wawa.

      I share your excitement — which onesie do you suppose she’ll don?

      • Ooooh, what a dilemma! Should she wear a tight, gaping, polyester fit-n-flare teen prom dress with hideous platform shoes; or a theriouth bidness lady polyester pantsuit with flared trousers and an MIT tote bag; or a onesie with velcro sneakers and rainbow nail polish; or polyester fake hippie muumuu with “ethnic” jewelry and plastic flowers in her plastic hair?

        I guess she’ll need to figure out which persona she’ll be using that day.

  7. 🙁 Cue truck truther Elija Ray …

    (hoping no basement dwellers are in harm’s way over there)

    • Also not even representative of her regular velcro-sneakered, tacky holiday-attired persona.

      Donkey will be one of these old ladies with glitter and care bears all over her oversized sweatshirt at the assisted living center.

  8. She has re-packaged herself as a “Master Interviewer.” Will this title replace “Author” at “Book”?

  9. ” revolutionary thinkers and artists of evolution ”

    Choking on my gags. That toilet picture above is just really sad. I don’t know who these people are, but they are doing decadence terribly wrong.

    • what IS it with these people and their toilet sexyface shots? Beyond tacky.

      • Fucking unbelievable. No wonder the self-proclaimed “neat freak” Donk who would never post pictures of nasty grime-adorned shoes, put dog’s butt on clothes described as “in perfect condition” or clean her face with saliva hangs out with these perfectly sanitary and non-gross revolutionaries.

    • At least they didn’t turn the bathroom into their recording studio.

  10. A bunch of the woos in the bottom photo were on a tv show called “Polyamory: Married and Dating.” I feel like I should double-check the credits now to see if any of Julia’s wooville people were involved in that…

  11. Donkey’s take on world events? Post an article about how Syrian brides are getting married alone in the absence of their mates who have fled. Comment: “Wow.”

    • Sparkle Pony must have a Google alert for weddings. I so can’t wait for her to get married only to realize that marriage is hard work, which she is allergic to, and nobody is going to cater to her every whim.

    • Donkey’s commentary, analysis, is unmatched in the world of journalism! If it’s not “Wow.” it’s one sentence expressing alleged outrage. I take comfort in knowing that most of the links she posts get four or five likes at the most.

  12. She’s scheming to marry Jack McCain even though he fled halfway across the world and married someone way better. The article is giving her ideas.

  13. A round of tetanus shots for the basement dwellers!

    They can’t just say “hey you have an open relationship and can own it? Come fuck other people! Like a key party but with cultural appropriation!”

  14. Polyamory just seems really exhausting to me. Not all the sex, all the talking about it. I have friends who I suppose are polyamourous, but they are not banging the poly drum at all hours of the fucking night like these dicks. They’re just sleeping around and not feeling guilty about it.

    Can you just take a picture like normal people without trying to do a sexy bra under vest look or exposing your newt-like chest? That would be a good postcard if you are trying to appear not to be a weirdo. Can you just have sex with other people and not talk about it all the fucking time? I feel like these people are covering up for being inherently boring and/or emotionally damaged.

  15. She invited me to the Dominican Republic in 2007. There was a small film festival going on at the resort and she’d persuaded the organizers to cover the flight and/or the room. At this time she was regularly on TV and if you Googled her seemed like a relatively sane up-and-coming NYC media person. So access to interesting events was a normal thing.

    On one of the nights, she asked me to join her at the film featival’s “red carpet” area and to bring my camera. She said I’d need to film her interviewing this one guy (who I presumed was the event organizer). I explained to her that my Canon PowerShot, though adequate for Beachtime Disney Princess Lip Dubs, wasn’t really a “red carpet interview” camera, especially because it lacked an external microphone jack. She said it didn’t matter. “But the footage will be unusable!” … Still didn’t matter.

    She dragged me up there and we filmed her asking basic superficial questions to this important guy for 5 minutes. I couldn’t even hear their conversation over the ambient noise, so the pinhole mic in my digital point-and-shoot certainly couldn’t, either. I’m not sure I even bothered hitting record.

    I’m not the scammer type, and I found the whole act disgusting and confusing. I felt super dirty, and the fact that she was completely OK with it was mystifying. She basically lied her way into a vacation, on several levels:

    1) I am a legit media person and my involvement in your fest will help it
    2) I am shooting a usable interview right now
    3) My interest in your fest during this interview is genuine

    A triple lie!!

    To this day, I’ve never met someone more willing to just openly scam. In her mind, it seems, any behavior is justified if it advances her personal cause (which itself is never justified). That’s easy to grasp from outside but witnessing it from inside her private sphere was just terrifying. Made me understand where truly evil acts could come from. The sort of mind that could justify any behavior and never felt remorse, only feigned it, only when caught.

    • Confirming what we long suspected. Thanks for sharing, I hope you’ll tell us more.

        • !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • This is just crazy, but what I would expect of Julia. I just remembered her writing about that vacation, and how she bitched (lied) about how she had paid for the Dominican Republic vacation:

      ” I took him on an ALL EXPENSES PAID vacation to the Dominican Republic – and I had to pay for the cabs to and from because HE DIDN’T HAVE MONEY. What did I get in return? Maybe a vague thank you.”

      https://web.archive.org/web/20071224020541/http://jakobandjulia.com/page/2

      So she scammed a vacation, and then lied to everyone trying to make you look bad. You must be thankful every day of your life you got away from her and dodged that bullet.

      • I always assumed when she said ALL EXPENSES PAID vacation, that SHE had actually paid all the expenses. Wow, Donkey — you scammed a free vacation and allowed him to come along as a +1. How generous.

        • That ship has sailed and why she most likely had muck stalls at the Sea Org in order to attend.

    • Ugh, she is the worst and this is unsurprising (yet awful for you to experience). Hope all is well and thank you so much for Standards.

    • To hold up the grifting end 0f a junket or c/o you don’t have to be interested, you just have to deliver — see Volvo / Sweden

      • Wish Pancakes would spill about her claim that he asked her to return home from Sweden early because he missed her. We know she dumped Lilly there for him to care for while she was gone. The call could have been “Come home and get your damned dog out of here, she is shitting all over my mother’s condo.”

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