Mrs. Roper Marries Herself Again

Our very own Mrs. Roper wore her smelly, tattered pink housecoat to many a special event during the last few years, including Camp Grounded 2015, where she later donned white and wowed the crowd with a speech about marrying herself.

Look who else showed up for a digital detox! It’s punchable Sgt. Bearper, whose wife was probably getting felt up by Ali Shanti somewhere. Did you remember to send Bear that check for fine china to be purchased in Japan, or will you be letting him and Kitty stay in your home all summer?

If I ever thought about attending one of Donkey’s aya fests as a lark, these fauxtos certainly put the kibosh on that:

Greg only knows what went down at Camp Grounded 2016.


      • So sorry, so fat, I realize now that this was from Camp Grounded LAST year, so this guy is likely not a new post-ILYRAIN flame. I now see. I am drank.

        • We found these 2015 albums while looking for this year’s pictures, which are not posted yet.

  1. Those camp grounded pictures look like stills from a horror movie to me. As I clicked through I kept waiting for the next set to be filled with blood and gore as the bride in white hacks through the unsuspecting crowd with a machete.

    • Yep, & while everyone is in neo-grunge festival wear that they picked up at the local Good Will, Donk is in a white wedding dress. I repeat, in a wedding dress, as they sit around the fire & sing kumbaya. Sitting on the ground, in a wedding dress. If it didn’t smell before, it will now & good luck getting the soot & smoke smell out. Now I know why serial killers target kids at camps in the woods, they’re insufferable. F’ing A, she has got to be miserable. I’ve never used this term before, but it is so apt, as many have remarked around here, what a shit show.

      • I mean virtually everyone in those pics looks like theyr camping- which they are! Then this dumb ass lumbers in with a full length muppet coat. I mean, really.

      • Just keeping that primal Donkey imperative alive: “I like it when people look at me all dressed up.”

      • It’s feeding her disease. She knows everyone will show up wearing camp-appropriate clothing so she packs ridiculous costumes that will make her stand out.

        I feel sorry for the rest of the campers; I’d want my money back if an obnoxious Donkey showed up and ruined my camp experience.

        • In her defense (words I never thought I would say), there are other people there in kigas, so she isn’t quite as sore-thumby as she normally is. She definitely kicks it up a notch with accessories and obnoxiousness, and there is no defense for that wedding dress.

          I can say that it is a comforting that as far as we are from wannabe tech famewhore Donkey, we still can count on her to dress like a fucking idiot so we all can laugh.

          • Oh, but there is no excuse for those platform sneakers she has in multiple colors and always whips out at these things. Everyone else is wearing boots or tennies and then there is stump hoof plodding along in her frankenshoes.

          • Those are the least bothersome of the outfits (although I strongly suspect she brought a few from her collection to share like she did with her “tutus” once upon a time). It’s everything all together, the stupid sneakers, the feather rainbow wings, the wedding gown, the pink bear bathrobe, the rainbow outfits.

            I remember a pic from a while back where she was wearing a rainbow colors bright! ensemble and she was trying so hard. LAUGHING SO HARD HAHAHAHA HAVING SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN ANYONE ELSE. That kind of thing. I can only imagine how exhausting it must be for her fellow campers to be subjected to that for a few days.

  2. There aren’t many Donk pics at all in any of the Camp Grounded albums. It seemed fishy at first.

    But, oh wait, unicorn onesie alert!

    Honestly, I think all this Camp Grounded stuff is kind of cute on a macro level…dorky, average-looking people with low-level Silicon Valley jobs who seem to be having genuine fun and letting their freak flags fly. But you KNOW Donk is in it for the scheming / trying to land more “clients” / etc.

    • I think it’s for fucking retards. Oops, I’m going to get in trouble for that! Let the hand wringing and crying commence.

      Thanks for the onesie snaps. I’ll add a couple to the post.

        • No shit. You know what I do as a California resident when I need to unplug? I get in a car and go hiking in someplace with no service (not hard to find in NorCal). For free (minus the cost of gas and park entry). It’s not that hard.

    • Check out photo link three from the top. Yes, ladies & gentlemen, she’s wearing ribbons in her hair like an eight year old Nelly Olsen. Has anyone around here spoken to Donk in the last year or two? Is she really learning impaired & visibly off? Every photo of her in the recent past says it’s time to put her in a home.

  3. The pics of SK3B fondling the bride were VERY disturbing, like 10 lbs of nachos disturbing.

    • Even more disturbing than the photos of Sgt. Pepper displaying his pubic hair. More aya, Bearsie?

  4. You know, I could *almost* forgive attendance at this Peter Pan Syndrome Summit if Donkey was like, a genuinely busy, hardworking individual who had actual (read: not self-imposed) stress in her life and really needed to take extreme measures to unwind. I mean, it’s not at all my cup of tea, but whatever. Maybe some of these people really earned their time there and are going back to productive lives that don’t center around their own hedonism.

    What’s so galling about Donkey’s attendance is that her whole fucking life is a never ending vacation, funded by other people’s money, and punctuated by mental breakdowns caused by untreated personality disorders. This event is billed as some kind of escapist weekend vacation, but for Donkey, it’s just another float in the parade of meaningless self-indulgence that is her life.

    Tl;dr – get a goddamn job, Julia.

    • Exactly. I bet most of these people are hardworking individuals who are just looking to unwind and get silly, maybe with some shrooms. Not Donkey.

    • Sure. Definitely not my cup of tea but I don’t judge the leisure activities (within reason; see big game hunting) of functional adults who spend most of their time working and contributing to society. But our Julesie spends all her time putting on costumes – cutesy costumes, sluttoween business costumes, holiday kinderwhore costumes, and new-personality costumes – and keeping her head on a swivel for the next person to latch onto or climb over. All her time is spent yelling lookatme takeanotherpicture lookhowcuteilook. And then she takes a well-earned vacation to go to the places where that behavior is validated. Must be an emotional roller coaster for her. Her whole vacation is spent wildly vacillating between feeling validated for acting like an overgrown contestant on toddlers & tiars, and sinking into disappointment when she does not stand out as special.

      Hahaha you guys remember when Julia Allison Baugher was invited to something like a “Tech Prom” many years ago and told organizers she would only show up if they promised she would win Homecoming Queen? That from a person who loves PROM more than anyone teehee.

  5. We all need to live in communal spaces to save resources … but also have vacation homes. OK, then.

    • It’s what happens when you purchase an ill-fitting Made In China wedding dress from alibaba and are too vain to SIZE UP

      • This is why I remain convinced that Julia Allison’s industrial-sized calves are implants — no way she’s the 99.9% blob she is w/ calves isolated & toned to comparable rock-hard density of those equine on Stone Mountain.

        • idk, I think it’s from her clomping around in hooker heels for over a decade. Aided by early years of ballet class, where you know the only practice Donk did was the easy stuff that she thought made her look like a pretty ballerina, like demi-pliés, which built up the already unfortunate calves. Aaaand finally the wonky legs: the way her leg turns out at a weird angle makes me think there is something wrong and is part of the reason the parental$ gave her a pass on her shorty behaviour.
          Then again, who knows? She’s obviously not averse to getting work done and we all know her idea of what looks good is certainly not ours!

    • What I find most fascinating about that fauxto is that everyone in that series of fauxtos seems to be laughing, like doing that stuff “ironically” or for fun. Our Burra? Oh no… she is taking this shit super seriously! This IS her wedding (whatever the event was) and damn if she will laugh as if she wasn’t doing this shit for real. It’s truly incredible.

      • I can just envision her during her talk doing that thing where she swallows hard before saying something and then looks up before making a therioth obthervation using hand gestures for emphasis.

    • Ruining everything she touches.

      Who DOES that?

      Bringing PROMMMM!! to hippy fest? TOTAL BONE KILLER.


  6. That would absolutely positively be the worse weekend ever for me. I just couldn’t do it. I’m not a grumpy puss either; it just looks lame. Even if copious amounts of drugs were involved I just couldn’t do Camp Grounded. No go.

      • a millennial at my office was droning on about the twee winsomeness of taking an x-country driving trip USING A MAP AND A COMPASS LIKE IN OLDEN TIMES

        i bit my tongue and refrained from unleashing a string of profanities mixed with astonishment; i just backed away slowly

      • I don’t understand what is so special about going camping with no cell service. Go to Gulala or Big Sur or 70% of camping areas in Northern California. Fuck, even Lake Berryessa. It’s not that difficult.

    • This. It is like a comic con and a furry convention rolled into one. The dork factor would be off the charts.

  7. I fear she’s had another thing that rhymes with rose bob. If she doesn’t stop, she’s going to be at risk for the terrifying Empty Nose Syndrome, which is terrifying for real.

  8. Honestly, how many of us who have been following the donkey show since the Edgy Sex Columnist Socialite days, the Wired Cover Girl OMGTECHFOUNDER days, or the Future Mrs. McCain days would’ve seen it coming that she would be dancing around in a unicorn onesie with the Rainbow Gathering in Humboldt County?

    • The only way I could have imagined this is if some rich guy she was stalking was into it. Like if she met Bear Kittay when she was working for Time Out or something. Maybe not even that–her old persona was so strongly Sex and the City. It’s getting hard to remember the good old days…

    • NOT I. But it does make sense, doesn’t it? She was always an exhibitionist; always obsessed with costumes, and with being validated for doing and being nothing at all. She has no moral or philosophical or religious center, so anything will do in that regard, as long as she’s getting attention. The woos provide at every level: cheap costumes, cheap philosophy, racial and economic homogeneity, a commitment to the grift, a communal exaltation of surface and shallowness.

      The real question, I think, is what iteration she chooses in response to aging and severely limited options. I disagree with some RBDers (to whom I’m self-married) who believe she’ll become an evangelical Christian. I’ve spent most of my life in that world, and there’s nothing for her there. She doesn’t have the work ethic of a prosperity gospel wife, for instance, even if she’s drawn to lavender wigs. I’ve said it many times over the years and am saying it again: she needs to marry rich and old and have a baby or two fast. RICH AND OLD, JULIE. I can’t repeat it enough. There are costumes to be had in any lifestyle! They don’t have to be condom dresses or onesies!

      • She takes on the image of the character without any of the character of the character.

        • Winchester, I love this comment.

          Also, in reply to Handbag, I don’t think she could even manage to marry rich and old, unless he was really,really old and only Pettifogger rich. Look at Papa Chevalier; Jena couldn’t lock that down (not saying she’s anything wonderful) and being rich means there are any number of younger and prettier things throwing themselves at you. The guy would have to be ancient, hard of hearing, bad vision and not pleasant to look at or talk with…and even then they could pull a still hot Anna Nicole Smith type. It would be hilarious to watch though.

          I’m with the cats who think evangelical/prosperity Go$pel is her next go-to, but I think she still has some mileage to wring out from the woo crowd.

          • Regrettably, I know she would do just fine with rich and old, based on personal experience. The way it works is you get really enormous implants, like much bigger than any ethical doctor would agree to give you. You peruse the obituaries for rich old women who were still married to their original husbands at the time of their passing, then you hit the husband hard and right away. And I do mean right away. One grieving widower I know lost his wife in July and was able to bring his new bride to their summer home to enjoy the lovely August weather.

            My own relative couldn’t understand why no one else embraced his much younger (but not as young as Julia) fiancé a couple of weeks after he lost his wife. She is such FUN! and she wears such TIGHT N’ TRANSPARENT clothing! It is sad really .

          • Morroccanwear, that sounds truly awful. I had a relative who drove interstate to pick up his new girlfriend, the former best friend of his deceased wife,the very day after the funeral. Everyone was horrified , shocked and deeply hurt. Some of his kids still don’t speak to him.

            You’re right, I hadn’t remembered that. They just stick their talons in before the body is even lukewarm. I know the widower is hurting but it makes it look like the deceased wife meant nothing to them and all they want is a new replacement to wash, clean and service them. Depressing.

          • The guy doesn’t even have to be rich, either. People are ready to pounce. I know a guy in his late 40s who lost his wife to cancer in December. They have a young daughter. The wife did everything, and as she got progressively sicker, he was crowdsourcing for help and posting pictures of her on her sickbed, in the hospital…it was almost exploitive. He gushed over and over how much he loved her, how wonderful she was and how sad they all were to be losing her. Not a month after she died he met an old flame and wham, they moved in to a new home together and all of a sudden they were posting pics as if they were already a family. I sense he needed someone to cater to him and the child. I just found it bizarre, it is as if women are interchangeable to some men. I would really wonder about any guy who would get so seriously involved with someone else that fast. I know it is not great to judge people like that, everyone grieves differently, but I just can’t imagine how anyone could do this and have it work out.

    • I’ve never seen any of it coming, I’ve always been surprised. I thought it was all done forever and then she was dating Pancakes. And then when that was done I thought man, what is left. And then Reality Show I mean Documentary Series. And then BOOK.

      Handbag is so right though. It all makes sense. Trying to force her way into the cool tech bro scene -> Burning Man -> All the woos down in wooville.

      I guess though I figured she would have eventually had Jordan’s life. OMGMarried and talking about what a hard worker she is, embarking on countless vanity photo shoots and flying around all the time for meetings.


      • It is so statistically improbable that none of the TMI Weakly girls have been married by now. I mean, if you presented a sociologist with three 25-year-old physically healthy, upper-middle-class, heterosexual women who frequently declared their desire to get married and said “None of these chicks will be married by age 35,” that sociologist would laugh in your face. And yet, Donkey, Pointy, and MMBH have bucked the odds.

        • Also, Jordumb has written two shitty books, delivered them on time, and gotten a contract for a third. Compared to Donkey, she’s Joyce Carol Motherfucking Oates.

          • Joyce Carol Motherfucking Oates made me snortcackle involuntarily. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. So thanks for that.

  9. Looks to me like actual people got actually married so Our Miss Julia needed to don her gown so they didn’t hog all the attention.

  10. Either that or the “after-market work” is aging horribly. Maybe that’s why people seem to be unable to stop getting plastic surgery; it looks OK for a while but starts getting weird and distorted looking after a couple of years? I have no idea, but plastic surgery always looks bad/strange to me.

    • i always wonder about fillers — do they stretch the skin so that once they are absorbed the skin just hangs, and the person needs 3x as much next time?

      • I think they get absorbed into the skin? (Not sure…)

        I also find it ironic that people who are all “eco, organic, no processed food, healthy healthy healthy!” get breast implants because aren’t you putting a giant lump of plastic into your body forever? (Or maybe that’s just me…)

  11. I am embarrassed for her, since she knows not to be. Also, learned something new yesterday, for all of you with JIML’s, if you yawn around a sociopath, they don’t yawn. They’re immune to the contagious yarn effect. Cue off-the-charts yawns posted from various woo-crew.

    • Yeah, apparently yawns are contagious because it’s your body’s almost-reflexive urge to empathize with those you love. Crazy!

      • I was floored when my sister told me about this phenomenon last night. How did I not know this during my startup days? I would have yawned and hit record at every meeting.
        All goes back to what The Handbag of Wisdom dropped about how they try and appear human. Can’t fake a yawn (although I do suspect they’ll try…very…very hard now).

        • I yawned just reading OP.
          Then my psycho cat yawned, so I dunno …

      • my god they should be embarrassed I am embarrassed just looking at them, they look ridiculous.

        Incredibly offensive and completely entiteld and self rightous to have money and beg for help like a mortage are they serious? Obviously they deserve each other and its very appreent this group of people sleep and pass each other along. Yikes , and eew

  12. That Bear guy comes from money and yet of course wants some help with his mortgage. All these assholes are trustifarians.

  13. I’m just disturbed at how all these weirdos really just want to be children again. Footie pajamas, onesies, pigtails, etc., on grown men and women. I get that it’s an escapist weekend, but why dress like babies? Who could possibly fuck a man in footie pajamas? Shudder.

  14. ‘summer camp’ type places for adults/families still exist. have taken the kiddo to rocking horse ranch in the catskills and woodloch pines in pa. there were plenty of adults sans children too. horseback riding, campfires, bingo etc. i dont really get how camp grounded is ‘revolutionary’ or its concept being new? i guess bc its adults only?

    • Because it costs way more, there are no kids and lots of drugs and a crowd of insufferable hipsters who feel the need to “escape” their hard lives but are to lazy to do something simple like find an air BnB in the mountains for a small group of friends or google to find something like what you described.

    • Yeah. I attended and then worked at a YMCA sleepover camp for 12 years. I loved it, but my experience is not unique nor can I replicate it by going to the woods without my fucking phone for 2 days. The time I spent at camp was the happiest of my life. I’m still friends with many of the people I met there. The facility hosts family camp weekend every Labor Day, which is lovely and enjoyable and fun too. But is not the same and no one expects it to be. I wish it was as easy to Xerox the joy of camp as assigning a bunch of adults to cabins and reminding them how to play capture the flag. As usual Julz you are 20 years late.

  15. What is that pink artifact on the last picture?

    I sincerely hope it’s not one of SK3B’s sex toys.

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