Updated, Now With Rainbow Creepster: Julia Allison, Who Thinks The Masculine Should Always Pick Up The Tab, Contemplates Her “Feminist” Past

faux feminist

Throwback to 2000 … Age 19, marching in support of feminism and abortion rights in Washington with my “big sister” Kimberly – who was the wife of then Republican Congressman (now Senator) Kirk.

I remember people putting Kimberly in all sorts of boxes. “You’re the wife of a republican official. You must believe XYZ (anti-women bulls–t).” Which she didn’t, clearly.

I’m now older than she was in this photo – and I see it with different eyes.

Here I see two brave women standing in solidarity. For freedom. For respect. For sisterhood.

Until ALL of us are free, none of us will be. — with Kimberly A. Vertolli.

Continuing to channel beloved Noodles Moodley, Donkey can barely function because her heart is breaking for her sisters!


Such pain! I wonder what she’d do if she ever had a real problem, like Dadsers not paying her rent.

Don’t worry, Donk. The old raunch will kiss it better, and then some.


Update: Ali Shanti, who wants to kiss Julia all over, is apparently still banging professional hula hooper Michael “Rainbow” Haynes. Skankatron just posted this rather creepy fauxto:



  1. Just a few moments ago, I finished reading a story making the rounds on FB. It’s about women truly walking the walk when it comes to aiding their “sisterhood” & there’s even a good rationale for when / why they put a man in their place, believing he’ll have an effect that they as women can not facilitate. Say what? 🙂 It makes sense, unlike any of this “masculine” tripe spewed & wooed by “feminines” merely looking for an excuse to “stand in solidarity” for the next fauxtoshoot.

    TL;DR: Shut the Greg damn fuck UP, Donkey. Contorting for a fauxto w/ a no-name congressman’s beard is hardly “brave”, you intellectually-challenged ditch pig — get back to us haterz & your fans in the ‘stans once you have actually, literally, done something selfless, out of your comfort zone, for women in need.


      • So she updates Kirk’s title (then congressman, now senator)

        But doesn’t say “now ex-wife.” She wasn’t his wife in the photo, she isn’t his wife now. But she’s still called wife?

        • But how else would she be able to name drop and sound super-connected and important? Just saying the woman’s name isn’t enough, she has to inform everyone of her one-time marital status to a politician. Such a strong feminist statement.

          • She used the same strategy for her first blog, way back in 2004. Lots of fauxtos of her few friends at Georgetown that were captioned with references to their parents’ positions and net worth! The tackiest, greg damn nouveau riche shit ever.

          • Ew, really? I never heard that one. Makes me think about her recent post about how her past self did the best they could and our past selves make us into our current selves (I cannot paraphrase because she totally fucked up the pronouns and tenses). Anyway. Yeah. I’ll leave it at that.

    • HELLO, Donkey is changing the world by…. um, she’s making the world a better place by…. she’s showing that women can be strong because…. um, she’s supporting herself by… um, err, oops?

      • She’s making the world a better place by posting fauxtos of herself taking a trek through the woods, contemplating nature, in stripper heels, for all the girls.

  2. Well Julia, it’s like Horace Walpole said: life is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel, and a heartbreaking experience on behalf of the collective sisterhood to those that are complete fucking idiots.

  3. I want to tell Mr. Handbag about “kisses for the hurt parts,” but I guarantee it would come back to haunt me.

    • Please be sure you have matching air-sickness bags nearby if you should happen to err against your better judgment.

      • I (of course) let him read the post, and when he got to the phrase in question, he waggled his eyebrows lecherously. He’s going to remember it and whisper it to me when we’re in the middle of a crowded room, I’d bet money on it. Why do the woos ruin language in a way I can’t help but quote for fun, WHY?

  4. I love how she’s so desperate for someone to ask her (beg her) what’s happening that’s injured her sisterhood. She’s not that deep but I think PhuckPhace was.

  5. What’s brave about a privileged white college student holding up a generic pre-made sign at an event where there was probably tons of police presence to protect her?

    I mean, did she actually think she was risking anything that day? Her safety? Her health? Her job? I hate when armchair warriors refer to themselves as “brave.”

    • And what has she done to support the sisters since? Posing with a sign isn’t activism and I agree people who claim to “change the world” or tell people how brave they are just posing (usually all over social media)…hey wait…

      • Not even when she was posing with a sign at the Taylor Swift concert? Julia Allison IS a Social Justice Warrior!

      • Her whole life is basically her posing with a sign but doing nothing. Metaphorically and literally.

    • Answer to your question: Nothing. There is nothing brave about going on a demo in favour of women’s rights in Washington DC. How can she even *dare* to use that adjective here? Once again, I ask myself: isn’t she embarrassed to write this???

  6. My heart is breaking for all the people you have fucked over all these years. Julia….still a fucking stupid evil cunt.

    SWF-ing someone’s boyfriend is not fucking solidarity you stupid souless whore.

  7. This is OT, but I think some of you cat peeps might be interested in reading this article. I found it pretty compelling.

    The Reductive Seduction of Other People’s Problems
    “If you’re young, privileged, and interested in creating a life of meaning, of course you’d be attracted to solving problems that seem urgent and readily solvable.”


  8. While she typed this, she was probably bawling over the fact that she’ll never even get to be a Republican senator’s ex-wife now.

  9. The feminists I know would never advocate for all homeless people to be shut away away from “normal” society. They would not shame people, especially poor people, for the nutritional choices they have to make, restricted by lack of access and lack of money. They would not trivialize rape by using it as an excuse for their lack of responsibility, nor would they use someone’s else rape survival story to silence. They would not cheapen feminism by using it and “support your sisters no matter what” rhetoric disguised as feminism to avoid personal accountability. They are aware of the world around them and the current state of affairs. They understand that oppression affects women of different races, sexuality, and gender identities differently (and NOT on a hierarchy) and do not project their own experiences as universal.

    Not that all feminists are the same, far from it! And to be clear I think most forms of feminist gatekeeping, e.g. you can’t be a feminist if you’re a stay-at-home mom, if you wear heels, if you wear lipstick, are abhorrent, but I am sorry, you cannot claim feminism if it just means you and the other white ladies in your privileged bubble want to feel empowered.

    On another note, I have a cat lady question. My cat, whom I love dearly but is also a spoiled rotten POS, likes to poop directly in front of the box. I’ve tried many things — getting a different box, getting an additional box, more litter, less litter, moving the boxes, litter mat, no litter mat, facing the box different directions, spraying enzyme cleaner everywhere, putting the poop into the box and showing it to him/various other things cat forums online say.

    He is a very well-loved and well-fed cat and had a clean bill of health from the vet who seems as stymied as we are, so I’m thinking it’s an attitude problem. He’s indifferent to both positive and negative reinforcement. It’s not the worst problem in the world (at least it’s in front of the box, at least it’s solid poo) but it’s unsightly and smelly and more work to clean up and please, has this happened to anyone else and what should I do?

    • Get him either 1) a bigger litter box, or 2) a second litter box. Cats often do not like to pee and poop in the same location. My furbaby uses opposite sides of the litter box (hence why getting a bigger one might help), but apparently some cats prefer to have a separate box for each.

      • So sorry, so fat…I now see that you have tried this.

        When you did additional litter boxes, did you try putting them in separate rooms? My kitty used to poop in a particular bathroom sink so regularly that we had to close the bathroom door at all times to keep her out of there. Cats have truly weird whims. Mine has been getting disciplined with the spray bottle lately to stop eating a (thankfully non-toxic) plant, and literally WITHIN TWO MINUTES of running away in fear after a spritz, she is back at it. She does not learn.

    • I’m inclined to think that your pos cat merely ‘steps into’ the box & then lets it all hang out — my suggestion is two-part: [1] Dr. Elsey’s “CAT ATTRACT” (in the red bag or box) & [2] change style(s) of box until you hit on one in which your pos cat walks into AND turns around in so that his dingleberries land in, not out.

      Your pos cat (I’m only rubbing that in cuz I feel your pain) might position itself differently between pissing & pooping (standing vs squatting) AND the pos cat must think its shit don’t stink, at least not enough to cause it to instinctively hide it — whatever the usual & dominate smell is in that area may need to be addressed so that your pos cat wakes up & uh, smells the coffee, so to speak.

      The Elsey’s CA is all but guaranteed to get him to stick his nose in, but still, try taping a wispy flap of paper furthest from the box entry to see if that causes him to step in & investigate — unlikely he’ll reposition in backup mode; rather, he will probably assume his pissing position to poop, since he’s geared towards walking out at that point. HTH. Been there; done that. It took years, but now I swear by the litter.

      Everything you said before the pos cat issue? So spot on. Very eloquent.

      • triangle cat box helps — fits into one corner and then up against the two walls

        bigger is better

      • Canned pumpkin (no spices or sugar added) is very good for keeping cats regular. It’s very healthy in general, so it couldn’t hurt!

    • While I am not a cat lady per se I watched a friend’s cat for like 9 months(!) one time and she had the unfortunate habit of crapping on the bed of all places. I think the temptation is to read all sorts of things into this (the cat is making a statement and other anthropomorphizing things) but looking at the circumstances around the crapping behavior that didn’t hold water for me. What I found the most helpful is thinking of this behavior as part of a “surface preference” meaning instead of interpreting it as “the cat doesn’t like the litter box for some reason” it’s the “the cat likes pooping on this surface.” I say this especially because you’ve already explored (and sounds like ruled out) the litter box really being the issue. Then, your options are less about to try to find something the cat “likes” (good luck with that) and more about conditioning the behavior AWAY from what you don’t want to happen. In other words, to make the surface they prefer over the litter box less available or less enjoyable. All the forums I read about this said crinkly material (like tinfoil) will work well and it worked for me. Just my two cents — I think this is one area where being a dog lady helped me figure out a solution. I know cats are far more complex than dogs, but sometimes the “dumb” seeming answer is the right one.

  10. Can you imagine being a teenager with a mother who invites unemployed 20-something dudes like DJ Toilet Fozzie and Rainbow Doug Henning into your home?

        • Not to worry. Fozzie got away and thinks even less of these folks than we do. I can’t wait for his tell-all bestseller, the book that really will climb the NYT charts.

          • so true- i would buy in a heartbeat

            even better would be a lifetime movie special

            “Not without My Molly”

  11. Was her heart breaking for sisterhood when she swooped in and banged a “sister’s” ex after consoling that sister about the breakup?

    • Mulia’s cold, black heart is breaking for SPINSTERHOOD, namely HERS.

    • I suspect her heart was breaking for her sisterhood back in 2006(?) when Donkey was banging married Alex. Didn’t she weasel a free NYC apartment out of him for an entire year after their breakup? Always living off the masculine. #peterbaugher

    • i thought that the new sister code was that YOU have the obligation to make it clear that another woman is not supposed to have sex with YOUR man, or else it’s game on

  12. It must be strange to post an old picture featuring a younger, pre-surgery version of yourself that looks like someone else entirely than the current you.

    • It is so weird how you can recognize her younger self (toddler brat Julia, high school dork Julia) from that picture, which you cannot from her post-procedure pictures. No wonder her mother doesn’t love her anymore; she doesn’t recognize her. Also, those procedures, in the service of basic, seem to have somehow stripped out any “cute” she had going for her.

  13. “Go There”
    Go there, she said.
    Go where?
    To the place where the flowers sing and the birds bloom. To the magical upside down world of the fucoid fairies and the docile dragons, of delicate tea pots filled with hallucinogenic brews, of words flowing ever so freely in the air, of damsels who’ve never felt any distress, of white knights with faces painted black, of angels gossiping about poets, of artists and wizards and ballerinas made entirely of cotton candy, spiked collars around their necks.


    There’s more. I can’t.

    • Esta loca! No really, her posturing is making her sound like she’s losing the grip on reality. Since we are talking about Burra, though, I strongly suspect that this is just another insincere posturing and not actual hallucinatory madness. Incidentally, I used to write shit like that when I was 14 or so…

      • As editor of “Poppy Seeds,” my high school’s literary magazine, I would have rejected this out of hand, our 70’s era all-inclusive, honor-every-voice, love-everyone policy be damned.


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