Updated, Now With Nature: I LOVE YOU RAIN!!

PhuturePhuckPhace's new FB profile fauxto.

Bottom Picture: Midlife crisis is tho thexthy! Shake it, Rain!

Update: A conscientious cat peep just sent me an email re: the absence of a comma in the headline. Yes, I do know about direct address! The headline is Julia’s original plea to Rain, in which she employed all caps, no comma, and two exclamation points.


Update Part Deux: Contemplative Donkey Is Contemplative.

“The great potential [of deep learning] is to awaken a powerful new creative impulse inside you, and as you follow this impulse you begin to witness the emergence of your genius. The central technique that makes this possible is Contemplation.

Contemplation is something of a forgotten spiritual path. Unlike meditation, it does not completely bypass the mind, rather uses it in a playful way to open new inner pathways inside our brain and body. It is through sustained gentle contemplation that we can affect subtle changes in our biochemistry.

[Great teachings / self learnings] are designed to be contemplated and digested over time. Each [lesson] contains a unique message, and each message takes time to absorb before you feel a change occurring in your life. Contemplation is far more than simply thinking about something. It is the direct imbibing of a universal truth at a physical, emotional and mental level. Therefore it is a good idea to begin your voyage … With a sense of relaxedness and patience.

To enter on a path of contemplation is to slow down inwardly in order that you begin to see things around you more clearly.”

– The Gene Keys: Unlocking the Higher Purpose Hidden in your DNA

I hope Sun Myung Donkey is contemplating how lazy one must be if unable to toss off a throwaway self-help book in 3+ years while Daddy pays the rent.


  1. “Yes to all of this”. Yes to what? The dust covering him everywhere (I don’t want to think what dusty stench hides beneath those pants)? The shirtless fur coat? The shirtless shawl?! Yes to what, Shantitown?!

    The other day Mulia posted a Tribe Called Quest song and tagged it #permissiongranted. In my head, all these woo women are responding to Smellsberg’s “May I show you”.

    CWABOA (Christ what a bunch of assholes)

  2. I’d hit it. But then I’d quit it pretty soon after. Balding doesn’t bother me – hello Outlander’s Dougall!! – but the refusal to be an adult is eww.

    • Also the asshole factor. Listening in on the phone surreptitiously while his current gf condescends his ex.

      • Yup. I love it when my masculine acts like a 12-year-old feminine.

      • Oh yah. I’d forgotten about that tidbit of douchebaggery. Wouldn’t hit it. Also, donkey stench.

        • According to Tiny&Cute, Rain has endured the donkey stench only because he thinks Julia Allison has “connections.”


    • Exactly. It’s not a mid-life crisis when you’ve spent the first half of your life as a man-child.

  3. What kind of hell would be unleashed on the various West Coast communities if BM did not exist for a few years? How would these overgrown children spend their parents’ money and what from kind of obnoxious soapboxes would they stand on and scold the working people? Would Rain Philthyphingerbang clear his eyes of sand and wake up from his five-year drug bender and realize that he’s a bald guy in his 40s playing music that cannot be tolerated while sober? Would Ali Neely go back to focusing solely on scamming attorneys (zero chance she becomes a real mom)?

    • They’d just go to the Rainbow Gatherings, which I’m REALLY surprised isn’t part of their deal, maybe the rainbows are just WAY to hardcore of woo’s for them…

  4. I know I’ve shared this before, but one of my sons saw him playing at some fifth-rate festival in Southern California a couple of years ago. When I shamefacedly asked my son if he’s ever heard of him, he was horrified, because he said it was the worst music he’s ever heard. I love you, Rain was playing one of the coveted early morning slots and my son’s friends all have a running joke about him, because he was that terrible.

    I’m all for following your dream etc., but what if you are terrible at it, or your dream is stupid? Then you kind of need to find a back-up plan. Doodling bad music at age 45 is a no.

  5. “That’s because I took it RIGHT after your wedding…”

    Teeheheheheheheheeee with a large side of mania followed with a dessert of mascara face tears.

    Seriously – the leg lifting on everything is so fecking exhausting.

    • That gif is so appropriate for donkey and how she relates to men. All the dog needs is a tutu.

    • In the photo she took, she’s even pissed all over him by sticking a rainbow heart over his heart (get it? Heart = heart; so 14 yr old Donkey immaturity). Was it a smaller stripper pasty from the rainbow coloured set she wore that BM?
      Awwww, thumb bewb.

  6. Are dodos, bucky balls and red lighting sex toys?

    I’d fuck him, but no talking and none of his shit music.

    • The silver geodesic dome behind him is a buckyball; Phuckphace is obviously the dodo; the red lightning, I dunno … streaks of ravaging STD infection, Ima guess.

      • std: they set fire to the wrong burning man.

        (weak attempt at pun – goes back to desk errands)

  7. Donkey:
    “That’s because I took it RIGHT after your wedding… wink emoticon.”

    “Listen, women of the Interwebs, that man is MINE MINE MIIIIIIIIIIIINE and only MINE. If any of you, bitches, as much as lays a finger on him I will execute every motherfucking one of you (with softness, of course).

    I don’t care what he says about me, he may think it’s over, but it’s not over until I say so. He sent me flowers ONCE! And we shared an RV in the desert! (or was that Devin? I can’t remember. Drugs are baaaad for memory).

    I LOVE YOU, RAIN!!!! “

    • Damn, I intended to respond to you and ended up creating a whole separate thread. SS;SF.

  8. O/T, but I feel a little badly for Jena. The latest love of her life won’t stay put:

    “Just before Ria got back from Japan she told me that she would soon after be leaving again, for a writer’s retreat to complete the book she’s currently authoring, to visit friends and attend workshops. I admit, I did doubt her love for me in that moment. Why would she be going away from me again when she’s barely been home? The answer is that her plans are not a rejection of me, they are an expression of her dedication to her unique path in life.”

    Sorry, Jena. She may not be rejecting you, but perhaps it’s time to admit that she’s not offering you the relationship you want and need.

    • How many times have I spun my break-up logic like this to comfort myself?

      “Mr. X is not rejecting you, BeepBeep, he is simply expressing his dedication to Miss Magical Vagina, that’s all. Have another pint of Ben & Jerry’s.”

    • “It’s not you, it’s my dedication to my unique path in life”.

      That’s a GOOD one!

      Welcome to Dumpsville, population: you.

    • Also, her girlfriend is super classy. She posts about her birthday with a link to her Paypal. Another HeARTist who would like the world to send her “Money Pleeeeeeze!!!”

      Ria Yoshida
      Yesterday at 02:09 ·

      It’s my I-came-out-my-mother birthday ? you can wish me love, kindness and support my art with $5 & $11 donations cause those are my mother flicking birthday numbers:
      Thank you very large ❤????

    • “complete the book she’s currently authoring”


      these people make me insane.

  9. He sent me flowers ONCE!. I sent myself flowers once to pretend he had sent them and when someone tagged him in praise, I quickly deleted the comment and acted like it never existed.

  10. Even though I’m no fan of this woo phase (good God, can it be over now?), I LOVE YOU, RAIN is by far my favorite part! Not the classic man-stealing start, but the desperation that has followed. I ALSO LOVE YOU, RAIN!!!

    Feel free to AK Kitty me if this was discussed, but absolutely no Mother’s Day ode to Robin? I deactivated FB a while ago, so I don’t even bother going there, and I didn’t really skim the comments because I was busy hanging out with my own family last weekend and then sitting at my desk job, but I haven’t seen any mention of it this week (admittedly, I haven’t looked closely). She must REALLY be mad at momsers for not bailing her out and writing BOOK! RIP BOOK.

    • JABA posted a “FB Memory” picture of her mom as a bride and captioned it, “I miss you, mom.” Very strange.

      • “I miss you, mom…..why won’t you write BOOK?!?!” LOL. Hard to miss someone when they are 25 minutes away from OMG downtown condo. Curiouser and curiouser.

        • Very, very strange. A post-Mother’s Day post? And when I first read “I miss you, mom,” I thought Robin might have died. Now I’m wondering if they’re estranged again. Didn’t Robin stop speaking to Donkey for a period of time because of something posted on RBNS back in the day?

          • Yep. I don’t remember exactly what on the site caused momsers to stop speaking to Julia, but there was a time way back in her NYC days when there was a, what I would call, slight estrangement. I go back and forth on Robin. On the surface she is a well-educated, seemingly lovely and loving person. Plus, she’s been through a lot in her background. Buuuuttttt, she birthed a donkey and enabled her by writing her columns, and constantly bailing her out and never letting her sink or swim in the real world. I want to feel for momsers, but she is, at least in part, responsible for the lazy, shameful “I was inside” donkey.

          • I wonder if Mom$er’s Mothers Day present was a braycation away from the grueling demands of her 35-year-old lurching toddler who probably needed help arranging books by color …?

            Hopefully, Mom$er is away at a parenting class.

            First choice, though, as stated elsewhere: I hope Donk & Dad$er are in a SF courtroom right now & Donk is miffed at Dad$er for coming down on her for getting caught breaking the law, so now she’s going to suck up to Mom$er

          • Are we SURE she’s in the OMGDC? She would have to tell every one of her FB “friends” and family never to mention Chicago. It would be a hard secret to keep. But people who know her are probably used to her weirdness.

          • Robin allegedly stopped speaking to JA after the Gawker/[redacted] fiasco. The clincher was the publication of the email demanding a MacBook Air from him.

  11. OT catladies. I’m getting back into my running routine and hate my music. I’ve listened to Hamilton quite enough.

    Any suggestions? A couple years ago I recommended Kettel to a fellow cat lady and she loved; hoping to be introduced to someone new. I like dance, electronica, musicals, new wave–I’m open to most music (except country and whatever Chad and David are doing…blech)

    • i download the armin van buuren “a state of trance” radio show and run to that. not only does it vary in tempo, but his commentary is unobtrusive. side benefit is that i’ve found a few other artistes to follow by listening.

      • I like his show. I’ve been listening to Markus Shulz recently. I have an app called podcast addict that I get dj sets on. I’ve also recently become a fan of Russian radio since the commercial breaks/talking DJs don’t bother me in a foreign language.

        • podcast addict seems to be for android only – rats. i use tunein radio – it has an asot channel and can also stream new zealand radio for when i want to hear what’s happening back home.

    • I was one of the cat ladies who was introduced to Kettel through your recommendation. Thanks so much!

      Here are some tracks I have on my latest running playlist:

      Busy Earnin’ – Jungle (and check out the fantastic video)
      Back Pocket – Thrill of the Arts
      Head – Prince
      Pretty Pimpin – Kurt Vile
      I Got 5 On It (Bay Bailers Remix) – Luniz
      Keep It Simple – Raleigh Ritchie
      Drug Party – Lil Durk (also Spent Me)
      Distant Past – Everything Everything
      Odessa – Caribou (also, Our Love)
      Come Into My Head – Kimora
      Bonnie & Clyde – Serge Gainsbourg
      Love Soup – Bon Voyage Organisation
      Never Want You Back – Chambaland
      Sonic – San Fermin
      My Baby Don’t Understand Me – Natalie Prass

      Hope you find something you like!

    • My go-to exercise music (I don’t run though) is Talib Kweli and the Wu-Tang Clan, but that may not be what you had in mind.

      Some other tracks on my (weird, sad, obese) list, perhaps you will find something that can inspire you:

      Fats Domino: Why Don’t You Do Right, Ballin’ The Jack, Yes It’s Me and I’m in Love Again
      Toy Dolls: Idle Gossip, Dig That Groove Baby, My Wife’s a Psychopath, I’m a Telly Addict
      Kinks: Where Have All The Good Times Gone, Til the End of the Day, Prince of the Punks
      Primal Scream: Medication, Motorhead, Stuka
      Everlast: Money, 7 Years
      Ramones: Chinese Rock, We Want the Airwaves, Do You Remember Rock’n! Roll Radio?
      Nick Lowe: Not Too Long Ago
      Ray Charles: I Don’t Need No Doctor, Hit the Road Jack
      Fatboy Slim: Wonderful Night
      Iggy Pop: The Passenger
      Buzzcocks: Ever Fallen in Love
      Bo Diddley: I Can Tell
      Yolanda Be Cool: We No Speak Americano
      Chemical Brothers: Galvanize
      Alesha Dixon: The Boy Does Nothing

        • All Day and All of the Night is one of my absolute favorites of all time, but I probably wouldn’t play it for exercise. Then again, the best. So many other songs by the Kinks and Ramones that I love.

          Last year they played The Passenger at the Milano airport when we were going through the arrival gate, MAGIC!

  12. With the exception of the bowed calves and greasy hair, the Donk’s looking good in the photo. A simple outfit like that is how she should dress.

    • How does one get their legs to bend that way? And did some small woodland create take that picture? How does she always find someone to take pictures of her no matter where she is? It’s the closest thing she’ll ever have to a talent.

    • Agree. She always looks best in basic, tailored clothes. There are tweaks needed, but this is not a horrific shitshow like most of her getups.

  13. Oh. My. Greg.

    She does the contemplative nature walk wearing……… STRIPPER SHOES!!!!!!!!!

    Irony is comatose.

    • I think those are actually hiking boots. They look like they have lug soles. And that looks (feels) like Muir Woods (or Muir Forest or Muir Valley or whatever she would call it.) Can’t some tech-savvy catlady do a geo-search thingie or whatever revealed that Donkey’s asthma location was actually a parking lot or something that one time?

  14. Did you see she added this caption at the end of the ‘Casually Walkin’ Through the Woods’ photo? It’s just for us!

    [Photograph taken Monday, May 9, 2016 – in California]

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