A Pleasurable, If Somewhat Dusty, Woo “Goddess” Roundup!

As Cryptic Burro has been silent, other than leaving notes on I LOVE YOU RAIN!!’s wall that remain unanswered, I thought we’d check in with some of the other goddesses in their own hive mind.

Jena la Flamme attended a “mistressmind” retreat in San Francisco with the usual suspects – Shanti, Jennifer Russell, Annie Tralala, Misha Noodley – and came home so invigorated that she made more pointless headgear:

Our crowns symbolize the fertility of Spring, not only as in literal biological reproduction, but also as reinvention, rejuvenation, and creative refreshment.

We made them by hand, with natural materials and a little wire and floral tape. My first attempts fell apart and humbly I persisted until I found a willing method and size.

By wearing these crowns we remind ourselves that we are queens and kings of our own existence. Our crowns are a call to walk with courage, dignity and healthy pride.

‪#‎pleasurableliving‬ ‪#‎pleasurablenature‬ ‪#‎pleasurablestyle‬ ‪#‎springtime‬ ‪#‎jenalaflamme‬ ‪#‎eroticinnocence‬ ‪#‎somethimgiswaking‬up

What a pointless existence!

Meanwhile, over in Nishaville, she felt – brace yourself! – low self-esteem:

I called my friend Kavita yesterday afternoon and said “I’m having a low self-esteem day.”

She listened; I talked. She talked; I listened. We shared the ways we were each feeling strong and connected, and the ways we were each feeling fragile and disconnected.

Through connecting with each other, everything softened into love, and we connected more deeply to ourselves.

Giving ourselves the listening, love and compassion we need is the ultimate. And, sometimes we remember the essential truth of love more quickly
through the listening, love and compassion of another.

We forgive ourselves.
We make amends.
We send love in every direction.

And we remember…

I am easy to love.
We are all easy to love.
Because we are love.
And love loves love.

Can this woman go to the greg damn bathroom by herself? I will never understand why some of you cut her any slack.

Finally, Ali Shanti returned from mistressmind and went to Arizona for an Edenic Transcendence retreat, where she and Colby Collins no doubt hustled more woo newbies into the sheets. When Ali finally returned to Boulder, she experienced DEEP THOUGHTS about motherhood. Maybe that poor kid will break away yet from the old raunch?

I was really resistant to the idea of my kid getting a job. I had this idea that I wanted her to get started on the entrepreneur path ASAP.

I had started working at restaurant jobs at 14 and didn’t come to entrepreneurship (reluctantly) until after law school and a few years of practice.
I thought she could learn from me, skip the job route and go straight into business and get a huge head start.

But she wanted the job, perhaps in rebellion to my wishes for her to start a business (individuation is so important).

So she went out and found one at the local bagel shop.

And it’s so good.

I’m remembering that there is a huge value to the experience of minimum wage/restaurant jobs.

She’ll come to entrepreneurship, if she does, with a far broader spectrum of experience.

And she’s already started to consider how she can make more money, seeing that minimum wage isn’t enough to live on.

Her creativity and motivation is sparked to a far greater degree than it was when I was overly encouraging and supporting her to explore business ideas without having had the experience of the $300 paycheck for two weeks of nearly full time work.

Remember when you were an actual attorney, Ali, and weren’t on the grift? Maybe you can leave your daughter out of your schemes? And what the fuck does it even mean to want your child to be an entrepreneur, anyway?

Is hula hooper Michael “Rainbow” Haynes still in the picture? No mention of him in weeks, though we did see a new profile picture. Poseidon Adventure, anyone? I call dibs on playing Carol Lynley!

219 COMMENTS

  1. How does that poor kid know that minimum wage isn’t enough to live on? I remember my first paltry paycheck where I was horrified that so much money went to taxes etc., but then I went out and spent it on cute shorts and chewing gum. First jobs are for saving up for concerts and French fries with your friends, not paying your underachieving hag of a mother’s rent and grocery bill.

    • I read that as the kid is eyeing moving out ASAP. I dont blame her.

      If Ali’s head wasn’t so far up her own ass, she might feel a little sad that her kid would rather work a shit job in a retail store than “learn the biz” from Mom and spend any more time with her.

      • oof good call. She’s looking at apartments and realizing its gonna take a long time to save up the money, especially if she wants actual curtains.

  2. I love Rainbow Doug Henning so much. His (stinky, polyester, thrift store) leisure suit is the cherry on the sundae.

  3. Did she drop out of high school or did she already graduate? (“Full time work”?)

    • Oy! I hope she’s still in school. I thought the kid was a junior. Summer job? fingers crossed emoticon

  4. “skip the job route and go straight into business”

    Having a job and being in business are different? I guess they are, in the griftoverse.

          • Why? There’s nothing here for her other than about thirty supportive, successful, strong female mothers who know all the cringey shit her Mom has done and–

            Oh. Right.

      • no shit. she went to georgetown, but greg forbid her child is encouraged to pursue a college education of her own.

      • She really does not want this kid to learn her own SSN and find out someone misappropriated it long ago for credit cards to book flights to mud fests.

        $300 paycheck for two weeks of nearly full time work

        Does … Not … Compute …

        • CO’s minimum wage is $8.31 … $300 divided by $8.31 comes out to 36 hrs … divided by two weeks is 18 hrs … even if/when you add back meager w/holdings, that’s nowhere near FT work pay …

          Is Alexis Martin Neely (AKA Ali Shanti after her $800k bankruptcy) really this fucking bad at math, & all the while, trying to shove her money map down everyone’s throat?

          I hope that kid isn’t listening to a word she says.

          • Yeah, my coffee shop/bakery f/t job paid $250pw back in 1992, after tax and I wasn’t even on full adult pay rates. I then took a traineeship which reduced my nett income to $150pw, but I was only working 3 days pw and studying the other 2 days pw and knew that after a year when the traineeship finished, I would be making much more. It was a short ‘backward’ step to actually propel me forward. Mind you, this was in Australia where our minimum wage has always been healthier (no reliance on tipping), but surely/Shirley over 20yrs later you’d be making more money for f/t work than I was when working p/t?
            And yes, I’m waaaay expired!

      • And learning on someone else’s dime is a great education. Her kid is smart enough to know her mom has nothing to teach her, and that’s what offended/insulted Ali. She just got schooled by her kid.

  5. every single one of these heifers are what is wrong with our mental health system. seriously

  6. Oh Ali, your daughter is already more mature than you and is interested in financially supporting herself by legitimately earning money. She’s shamed you, soon will be out-earning you, and likely can’t wait to put thousands of miles between you.

    • Is it just me, or is it absolutely insane to “encourage” your teenage kid to “go straight into business” / become an “entrepreneur,” even if that meant a legit enterprise and not a woo grift? How does it make sense for a teenager with no working experience or EVEN higher education to have an “entrepreneur” kind of responsibility? Like, what would the business be based on? Crying off rhinestones?

      Also, I thought it was pretty much generally acknowledged that having a job, more or less ANY kind of job, in your teens / 20s provides an invaluable perspective and teaches you volumes about the world and about your own capabilities, whether or not you want to become an “entrepreneur.” It has certainly been my perspective and the perspective of basically everyone I know. Then again, obviously jobs are for losers, so apparently not.

      • No, you’re right – as an actual, real-life entrepreneur, I would say it is horrifically bad advice to encourage a teen to “go straight into business”. There are always one or two stories of young people starting amazing businesses (say, writing an app) that do well – these are the absolute exceptions. A much, much better path is to get an education (doe this really need saying?!?) and then to get some work experience in the field in which you are interested, to learn the ropes, make some contacts and save some money.

        But I don’t think Ali or any of the woos ever use the term “entrepreneur” correctly. They mean scamming / “coaching”. It is all nonsense anyway.

        • Yes, having a ‘normal’ job is essential for most, I think. If you eventually do want to start your own legitimate business, it will help in so many ways; being accountable, taking on more responsibilities as your skills progress etc. I think it would also teach you so much about what kind of boss you want to be. If you never have the experience of being an employee, how as a teenager starting a business would you fully understand how to treat your employees and how they feel if you’ve never had that experience and your grifty, scammy ‘mother’ is the only bad example you’ve had?

          I’m glad her daughter has the strength to push for what she wanted and to go out and do it. Greg knows her mother doesn’t seem to want to look out for her future.

      • It’s laughable that Ali thinks she’s a business woman or entrepreneur. She is neither and never been successful at anything she’s done. Do the opposite of what she says or does. Many of these woos think being jobless qualifies as being an entrepreneur, which I’m not sure how exactly. Begging people for money isn’t a business.

    • Ali is the only parent, ever, to say “Oh, my daughter just got that job to spite me.”

  7. I shouldn’t be surprised – but I am – that Ali does not even mention college in passing in this post. I really think we can assume that there was no money put aside for college education for her kids, or that she spent it. She is the worst.

    • Definitely no money. The proof is in her year-long attempt to worm money out of her mother so that Ali could pay The Jazzerciser to film her running around burner fests doing God knows what. How much would it have cost to pay this stoner and a couple of his buddies to follow her around with a camera? It’s not as if The Jazzerciser is Vilmos Zsigmond or Jack Cardiff or even a professional wedding photographer. Couldn’t she just have paid them in money maps and BJs? Nope, bitch has no money, which is why she wants her kid to be an “entrepreneur,” AKA a member of the money map team.

  8. Shut up Noodles, stop trying to make you happen.
    These goons are so in love with the smell of their own farts.

    • Yes they really are. Well put. I can’t bear Nisha, who “cleverly” abuses feminism and the idea of “sisterhood” to make it seem as if she is doing some kind of good, important, global work, when it’s all a con and an ad for some bullshit “workshop” (even the word “workshop” needs to be apostrophised with these scammers). I really really hate her a lot, actually.

      • Hi, Nisha here. I don’t claim to do good, important, global work. I just do the work that feels like the best way I can contribute to the individuals I work with, because even if you can’t see it, I actually do care. Like anyone else, I’m doing my best.

        @Fameless Shamewhore, if you hate me so much, let’s actually meet in person and sit down for a face-to-face conversation, and you can share how you think I can do better. Also, I don’t understand why anyone would want to spend so much time cutting other people down, and I really would like to understand more about why this is important to you. I’ll fly to you. Do you have the courage to meet me, or would you prefer to hide behind your computer?

        Nisha

        • Wow. You must goggle yourself on a hourly basis. Why don’t we like you? I don’t like you for appropriating feminism and promoting being “Fierce, Fabulous, and Free” as a form of co-dependency to line your pockets. I also wouldn’t trust anyone who’d be friends with a low-rent con like Ali Shanti or refer to Julia Allison, a layabout who lives off her daddy’s money, as a “dear friend.”

          • Someone sent me the link this morning, which is how I found the post. I haven’t actually looked at the site before today, and don’t plan to, but definitely felt compelled to reach out.

            I don’t feel that I appropriate women’s equality to sell anything, but I’d like to understand how you see it that way. If you’re willing to, please explain. I’m sincerely curious. Thank you.

            I run a free annual event for women around the world and we don’t promote anything with it — we promote nothing to those women, ever. It’s 100% free. To fund that, pay my bills, and pay my team (all of whom are work-from-home moms), I create courses with the intention for women to feel more genuinely confident in their work and relationships. So the free thing doesn’t promote the paid stuff. The paid stuff funds the majority of the free thing. It’s my job, and I work hard at it. And I know I’m not perfect! I’m learning every day; I’m a work in progress just like anyone else.

            What hurts, honestly, is to have people say they hate you when they don’t even know you, and to bash you publicly. Listen, I’m not asking you to cry for me, but I’m a human, not a robot…so yeah, that hurts. I’m sure it would hurt just about anyone. I’m not trying to be famous — I’m just trying to do good work. I’m sure you all try to go to work each day and work hard to pay your bills and take care of your families. Can you imagine if people said hateful things about you, when you were just trying to do your job? Or if someone was talking this way online about your kids? I don’t know, but maybe it would hurt you, too.

            As for my friends, I don’t pass judgment on people until I get to know them personally, and all of my friends have good, caring hearts. They’re not perfect, either, and many of them have made their mistakes more publicly than most, which is a tough position to be in. But they do sincerely care about others and do their best to show that through their actions.

            I’m still fascinated that this site exists and wish I could meet y’all face-to-face and get to know you, to understand what makes you tick! It seems some of my friends have struck a nerve with you, and strangely, I guess I have too.

          • Oh, please. You are the company you keep. Shanti? Con artist, narcissist, horrible mother who can’t separate her needs from those of her children. Read latest post. La Flamme? Navel gazer and fake who moans about her horrible injury while going out dancing. Annie? Married to and advocating for a Pick Up Artist scumbag. Julia Allison. Really? She’s a lying psychopath. Such sisters! Yuck.

          • @Gilly, since you wrote the initial post, can I ask you a question?

            I have no issue with you all defending the values of feminism and if you really think I’m misappropriating, then I don’t take issue with you saying so. That’s part of why I came here — to understand what all the fuss is about.

            What I don’t understand, though, is why some (all?) of you bash people for their LOOKS. The last thing women need is more people — men and women — picking them apart for how they look. Commenting on “fat fingers”, “huge teeth”, “leathery skin”, “bowlegged”, etc etc.

            Would any of ever want our daughters to be torn apart or judged for their looks? To feel like they had to look “perfect” to be treated with some decency and respect? How would any one of you feel if people talked that way about you?

            If this blog was about poking lighthearted fun, or even talking about what you see as injustices, I could understand. But to have people shit-talk women’s bodies? I don’t see how that props up the feminism you’re so righteously defending. Again, no issue with you defending it, but anyone who would talk about women’s bodies that way isn’t actually a feminist.

          • Nisha – In general very few comments bash women’s bodies and I never post entries about such – maybe actually read a few entries instead of telling us how you’re fascinated yet refuse to look? – and I have always discouraged such language on the blog. However, I absolutely will comment on Jena la Flamme putting on another ridiculous piece of headgear and blithering on and on about her goddess self, or narcissist Julia Allison putting on pepperoni pasties and an Egyptian headdress for another pointless photoshoot, or Ali Shanti and her kid doing softcore porn poses as the camera clicks away. Frankly, I don’t know folks who have the time or the inclination to play dress up as though they were four years old and then plaster photos of such nonsense all over the internet. And responding in shocked laughter to Shanti talking to a camera for TWO HOURS while crying off her rhinestones as her bizarre eyelashes get even more matted isn’t anti-feminist. Please. Read the actual blog instead of deflecting.

        • I don’t give two fucks about your “self confidence” grift disguised as feminism but the fact that you have no qualms misusing feminism and empowerment of women while in the same breath you participate and do not denounce the rapist rabbi is vomit inducing and reason enough to despise your “work”. You are very comfortable using women’s empowerment to sell shit while simultaneously participating in shams like Donkey’s self wedding which was going to be officiated by this predator until this site exposed it.

        • Dear Nisha,

          I dare you to go out into the community and help others, those who are disempowered and unable to find their voice. You pretend to be a feminist, a feminist who vacations very other week and Instagrams about her low self esteem. There are others in SF who are out in the neighborhoods you and or fellow woos would shit of fear along with your unconscious and conscious bias. Plenty of organizations, hell, you are welcome to volunteer. I dare you. Read to children, feed the homeless, clothe the battered woman trying to provide a new life for themselves. Get over yourself, your arrogance and self righteousness. They are true heroes, and my dear, you and your fellow woos are not among them@Nisha

          San Franciscan resident

          • “rapist rabbi”? Now I am confused. I don’t know who you’re talking about.

            I do believe there are true heroes out there and I do not count myself among them. As for volunteering, I do. And my mother was a battered woman, so we do our own support around that. Again, I’m no hero, and under no illusion that I am.

          • The reference is to Marc Gafni, who was initially to officiate at Julia Allison’s ludicrous wedding to herself.

          • Oh, thanks for clarifying. I’ve never even had so much as a conversation with him — don’t know him whatsoever. Years ago, I saw him at an event, but haven’t seen him since.

          • Nisha,
            I am not here for a she said she said argument; that is a waste of time with the work I do and I also work dam hard. Everything I have is with blood sweat tears and utter gratitude to the lord. I volunteer too in fact my entire career and hobbies has been to quietly empower and lift up my community.I don’t need the limelight but you and your fellow woos in fact bask in it. That Johnson character is asking for those to pay her bills for her. Please has a practitioner of yoga and mindfulness as you proclaim truly take that practice to heart.
            I call into question someone who befriends someone with obvious and serious mental health issues who does nothing to impact her own life let alone anyone else. There is a saying in many cultures my mother reminds me “tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are”. You can’t force people to take you seriously when you acquaint yourself with the types of people that you do. I am here to read truths and honesty that is voided in your own heart that is why you are here. please prepare your ego and your heart for the truth. This site is not just funny but it brings honesty in a snippy way. I can tell since you are here it bringing you your spoon full of honesty since In your own life is filled with untruths and dishonesty from those that proclaim the understanding of what is truth, reality and friendship.

          • But yet Marc Gafni “funds” your so-called friends whom you don’t seek to pass judgment? Mighty selective of you. That alone makes you qualified to empower no one, least of all yourself. Get a job.

          • “That Johnson character is asking for those to pay her bills for her.”

            “Marc Gafni ‘funds’ your so-called friends…”

            …you must know more about my friends than I do, because I have absolutely no idea what either of you is referring to in these statements!

            In any case, I didn’t come here to fight, I just wanted to understand where you’re coming from. As I said, I’ve never looked at this site before, and I’m honestly surprised you all care to spend your time trash-talking folks you don’t even know. To that end, I’m not sure that we even have a chance for a productive conversation.

            Oddly, though, I’m grateful that you took the time to talk with me, even though we don’t see things the same way.

          • Unfortunately, the comments have been a bit bizarre and I’m somewhat at a loss here. However, the Jess Johnson remark refers to the fact that Cory Tanner Glazier made a video encouraging everyone to fund Jess Johnson because “she’s changing the course of history.” Jess has apparently filmed testimonials in which folks talk about how amazing she and how we should give her our money. There’s even a GoFundMe project that Jess started for herself! How is throwing goddess parties in which women walk around topless while men ogle them changing the course of history?

          • Lala’s husband works with Gafni, she’s also mentioned working with a known child rapsit, and is the mother of a small child. Shanti has been PAID by Gafni for Success 3.0 Summit. Ignoring your friends unethical and or illegal behavior doesn’t make you a good friend, it makes you an enabler and eventually like all others you’ll be a victim of these “friendships.” Just like the “someone” who sent you this link, they didn’t do it for you, they did it for themselves.

        • Nisha, Thanks for coming here. I think it was brave of you. We have a tendency to conflate all of the woos into one big batch of dishonest scamminess, so I think that’s why many people here assume you are as corrupt as the biggest scam artists in your extended circles . Guilt by association is not always fair.

          For my part, I really cannot stand your ex and think he treated you horribly for years. It angered me to see you advocate for women and claim to be a feminist while putting up with that kind of treatment from someone you thought of as a life partner. Part of me realizes that this is very close to blaming the victim and for that I am sorry. but you also glamourized the lifestyle and bragged about the material stuff that he brought into your world, perhaps to make yourself feel better. You were making the golden handcuffs of an unhealthy, misogynistic relationship that much stronger. I will have a hard time forgiving you for that, at least until you come clean.

          Still, I have always thought you were more honest and genuine than anyone else in your circles, and I do wish you the best.

          • Brave of ya to come here, I agree. I would like to see you say who it was that sent you the link, just so they can take the opportunity to be as brave & own the fact that they read here e.v.e.r.y. d.a.y.
            ::waves to Donkey::

            Not gonna rag on ya for putting up w/ crap trtmt from the ex — been there done that — it’ll be sad for awhile & then you’re better prepared to know a keeper when one comes along.

            I don’t have it in me to work up a head of steam over you — you & the fauxtog (Wendy Y?) seem the most likeable of the bunch & people I’d have a beer w/, probably. The others, though? Got no use for those scammers.

          • @Not! and @How

            Thanks. It actually is taking some bravery, especially since there are still people writing in this thread about how much they hate me. Hate is a really strong and, frankly, scary word. Not sure I have the stomach to stick around for any more conversation so this might be the end of the road here for me.

            Where do you live? I can’t fly everywhere but I can fly to one place. Would prefer to not get murdered, which based on some people’s feelings towards me here, feels like a roll of the dice.

            @Not!
            I appreciate what you’re sharing here, and thank you for the compassion. My ex and I had a challenging relationship as many couples do, but it was not in any way abusive (ie. there was no intent to harm on either of our parts). We just broke up a lot. We’ve parted ways amicably and have respect for each other as individuals, and I have no desire to air our dirty laundry publicly or speak badly of him. We were both doing our best in a sometimes messy situation. So I am just intending to own my part and digest what I’ve learned from it over time.

            @How
            It wasn’t Julia who sent me the link (pretty certain she hasn’t seen anything on the site for years now), but I’m not going to share who sent it because I’m not about to drag anyone into this.

          • omg enough with the “I’m so brave” “trembly bottom lip” nonsense! You are a grown ass woman who posts a lot on a public Facebook site about yourself, your feelings, etc. You gotta be able to take some criticism, girl. Otherwise you need to be in a different business.

            I notice that you have not yet engaged with any of the more serious criticisms that have been expressed here, by me or by others. I would be really interested in some reaction to the more salient points.

          • @Fameless Shamewhore I’ve stopped interacting with anyone who seems hateful or intractable (you literally said you “hate” me), because I can see that it goes beyond lighthearted poking-fun-for-your-reality-TV-type-amusement, to actually wanting to fight. And I have about as much interest in fighting with people on the internet, as I do with fighting with people in real life, which is exactly zero.

            I can talk civilly with people who are willing to offer civility and respect, but really have no interest and see no point in getting in some tit for tat with someone who isn’t actually open to a mutually respectful conversation.

        • Nisha (if you are indeed her), speaking for myself only, I don’t hate you at all. I don’t “hate” any of you, but there are people in your “tribe” that kinda stink IMO. Honestly, you’re just unfortunate “collateral damage” in The Donkey Show. I *don’t* want to hurt your feelings, or JLF’s, etc., but I have to say, I will laugh at “business priestesses” and “sacred commerce” and white girls with bindi and able-bodied adults who think the world owes them $5000 a month to go to parties and believe they are changing the world when they get a haircut.

          Seriously, for your own peace of mind, just ignore this site. It’s all about The Donk. I wonder why someone would send you a link to such a (for you and your friends) downer of a site. I always wonder what the motivation was, when someone links to us. “Hey look, strangers in a remote corner of the web are making fun of one of our friends!” Do they want you to see mean stuff about yourself or your friend?

          If I could ask you any question, it would be “When you hold one of your women’s groups, what does Donkey say her business is? Does she pretend to be an entrepreneur? When you discuss goal-setting and growing your income, does she just sit there silently?” But you are a loyal friend who would not discuss that. 🙂 See, it’s all about the Donk for me. The phony career, the book bragging, the obsession with Silicon Valley and “tech” when she has never had any involvement in either one, and now the green-washing and Zen-washing to seem crunchy and spiritual…. it’s pathological. Seriously, can you help this nutbar to maybe set some goals and live with more authenticity?

          • the power of the basement is truly astonishing…that global $i$terhood etc seems plain and simple scams to me predatory on vulnerable woman, the opposite of sisterhood… if that is really the beaver engaging here that would be more cray cray that everything else… and yet truly healing from some of the feedback if embraced, with softness

          • @Tingolayo It’s somewhat comforting to know that you’re not actually out to hurt anyone here.

            To answer your question, Julia has never taken part in my women’s groups, but you’re right, I wouldn’t share what anyone in one of those groups said, because it’s not my business to share — it’s theirs 🙂

        • Okay Nisha. I would love to meet you and explain to your face why I find you inauthentic. I am very flexible with my time for most of the summer, and I live near an airport in a major east coast city. How kind of you to offer to fly to me. Post a throwaway email here and I will contact you to make arrangements. Since you are paying for the transportation, I will buy you a nice dinner.

          • I wish I could embed a popcorn .gif.

            I can’t wait for Lahlee to meet Moodley. I’m so fucking excited.

          • I’d buy a ticket to that show.

          • I’m definitely not interested in it being a “show”, but a mutually respectful meeting. I’m open to hearing what you have to say and understanding why this website’s purpose is so important to you all. I’m also curious about who started it and why.

            @Moroccanwear — you can email me at thisemailwillexpire@gmail.com . I just ask that you please be respectful and I will do the same. If you truly “hate” me or have any intention to cause harm to me, please tell me and we won’t meet, for obvious reasons.

          • Morrocan is kind & we do not speak for each other. If you want to have a girls weekend and take pictures, fine. It’s the monetizing these events without any discernible talent or skill-set to help people that’s the problem.

            Here are some facts about your friend Ali that if you knew and were still friends with her speaks more about your lack of integrity than hers. I also write in my real name & have zero interest in ever meeting you. There’s a profile of your group that you call friends that the rest of the world calls grifters. I expose frauds, not befriend them.
            http://www.killingmycareer.com/?s=Alexis+Neely

          • If you go, Moroccanwear, I want pictures and you’re doing a guest column!

            Nisha, I never said anything about hating you, and though I find Ali Shanti and Julia Allison repugnant, there isn’t a funnier TV show around than WooVille. One couldn’t make up a cast of characters that includes everyone from Michael Ellsberg to Eben Pagan, and how could we not tune in?

            Re: your query about this website, RBD has been around in some form since 2008. It began life as Reblogging Julia and quickly turned into Reblogging Non-Society. Now as Reblogging Donk, or Rediscovering Donk, the site does pretty much now what it did in the beginning, which was to parse the very public antics of fameball Julia Allison, once the third most hated person on the internet and a figure that many readers encountered in the wild, never with positive results – you wouldn’t believe some of our tipsters! Oftentimes the company Julia keeps ends up here, usually with their own sordid history, e.g., Ali Shanti. Having known Julia Allison, I think anyone who friends her and/or is willing to defend her lazy, spoiled ways – she couldn’t even finish that stupid self-help book for St. Martin’s – is suspect.

            Somewhat OT: Geez, the huscat and I try to watch a movie and snuggle in front of the TV and all hell breaks loose in here. wink emoticon

          • “I’m definitely not interested in it being a “show”, but a mutually respectful meeting. I’m open to hearing what you have to say and understanding why this website’s purpose is so important to you all. I’m also curious about who started it and why.”

            I am completely unable to explain why this website is important to anyone except me. I also have no idea who started it or why they started it, if that is your purpose in meeting with me.

            I mostly skip the posts on RBD about the woo crowd, although I fully support and understand why they are there. I have never wasted even a fraction of a second thinking about you, wondering about you or hating you. But I can tell you why I find you inauthentic.

            To be clear, I also do not generally do risky things like meeting internet strangers. I have no intention of telling you a single thing about myself, including my name. I will meet you at a public restaurant that is a short cab ride from the airport. I will tell you what I promised. I will pay for our meal, and I will leave. I will, in all likelihood then report back here about our meeting.

            I have to warn you that I am pretty charm-proof. If you think you are going to turn me around on your business and your friends, probably not.

            I will contact you after work this afternoon.

          • @Moroccanewear

            Not interested in charming you or selling you on anything. We can just ask each other questions and be done with it.

            I will email you about this but I won’t meet you if you don’t disclose your name (privately, by email) in advance, because that would be NUTS on my part.

            No, I’m not going to tell my friends your name, and I actually haven’t told anyone I said I’d meet you. But I do need to at least google you. People require at least as much for a coffee date, and I’m flying across the country to meet someone who’s friends with at least a few people who dislike me.

            I’m sure you’ll understand. Thanks.

          • I understand your point. Unfortunately, people have been harassed at work and threatened with lawsuits because your friend Julia thought they might participate on RBD. That is unappealing to me, so I really won’t give my name to you.

            I guess I don’t do many coffee dates either, because I am ungoogleable. I have a Facebook that I have locked down tight as a drum and basically never update or participate on. I have no other web presence under my actual name. So even if I gave it to you, it would do you no good.

        • Hey Noodles,
          Your hashtag activism is vague and self serving. How many selfies does it take to make sure sisterhood is blah blah whatever? Honestly, like what is the point of what you do? White women holding up a sign written in basic bitch “calligraphy” has all the meaning and impact of “1 like = 1 prayer”.

        • Nisha, sorry I took so long to reply; I live in Europe and only just got up and saw this.

          I really thought that I had made it clear in my original post what it is about you that I hate. But just to clarify: I hate phonies. And I identify you as a phony.

          Even your post here is full of bullshit. You write: “I don’t claim to do good, important, global work.” Well, let’s look at the heading to your Facebook page:

          “The world will be set free by women who are free. Sisterhood is the key.”

          On 25 March, you posted a video, in which you “talk about the paradigm-shift that we feel women are being called into at this time.”

          And when you talk about your retreats, you use language like this: “Watching women melt the walls of separation and isolation to truly come together in sisterhood, supporting one another powerfully and with depth and presence, is a beautiful thing to behold. I can truly say it’s the greatest honor of my life to facilitate those connections.”

          And finally, Global Sisterhood, which you founded. My view is that this is just a front, a way to give yourself credibility to strengthen your business (which is simply charging women to attend retreats). It tries as hard as it can to look like a charity or NGO, without actually doing anything concrete for women.

          Let’s look at what your website says:

          What is Sisterhood?
          For nearly all of human history, we have lived together in community, supporting one another. No matter what we were going through – good times or sad – there would be other women there to support, celebrate, encourage and care for us. When women come together to celebrate and support one another, shame and insecurity are brought into the light, and we work together for healthier communities and a better future. Sisterhood is the supportive structure that holds all of life together.

          How are we Celebrating?
          March 21st, 2015 was the inaugural Global Sisterhood Day. Women from around the globe gathered in small groups to celebrate the unique and important relationships between women, and engaged in meaningful conversation about their hearts, lives, and vision for the planet. We had over 2700 participants from more than 75 countries, participating in over 115 circles…not to mention the countless informal celebrations that happened that day. This annual global event is an opportunity for us to collectively take a stand for a future that is only possible when we rise in connection, support and celebration of one another.

          If this isn’t, as Gilly brilliantly puts it, “appropriating feminism… to line your pockets” then I don’t know what is.

          Do you get it now?

          Now, to answer your questions: I think you could “do better” by dropping your bullshit. Sell your retreats, sure, as a much-needed break for women to relax – a spa weekend if you will – but stop pretending they are a necessary part to some kind of wider empowerment for women. Just stop with the nonsense. As long as you are still writing about a group that includes Jena La Flamme and Ali Shanti, “we are committed to living lives of devotion, service, growth, pleasure, artistry and impact”, you are lying and I reserve the right to call you out on it on this website.

          To answer the question about why “spend so much time cutting other people down”: I love this site because it brings together a whole bunch of really smart, really funny people (“from around the globe” as you’d put it), to laugh and point fingers at a whole bunch of narcissists, scammers and woos. In other words, it’s entertaining and I like to have a little look at the site as a break from my stressful life running an actual business (I get things produced in a factory and sell these manufactured goods to retailers). Beyond that, this site has developed into a truly wonderful tightknit online community where we can discuss all sorts of other things – personal and political and literary. I love my fellow cat-ladies and -gents and they have given me a lot of support over the years.

          As to your final question: I do indeed prefer to “hide behind” my computer. Given the circles you move in, I just would not feel comfortable giving you my name and contact details. Just one example: through your friendship with Ali Shanti, there would be a connection to her ex, Craig Allen Filek. I don’t trust either of them at all and would not want them to be able to contact me. My husband is a somewhat public figure. I would worry that they could do us harm in some way. Shorter: some of your friends have no morals and are creepy and scary.

          • @Fameless, for the record, I’ve made not ONE penny off of Global Sisterhood (never had anyone tell me they hired me because of it and I don’t promote anything for personal or business profit to the people who are only signed up for that event)…AND I have spent roughly $60K of my personal savings to set it up. Not a lot for some people, but a LOT for me.

            I know you don’t know me, so you can only assume what my intentions are, but it was never a front to make money, fame, etc. I did it because it felt like an opportunity to facilitate women gathering with women in their communities, period. Just as you benefit from the connections to others on this site, I felt that a lot of women are isolated and lonely and connection & community is so valuable.

            From all the quotes you offered of mine (should I be flattered to have been so thoroughly “stalked”?), I’m just talking about what I believe in. Anyone can do that. I’m not saying “look at me, I do good, important, global work.” There are many people I would hand that honor to FAR FAR more than me. I am just talking about what I believe, because I do think the world is a better place when ALL women find the courage to talk about what they believe in.

            It feels like you’re pretty committed to “hating” me, so I won’t be surprised if you want to continue this fight, but I really didn’t come here for that and I don’t want to engage unless it’s mutually curious and respectful. You don’t know me or my intentions, and while we’ll probably never be best friends, I hope we can at least be kind to each other. I’m not out to get anyone or cause any harm.

          • Nisha, I say the following “with softness”:

            I am not surprised to hear that you don’t make any money directly through Global Sisterhood. But it’s true, it would take a lot of convincing to persuade me that setting up that site was really an altruistic move and not part of a marketing plan for the rest of your business. Sorry, but I am cynical that way.
            However, I do get that you have a line, and you’re sticking to it.

            I honestly didn’t stalk you. I wanted to respond to your post, so I just went to your Facebook page and quickly looked through it to find some examples.

            You speak and write the language of woo. And I happen to think that language is full of nonsense, designed either to say nothing but just sound nice or to actively deceive. I don’t know if it is possible for you to “take a step back” and read what you write (or what your friends write) and try to hear it objectively. To those not in that circle, it can sound both pompous and air-headed.

            At the end of the day, I’m just not buying what you’re selling.

          • @Nisha,

            First of all, I never partake in the body or looks comments and it makes me, and many others here, uncomfortable. So to that, I agree with you. I also don’t “hate” anyone. I do find JA to have a NPD and it makes me seriously doubt anyone’s intent and mental state if they’re friends with her. Especially since she’s still behaving the way she does at 35 years of age, and also given her track record for cheating and fucking people over.

            My question for you is this: Can you explain to me what formal training you have that makes you believe you are in any position to act as an advisor to women, and charge money for it? Are you licensed in any way? Do you have a psychology degree or some other sort of counseling degree? I haven’t taken two seconds to look into you so I apologize if this is stated some place obvious.

            Personally, I have watched friends attend “retreats” like you and your friends sell and then watched their whole lives blow up because they believe the rules of society no longer apply to them (they can quit their job, become polyamorous, “I can be a spiritual advisor too!” etc, etc.), It never ends well and they usually leave behind their “unenlightened” loved ones in their path of destruction.

            I hope you’ll respond to this post.

          • @Fameless, and I also “do get that you have a line, and you’re sticking to it.”

            It sounds like we’ll have to agree to disagree, because I can’t convince you, nor do I want to, that my intentions are good.

          • @Because
            Glad to know not everyone is engaged in the body bashing.

            First, I do not disagree that there are a lot of “coaches” out there who perhaps have good intentions, but not the most sound guidance. Unless someone was in an abusive situation or simply knew for themselves that their time was up in their relationship, I would never urge someone to leave their partner, for example. In a similar vein, I would never encourage someone to “take the leap!” and quit their job without a sound plan. I understand that not all coaches have a good rep, but there are indeed many out there doing good and grounded work.

            As for my experience, I studied holistic nutrition, then did a 1-year executive coaching program. I’ve done lots of shorter certification-type trainings in the years since. I’ve been doing this work for 9 years and, like any job, a lot of the skill comes through the practice. I’m not diagnosing anyone or telling them what to do with their lives — I’m simply helping people come to their own truths about what they want, and get in action around those things, which doesn’t require a psychology degree, but does require great care and the experience of having done it many, many times before.

            Thanks

          • Professional victim there aren’t “people’s own truths,” it’s just THE truth, something you and your friends avoid along with accountability while placing blame to excuse inexcusable unethical and or illegal behavior. Your own unwillingness to see your friends for who they are, again, doesn’t make you a good friend, it makes you an enabler.
            IF Shanti sent you here, and encouraged you to sue or threaten to sue (because that’s right out of the woo-handbook) ask Ibrahim AlHuesseni how well that worked out for him, and she’s using you as puppet, that’s not friendship, that’s manipulation.

        • Nisha,

          You and I have some friends in common. If we happen to meet someday, I’ll introduce myself and we can talk about this site. For now I’ll give you my take.

          I don’t hate you.( Julia and Ali horrify me. My skin crawls.) I am skeptical of everyone involved in the “woo” coaching/network marketing scene. FYI, I have a crunchy side; I’m a longtime yoga lover, have practiced meditation on and off since childhood (learned in acting class), have had a few experiences I’d describe as supernatural, used to love hallucinogens… The combination of new-age practices, with aggressive marketing, NLP and a circle jerk of cross promoting endless workshops and seminars to empower each other both fascinates and grosses me out.

          Of course it hurts to see strangers writing about how little they think of you or your work. I think you are probably overestimating how much time any of us spend here. It’s a few minutes at a time. Most people we talk about here try to emphasize how they are at one with their work.

          For example, if Ali’s work consisted of writing advice blogs and books for attorneys, and she separately posted some weird, personal stuff on Facebook, we probably would not be interested. But no, she is marketing advice to attorneys, dubious, high-priced financial coaching packages despite a dumpster-fire track record, and amazing, this-changes-everything insights about her sex life, presented as cohesive wisdom rising undiluted from the very essence of who she is. All this, in video form, as she sobs her false eyelashes off. Nisha, try to see this from the outside and tell me you can’t see how it is entertaining?

          I don’t think being entertained by characters like this is different, or weirder, than being entertained by, criticizing or discussing any other type of character. It is exactly like watching and then discussing a favorite reality show. If your business is yourself, criticisms of your work may get personal. I do not think this means it would be nice or fair to declare open season on bullying everyone with an internet presence. But frankly, you run with a crowd of scam artists.

          I believe you have good intentions and real feelings. But my understanding is that you sell experiences that center around the wisdom and empowerment of spending time in a circle of women (paraphrasing here!). As you market your services, you tell us that your own power and success has been greatly enhanced by your own circle (goddess circle? can’t remember what you guys call it) and there is Ali, serial con artist.

          If you were marketing your skills as a builder or surgeon and I happened to see a post about how happy vacationing with friends like Ali made you, fine. But what you are selling IS vacations with Ali, basically. You know?

          • @Dusty, since you’re not being basically hateful and intractable, I will respond to you, and I thank you.

            You are right that I do “sell experiences that center around the wisdom and empowerment of spending time in a circle of women.” Yes, that’s part of it. I will add that it’s that AND developing what I consider to be leadership skills (clear vision, compassionate communication, vulnerability and resilience, etc).

            And, “As you market your services, you tell us that your own power and success has been greatly enhanced by your own circle.” Sure. Yes, this is true.

            And yes, I count all the women I call friends as part of my own “circle”. You may not like them — fine — but I know them, and I see the good in them even if you don’t. They have all been there for me, and I for them, through trying times, and I feel a lot of gratitude for that.

            And while we are all different and make different choices in our individual lives, I don’t need my friends to be just like me. And they don’t try to make me be like them.

            With regard to selling “vacations with Ali”, I’m not selling vacations with my friends, because I’m not selling “vacations” and generally speaking, my friends aren’t there 🙂 It’s not just about “come vacation with women the way I vacation with my friends”, it’s about developing their own genuine connections with one another, and developing those leadership skills together.

            I hear your perspective, I just wanted to add that there’s more than I think you see. In any case, yes, if we meet sometime we can talk more.

            I understand the fascination, and the reality-TV-ness of it all. I get it. And I really don’t TERRIBLY mind being made fun of (although, yeah, it hurts to see people say shitty things about you on the internet). The part that scares me is the talk of “hating” people, and really, I just want no part of that.

          • Nisha,

            I’m a writer. Some years back I got into attending many conferences, belonged to and hosted a fiction writer’s group, took workshops, did some lit mag editing and spent time in writers’ residencies. I met great people who became permanent friends, made connections, got work done.

            BUT I vividly recall one cocktail party, surrounded by writers, when conversations blurred together. A room full of writers, all taking each other’s classes, writing each other’s residency recommendations, publishing each other’s work, talking about book ideas. Suddenly I was just so bored. It felt like a circle jerk. Like we were only writing for other writers and only publishing our friends. What was the point?

            I get a similar feeling when I see the same circle of coaches/gurus/lifestyle goddesses or what have you all singing each other’s praises speaking at each other’s events, writing client blurbs on each other’s sites. Add some astounding price points coupled with woo-speak about how the next seminar (can’t miss!) will be about the essential planet-shifting magic of charging what you’re worth, rinse, repeat.

            I DO see the value of guided creative retreats and some kinds of coaching. But the saturated niche of coaches coaching coaches, empowering others to empower others to create their own empowering retreats? Ugh.

            As for the “hate,” a couple of things. Part of my income comes from writing luxury nonsense for glossies. Luxury is the key word here. Some of my close friends “hate” fashion and beauty magazines. I think it is absolutely valid to feel “hate” or rage at frivolous baubles for the privileged. You got some “hate” comments aimed at you personally because you present the luxury service you offer as growing from the very center of your being.

            Feminism is a charged topic. The way you write about what you do rubbed a couple people the wrong way. No one is threatening you. No one wished you harm. It may feel more comfortable, in a way, to escalate this situation to “scary” than to simply feel insulted or misunderstood.

            I am just feeling this out. Maybe forming a story of “scary strangers attacking me,” is easier to tell (yourself or others) than, “to some, I come across as phony and self-aggrandizing.”

            Please don’t take the following as sarcastic – it is not. If you find yourself on a scary corner of the internet where strangers are talking about how much they hate you, maybe take a day to process before buying a plane ticket. This sounds obnoxious but I actually mean it the way I would say it to a friend! I have confided in, been advised by, applauded the accomplishments and worried over the crises of the people here for long enough to know that those who said they’d meet you are lovely, smart and definitely not going to hurt you. But damn, girl. Next time a faceless stranger hates and scares you, maybe don’t rush into their arms…

          • Wow! You take a few hours break from the basement and all hell breaks loose…

          • @Dusty, thanks for replying. I’d buy a plane ticket to hear someone out, AND, there’s no way in hell I’d meet in any place other than a very public place. Because you’re right, cozying up with some unidentified “hater” on the internet = crazy.

            I absolutely hear you about the “we serve one another” mentality that happens in the coaching world, and it’s true that some of my clients are coaches. Some also work for NGO’s, some in corporate, and some are entrepreneurs who are not in the coaching field. I get that some coaches only coach coaches, but not all of us.

            thanks

          • I think it is absolutely valid to feel “hate” or rage at frivolous baubles for the privileged.

            Calm down, Kevin!

          • Thanks to those of you who have offered some kindness towards me, I do appreciate it. I also appreciate the honest reflections and questions.

        • I can’t even. Nisha barely mustered an eye roll from me till she came clomping in like a donkey, with her “sincerely curious,” “someone sent me a link,” and “I don’t and won’t read here,” routine. The benefit of doubt I gave her is erased- she’s just like a donkey.
          And everyone who is engaging her is being far kinder than I would ever be. She doesn’t deserve it. We don’t owe it to her. She is the grifty company she keeps. She knows it, deep down; that’s why we’ve been treated to these long winded comments from her. She not only trying to convince us. More importantly, she’s trying to convince herself.
          I’m not a public figure, but I’m sure there are folks in my profession (and it’s an actual profession, not some woo-some scam) who dont care for me. You know what I do? Hint: it isn’t running into their conversations with their friends and braying that if they knew me they’d like me- it’s continuining on with my business and accepting that there isn’t one person alive who is everybody’s cuppa.

          A-Game out.

          • Getting a pass from many people because she’s conventionally pretty with a seemingly genuine, nice smile.

          • I’m with you, she’s just another narcissist–birds of a feather and all that. I don’t hate her, I just think she and her ilk are gross. Comes in here like that douchebag Craig Filek trying to defend their scammy lifestyle, hoping for a chance to win us over. Sorry, not buying what you’re selling.

          • Getting a pass from me because we have friends in common who are lovely and because, there are Fifty Shades of Grift.

            Well-meaning dingbat devotees of magical thinking… opportunistic, wannabe dilettantes… attention addicts with inflated self-esteem…. charismatic con-artists…ex-PUA misogynists in sheep’s clothing with barely repressed rage issues and a desire to control women. Ok yeah, that is all pretty bad. But there are also genuine people who come to coaching after making positive changes in their lives and want to inspire others to do the same while making a very comfortable living.

            I think Nisha sells high-end, luxury good vibes to women who are looking for exactly that and willing to pay for it. And there is a big element of selling friendship in coaching. There had been much discussion lately about emotional labor. Many privileged people demand emotional labor from their personal assistants, hair stylists, employees. Paying a coach is a cleaner transaction. And paying a premium price to get emotional labor done in a beautiful setting doesn’t mean a client is being taken advantage of.

          • @A-game I think Nisha, Julia, Ali, Jena are all conventionally very pretty. But you’re right. Nisha’s smile does look much more genuine. I don’t think noticing that is about giving a pass. I think reading intention in faces and expressions is human instinct and a valuable skill.

            Nisha, I read back and noticed that this thread in particular has a bunch of body snarking. I don’t like it; many of us don’t. More often than not comments like that get criticized. This is a weird thread.

            That said, I don’t think all looks commentary is created equal. Comments like she’s ugly! or eww, her arms! make me cringe. But I think plastic surgery analyses is fair game when it’s about someone who publicly denies fillers after having them done on camera in a documentary.

          • Dusty, I’m kinda with you on this. I don’t think that Nisha needs to have the skills and training of a psychotherapist to be an effective facilitator of women’s groups, such as they are. I don’t think the women who sign up for her groups are necessarily weak, vulnerable, or easily duped. Maybe it’s “fake sisterhood” but maybe it’s just another way to network and meet like-minded people and build a support system, I don’t know. I haven’t delved deeply into her website.

            She also doesn’t give me a Donkey-ish or Filek-y vibe, but that’s just me. She seems intelligent and thoughtful and open minded, but we (I) were fooled by Filek’s “I’m just here to have an intelligent conversation” before.

            I don’t *think* I give her a pass because she’s pretty– I’m a woman and beauty isn’t currency with me. I think Jena is really pretty but I don’t give her a pass on everything.

            At any rate, N. runs a business and offers something for sale. Donk doesn’t even lift a finger to do any sort of work, yet still tries to brand herself as a thought leader, journalist, or whatever her current identity is. Donk offers zero, zilch, nada, yet wants all the glory and admiration that come with actual accomplishments. I might have some respect for A Donkey is she were a genuine person who said “I’m blessed to have some family money, so I don’t have to work” or “My bills aren’t going to pay themselves, so I’m working as a receptionist at a yoga studio.” Instead she puts all her effort into this elaborately crafted fake persona. At age 35.

          • @Tingo, this is the question that I’ve been asking for a couple of years: Why do the woo women put up with Donkey when she brings nothing to the table? We may poke fun at Shanti’s money map or Jena’s keys to eternal hedonism, but these women are actually doing something, engaged in some form of labor, whereas Donk mentions doing something – coaching creatives, for example – but nothing ever pans out. Don’t they get tired of all the hot air, all the B.S.?

          • I don’t know, bc all my friends are normal (or delightfully offbeat but basically sane.) There’s a good-hearted but kooky and dysfunctional nut from high school who’s a Facebook friend, but none of the high school gang engages with her in person. That would explain Billow etc but not current people.

            My guess is that some of them (e.g. Shamti) just have bad judgment and/or low standards; some will accept any sycophant into the fold; and some were fooled by her at first, and now it’s too late because she’s in deep with the tribe. Also, book. She was going to devote chapters to various epic friends, IIRC.

            But what does she say when the discussions turn to work, careers, goals, etc? How does she spin the unemployment? Even dirt DJs have places to go and things to do. Even Rainbow Doug Henning has fire to twirl.

          • She’s a professional victim, manipulating facts (if this place is scary, then the real world should terrify her), but that’s the point she lives in her own world and claims “haters” whenever anyone holds her accountable, like overlooking the horrid actions of her friends.

          • It wasn’t only directed at everyone here that she gets a pass because she’s attractive- I meant it in general. People may (can’t say with certainty Bc I don’t know how successful her ‘business’ truly is) be more willing to buy what she sells because she doesn’t look dusty, is basically well- groomed, and even her burning man attire is cute on the conventional festival-wear spectrum.

            That could be who she ~*authentically*~ is, or it could be a ploy to reel in rubes. I think I know how I interpret it, but don’t blame other cat ladies if they interpret it differently.

          • I get called shitty things, to my face, all the time. Pretty much daily. Usually by teenagers. Today one told me she was going to “beat that bitches ass” for the way said ‘bitch’ was talking to me yesterday. I told her the same thing I tell all my students:

            Some people don’t like you. It’s not worth letting them ruin your day. Shrug it off and move on rather than giving them the power to do that.

            You give life advice for a living. So do I. You can have that one for free, sweetcheeks.

          • Here’s the thing (heh). If Nisha was doing her thing and was not associated with the likes of the Camp Mystic crowd, I would not judge her. It’s that every one of those folks has a scam going and on top of that they are all log rolling for each other. I can’t help but lump her in with her peers.

          • I’m with cakez on this one. Why does nisha care what any one of us thinks? She should really focus more energy on being all out of f*cks to give.

        • Nisha –

          On the offchance you’re still here, I’ll briefly respond to a question you asked. I don’t know you, JA, or anyone here. I come here because persistently annoyed at the following conversation:

          Goddess: Hey, world! Look at my work!
          Responder 1: You are so awesome!
          Goddess: Thanks!
          Responder 2: You are not awesome.
          Goddess: How dare you judge me! I don’t judge people I don’t know – why do you? Why are you so hateful?! I actually feel sorry for you that you’re such a mean person that you hide behind your computer blah blah blah.

          Both people are judging Goddess, but she only objects to one. Why do you think that is? Might Goddess’s objection would be better stated as “how dare you – how dare anybody – judge me NEGATIVELY”?

          I object to anyone, male or female, who shares gobs of information about themselves and expects all reactions from all people all the time to be positive. If you claim to expect a world in which everybody praises you all the time you’re either disingenuous or five years old.

          • @Epictetus I completely respect this, and you are bang-on that there’s a rampant shitshow of “Look at me, I’m so amazing! …but any critique of me is more about me than you.”

            It’s ridiculous, and yes, no one is going to be universally liked.

            I honestly wouldn’t have commented here unless I wanted to understand what it is that’s so loathesome to you all. And yeah, hearing what people don’t like about you or the people you know can feel shitty, but I really did want to understand. And I feel like I have a better sense now.

            The reason I’ve brought up it seeming “hateful” a few times, is because some people have actually said “I hate her”, which is different than “I hate her work because XYZ”. The other reason is because I’ve noticed that some folks comment on people’s appearance in a way that I find, frankly, disgusting.

            So, honest and reflective feedback? I’ve been curious to hear it, even when I don’t like or agree what I’ve heard. That’s why I came here. I think it’s good to understand why the people who criticize you do, as a chance to look in the mirror and ask the hard questions: Are they right? Do I agree, even if I don’t like it? What can I change?

            But things like:
            – “I hate you”
            – Twisting my responses to make it out that I said/meant something I didn’t say or mean
            – Bizarre assumptions like: “She’s going off the rails because she wants a bebe and no one is willing to go in on one with her. Noodles too. Both examples of the immense hit a beautiful woman’s self esteem takes when she sees other “lesser” women happily starting families.” (um, “lesser” women?!, and my reproductive choices are honestly no one’s business)
            – And assertions like: “I imagine some of those ‘friends’ would stop paying for your workshops if you did call out their behaviour, which is why you don’t judge them at all.” (None of the people you talk about here have ever attended let alone paid for my workshops)
            – The nasty comments some folks here make about women’s bodies

            These things aren’t actually constructive, and seem like somewhat of a dead-end for me, so I see no point in engaging.

            In any case, thanks for answering my question, and I am actually really grateful to those folks here who did offer honest feedback and asked questions with an open-mind.

          • I really do have a life and a full-time job!! I just happen to be getting a pedi at the moment. I*try* not to body snark here– and I don’t do it in “real life”– but I have made bowleg comments. Guilty as charged. BUT… comments about said legs are usually in response to some crazy contorted pose. Comments about fingers are in response to said fingers pointing at self help books that are underlined in purple glitter pen. It’s not just some random “Have you guys seen Julia’s friend Susie Q’s boobs? Eeew! And her friend Jane Doe’s nose? Awful!”

            If my friend’s dad had hair like Donald Trump’s, I wouldn’t even mention it. But that hair on an asshole? I can’t help myself.

          • @Nisha – Dunno if you’re still reading. Although I respect the spirit of your reply I still think you’re being disingenuous and/or unrealistic.

            You say that your reproductive choices are nobody’s business. That’s true IF YOU CHOOSE TO LEAD A PRIVATE LIFE. But if you go around saying “hey everybody pay attention pay attention pay attention…oh, wait – don’t pay attention to THAT part of my life”, that just won’t work. Either people are not interested in you (in which case you’re unhappy) or they’re interested in you (in which case you’re unhappy because they ask questions about how you live your life). If Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Aniston choose a life in the spotlight, they choose everything that goes with it, including nosy questions about having kids. They’re perfectly free to fire their agents and publicists, stop giving interviews, stop acting, and say “thanks everybody, it’s been great, but I want my privacy back.” But they choose not to.

            As do you. Own your choice and all its consequences, good and bad.

          • Nisha, I am surprised that my comments about you and Jena wanting to have kids hit such a nerve. I appreciate that a woman’s reproductive choices are deeply personal. But Jena and you have both spoken publicly about wanting kids. Jena does it all the time; you are a little more reserved. But there’s still that narcissistic double standard of saying it’s fair for you to talk about it but unfair for others to judge you for it.

            Anyway, I don’t think my comments are judgment so much as constructive criticism from an outside observer who has also felt the ticking of her biological clock and had trouble dating a bunch of men-children in her 30s. Now that I’m older and have kids, all that is behind me. Still I recognize the dynamic well. Someday you will too, but for now you both seem to be stuck in unhealthy patterns.

          • Fell through. We need to plan something more formally, otherwise it’s just me and KS hanging out. Which I am fine with, because he’s the peanut butter to my jelly, but we already hangout anyway.

            I totally think we should meet up at PoFA. I have two onesies, batman footie pajamas, and lots of stupid blinkie things. I have a hoola hoop somewhere, too. It will be good times.

          • I’d be wary of Hopkin! S/he has woo connections and I’m not convinced isn’t a plant.

          • Oh, the onsies were Halloween costumes that I now make my go-to lazy costume for school. I don’t run around in the wild with them on.

            I MIGHT put them on sometimes at home when I am being a big sulky brat. Maybe. They’re heavy felt and ridiculously hot, though, so I don’t know how anyone just romps around in them like it’s a thing you do.

    • Nisha: “It wasn’t Julia who sent me the link (pretty certain she hasn’t seen anything on the site for years now)…”

      Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha…

      • Oh god that was so funny. Nisha, if you are reading, Julia reads everything about herself, all the time.

        • For someone extolling the virtues of sisterhood and who has bonded so tightly with her fellow goddesses, Nisha seems to know precious little about them.

          • That is such a good point. Never heard of Marc Gafni, thinks Jules never reads here, admires Ali Shanti as a super successful entrepreneur…I don’t think Nisha is very curious about the people in her life.

          • I find it odd she says she doesn’t know the stuff about her friends, but of meeting Moroccanwear, wants her name and info, saying she would never meet someone without Googling them first.

            Nisha, my request to you would be to Google your friends and educate yourself about them. Winchester provided a link above to her Killing My Career website with info about Ali. Maybe start there?

            You are the company you keep and it isn’t being a true friend if you don’t sometimes point out if your friend is being a dick. But, as Dusty (?) said above, a lot of coaching is about selling friendship. I imagine some of those ‘friends’ would stop paying for your workshops if you did call out their behaviour, which is why you don’t judge them at all. And fine, if you want to do that, well, it’s your life/business. But it’s not real friendship or sisterhood (especially when money is involved) and maybe acknowledge that to yourself and accept that others may view that as phony and inauthentic.

          • JFAing to add I also find it disingenuous not to respond to many of the comments that asked the harder questions. Initially she challenged Shameless to explain her statements and said she was genuinely curious, but then said she wouldn’t engage because it was “hateful” . Just because someone says they “hate” someone or something doesn’t mean their comments are necessarily hateful or disrespectful. It came across to me as a way of deflecting and avoiding. Why come in here, challenge people about their statements but then refuse to really answer, on the premise of them being “hateful” and “scary”. Why do you need to fly somewhere to meet in person? Why are these comments online not valid?

            I don’t feel Nisha is as scammy as Donk, Ali et al but I can’t help but wonder if coming in here was in part incase a client or potential client Googles Nisha and finds these comments. It would be a good way for Nisha to say she tried to engage with us and sincerely answer the questions, all the while avoiding addressing the harder ones because they were from the ‘haterz’ who are mean and scary.

            Sorry for the tl;dr and rambling. It’s still earlyish over here and this should have been more concise.

          • Thanks so much, Nosferatu-tu, for this really eloquent reply. You put it much better than I could.

            I did try to answer Nisha’s questions and to explain exactly what it was about her and her “work” that I find problematic and I thought that – despite my initial comment – I did that in a perfectly ordinary and, if you will, respectful i.e. non-aggressive way.

            I noticed and pointed out that she did a great job at *not* answering any of the key points I and several others made.

            I guess it just confirmed to me that it’s all bullshit. Nisha seems more together than many of her goddess colleagues, but in the end it’s just all woo nonsense in my opinion.

      • I suspect the link was sent from either Jenna or Ali both of which I can see being extremely jealous of Nisha due to her previous benefactor/boyfriend.
        But agree it’s laughable that she’d think Julia doesn’t read here all day every day, what the fuck else does she have to do? Or any of them for that matter? Jenna trying to figure out a new insurance scam? Ali trying to rip off mentally challenged clients, again?

  9. I think I had sparkles of sunshine in my coffee because I am going to be nice and share that I am completely jealous of JLF’s complexion. Her skin is so pretty.
    She also seems to be going off the rails. Constant oversharing, humblebrag on hat building, weird ramblings about sexuality and dance. Hashtag diarrhea.

  10. 1. Did Jena really hashtag HER OWN NAME?

    2. When Nisha writes “Through connecting with each other, everything softened into love, and we connected more deeply to ourselves,” does she mean she was touching herself at this point?

    3. As others have said, not everyone (particularly a teenager looking for life/work experience) needs or wants to be an entrepreneur. Some people find it fulfilling to work for others, and it’s not always selling out to The Man.

    • RE: #3 — Riiiiight?

      a] Go to work = leave personal-life drama & ego at the fkn door
      b] Leave work = leave work-life headaches where they belong

      It’s called balance — kids need to learn how to compartmentalize.

      Ali is dreading the moments when baby girl & baby boy learn that it is not an ALL ALI, ALL THE TIME show out there in the real world.

      Kudos to baby girl for already thinking cost-of-living & escape plan.

      • YES, #3.

        I tire of the number of people who seem to think starting your own company is the way to go (particularly if you live in a region with no jobs).

  11. I have encountered people whose addicted parents took their money when they had summer or part time jobs. These parents “borrowed” their kids’ hard earned cash and spent it in their addictions. There was even something on The Atlantic last month about a guy who grew up with such a father and how abusive that was. This is mere speculation but given all we know about Shantitown, would anyone be surprised if she did that to her daughter? Also, her insistence that the daughter becomes a grifter like mom reeks of a similar scheme: have the daughter make $$ that the Skanky one can then get her grubby hands on.

    Nothing immoral would surprise me.

    • I had a boyfriend whose mom did that. She had him send all his navy paychecks home so he’d have a nice nest egg when his tour of duty was over. Instead, he came home to an empty bank account and a mom with a coke habit who was screwing one of his high school buddies.

    • I also had a bf in high school whose mother took his cash from bussing tables and spent it on drugs. It was horrible. She told him he didn’t have enough money to open a bank account and he needed her to cash his checks…wtf!

    • Who is that strange woman who’s wearing clothing that fits and isn’t leaping ungracefully into the air?

      • Why, that’s Air Force Captain Renee Swift McCain, a woman with one helluva impressive career, certainly more impressive than an existence that consists of hounding balding DJs when they no longer want to bang you.

    • When is Donkey going to leap into the comments with “I 100% agree, Jack!”?

      • Yeah, he’s a lucky guy. RSMc seems very intelligent and is quite accomplished; such a far cry from a Donkey.

        His family probably never thinks of Julia, but I wonder if now and then Cindy muses, “What was the name of that dreadful girl, the one we had to forcibly remove from my Coronado condo? Jill something or other?”

  12. “I was really resistant to the idea of my kid getting a job.”

    I cannot believe someone actually wrote this.

    • Agree. The only way I can see a parent resistant to that is if they want their kid to focus on school. Ali wants her kid out of school, so the only possible explanation is that she is trying to crush any tendril of her daughter’s independence.

  13. JULIA ALLISON IS FEELING BESIEGED!
    Repeat: JULIA ALLISON IS FEELING BESIEGED

    Whoa is me …

    • Seriously? “Beginning the daily conversation from a point of view of freedom and being untethered, allows us to re-see ourselves, to re-enter the world as if allowed to see it as if for the first time. ”

      No wonder bish be so cray. She’s spent every day of her adult life re-seeing herself and re-entering the world as if for the first time.

      • Posted for the benefit of any / all Baugher’s currently giving Donk shit over her non-productive existence & her leeching of her ‘rent$ ne$t egg — poor Mulia Mallison, just so fucking misunderstood by her own family of origin — fucking mid-western hicks, she would not even deign to grace their OMG!DC if only she wasn’t acutely & momentarily beseiged until the foreseeable future.

    • 4 hours and only 2 likes. Seems her ‘friends’ aren’t on the same page. (Or, like me, couldn’t be arsed reading the drivel.)

  14. good on pancakes. i went to school with that old navy model.
    he was kind of a dick. *shrug* thats all.

  15. taking advantage of unhappy people by promising them happiness

    it’s a very old con

  16. It looks like JA’s Bette Midler serenade to Rain is gone. It’s no longer on his FB wall. What ever happened to NEVER breaking up?!

  17. Blah blah whether this is Nosha or not I am not drinking the kool aid. Be authentic the more you say you are the more you are proving that you are not. Keep it real everyone.

    • I have to say I am amazed to see how many of my beloved fellow catladies seem to know who this person is and have complex opinions on whatever it is she does (or pretends to do). I know I’ve seen her name before, but I just have no idea. I mean I knew I didn’t pay much attention to any of the non-Donk characters (I once described myself as a Donkey Fundamentalist), but I didn’t realize how completely out of the loop I was in some regards. So this has been fun in an exotic way for me.

      xoxo, basement-dwella4lyf, with softness

      P. S. I have reported all of you.

    • I looked at her website (first hit on Google) and she seems very fake to me.

      Granted, the production values of those videos and the quality of the website are far superior to SK3B’s, and that probably indicates she does not live in a house with plywood-covered floors, i.e. she is a more successful grifter, but the whole place reeks of grift nonetheless.

      • A clever way of crafting a “business” so you can take free/low cost vacations to exotic locales several times a year and stay in indulgent facilities. Buy 12, get one free. Tax deductible. Someone has been reading a signed copy of the five hour workweek.

  18. Dear @Nisha,

    I am not sure if you will ever see this BUT — could you please ask JA — what is happening with her BOOK?

    Is there a book? Did she EVER make her first deadline? Will she have to return her advance $$$? By my rough estimation, she is about three years past her deadline.

    In case you are wondering, there are several (several) well known published authors and journalists (and would-be writers who would kill for a book deal)… and JA’s mucking around drives some of us insane.

    Thanks.

    Also (while I have you) why do so many of the woos speak/write in such wordy unintelligible sentences? It’s like you make up these crazy words and phrases and sentences, and so many of us are left scratching our heads, like: “WHAT?”

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