Jess Johnson, Julia Allison’s BFF, Celebrates “Bro” Culture, Changes “The Course of History”

Sex-obsessed Roxanne DePalma strips for all the boys.

The Caterwauler threw a “Garden of Eden” woo shindig and all the boys came, as it were, so to speak.

Adelle Juliet, Cory Tanner Glazier’s piece, “letting go of her identity so she could BEcome Kali.”

Ecstatic re: this earth shattering celebration of womanhood, Jess gives endless and aya-influenced thanks:

Sometimes we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a moment in time that WE KNOW is changing the course of history. This past weekend was one of those extended moments, and while my words cannot to justice to what I saw, heard, felt and experienced, I can’t go another moment with out expressing my profound gratitude and AWE.

So here goes….

I bow to the tribe who united and took a stand for each other in a myriad of ways…through laughter, tears, bearing witness, giving permission, offering support, seeing each others’ greatness.

I bow to the Goddess who rose in us all…and in particular to the way she moved through each woman who took the stage this weekend. In her body, in her power open, available and willing to bring the formless into form.

I bow to the Heartists‬ on every side of the stage who showed up on Saturday night in pure devotion to our collective awakening, and stood present in each moment to drink up the transmissions that were being offered…”over and over” again.

I bow to the Goddess Herself, who revealed her many faces and who is making it known that it is time to listen to Her voice in a whole new way, and I vow to play my part in allowing, embracing and creating the path for that to happen for us all.

I bow to this Earth who has had enough of how it has been, and is now asking us, as her children to be clear voices and pure channels for her love.

I bow to the moment that an entire community stood up and said yes to tangibly supporting my art, my heART and my service to this life…and to the brothers who have been standing for me in this way for a long time.

I dance to the beat of your heart loving life through me.

I am a woman who has forever been changed…and I bow to every being, whether you were with me this weekend or not, who has been courageously HURLING themselves out of their comfort zones and off of the cliff of their previous realities in one way or another….it is so fun soaring through the mystery with you! I fucking adore you, and it is a pleasure doing is-ness with you.

Thank you so much, Jess – goddess, heartist, feminist, isist – for changing the course of herhistory. We’re wanted back on planet earth now.

117 COMMENTS

  1. I have never thought I would find myself on the same side of an issue as Hindu extremist groups like the Bajrang Dal, but here I am wanting to go over to Duckface’s house for a spot of iconoclasm. Jeez Louise, girl, you are grossing everyone out with your grossness.

  2. Jess: SHUT UP. Also, your face is stupid.

    A young, thin, white woman took off her top and it empowered All The World. There is peace in Syria; ISIS had disbanded; AIDS has been cured; Trump supporters have declared “CWAA”; no child goes hungry; and old, fat, grey-haired women are revered for their wisdom and experience.

  3. I thought this was awful and then I read Ariel White’s latest post. These people are such assholes.

    ***************
    Ariel White with Julia Allison and 45 others.
    20 hrs ·
    I am simultaneously a very open and a very private person. If someone asks about something personal to me, I generally tell.
    Other than that, in a public forum, I simply share inspiration as it arises. Inspiration that may point to the mystery of my personal Life, but generally not a direct sharing of the ins and outs, the who’s and what’s, the where’s and when’s… It’s just this way for me. There’s no particular philosophy or strategy in how I share in public forums (live events, larger group dynamics, social media, etc), I just trust myself and my natural expression as it arises.
    Right now I want to share something personal. It’s a reflection, in real time, of sorts as I write.
    Here goes:
    You may or may not know that Jess Johnson and I shared a wild sacred epic mystical Wifeship. Yes. We are known as the Shes (from legends of lore and atavistic dimensions of the future,), and for a good few years we were actively living our day to day lives together, as life partners, using the very real title to us, of WIFE for each other.
    And while we will always be The She’s, our relationship went through a rebirth last Summer, as Jess went on to global tour mode and I grounded more deeply into home nest space, where our day to day life of wifeship changed forms… The title of “Wife” fell away to reflect the next evolution of our sacred dance together and individually. Back to the basics… We went back to the mystical, mysterious, multiversal flow of our soul love without any titles, restraints, or expectations in day-to-day partnership and domestic life.
    While the people closest to us know this, I never thought to share this (or what I’m about to share), in a public forum until this moment…
    A few months ago I received a some messages from people I don’t know in physical life, but who clearly feel a kinship through social media. They were confused, they wanted to know… “Where is your Wife?” “Don’t you have a wife? Wait do you have a man partner too?”
    I sometimes responded, very simply… Mostly feeling curious that folks were so curious about my personal relationships. And really, this wasn’t new…
    In the peak of our Wifeship, Jess and I were slightly tickled by the notion that people couldn’t quite “figure us out.” We received messages, questions, sometimes direct assumptions based on the perceptions people had upon seeing our art, our relationship, our intimacy, and our very real love for each other. When anyone every asked us directly, we always told them with as much detail as they wanted. Neither of us are very shy, as it were… A mystery until asked, I suppose. People nearly always assumed we were physical Lovers. And were generally quite shocked that we were not (haha, you may be shocked in this very moment to discover that our Wifeship was never based on a physical, sexual dimension of Love.)
    Very recently a friend said to me, “Look, you may not be ‘Wives’ anymore, but people still see you that way, and I think it was out of integrity for you two to call yourselves Wives to begin with because it made people assume you were sexual with each other… And you weren’t… So that was out of integrity because it was confusing people, led them to believe one thing, while something else was actually going on.”
    There’s A LOT I could say in response to that, but I will stick with the truth of how (I believe) Jess and I saw it…
    For us, we claimed the title of Wife because it was very much true for us.
    We claimed each other as wives because we were building life together. We were each other’s primary relationship. We bought land together, we grieved together, we celebrated life together, we shared dream space together, we snuggled, we bathed, we communed in nature, we shared the deepest levels of intimacy we could share with each other, we made Love to each other through our art and contribution, we impregnated each other with vision, and birthed songs together in harmony.
    We also claimed the title of Wife as a FUCK YOU (She would come up with more elegant languaging), to the Patriarchy and any external structure that wants to control women and how all humans choose to Love each other. We thought (and frankly I still think), that it was really our own business re: who we were sleeping with… We didn’t really care if people assumed we were physical Lovers, because we were Lovers in every other sense of the term. And anyway, many many people don’t sleep with their Wives, so we felt quite normal in that regard (bad joke?). We also realized that by being Wives we would create a powerful, very effective filtration system for the men we attracted into our Lives to partner with.
    We couldn’t have been more right about this. I have zero doubt that my Love for Jess, in a very real way, helped to invite in my Man partner, the man I want to spend my Life with, my Epic Sacred Lover. And after he and I had our first deep dive weekend of Lovership, I told him (he already knew of Jess of course), “I hope you realize that I really do have a Wife. And if you are devoted to me, you are devoted to her…” Had he not been my man? He would have run away screaming wink emoticon
    I’m sure this created even more interesting pathways for fantasy for others… “Oh, so they are all Lovers?” He and she were (and are), deep family to each other. Deep, intimate, connected family (no, they never fornicated). She was a medicine woman for our relationship. They nurtured each other in ways only deep brother-sister bonds between grown men and woman can. She provided nutrients to him and our connection that I, as his Lover, simply could not. He held deep presence for her as she called in Beloveds to dance with. She and I fueled each other in ways he and I never could have. We shared a beautiful home together. We created a hub for creators and global contributors to come together in Beauty.
    It was the beginning of our own little villages, where wombs are united and the nuclear family is obsolete.
    And I still firmly believe in creating a Life where the nuclear family is obsolete. And in case you hadn’t figured it out, I’m pretty bored by the drama of trying to figure out who is fucking who… I want to know how are we FULLY LOVING, fearlessly, in full integrity with our own nature, with Beloveds who can meet us, co-evolve us, join us in joyous creation, and reflect the ever-opening depths of our purest gifts back to us in each moment…
    I say the metric of success in a relationship is DEPTH not duration… AND – each of us is limitless, boundless, infinitely deep… So, it therefore follows; if we keep showing up moment to moment, going deeper, there’s no reason a great Love doesn’t have the potential to last a lifetime.
    I dedicate this letter to my most glorious, radiant, brilliant, beautiful She, Jess Johnson… And to all the allies, friends, beloveds, guides, and guardians who have always celebrated our Love and each of us in our various incarnations.
    May each of us celebrate Love in it’s purest form, being inspired to continue excavating and transforming anything that would prevent us from claiming Life by Loving fearlessly and fully with ALL of ourselves.
    ‪#‎LoversGottaLove‬… heart emoticon heart emoticon heart emoticon
    ************

    • “Dead Russian Hooker #2” could have explained the wackaloon transition from “wifeship” to “the shes” in less than 1/3 of this drivel. Her prose is as horrible as Donkey’s or Ali Shanti’s. On & on & on. Is godawful writing a woo trait? Too much aya or the hallucinogen of the day?

    • So it was those two who coined the term “wife”? That’s fascinating. Take that, Patriarchy!!!

        • I am not sure if I am a true member of The Patriarchy – I may need to peruse many examples of this to see if it makes me barf. Suspected barf-inducing recommendations are welcome.

    • Ariel? The Patriarchy doesn’t care. Nobody does.

      “We also realized that by being Wives we would create a powerful, very effective filtration system for the men we attracted into our Lives to partner with.” = We love playing mind games with guys. We love to appropriate language that hints that we’re bisexual in order to anger/titillate The Man, because we’re privileged white poseurs who are playing at being rebellious.

      • I’m feeling insecure because my boyfriend is so drop dead gorgeous. We’re talking male model material, and I sometimes feel as though I can’t possibly compete with his radiance. Is that silly?

        • Yes, we shall call you Silly Gilly the Radiant Goddess now. And you have to do some Kali poses.

    • Huh, my sister and her best friend from college listed each other as “partner” on Facebook. When anyone asked about it, they would say, “It’s a joke, but, really, we feel more like partners to each other than we ever had with any boyfriend.” Short and to the point.

      Also, Ariel doesn’t really understand what a joke is, does she? First requirement of a joke is that it should be funny.

      • First requirement of woo membership is no sense of humor or irony. Exhibit A: Jena la Flamme.

    • oh for fuck’s sake. That’s all I’ve got about any of this blatherspew.

    • “You may or may not know that Jess Johnson and I shared a wild sacred epic mystical Wifeship.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

      • THISSSSSS! I would be an EPIC, JUICY wife, free of my UMC Midwestern white-bread upbringing. Call me, Rain!

    • “We thought (and frankly I still think), that it was really our own business re: who we were sleeping with… ”

      So let me go on and on for paragraphs about the details of our relationship, because IT’S NOBODY’S BUSINESS.

      • That disclaimer reminded me of Jodie Foster receiving the Lifetime Achievement Golden Globe, during which she went on and on about her “privacy” while repeatedly pointing to her two sons.

    • “with out” going on… she dump she is what I’m discerning from perusing the drivel

    • are you friends with her or did she take it down or make it private? God, what a self-absorbed twit she is.

    • OMG. No wonder she is always naked. How else could anyone stand to be around that mouth? I glazed over and started skimming about 1/3 of the way. Are these 900 words really summarized by: “Dear men, I have a female BFF and just to titillate and confuse you, I call her my wife. Yay, us!”

      Ariel, get over yourself.

  4. So, a thin conventionally beautiful woman took off her top while a bunch of guys (and a couple girls who wanted to impress said guys) hooted and hollered? Not something you could see at any fraternity house on any random Saturday night AT. ALL.

    So liberated. Much spiritual.

  5. You can be slutty without having to go through all of this, Jess. Plenty of people do it!

    • What’s wrong with just using tinder/bumble/okc like a normal person? I guess it’s not narcissistic enough?

    • Right? Just have sex with the people you want to have sex with. As long as your being responsible, getting complete consent from an of-age partner before you doff your clothes and using protection there is no need to be so weird about it.

  6. Let’s all be glad that Adelle Juliet didn’t do Kali in black (or blue) face. #smallfavors #babysteps #unpleasureableappropriation

  7. Honestly I stoped half way she is uterrely boring, dumb girl please get the point. No one cares who or what you do. You are both entitled narcissistic assholes, who play dungeons and masters with no real substance but to scam other idiots who also think they are goddesses.
    the end.

  8. Julia yesterday…bro culture, “you should be ashamed”.
    Julia today… Jess demonstrates how a woman invites bro culture….”damnnnn!”
    Pick a lane donkass.

  9. Damnnnn, after commenting on Adelle Juliet’s fabulous tit-ays, Donkey posted a shill for Cory Tanner Glazier – FREE Medimeals! – that has so far received a whopping two thumbs up, one from Wali Rahman’s stealth account, W.r. Khan.

    Thith ith thucctheth!

  10. Was just listening to Dan Lyons on Fresh Air (he wrote Disrupted: My Year in Startup Hell,’ and writes on Silicon Valley – 2 things he said…. one, that the more talk and buzzwords from people saying they are changing the world, they less they are doing. And how a lot of startup culture is steeped in woo talk he likened to Scientology speak. It was really interesting.

  11. I’ve lost track of these chicks.

    Is man hands in the bottom photo the same person who appears to have a stick stuck out of her bum in the top photo?

    • I don’t believe so. I think that “stick” is her shiny boot. And I hadn’t noticed until zooming in, but it looks like whoever it is, is also topless.

    • Who cares?

      THE COURSE OF FUCKING HISTORY CHANGED this week and you are wondering whose photo it is?

      PS: Oh, the delusion, it burns.

    • The bottom photo appears right after a quote from Julia’s BFF, Jess Johnson, so it’s obviously Jess Johnson. The top photo showcases a woo gregess named Roxanne DePalma, a goofball that I’d not encountered before but apparently was really skanking it up for Jess’ brofest. The caterwauler has captioned the fauxto of Roxy:

      “The Goddess expressing the energy of the sacred slut through Roxanne DePalma. Unforgettable.”

  12. Where do people think this event took place? ctg and his gf live in start a Barbara now. just is in San Francisco. I’m still trying to figure out where donkey’s stall is. If she was anywhere nearby this she would have been there wanting to attention-whore it up on stage.

    Why does she have to keep couching things in such a way that throws shade at her parents? Physical fitness instead of holing up in the library (and wtf happened to all those years of ballet chauffeured by NGMB in her big black Cadillac?) and now she wishes she had learned to plant a food garden. FFS, Donkey, it is called lifetime learning. Just because you weren’t taught to do something as a kid doesn’t mean you can’t still keep learning. Buy a copy of square foot gardening and STFU.

  13. This is a half-baked thought, so please excuse my syntax and choir-preaching, but it’s like: if someone had never met an old-school hippie before, these people might be a convincing simulacrum of a hippie. If I’d read Jahss’s screed in the wild and thought she was talking about women figuring out their *actual* power as independent, complete actors in life who are not desperate for partners to fill voids in themselves and who have full reproductive control/understanding, that would read as naive but kind of charming in an “aw, baby’s first” way; I’d assume she meant well. Like an earnest new college student heard Gloria Steinem speak or stumbled into Planned Parenthood and had some kind of spiritual awakening there.
    The spell breaks when you see the pictures and realize she isn’t talking about women’s power to be fully realized human beings with control over their personal lives, she is talking about women’s power to fuck, because that’s all her dogma thinks women are good for. It’s a strip club for God(ess)/Greg/Gaia/Kali (ffs).
    Also she keeps droning on and on about it, and it will never stop. If women of this dogma procreate, they just move to droning about their littles and the sacred goddess moving through their yonis etc.; if they get older and start feeling desperate because their only dogma-given power is fading, they begin frantically spinning new-age prosperity gospel horse shit to justify clinging to a half-assed shill while banging foolish cougar prey who don’t know better/don’t care. They mysteriously seem to drop off the precipice after that, however, so we don’t know exactly what happens to them when they stop being DTF 24/7/365.
    As someone who believes women have a greater worth than as objects for fucking, I’ll pass.

  14. Julia must be writhing in jealousy. Corey Tanner Glazier has posted an appeal – a financial appeal – for people to support Jess. The post is great, but the accompanying video is even better. Here some choice extracts:

    “This video is going out to everyone who’s been impacted by Jess and her magic…

    I’m going to get straight to the point and ask you to do something that I believe is our destiny to do…

    Jess is an incredible musician and leader and visionary and her life is one experience after another, strung together…

    She’s taken one risk after another, many of them financial risks, to be fully dedicated to her mission of music and freedom of expression service to humanity…

    I don’t think it’s very difficult for any of us to fast forward 30 years and see the incredible impact that’s been made planet-wide by Jess being fully unleashed to focus full-time with resource and with a deep sense of stability in continuing to innovate and give her gifts and weave a very beautiful transformational tapestry across the planet…

    What I’d love for us to do as a community is to rally together to create a financial baseline so she focus full-time on giving her gifts without some of the distracting concerns of figuring out how to make ends meet, in this particular moment when the world is asking her to focus on figuring out how to best give her gifts to all the planet…

    You have the opportunity to join myself and others in being a part of creating a financial foundation for Jess to focus on executing and delivering events just like Goddess Rising last night and so many others in cities all across the world, raising consciousness and sewing together a global soul tribe while she does it…

    Adele and I have made a decision to support Jess with $250 every month through her Patreon account…

    I can predict that 30 years from now when Jess had *fundamentally* left her mark on history, leaving the world and future generations a better place, you’re gonna be stoked to know that you were there at the beginning, that you heard the cal…

    If we can create a three or a four or a five thousand dollar base by all of us together…then think about how liberating that will be for her. Think about how we can come in as a divine masculine to support her in her incredible divine feminine flow…

    Click the link, get out the card and put in the number that feels right and true for you so that all of us together can be patrons as we watch Jess go out into the world and wield her magical swords…!

    • Cory: Fuck right off. There are children and old people who need money more than dumb, untalented yet able-bodied layabout Jess does. Jess can get a job at McDonald’s or Starbucks. I’d pay $250 a month if she’d keep her gaping, off-key trap shut.

      These people are unreal in their delusion and entitlement.

      • How dare you!! Her boyfriend is beautiful enough to be a male model, as Jess has told the entire internet, and she created Jeans 4 Justice, whatever the fuck that is, which she never mentions.

        • If she has a boyfriend, why doesn’t he support her financially? That’s the enlightened woo way.

          • Looks like The Caterwauler failed when choosing the masculine. So now we’re supposed to support her?

    • get a job

      the people who have jobs should support people whose circumstances, disabilities, bad luck, illness and misfortune leave them unable to support themselves

      the lazy, entitled, sociopathic woos: nope.

      maybe possibly if they finally said they’re mentally ill and can’t cope with life, in which case, treatment, not more dirt festivals and exhibitionism

    • “She’s taken one risk after another, many of them financial risks, to be fully dedicated to her mission of music and freedom of expression service to humanity,” THIS is a hobby unless you can support yourself. And it’s not a risk if you’re asking everyone else to pick up your slack without any structure of repayment in place. Donate to a someone’s hobby so they can pretend that it’s a job is NOT a business plan.

    • Fuck Cory Tanner Glazier and his enabling of this talent-free asshole.

      Fameless, where did you see this? I can’t seem to locate the post.

      • It’s the third post from the top on CTG’s Facebook page. The text is my transcript of the video. The post is from April 3rd. It begins:

        MESSAGE & ASK FOR HELP IN PARTICIPATING IN THE GLOBAL MISSION OF OUR VERY OWN ** JESS MAGIC **

        And goes on with:


        This is not only an investment in Jess, it’s an investment in the future.
        The more we support consciousness-expanding art, the more beautiful your life and our world will become.”

      • Donk must be seething that she didn’t think of grifting her friends for thousands per month, in addition to living off her father. An investment in Donk.

    • is this for reals, wow. WTF? what gift the gift of a scammer. She lives in SF how does she pay rent, maintain a living every other week is on vacation talking nosense to other idiots about her magic AKA scam. Now she has people helping her, omg there are people who are unable to make it working two jobs this stank useless of a so called human is getting help with her pretend life of dungeons and dragons. Really, this preturbs me.

      • I’m the biggest go-fund-me sucker on the planet–one-eyed kitten in need of surgery, donated; some dead kid’s family can’t pay for his funeral, here ya go … But this? Not with my worst enemy’s checkbook.

  15. “… her life is one experience after another, strung together…”

    You don’t say.

    • But I also loved:

      “I can predict that 30 years from now when Jess had *fundamentally* left her mark on history, leaving the world and future generations a better place, you’re gonna be stoked to know that you were there at the beginning,”

      • Bro, I’m stoked, nearly as stoked as I was when looking at your girlfriend’s boobs. Can’t wait until Jess’ next hippie keeger! #pleasurablesexism

  16. Every one of these goddamned parties is the same. The women dress up in lingerie and the men dress like Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Farts Club Band, and they get high and grope each other and then pat themselves on the back over how enlightened and world-changing they are.

    • My husband made a “clubhouse” above our garage. It’s completely feels like a middle aged crisis in the form of recreating a dorm room.
      Hanging out here is 1000x better than any of their lame, try too hard parties. I couldn’t hang for 1 minute.

  17. Do is has a post up decrying children and parents who are on “screens” all the time. WTF? Why does she love to talk about things she has no experience with, like children, families, sustainability, etc? I’m assuming she’s posting all her crap from her parents’ condo. Jesus, just go have a burger with the Fat Melman already.

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