Donk Pimps Out Her Old Place

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… which looks so much better without her hideous stuff in it, but wow, parquet floors??!??! Really Donk??? How gauche ….

If you would like to live in my gorgeous former apartment in the Marina … Here it is! $5500 for a 2 bedroom.http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa/5485242403.html

79 COMMENTS

  1. There must be something to this like she’s on the hook until it’s re-rented or something. No one cares about a place they’ve rented once they move out. Plus she only ‘promotes’ something if she’s getting something out of it, like perhaps not getting sued for illegally subletting? I feel so badly for her former landlord especially if he bought into the 130,000 fans in the stands, because fake people don’t buy real products.

    • Another plausible motive is her desire to imply that she has the (independent) means to afford to rent (half of) such an expensive apartment. It legitimizes her claim that she’s an advisor to tech startups, a keynote speaker, a spokesmodel, and a soon-published author. She is not random.

      • Maybe if this were the first time. She’s been a broken record about this apartment. It’s weird and desperate.

        $5500 isn’t that much higher than the median two-bedroom in SF, either. In these parts, “I’m splitting a two-bedroom for $5500” means “I don’t want to live on the outskirts or in the Tenderloin, so I can’t afford a nice place on my own.” It’s a valid choice, but it won’t impress anyone local.

    • In most cases, when you rent an apartment you are contractually obligated to pay rent until the last day of the lease, whether you live on the apartment or not.

      Since there is no chance in hell that any sentient being would rent an apartment to a perpetually unemployed donkey without a guarantor, specially in a booming market like San Fran’s, it’s Dad$ers who is on the hook to the tune of $5.5K / month.

      Now that her illegal AirBNB business came crashing down, the Donkey is scrambling to find a someone who will sublet it.

      • Leases in San Francisco don’t work that way. After the first contracted year, leases go month to month. If she moved out on January 15 and her lease was month to month starting on the 1st, she would have to pay for January 16th-January 31st, but she wouldn’t be on the hook for the next month. Rental laws (including rent control) are much different in the city of SF than any place else I’ve ever lived.

        • Then why do you think she isn’t just leaving the place?

          If she is on a month-to-month lease, a month notice is usually enough.

          • I think she said (when she initially leased it) that it was through a friend. I actually don’t buy the AirBnB eviction theory. I think that she just couldn’t afford the place, even with AirBnb. Also the tech boom means that she is older and less accomplished that the huge influx of 20-something women she thinks she’s competing against, so living in the city started to chafe her ego. “Cute, quirky Julia” begins to look like “Have you seen that weird older lady?” when you’re a 35 year old doing handstands in the Marina and the passersby are 26-year-old Stanford grads with $160,000 per year marketing jobs at Google.

            In that case, she’s certainly not on the hook to advertise her old place, but since her landlord was a “friend” I can see her pulling a Julia and saying “I have 200,000 Facebook followers [in Sri Lanka], want me to post the apartment for you?”

          • My theory (not that you asked) is simply that she can’t let go of anything, however briefly she did it or how tenuously she was involved in it, that she thinks makes her special or gives her [in her twisted brain] status. “My high school debate partner,” “my ex-boyfriend, Devin,” “my lawyer father’s alma mater,” “my column for Elle,” “my editor,” “My ex, Jack– we were VERY serious!” etc. She will own that apartment forever. Why she cares about who lives there after her is because she is mental.

          • “I actually don’t buy the AirBnB eviction theory. ” Well, why else would she be told to leave? She did not leave voluntarily. She posted in November that she and Nehi were told they had to move out. She never would have made that up, there would have been some other more positive excuse she would have made up if it was something else.

            She also was upset after it happened. Why else would the landlord tell her to move out? One possibility was that they thought they could get more rent than just giving them an increase thru rent control. But I think SF has landlord/tenant rules that say you can’t just boot someone out without cause and then charge higher rent. Maybe the owner used AirBnB as an excuse to boot her so they could try for higher rent? The new strict short term rental laws in SF started earlier this year and would have prevented Donkey from renting the place out the way she used to. She would have needed the landlord to jump through some hoops to be approved.

            The owner of that apartment was a friend of Meaghan Marks. She may not have even known Donkey at all before the referral.

            For the landlord to be charging more rent than would have been under the SF rent control laws, she would have had to have been booted for cause. What other causes would there be, other than the illegal subletting and the dog? Maybe blocking the stairway with her boxes of tutus and bike? It had to be something.

          • She may not have even known Donkey at all before the referral.

            It always works out better for Donk when people have no idea who she is. It’s the only way that people won’t immediately run screaming into the night.

          • @grifty Other causes could be sexually harassing her younger male neighbors (aka imaginary fratboys), crimes against good taste (see decor), illegally imprisoning her “roommate”, hosting known griftwoman Ali Scamti, conducting fauxtoshoots without a permit in the Palace of Fine Arts and, of course, being an all around obnoxious DONKEY.

          • AirBNB is not a theory. But I would like clarity on the after first year you go month to month? What if both parties agree to enter into another year long lease? I understand you have to give the option to both parties to go month to month after one year but if they both agree to another year, is that legal?

          • Donkey has an agenda — when Mulia Mallison appoints herself promo ambassador of someone or something, it’s self-serving, as in oftentimes trying to ingratiate herself w/ status markers but sometimes bullshitting Dad$er into believing she has a Coobie Bras Spokesdonkey jerb) — current motive would likely be glaringly transparent if we knew deets on mysteriouth FoaF Landlord.

            Could be that simple. Think about it — under any other circumstances, Donkey Baugher of the Burnt Bridges Baugher’s would have been all over the place, publicly tearing down anyone who caught her red-hoofed in illegal activity & thus inconvenienced her into an inevitable relo.

          • If she keeps the apt. “in the tribe” (barf), she’ll have a place to crash when she visits her Beloved Hometown of San Francisco. Otherwise, she’d have to crowdsource: “I’ll be visiting San Francisco unexpectedly– where’s a good place to stay that’s near yoga and sugary green juice? What are the different neighborhoods like? What are the must-see things? What’s the weather like? Are there any good restaurants that aren’t horrible, evil chains? (WHY do people still go to chain restaurants???!!!)”

          • I worked for someone a few years ago who had to sell her comfy family home due to ridiculous mismanagement of her finances. Anyway, her mom bought the house and she rented from her for awhile, but couldn’t even handle that, so her mom built an apartment in her basement for her family to move into, and put the house on the market. The whole time she was selling it she talked about what kind of person she would be willing to sell it to, as if it even still belonged to her. I have sold several homes and I am basically all,”Okay, Pol Pot might not be an ideal buyer, but what have my neighbor’s done for me lately?”

            Like Julia, she had basically hit rock bottom, and being ridiculously snobby about what type of person she would deign to sell her non-Downton Abbey style suburban home to was the last shred of dignity she could cling to.

          • The Airbnb thing was not conjecture. Her landlord was pissed to discover she used the place as her own hotel and profited from it. That I know for certain.

        • Thanks Gimme Pig! that is so kind! I love you right back.

          I am sure Lah Lee has been making life miserable for others, but I have been busy at work and now have all my children home for a week so I have been neglectful. Sorry. Nose to the grindstone again soon!

          • I had tears in my eyes laughing at siccing Pol Pot on your neighbors.

            And no apologies! Lah Lee just has some fans. My bff and I were just texting each other wondering where she’s been and speculating on what fresh hell she’s been wreaking.

    • I wonder if she damaged the apartment in some way. I’m pretty sure from past evidence that Lilly is not potty-trained, and those floors would be expensive to replace. Didn’t Lilly also use to lick the walls (poor stressed-out baby) at her apt. in NYC? She could have repeatedly licked or scratched some cabinetry.

      Maybe Donk thinks if she gets a new renter to move in, she’ll be off the hook, even temporarily. “Oh, that? You just put a rug down over it and you’ll never even know it’s there!” Total speculation, but it would buy her some time, and later she could conveniently forget about paying, or deny that it was her fault.

      She has moved to a secret location, perhaps to evade a landlord who is trying to track her down for payment?

      • With all the emphasis on the nicely finished floors in the CL pictures, one has to wonder if they needed refinishing after A Donkey and that poor neglected dog departed.

  2. Noticing that it doesn’t say anything about pets being allowed – do we think this is another infraction against our dear donk? They usually make that pretty clear in the listing.

  3. Donks was up late posting crap about how people have so many choices for romantic partners now and the power of single women. Also some random post about the deadliest animals in the world. Is she living somewhere with snakes?

  4. The pictures of that apartment are so weird. They’re all of the floor! The pictures of the kitchen just show that one range oven with what looks like sticker residue on the front of it? Where are the pictures of the windows? There was a beautiful set of full length (quality caulked) windows A Donkey showed once in her pictures. It’s just so odd.

    What is very clear from this, though, is that she was told to move out. It just had to be the AirBnB thing or Lily. Or both. What else could it have been? I think their rent was $4500/mo. Maybe Dadsers and Nehi didn’t want to spring for a big increase? Would they not have been rent-controlled though?

    • My thoughts exactly. Those parquet floors should have been snapped up faster than you could say “Where’s the closest shuttle stop?”. Maybe Donk signed another lease and perhaps the landlord is cutting her a break by kicking her out instead of legally evicting her for the AirBnB racket, but she’s on the hook for rent until a new tenant is found? Still wouldn’t really explain the extended (for SF) vacancy. Maybe there was hella damage that had to be fixed before it was rental-ready again and that move-out pic was really a repurposed move-in pic?

    • I thought the same thing. I’m being headhunted for a job in SF and have been looking at real estate there. Tough market. I’m in NYC and if we move, our 1 bedroom would be snapped up within a week. And it’s not cheap. What gives with that place, I wonder?

  5. Now she’s got a post up about the importance of family when you have kids or something. It’s another veiled dig at people who are so career focused, I think.

    • SEMI-RELATED: I’m not following her link about Aziz Ansari, don’t feel like reading, but I did want to give a thumbs up to his Netflix series, MASTER OF NONE — watched it a few days ago & found it to be sorta sweet, for the most part — if there’s nothing else to watch, this likely won’t disappoint.

    • I actually read the article and it’s basically about how wrong Americans are for not staying close to family. Maybe she’s moving home.

      • None of which would have occurred to her re: employed little brother Britt & blended family sister-in-law moving back to Chicagoland w/ their new baby … no, hell no … it’s a jobless spinster aunt who needs help adulting.

        • She was such a jerkwad about him moving back to the Chicago area, too. But hypocrisy is like a Coobie for her; she feels comfortable with it no matter how much Cankleshausen it induces in others.

      • I read it too. Same recycled article about new moms, needing families, cross country job relocation blah ditty dah. It’s called fucking life and the more you just go with it, don’t overanalyze it and be gracious about it, the better off you will be.
        The End. Fuckfaces.

    • It’s the preachy agree with my preference while I chastise you for having another preference that really makes her so endearing to the masses. Is she making a move on the healthfood dude with a kid? Oh so transparent one who never reads here be sure and download HopSkipDrive when you pretend parent & can’t be bothered from your “busy” day of nothing to tend to someone else’s child.
      #SelectiveToleranceB

  6. OT: Jena la Flamme is apparently on a permanent extended vacation, and DEAR GOD, where are her dolls?! #pleasurableinsurancescam

    “Oh my gosh. The ecstasy and the agony. I’m in a sort of paradise here this week in Nature with amazing people, birds and gourmet food…and … simultaneously my injured wing is hurting like a b****.

    Can’t find the bottle of over the counter painkillers I brought. Everyone is sleeping.

    Must relax. Must relax. Must relax. Ouch.

    PS Happy Full Moon!”

    • Setting the stage like a perfect little grifter (except for all her other posts where she’s dancing with “injured wing.” Guess no one in the tribe was buying it either since they didn’t share their dolls with Jena. #pleasurableliarliarwingonfire

    • What on earth is her endgame here? I know she’s none too bright, but even she must realize she can’t publicly dance and talk about dancing while also committing insurance fraud?

      • Is there actually any insurance fraud every going to be committed?

        I would have guessed it’s just about the facebook drama, another 15 seconds about me me me me me…..

    • Why the need to specify “over the counter” painkillers? Woe is me?
      Girl, if you are going to milk it, at least get the good stuff.

      • Plus, if she really is planning on making an insurance claim and not just seeking more attention, wouldn’t prescription meds make that claim more valid?

        This one’s dumber than Donk!

        • The longer she waits to go to the doctor, the less valid her claim is. One of the first questions I would ask her would be why, if she’s claiming to be in so much pain, has she waited to seek medical help.
          And then the salsa dancing and the 5 hour flight to San Fran and now the camping out. Doesn’t seem to me like her back is hindering her activites.

      • Right? Besides, aren’t goddesses of the earth above that shite, why isn’t La Phlegm rubbing some pineapple mash on her broken wing as a natural, kind-to-the-planet bohemian treatment? Oh, wait …

        All I know is, had I just packed something, I’d probably call it by name, ie: “Where’s my Aleve?” — not by point-of-sale, eg: “Where is my culture-appropriated-made-in-China-by-child-labor-purchased-on-Ebay-delivered by UPS article of imaginary goddess clothing?”

  7. Y’all I’m reading “The Underwriting” by Michelle Miller and it’s frothily awesome.

    • I’ve been searching for a vacation read – just reserved this at the library! Thank you!!

      • Yay!! make sure you underline and take pictures of your grown-out manicure pointing at significant passages.

    • Oh, just snagged this from the library. I need a nice, frothy #pleasurableread after reading three sort of dry non-fiction books back-to-back(-to-back?). Yay. I also borrowed Crazy Rich Asians — anyone read that one?

  8. OT: Ali Shanti has created a new grift, er, course! Yes, it sounds just like the money map, but the old raunch did manage to get “Money Dysmorphia” into the title:

    “It’s been a long-time since I’ve been inspired to write a sales letter. I was worried about it for a while and then I trusted that the inspiration would come when the timing was right.

    Finally, the inspiration has come and I just finished!

    The course is called:

    Enough: Opening Your Eyes to the Resources You Need to Have the Life You Want – an Eyes Wide Open Life Intensive to Cure Money Dysmorphia

    It was inspired after my recent series on accessing credit and debt (link in the comments if you want to read the series) and seeing how many creative, heart-centered people with greatness to bring to the world are blind to their immense wealth and how best to use it, due to fear-based conditioning that has us trapped in a consumer mindset.

    While we will be covering how to best use credit and debt, that’s the bonus material for those who determine that’s one of the resources they want to access or clean-up after completing the Enough Course.

    I’m grateful for this inspiration. And to more clearly see exactly why I’ve had every life experience I have.

    There’s no way I could have understood the depth of fear and blindness people have around their resources if I had not been willing to go into the fire of fear myself, give up everything, file bankruptcy and rebuild from the solid foundation of rock bottom. It
    was only there that I discovered what Enough truly is.

    I’m so looking forward to sharing my discoveries.”

    Enough, Ali, enough!

    • I saw that. I can’t believe anyone falls for her absolute bullshit. I love the woman in the comments saying her money problem is that she can’t get a mortgage without adequate income. Duh. You know Scamti is going to tell her to borrow to get a subprime mortgage or something.

      • Ali should tell her to take a page from the Julia Allison
        braybook & just squat in an ex-BF’s apt ’til he evicts her.

        #DonkeyMap

      • And if there’s a problem? Just declare bankruptcy! Oh, you’re homeless now? Just ask your parents for money and heal that generational financial divide!

        God, I loathe this con artist.

    • “Dysmorphia” someone learned a new word and, again misappropriating: it really should read Money Dysmorphia and the Sociopath. (fixed that for you Ali)

    • I love how all her business names are just a string of vague non-sequitur nouns. Eyes Wide Open Life Abundance Enough Money Map Intensive Artichoke Fishbarrel Course, sure.

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