Updated: A Girl’s Gotta Eat (Pleasurably): “Goddess” Scams & Donkey Droppings

The woo women spent last weekend at some mysterious “Goddess Rising” retreat in California. The usual cast of clowns attended, so Donkey was probably there. Jena la Flamme posted a FB video of several of the attendees acting like entitled assholes, but that video has mysteriously disappeared. What’s remained are teasers and direct advertisements for upcoming grifts. Re: the above fauxto of Adelle Juliet, Cory Tanner Glazier’s piece, Jess “Caterwauler” Johnson writes:

For all of you who have been hearing stirrings about The Garden of Eden presents – Goddess Rising – featuring Jess Magic, Krista Richards and Yasmine El Baggari…I offer you our 2nd contributing badass womb-an, the magnificent Adelle Juliet.

Adelle will be stretching herself into the fiery realms of destruction, fierce compassion, and the death of all that does not serve to bring you the ever-intriguing and often feared….Kali!

Sorry I couldn’t attend, Jess; I was needed back on planet earth. But salsa-ing slacker Jena was so inspired, she flew home and posted several ads directed at womb-en who have the body sads. #jenaspleaurableanorexia

If you are unhappy with your body, consider that it may not be the fault of your body. It may be because you do not believe you have a right to happiness with your flesh. If so, I invite you to question that belief.

Do you want to live and die being un satisfied and critical with your living creature?

Surely not. If you’d like my support shifting this reality so that you can enjoy your body without disapproval or disappointment, john me for my free teleclass on Thursday.

“Wasn’t this teleclass wonderful?! Ready to sign up for my sixth-month class? I’ll take $500 off if you pay in full today!”

From the least profeshunal womb-an ever:

Of course, attendee Ali Shanti is always juggling several scams. Here’s the most recent:

Jennifer Russell, Bryan Franklin’s piece, got her goddess on before flying home to post about a couples retreat that she and her goofball husband are hosting. Neither is a licensed therapist, but so what?!

Bryan and I have decided to do something we’ve been dreaming of doing for a very long time which is to do create a private Retreat at an incredible 12,000 sqft mansion that sits on 7 beautiful acres of land on the topic of love, intimacy, and relationship.

It’s a long time coming after years of helping people both formally and informally with their relationships and being asked…’when are you guys going to teach this stuff!’. Well that time is now and I’m excited…

Our goal is to help a small intimate group rewrite their relationship DNA so that they can more fully embody their ideal love story.

Who wouldn’t want to spend a weekend with these clowns? Maybe tubby Bryan will drink jugs of Aya and run around shirtless, hoping to entice the ladies? Fozzie indicated this is the jerk’s m.o.

On a related note, the webpage for the 2016 Ontrapalooza prominently features a heavily photoshopped Donkey as one of eight past speakers, all “world-class marketing experts.” HA HA HA HA HA HA!

https://ontrapalooza.com/

photoshoppe

Update: Donkey genuflects at the altar of Tony:

“The secret to living is giving.”

Sure, Annie! Dadser’s monthly check arrives this week, and I know the only way I can truly be one of the tribe is to give more and more cold hard cash to my sisters and to beloved Rain! #richandsoblessed #happymoneyhappyme

103 COMMENTS

  1. what does phlegm know about professional women? do they even know what this means? protip: many professional women do all kinds of interesting/strange things in their personal lives… and manage to keep it off facebook.

    and why would I take advice from her on how to be comfortable in my skin? nearly every photograph she is in looks contrived, she poses awkwardly like someone insecure about their body and is trying to hide flaws (head tilts, arms sticking out, body curved all weird). just relax, jesus.

  2. It said Donks was a “past” speaker (no indication she’s a current speaker). Always good to keep attendees guessing who they’re blindly paying to hear speak at another grifter-fess.
    When will people realize ALL these type of programs are a waste, designed for ego of the “founder.” Most successful vc’s and founders aren’t sharing tips beyond what you can find in a Google search with the general masses because it’s all fraud-based. This is one the best in the World and their website offers two address locations and that is all. http://www.benchmark.com/
    These talks, summits, forums are a joke.

  3. As a professional woman, I recommend wearing a bra and clothes that fit properly. No charge, that one’s on the house.

    I gasped out loud when I saw that rogues’ gallery of presenters for Spirit Calling. Honestly, though, that Nick Good character makes Skankatron look like Doris Day.

    • I couldn’t help noticing Ali is the only one who’d submitted a photo where she’s not looking at the camera, choosing instead to present herself as both shifty AND full of herself. That’s a bold marketing decision.

        • It looks like the Last Safe Investment is to live beyond your means and instead of (living within means) or asking friends to chip in for the rental house, fluffy franklin has decided to make it a “relationship” retreat. They could charge more by the couple than if they were still shilling the “investment’ shit.
          I can’t imagine spending my entire life circling the drain like these people do. Its gotta be exhausting constantly pretending to be secure with their eating disorders, or selling that their inability to be gainfully employed is a “blessing,” or knowing that the only way out is watching Dateline for how not to get caught when all else fails and they commit fratricide.

  4. I take offense to the term womb-en, or womb-an or whatever the fuck they call it. Do you know how ridiculous it would sound it we termed men – scrotmen or scrotman?
    Seriously? My womb is what defines my goddesseness?
    Fuck off woos. And then fuck off some more.

    Sorry. I had to put my 12 year old doxie to sleep on Monday. I’ve been in a xanax induced haze since and this post just really chafes my ass. My womb-ass.

  5. I have decided to open my parents’ house for a weekend retreat of love, laughter, harmony and throwing up. We will get together and do lots of drugs and sing and dance and embrace our inner selves and outer vodka. We will begin crying and telling each other how beautiful we are and how sorry we are for being such a bitch that one time. At some point, sliding naked down the bannister will appear to be a fun thing to do. Eventually the cops will come, I will be grounded and Amanda will begin to get her life together once her parents finally become aware of the extent of her coke habit. Oops, wait, that was my 16th birthday party. Which is probably ten years’ too mature for the assholes pictured above.

  6. This group is a nightmare. And if they really cared about their sisters like they say, one of these sloths would wrestle the eyeliner out of Jennifer Russell’s hands. Jesus lady. I was better at application in the 7th grade. Oh, and just how much more mileage can you and your little man get off of a picture. You’re the embodiment of woo love. Got it.

    • These people are assholes!

      “Our biggest credential, and in our minds the only credential of any meaning is the exquisite truth and beauty of our own relationship and the inspiration it’s served in so many people’s lives who’ve known us best.”

      • If I personally knew someone who wrote or said something that fucking insufferable, I’d tell them to PISS OFF in no uncertain terms.

      • The testimonies are equally as absurd. Lalla, Rain, and then our donkey wrote a 5 paragraph blurb of nonsense. $3500. The wrong people have way too much money

        • Donkey made it sound like she was in a relationship, and then right after her post is ILY Rain’s. Hmmm.

          • What the fuck does Rain Phuckphace’s post even mean?

            “Jennifer Russell and Bryan Franklin not only see how and why couple do what they do; not only do they have incredible tools for transmuting limiting patterns and accelerating positive heavers, they are masters as it. And they know how to translate this technology into real world change for those fortunate enough to receive it.”

            Transmuting limiting patterns? Positive heavers? Masters as it?

          • This ‘technology’? WTF? Are they going to harness the power of Donk’s positive heaving?

            Lookit that more than 40+year-old dude who can’t write right rite his way out of a wet paper bag — hoo boy, what’s the plan now, Julia?

  7. I am so sad that me and my womb-anhood did not know about this Goddess retreat. If only I could have swang by.

    Better yet, I wish that all of these women would join mystical forces. I feel sure that for a very reasonable price I would have finally have a chance to achieve happiness with my flesh, satisfaction with my living creature, the ability to fully embody my ideal love story and, finally, the tools to wheedle the last remaining dollar bills out of my living parents retirement accounts.

    • Speaking of wheedling out those last few dollars, the shantress just posted a screed about getting past the guilt she feels about asking for her mother’s meager retirement savings. Yes, Ali has reached the next level in scamming!

      “I’m curious how many of you who read here are aware of how much your past conditioning influences your current choices and what a gift it is to mine that conditioning for the gifts they offer to the current work you are here to do in the world. And, how you may be missing your purpose at some level, if you do not mine these gifts.

      I had a big shift this morning in a session with LiYana Silver that helped me move beyond subtle victim energy I was holding around this past conditioning to see the reality that I actually could not do the work I am here to do in the world, if I had not had these experiences, been born to the family I was, etc.

      For example, I have known for a long time that I am meant to work with people who have financial wealth re-connect to their money and the ways they can use it to do true good in the world.

      And to support families to heal the inter-generational divide that often results due to miscommunications and misunderstandings around money.

      And to help people see that money is the least of what we pass on to our kids and future generations and how we can more consciously pass on the patterns of a world we truly want to create and live in.

      But, I felt held back (internally) from doing this work at the biggest level I possibly can by the fact that I grew up the poor little rich girl among the wealthy Jewish families of Miami. And, by the fact that my dad was not trust-worthy with money and the way he earned money.

      I have allowed the stories of my ancestry keep me from fulling step into my purpose with this work.

      While I have continually touched on the work at various levels, building an estate planning practice, training estate planning lawyers, creating the money map, etc. there has also been a subtle hold-back that has kept me from fully living into my purpose.

      Something along the lines of: I don’t come from wealth, so how can I actually help people who have wealth. Or, my dad was not trustworthy with money, so I am not trustworthy with money.

      I can now see that I was born into the perfect family to prepare me for this work I am here to do. In fact, these past experiences (not just mine, but my dad’s and his mom’s) were the perfect preparation for this work I am here to do.

      My family actually was wealthy. They had money dysmorphia, as so many do, so I didn’t get that message clearly, but the truth in my ancestry is wealth. Used unwisely in many ways, as it is for so many and one of the things I hope to shift permanently for myself and others.

      And, my dad’s untrustworthiness around money is the unfortunate reality that still exists in much of the world around wealth. My dad’s paradigm was one of win/lose and that is still real for most people. It’s one of the paradigms I am most committed to shifting. How could I shift something if I didn’t experience it myself?

      Understanding these things, I no longer need to push away from the work and the people I am meant to work with. I can embrace my history for the gift that it is and serve deeply, trusting myself and life itself.

      While I have always had a sense of this at an intellectual level, it’s existing in my body in a new way thanks to the session with LiYana this morning.

      Grateful.

      And would love to hear where you have noticed that the conditioning of your past is the gateway and gift to the future you know you are here to create.”

      For God’s sake, TELL HER NOTHING!

      • Wow. The Shantress should call me for a counseling session. It would be much more expedient. Here is how it would go.

        Ali, cut the bullshit. You are your father’s daughter. If you want to work on yourself, start there.

      • “Would love to hear where you have noticed that conditioning of your past is the gateway and gift to the future you know you are here to create”…and if you happen to throw in your SSN, bank account and credit card info, that works too.

      • I pray that poor woman isn’t talked into getting a life insurance policy.

      • I see: so she’s carrying her family’s financial untrustworthiness down to the next generation!
        GENIUS!

      • “I am not trustworthy with money.”

        That’s not actually something you need to get past, Shamti. That’s just God’s honest truth.

      • Cripes, I’ll give her $1,000 if she promises to only use it to pay for writing classes. That shit is only comprehensible in the context that it’s slightly more readable than anything Our Julia has written.

  8. I mean, this is merely one thing in a pile of WTF, but I also love how this goddess lineup is apparently a series random white women pretending they’re Indian goddesses and applauding one another for it. I kind of want to drop a link on pagansofcolor.tumblr.com and just watch the carnage.

  9. Someone please tell that moron Annie LALALALLALAALA: “borrowing isn’t giving, you fucking moron.” What a miserable pile of shit.

    • I want to think that LaLa was throwing shade at she who
      [1] never gives, &
      [2] doesn’t have a grand to loan, much less give

      P.S. Donkey

      • I also kind of wonder if Donkey owes money from one the previous trips but I got the shade feeling from that too.

        • That occurred to me too, & if it’s so, if I had to guess, Donk owes LaLa a grand.

        • Oh yeah. Donkey needs the aloe vera and an ice cold towel.

          Sometimes I want to like Lolala, for at least keeping it ambiguously mean. I think she has our Julie’s number, but it’s easier just to be nice to her. For now. Give her another three years and she will be a non-entity like Taylor, or Levin, or Donut, or… um… who was the gay guy from nun-society? TJ some-odd.

          • I like Lala for that but remember she’s then I remember her husband (with whom she has a small female child) works with the known child rapist. She also has gotten PAID from his as well. None of these people have souls.
            She throws shade only to make herself feel better about her poor life choices (cue wedding dance).

          • Her husband also was responsible for teaching multitudes of insecure men how to be asshole pickup artists. For this alone he deserves to die in a fire.

  10. 3 keys you must know…

    3 key WHATs? Three key facts? three key secrets?

    No, just 3 keys.

    • I feel they must be trolling us because there’s no way she could use the word professional in a sentence, kinda like Donkey using the work “marketing,” when she’s nothing but a brand failure.

      • like anyone who ever had a job above the level of “do you want fries with that?” would ever listen to any of them about anything

  11. 1. Why is Ali Shanti going by her Alexis Neely birth name in the Spirit Calling ad?

    2. “Money dysmorphia” is like a made-up thing, right? A Google search just pulls up Ali Shanti pages.

    3. This has probably been discussed multiple times, but what exactly is a money map? And if I knew what it was, would I still have to buy it from Ali Shanti. Does SHE use the money map?

    4. One of the other former “marketing experts” is that b-school woman. I still don’t understand what b-school is, either, only that is looks like a pyramid scheme.

  12. Ok ok ok.. I know what’s going on now.. Years ago “my friend” told me about this high end rub’n’tug place in the bay area called Garden of the Goddess or something. They are using the same flowery phrasing that website used:

    I offer you our 2nd contributing badass womb-an, the magnificent Adelle Juliet. Adelle will be stretching herself…

    …If you’d like my support shifting this reality so that you can enjoy your body without disapproval or disappointment, john me for

    So this is all just sex shit right? Sure they play it up with the language, but all these “intimate spiritual sessions” are just your basic naked party. This makes a lot more sense now.. I mean.. the way they never quite exactly describe what you are getting for your money, it’s because they legally *can’t* tell you.

    I think I have more respect for them as sex prostitutes than just… seminar-givers.

  13. I found this site researching some of Donkey’s BM connections. What a freaking rabbit hole. One thing I don’t see mentioned in the archives is the Donkey herd’s connection to the Showtime Reality TV Series “Polyamory: Married and Dating.” The San Diego “Pod” is part of the Camp Mystic burners and Adelle and Cory are affiliated with that crowd. They subsist on many of the same offerings – classes, workshops, books. But, they usually at least call an orgy an orgy.

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