A Fashion Week Flashback – They’re Our Memories, Too!

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Grifty reminded me that New York Fashion Week begins tomorrow and so I went nostalgic and got all weepy-eyed.  Who wouldn’t when remembering the stolen NBC mic, Julia “interviewing” celebrities and waiting for them to stop speaking so she could add her uninformed opinion, and poor Devin Stetler looking as though he’d just walked in from Modesto?  Yes, those were transformative times!

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The saddest clown in the world:

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Bottom Picture Hall of Shame: The 10 Fans in the ‘Stans who liked Donkey’s vacation from vacation-itis post.

#5) Woo grifter Mia Cara, who’s currently running a Master Cleanse scam. Be sure to let Mia know how amazing she looks!

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Many have reached out about the Group Master Cleanse..yes, it’s happening! Details coming soon, but will be in March. In the meantime, who’s ready to love their body now? Who’s ready to get their body in peak performance this year? Who’s ready to completely halt the aging process and feel and look their best? If you are ready for all this in 2016, let’s set up a time to talk about how I can help you create your healthiest body ever, this year! How long are you going to wait to get this handled?

Last night at an event a woman was stunned to learn I was 42. She honestly thought I was about 28 (just to be clear, I LOVE being 42 and never want to be 28 again!). I don’t put anything on my skin that isn’t edible. I’ve never had anything in the realm of a “procedure”, haven’t had even a facial in at least 15 years. I don’t use “products, no magic pills. I give my body the nutrients it needs, I cleanse it out regularly, and I move it in all sorts of pleasurable ways. The end result is a body and face that just hasn’t aged much in many years. The pictures here are of me at 41 holding pictures I took of my face when I was 26 just starting to get healthy (the omnipresent dark circles under my eyes at 26 were likely wheat allergy looking back). I believe healthy is beautiful and being the best and most vibrant you is the absolute best gift you can give yourself. PM me to set up a time to talk about how you can create this for yourself.

104 COMMENTS

    • Yes, and didn’t the woo kick in shortly thereafter, or is my timeline off?

      So tired of Ali Shanti and that smelly, druggie, sleazy crowd. Maybe Mormon housewife for your next persona, Julie?

      • I’d like to see her doing something where everyone would be nice and encouraging to her face but then would sneer and eyeroll in the background of pictures, etc. Young suburban moms at a church or country club would be great, except she should never have children. One of those tennis leagues where everyone talks shit about how everyone else should be playing at an easier level might be fun (for me).

        I would also love to witness what we all know will never happen: Working Gal Julie. She could do a “What I Wore” business lady edition each day, complete with stained suede platforms and her ratty Louis Vuitton satchel. I would love to watch her getting ground down as she realizes exactly how unspecial she is. Her boss and coworkers could all loathe her for my entertainment and there could be a terrible (wonderful) performance review that someone leaks to us.

    • Grifty, it is always fun when she gets called out for her dishonest existence. I wish it happened more often.

  1. This predates me and I must have missed it whilst archive-hopping.

    Wow. Just wow.

    This behavior is certifiable.

  2. Mia Cara looked around 40 in that pic from when she was 26 and she looks around 40 now. I mean, her skin looks fine, but she is kidding herself if she thinks she’s startlingly young and fresh or whatever.

    On the other hand, if she compares herself to Shantitown, maybe that’s why.

      • At first glance I honest-to-greg thought that was a post-procedure shot and wasn’t sure if she was pleased or upset.

        I’m at her same level of post expiration and I too could grease up my face and take a photo in questionable lighting next to my 26 year old self and shock everyone with my agelessness. Nothing is less flattering than writing social media (or XOShame) posts about how IHTM: I Look SO YOUNG.

        Just no. Only write that post if you’re a beloved star of stage and screen and of senior-citizen standing. Otherwise it is just not cute.

        First of all, most reasonably healthy women over 35 have pretty skin. In your own lives, think about the expired women you know. Most have them are probably rather attractive, no? Without serious drug habits, unbridled enthusiasm for fillers, or lifelong avoidance of sunscreen women don’t go from starlet to crypt-keeper at age 29. I am not even ranting angrily about what is wrong with culture, I am ranting realistically about how women actually look. Mostly, they look great!

        Also, people are pretty bad at guessing ages. In NYC esp (where “age appropriate” clothes are not so much a thing) I am regularly 15 years +/- in my age guesses. People tend to guess down if they aren’t sure! Because they don’t want to offend. Or, they know you’re obsessed with your own looks so they tell you how young you look to get what they want. In woo circles they want you to compliment then right back. On Facebook.

        This is navel gazing at it’s worst. Get your head our of your own ass, look around and notice that everyone looks fine. If we each took 30 selfies we each prob look 26 in at least one and 42 in at least three.

        I could be wrong. You may have actually beat out aging. It would not surprise me if woos (LITERALLY) signed deals with the devil.

        • JFAing myself to say I wrote that superfast and refuse to re-read but suspect my pronouns are all over the place. I’m taking a break from updating my resume and portfolio and writing a few cover letters because I need a job. Like an actual desk-errands job. Wish me luck.

          As they say, wallet hunting is hard work (WINK EMOTICON)

        • . Get your head our of your own ass, look around and notice that everyone looks fine.

          SO MUCH THIS, THIS ALL OVER THE WALLS AND CEILING.

          If everyone is fine, there’s nothing for the woos to sell. So you’re NOT ok and I am REALLY NOT ok. Because I might give up my money to try to chase that OKness instead of being all, “You know what? I’m good, actually.”

    • Is this the same or different Mia Cara who has a lot of tattoos and does pin up like model shots? I can’t tell

      • I am reminded of Mira Sera ( Mina? Serra?) frequently these days because she made suede shorts worn with boots look so completely adorable in that movie (eons ago!) and these days you can’t open an Anthro or Sundance catalog without being inundated with that look.

  3. Christ, Bottom Picture looks worse than burn victims I’ve seen in surgery.

  4. This comment really belongs baxk on the page with all the vacation books, but I knew I’d heard that “I read 12 books at the same time BS before. I was just looking at an archive page, and sure enough…from her seminal book proposal is this:

    “I read a dozen books simultaneously at any given time and I am constantly going
    back and forth between them, looking for the overlapping themes, drawing
    conclusions, much like college – the classes back to back to back. Because that’s
    how life is, a series of venn diagrams that we, oddly, try to push apart when we
    really should be pushing them together.”

    • Thso thsmart!

      Can’t you just picture her, high on her own fumes at that miserable, author-y last sentence?

    • Utter bullshit. Who in the hell reads 12 books at once? And if this bint really were such a voracious reader, she would have spelled favorite authors Virginia Woolf and Ernest Hemingway correctly in her asinine book proposal.

      P.S. Donkey, the editorial staff at it least two publishing firms laughed their asses off while reading your proposal.

      • I am usually reading (and listening to) a bunch of books at once, but that is because I am super ADD and can’t focus on one and just go toward my mood. I also only finish, like, a fraction of them. I have a nasty habit of leaving off with like a hundred unread pages.

        Also, half of them are comic books. If you count the continuing narratives there, I am constantly reading at least twenty books at any one time.

        Plus podcasts.

        All of that, and I can’t remember SHIT.

        AREN’T I ADORABLE AND MANICALLY TWEE?

      • Off topic, but once on an online dating site I saw a profile where the woman said her favorite books were The DaVinci Code, The Alchemist, and Eat, Pray, Love.

        She misspelled “DaVinci”, “Alchemist”, and “Pray”.

      • True story, my husband were walking around the Florida keys when when an expired gentleman who was holding hands with his sweet young thing pointed out Hemingway’s house and she responded, “which one. Margaux or Mariel’s?” –this was about twenty years ago. Reminds me of something the conk would say.

        • True story, my husband were walking around the Florida Keys when when an expired gentleman who was holding hands with his sweet young thing pointed out Hemingway’s house and she responded, “which one. Margaux or Mariel’s?” –this was about twenty years ago. Reminds me of something the donk would say.

    • Amazing Handbag noted on the other thread it’s always “12” not eight or 11. I suspect she’s trying to keep at least one of her lies consistent or perhaps she counts using a book as coaster in an among the 12-pack of despair.

  5. So Mia Cara is pretending she’s NOT sporting gigantic fake petroleum lips? God in heaven.

        • I just skimmed that article, but it seems like she never mentioned she was married in it. Bizarre. And she looks every day of 45. Delusional.

        • Yeah uh, I’m a man, and I have no idea why women do this. They are doing it for themselves, right?

          Either you have a dick-shaped mouth or you don’t.

        • To be fair, the photo in article about her marriage was right after cancer surgery and treatment.

          In general I think EW looks fine and looks about the age she is. Fine! But in that photos she doesn’t look great because she was still recovering.

          • I know she’s still recovering (and I feel for her in that regard) but nothing explains the lips. Nothing sane, at any rate.

        • That article reeks of smug, self absorbed delusions. I could pretty much pick any sentence and smack her in the face with it.
          Reducing parenthood to “breastfeeding while drinking Campari and soda.” Bragging about her political leanings. Pretending to be oh so sexually provacative.
          Bitch, please. You ain’t all that.

        • WHOAH. Like WHOAH. NO!!! I am 47 – her age. The picture of her is brutal, as is the filler lady who is JA’s fan. In my book Elizabeth was always NPD and kind of dumb but she has a nice prose style, kinda like you could sell it to yourself as Jean Rhys Crystal Pepsi Lite Diet Ultra if you were stuck on a penal spaceship with nothing else to read in the year 3090. However she is now full of fillers and botox and crap to SHIT. Sorry, but she looks like a melted wax candle, and way older than her age because of her “crazy NYC delusional lady” vibe , along with its scrawny, thin haired, chain smoker wild eyed weirdness. . I don’t mean to be mean. I hate her writing overall, however I do most of the things she speaks about in her essay. But I think she’s lying in her essay. Ugh gotta lie down now. TL;DR: NPD fucks up your face.

          • JFAing myself to say I feel bad about saying EW looked puffy and crazy and thin haired because: cancer. But no matter what? True harsh fact – the writing voice nor has aged well. Shit…..Everyone lets get some wine and go re-read ” The Last Of Cheri” and “A Certain Age” ( which is by one Ms. Tama Janowitz and is OUTSTANDING) STAT.

          • Well, that is a real problem when people over 40 start to say, “Rah rah, look at me, I look better than everyone else my age.” Because if someone has popped out a half dozen kittens or had cancer or a bazzillion other shitstorms that life can’t control, of course you’re going to look beat down by life. And it’s a total bitch move to blindly say, “Look how much better I look” when it’s really the equivalent of “Lucky me, no curve balls in life.”

        • “People are self-involved. They are all waiting for you to ask about how gifted their kids are.”

          Wait, what? Oh honey. You are the most self-involved person on this planet. I’m sorry you have been denied the one thing in life that would be giving you pleasure right about fucking now, but that’s no excuse to be projecting your self-involvement onto the breeders.

  6. So Mia Cara is offering to “completely halt the aging process”.

    That doesn’t sound shady at all!

    I am going to send her a big big check, right after I get the tracker number for that bridge I ordered yesterday.

    • Aside from those lulz and the comparison to an on and off bipolar boyfriend…I have to say, not the worst work I’ve read from a Donkey.

      Though of course it was all about MEMEMEMEME and not much else, but that’s par for the course. Not a lot of word salad here per usual.

    • “Um … it pays the rent.”

      Does she even know when she’s lying, or is dropping BS as casual as tying her shoelace?

  7. I love the moment in the bottom video, at around 0:59 or 1:00, when the guy is talking and Julia’s head is turned away looking for the next person she wants to talk to – but the guy keeps talking, so she turns back toward him with a look of pure hate that says “shut up already, I just spotted someone more interesting than you”

  8. “…in a 2002 study by Robert Feldman of the University of Massachusetts, who found that on average, people told two to three lies in a ten-minute conversation…”
    – pulled from the googles.

    This is the average, and for a normal (read: average) person. This is including white lies, which are probably the most common. You have plans to go out, you don’t feel like it… “I’m sick, I’m SO SORRY!!” *cough, cough* Next time! Soon!

    It’s not the little lies that gall me, it’s the massive ones like this that blow my mind and reveal how deep rooted our Donkey’s psychological issues are. To neigh neigh around fashion week, which is choc-full-o’journalists, with an unauthorized mic glommed from a major network doing phoney interviews is truly off the deep end. A normal person who happens to still have that mic in their possession, might have the idea cross their mind. “OMG you know what I could TOTALLY do??? Get some footage of interviews at fashion week with this and renew my reel/relevance!” But that person would then think about what would happen to their reputation and employability should they get caught. The permanent damage that would be done, should the network find out… or worse, sue for the potential liability… would be far too great for a normal person to seriously entertain following through on this wacky idea. They’d say to themselves, “Girl, you cray. Next!”, laugh at themselves, and move on.

    Julia on the other hand, gets her boyfriend involved (not loving him enough to consider HIS embarrassment or reputation, because ME ME MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!) and makes fools of them both, as bloggers and journalists and high level influencers in attendance look on in amused horror. She thinks the knowledge of her lies is in an enclosed bubble of people (this website for example), but it isn’t. She doesn’t understand why people see her this way because she is SO convinced of “perception” being everything that she assumes the gen pop fell for it, or puts casual spin on the truth to try to salvage the perception she thinks people have of her. Her narcissism prevents her from being able to acknowledge that people aren’t as stupid as she projects onto them. The mic, the Davos report, the BS “investments”, the BOOK!!! The list of lies goes on longer than there are margins within which to write them down.

    Even the woo’s must realize it does not take 2.5 years to write a fluff book that was meant to be riding off the Bravo momentum that never existed.

    To grow, Julia needs to realize that it’s completely ok, in fact HEALTHY, to move on to new things. It’s okay to let an old dream die so that a new one can be born. Tried the fameball shtick, got somewhere with it, and then fell flat. Cool! Let’s try something new now. What’s another “passion” you have? (ME!) How can you use what you learned from dream 1 to make dream 2 a more successful attempt? (TAKE A VACATION FOR MEEEE!) She probably thinks moving on to something new is admitting she failed. It isn’t. What she’s doing is beating a dead donkey that is her childhood hopes and dreams.

    Pivot, bitch.

    Disclosure: This is AJ and this is my new username.

    • (not loving him enough to consider HIS embarrassment or reputation)
      1. A donkey is not capable of love
      2. A donkey is not self-aware enough to recognize personal embarrassment or the negative truthful damage she’s done to her own reputation.
      3. Everyone in her life is eventual collateral damage.

    • i kind of actually liked nonsociety for a while–then again i was in my early 20s and just finishing college/enjoying a somewhat vapid youth. julia could have stayed relevant if 1 she wasnt such a fucking asshole and 2 if she had grown up along with her audience. bitch is still the same after all these years.

      • Example: Shira Lazar – Think what you will of her, I’ve always quite liked her and respected her hustle. Homegirl has built something tangible with What’s Trending.

        This could have been a donkey show, but nah.

    • If she were smart, she’d write the book on what it’s like to have a reblogging/snark/hate site aimed at her for years on end. How the site affects her daily, what the words do to her psyche, how it has changed her emotionally, psychologically…it’s all there, the makings of a current, fascinating read. I don’t guess she’d ever go there. In all fairness, the research alone would break her. I am the opposite of Julia, I thrive on flying under the radar while remaining a good friend, mother, daughter… I wonder what it’s like to forever have a target on your back that, no matter how hard you try, never goes away because you keep posting things that set people off. Latest vacay point, case in point.

      • JFAing to say she’d have to be completely honest and really dig deep, so yeah, it won’t happen. BOOK!!?

      • I think this should be just a chapter in a tell all memoir of what it was like to be an Internet famewhore. The rise and fall. But then she would have to be honest, first with herself and then about everything else. And of course that will never happen.

        It would be the perfect book for her to write, and it would probably sell.

        • If she was REALLY good at PR, she’d use the “most hated” moniker for leverage. OWN that shit and it loses it’s power.

          But even that would require work, so…

      • “They call me donkey: the true story of Julia Allison”.

        Now that’s a BOOK I’d buy.

    • You know what bothers me?

      The UNNECESSARY lies.

      We all lie, sometimes to protect ourselves (“cough, cough, can’t go to work”), sometimes to protect others (“I love your new haircut”), but nobody asked her how many books she was reading or how many she was taking to her Mexican stresscation.

      Why does she need to post a blatant lie on facebook?

      It is that constant desperate need to project a fake image of herself that is pathological.

      • Even if it were true, who feels the need to talk about it in that way? It is so obviously presented in a way that indicates she is insecure and craves approval.

  9. Ok, you guys, I’m about to be a total Donkey. But you’re usually a helpful bunch and might find it amusing:

    My desk errands have been killing me lately. My project is wrapping up next Friday and then I’m taking a quick “get the hell out of dodge before I have a mental breakdown” vacation. My job happens to provide me with ample airline and hotel points.

    What is a good place to go solo for ~4-5 days from SF? I’m leaning Hawaii (Maui?), but I haven’t been since I was a kid so I don’t know what island, how to entertain myself, etc. I have no qualms going by myself, just want to make it worthwhile.

    The vacation thing from Julia has been cracking me up based on how desperately I need a break. I have not, however, insulted my entire family in the process, and I have a real job that is paying for the trip, etc.

    • I did a solo trip to Kauai several years ago and it was perfect. I stayed on both shores but preferred the north shore/Princeville area. Hanalei Bay was gorgeous. I did a boat/snorkeling tour of the NaPali coast and the botanical gardens nearby were beautiful and worth a visit. I went ziplining at the Princeville Ranch and did a heli tour which I think was at the airport. I loved it. Waimea Canyon, the sugar plantations and spouting horn on the south shore – just a wonderful, relaxing trip.

      • I haven’t been to all the islands so I can’t compare, but I do second Greg above that Kauai is lovely. What I really liked about it (in addition to how relatively uncrowded it was) was that you could really explore most of the island in a week or so, so by the time I left I didn’t feel like I’d missed anything I wanted to see (though I definitely still didn’t want to leave).

        I think did pretty much the same trip as Greg. Absolutely agree that the north shore is a dream. We spent the first night at a really kooky but adequate inn near the airport, so we could go west to Waimea the next morning and hike the canyon before we went north. The bulk of our trip was at a beachfront condo complex, I think it was called Hanalei Colony, and it was terrific and low key–plus they have a fabulous luau at the restaurant across the street that isn’t very expensive and is family run, so it wasn’t glossy and overproduced. The last 2-3 days we went to the St. Regis in Princeville, which was horribly pricey but absolutely lovely, and they upgraded us to an oceanfront villa. Moving to different hotels depending on where we wanted to be, how much we wanted to pay, etc., was absolutely the right strategy for us.

        I think the only thing I didn’t think through/love was that we left on a 10pm red-eye flight, which meant the last day, we checked out of our hotel at 11am and then basically had to just be out and about the entire day. That sounded fine when we booked, but we were so, so tired by the end of the day, and also were running out of places to just sit and hang out. A red-eye plus that last exhausting day was a bit too much and it took us awhile to recover. If I was doing it again I’d try to leave on a day flight.

        Enjoy your vacation!

        • I stayed at the Grand Hyatt on the south shore for a few nights and the rest at the Westin Princeville. (The St. Regis was being renovated or I would have stayed there – this was the one trip of my life where I was like FUCK IT I’M SPLASHING OUT.) I wish I had found a little hippie B&B in Hanalei village or something because the Westin Princeville is a weird timeshare hotel. But it was perfectly fine.

          • I can’t remember how long I stayed, I think 6-7 days, but I completely agree with Gimme Pig that I did leave feeling as though I had seen most of what I wanted to see and I didn’t want to leave.

            So far that has been my only trip to HI, so I have no islands to compare it to either, but Kauai was the island the majority of my friends recommended, and it ended up being one of my favorite trips ever. (I am interested in Maui but mostly because I have a childhood friend who lives there.)

            I also wanted to add that I was never much interested in Hawaii, but that trip was after an intense work phase and I wanted easy, pleasant, quiet, fun. I was about to lose my damn mind prior to that trip and it was a wonderful reset.

            It smells amazing there. There are freaking wild roosters everywhere though and they will wake you up!

            Enjoy and let us know where you end up going! Jelly!

    • Kauai if you really want to unplug, Maui if you want more action, bars, feel like you still have some “city” to the vacation. Maui seems best of both worlds. I stayed at the Fairmount and then we’d walk to all the other hotels via the beach and go to their bars, check out their pools, etc.

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