Gilly: Close To The Flame & A Woo Roundup

Note: This post was preempted because of sizzling standup Julia Allison’s requests for TOP NOTCH tenants & editors.

Brace yourselves: this first paragraph is all about Me, Me, ME! Among the folks I spent the past weekend with was a woman well-acquainted with the woos and one step removed from Ali Shanti. Oh, the stories she told! The words “con artist” came up repeatedly over dinner, particularly in relation to the grifter crowd holding conferences, retreats, one-on-one consultations, etc., on subjects in which they have no schooling, no credentials, no training. I shared a bit of what went down with a few cat peep pals outside of RBD and am hoping that I can post less of a tease in the future. SS;SF.

Speaking of Shantitown, Polyamory’s Mom of the Year announced to the world that she was leaving her 16 year old and her 12 year old at home by themselves while she paraded her cleavage around Esalen.  After the old raunch returned, she roped that 16 year old and the kid’s boyfriend into the Money Map scam.  The teenagers attended Ali’s MM Masters retreat and hopefully will soon be advising clients while Ali attends yet another burner orgy. She clearly doesn’t want her children educated or attending college.

Who wants financial advice from a high school sophomore?!

Over in Harlem, Jena la Flamme discovered that resonating with authenticity is “the ultimate goal.” To achieve this state of being, everyone’s favorite cultural tourist is being called to Jamaica:

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, I’m feeling viscerally called to Jamaica. Yes, it’s the beautiful Mother Nature there in the ecology and weather, but also the nature in the people that attracts me, specifically their dance. I’d like to metaphorically speaking apprentice with some Jamaican women on the dance floor and learn from them new ways to move.

>It’s not beyond me to go alone, especially as I can make connections there before I go, and I’m not opposed to going with someone who would be into my dance-focused & Nature-focused tourism of Jamaica. Anyone tempted?

Tho authentic! Meanwhile, Jena’s ex, Michael Ellsberg, is still pushing his latest self-proclaimed bestseller but stopped shilling long enough to let everyone know:

Bottom Drawing: Nachos à la Smellsberg!


  1. I don’t know what’s happening in that top picture, but I’m pretty sure it’s actionable.
    “Show us on the doll where the mud people touched you.”

  2. The photo of the three chicks together makes me think there must be a fair amount of jealousy, competition and status seeking amongst all these “sisters” who orgy together.

    And some of Raunch’s pics make me wonder if she has breast implants.

    • It’s all smug and trying to look sexy but always dead in the eyes. Or they’re high as kites.

      From what I’ve heard it’s all fierce competition while pretending to be above it.

      • Yep, particularly because most of them are scrambling financially and are often competing re: similar grifts.

    • And WTF is “viscerally attracted” supposed to mean anyway?

      That her liver is trying to leave her body to travel to Jamaica?

      • I’m sure the women of Jamaica have nothing better to do, like making a living and having their own lives, than teach this weirdo layabout white chick from Fuckfield, USA to dance with true exotic sensuality or some shit. Dunno, maybe they have busy lives and jobs, like being a maid at the resorts people like this would stay at on Daddy’s dime. Seriously, wtf.

        • CULTURAL APPROPRIATION like Beyoncé wearing a sari.
          (About which, people who love nontroversies should fuck off about. Saris are beautiful, I think Indian women are the most elegant in the world. Beyoncé wears one and other Indian accoutrements in the new Coldplay video, and people rush to condemn her, to get that righteous feeling of being offended, even though they’re not Indian and actual Indian people love it, from what I’ve seen. What a boring world we’d live in if artists can’t be inspired by various world cultures, and “borrow” them in a respectful and beautiful way.)

          • Unless you are it, you shouldn’t wear it, is a good rule. Indian women wearing them is elegant but, Beyoncé is an American entertainer from Texas, where wearing a sari in a video as a costume, is the definition of cultural appropriation. She’s not incorporated the look into her everyday life, it’s just exploiting someone else’s culture without regard for meaning or tradition. Sorry, I’m a big ole nope, on this one.

    • Then why not join my master’s drawing course, Robot? We have 15 spots left. Use code BOGO500OFF to take $500 off this worthwhile investment in your creativity (only with pay in full option) or you can pay over 12 months and get started for as little as $199. Learn from my wisdom and experience in the fine arts! Many of my students have been with me for years because they know you can’t find such amazing instruction for this low of an investment. We would love for you to be one of the remaining 15 to join us!

  3. Jamaica. Dear Greg. Yes, Jena, that’s a lovely place for a single, white woman to visit. They will welcome you with open arms because they really, really want to share their culture with you so that you can adopt their “nature.”

    Sorry… I’ve been to Jamaica, I love it, love the music, but please. Does she have ANY idea of how Jamaican people dance? Does she think it will be properly “tribal”? I can’t with these woos. Jena CAN fail.

  4. Isn’t Jenna supposed to be openly gay now?

    Hasn’t she heard about the rampant homophobia in Jamaica?

    What. A. Tool.

    • Girl’s been gay for like five hot minutes. Established cultural lesbians have a few words for this type of newcomer. There is a learning curve, and that first instance of homophobic violence is one hell of a curb to step off of.

      I guess if you’re rich enough to insulate yourself from reality this much, THE FEAR (like actual fear, of things that should frighten you, the things you should know to protect your own life) doesn’t really register. Until suddenly, they’re in the wrong place at the wrong time for anywhere from one moment (brief violence) to the rest of their life (injury, death). New Agey denialist navel-gazing doesn’t really prepare a person for that and the prospect would chill my soul for these women if it seemed like their souls ever chilled for anyone other than themselves. Jury is still out.

      • She says since high school, and she left her first husband for a woman. This is more than half her life. I am not a fan of hers, I think she is a clueless narcissistic flake, but I am not sure “one hot minute” is a fair or honest characterization of her sexuality.

      • Ha!

        But I am actually freaking out b/c someone called my work today about a gomi comment I made 2 years ago. Knew my name and work place. I need help Catladies – what do I do?

        • Ugh, gross. I am not a 100% expert on this, just someone who’s used VPNs to watch BBC iPlayer from the US, but a VPN will hide your IP address. There are browser extensions like Hola, but if you’re mostly concerned about RBD, you could access it from here:

          That doesn’t require installing anything, and you should be good to go.

          • Also, I went a little acronym-crazy there. VPN = virtual private network. It’s a way to block your own identifying details.

          • I made 22 comments in 2014 to May 2015. Mostly stupid echo comments about a blogger. Nothing vicious or cray. Lost interest and haven’t thought of it since. Got a voicemail at my new job today and caller knew my real name, my gomi username and obviously, where I now work. Freaking the fuck out.

            What can I/should I do?

          • Wow. Sorry. Did they threaten to tell your boss or something? Curious if you ever donated to gomi via paypal?

          • MY wet spot: that is crazy! How could someone ascertain that kind of info from your comment? I’m no expert, but I thought IP just showed roughly what town you’re located in. Do you use the gomi username for any other sites?

            I would be freaking about the violation of privacy, too, but honestly what damage can that person do to you? They’re going to make a fuss because they disagree with something you wrote on the internet?

          • Never donated. Completely mystified and freaked. I don’t know what they would tell my new boss – 2 years ago she allegedly made a snarky comment about a blogger on a blogger snark site? Not like I have done anything on this job – but JFK why would someone stalk me after 2 years b/c I said x blogger is a narcissist?

            I’m genuinely curious!

            Any and all advice most appreciated. What do I do if they do call my new boss? Ugh. I do not need this one month into a new job!,

          • Thanks for the commiseration. No – used a burner yahoo. I am so freaked out that they tracked me to a job I’ve had for 5 weeks and am obviously worried that they will contact my new boss and I’ll be fucked. WTF?

          • Well, you won’t be fucked. Nobody cares about random crazies calling to complain about Internet hurt feelings, including your boss.

          • Thanks, Albie. And everyone. I’m just flipping about having to explain GOMI to my new boss and being seen as a liability so early on.

            But seriously – how could someone track my real name and workplace from a burner yahoo email from a gomi comment 2 years ago? And why? They used my gomi username in the message and I’ve never used that anywhere else.

            I am currently considering quitting the internets.

            *will barter advice for coobies!

          • I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I don’t understand the need to do that to someone, is there any way you can capture the caller’s phone number (if they’re dumb enough to call you they may be dumb enough to do it from a cell or traceable land line). If you can get that information turn it over to the authorities & see if you can press charges for harassment. (not an attorney but there are enough good ones on here that may have better advice).

          • JFA’ing to ask are you friends with any posters on gomi IRL? Maybe someone you forgot about that could possibly do this. Again, sorry you’re going through this.

          • @MyWetSpot: on FB (assuming you are), have you “liked” the GOMI pg using your real profile? Undo it before you answer here, should that be the case, is my suggestion. Those are only dots I can, albeit graspingly, connect. You probably should delete that gomi profile too, even though it’s likely just a disgruntled & harmless blogger who cares.

          • MY wet spot, I didn’t mean to be glib above. I do get how this might feel like a bizarre and unsettling invasion of privacy, and I am sorry some nutbag is being a jerk to you.

            But there is really no way they are going to be able to make your life any more difficult than the possibility of a moment’s awkward conversation with your boss about how crazy it is that Internet strangers with a grudge stalk people to their workplaces, I promise. I say this as someone who has had Internet strangers stalk her to her workplaces, as someone who has been sued in actual courts by Internet strangers, and as someone who had an Internet stranger send some very unpleasant packages to her home.

            Ultimately, the Internet stranger is always the one who looks like the crazy one.

          • Oh, and an Internet stranger called my house to tell my husband what a bitch I am.

            He said, “Of course she is! That’s why I married her!”

        • It’s a little late for hiding your IP address if someone already tracked you down. If you want ped0phile-strength anonymity right now, use Tor Browser and only Tor Browser. For everyday usage, consider a VPN like it is about $40/year and can run on multiple devices.

          As for how they found you, I have ideas. First, it kind of depends on where you were when you shitposted. If you were at home on say a cable connection, I really don’t see how they could discover your identity from that. You need a subpoena or at to work at some DRM company or something. If you were at work, that’s another thing. Say you work at a small boutique law firm and all outbound traffic comes from Well, an enterprising person could use that and simply call said law firm and socially engineer someone into revealing who you are.

          THAT all said, they would still need the IP address itself from the GOMI website access logs! And only Alice would have that! Unless she got hacked, which, considering her competence as a web admin and the anger the site instills in people, is a very strong possibility. Also, maybe Alice did as Alice is wont to do, and got drunk and chatted up the blogger you snarked on, and that blogger asked Alice to sell her some of the infos about the users who talked shit about her. and alice did and then promptly passed out. That is a possibility.

          But with only the IP and disposable email, I fail to see how someone could get anywhere. It’s not like there is some Internet registry of IP addresses and their owners real names. Think hard about your posts. Did you mention where you work or something personally revealing? Did the username of the email or your handle have something that could be googled? Did you ever read any email that was sent to that address? Maybe someone phished you.

          I have an idea about how they found your new job: linkedin. It’s a horrible, yet for-some-reason-necessary part of some people’s professional lives and has extremely detailed information about you. I never list my current job there for this reason alone. Also, maybe they called your previous job looking for you and were given your new job’s number. Ask them.

          I also don’t see why you should be concerned. Honestly this comes off like a troll just trying to spread FUD. I do recognize your name though, so I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. Why not just tell your new job “Sorry, this is a little embarassing, but I have an scary mystery internet stalker and they called me the other day. I’m not sure what to do.. I think they found me on Facebook… ” With that, anything the stalker says becomes totally meaningless and they will be dealt with like a heavy-breathing pervert. I’m not sure why you are owning up to this either. Do you know how impossible it is to prove YOU commented on a website two years ago? Jesus christ! It could have been your sibling/coworker/child using the same computer. It’s not like we have to sign in with our fucking retinal scans!

          Deny everything except that you have a stalker. We love you.

          • May or may not be related, there was a recent comment on an old post saying it seemed like this site was trying to give them a virus or something. I will say that for the first few days after coming across this place, I was redirected to some scam site when I came here. It stopped doing that after a few days. This was just 3 weeks ago.

          • Thanks ks and everyone – I’m a little less and more freaked out now! The thing is I don’t have a FB or LinkedIn. I did speak with Alice on the phone once but again, it was 2 years ago and the blogger I commented about doesn’t even have a thread – it was a get off my tumblr nobody. And again, my comments were to the effect of – x is such a privileged narcissist she drives me nuts! Nothing vicious or alarming. No one has commented about this blogger in over a year so I don’t see how it would rise to the level of Alice meeting the blogger and giving out my name.

            The message wasn’t to the cell I spoke to Alice on. It was my brand new work number and stalker said: this message is for GOMI username – my IP audits are complete and confirmed what I suspected. I know what you did in GOMI real name. You’ll be hearing from me.


          • An extortion attempt? Just see how well that went for the guy who tried that with David Letterman.

          • If you used a home computer, and you’re confronted by your boss, why not say 10 other people split the IP? Where I live it’s 4 separate apartments and we all split one bill.

            If you want to stay ahead of it, contact the police so if you are confronted by your boss – you can say you have no idea what’s going on and you’ve already contacted the police.

          • Nobody’s going to be confronted by their boss about a random person calling to say “MY wet spot said mean things on the Internet a couple of years ago.”

          • you talked to alice on the phone? so she had your number. the message you got sounds like bullshit, disinfo about ips to distract from the real leak. with a cell number you could get a name and possibly an address. in fact, because they sound so sure they have the right person, I really doubt an ip lead them to you. there is uncertainty with an ip, not with a phone number.

            are you sure this isnt just alice or one of her friends trolling you because she is drunk and upset you havent called in awhile?

          • I only called her once 2 years ago and nothing of note happened. The call yesterday came to my new work number. I’m not even in the directory yet so i am super freaked how he got that number. The message was from a man. Maybe a friend of hers but as I’ve said, I haven’t posted to gomi since May 2015 and only posted 22 tame posts over a year or so – not a big presence there so I can’t imagine why she would come after me. It is the weirdest and wtf thing that has ever happened to me. If I get any additional messages I’m going to the police.

    • So creepy! I’m still checking in on r/blogsnark and r/thepartypantssub and it all seems batshit crazy. Never commented on GOMI and don’t know anything about PartyPants, but since JA is so boring lately, it’s kinda filling the void of sad Internet drama.

    • Did Alice know who you were? She outed me to a member of the media (who, luckily, wasn’t overly interested but was kind enough to let me know). I have since learned it wasn’t just me she outed.

      Never trust a drunk.

      • I did email her yesterday about this bullshit and so far no response. Crazy! I’m thinking about all the stupid shit I have posted here and the possibility of having to explain why to a new employer. It’s crazy.

        • That’s what whoever did this wants. Don’t give them that kind of power. Tell your boss you’ve had some internet threats and you’d appreciate if any calls go to him regarding you to please take down the number and let you know so you can alert the authorities. Give no unneeded information. Direct & calm with your boss. Makes the caller look crazy, not you.

      • Yup. Former active member here and gomi. And bc Alice was revealed to be lying and outing numerous people’s IPs and names etc. I’ve stopped. FYI- no one I know who was outed had issues subsequently other than being panicked about the possible consequences. I am positive she’s outed me bc she’s out mutual acquaintances.

        • Jesus. Why?

          Thank you all for reassuring me. I’m going to try to shrug it off but it was frightening and it’s hard not to worry about god knows what. But again, thank you all – you are all so awesome!

          • She wants to be liked. She uses whatever she can to feel that someone in the world values her. It’s very sad. I hope she gets sober this time.

          • Just an FYI…the more we talk about it here, the greater the chance of RBD and folks/mods here being fucked with. So maybe ixnay on the omigay for our own benefit. Just saying.

          • Shit … sorry, Grifty. Dumb and innocent is a bad look and I am too much of both sometimes.

  5. How long until the woos gush about how inspired they are about Beyoncé and Coldplay’s just-released cultural appropriation porn?

  6. Did she post the stuff about dragging her daughter and daughter’s bf into the MM Masters on fb? If so, I must have missed it / can’t see it. What a loon.

      • Considering how lame most teenagers find their parents, and how happy they are to do the opposite of what their parents suggest, Ali might be a genius. Her daughter is probably locked in her room checking out the requirements for every AP course offered at her school and taking practice SATs right now.

        • Ali DOES NOT want those kids to go to college. She’d have to turn family financial info over to the government in order for the kids to receive aid and would balk when the school would expect her to contribute something. We’re talking about a woman who’s so financially desperate that she strong armed her own mother out of her meager retirement savings.

          • Emancipated minor, file for financial aid independently not easy but but can be done. All the kid would have to do is point to the internet

          • Ali doesn’t want those kids to receive credit card apps, as college kids w/ no income notoriously do, only to find out that their m-o-t-y already possesses cc’s obtained using their ssn’s.

            I’m convinced that Scammy Mammy has hijacked her kids credit ratings potential, she’s that sleazy — when the daughter catches on, Ol’ Raunch will turn it back on her, insisting that it was *for* her — look at all the Costa Rica trips & festivals she got to attend (even though Ali was pimping her out as a babysitter, etc).

          • Ugh, Brayella. I bet you’re right. Looking forward to a self-justifying post about this.

  7. these people are truly woos in every respect. I am not sure why people follow them, honestly. Bewildered truly.

  8. these people are truly woos in every respect. I am not sure why people follow them, honestly. Bewildered truly.

    • So many available men trying to get their licenses renewed following multiple DUIs? Fantastic photo shoot with Debra from Longmont? Thought provoking questions about speed limits in school zones? It is hard to decide what is best about the DMV.

    • because she wants people to think she is still a lawyer who likes doing boring lawyer things– so you don’t have to! now go ahead and give her power of attorney!

      • She’s actually claiming that the fact that she took the time out to go to the DMV herself (she didn’t hire someone to do it for her! Or even make her ex-husband do it!) is proof that she’s no longer a money hungry con, er… lawyer. Buy her services! She won’t cheat you! She goes to the DMV!

          • The woo version of US Magazine’s “Celebrities – They’re Just Like Us!” But with an agenda, of course.

          • I think it is the hallmark of someone never satisfied. She is romanticizing a “common” life because she thinks her life is uncommon or something. People who work for a living don’t have time to wax poetic about the mundane adulting they do.

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