1. THE VOICE Audition / Open Call dates & cities:

    Chicago, IL February 6 & 7, 2016
    Navy Pier (Festival Hall A)
    600 East Grand Ave
    Chicago, IL 60611

    (also Houston, Memphis & Philadelphia, but anyhoo …)

    Go, Donkey!

      • Well, it’s not like she has a man (period) ‘who comes 1st & wants nothing to do w/ a reality show’ to hold her back now …

    • the people on those shows who are objectively unable to carry a tune: i have always wondered, do they know and they just really really really want to be on tv, or do they not know and they really really really want to be on tv

      • Unlike American Idol, The Voice doesn’t air its open call auditions on television. Donkey stands no chance whatsoever making it any further, much less onto tv.

        • yes, and even American Idol usually only shows the really good and really bad contestants during the early rounds

          that being said, the really bad ones also tend to be people who are eccentric or have some strange story about them to make it more amusing when they fail

          i wonder if she is planning to go to auditions and try to attract attention to herself with some kind of crazy costume, etc.

          • A few years ago there was a very mean spirited reality show where they chose the worst singers then encouraged them and coached them in the manner of American Idol. The judges would then praise them and further encourage them. Those people were pretty sure they were talented.

          • moroccan: that is really wrong

            also: CANNOT WAIT to hear what happens next to lah lee

            also, where is beefeater?

      • I beg to differ, but, like the Oprah fiasco, Donkey will pull out once she learns of the Draconian legal contracts involved, i.e., she realizes she doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning.

        • I think she stopped posting those awful recordings because she listened to them and realized she sounded… not good. She was embarrassed and it failed to hit whatever mark for which she was aiming. I have never watched the voice, so I assume they don’t let anyone on who isn’t pretty amazing.

          Maybe Bear needs another fawning backup tool for the Adderall Experience, or whatever.

      • I dunno. Donkey would be just the sort to think that her success in a vocal talent show hinges on her understanding of music theory, because that would be a stupid thing to think.

  2. She’s about as good a singer as me (who was pronounced a droner in 6th grade chorus class and allowed to remain if I only mouthed the words.)

    P.S. Nozzles! O^o

    P.P.S. DONKEY!

    • Haha… that happened to me in 6th grade chorus too! I tried out for a solo and got the only speaking part in the musical 馃槢 My huscat doesn’t even like it when I sing around him at the house.

      • Why sing a song you do not even know? She is constantly looking down at the lyrics. It is bad enough that she can barely carry the tune.

  3. Good Greg Almighty! Maybe I haven’t heard THIS one before? I sure don’t remember it being THAT bad. Geez. She altogether mispronounces hallelujah at around the :54 mark; the caterwauling at the 2:20 mark is just pathetic; again w/ the “halla-hoo-ya” at 3:51; I kan’t go on, it’s so bad … WOW!

    • I know, right? I am an “o-kay” singer (slightly above average) but WOW — I would never tape myself singing a capella and post it on YouTube. I listened to about 30 secs of her and thought: “wow — is she bad!”

      I can only imagine what people who can actually sing — like: grew up singing gospel in the church and all — think! They must be beside themselves w laughter…

      OT — did anyone catch Aretha singing “You Make Me Feel (Like A Natural Woman)” at the Kennedy Center Honors to Carole King? WOW! xoxoo

    • Fremdscham (German): Embarrassment felt on behalf of someone else (often someone so ignorant to what they have done that they don鈥檛 know that they should be embarrassed for themselves); vicarious embarrassment.

    • I am sure that she and Mr. Phutureprimative are happily together still, enjoying laughter filled evenings playing music and singing together. What an amazing couple.

    • Not sure if there was ever any “up” to break except in Donkey’s mind.

      He seems to be an opportunist, girl in every port kinda guy. I’m sure he’s into Donkey for booty calls when he is back in the Bay Area, but I believe any relationship was in her mind and not his.

      I noticed that Momvocado yoohoo’ed Donkey and said she missed and loved her. WTF?

      • Yes, I saw that. Who in her right mind would miss that braying lunatic? Surely not Julie Hagerty’s son?

  4. she’s finally done it…. I’ve followed the donkey show for years, and am always entertained, and love the droll, clever and enlightening commentary, but I’ve been silent until today. THIS IS WHAT FINALLY DROVE ME TO FACE-PALM ON THE INTERNET. I’m from a ‘fuck-you’ (one of the best conservatories in the world) and while I won’t pass judgment on her singing (bad youtube singing is an affliction that many suffer from) BUT HOLY SHIT ALMOST OF A THIRD OF MY CLASS HAD TO DROP OUT BECAUSE THEY FAILED MUSIC THEORY (out of one of the most exclusive conservatories in the world…). One does not simply rapidly learn music theory (although I would LOVE to know what constitutes ‘overarching’) hahahahahahhahahahaaaaaaa….whew that was cathartic.

    • Welcome to the dark side 馃槈

      I wonder where she even picked up the term …? We know she doesn’t google.

    • I love it when lurkers can take no more, and we get to hear why. The trigger for me is the way she underlines the first ten pages of a book, then points to it with one of her tragic index fingers. The way she scribbles about herself in the margins of a self-help book while pretending to be an intellectual KILLS ME.

      • I fucking love when lurkers crack! I start to think we are the same ten people arguing with each other. Then BAM someone comes out who has been there all along.

        Although, now I am creeped out.

        Anywho, re: book! and finger:
        I did a deep clean/reorganize on my bookshelf (which was absolutely buried) and tossed out a lot of old school books. Like, I am never going to fucking read ‘Rodrick Hudson’ again. Except maybe in hell. Anyway…

        I cackled because there were notations in and on the book that were not from me, and some were kind of funny. I wanted to snap a picture — because that is what one does, right? Snap picture of book? — of the notations and post to IG.

        Do you know how fucking hard it is to hold open a book and point to an annotation and snap a picture? IT’S SO HARD. Like, trying to get a clear picture of the words was a pain in the ass, because text + one-handed picture snapping + trying to use focus = blurry.

        Also, my fingers looked fug as fuck.

        It’s all there on the IG, though, with hashtags only catladies would get.


    • something i’ve long wondered about rock and roll, other pop music; are they savants who just hear things the rest of us don’t and they proceed without theory, or do they have to know theory?

      my grandmother could play from the piano fakebook and by ear; that ability did not come down to me.

      • Yes, there are brilliant savants who can pick up just about anything (its not even necessarily that they have perfect pitch, but more an ability to hear and replicate patterns). Classical musicians often have more of a difficulty with that because we’re trained to always be perfect, and learn from the score, whereas blues/rock/etc have a tradition of learning ‘by ear’ which allows for far fewer inhibitions.

      • Yes. I wrote a book about Elvis Presley… and he had perfect pitch. He could sing opera, gospel, R+B, the theme from the Flintstones… and it all sounded absolutely stunning — no backup band, nothing.

        Interestingly, he couldn’t read music, but if he heard it once, he had it. Or if you listen to someone like Keith Richards play the guitar, they “hear” things that most of us might not. Same w Frank Sinatra (for example).

        It’s like a painter. Or a chef. Or a really great writer.

      • To make a lot of basic music, you really only need a rudimentary knowledge of music theory. In fact, sometimes geeking out on too much theory can hamper someone when they obsess about it vs. just playing and listening to yourself and others.

        Most amateur musicians just learn as much theory as they need to do what they want. The music theory comes in the process of learning the instrument. If you want to learn to play sophisticated jazz leads on guitar, that yeah, you will have to learn something about theory. But if you’re just going to play three chord songs and sing with friends, you don’t need to know very much about it. Who knows what the hell she wants to do? I’d imagine it’s more along the lines of the three chord songs, though, and not sophisticated jazz leads. So she’s talking out her ample ass again as usual.

        • In the pop/rock/ r&b idiom, believe me, no one knows how to read music and no one cares. “Does this part sound good?” is how song are made. Piece by piece.By ear.

          Reading music and music theory are nice cool things But not much to do with how most music is actually made. Julia seeking a guru to teach her music theory is hilarious though.

    • I can feel her jealous rage as she reads your post wanting to appropriate your obvious talent for herself. What she tends to miss is that even people with raw talent work hard, as I’m sure you do and have done in the past. She wants to pose with a new prop because she can only play faux thupermodel posing next to BOOK for so long, even she’s bored with herself.

      • Oh, I realize I probably sounded insufferable talking about my school, but it’s just the contrast between the tears and misery over music theory classes (which happens at any conservatory really, although not for all students) and her breezy, idiotic post. *This* is what I’m jealous of….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3Cb1qwCUvI

        • And thanks everyone for the warm welcome! I admire all you clever cat-ladies, and have stolen many a book recommendation or sensible tip from your comments….

        • No, you sound amazing and like you’ve worked your ass off, not at all insufferable. You’re just adding context to the justification of your well-written response to La Donk.

          • Thanks! I do work really hard, and have had plenty of rejection and reevaluation that comes with the profession to show for it. So much so that I, not being a deluded fool, realized I did not have what it takes to make a career out of music, and started grad school in a professional field. 2/3 done and going well because, although I’m not the smartest in the class, I work hard. I think I’m drawn to this site and community because it does keep me and any delusions of grandeur I might harbor in check.

          • Hey, this is OT, but are you watching / have you seen Mozart in the Jungle? Streams on Amazon & sounds right up your alley.

        • I really admire real musicians – I didn’t have what it took. I still love music but know I am the audience, not the performer. I think your path sounds really interesting and you don’t sound insufferable to me at all.

          • Yeah, I watched the first two episodes, and want to go back for more. My first reaction was ‘this is too corny for words’ (the hot young oboist who suddenly makes it) and my second was ‘wow, this is real life,’ especially about the young maestro.

    • I switched my major from Music to Chemistry, because organic chemistry is way easier than music theory!

    • For real. Huscat is a professional, serious musician and he has been practicing virtually non stop for about 25 years and continues to practice every single day to perfect his skills. Not to mention went to school for multiple degrees in music and has traveled extensively to seek out masters in his area of focus. So I’m sure donkey will be an expert, like really rapidly.

      • Would your musical huscat feel into holding space for an internationally recognized journalist/entrepreneur/thought leader to learn overarching music theory? Perhaps he could give 5-6 hours of his ample free time to teach an exuberant force of love everything you need to know about music.

      • People who are professional musicians are in the same league as professional athletes for me. It takes the same amount of discipline.

        Julia is looking for the 2015 kidult version of MTV’s Made

  5. If you haven’t seen Fozzie’s angry screed on FB, it’s epic. He’s over the woo crowd, and he gets sort of brutal in the comments. And it seems like Shanti is talking about him on her page, too. They’re a mature bunch, these grifters.

    • Look at all the fucking Facebook drama in which these supposed adults engage. That self-serving Bryan Franklin reply? If I posted a status which seemed concerning (which, nothing about Fozzie’s status seems concerning to me, but I guess it would be a cry for help from a woo perspective), you know what my friends would do? They would reach out to me personally via text, email, or call. Just a, “hey, saw what you wrote on Facebook – everything okay? Gimme a ring if you want to talk.” Bryan Franklin and the woos have no interest in hearing about where Fozzie’s head is these days and how he got there.

      • I just said to another RBDer how amazing it is that people play these things out on social media in the first place. But all of the woos commenting on his post and saying EXACTLY what he said he doesn’t want to hear? They keep coming at him with the nonsensical language he’s fleeing.

        • The woo’s appear to reject his recent (and much needed) deprogramming.

        • I die.

          Shawna K眉nkel I
          s it safe to say the music career is over?

          Michael Jacobs
          Michael Jacobs It’s only begun.

          Shawna K眉nkel
          Shawna K眉nkel Can’t win them all!

          Michael Jacobs
          Michael Jacobs I’m not here to win anything.

      • Although young and an exceedingly bad rapper, I never thought Fozzie was a bad guy. I bet he will look back on this period of his life and do a lot of cringing. (As well he should.)

      • I guess Fozzie won’t be pre-sold book #10,001 for Mr. Franklin and Mr. Mesh shirt. I’d be curious if they’re gaming the system with pre-orders to hit #1 best seller, then the books are returned after they hit the #1 list. Many of you on here could speak to that much better than I could, though. Frauds of a feather…

    • ****** E * P * I * C ******

      Ali Shanti
      Perhaps loving yourself as you are is exactly what spirituality actually is and I 100% trust your journey. Sending you full love whether you want it or not.
      Like 路 Reply 路 26 mins

      Michael Jacobs
      Perhaps I actually went deep enough to discover truth while all you “spiritual” people sit on the surface and pretend everything is fucking great while you’re really just fucking miserable behind you computers making money – pretending everything is fucking peachy in the world.

      The world includes ALL of us Ali. Not just the spiritual bubble you’ve decided to create for yourself.
      Like 路 Reply 路 13 mins

      Ali Shanti
      Sometimes I am fucking miserable and sometimes I am full of joy, never pretending everything is fucking peachy in the world. My heart aches for what is happening in the world, and right now for the pain you are feeling as well.

      Jean Brodie
      Returning to the real world and thumbing your nose at the faux spiritual woo grifters? There might be hope for you yet, Michael.
      Like 路 Reply 路 15 mins 路 Edited

    • Fozzie’s thread is hilarious. Lots of age appropriate peeps who knew him in the day saying thank god, welcome back, let’s have a beer combined with the woo grifters offering all kinds of sanctimonious bs and him rejecting it. I mean, he’s a 24-year-old Cali kid. Go get high with your bros. God bless.

    • Sharing is caring….

      The last 3 years, I was on a serious mission.

      A mission to discover what the fuck I was doing on this planet.

      It was muddled with egotistic cries for help through entrepreneurial ventures, world travels, and much more.

      What’d I find?

      This is all a bunch a bullshit.

      There is no looking for God.

      There is no looking for happiness.

      There is no “spiritual” practice or experience that will bring you closer to “God.”

      There is only you.

      And the more you can love yourself for exactly how you were created, the more the world will shift.

      In other words, I’m done with this spiritual bullshit for a while.

      So don’t hit me up asking if I felt some solar flares 100,000 miles away or if Archangel Michael sent me any messages lately.

      If you want to grab a beer, smoke a joint, chill the fuck out, and talk about how awesome being a human is, that is very welcomed.

  6. wait a minute, I thought she used to have friends, roommates, etc. who were in the music business (at least tangentially), so why does she need to make this general announcement on social media?

    not just ask her peeps directly?

    I smell somethin’-a-brewin’

    • Right, wouldn’t Flusher Price be someone who could teach her overarching music theory? The ability to pluck out a few tunes on a keyboard? Why is she crowdsourcing this bonkers shit? What is wrong with her?

      • Or her lov-ah, Jess “Caterwauler” Johnson? That post was a yoo hoo to some unsuspecting musician mark.

  7. I remember trying out for chorus in 4th grade not really because I liked to sing, but because it’s what you did if you didn’t want to play an instrument (those were the two options in a public grade school in the 70’s where dance, was sadly not an option).
    My parents didn’t encourage or discourage my singing prior to this tryout (if they’d ever even heard it). I was painfully shy as a child.

    The instructor went around the room and made us sing one at a time and separated the kids in two groups. He made my side sing then the other side. There was an audible, unmistakable distinction between the two groups. It was a humiliating event; but, I had no idea prior to that day I’m tone deaf and can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

    There were several important lessons learned though like handling rejection, adaptability and finding my voice (just not for singing). It taught me to focus on other areas of strengths, I tried drums first since an instrument was the only other option (my parents were never going to go for that long term) but I knew my heart was in dancing, even though it wasn’t an option.

    I wasn’t a special snowflake, in fact, I felt like a failure & outcast. I asked my mom if there was a way I could take dance so we tried to get the school to offer dance, but it wasn’t in the school’s budget. The school did, however, agree to allow myself and a few other interested students to leave school early once a week to take dance across town.

    When children don’t understand rejection, adaptability, and hard work, well then, they come adults who are featured on a website that points out what others should have long ago. Thanks for indulging a trip down memory lane.

    • We don’t hear much about Julia’s childhood extracurricular pursuits aside from high school debate and ballet in grade school (really not that notable for a privileged suburban white girl back then; ballet lessons were to 80s girls what intramural soccer is to the girls of today). And, to be honest, I think she lies about how long she studied ballet, because for such a performance-centric hobby, and for a woman who loves posting photos of herself, we have seen very few photos of that time.

      What did child Julia DO with all her time? She claims she was a voracious reader, but I’ve never heard her talk about a single book she loved as a child.
      I have some young cousins in grade school, and they are bursting with personality and likes and dislikes. My guess is Donkey’s parents never pushed her to stick with a hobby or polish a skill, or gently encouraged her to try this or that. The result being the dilettante childwoman we see today, who not only thinks she can “hack” her way into mastery of a subject, but has zero idea about how to approach and learn a new subject on her own – she just wants to crowdsource for the private tutor with the fanciest pedigree to tell her exactly what to do, and then charge it all to Daddy at the end.

  8. OT- fozzie’s recent FB rant (about leaving the spirituality b.s.) continues to blow up with comments, including one just a few minutes ago from his ex whatever-you-call-her

    you can’t make stuff up this good!

    • seriously- he and she are now going at it back and forth in real time- fire up the popcorn before it’s to late

      • That entire thread is a thing of beauty.

        Jean Brodie Now hold on. Ali Shanti is sitting behind her computer making money? If she were truly pulling in 35K/mo with the money map scam, why are there still beach towels instead of curtains in the master bedroom?

        • She doesn’t sell anything or else the negative reviews would be off.the.charts. The idea that unless she gave it for free (humm) and demanded positive responses, no one would ever comment.
          Also, she wouldn’t manic panic change names, ideas etc. if even one of these scams was working.

  9. She’s always looking for the next best distraction. Yoga, dancing, music… why not just get a real job and have a real career. Then worry about your hobbies?

  10. Fozzie says that he is a “Coach and Bestselling Author” — how is the possible? Has he ever even written a book?
    Like the trained musicians wrote earlier — these people make me insane. To my understanding, so say that one is a Bestselling Author, you have to be an actual bestselling author — like — on the list! If you are a NYT Bestselling Author (and they can check), then you put that. Or Amazon. Or Barnes and Noble… or whatever.
    These people make me crazy. Why do I let myself get upset over their nonsense?

    • There are people who have never read a single book who spend a week or two writing ridiculous romance novels/porn, self publish them and then claim that they are bestsellers. I have no idea how it works.

      I have so much respect for people who write well, including our RBD authors. Fozzie is just a ridiculous human being.

    • Someone explained how this works a while back. Apparently, you self publish your book and catalog it under an obscure category that you specify on Amazon, let’s say ‘navel-gazing basket weavers.’ Your book may only sell 10 copies, however if it has sold the most in the navel-gazing basket weavers category, you can claim it is a best-seller. It’s really stupid.

      • I’m friends with someone who self-published (a very good book, actually) and is consistently a best-seller in a particular category. It’s not super obscure, but it is specific. When it works out for a person I care for, I’m glad and think it’s great, but what the woos do is flat-out cheating.

      • That was me. If it’s a Kindle book, scammers make it free and badger everyone they’ve ever met to download it. Or spend days making new accounts to download it. It’s gross and depressing

  11. The action right now is on Fozzie. He and SK3000B are dusting it up on Facebook. I feel him coming to the basement. Eh, Fox, first round is on me!! Golly, this is right up your alley!

  12. OT: Craymas keeps getting better and better. Skankatrons
    And Majii are fighting on Majii’s fb page. I will try to screenshot Gilly before it gets deleted. Majii is renouncing fake woo bullshit, for which Jean Brodie has applauded him. My New Year is complete.

  13. ::::screeching::::: comments coming too fast and furious to screenshot. All the woo throwing shade on each other. Tiny n Cute even got a zinger in. Maji told some woo to quit pretending to be friends because dude is only friendly if you put 10k in his bank account. Jean Brodie is egging everyone on. Someone asks maji if this means his music career is over. I’m going to Disney Land!!!!!!!

    • I love it when a woo goes feral.

      It’s like the Care Bears version of The Wicker Man.

      That Bryan Franklin is a fucking turd.

      • BF is the greg damn worst, well, perhaps #2 because Ben Rode holds pride of place, and, as LakeWoo notes above, Fozzie exposed that sleazy flim flam man’s true colors:

        Ben Rode
        There is only you. And you have always been there. Even when you were trying to find you.
        Love you, brother.

        Michael Jacobs
        Dude, don’t feed me some more bullshit.

        If you loved me, you would have been there when I was reaching out for help. But you didn’t give a shit unless you had 10k in your bank account before the phone call.

        So don’t try and manipulate me into that shit again.

        Ben Rode
        Wow. Let me know when Michael is back. What a twisted response…

        Jean Brodie
        10K per individual con?! That’s even steeper than any of Ali Shanti’s fluctuating money map tiers!

        • Ali Shanti
          Michael Jacobs, I’m not sure where your comment came from on this but my memory is that Ben Rode was there for you (for us) repeatedly and I never paid Ben a penny for his love, care, guidance, and support. Thank you Ben. Grateful for you and your heart.

          • She forgot to add “with softness”.

            Majiiiiiiiiii’s post already has 288 likes. When was the last time that Donkerina got that many likes? We all know the answer is never.

            Now one Kevin Kurgansky (no idea who he is) wrote a very duplicitous multi-paragraph post telling Majiiiiiiii that he shouldn’t speak ill of the woo in public.

            He forgot to add it is because it hurts the bottomline of his woo business, but we all know that is what he meant.

          • Last time Julia Allison, thothial media ecthpert, got 288 ‘LIKES” is, coincidentally, the last time Dad$er’s money paid for that many fans in the ‘stans like one of her bi-weekly profile picture changes.

        • Jeez, sounds like Michael was less of a love interest and more of a mark for Ali and her woo grifter set. Poor guy. No wonder he is so angry.

          • @grammarian SK3B is a low-level con artist that lives in a house with plywood for flooring, i.e. for her “money” maybe 200K in a retirement account, which Majiiiiiiiiiiiii’s parents probably had. No target is too small for SK3B.

            I always thouht MJ was going to wake up and, since he is so young, this is just a hiccup in the long future he has ahead of him.

        • Ben helpfully corrected Jean Brodie that he only charges $500 to answer the phone, not 10k. Then he posted private texts between him and Fozzie to prove that he texts for free. Then skankatron called Jean Brodie a troll and told Ben not to engage with her anymore. But at least Ben was able to clear that up for us.

          • Seriously, I’m supposed to believe that he’s a totally decent above board kind of guy because he didn’t charge for what appear to be innocuous, personal texts? Yeah, you’re a saint, Ben Rhoades. Let us know when the Nobel committee gets back to you.

      • Care Bears Version of the Wicker Man. I’m laughing so hard!

        • This is all golden and hilarious, I’m not on FB so I appreciate these updates. Hysterical! , as a certain donkey would bray..

    • Even the people who “support” him have no idea what he’s talking about, and don’t understand that they’re part of what he’s trying to get away from:

      Lucia Gabriela
      I am with you! I don’t call myself “spiritual” I am an Orgasmic Conscious Lover and the answer is not outside – it is inside of you.

      FYI, this person is “Love Priestess at Our Sacred Love Temple, CEO and Founder at Beyond Healthy Beyond Beautiful and Motivational Speaker at Lucia Gabriela” and whose most recent FB post is this crazy TL;DR screed that I’m posting in full:


      For the past few years, I have been healing, clearing, uncreating and destroying all those belief systems around “money”

      Money….. “The bad guy”……

      The believe that’s money is the evil of all, fuck that!
      The believe money does not grow on trees, fuck that!
      The believe money corrupt the soul, fuck that!
      The believe money is earn when you work hard or smart, fuck that!
      The believe money is a tool to get what you want, fuck that!
      The believe money cannot buy happiness, fuck that!
      The believe money cannot heal the body, fuck that!

      I have been surrounded these beliefs my whole entire life and I have seen the power they have over people – the power of destruction.

      Money has been corrupted on its true power of creation. It has being corrupted by the MIND of those who want the rest to live in disempowerment, disbelief and distrust of their own fucking powerful creative power to get what they truly want.

      Money is a powerful energy of healing for healing, it is the energy that burn all your egos to the core of your existence and purify you to find your divinity.

      Money is so powerful that only appears and manifest when you allow it to, when you claim it as part of your existence, when you become one with it and when you have burnt all that bullshit of being a non creator.

      When you truly tear down the veil of these corruptive thoughts – money, abundance, prosperity will manifest to you as you wish.

      Money is here to serve you not the other way around. Ask this amazing golden energy for what you want from a place of acknowledging YOU ARE POWERFUL AND DIVINE.

      Stop… I repeat again…STOP CANCEL & DESTROY this “apologetical feeling” of asking for what you want…

      I have done this my whole life – asking from a place of apology and shame. This is more than a worthiness issue, even when you become aware of your worthiness you may still feel incapable of ASKING for what you want…money is an energy that let us see with clarity what we need to burn.

      Money trigger fears…. Fears to live the life you truly want. And because others with MIND power had brainwashed us with these stupid belief systems – We see money as a necessity to make ends meet or get by while we wish to have what others have and we get so ducking jealous for what they have because the more they have the more they get – And the reason why they have more is because they focus on having more! Very simple

      So now let’s breakdown above statements:

      A) money is the evil of all – fuck that! – money purifies worthiness, shame, jealousness, self distrust, lack of self believe, manipulation, guilt, ego selfishness and corrupted sexuality.

      B) money does not grow on trees – fuck that! – money paper comes from trees ? gold come from earth, which indicate money is created from all creative elements. Cacao was the money of Ancient Incan Civilizations, go figure!

      C) money corrupt the soul – fuck that! – actually money clean the soul from egos, how you purge them is the healing journey you are on and your conscious evolution. Money will burn your egos on fire by giving you hell on earth and force you to surrender to your own resistances created by your mind. Stop the thought that does not allow you to believe on your creative power. Stop it today!!

      D) money is earn when you work hard or smart – fuck that! – get clear with what you want, be in alignment with your higher purpose, focus on what makes your heart orgasmic and money/abundance/prosperity will manifest. Simple and cheese!

      E) money is a tool to get what you want – fuck that! – money is energy, it’s part of you and in service for you
      BE IT!

      F) money cannot buy happiness – fuck that! -focus on what you want and brings you happiness and money will flow into you to do more of what brings you happiness.

      G) money cannot heal the body – fuck that! – heal your money issues and destroy all your belief systems around money and you will feel your body healing itself because you have reached inner consciousness and become a knower of your power and how orgasmic creator of your reality you are. With that, you can heal yourself of it all! – Simple as cheese

      Heal your money issues,
      Ask for what you want,
      Be clear with what you want,
      Be RAW and fearless with what you want,
      ALLOW ALLOW ALLOW and receive because you are so freaking amazing!

      Love you and ORGASMIC NEW YEAR!

      Lucia Gabriela

  14. Oh sorry I had not read up thread before posting. You guys found it first. But HOT DAMN! (And in the interest of being fair and balanced, the Fozz is tots behaving like a four year old on that thread…….he is throwing a tantrum and enjoying the attention, in spite of his protestations. Widddlest baby has his bottle; there there go sleepy time.

    (Is it not also fecking weird that he renounced woodom less than 24 hours after he posted that he was re-opening his “Guided Meditation” channel on YouTube?

    And by the way, Skanks wants to sell both her businesses. I guess it’s time for new curtains.

    2016 was going to be the year I broke my internetz addiction but maybe not……….

    • Is a lot of it down now? I only saw one comment exchange with Ali.

      • Winchy, expand the Ben Rode comment that’ 14 hrs old.
        (also see above my last comment under Gilly’s)

    • Kevin Kurgansky dresed him down re: the hostile responses.
      I know of a few cranks who could benefit from KK’s advice …

      • TY Bray, and none of these people have any real talent or skills sets. What is with all this “coaching?” They all just need to get jobs. Fozzie hasn’t crossed the ultimate line yet, mentioning this place.

      • for added entertainment value, as you scroll through the comments, click on the “likes” thumb for each one, and you get a snapshot of who is on who’s side

        my guess is that the “likes” also represent the same type of people who would be in the audience for the seminar-lecture-class-etc. being put on by the person making the comment

      • Was Wali one of Burra鈥檚 paid fans that became sentient

        You don’t know how delicious I find that idea. I’m giggling uncontrollably.

  15. Meanwhile. Donkey recycles a 2 year old New Year’s Eve pic, and claims she texted a founder for a life-planning form that she would have found right on his company’s Facebook page. “YOO HOO, HIVE FOUNDER!”

    Maybe the Burra stays in her stall for th first NYE in forever?

    • I wonder what her 2016 goals are? In true Donkey fashion, name-dropping is more important than the task at hand.

      Will book be published? What do you suppose is the likelihood that a manuscript (however partially baked) was ever submitted?

      What’s the plan now, Julia?

    • That template is making my head hurt. What will she fill in the field that says “My purpose”? the epiphanies she had during Tony Robbins woo scam? Will she really write down that her life purpose is to “share love and be an inspiration” like she claimed a couple of weeks ago? that’s what a 35 year old woman would write down?!

      Also, for a quick second, can I rage about her previous post pontificating about the death of McDonald’s and sharing a news item about “fast food” by the chefs of Eleven Madison Park?! Is she so fucking detached from the world and tone deaf?!

    • I love the way her once-precious ritual of making New Year’s resolutions has transformed (transcended!!!) into “setting intentions.” So freaking pretentious. Somewhere Mary Rambin is laughing. One hopes.

      • Meanwhile, a Tiny n Cute ten years her junior manages to breezily jot off, from her flight no less, a thoughtful, well-written Facebook post reflecting on the pitfalls of her past year and the subsequent lessons learned. I know some of the cat ladies are skeptical of TnC, but her post shows way more humility and authenticity than Julia ever has, and she doesn’t need some bullshit NYE resolution or intention-setting ritual to identify her desires or growth areas, either. Because people who are truly committed to personal development recognize you need to follow through every day, not just arbitrarily at the beginning of the calendar year.

    • Best ever, by my reckoning. Ringing in the new year with homelessness, zero prospects, and schisms in the woo world!

    • More than 16+ hrs after YooHooing a boy, that omg flounder has neither “liked” nor responded to the post D0nkey tagged him in — her 2015 is ending on a very flat note (see what I did there, D0nkey?) — Valentines & Birthcray shoul be epic.

      • Who do you think you are?! Julia is on a first-name basis with Ryan, dear Ryan, founder of Hive and no one who would ever the donkey.

        • As if Donkey would ever be part of Hive. She would never qualify. All she’s doing is asserting she is part of his circle of friends so people think she is part of Hive.

          One notable person part of Hive is the Levi guy, the founder of Camp Grounded, who Donkey also sucks up to online whenever she can. I wonder if Levi is still falling for giving her a free ride on the camp tuition or whether he’s figured out she is full of shit yet?

          • I’m pretty sure he also went to the Tony Robbins event a few weeks back. So, he’s a woo with an Ivy pedigree (or, I suppose, an Ivy with some woo leanings). Perfect Donkey bait.

      • There was a ’40s revival for a bit in the 1970s that was echoed in some of the clothing. I remember having some really cool outfits back then. Halter tops were really big, also dolman sleeves, which I loved. Big wide legged pants, high waisted pants with vests or sleeveless sweaters with long sleeved shirts under them. Platform shoes. Short shorts (“hot pants”) with halter tops, tube tops. Crocheted vests, long sleeveless tunics. Sweetheart necklines and puffed sleeves. Big bell-bottomed jeans. Wrap dresses (the DVF style was great).

        • Oh, and in the early 70s I had this fab hippie coat I bought in Montreal. It was calf length rust colored suede with snaps up the front, and on the back was a scene of a sun rising in contrasting cut out pieces of suede. I’d die for that coat now. I wore it with granny boots, which were dark brown and laced all the way up to my knee. Very Stevie Nicks.

  16. OT: Loving this comment between Fozzie and BF:

    Michael Jacobs Cool. I will. And while you judge me for drinking a beer, enjoy your 5 hits of Molly and running around half naked trying to impress every woman you see.

    Oh…and keep calling it “enlightenment.”

    Like I said, talk to me in a year bro.

    • He has a point. It always drives me crazy when faux-hippies criticize people for drinking while messing with their brains with hallucinogenic drugs. Hard drinking isn’t good for you, but dropping acid and molly on the regular isn’t either. Get off your woo-horses!

  17. My NYE wish is that Fozzie come to the basement and reveal all.

    I really do wish him the best. It is easy to get wrapped up in the wrong crowd when you are vulnerable. Glad to see he saw the light.

    • Fozzie is immature even for his young age. He’s throwing a four year old tantrum all over Facebook because he didn’t get his own way about something (precisely what that is has yet to be revealed; I’m deeply curious as to how he goes from re-opening his guided meditation YouTube channel to renouncing all things woo in less than 24 hours).) he is enjoying all the attention he is getting from his foot stomping, despite his protestations. He is a narcissist just like the rest of them; clearly coddled by his parents (sound familiar?) who are letting him live in their basement rent free as far as we know. My 23 year old daughter has a graduate degree that she financed all by herself, a job with health insurance and a pension plan, and her own car and credit score. She works with kids from the wrong side of the tracks. My 21 year old son just received a research grant that he applied for without the benefit Of “coaching” or money maps for a project to combat climate change. So yes, “kids” in their early 20s aren’t necessarily irresponsible buffoons like the kissing booth entrepreneurial growling white rapper. I am enjoying this Epic thread (probably more than any of you) but let’s not lionize the Pimp Lion just because he’s having a junior high level snark fest with the rest of his maturity- stunted self absorbed “friends”.

      • I, too, was interested in how the Foz got from point A (I will guide meditations again! for money presumably) to point B (rejection of all things woo) pretty much overnight.

        I am enjoying his snit fit, though. It’s a wonderful play with cameos by many characters I have come to know and not love. Happy New Year to all–catpeeps and characters in our soap opera alike!

        • He’s scary when he’s angry. I believe there’s a used car saleswoman who can attest to that.

  18. After seeing Tiny ‘N’ Cute mentioned above, I clicked over to her Facebook page to see how she’s doing. She is moving to LA and wrote a long post about spending the last few months with family, getting over her terrible year. In part:

    “…After 5 years in 3 massively painful open relationships (which I am very grateful for, but will never do again, at least not until long after I meet my babydaddy & build a solid long-term relationship & have kids), I realized that I don’t want to be too deeply intertwined in the Burning Man / Bay Area community I was in before, where one of the main pillars is polyamory. I feel the adolescent male ego’s desire for unfettered access to sex underlies & drives a lot of the dynamics; even (and often especially) the ones that come in pretty, spiritual, successful, powerful, “conscious” packages.
    I feel many dirty-sticky-nasty truths are glossed over in the promotion of polyamory. I think it’s a spectrum, like being gay or straight… some people are inherently very poly, some are inherently very monogamous, and there’s everything in between, depending on your unique design. It’s not a question of which way is right or wrong, more evolved or less evolved. It’s whatever works best for YOU. I want to focus my energy on helping sick, homeless and war-torn people; not investing myself in a community where so many brilliant, wealthy people spend so much time and energy constantly breaking their own and each other’s hearts, then endlessly processing it… and not holding each other accountable when someone treats a beloved really badly, because of the “anything goes” atmosphere. (::cough::)”

    I like that girl and wish her all the best.

    • I echo your sentiment in liking her & wishing her all the best.

      San Francisco sounds even more so the least likely place for D0nk to lock down a man who’ll walk down the bridle path w/ her — she really should move to Alaska or some other remote place where straight men outnumber straight women 4;1.

    • Eh, I liked her when she first showed up in the basement, but I can’t get stay on board the Caeli bandwagon. It’s been, what, nine months since Rain dumped her, and she’s still lashing out at him and his friends? A little obessessive and rage-beasty, if you ask me. I feel like I have a bit more insight into why Rain could tolerate rebound sex with someone like Julia.

      Also, after three miserable heartbreaks in the poly community, her takeaway is that she’s going to wait until she has a baby daddy and kids before dipping her toes in the open relationship waters again. Um, let us know in ten years how those family values worked out for you, honey.

      • I will always feel bad about how Julia & Ali manipulated her, but I agree, while she’s cuter than Julia, she too is a woo. Next.

      • “It鈥檚 been, what, nine months since Rain dumped her, and she鈥檚 still lashing out at him and his friends?”

        You know I love the catpeeps, but I hope you had a least a little queer feeling of irony as you wrote the above on a seven-year-old website dedicated to throwing shade at a woman that many basement dwellers have never even met.

        • You don’t necessarily need to “meet” Julia to study her pathological unethical & now illegal actions, which makes this site of seven years (I think I log three and have not met her) interesting, at least, to me. A basic woo with low self-esteem offers zero appeal in contrast.

      • Eh, I can give her a pass. Scrolling through her facebook it doesn’t look like she’s been harping on the breakup consistently. Coming the week of NYE, this post seems more of a “what I learned this year”/new year’s resolution type post rather than rehashing an old break up.
        Basically, T-n-C is still cool with me.

    • “I feel the adolescent male ego鈥檚 desire for unfettered access to sex underlies & drives a lot of the dynamics.”

      Wait a sec: young guys want to have sex with multiple women? And some of them lie to get it???

      My mind is blown.

    • Nailed It:
      I want to focus my energy on helping sick, homeless and war-torn people; not investing myself in a community where so many brilliant, wealthy people spend so much time and energy constantly breaking their own and each other鈥檚 hearts, then endlessly processing it鈥

        • I agree. I empathize quite a bit with TnC. I am 32, but I work with quite a few people her age. She shows quite a bit more self-possession and self-awareness than most of the younger Millennials I have met, and she seems to be more open to listening to critical feedback. I don’t think it’s odd to still be smarting 9 months later over a relationship which lasted for 20% of her life, especially if that relationship a) ended with a betrayal of trust, and b) involved her entire immediate social circle. Maybe she shouldn’t be engaging in public Facebook drama either, but I’ll cut her slack.

  19. …. And also, Ali’s recent plea for donations for Syrian refugees smacks of “I do TOO care about the world and stuff!” Even when these gross people are pretending to care about something other than their own grifts– it’s still really all about them and another calculated ploy. I’m waiting for her to deliver a bunch of
    Money maps to the camps.

      • I think they might be doing some sort of update. It’s not visible on mine either.

    • Who needs a fucking ‘goal setting template’? Who needs to advertise who gave it to them?

      She’s so fucking… lame. It’s not even fun to make fun of her anymore. Will you all still talk to me if I just come here for the OTs? Donkey is just too pathetic to care about anymore.

      • It’s also not a particularly great goal-setting template? The only person who is going to find this beneficial is the type of person who doesn’t need a template to walk them through a goal-setting process. Super skeletal.

  20. Thought I’d try watching the video…moved the cursor to some point randomly about 2 minutes in. Literally made it less than half a second and said out loud, reflexively “Nope can’t do it” and clicked away.

  21. Happy New Year to all the Cat Ladies!

    And thanks to Gilly, Jacy and JP for keeping the basement alive.


  22. I don’t recognize the scenery — is Nehi back in CA w/out La Donk?
    Ya’ll suppose that means Donk is staying in Chicago indefinitely?

    • People who take separate vacations sometimes return home at different times. We have no proof she was at home w/Donkey. Airport pics may or may not have been taken by her. They both could have coincidentally been flying out of SFOat the same time, too.

      Pictures posted on Facebook aren’t always current. Sometimes they are old pictures newly posted. Sometimes they are new. Unless they comment it is impossible to tell.

      tl;dr version: I don’t think we can conclude anything from Nehi’s post.

        • Yeah. That was on December 22. Before the photos at home showing no sign of Nehi. Before no mention of Nehi for the past ten days.

          Sorry to spoil your gotcha moment. Happy New Year!

          • Would anyone really be surprised if she hectored some random stranger to take photos of her in various stages of lunacy at the airport and then email/text them to her? Of course she would.

          • I can also see her shoving her camera or iphone into some strangers hands while hee-hawing “Take my picture! Take my picture!”
            The advantage of this strategy is when she expends the goodwill of one person she can move on to someone else.

    • Also impossible to conclude from this that Donkey is staying in Chicago indefinitely. We have no idea where she is moving next. She probably doesn’t know yet herself.

    • We never saw anything proving that Neha ever left CA. Many speculated, but that she was the one taking Donkey’s airport pics, but she didn’t appear in any of them and Donkey never mentioned her. The last time we saw mention of Neha was the SF Christmas party and Donkey has never been above asking strangers to take pictures for her.

  23. More than 2000 people signed up for Ali Ashanti’s fake business woo call and in the same breath she’s about to see her “businesses.” Is she the scammiest, most lyingest woo who ever wooed with turkey feathers in her hair and STDs galore??

    • I noticed in her last post of the year she once again blamed unnamed business partners for why her businesses are failing to make bank. Some bozo causes $80,000 worth of damage to her business! What’s a grifter to do?
      It’s always someone else’s fault. If it weren’t for all these terrible partners Shamti would be living the swinging millionaire lifestyle.

      • Poor wittle Shanti! Maybe Fozzie learned how to throw a full-scale tantrum from his former lov-ah?

        “The year began with my operational partners leaving me with a huge mess, $80,000 in refunds to clean up and very little in the way of systems or well trained team to help me do it.

        Then, I stepped back in as CEO in my other company and discovered quite the team and systems mess over there as well.

        On top of all of it, my daughter began to hit her teen years full on and I was navigating the reality of facing the hardest truths a parent can imagine.”

        • Why would anyone want to do business with her when she is constantly revealing that her company is in shambles?

          • I just gotta JFA to say, not only that she reveals her business is in shambles, but is the irony completely lost on her that her business itself is centered around helping other people make sound business decisions regarding legal and financial matters? It is just the most insane thing ever. “Here, I am going to sell you a foolproof blueprint for how to succeed in business. Pay no attention to the woo behind the beach towel curtains who is failing financially and likely to file bankruptcy for the umpteenth time very soon.”

  24. Hi everyone. I am not dead. I just have the same work ethic as my author at book at St. Martin’s Press.
    She went to Chicago last week and I have been trying to write myself since then, but there have been Lifetime movies and broken pencils and a general exhaustion that prevent me from fulfilling my goals.
    Next week, or maybe the week after, I will write the hell out of myself.

    • can I say that I’m actually sad that this book isn’t getting published? that piece of shit would have sustained us for MONTHS. imagine how amazingly terrible and hack-y it would have been, how many book signings where no one shows up, the no press and no or terrible reviews, etc etc etc. I was really looking forward to it.

      does anyone still have her book proposal? I never read it at the time but would love to now. still on vaca for a few more days 馃檪

          • It is truly amazing. WP (I think?) very kindly sent the file to me a long time ago, and it has been sitting on my desktop since then. I admit I have probably STILL not read it in its entirety, but I read and re-read some bits now and then and they never fail to crack me up. SO unbelievably bad. Bonus: she truly has NO idea how terrible that writing is, does she?

            It’s like she’s attempting something that is supremely lame in itself, but she is SO failing at it. It’s art.

            Oh, and BTW, on page 7 she claims she read Gone with the Wind “four times as a tween.”

          • She is so fixated on getting engaged in this. So cringey. Like on page 9 – “I鈥檒l settle for “getting proposed to one day'” ugh.

        • THAT WAS THREE FREAKING YEARS AGO!! What she’s proposing is such a piece of fluff most half decent writers could have churned it out five times over by now, but Donkey can’t even bang out one full draft. CWAA.

          • don’t you have some bills to pay? why do you still care? BOOK IS DEAD AND BOOK IS NEVER EVER COMING BACK

      • I feel the same way, Donkin. And I can’t help thinking that we did something wrong– didn’t vision-board the book, didn’t manifest it properly– and now we’re being punished.

    • I just threw up and I’m only two paragraphs into Ben’s hustle:

      Just over eight minutes after getting onto the table, Becky is crying. 鈥淟et your goddess out,鈥 says Ben Rode, the 29-year-old man rubbing down her naked body with oil. 鈥淭his is your goddess ceremony.鈥 Meanwhile, Ben鈥檚 31-year-old wife, Jen, who is five months pregnant, performs Reiki, floating her hands over Becky鈥檚 head and neck, asking questions about a past life as a queen. Swelling, chiming New Age music plays in the background, as the picture-perfect pair let out long, throaty exhalations to prompt Becky to breathe deep.

      Most surfaces in this Alameda, Calif., bungalow bear crystals and lit candles. It feels like being in a womb: In the kitchen, a stove is on with the door cracked open and next to the massage table a faux fireplace blazes. After nearly an hour of working her body over, Ben鈥檚 hand slides between Becky鈥檚 legs and he begins walking her through a guided meditation on her ideal man. 鈥淚magine seeing him for the first time,鈥 he says. 鈥淵ou lock eyes from across the room.鈥 After a lengthy narrative buildup, he says, 鈥淗is lips gently touch yours. Your knees melt out from under you.鈥 Ben, a tall all-American sort with ice-blue eyes, moves his fingers to her clitoris, 鈥淟et your pleasure spread, down your legs, all the way up to your boobs.鈥 As Becky鈥檚 moans deepen, he announces, 鈥淜, I鈥檓 going inside.鈥


    • From an article in Elephant Journal by Candace Holdorf (leader of the SF clit flicking society):

      Ben and Jen Rode are currently taking clients. For women, they offer a 90-day Ultimate Self Empowerment Program for $4997 as well as a 5-day World Traveler鈥檚 VIP Rapid Transformation Retreat for $2997. For men (or women) who would like to learn how to give G-Spot orgasms, Ben offers a one-on-one training program for $1997. And for the curious but hesitant, Ben and Jen have a 90-minute, clothing-on intro session for only $147.

      • How much will it cost me to have them promise never to come within 6 miles of my private parts, because THAT I am interested in.

        • My private parts have actually shrivled up, fallen out and rolled under the [second] fridge to protect themselves from these people.

          • Ha ha! Loved the ‘second fridge’ reference.

            It shows a deep understanding of the fine points of Donkology.

      • What is with the woos and the number 97?

        SK3B also priced her “services” at numbers ending in 97.

        It must be something they teach at Grift Academy, sorry, I mean the Woo Business School they all graduated from.

  25. You guys are such haters. I have no doubt that a Donkey will complete her overarching music theory class, and master the piano and guitar. She will excel at voice training to a degree that puts Adele to shame. She will compose and record an album that critics will agree is the best thing to come along since Pet Sounds. She will be BFF with Taylor Swift, although Taylor will always harbor a lingering jealousy of a Donkey’s superior talent, beauty, and charisma. A Donkey will sweep the Grammys, and in one of her many acceptance speeches, will acknowledge that when she was a child, she sang all of the songs, but put music aside to pursue an education and many successful entrepreneurial endeavors. It took her many years, but she finally finished processing that John Mayer concert, and realized that music was her destiny. It had been there, in her heart, all along.

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