Updated: From The Recent Treasure Trove of Donkey Droppings …

… Diane Arbus snapped Julia Allison for yandy.com:

creepyclown

Thank you to @Yandy for my Mermaid Halloween costume! I loved it. (PS. I made the flower crown myself!)

Peter Baugher displays his beast of burden’s “significant neurological abilities”:

fucktard

Among the hired help posing with Android Jones for Sea-Org Summit 2015:

hiredhelp

Adolescent BFFs clown for the camera. Too cute!

rainbowfucktard

Sucking up to OMG! Randi – she liked the FB fauxto – while pretending to be in Chicago for Thanksgiving:

suckerbergsuckup

Mark Zuckerberg might have a hospital named after him now, but I have this … um … storefront … in Chicago.

Posing with the recently dumped Nisha Moodley and masturbatrix Ariel White for Duckface’s FB profile fauxto:

fouraholes

Bowlegged and forever lazing on Daddy’s dime. How can Donkey possibly find the time to get that PR grift up and running?

bowleggedhula

Update: Don’t forget to give thanks for the caterwauling vocal stylings and middle schooler lyrics of Julia’s songstress lov-ah, Jess “Duckface” Johnson. “You inspire me / To be a higher me!” Now that’s poetry!

148 COMMENTS

  1. Look at her having so much fun! Who wouldn’t want to have the fun and sisterhood she is having? She must be so content with the life she created! Pictures on Facebook don’t lie!

    P.S. Fuck you Rain!

    • Her caption for one (too lazy to look) was something like “I’m not always happy, but I am in this picture.” To your point, it’s always fun to watch someone try and convince themselves on Facebook that they’re “happy.” The author or the greatest happiness tome St. Martin’s Press never published is nothing if not a walking, braying contradiction.

      • She edited that picture to add that post in the middle of the night last night. And you have to wonder why.

        When I first saw this picture, I thought she looked like she had serious cryface. Someone else suggested she might be stoned, which certainly is a possibility.

        If she’s happy here, it’s only because she knows she’s getting ready to get on a boat full of horny rich founders and people she can mine for networking purposes.

    • Did Rain leave her yet? (Sorry, haven’t been paying close attention.)

      I thought he was going on tour, but hadn’t heard that he left her.

      My favorite (?) Donkey moment of 2015 so far was when Donkey informed that really sweet young girl that she and Rain were NEVER breaking up. NEVER!!!

      • She hasn’t liked anything on his Facebook in weeks, and she’s been turbo-scoldy, which makes me think that that epic romahhhhnce is no more. But I am no great Donkologist.

  2. Does she really think these types of picture bode well professionally? If she’s only hoping to attract woos (who have no money) then she should play on but if she’s looking to attract funded companies then she should prepare herself for disappointment. Maybe one of her “founder” friends will too her a bone(r) but she’ll quickly choke and get tossed back on the pile of has-beens or never-was.
    I think she’s tried to molt out of the woo skin with the recent Cruise de Crooksville, but all shysters were running the same game (just better dressed & showered).

  3. Why is she the only person in that picture who just HAS to put her hand on the artiste? They must be such good friends!

  4. I keep typing, then back-spacing. No words.
    She’s truly an emotionally-stunted shit bird.

    • This happens to me a lot lately. It must be quite the accomplishment to look so beyond ridiculous and emotionally stunted that intelligent people can’t even convey it in words.

  5. Imagine being trapped on a boat with these bozos. So bohemian! Such free spirits! So anti-consumerism! So loud and braying and attention- hungry and plastic.

    • I know, right? I would jump off the damn boat — never to be seen again!
      (I am not a giant “cruiser” person anyway…)

  6. First fauxto and “rainbow sprinkles” fauxto: are those crying, puffy eyes? Either that or she’s Jocelyn-Wildenstein-ing herself with the botox.

    • I just figured out that they are looking so delighted with themselves because the sprinkles are RAINBOW sprinkles. Get it? Get it? Rainbow? She is pointing at the sign saying rainbow sprinkles with her dumb looking, glitter nailed index finger.

      Also, next photo, pointing with her stupid ugly index finger at the sign saying Julia. GET IT?

      • Duck-face’s extra-long and dexterous tongue lapping up rainbow(‘s) goodies is very telling. Ugh, just made myself vom.

  7. And HOW is that mermaid costume, exactly? Mermaids have graceful long finned tails, NOT STUMPY BOWLEGS ENDING IN CIRCA EARLY 80’s ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS WEDGIE SANDALS.

  8. And here she goes with a name-droppy status about what she did on Thanksgiving. I HAVE FRIENDS, EVERYONE! IMPORTANT FRIENDS! I WEAR MY GRANDMOTHER’S HAND-ME-DOWNS BECAUSE I COME FROM A GOOD FAMILY WITH WHOM I AM VERY CLOSE! I LOVE AND TAKE CARE OF MY DOG! RICH SUMMIT PEOPLE, CONNECT WITH ME! WHY SEND A PRIVATE THANK YOU NOTE OR TEXT TO YOUR HOSTS WHEN YOU CAN BLAST THEM ALL OVER FACEBOOK!

    never reads here!

    • No way any jacket her little ol’ wizened granny moneybag$ wore would come down to D0nk’s bulbous wrists. No. STFU, lying d0nkey who lies.

      • She’s so self-centered. What if those Thanksgiving hosts had people they couldn’t or didn’t want to invite/host? Now Donkey just threw that shit all over their walls.

  9. That bottom photo. Is it just me or does it look like Jess got fillers under the eyes? The look like weird puffy packets of something.

  10. I know it’s been said before, but there are times when Julia Allison crosses over from just looking spectacularly tacky to actually looking like the mentally ill Lil Edie she is rapidly on her way to becoming. Holy hell, this mermaid outfit.

    Julia. Please. You can’t get away with this type of shit any longer. Nobody past the age of 25 can get away with this kind of getup. You absolutely look 35. Please see Sloane Crosley’s essay about wearing the same peacock costume several years in a row. This is you whenever you throw on a Yandy outfit. It is not becoming. The men you want to attract are not going to be into this. They may every now and then accept a random one-night stand with this out of curiosity or boredom; they may every now and then throw this a Facebook like or “What’s up?” text as a back burner relationship to stroke their own ego, but they never marry this or girlfriend this. They commit to Brit Morins and Darya Pinos and Alison Williamses and Tiny n Cute Dancers and Fatty Kates and other women who dress appropriately for their age and project the air of someone who could theoretically help contribute to running a household, raising children, and building wealth and capital. In this getup, you look less like someone who could organize and host a family Thanksgiving and more like the spinster aunt who gets squeezed in at the kids’ table at the last minute. Get a job, bitch.

  11. It wouldn’t be Black Friday without a super scam from Ali “No Shame” Shanti!

    I’ll admit it, I am conflicted about Black Friday. People I respect judge the crap out of it. And I am not a fan of the massive consumerism it promotes. But I DO love the idea of sharing the wealth and using a day of consumerism as an opportunity to help more people become creators instead.

    So, I’m going to focus on what I want to see more of in the world and co-opt Black Friday as a day to give.

    Before I tell you what we are giving you, a quick note about the Money Map: our plan is to launch it live this January (with our 5th annual New Year’s Eve Call as the kick-off). The investment in the program will be $2,000 up to $5,000 depending on the level of support you want.

    This is your chance to get started with the Money Map + LIFT + get Eyes Wide Open coaching for a whole year for less than the investment in the live Money Map program. If you want to upgrade to a higher level of support later when we go live, you’ll receive Membership pricing, which equals big discounts.

    So, here’s my Thanksgiving gift to you for hanging out here with me all these months and years:

    I’m giving you everything we have for 40-80% off for the next 24 hours…

    …By holding a 1-Day Only Special “Black Friday” Sale Event AND supporting my team to take the rest of the week off to be with their families.

    Here’s how it works:

    For the next 24 hours…

    Using the links below, and you get access to EVERYTHING we have for anywhere from 40-80% off!

    And the best part?
    Unlike *other* Black Friday sales…
    There are no lines…
    No waiting…
    No camping out overnight…
    And you don’t even need to leave your house 🙂
    So without further delay…

    Here are the special links to use to take advantage of this special Black Friday sale:

    LIFT Digital: Regularly $1,497
    24-Hour Special:
    Just $898.20 (40% off using code take40off)

    Money Map Phase 1 & 2: Regularly $2,000
    24-Hours Only:
    Just $1,200 (40% off using code take40off)

    Packaging and Pricing Course: Regularly $497.00
    24 hours only:
    Just $298.20 (40% off using code take40off)
    Or …
    GET THE BEST VALUE – SAVE Over 80%, With…

    *The “Whole Enchilada” Everything Above + a year of our Soul Level Eyes Wide Open Membership, LIFT Digital, Money Map Phase 1 & 2, + the Packaging and Pricing Course: $5,964 Value –

    24-Hours Only: Just $970.00 (Over 80% off with code take80off)

    Please note…
    This “Whole Enchilada” special is limited to the first 10 people to join us.

    • Christ any legit business owner would, at the minimum, keep what’s up on a site available to purchase today. It’s not some sort of existential crisis, sell if you want to buy if you want to, but Professional Victim Ali cannot function without some self-created, self-centered crisis.

      • I find Ali’s brand of superficial, faux vulnerable navel gazing so boring that I never get through sentence two. No amount of simple sentences and short paragraphs will convince me otherwise.

  12. Excuse me, but what makes that costume a mermaid costume?

    All I see is a Donkey wearing shorts 3-size too small (her favorite kind) with a bunch of 99c-store plastic flowers on her head.

  13. What kind of thought process ends with “it’s a great idea to pack the Tigger onesie for my trip to Chicago, we’ll do a fauxtoshoot with Dad”?

    Remember when all she did was ugly sweaters in church?

    Her condition has worsened significantly.

  14. Have I been gone to long? I’m absolutely stunned silence drops phone about how crazy plastic our donkey looks. She looks fifty years old… it’s really shocking….

  15. Welp, looks like she took your advice and dressed like a 105 year old woman for her psycho Mill Valley Thanksgiving. All of her other friends look somewhat normally dressed but she had to pull out the stupidest thing she could just so you’d see she’s THSUPER MARRYABLE AND CAN HAZ KIDS AND DINNER AND INVESTORS, OKAY?

    Money truly can’t buy everything. Like style. Or class. Or…

    • DONKEY MAKEOVER TIME

      – the sweater is, for once, a flattering color on you. You should have gone with a cowl neck or a scoop neck, though. A second-best option would have been to keep the turtleneck but wear the hair up and add a long statement pendant. Way too much going on around the neck.
      – lose the jacket; it’s boxy and in a blah color and does nothing for you. If you had to wear a second layer, a cropped leather (or pleather, since you want to pretend to be vegan now) biker jacket in deep red would have been nice.
      – the pants. Wtf. You are not Tilda Swinton. You can’t wear shit like this. It makes you look a foot shorter and not in a Tiny and Cute way. Straight leg wool trousers or corduroy pants with a slight boot cut – fluid and not too tight, stopping at the foot, and in a taupe or rust color – would have been lovely on you.
      – the hair. Cut it. Wavy lob. It would look great on you; your hair would look healthy; you will look 10 years younger and with it. You seem to hate showering, so maybe look into dry shampoo please.
      – the nails. I see you went with an age-appropriate color for once. Deep red would be more flattering and on-trend.

  16. OT: The Donkey must be green with envy: George f-ing Takei reposted Toilet Julia’s fake story to her 9 million+ followers!

    The ragebast is about to snap.

    Watch out Toilet Julia!

    Hell hath no fury like a Donkey enraged.

    • Gregdammit! Doesn’t George know that Donkey is supposed to be the famous Julia? Who does he think he is anyway?

    • The host has a nice house, and honestly it looks like a nice party except for the Donkey spoor. I like parties where people bring their dogs.

      • Dude is hot and if I was his lovely spouse, I’d be nervous about a donkey, who is always liking everything he posts on FB.

      • Was it last Thanksgiving that she attended the party in Oakland where the apartment was so small that they ate dinner on the bed?

      • It’s weird that Donkey always has to name where the person’s house is – Mill Valley, Oakland, etc. Maybe they don’t want everyone knowing where they live?

        This looks like it started out a mainly casual, family-based Thanksgiving to which Nisha and Julia got invited to at the last minute. My guess.

        • Isn’t it weird she’s never invited the same place twice?

  17. Are those the clown trousers from the famous Big Business Lady photograph of years ago?

    What a fucking disaster of an outfit. She looks like she’s about to address the Chamber of Commerce in 2003.

    • I think they’re different … these appear to be navy blue & twice as wide.

      I also think broke-as-a-joke D0nk buys clothes from a resale shop & claims that they were NGMB’$ cast-0ffs … being twice as big as the ol’ buzzard, who besides herself is she fooling, really?

  18. Did someone say Nisha was sane? Holy shit.

    Nisha Moodley
    November 26 at 12:04pm · Edited ·
    {{{ GRATITUDE PRAYER }}}
    Thank you, Mother Nature, for your bounty. Thank you for providing everything we need for our nourishment and pleasure. Thank you for your self-love, your attention on regeneration, so that we may thrive and live on. Thank you for your immeasurable beauty and your unending source of awe, delight, and comfort.
    Thank you, Father Sky, for your protection. Thank you for holding us near to Mama, and for providing everything we need to sustain and flourish here on earth. Thank you for your playfulness and expanse, that we may dream of what is possible. Thank you for your everlasting presence and your endless inspiration of curiosity, play, and passion.
    Thank you Elements, Animals and Plants, for your nourishment, companionship, and reminder that we must take care.
    Thank you Flowers, for your sweet and loving generosity, and the gift of delicate beauty, so we may remember to slow down and be present.
    Thank you to our Ancestors for dreaming us into being. Thank you for all that you sacrificed, in service of us. Thank you for seeing what was possible, and for your devotion to progress, so we may be here today, enjoying the fruits of your loving labor.
    Thank you to our earthly Mothers and Fathers for your deep love, lessons, and sacrifice. Thank you for choosing us and being chosen by us – the perfect parents to nurture and challenge us in the exact ways that we’ve needed, to be shaped for a life of growth and service.
    Thank you, Children, for inspiring us to be more loving, generous, and compassionate. Thank you for inspiring us to think and act beyond ourselves, and to shape humanity such that it will support your joy and thriving.
    Thank you, Brothers and Sisters, for your camaraderie, kindness, and generosity. Thank you for your desire to connect, even when we are fearful of connection. Thank you for your presence as we walk on this path, and for choosing to be here at the same time, in this human experience, challenging, supporting, and caring for one another.
    Thank you, Lovers, past and present, for your love. Thank you for your pleasure, your attention on our pleasure, and your vision for the greatest versions of us. Thank you for the ways you have challenged us as mirrors of our own parents, so that we may heal our family lineages and dream of new lineages with you. Thank you for showing us the places where we still believe ourselves to be unlovable or unworthy, so that we may come home to ourselves.
    Thank you Self, for choosing to step forward into today, even though today is always uncertain. Thank you for your curiosity and love for the people you love. Thank you for your awareness that there is always a capacity for more love to be felt in the world. Thank you for your deepest desire for connection and harmony. Thank you, beautiful body, for your unwavering devotion and innate self-love, and for doing your best with every breath to regenerate and thrive.
    Thank you to the Spirit of Oneness, that we may see that we are one, reflections and mirrors, together for a purpose, and that purpose is love.
    Thank you.
    I love you.
    Thank you.

    • I remember someone mentioned that Nisha was better than the rest of the woos but I could never get past her string of “me and him” posts. I mean, for someone that supposedly sells empowerment and self esteem, who the fuck accepts being with a guy who won’t even acknowledge you publicly as his partner? The Ferret is a piece of shit but she was an enabler with all that middle school secretive bullshit acting like it is completely normal for adult, non married (to other people) partners to hide each other from the public eye. If you let him not respect you as his equal with all that it entails, how the fuck can you sell empowerment to other women? It’s pretty much on the same level as Shantitown selling methods of financial responsibility.

      • And the obvious raging eating disorder that she will not deal with under the guise of “healthful” eating.

        • Composed during her fifth cup of aya.

          I’ve never given this jackass a pass. Her ridiculous grift treats women as though they are emotionally stunted children and cannot possibly accomplish the least challenging task unless they are holding one another’s hand. Project much, Nisha?

          • this

            woo bullshit is woo bullshit; never understood why anyone would give her a pass, starting with the company she keeps

        • I’m late to the party, are Nisha and Tim done? Did either of them say why? Besides that he wants to put it to everything and she wants a bay-bay?

        • She’s rage eating through that whole fake thank you. All these people try too hard at the things that don’t matter.

      • I had a soft spot for her because she has a sweet smile, but thanks to all of y’all, I have come to see that she is as dumb as a load of bricks and just as grifty as the rest of them.

        She does seem to care for her dog, though, which puts her head and shoulders above A Donkey.

    • Thank you, Mother Nature, for your bounty. Thank you for providing everything we need for our nourishment and pleasure.

      Thank you, Big Coal, Big Timber, Big Oil and Big Steel, for raping Mother Nature and providing me with her bounty, pre-packaged for my convenience.

      Thank you for your self-love, your attention on regeneration, so that we may thrive and live on. Thank you for your immeasurable beauty and your unending source of awe, delight, and comfort.

      Climate change? Hell, nature is like a self-cleaning oven! Her attention on regeneration is awesome!

      Thank you, Father Sky, for your protection. Thank you for holding us near to Mama, and for providing everything we need to sustain and flourish here on earth. Thank you for your playfulness and expanse, that we may dream of what is possible. Thank you for your everlasting presence and your endless inspiration of curiosity, play, and passion.

      Thank you for the endless sunlight and the suitcase-like complexion it has gifted me and my friends with. Mostly my friends. Ali, ick.

      Thank you Elements, Animals and Plants, for your nourishment, companionship, and reminder that we must take care…

      …not to stick our hand into an element, animal or plant, particularly when we are not sure which one it is and are tripping balls on some awesome shit.

      Thank you Flowers, for your sweet and loving generosity, and the gift of delicate beauty, so we may remember to slow down and be present.

      And pick every last motherfucking one of you and weave them into my rank hair.

      Thank you to our Ancestors for dreaming us into being. Thank you for all that you sacrificed, in service of us. Thank you for seeing what was possible, and for your devotion to progress, so we may be here today, enjoying the fruits of your loving labor.

      I think if my Ancestor was having that kind of dream the only thing that came into being was a pissed-off laundress.

      Thank you to our earthly Mothers and Fathers for your deep love, lessons, and sacrifice. Thank you for choosing us and being chosen by us – the perfect parents to nurture and challenge us in the exact ways that we’ve needed, to be shaped for a life of growth and service.

      It’s here that the part of my brain with anything slightly funny in it simply shuts down and begins speaking in tongues. Although if there was actually some chance to choose my parents and I wasn’t informed I’d like to see someone in Exchanges & Returns.

      Thank you, Children, for inspiring us to be more loving, generous, and compassionate. Thank you for inspiring us to think and act beyond ourselves, and to shape humanity such that it will support your joy and thriving.

      You don’t have any children, so fuck off.

      Thank you, Brothers and Sisters, for your camaraderie, kindness, and generosity. Thank you for your desire to connect, even when we are fearful of connection. Thank you for your presence as we walk on this path, and for choosing to be here at the same time, in this human experience, challenging, supporting, and caring for one another.

      “In this human experience”? David Block is balls deep in you again, eh? I think there’s a spray for that.

      Thank you, Lovers, past and present, for your love. Thank you for your pleasure, your attention on our pleasure, and your vision for the greatest versions of us. Thank you for the ways you have challenged us as mirrors of our own parents, so that we may heal our family lineages and dream of new lineages with you. Thank you for showing us the places where we still believe ourselves to be unlovable or unworthy, so that we may come home to ourselves.

      And now she’s channeling Eleanor Lance from “The Haunting”. AFTER the accident.

      Thank you Self, for choosing to step forward into today, even though today is always uncertain. Thank you for your curiosity and love for the people you love. Thank you for your awareness that there is always a capacity for more love to be felt in the world. Thank you for your deepest desire for connection and harmony. Thank you, beautiful body, for your unwavering devotion and innate self-love, and for doing your best with every breath to regenerate and thrive.

      Thank you me, for being so me-ey. Thank you tits and ass, for allowing me to wriggle through life like some septic sylph. Thank you body, for trying your damndest to fend off every hangover and projectile vomit session I stud my calendar with.

      Thank you to the Spirit of Oneness, that we may see that we are one, reflections and mirrors, together for a purpose, and that purpose is love.
      Thank you.
      I love you.
      Thank you.

      Me? Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, me.

  19. Jeez she just does the same dumb smile for every picture. It’s so sad. The more smiles, the more sad. This is her last and only face. RIP blow job mouth.

  20. I know someone at Sea Summit who is a prime Donkey target: early 40’s, filthy-rich VC who is single. I’m frightened for him.

    Is she even trying to target these guys anymore or has she been abashed and lowered her sights to the smelly Avocados of the world?

    • She is HAPPY, even if her book on being so will never see the light of day. Can’t you just accept that, because a momentary feeling is all that really matters in this world.

    • Is that a rhetorical question? If D0nk is anywhere under the guise of “working”, you know damn good & well that what she “works’ on is [1] her chase for the ever-elusive dick w/ wallet, & [2] fauxto contortions.

    • Yes, but I think all those guys are looking for tiny n’ cute 25 year olds who went to Stanford, or NYU, or Wellesley, or something…

Comments are closed.