Who Called It? Julia Allison Gears Up For The Big Grift

wetdonk

After 15 years in the media, interviewing and being interviewed, in print, on radio and tv – from CNN to MTV, from the cover of WIRED to the NYT – I can say for sure I know a thing or two or 17 about press, how to get it, and how to NOT get it (hint: do NOT hire an expensive PR rep & send out pointless press releases) wink emoticon

After speaking around the world on this subject, and coaching many startup founders, I’m considering coming out with something more substantive, a way for more entrepreneurs, healers and artists to be able to access my hacks – and avoid paying 3-10k or more a month for a publicist who doesn’t do much of anything. (There are a few great ones, but they are few and far between.)

Would this be something you’d be interested in?

I’ve never put together an online course, and would love to partner with someone who is a pro at this … any suggestions? smile emoticon Thank you!

PS. There *IS* such thing as bad press. Trust me.

So, instead of hiring a real publicist, suckers buy Donkey’s hacks, the PR version of The Money Map? And when the fuck did this lazy layabout ever coach “many startup founders”?

She has no work ethic, a short attention span and can’t get out of bed before noon, so it’s hard to envision Donkey getting this simple con job up and running, even with the help of unpaid interns and her equally duplicitous friends cheering her on. Oh yeah, the newly integrated Ali Shanti showed up in the comments, but is she stupid enough to sign on as partner?

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Allison 2

Jess “Duckface” Johnson lurvs the idea!

truelurv

Bottom Picture!

turkeyjulia

178 COMMENTS

  1. JA actually looks kind of normal (and I hat to admit, not bad looking) in the photo of her cutting the turkey

    but I till don’t understand the logic behind her transgender Captain Stubing dress theme for the vacation photo shoot on the Caribbean waters. EVERYONE knows that the Love Boat sailed along the pacific side of mexico, not the caribbean side, DUUHHH!!

    how could she miss such an obvious gaffe that would rob the authenticity from her spontaneous photos? did her staff not perform due diligence and fact check ahead of time? is she on the receiving end of bad advice from her handlers?

    • Oh, where to start?

      With that exaggerated, overinflated, fraudulent, narcissistic take on her past experience?

      With her lack of honesty and transparency about how she got the jobs she did and how she spectacularly failed at every single one of them? That if she hadn’t shown up at that Gawker party no one ever would have known who she was?

      With her delusion that she has some solution for people when she can’t even help herself?

      That she thinks her self-created public reputation as a total sub D-list laughingstock is going to inspire anyone to pay her money to follow in her footsteps?

      When is the last time anyone wrote about her except to mock her? When is the last time anything she did appeared in print, except for some lame NYT fluff story she only got through connections and took her six months and as many revisions to write? Or some lame $50 OK Cupid story she wrote herself that anyone could get published?

      Oh honey. Head on over to D-listed and get Phoebe Price’s phone number. The two of you should go into business together. Hire Angylene to be on your board of directors.

      You want to teach people to hack WHAT media? You bought thousands of fake followers on Twitter and Facebook, and even they are bored with you. You can’t dupe companies to give you free stuff anymore based on your fake numbers of followers. You are so far-removed from being involved with any influential media today that it isn’t even funny. Your limited experience by chance in 2008 has ZERO relevance today. Any attempt at engaging, like your dumb Instagram challenges, you drop after a couple of weeks.

      I sure hope some of your woo friends read this and learn what a fucking phony you are. Of course you fit right in with a lot of them. But to think you have ANYTHING to offer anyone as far as expert advice in “hacking” the media? You are INSANE. GET HELP.

      • Claps! Bravo! But my dearet Grifty, doesn’t Julia deserve a wee tip o’ the tutu for not mentioning the OMG! St. Martin’s book that isn’t coming out?

        We’ll make an honest donkey out of her yet!

        • She is so deluded! And look at how many of the people who don’t know what a fraud she is are clamor in to “help” her?

          This is clearly because Dadsers is ready to cut her loose. Or has threatened to.

          • Robert Scoble is among the folks who liked her proposed grift. Didn’t she bang this beached whale fucktard at some tech conference?

            drunk

            My favorite response comes from one Max Royale: “I think the world is been waiting for something like this”

          • Will she include “banging the likes of Robert Scoble to have access to founders, networking and $$” as part of her PR “course”?

          • I like the guy who says, “great idea. I wouldn’t bother to do it of course.” Thanks for your honesty, champ.

    • it’d be really awesome if we stopped using transgender as an insult around these parts. believe it or not, some of us are trans…

    • If that doesn’t scream 5150, not sure what does. Clearly that family is not capable of shame, they’re Grrrreattt!

    • Soon-to-be-35-years-old Julia Allison (Baugher) scampers around in cartoonish onesie, vying for Dad$er’s attn, demanding Mom$er take fauxtos in between the laborious task of preparing holibray feast for which D0nkey will not be thankful.

      In other news, the grandkid will have made actual accomplishments this year.

    • Lordy, Lordy! I’m just seeing this now. Before going to bed last night, I quickly looked on FB and my eyes rolled and rolled and rolled again – how did Donkey jam so many lies into her PR grift promo?! I was exhausted but had to get up a post. As I was writing and downloading snaps, unbeknownst to me, Donkey kept posting. I turned off the computer and looked on my cell and noted she’d changed her profile picture to the porny wet thailor. So I turned on the computer and exchanged one sailor for another at the top of this post and finally went to bed. Julia was posting all of this crap, including the 5150 onesie, around 3 – 3:30 am Chicago time.

  2. So is the “expensive PR rep” the person who sent out the Jack McCain breakup/the “home we shared in Coronado” news release? Oh Donkey.

    • “I’ve never had PR help. [laughs] … I know I’ve probably made every PR mistake in the book. A lot of things that PR reps probably would have told me not to do, I’ve done. So I’m not saying that I’d necessarily advise people to take my route because it’s had incredible personal consequences.”
      ~Julia Allison, 2008 PRWeek interview

      She later had PR reps though, right? That gal in CO whose wheelhouse is mktg ski resorts … that Andre guy w/ Ainsley & Co in Baltimore, MD (didn’t D0nk use him to design the book cover that’s never going to see the light of bray?) …

      • I never understood why she should have “PR help, laughs.” Like, what does she do that should be PRed? It sounds a lot like the idiotic “can you believe Dadsers still expects such a wildly influential and successful trailblazer and art director as Donk to get ‘a job with health insurance’? HYSTERICAL” thing she seems to trot out every now and then. I mean, no shit that a lazy loser who regularly embarrasses herself in public (in addition to in private) has no “PR help.” You don’t say.

        • A subset of legitimate PR work is making lame idiots look like they’ve done more than they have. This requires a larger ongoing investment because the fraud has to be sustained over time.

        • There was a very brief time when she was working for Star magazine when she could have made a living for herself as a professional talking head, but she could never stop making herself the story.

  3. The book is clearly tied to the anchor and should have taken that hideous hat with it.
    What’s that I smell? No, not turkey, desperation. She’s backdating handwritten manic notes-to-self to include ‘programs.’
    She’s so fearful they’ll actually make her get a legit job, she tried to cobble together a PR program overnight.
    Happy Thanksgiving & this year there’s manic panic gifts all over her Facebook page.

    • I don’t even think she could get a legitimate job at this point even if she wanted to. She has zero professional experience, a disasterous reputation, an outdated degree in a pointless subject and delusions of grandeur beyond any entry level position. Also she’s probably too old to get anything entry level at this point even if she tried.

  4. D0nk is home for the holibray, & of course she’s up all night posting fauxtos of herself — think she helps Mom$er w/ meal prep & clean-up, or does she claim jet lag & sleep all day after an exhausting romp on the lawn w/ Dad$er while posing in her onesie?

  5. A few times, donkey droppings show up in my dreams. Last night, she wouldn’t show anyone where granny was buried bc she thought there might be some jewels hidden in the headstone and wanted to get to them first. Then she tried to stick her used bandaid on me and I was becoming violent and woke up.

  6. Last ditch effort – just in time for Thanksgiving day with the fam – to show that she is “working” on a “project” – something – anything – to keep her less focused on the fact that she isn’t just a miserable layabout woo.

  7. That tiger costume picture. I just can’t. She is either VERY high on something or she really is mentally ill/stunted. What’s wrong with her family? If I did that, at any age above seven, my parents would say “Take that gregdamn thing off or leave. You look like an idiot” Maybe that’s the response she’s hoping to illicit – “get out”?

    But seriously, pictures like these give me the feeling something very bad happened in that household and her parents will do anything to keep her calm and quiet. It’s beyond disturbing. I know I shouldn’t but I kind of feel bad for her because she looks like the poster child for the mental help issue in the U.S. A 5150 would be the best thing to happen to her.

    Oh and I totally agree with the comment about writing that June 2015 note last night. I found it odd when I read the entry. Why, if you make a list every time you go home, are you posting a picture from June. Why not the one you wrote for this trip?

  8. “…and avoid paying 3-10k or more a month for a publicist who doesn’t do much of anything.” LOLLOL, Donkey, you constantly show how stupid you are. I have friends who are publicists and they not only work their asses off, they get huge results. Why? Because it’s all about relationships and power. They can get press for a small start-up or a smaller client by trading on their bigger client. They have come up the ladder with all their publicist friends and all their media connections.

    I LOL that this Donkey thinks she is going to get the same results… what she’s going to get is a huge backlash when she screws people over.

    Funsies!

    • And to make matters worse, how many bridges has she burned in media and PR? Who is she going to call as PR contacts for the people she claims she wants to teach? I doubt anyone from her “media” days would even pick up the phone.

    • “They can get press for a small start-up or a smaller client by trading on their bigger client.”

      Like her talent agent did for her. What a moron she is.

    • publicists work hard and get paid accordingly; entry level jobs are brutal. $3k/month is a $40k beginner salary for a fulltime person getting started; you could hire an actual employee with a work ethic to build a staff

      • I read that as she thinks startups use PR firms on the regular. Most boards won’t approve extra expenditures and they have in-house marketing. Not saying it’s not needed but it’s a luxury most startups can’t afford. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know and never will. She think PR is being a brand ambassador, which she made about her and not the client. How did her numbers track for Sony, Coobie, Yandy? Exactly.

        • I think she is saying since you can’t afford one, and even if you did, most don’t do much for you, then do these things instead.

          The joke is to list the the supposed things she will recommend.

          This is someone who was born on third base and thinks she hit a home run.

  9. That lakeside facility, look at that gorgeous water, that enormous property, imagine all the benefits and chances that come along with that in life, to do good in the world, sadly just one example of why society is the way it is.

    • They couldn’t scoot over a few feet so the bare, brown lawn on the next lot want included?

      • What drives me nuts about Julia’s pictures is that, for all the Photoshopping and editing she does of herself, and for all the repeated retakes she demands, her pictures always suck because she has no sense of composition. She’ll be in the gorgeous locales – Necker Island, Black Rock City, the shore of Lake Michigan, Sedona, Santa Barbara, wherever – and her pictures are dull and boring and amateurish as fuck to look at because the horizon is all crooked, or it cuts off in weird spots, or she’s sort of stolidly plopped a smidgen off center. It’s like, WHY

  10. She’s so insufferable. All those posey photos on the ship and she was hired help. She wore a white or a blue tennis skirt the whole time with a bikini top.

    I love that she’s home, though. Always good for manic posting.

      • I’m betting visit.
        No posts on all of her pink bins with tutus and hand written notes on starting new adventures

      • I don’t think she’s in Chicago. A few hours ago she posted that Dad$er emailed her some video for Thanksgiving.

        • Did they set limits — don’t come here until X or unless Y

          Did lil bro and wife forbid baby fauxtos and there was a fight?

          • That could have very well happened. Alternatively, she doesn’t give a fuck about her family and just stopped going. What I find the most perplexing though is why pretend she’s there at all if she isn’t?! Many people spend Thanksgiving away from family for reasons but only a Burra will post as if she was there. WHY?!

          • Because maybe she wasn’t invited to Thanksgiving anywhere else, and is too dumb to realize that her FB posts’ geotag gives her away. And I don’t know that you can edit that retroactively without deleting the whole post.

          • I go home for Christmas, not Thanksgiving. Two long trips in a month is too much. Of course, she thinks nothing of flying around for pointless shit all the time, so I don’t know what her excuse is.

          • I wonder if the sister-in-law’s parents host Thanksgiving now? Her mum is Filipina, iirc, so at least there might be delicious food instead of Mama Bird’s sad struggleWASP cuisine.

  11. I love her entrepreneurship phases the most. She always embarrasses herself so delightfully.

    Remember last year, when she was emceeing the love conferences in the ugly DVF Fair Isle dress, and got them to hire Avocado to tweedle, and then she bitched at the organizer on Twitter because he hadn’t given her her $400?

    She cannot business properly.

    • Speaking of which that hideous schmatta, just last night I was thumbing through the holiday issue of Elle Decor (American), and an ad featuring a woman in that very dress smacked me in the eye. “Ew!” was my first reaction, followed by “So that’s how it looks on someone wearing the right size.”

  12. Donkey’s List of Things to Do When at Home with Family
    (TRANSBRAYED)

    1. Think of lots of snarky things to say to one-up and put down my little brother.
    2. Try to pay attention/suck up enough to my father so he keeps sending checks.
    3. Con Momsers into doing some future “project” for me.
    4. Hit Dadsers up for more money for an upcoming Costa Rica dirt fest where I can take hallucinogens and fuck all the DJs, including those with girlfriends.
    5. Hit Dadsers up for more airline miles.
    6. Pretend to care for my dog.
    7. Explain to them all how much more evolved my diet is than theirs is.
    8. Shun all traditional Thanksgiving fare and insist on everything being gluten free, free range, organic, fair trade, raw, non-GMO.
    9. Get nourishing sleep until 3 p.m.
    10. Take backyard photos by the lake so I can humblebrag online that my parents have lots to be thankful for.
    11. Bring extra pillow to stifle sobs in the night.

    • re: checks

      My dad sends me a $50 check for my birthday, and a $100 check for Christmas. Every year.

      I haven’t cashed one since… I don’t know, my first year teaching?

      He bitches at me every time I see him for ‘screwing up the books.’ He throws a good fit.

      Donkey just sucks at adult.

  13. Transbraytion: Will someone out there organize the location, production staff, equipment, web development, and promo package for a retail website so I can get paid to talk about myself online.

    • Good Greg, she’s really been doing too much drugs. This post from last night? earlier today? (timestamp says 11 hours ago for me):

      Taking a stand for less consumerism and more financial responsibility (Hi Dad! See, I’m making good choices!), the only item I’m purchasing this Black Friday is the effervescent and whipsmart Nicole Lapin’s NYT Bestseller, “Rich Bitch.” Love her, love her message, wish I had learned it about 7 years ago, when I was making 6 figures as a 27-year-old. I might have a downpayment for a house now … Oops?
      Better late than never, right?

      • Where shall she buy this book? She’s boycotting Amazon and malls, remember. I suppose she’ll get it from ye olde mom and pop book shoppe… as if.

      • I think I’m going to like this latest twist to the Julia who walked away from big life and big money in NYC to give her gift to the world – for the five seconds it will last.
        She’s seriously trying to upgrade from the Lumpenwooletariate with with the likes of Shanti and the failure will be spectacular.
        At least I hope that the people she’s targeting now humour her, since they inexplicably don’t seem to ignore her and don’t let her anywhere near their contacts and money.

      • Sadly, her parents are rich WASPs and probably DID try to give her this financial advice eons ago. Bet you anything Baby Brother has a down payment for a house, and he was earning grad student money when he was 27.

    • Yep. And look at Donkey maniacally tagging people she just met on this cruise, people who never heard of her before that she has to get to commit quickly before they discover she’s a total fraud and an asshole narcissist who has nothing to contribute. If anything, she’ll figure out how to opportunistically plagiarize, or creatively just this side of illegally repurpose, anything the people she is crowdsourcing are offering her. Anyone in a legitimate business will just laugh at how lame and out of date and unrealistic her supposed ‘hacks’ are. I’d call her a hack herself, except she is too fucking lazy to even generate enough output to earn that pejorative. She is a do-nothing phony. Fake it until you never make it. Empty suit. All hat, no cattle.

      • This and when Ellsberg ‘decided’ he was a marketing genius are so laughable. Neither is hard working with any credibility without trading on their parent’s hard-earned achievements. Also the opposite of what it takes to achieve success in any industry.

      • Interesting theory. So you think Julia Baugher, d/b/a Julia Allison hopes that siome of the folks from Summit at Sea 2015 will google Julia Allison, late of Time Out New York, Wired magazine, Bravo documentary series “Miss Advised”, and forthcoming blockbuster “Experiments in Happiness” from St. Martin’s Press? Why, I wonder what they’ll find……

        • If they look up things like Julia Allison scam, and Julia Allison fraud, they might find interesting things. They also might be amused by the photography Monika de Myer.

        • She will play the ‘jealous hater cyberbullies’ card like she always does. And unless they go deep enough they’ll buy it.

        • Reputation still keeps most of her bullshit buried a few pages in. I doubt she pays them anymore, but since she gave sound bites on their behalf I think they must feel compelled to keep her suck under wrap.

          Jon Ronson (so dreamy) talks about Reputation in “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed,” and I wanted to know his perspective on the ineffable Miss Baugher.

    • Duck, right? looked at that photo and thought what happened to her? She is all light and angles and on Phlegms couch now

  14. I feel like she’s showing her parents this thread and explaining how she’s ‘still relevant’ without the proper context as to why people still find her relevant. It has nothing to do her PR skills, blow job skills, founders she knows, and only serves as a cautionary tale for over-indulgence without accountability.

  15. I thought I couldn’t be more embarrassed for her after seeing that first picture (I mean, oh my god) and then I saw those shoes.

  16. This is why she went to Summit…to profit off the other attendees. I’m pretty sure this is transparent enough to merit her not being invited back.

  17. I’m bored on Black Friday, and no one in the house feels like leaving to brave the crowds. So I sit here wondering:

    How many of her 137,828 FB followers were paid for?

    Why hasn’t she updated her juliaallison.com site in what looks like at least two years?

    • I’d guess 99% are fake.

      If she really wants to start a legit business where she asks people to pay her for her services, the first thing she needs to do is own up to the fact that she bought all these fake followers and expunge them from her Facebook page.

      Second thing is own up to the book being cancelled.

      Desperate Donkey won’t do either one, though. And she needs to be called out on both, especially the first one unless she wants to be accused of deceptive trade practices.

      • Guaranteed that if she hired a legit publicist/PR person, they would give her this same advice.

        Donkey hates PR people because they tell her things she doesn’t want to hear.

        • Same with licensed therapists, which is why she prefers “counseling” from the likes of unlicensed cons like Annie Lalala.

          • YUP. The JIML is the same way. Selectively shares her problems with some friends to hear the advice that will validate how she already feels. (What is if yourself is the cognitive bias?) Will spend any amount of money on life coaches, dating coaches, energy workers, spirit guides, Ayurvedic therapy, private Pilates instructors for psychosomatic back problems, gluten-free and lactose-free food items for psychosomatic digestive issues, etc. but won’t see a licensed therapist because she’s “too raw right now.” I would have sympathy if she didn’t insist on everyone else around her accommodating the various manifestations of her 99% probable anxiety disorder, which she has explicitly acknowledged, and feasible borderline personality disorder.

      • go to her page — you don’t have to be her friend, it’s public

        click on “friends”

        first 20 names are arabic men

        any social media due diligence can reveal those as fakes/purchased in less time than it takes to type this.

        anyone who doesn’t put in that much knowledge or effort deserves the fraud they buy when they buy her

  18. Jess J might have permanent duck face and a croaking voice that peels paint off walls, but she actually founded and ran a nonprofit for a few years that was dedicated to raising awareness of sexual violence, and mentoring at-risk high school-age kids. It looks like it shut down last year through lack of funding. Ariel W. also worked with her on this. It looks like she actually worked hard. Not sure what she is doing now or why a layabout do-nothing Donkey would be so appealing to her as a best friend. But it does seem she actually did something that had some meaning.

  19. Oh man. Twitter. Is that her Halloween costume or did she really wear that fucking polyester nightmare around the SOS people she was trying to impress?

    How?

    I actually think she must be ‘teched’ y’all.

  20. I have to ask, why are her boobs so low down on her torso? I mean, they look like they start too low. That white bra/bikini top thing looks like the neck strap is a good 2-3 inches too long. I want to yoink it up and give those puppies some dang support!

    Ps playing sailor dress ups on a boat is ridiculous, unless you’re at a costume party.

  21. The Woo Crew makes more sense if they were all wealthy. Travelling from conference to resort conference makes some sense if you’re wealthy, I guess. There is an entire class of idle wealthy and they have to do something, right? Saying you’re a “founder” or “entrepreneur” and going to conferences sounds like a harmless pastime. What I don’t get about the grifters is that they don’t have money, except maybe Ellsberg. Or maybe they all do have money? So weird.

    • Brokeass Jet Set is a thing. Jess lives in a share house with Avocado and others, so I doubt she’s got bank. Noodles seems to do okay $$-wise from her grift (rents a cute cottage). Donkey has the Bank of Dadsers to rely on.

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