RBD’s New Music Express

Majiii, The Great has farted out a second cut off his mixtape – does he even know the meaning of the word? – appropriately titled “S.E.L.F.I.E.”

https://soundcloud.com/thegreatmajiii/selfie

I’m here to create a dynasty / That shines beyond the mind can see.

Best of luck with that, Fozzie. I’m sure sales of this track will soon find you purchasing that spankin’ new Mercedes. FREEDOM!

Discovering FREEDOM after an OMG! breakup (because what else do women songwriters write about?) is Julia Price Taryn Southern. Donkey is …

So proud of my girl Taryn.

T, this is beautiful. Thank you for making art out of your pain … It’s an inspiration to all of us.

More please.

Oh, and Donkey’s crowdsourcing again:

What movie most renewed your faith? Alternatively, what movie about God/spirit/the universe/the light most inspired you?

Uh, Duck Soup? A Night at the Opera? Gold Diggers of 1933? Apparently the St. Martin’s book will consist of listicles and the inthpiring thory of Julia Allison, who found FREEDOM when she discovered drugs and adults playing dressup in the desert.

hee haw

156 COMMENTS

  1. I know I’m in the minority here when I say this (as if it matters to me) but, I like Taryn Southern — girl seems to be constantly working her ass off & some of her stuff is pretty funny, so she gets a pass from me

    That song isn’t something I’d buy, but I don’t hate it either. When looking for the lyrics, I found this, a duet of the same song, & I like it better.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXAqEvdKcNE

    • I’m with you. Her products are not for me (in the sense that I am too old/ have different taste to be her target demographic) but the woman works for her stuff. Unlike a Donkey, she has the ethics to pursue a career and try to make it in a difficult environment.

      With that said, I find it very amusing how a Burra constantly advertises her relationship to her as if it gives her celebrity cred by proxy. Obviously it must work to some extent as we learned recently on her SWFing CL how the dirty burner crowd fears alienating her because she was once on the cover of Wired.

    • Lovely voice, but when are skinny women going to realize that the anorexic chest look is horribly unappealing? (Not body snarking, just making a serious point about suboptimal fashion choices.)

    • Agree totally. And you can tell she nevers the donkey. I want to know — who’s the dude who dumped her?

      • probably because Donkey threw her under the bus as usual. I remember some interview specifically where she talked condescendingly about some friend a “successful actress” who didn’t know how to tell guys what she wants.

    • It’s an okay song but I didn’t find it moving at all, and breakup songs ought to invoke some reaction in the listener, right? I remember the first time I heard February by Dar Williams, for instance, how surprisingly sad it made me.

      • it’s very “Becky breaks up”

        basic af but there’s a huge market for that from the pumpkin spice crowd

    • If the song gets heard, it has as good a chance as any to hit. The video is pretty dull and maybe the tune could lose 30-60sec or so, but I could definitely see broken-hearted middle and high schoolers eating it up.

  2. “What movie most renewed your faith? Alternatively, what movie about God/spirit/the universe/the light most inspired you?”

    Is this marking the beginning of an Evangelical JA?

    • 1. “What movie most renewed your faith?”
      i don’t look to movies to renew my faith

      2. “movies about god/spirit/the universe / the light”
      that could be the single stupidest line i have read ever

    • And the use of “alternatively”? What’s the difference between renewed your faith and inspired you? How is one an alternative to the other? They’re practically synonyms, dumb-ASS.

      Fuck, she can’t write.

      Words, Donkey, they mean things!

    • What movie renewed my faith? The movie ‘Freaks’ because it renewed my faith that scheming hosebeasts like you get the karma they deserve.

    • I was out with another catlaydee a few nights ago and we agreed that seeing Julia go Full Megachurchy would be the ideal next incarnation we would see

      • That would probably provide us with lulz for years if Julie hooked up with a televangelist preacher. 😀

      • I’m a megachurch survivor and I cannot picture this, although it wouldn’t be surprising because those churches attract any and all types, but a higher percentage of…let’s say unbalanced members of the population.

        • But that’s just it – she’s unbalanced with a side of personality disorder and another side of follower. Plus, not bright. Isn’t that the perfect storm for the megachurches?

          • Yeah. It depends on the church. Some are pretty socially conservative despite having an anyone is welcome statement. Someone like Julia could be considered eccentric among the group. I see her more as the type to inflict manipulation, rather than be a follower/victim in that kind of scenario.

        • i have two JIML (unfortunately one is my boss) and both of them are megachurch participants. i don’t need to describe boss-man as many of his NPD traits have been described here, but the way he enables his daughter (the other JIML) is beyond belief.

          case in point: boss-man is close to retirement age and i was promised a promotion to ultimately replace him – i was employed with specific skills in mind, and as i showed true leadership, the rest of the team loved it – they finally had clear direction. sensible team decisions were made that united the team. daughter-JIML hated this and would report to daddy what i was doing, putting her own twist on it so as a consequence, i have found myself being pushed further and further backwards in the organization while boss-man promotes daughter to my position, shifting me into a position with no prospects.

          funny how, if people trust you in an organization, they tell you anything. people reported stuff to me, and i shrug, maintain the boundaries and soldier on.

          it’s funny – we just moved offices. i was to have an office in “executive row” – window, view of the parking lot (snort) etc., etc. daughter-JIML complains that her office is too small and at the back of the building so (you guessed it), we get switched around – after office assignments have been announced publicly.

          not that i care about an office though – i work remote most days and it’s really only a place to hang your coat when you’re present. but the whole principle of the thing, and the fact that these f*ckheads can get away with anything that their hearts desire really burns me.

          sorry – we started talking about megachurch participation and i ended up talking about me. it won’t happen again…

        • We’re going to have to really pray to Greg for him to make this happen.

  3. I imagine in Donkey’s head, the list looks something like the following:
    Pretty Woman
    The Little Mermaid
    Sex and the City (the first movie)

    Meanwhile, I couldn’t bear 20 seconds of that first song, which is literally the worst thing I will ever hear.

    • We got about 30 seconds in (me, huscat, and a musician/therapist friend). Then we told our friend some of the recent highlights of Donkey and her woowoo grifter circle. It was all a revelation to him, but not in the good way.

  4. “Thank you for making art out of your pain, T.” I too, make art. Word Art. So watch now, as I make word art out of your pain… Suck It! I have a balding DJ who sometimes wants to have threesomes/orgies with me and other dusty people when it just so happens we’re in the same city. It’s REAL! I threw a sister under the bus for him. We are never breaking up! Our relationship is built on lies! Which doesn’t matter because you, oh tiny’n’cute sister are single while I – ahh, me – am married to myself and mostly OMing to the music my beloved – I LOVE YOU RAIN! – makes. While not around me. Ever. I WIN.

    Rain?

  5. As regular viewers will know, I quite enjoy a quiet moment transcribing some of the nonsense that Skankatron et al. post online. So I had a go with Majiiiii’s latest masterpiece. Here it is; at least, here’s the first minute or so. I honestly couldn’t listen to anymore…

    Selfie

    Selling
    Elegant
    Lifestyles
    for Ignorant
    Evolution

    Sel
    Sel
    Sel
    Selfie

    Sel-fie

    This is an interlude
    To unveil the crude
    From the prude
    This new tune
    Is under the new moons
    And tell you there is so much truth
    Hidden behind the lies
    They pattern (?)
    In the mind of the masses
    Stuck in these classes
    That means you

    The grinds against society
    That engulf you into propriety
    The lies I see
    Are the lies you believe
    Trust me
    You can’t lie to me
    I’m here to create a dynasty
    That shines beyond the eye can see
    While you are blind to see
    Your full potency
    The question is who will you be

    Half past noon
    Listen to my music
    Make or break you
    To these musical tools
    Knocked up by spiritual fools
    Just as we’re surgically through
    Illusions of the mind
    Only defined
    Deep inside
    The miracle of the internal truth
    The miracle of the internal truth

    Now feels like I’m shooting your mind
    With these ill lines
    They break ties with boundaries
    That break lines
    From the foundation of fake lives
    Covers of ancient to save lives
    Were mine created
    So much time that you’ve wasted
    Kids (???) have to face it
    No need to pace it

    Message so blatant
    That I’ve played it for so patient
    Stuck in time
    But really when it’s time…

    (…and so on, and so forth…arrrgggghhh)

  6. This whole “More please” thing they are always saying comes off as really creepy to me…ugh the woo-niverse in general just creeps me out.

  7. The latest comments to Fozzie’s Mercedes tale:

    Andrew Sorensen This post gave me cancer. Top notch cringe material right here.
    Like · Reply · 15 hrs

    Stan Keyangdown “Shutting down Facebook (and all social media) for a bit to observe any distraction patterns that may be lingering unconsciously.”
    Returns next day. Boasts of behavior that can only be explained by syphilitic dementia. Get tested son.
    Like · Reply · 1 · 12 hrs

    Bradley L. Hamilton Okay, so I can get coaching for being a dick from you and going bankrupt from Ali?

    • I love how he is such a lame gazelle even in the woo community that he gets pounced on immediately.

      • I think Ali has embarrassed herself with another boyfriend who she will slowly shun and send back to from whence he came.

        • But not before she passive aggressively berates him like she did her own mother on the post below. I’m in full support of filicide when it come to Shanti or Donkey.

  8. He really is Craig 2.0 – arrogant, bullying, “sensitive,” wrapped up in his own language that he thinks is universal but is really inscrutable, unshowered… a con artist who judges other con artists… Etc.

  9. OT: Ali Shanti is worried about your relational operation system and guess who’s to blame:

    If business, parenting, or finding a long-term life partner seems difficult, it’s likely because your relational operating system is out of date.

    It’s not your fault, it’s what you learned. It’s what we’ve ALL learned. Our parents were more evolved than their parents and yet a lot of what they passed on to us is not serving us today when it comes to truly thriving in the world.

    You probably see it when you go home for the holidays or to family reunions, but what you may not see is how much it’s impacting your daily life and your success.

    Here’s the good news … there are answers. And my friend’s Decker and Robert have them for you in this video series.

    Get it now and start the process of updating your Relational Operating System today. All of your relationships will improve — business, parenting, work, even your relationship with yourself.

    Thanks so much, Ali, and ABG!

    abg

    • Oooooh yes, please Ali Shanti help me upgrade my Relational Operation System (ROS) today!! V.O.M.

    • Oh and let me guess. They charge money for this video series, instead of just providing the information free of charge. Who the fuck sells tapes of anything anymore?

      Sounds like she is shilling for someone else.. in exchange for what?

  10. Totally OT, but does anyone here know how to embed a twitter feed into SharePoint 2010? All of the instructions I’ve seen online aren’t working.

  11. From a recent Ali post:

    “Yes, it’s so easy to slip back into patterns of focusing on what didn’t work, who did it, why we did it that way, etc. on both the micro level of family, relationships, parenting and business and the macro level, economy, environment, government, etc.

    “I find myself constantly needing to remind myself — drop the blame, stop looking for the why, and focus on what you want to do differently from here on out. Build the new system that makes the old one obsolete. Stop giving that old baggage any energy at all.”
    ****

    Now, I’m not suggesting that these gurus should be perfect people — understanding the struggles makes you an authority of sorts — but it seems like she’s someone who’s more in NEED of help than she is qualified to deliver it.

    She talks a lot of woo stuff with peace and centering and whatever, but it sounds like she’s got plenty of baggage she needs to shed before she call herself a source for the kind of help she herself needs.

    Woo woman, heal thyself!

    • There’s a scene in the (appropriate) “The Grifters,” where Annette Benning is discusses her earlier grifting days with J.T. Walsh, and after they pull off a series of high-risk cons, Walsh eventually has a nervous breakdown, either from guilt or worry about getting caught.

      I wonder if this is what’s going on when she suffers these relapses of rage.

      • Great theory and I’m sure this site doesn’t help. If she has a conscience about it, she should give up the grift. Based on her emails, it seems like she’d rather just do psychology or blogging or whatever. Not that those aren’t grifty but she’d have to deliver more I guess. She’d be a perfect shitty therapist.

  12. OT RANT a JIML, mostly formerly, but pops up every once in a while, posted a reminiscence of good times gone by, so many happy memories, with many fauxtos attached … ALL OF HER, NOT ONE HAD ANOTHER PERSON OR A LANDMARK OR A TREE OR SCENERY OR ANYTHING IN IT JUST FAUXTOS OF HER HER HER

    thank you catladies for helping me see this loon for what she is. i was well on the way to cutting her out before me met, but now it’s like playing a bingo card when the symptoms appear

  13. Now that I have fuck you money at the ripe old age of 38, I find remaining humble and hooking up my closest friends for some mini vacation shit is really good for me and the set. While keeping our gimmicks on the down low, watching these posers who obviously are in a constant scam w each other and the world at large is entertaining but sort of bleak. I also feel like this magiii cat is a twisted and closeted homo (al’la Ryan swain) but he isn’t really saying anything coming from that twisted space. Like sometimes an artist packed into some weirdly tight mental space like that can and will produce some sick amazing shit. Eminem comes to mind but so does Van Gogh and many many artists. Bottom line – no one here is talented but the commenters.

      • The Cure always cures what ails me.
        Though I can never hear this particular song in my mind’s ear other than as performed by a big old American college marching band (Berkeley, late 70’s.) Was this like a thing (aross the universe in perpetuity?) Or was the original song thus? Do not remember, so old, so tired…

  14. Fuck all you haters.

    Julia Allison is an incredible human being and you don’t even know this wonderful soul.

    Burning Man exemplifies the true creative spirit of life. Those of us who call it “home” have transcended normal life and have risen to a state of consciousness that you must experience to believe. If you leave your normal reality and accept the energy vibrations of your true self you will arrive at the same inner euphoria.

    I feel bad for all of you. Your hate, your pain, and your sadness is soul crushing. I feel your dark emotional struggles just being on this web site. You all deserve a more pure life full of love and acceptance for who you really are. The universe needs you. You don’t have to continue living in fear. The Light will guide you but only if you open your 3rd eye. Nirvana awaits all of those who will drop their egos and fear. I invite you to follow The Light. Let it guide your path to lead you out of the darkness. Trust yourself and you will discover your purpose and value to this temporary world. Even though you have hate in your heart the universe needs you. The universe values you. It’s never too late. I will focus with massive intention that your life will change and the hatred will leave you You are not a true believer now but you will change when someone shows you The Light. Let your eyes be opened like a child playing on a sunbeam. My best to each of you with dark hearts.

    I’m joking. Julia Allison is a cunt.

    • I bought it right up until the end, probably because of the absolutely perfect deployment of the Random Woospeak Word Generator. Well done!

    • This was genius. But it got me thinking: remember when she still had people willing to white knight for her?

    • This was so believable, right up to the end. It’s a Gregdamn work of art. (And it’s more writing than Julia has done all year)

      • Does anyone defend this bloated wreck anymore? Coobie? Devin? Momser? Dadser? David, Devin? Prom King? Code Name TK? Caela? Meghan? Megan? Meegan? Mohegan? Mary? Fake Mary? Jack? Randi? Cindy? The three dress guy? The security guy at the condo in Coronado? The Miss Advised crew? Andy? The TMI crew? Sheryl Spencer? Charlsie? CNN? Time Out New York? MetroAM? Red Eye? Balthazar? Dave Morin? Britt Morin? Jay Cutler? Redacted? Redacted’s mom? The entire staff of College Humor? The class of Harvard Business School ’09, the front desk attendant at the Palace of the Fine Arts, Dead Granny, Baby Brother, Baby Brother’s wife, Baby Brother’s baby, Randi’s baby, Randi’s husband, the cast of Rock of Ages, Georgetown class of 2004, Indiana University Class of 2003, Jessica Whatshername, Dr. Bobby, the filler industry, Houston’s, Germany, Davos, yoga instructors everywhere, New York, Chicago, Marina del Rey, San Francisco, Hell’s Kitchen, luggage carousels, dog groomers who don’t mind being observed, Wired, Media Bistro, Laurwl Toubey, her boa, Wikipedia editors, homeless people in downtown LA, the Bart Bus girl, fat Kate, Jay Cutler, Rain, RAIN, RAIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN?!

        Am I forgetting anyone?

    • Oh, thank Greg. I was going to be up the rest of the night racking my brain to figure out which of Donkey’s familiars were capable of actually stringing together a paraphrase. I was starting to worry I’d underestimated one of the woo set!

      • True! As it stands, not at all interesting — but the funny cat peeps bring it, so I was hoping against hope 🙂

        I believe animation gets D0nk’s significant neurological abilified attn like no other. So curious to know how low she scores on an aptitude test.

      • Finally a product she’s worthy of promoting since she’s full of shit. That ad on a side note is disturbing.

  15. O/T: We’re watching THE WORDS (Bradley Cooper plagiarist author movie) — if it ends as well as it has played so far, good movie! Thought you writerly types might be interested to see t. Oh, & you too, d0nkey-who-never-reads-here!

    • Oh I’ve been meaning to watch that. Just settling in to watch a movie – really want to watch Queen of Earth.

      • I’ll look for that one (prefer movies I’ve heard nothing about).

        One rec I just got is PASSENGER PIGEONS (the movie set in Kentucky; not the documentary about real birds) but neither Netflix nor Amazon have it. Bummer.

        Anyone here use an app called “Acorn” to stream? Feedback?

        • If it’s the Acorn I’m thinking of, they have primarily British programs. I set it up for a friend and added it as an app on her Roku and she’s pretty happy with the selection

      • Hey, if you like EM, this may be of interest to ya:

        LISTEN UP PHILLIP
        When a self-obsessed novelist (Jason Schwartzman) has problems with his novel and his girlfriend (Elisabeth Moss), he seeks refuge in his mentor’s cottage where the peace and quiet allow him to focus on his favorite subject – himself.
        Starring: Jason Schwartzman, Elisabeth Moss

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