Typecasting 101: Julia Allison & The Dance of Insanity

insanity

Per Skankatron 3000B:

Five years ago, my definition of success changed drastically. Whereas before I had been focusing on achievement in the traditional realm (and achieved it repeatedly only to find it rather empty), I decided I would change my definition of success.

I would know true success when I was invited to dance on stage at Burning Man and successfully did so. It’s representative of so much that’s right in my world when it happens and this is now the third year I’ve experienced it. It hasn’t gotten old and doesn’t feel empty one bit.

I’m not the best dancer, but my heart sure is in it and thanks to my partners (Jess Johnson last year and Myka Mclaughlin this year) I do okay. And it feels awesome so I don’t care that much how it looks.

This picture is the Camp Mystic dancers in the green room (the Mystic Flyer, envisioned by Timothy Johnson and Jennifer Russell and carried out by amazing Mystic crew).

We were just getting ready for our ‪#‎burningman2015‬ performance “Radical Reflections: The Shadow and Light of the Looking Glass”

Each of us embodied a unique reflection of the dimensions of life: mind, body, spirit, heart, time, and life.

Myka McLaughlin and I danced addiction/pleasure. That’s my addiction face in this picture. wink emoticon
Sonya Stewart and Julia Maryanska danced heartbreak and union
Adelle Juliet and Julia Allison danced wisdom and insanity
Jena la Flamme and Techa Beau danced crisis and serentiy
Mia Cara and Jess Johnson danced time, patience and ease
Jennifer Russell and @shanti danced life and death.

Narration and poetry by Stacey Morgenstern (not pictured) and hopefully she’ll post the poem she wrote to host the performance.

Thanks, Ali. I can’t wait for that woo-tastic poem. So happy that you found “true success” for the first time once again. How many times does this happen per week?

This is the adolescent crap you’re bankrolling, Peter Baugher?

This just in: Shanti finds Julia Allison possesses “significant neurological abilities.” Like telekinesis? Jesus, Skankatron, no matter how much you butter her up, Julie’s never going to give you Robin & Petey’s retirement savings.

julie dance

shantidance

141 COMMENTS

  1. also: funny, her ‘insanity’ face looks a whole lot like her ‘second date blowjob’ face, no?

  2. “Whereas before I had been focusing on achievement in the traditional realm (and achieved it repeatedly only to find it rather empty)”

    It is insane how many times she starts a diatribe by telling the world what she “used” to care about, and how amazing she was at it. These are just a few snippets that took me 2 minutes to find:

    “My life was as traditional as you could get. Graduated first in my class from Georgetown Law, got married, and pregnant, clerked for a Judge on the US Court of Appeals, and then went to work at one of the best law firms in the US. I did it all “right.” Yet, it felt so wrong.”

    “As you likely know by now if you’ve spent any time around these parts, I’ve hit the same level in my businesses 3 times now. I’ve broken 7-figures, time and time again, which for most people would be the ultimate in next level success. But we all have our easy to get to thermostat and for me it just happens to be a million, million and a half a year in revenue with me keeping about 25-33% of that.
    And no matter whether your thermostat is stuck at $5,000/mo or $100,000/year or $500,000/year or $1mm/year — stuck is stuck is stuck.”

    “I’m at quite the interesting place in my life and business. I’ve been here twice before and both times before, I struck out. The first time was in 2008, I had hit a million dollars of revenue in my first business for two years in a row and I had started a second business that was on track to a million. I had published a bestselling book and I was ready to shift from my one-to-one service based law practice into spending all my time coaching other lawyers and educating families and business owners about the benefits of legal planning. So, I sold my law practice. But, I did it all wrong. Instead of making any money on it, I lost $250,000. Strike 1.”

    And honestly, if i cared to spend 10 more minutes on it, i could find 2o more examples of the same regurgitated, humble-bragging, drivvle. I mean, if i was her “audience” wouldn’t I “get it” by now. Not to mention the fact that she had to declared bankruptcy – so she can’t really say she achieved anything repeatedly. Had she actually had success, these lines would still be obnoxious and braggy, the fact that she didn’t have any, just makes her look delusional to anyone with a brain.

      • HA! Good catch. I was so focused on how obnoxious the statement was to realize that it actually made zero logical sense.

    • What is the definition of bestselling book? I hear people reference their bestselling books all of the time and then I look and look on the NYT lists and, nope.

      • Bestselling Book of Books Bought By My Mom By People She Birthed

        Bestselling Handwritten-Pamphlet at That One Talk I Gave In My Backyard That One Time

        Best Selling Book, as listed on Someone’s Blog after we made a deal to each write a post declaring each other’s book’s best sellers.

        Best Selling Book on Amazon, in the category of self-published, romance-memoirs about the Spirit Animal Diet, based on sales during a three-hour time period, one Wednesday five years ago.

        “Best” “Selling” “Book” (In that I think I am the BEST and I’m sure that when I get around to writing a book it will sell out since it will be so awesome. This I have pre-update my Facebook profile to works at Author at Book Deal.)

    • It’s funny how she keeps figure-dropping all those alleged financial achievements and how rich and successful she was, only to tell you that that’s not what counts.

      Ali, the semiotics, you are doing it wrong.

    • I didn’t realize this was Scali’s diary entry until the middle of this comment when you said ‘pregnant/married.’ The post and the sentiments are so much Julia. NORMAL HEALTHY JULIA THAT I AM TODAY. Like, every other day.

  3. Julia’s feeling insecure about La Phelm keeping up that post and the nod to the basement calling Ali her sister after the very rough sisterectomy.
    Look ladies of the cat I still have a sister. Overcompensating sinking into the post-drug-fuck-lull.

  4. AHHH!!!!! I am half puking half laughing at this one:

    On phone with the only person I talk to about BM after they go – great person, totally legitimate and down to earth etc etc. He’s going on and on about this or that and all of a sudden says:

    “So have you heard of Camp Mystic”

    I spit up my boxed wine – yes, yes I said…he proceeds to tell me that they are a nutso group of polygamists and that he had one friend in the camp – stops by one day and no one is to be found -no one. He finally sees someone and asks – where is everyone? Answer:

    “Oh, they’re all in the tent having an orgy”

    All 160 or so of them.

    I. CANNOT.

    • W.o.W all those takers how’d that work out? Three hours of waiting for someone to think of someone other than themself? Also (vom)

    • Camp Septic, where “Who’s your daddy?” soon becomes “Shit, who’s tbe father?”

      • I know. I don’t even think I wanted to know this. What would 2008 Julia say about such filth? It’s a good thing NGMB didn’t stick around for this phase.

        • NGMB would be so proud of Julie’s transformation into a festival DJ groupie who participates in drug fueled orgies. Let it unfold.

        • This is the chick who walked out of Hair because there was nudity. Now she is participating in orgies with 100 dirty stinky stoned hippie grifters while tripping balls. All righty then.

          • Wait, I missed that. The condom dress donkey who aped fellatio while in lingerie sitting on the lap of an old creepy man walked out of Hair because nudity? Wha?

          • That was during the Prom King era. Just before he ran screaming into the night with his credit cards on fire.

  5. I’m reaching a point where I’m having trouble taking anything I read on the internet seriously. maybe I’ve spent too much time around troll culture. I can’t read this stuff and believe that it isn’t elaborate parody, trolling, or sarcasm. I know that can’t be true and that I must live in a bubble where I’ve cut people like this completely out of my life somehow. anyone else have trouble with this or is it easy to believe they are totally genuine.

    the fawning is so gross. This is summer camp fireside skit quality performances at best. a bunch of dirty 5/10s in Aladdin pants shaking their tits and arching their backs with their arms straight up, doing that wide legged Zulu stomp… cmon, ive seen that shit a million times and you didn’t even practice! have fun, but Christ lay off the superlatives.

    “It’s representative of so much that’s right in my world when it happens” – wat

    • I hear you. This is like horse_ebooks level of crazy, but it isn’t going to turn out to be an interactive online game. It’s hard to believe people with this level of idiocy and self-delusion manage to brush their teeth in the morning without putting someone’s eye out.

    • I can’t believe this group of so called feminists or sisters really think they are contributing some sort of philosophical movement. They could not be more offensive to me a woman.
      “And all that’s right to me in my world”. Perfect. Forget all the shit that’s happening globally. Never mind that racism and bigotry are getting a louder and more obnoxious platform to spew their nonsense.
      You girls just keep dancing and gyrating for all the mens at your stupid and uninspired camp craptic.
      I can’t with this fucking simple minded idiots today.

      • Thank you for this. It is so amazingly offensive to me, this WE DANCED FOR ALL THE GIRLS self-aggrandizing horseshit. Fine, do your camp skits or whatever but don’t fucking pretend you are a gaggle of Malalas ffs.

    • If any of those people had any history of artistic talent, I would tend to agree with you: this is just an elaborate piece of performance art commenting on the inanity of the Internet and bringing attention to the negative aspects of the Woo (a la Bell Littlejohn http://www.theguardian.com/news/2001/mar/09/guardianobituaries ).

      Sadly, none of those people has ever had anything interesting to say or to show, so I am gonna go with the theory that they are just a bunch of lazy idiots.

  6. I’ll just bet Adelle Juliet loooooooooves A Donkey right back.

    CTG and Ms. Juliet flew in to Burning Man. Betcha Hulie was jealous.

        • I didn’t know who that was, so I googled – I bet he LOVED having this site come up as the 6th and 7th results on his google search.

          How long until people wise up to the fact that they are going to be judged when they keep the company of A Donkey (and never her the way they should)?

  7. I hope CL isn’t wasting a minute worrying about these fake talentlesless superficial treacherous c—-s.

    • Wouldn’t it be great if Jean B chimed in their facebook feed to ask about her favorite dancer from last year, Caeli La?

  8. This is the “green room” at camp mystic?? It looks like the back of a crappy stretch hummer limo that’s bringing a bunch of whores to some desperate men on a business trip to Atlantic City.

    • This is the remnants of the vanity mutant vehicle that they apparently couldn’t get approved or funded.

    • “Nah, don’t waste the boss’s cash on the high-end ones, these guys are baked off their faces and won’t care if you get the 40 bucks an hour old leathery ones.”

  9. So you can gauge someone’s intelligence by their dance spasms? And we call these jerky jerky movements neurological abilities? Interesting.

    • Was wondering if that person was calling her insane and stupid in an underhanded way tbh

      That or whoever spoke was high as phuck

        • Aaaaaaand it all leads back to NLP, doesn’t it? I went down the rabbit hole of the internet marketing “business” (which I still don’t understand– it’s woos coaching other woos to be woo coaches, and somehow they all make money?) and it seems like all these woos have taken NLP training.

          The other day a catlady linked to the Salty Droid’s exposé of Ali Shanti and the “internet marketing” “community,” and with just a fee clicks there’s Marie Forleo, an alpha woo who calls her weeks-long online class “B-School” and refers to “graduates” and “faculty”; and Lewish from Mess Despised, who sells an online “Greatness Academy” or some such BS; and a gaping-mawed Sarah Jenks, Noodles’ partner in the lose-5-pounds-and-you’ll-be-happy brand of woo. They’re all connected in some great web of “coaching” and “heart-based business,” which means separating people from their money in a kind way.

          TL;DR: the woos are everywhere.

        • of course they are into NLP

          of course they are

          “how to mind-control other people and manipulate them into doing what you want them to with the POWAH of your LANGUAGE MAGICKS”

    • I was thinking more along the lines of something spectacular. Like Carrie White.

      “It’s not Satan, Mama. If I concentrate long enough, I can move things!”

      • Except her dirtypillows are located on the opposite end of her body. And they resemble a raft. /bodysnark

    • And she decides if her own dance is successful or not. Just like declaring your own book a “best-seller”. Surrrrrrrrrrrrre it is.

      • Aaaand the stage she was invited to ‘perform’ on was the Tramp Cystic one? So, not even a proper stage somewhere outside her own camp? Yep, THIS IS SUCCESS.

        All this crap about performance. I bet if they were asked to perform the same dance again, it wouldn’t look like the first one, other than being unprofessional, lacking in talent and full of Donkey stomps. There wouldn’t be any actual choreography that could be replicated other than “You stand over there and I’ll stand here and then we’ll gyrate for the masculine.”

  10. OT: This site is performing super slow for me today. I wonder if all of the Woos are back from BM and reading through everything?!

    • Also on Shamti’s page, her 10th burning man must have failed to fully validate her goddess essence, so she’s taking off this weekend to cleanse her DNA or something.

      Special Bonus => How to Practice Tax Evasion Like a Woo

      “Investment: $150 cash (includes 21 days of Hawaiian Huna prayer treatment following the ceremony.)
      Please Note: Cash payment is required by Alaya as the exchange of energy goes directly from participant to teacher when cash payment is made, and not through a bank. Place the money into an envelope with your intentions and a prayer – requesting that for this energy exchange you will receive the benefit for highest good. Present Alaya with the envelope at the time allotted.”

    • This also infuriates me. I do a lot of advocacy work for public education. I live in one of the backward ass states that is defunding our public schools. Our teachers are compensated very poorly and there is very little incentive for teachers to work in our state. Somehow, teachers have somehow become seen as the bad guy, when in reality, their curriculum is set by state and local government. Sure, there are bad teachers, but in many cases, they are underpaid and under appreciated. Ali’s article reinforces the notion that teachers are the bad guys. I’m all for people choosing the type of eduction they want for their kids but not every one has a choice. And for someone, who clearly benefited from a solid education, she could at least support her choice for homeschooling without dissing formal education.

      • teachers, wanting salaries, and pensions, as if they had rights and were human

        i alas live in a red state but not forever

      • This.

        Off to work now, where I will try doing an interpretive dance on ‘staying in schoolness’ to counteract the anti vibes she has released into the inter tubes of our collective consciousness. My students call this ‘mz cakez tripping over the laptop cord… again.’

    • As a teacher of at-risk youth who fights every day to convince them not to drop out, I want to rip her reptilian face from her head every time she starts this shit.

      • @mcakez:

        I find it odd that you hurt yourself by working within a limiting paradigm. You’d be doing a lot more for those kids by encouraging them to take the advice Ali gave to her own daughter – point them toward an enlightened MLM scam. This, this is success.

        I’m genuinely concerned about your adrenals.

        • isn’t traditional school how children get calcified pineal glands?

          this is worrisome in the extreme

      • Amen to all that, and you are my hero. I used to work in the non-profit sector and spent time in public schools in rough, low-income neighborhoods and saw some amazing people (teachers, administrators, parent volunteers) doing the hardest work imaginable. Fuck these overprivileged woomonsters.

        • Teachers in a school district near me are working without pay right now. It is disgusting and they are amazing.

    • She’s criminal and all those who choose to be around her are guilty by association. I hope CL realizes this and breaks free.

  11. Wow! I step away for like 10 minutes and I come back to TWO posting full of Donkey ridiculousness! Catladies be on fire!

    Anyway, it looks like the digital detox lasted a grand total of zero days.

    CWAGDMFA.

    • I wonder if she was advised to act normal and pretend like a major bomb has not been dropped, so she’s posting inane crap as usual, hoping everyone will forget, and acting like it doesn’t fry her face off to see that post still remaining on Jena’s page.

      Also, nice pic, Big Mouth Strikes Again.

  12. What the everliving Phuck?? “Only someone with significant neurological abilities????” Dancing onstage at BM (heh) is a success signifier? So much crazy to parse—it’s in the queue.

    • Translation (unnamed person to Ali):
      “I thought your friend Julia was profoundly learning disable. After watching her dance, I now see there is SOMETHING wrong with her, but not that.”

      Translation (Ali to Julia):
      My friends think you are stupid and I wanted you to know that.

      • My husband literally thought Julie had a severe cognitive disability when he saw her Sony Vaio thing, and he was bemused that they were marketing specifically to that demographic.

        I am not kidding at all.

  13. Ugh this is sickening! I remember something from WAAY back of a woman commenting on Ali’s Facebook thread (I believe it was the one where she had written about being “bullied” – couldn’t find the RBD link, but I know it’s here) about how, when she met Ali, she felt like Ali was waiting for her (the commenter) to worship her (Ali), and this is exactly what I see in this post, and most things Ali and JA post. But I can’t figure out if it is loud insecurities, delusions, both, etc.??

  14. Rainbow Brite wiped the blood from her mouth. It had been unpleasant work, she and her sisters attacking, slaughtering and devouring the Care Bears. But in the end it had brought them great power. They had acquired….THE STARE.

    (From my upcoming three-part novel, Snorks of the Fourth Reich)

  15. This Burning Man looks so gross and decadent in the worst way. I’d love to see an experience of it that is appealing.

      • Thanks. I left LA a year and a half ago for FL for my health and sometimes I miss it. This post reminds me why I dont.

      • “I wash the ass of an old man with the same love and care as the hands of a beautiful young woman.”

        As you do.

        • I know! Sober= doing drugs every day?? I also felt like he was fudging the ladies stuff for his girlfriend’s sake.

          I would love to see “Documentary Now!” Do an epi on Burning Man and what happens when they come down. Or just Burning Man in general.

          • Definitely lying about keeping his dick to himself. According to him, he’s had at least two other serious girlfriends in the past year, so how serious are he and poor now-scabies-riddled Liz anyway?

        • oh but he’s a better drug user than all you losers. He’s doing drugs the right way. Everyone else is just getting fucked up.

      • Ew, gross intern-fucker.

        Also, who hasn’t seen friends naked? Does dudebro not know how to swim? Did a sauna kill his pa? It’s not a transcendent life experience, it’s just a stage of undress.

      • “Somewhere along the way at around 3 or 4 in the morning we pull off to the side of the highway to take a piss outside in the middle of rural Nevada. The stars and galaxies put their best show on for us. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars before. I look straight up into the sky as I pee, shivers racing through my body from the beauty of the stars, the chill of the air, and the fluid leaving my body. I’m being completely fucked by the moment, waves of energy pulsing through my body similar to that of an orgasm. We haven’t even gotten there yet and I’m feeling the magic already.”

        oh ffs

        CWAA

      • “I love exploring new souls who have no idea who I am.”

        The real reason Ali, Julia and the rest of the grifters go every year.

  16. Dance, art, performance, life: Donkey, you’re doing it wrong.
    Insanity: ok, you’ve got that one nailed.

  17. I need help understanding these outfits. Help. They are at once too many clothes and no clothes, over and under dressed. The wearers look both hot and cold. It looks like they were made from too many dead animals or just gold painted plastic. I’m lost.

    It’s like you cover only the head, bosom, crotch, and calfs with heavy, asymmetrical deconstructed garments that look like they could fall off any second. Then another layer, going in the other directions, with an additional material. Don’t forget the next “chain/strings” layer followed by the tassel/feather set… I’m lost.

  18. Skankatron is posting non-stop, everything from patting herself on the back re: the money map to paragraphs of gobbeldy goop about Powerful Feminine Leadership. She’s tried to operate a feminine empowerment scam before and it sounds as though the old raunch is going to resurrect it, especially after she reached the next level during the intense transformational energy that nurtured the Camp Septic strip show.

    Jesus, lady, do you ever give it a rest?

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