Ineffably Hypocritical: Internet Personality Julia Allison Weeps Over Internet Culture

sonyallison

Yoo hoo, Cory!

If this doesn’t make you cry, or make you feel a little sick … you need to look into your heart and ask yourself what’s going on.

If I am blessed to have children, I don’t want to raise them staring at a screen.

cc Levi Felix

Hasn’t this video been kicking around for months? Timely Donkey is timely.

97 COMMENTS

  1. This one is obviously about how great a step-mother our Julie will be for new dude’s kid. She’s so gross and transparent.

  2. Fuck off with the “You need to …” shit, Donkey. I don’t need to do a Goddamn thing. You worthless imbecile.

  3. If you watch only one video today…on the Internet…that I searched for on the computer…after reading about this powerful, one video on a woo blog…in between posting pictures of myself on my facebook page…after crowd sourcing freebees on Burning Man sites.

    Irony. You got it, Donk.

    • LOL. This. “Other people are addicted to electronics!” says the Donkey who used her iPhone in church. “Other people are losing touch with nature!” says the Donkey who stays in a luxury villa while everyone else camps on the beach. “If you don’t weep over this ad for granola bars, you have no soul” says the Donkey who’s learning about children from a commercial.

        • Few options to learn when you’re the jackass whose own bro & s-i-l won’t allow ya to be alone w/ your own nephew — dude w/ kid might want to figure out why that is (if her trtmt of an aged dog isn’t enough of a glaring clue, that is).

  4. Okay, I see people post updates/tips on posts sometimes, so I’m just going for it.

    Julia is quoted and discussed somewhat in-depth in Brian Abrams’ “Gawker: An Oral History,” which was released as a Kindle e-book today. Has anyone mentioned this? I was paging through the book for other reasons and was like, oh, ha ha, there’s old Julia Allison. For whatever reason it was free for me to read. I can’t copy and paste but she introduces herself by saying, “I don’t have a high opinion of Gawker. I’m a complex being, way more than anyone realizes.” Emily Gould basically says she had fun hanging out with Julia a few times and liked her but they weren’t close friends. A handful of others weigh in and you get the impression that Gawker and Julia had a symbiotic relationship, which honestly isn’t news to me. At the beginning Julia implies that there was something sexist about the way she was treated, which I agree with, though that’s not to say she was bothered by it as she was profiting off of it. She then come around to say that she’s discovered Burning Man and is now a new and better person, which everyone reading this blog already knows.

    I really hope no one else has covered this!

      • I meant like, I hope no one else has posted a comment about it so it’s not redundant?

        I’m also definitely not the author of the book, if that’s what you’re implying. The book itself is like, not worth looking at unless you have a giant disgusting crush on someone who worked at Gawker 10 years ago and want to see if he’s discussed and/or quoted. (He’s not.) I found the whole thing ~kinda stupid.

        • His stuff is usually really well researched, I’ll definitely read it, though never mention to him that I read here – my secret shame.

          • The problem is that it’s mostly a mixed bag of people who worked for or were orbiting Gawker talking about Gawker, and some of them bring interesting material and some of them don’t. Case in point: Julia Allison.

          • I also think a lot of my enjoyment of it was hampered by the e-book format, which made the flow of the whole thing really g.d. annoying, though I suspect that’s personal preference.

      • “Emily Gould basically says she had fun hanging out with Julia a few times and liked her but they weren’t close friends.” Only daddy PAID friends respond that way.

    • Speaking of Gawker, I was shocked to learn this weekend that Denton and Gaby Derbyshire were romantically involved. Apparently it wasn’t a huge secret, either. Did I miss this being reported at some point? (Found this out from impeccable sources close to both Denton and Gaby.)

    • From our oral history I was under the impression Julia showed up at gawker with a fucking cheerleader outfit on. Now who’s being sexist? I think time has showed her to be little more than another fame whore, notable only for the existence of this site.

        • She was at her thinnest in the Condom Fairy Outfit. It was her zenith. She obviously thought she was so hot (and comparatively she was): thighs were “proportional,” any weird cosmetic calf surgery either hadn’t happened yet or was concealed by those hideous crinkle-patent pleather boots, she wasn’t yet resorting to full-body ace bandage bondage wrapping, so her butt still looked like a human body part instead of a donut-shaped flotation device, some “ineffably talented” “artist” had troweled on enough slap to bring out her “true beauty.” How it must GALL her to look back on it all now. (And how it must delight catladies across the land. Well this one, anyway.)

        • Yes, Denton wondered what kind of self-promoting jackass would show up in that attire and began to promote her as a joke. So sexist of him to force Donkey to wear those porno skirts!

      • Yes! Gawker once posted a video of her arguing with a transit cop who was giving her a ticket because she (naturally) double parked while doing a cheer in front of the Gawker offices. She didn’t think she should get a ticket because “People doing cheers should never get tickets!” No joke.

      • the cheerleader outfit: anyone remember the time she tried to get out of a parking ticket by telling the traffic enforcement person “i was doing a cheer”?

    • Julia can fuck off with the victim shit. Gawker/Valleywag is the only way many of us even know she exists.

    • That’s interesting because I recall that Donkey left Lily with Emily a couple of times when she went out of town (she would always post a picture of Lily in the Gawker offices when she went to pick her up) at the time I though that meant that she was actually friends with Emily. Now I realize that the truth was Donkey dumped her dog on a person who considered her a casual acquaintance.

        • Yeah, the mommy blogger Emily is different from the tattooed Gawker Emily. I think the former lived in Donkey’s building. And I doubt the latter would have succumbed to Donkey’s pet-foisting manipulations, but who knows… in any event, it is cheering to consider, given Donkey’s peripathetic travel schedule, that that poor dog at least gets to bask in loving caretaking frequently. I think Donkey’s back in town now, so poor little thing is probably being dragged around the Marina, nails desperately grasping the sidewalk for purchase, at this very moment.

        • Nope, Emily Gould. The other Emily, too, maybe. But she used to brag that Emily Gould was one of her “regular” (like twice) pet sitters.

    • Thanks for the tip!

      Can we get a running talley of the way Julia was ‘sexistly’ treated during her Gawker days? We already had two mentioned:
      1. How they forced her to wear a condom fairy costume and expose her nether haunches to the world.

      2. Their insistece that she don a cheerleading uniform and stalk their offices while being humiliated by a meter Molly for not knowing how to park since she’s just a cute silly girl.

      A personal fave of mine:
      3. The time they made her film a segment where she said women expire after the ripe old age of thirty. How could they put those words in her mouth?

      • That time Gawker made a scantily-dressed Julia Allison pose w/ the random old fart off the street & suck on his stogie so that they could post said fauxto-shoot, which consummate fame whore Julia Allison totally signed off on. #ThoThexith!

      • When Julia, a woman in technology person who used Twitter, attended crashed tech conferences, she was forced to wear costumes and pink ribbons and ruffles while the men all wore business suits. Then the men forcibly picked her up and carried her, while forcing her to plant kisses on their cheeks or blow kisses at the camera.

        • WHY ARE MEN STILL FORCING WOMEN TO ACT LIKE BIMBOS FOR ATTENTION

          ASHTON, HOW CAN WE HELP

          FOR ALL THE GIRLS

      • The Expiration Date interview wasn’t for Gawker. It was part of a documentary on aging. The whole world conspired to make Donkey look vapid! Even people who had no idea who she was!

      • Okay, to be fair to her, she does not outright say “sexist”; that was me summarizing her remarks. It’s definitely implied rather than outright stated.

  5. Scoldy, sententious Donkey is usually the most desperate Donkey. What has whipped her scheme butter, I wonder?

      • I WOULD BE A GREAT MOTHER, CORY!! LOOK AT HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT KIDS!! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, CORY!!

        • ALTHOUGH I SPEND 100% OF MY CONSCIOUS TIME ONLINE I DO NOT AT ALL ENDORSE THAT PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY CHILDREN I WILL NEVER HAVE) SPEND 100% OF THEIR CONSCIOUS TIME ONLINE.

          • I SPEND 100% OF MY CONSCIOUS TIME ONLINE WHILST PRETENDING TO BE NOT EATING MEAT AGAIN AFTER EATING MEAT BUT PRETENDING TO NOT EAT MEAT

  6. Mike Hosking is an absolute fucking dick and I’m not surprised that Julia likes something he’d post on his page.

      • He used to be the biggest square who ever squared in a square way until he started an obvious affair with his on-air partner who is an anorexic fame whore.

        Seriously, they sued the one papparazzi photog we’ve got in NZ for taking “revealing” photos of them (having coffee) & their respective kids while they were fucking around on their respective partners.

        He & his now wife are both such fashion victims these days, selling the selfie photos of their shopping vacays in LA to the womens’ mags – just like all serious journalists do.

        He’s a right wing troll to the nth degree. Ugh. Can you tell I hate him?

  7. Cory may want to inquire about why Julia’s never been left alone with her own nephew.

    • Word. The kid gets more attention at family gatherings, not a good idea to leave him alone with attention whore aunt Julia.

  8. Uh.. that old man is describing a dog chasing him down while riding a bike and throwing fish at the dog so it wouldn’t bite him …. that doesn’t sound like a fun way for a child to be spending time. If I had a kid I’d rather they stayed inside and played video game (work on that hand eye coordination, kid!) than risk getting bitten by a rabid dog by carting fish around.

    Also, that ASCPA commercial music could make anything sound sad and dire.

      • Dear Greg, she is the most bitter a-hole alive. You’re not a journalist, you’re not in tech, you don’t belong at Google in the first place, so shut up.

        Also, complaining about “landfill-ready plastic”? Donkey, your life is plastic. Do you think your billions of tutus and costumes and storage boxes are made of organic cotton?

        ALSO, every paragraph you wrote is gramatically incorrect, Ms “Writer.” It’s “their having,” “their doing,” “their mentioning,” and not “them doing,” etc.

        • Well, Donks sure showed them. Today everybody reads (w)hore-scrolling (Live Differently! Lol!) Tumblrs, watches her critically-acclaimed Bravo documentary series, and marvels at her revolutionary ability to go on vacations. And who the fuck even remembers what a “Google” was?

          And soon, we might not even remember what a “Gawker” was, if the relaunch rumors are true. If that comes to pass, it will cement the fact that Julia is a relic from an era that has now well and truly ended. Expiration date, indeed.

      • I am not a writer or a journalist but I try and most days fail. But I keep trying. That said “yesterday night,” or last night.

      • the voice is nothing but mean and rude and stupid; not a sliver of kindness, grace, curiosity or any other redeeming human virtue

    • Ugh, there’s that “Dip me, Little Brother Britt, so that Dad$er can fauxtograph my perfectly symmetrical cleavage!” fauxto again …

    • SHE has LITERALLY NEVER been funny. I am LITERALLY cringing. And her padded bras are insane.

      “I met the cutest girl, AND she went Cambridge! Couldn’t you just kill her?”
      “She’s smart AND she has great legs! Aren’t you jealous?”
      “The ridiculously gorgeous AND nice so-and-so! Can you believe that attractive people aren’t jerks?!”
      “Don’t hate the ineffably beautiful so-and-so; she’s actually really sweet!”

      And can’t stand this weird back-handed, self-deprecating sucking up. Such a warped view of women from this “feminist.”

    • That video from the TechCrunch thing summer ’07 is how I discovered Julia and her weird fame whoring. 😀

      I remember the girl interviewing her and Meghan actually mentioned, more than once, how Julia was probably wallet hunting there too..

    • From that last link, to that horrible memory lane filled with creeps and garbage and dogshit:

      If I had my own Julia version of the Gawker Stalker, I would report that shortly after introducing myself to a completely disinterested (but HOT) Ivanka Trump [conspicuously absent – boy-mogul-toy Jared Kushner], I saw myself knock a wine glass out of her hand, splashing it all over, shattering it on the ground, and mauling the feet of various party-goers while she looked at me as if I had a serious form of contagious mental retardation. Super smooth. As usual.

      Good going, you clomping socialite! No wonder Ivanka looked askance, as you brayed at her. And it’s “uninterested” you dear stupid clumsy beast.

    • Awww, down that execrable Julia blog page there’s a pic of Mare Mare Beach Hair with her old tits and one of her wrist-testicle (wristicle?) bags! Oh, the memories.

  9. When is Julia going to post a link to this video as the “the ONE thing you must watch today?” http://www.buzzfeed.com/dayshavedewi/what-is-privilege#.tgrWLNwPD

    I know Buzzfeed can be kind of ridiculous, but all I really want is for Julia to take a look at the wide, deep safety net she has to live this lifestyle for a decade or more. Acknowledge the fact that she lives an incredibly privileged existence that has absolutely nothing to do with the hard work she put in, but the fact that her parents are loaded and she was raised to believe that she is amazing and deserves the world. I guess that makes me a jealous hater, but the older I get and the less I have to show for what I’ve done in my career so far, the more Julia makes me want to scream. On one hand, I feel mean for enjoying this site, but on the other, when Julia’s biggest care in life is not having a boyfriend she can just go fuck right off.

    Sorry for the navel gazing, catladies. I’m turning 29 tomorrow and I’m an educated, experienced person who still has to wait tables at night to make ends meet (I live in San Francisco and didn’t get on the tech train in time. My bad). I’m disappointed I’m not where I thought I would be in life, and I depend on tips from 24 year old brats in order to barely get by. Ok I’m done. Gonna go get that white wine cold.

    • Ugh, tell me about it, and being an SF native who still lives here, though also struggling, I feel like we’re living in a city of Julias now. Happy early birthday, though! Shall we get birthday drinks (mine was last week) and commiserate and snark?

    • No, no, you don’t understand. Even though Julia is even more wildly privileged than that article describes, she actually has it worse than anyone in the whole wide world, because she sometimes feels BAD about herself. She is just so hard on herself! Her childhood was traumatic, because she was the nerdy overachieving Protestant girl, remember? Remember how hard she worked at…. wait… remember all the effort she put into…. wait… remember all the challenges she overcame when…. nevermind.

    • It’s my birthday, turning 31 :] happy birthday, i’ll tip mucho extra to everyone that serves me in hopes it gets you to where you need to go !

    • i used to understand the feeling of being annoyed by the idea that julia got a lot handed to her, but now i just look at it like … dude, would you really swap places with her? i am just beginning to learn how to like myself these days, but if it is between being her or being me? i fucking LOVE myself!

  10. Just noticed … Ellsberg has been quiet for nearly a week …
    Ya’ll suppose he’s been 5150’d?

    • If he’s still in London perhaps he hooked up with someone at Torture Garden and is on a bender?

    • I read most of that daddy issues article he had in the washington post or whereever it was.. God… Why was that there? Why? The commenters want to know too. The way people revere that dudes dad, you’d think he was more important than Edward Snowden.

      • for people who know who his father was, it’s a double demographic bonus; a tragedy, for those who saw him as a hero, a joke for those who were fawning acolytes of the administration and blind to the lies

  11. If I am blessed to have children, I don’t want to raise them staring at a screen.

    Imagine how your mother feels about your past ten years, asshole.

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