Mom of the Year Ali Shanti Reveals Her Secret: ALWAYS Bring the Focus Back to YOURSELF

fucked up shanti

Ali has reached the next level! How does she do it?

How the “worst” 90-minutes of my day turned into the best.

Over the past few months, I’ve been called deeper into motherhood.

Re-focusing on my kids and their needs has called me deeper into my own self-awareness, seeing all the places I needed my own re-parenting.

Places in my self I had ignored in the name of independence and strength made their way to the forefront of my awareness.

Today, I am far more vulnerable, my heart is tender and I feel more alive.

This morning, I got to get both kids ready for school, drive them each and drop them (Noah is shadowing at a Waldorf school we are considering for him for next year) before returning home to meditate with Michael Jacobs and start my work day.

I feel so grateful to be able to enjoy this simple pleasure that in the past I didn’t really savor. In the past, if I “had” to do it because their dad wasn’t available, I could only think of the 90 minutes of “lost” productivity, but now I realize this may be the best 90 minutes of my day.

I’m curious – what’s one thing you used to resist that now you love? And what shifted it?

breastfeeding

She wouldn’t be Skankatron 3000B without a daily affirmation  ew overshare:

I don’t know this woman, but I love seeing her and her baby nursing on the cover of Elle.

A little known fact about me is that I breastfed each of my kids for 5 years.

I am most proud of this because I did it through moving cross country, working at one of the best law firms in the country, starting my own law practice, getting divorced and building my first million dollar business.

I stood for the rights of breastfeeding mother’s as a legal advocate, met many of my best friends and built healthy children.

It’s so good to see the world waking up to what’s “normal” and optimizing for more of what we want.

Today, I am once again reconnected w my motherhood more than I have been since my days as a breastfeeding mama and I am re-awakening to what matters most. More on that another time …

eco womb tour

“Another time” will soon be coming your way.  Yes, in the grand tradition of Ryan Swain and Michael Ellsberg, Shantitown is creating a global revolution … from her RV!  Ali and her three children will be taking her grift on the road:

Four years ago, I began to have a dream of a caravan, touring around the country, spreading the message of personal sovereignty, love and liberation (financial + emotional, spiritual and physical).

Some dreams take longer than others to come to fruition. But if you hold onto the vision and keep taking baby steps, you will eventually see your dream realized.

Today, another step is happening. A big step. We are ready to wrap the RV and prepare it for the first leg of the tour under the guidance, leadership and direction of Lotus Sattva.

If the old raunch’s son is hostile now, just wait til he spends summer vacation cramped in an RV with Lotus Sunblossom, Mom & Fozzie doing god knows what, and suitcases stuffed with weed & sex toys.

shanti eye lash

115 COMMENTS

        • She always includes “going to the lash salon” as part of her memememe goddess ritual. They’re fake. And also another example of Shanti’s fiscal responsibilitahahahahahahahaha

      • As someone who has had eye pelts installed, I am also confused by the situation. First, they’re all different lengths. There seems to be one set of long, spikey lashes (which are all different lengths) and another set of shorter lashes behind them.

        Since lash extensions (the good kind) are attached to individual lashes, these don’t seem to be extensions (because they would be attached to her own, shorter lashes that are visible behind the pelts.) Also, professional pelt-makers would never do such a sloppy, unnatural-looking job.

        However, she does seem to wake up at every dirt festival with these things in place, so perhaps they are permanently attached. I sure wouldn’t pay money for them.

  1. Wow. This just reiterates what an absent, resentful parent she’s been over the years.

    She made it clear enough in her rhinestone-crying-off video when she referred to “spending some time with the kids” as a novelty activity.

    • PLEASE!!! She’s only driving them to school until Baby Jedi gets his driver’s license. Then they’re his responsibility!

    • I can’t believe she posted that the worst part of her day was spending time doing actual mom shit with her kids. The literal worst. Wow. Annnnnd, she’s friends with said kids on facebook. She is doing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to fuck those kids up. Good job, Shanti.

      • I really needed Ali Shanti to tell me that sometimes being a parent is inconvenient. Thank God this conversation is happening.

    • Something happened here. School called, ex-husband finally snapped, CPS stopped by for a rhinestone installation-something or someone forced her to be accountable because she wants a parade for doing what millions of women (with actual jobs) do every day. She’s such a special dirtball.

  2. She’s always talking about how she does Money-Map-Magic so she can be a stay-at-home, super-present Mom to her three kids, but then all she does is park her ass in front of her computer all day and write about constant struggles and paradigms and lovers and poly and containers and money. She only does the MOM THING when nobody else will do it for her, and then she gets all “I AM SUCH A GREAT MOM” excited and posts about it all over the Internet.

    CWAA+100000000000000

  3. Breastfeeding for 5 years? I am not buying that for a second.

    She probably thinks that flashing her boobs counts as breastfeeding.

    • That kind of creeped me out, too. Not sure it’s a good idea to have a kindergarten age boy sucking on his mom’s boobs. 🙂

    • She claims to have been breastfeeding kindergarteners. If a person doesn’t live in a developing country or Westeros, that’s…unusual.

      (I am aware of child-led weaning. I am also aware that Ali-oops views her kids as free labor or inconveniences, depending on the moment.)

        • I kind of picture HER demanding it and them being forced into it.

          I weaned mine at about age 1 when I tried to settle him into position and he kind of laughed and pushed away. We were both happy to move on to another phase of life.

    • Okay, I work in a very breast feeding friendly place and I am absolutely stunned by a lot of it.

      Women attempting to feed their friends’ babies and toddlers (the bs and ts are always all ,”what the hell?”). Women who have their kids breast feeding constantly, like literally never off the breast. One child had rotten teeth (bottle mouth) because his mom couldn’t resist breast feeding him constantly. 5 year olds who are constantly grabbing at their mom’s breasts for attention, control or whatever. It is crazy. Breast feeding till a child is five if the mom is a narcissist, sure, absolutely.

  4. Everybody please close your eyes and pray that this shitshow comes to Kentucky. I will deliver pictures AND video.

    • Thanks because I’m really curious as to what, exactly, they are going to DO as they travel around. The Money Map ? Clit flicking? The Reality Show? What happens on the tour? Most people who go “on tour” are providing something that people want to pay to see. What could this be?

  5. What in the fuckery is this “eco womb tour”?

    She seems to imply that it’s her project, but I googled it and found their website. There a few picture galleries, a calendar of events, a bunch of “press” items, etc but there is no mention whatsoever of SK-3000B or her pathetic posse.

    • I think she’s just showing that as an example of the type of auto wrap she wants. Not like it’s ever going to happen.

      • Um, er, oops. My mistake for trying to get this up quickly. The old raunch just likes the eco womb wrap. So what the fuck will she and Lotus Blossom be shilling from the RV? Transformational Clit Flickery?

        • So this thing pulls up in your town, and you go, “It’s my lucky day! There’s Ali Shanti and The Toilet DJ! They are here to transform my vibrational paradigm into an enlightened soul journey of the safe container of the divine! Here’s my money; give me my map!”

          Seriously– they drive this thing around, and then what? Do they call out to people, like carnival barkers? Do they expect people to approach them out of curiosity? Are they selling stuff, while their kids nap in the back? So confusing to boring old job-having me.

          • Are they being evicted from their house? Maybe the only house they have left is the Winnebago(?)

          • ^^ This is a plausible theory. Though I will say that if Shanti gets evicted / files another BK / has some other major financial setback, I will be pretty fired up about her absolutely horrendous treatment of her children. Sorry kids, no more home, mommy needs more eye pelts. Sorry kids, college is out of the question, mommy needs to support the unemployed 19-year-old she’s banging. Ugh.

      • This is why she keeps running out of money.
        Winnebago wraps? For fuck’s sake. Really?

        • Ronnie Martin certainly can’t afford to fund Ali’s woo videos – shot by stoner Robert Love, AKA The Jazzerciser – AND an RV jaunt across America shilling god knows what! Dildos & chocolate bars?

          • And she was throwing shade on her mothers bad parenting in this post at the same time she’s spending moms retirement funds.

  6. The more I think about this the creepier it sounds.. At 5 years old most kids have been talking for a couple of years. And do breasts really continue producing milk for 5 years after giving birth?

  7. Meanwhile in Donkland, Donkey Supreme announces that she is going to Camp Grounded (digital detox for white people that has forgone bathing) by posting a massive picture on her facebook feed.

    Hey, Donkey, they point was here 3 days ago. Too bad.

    PS: Wali is unfazed, “Take me in … I wanna be home kiki emoticon”

    • Camp Grounding is happening right now; I think the post is meant to let her massive fan base know why she won’t be crowdsourcing on fb for the next 3 days. No donkey droppings until Monday, folks!

      • If anyone needs her for the next 3 days be sure to write #PAID in the Subject line, k?

        • Tranq dart to the neck is the only way she’s not checking her accounts every 30 seconds. Guess she has hives and shakes from not actually posting. Or she’s using a dummy account to release her rage against world.

    • Hmmm… why would she give up Frightening in a Bottle, a guaranteed Avocado sighting, for Camp Grounded? I’m sure she scams her way out of paying full price for either event.

      • I think there is a mark at Camp Grounded.

        Also, I think she encouraged roomie to buy tickets to LiB with her and then bailed to go to Camp Grounded (probably for said mark) instead. That’s why she had the saccharine post crowdsourcing for friends. If that’s what she did, then what a horrible douchebag to get your friend thinking that you’re going to accompany her to a weekend festival only to dump her on some other friends at the last minute.

        • Agreed.

          She ALWAYS has an ulterior motive.

          If she is not going to LiB is because she has OBO’ed Avocado for some other vegetable. The roommate is just collateral damage.

  8. I’m the same age as Ali. If I had eye wrinkles like that, I’d fucking shoot myself. Jesus Christ, lady.

    • I’m 58 and my non-botoxed, drugstore moisturized face has less wrinkles than hers. Made my otherwise shitty day semi bearable. Thanks SK3K!

    • Yes, looking at the old Alexis Neely photos from her site, it seems like she’s gone from fresh-faced and attractive to worn-out leather handbag in a relatively short time. She looks like a weather-beaten sharecropper who lost her last crop in the dust bowl.

    • Sunscreen and moisturizer are to Shantitown as garlic and crucifixes are to vampires.

      • Yes but his GF is a model, non-expired, has a 20 carat ring, it flown by Tim all over the world where he stages photo shoots for her!

        But Donkey does have car wash bras so…

        • I’m pretty sure he took a handful of trips, snapped a ton of photos, and Instagrams them periodically to make it look like he’s constantly in the Maldives when in reality he was there once three years ago. Dude is NOT as rich as he makes himself out to be, in particular because he’s spent so lavishly.

          • I’ve heard that too, but I looked through the girlfriend’s instagram and it begs to differ.

            Just saying’, a Donkey must be jealous.

          • I am pretty sure she is in on his gazillionaire con. He definitely has money, but nowhere near THAT much money. But, yes, a donkey must still be jealous.

    • I love when idiots pose with cash it makes it so much more entertaining when the inevitable indictment rolls into town-weird they never post those pictures.

  9. GOOD LORD DJ Commode has written a BOOK on fb. It is so boring that I could not read it. I think he yo-yo dieted or something for a year; I caught some stuff about expanding and contracting.

    Who the fuck do these people think they are? Holy Jesus, how is the straight TEDIUM of being around these people not fucking lethal? If I had to spend a week with Fozzie and Ali listening to them never shut the fuck up about themselves I think I would literally die of boredom.

    • Same with Ellsberg. So much masturbation about whether he should call his new hobby an “evolution” or a “revolution” yet, you know he’ll never truly do anything with it or change the world at all.

    • I’m stuck on The Maji’s assertion that he was out of money in Costa Rica until he was suddenly able to, “manifest” it. How does this manifesting go? I assume he’s talking about some woo-woo “The Secret” nonsense—the companion video to that book shows a hungry child in Africa (yeah, I know) who really wants a bike and obtains one by putting the message out to the universe. I find this shit so fucking offense. There’s judgment in this type of thinking. Because doesn’t it imply that those struggling financially are simply not manifesting what they need? Their energy is bad? They are bad? They are lazy? There’s a ton of offense implicit messages in this woo woo speak. And I don’t think they have any idea their manifesting this type of message in there smug, mostly white, entitled circle jerk.

      Also, Michael Jacobs, you get to dress like a stupid culturally-appropriating Maji because of privilege.

      • Totaljing the first time I read commodes manifesto I also got hung up on “manifesting” money but my take on it was he made a long distance call to his parents back home and that’s how it “manifested”.

      • Who has the time to wade through all of this layabout’s navel gazing? I only made it to the paragraph about Fozzie getting a job and quitting after three weeks because earning his own keep wasn’t all lollipops and aya.

        As for any money materializing in CR, Junior rifled through the backpacks of passed out woos and voila! Goddess sent him some cold hard cash!

  10. OT, but I was at Maker Faire last weekend and it was amazing what people are working on. THAT is creativity, that is Silicon Valley, and not some tutu-wearing dolt who picked up her phone and tweeted about her latest date and then proclaimed herself a “founder” and an “entrepreneur” and a “social media expert.” She is such a joke. Nobody in Silicon Valley knows or cares who she is; if they do know her, it’s in the same way people know Tan Mom or other stale internet jokes. She doesn’t DO anything.

    OMGBrit was there to give a talk on “The Future of Homemaking” or some such silliness, but I didn’t go, not even to chortle derisively.

    • Tan Mom!!!!

      Yes, it’s that level of cray & freakishness & a side dollop of wtf.
      But without the professional therapy…

  11. So apparently Smellsberg is in San Francisco staying with J. Russell and Bryan Franklin. No mention of visiting the Donkey.

        • Right. There were two different weeks she could have gone to Camp Grounded and it seems she went this week and not next.

          I think the camps were sold out last year. Not so much this year. Looks like a perfect place for arrested development types. You can just envision Tobias loving it there.

          • I glanced at the Camp Grounded site, and it appears to be one humongous shill for overpriced woo-y products. You’ve got to be so stupid, rich and bored to sign up for that thing. Happy wallet hunting, joolia. http://campgrounded.org/blog/

  12. So Shantitown thinks motherhood is ripe for being monetized. There’s no other reason she would broadcasting this nonsense right now.

    • But motherhood has always been ripe for being monetized; otherwise the magazine industry would never exist (I say partly in affection, as I enjoy sitting down with a stack of McCall’s from the 50’s from time to time.)

      • Oh, I agree. I just think Ali herself hasn’t seen it as a source for herself before now, or we would have seen photographs of her breastfeeding third graders before now.

  13. OT: Does anyone else find it strange that if you go to Petey’s fb page; his f/list is public and Julie does not appear as a friend? I mean, she has at least three facebook pages that I can see and she and her beloved dadsers are not fb friends?

    • Not friending the folks might be how Julie gets away with all the fuckery she regularly posts and has thus far avoided a full-blown intervention..

  14. “I’ve been called deeper into motherhood.”
    By CPS no doubt. Apologies if already mentioned.

    • Deeper into motherhood…preparing your kids for school and driving them there. Wow. That is some deep diving. Can we give Ali a seal clap and a mother of the year sticker for such maternal sacrifice?

    • Transbraytion:

      For years, I have neglected my kids.

      I feel a little guilty about it so, for a week or two, I am going to behave like a normal mother and document this “change” with several facebook postings.

      • this this this

        kids woke up today. kids went to the grocery store and stole breakfast today. etc.

        related: the woos are boring and gross, mad men is over, and i have a stack of work things to read. need new hobbies.

      • Please acknowledge the audible “Gawwwwwww” and the Birkenstock stomp when her Ex told her he couldn’t drive them to school…before the deeper calling into motherhood.

        And isn’t the school year pretty much over with in Colorado? Wow, a two-week deep commitment. Stay the course, Blessed One.

    • Here’s one thing I don’t get about the US:
      You guys remember the case of parents who got investigated and censured by the authorities because they, OMG I can’t believe it, “neglected” their kids by letting them walk home from school all by themselves, right?

      Now we have Ali’s kids who seem close to feral based at times and what happens? Nothing.

      I’m not saying she should lose her children or anything like that, I just find it weird. Then again, a family that propagates extreme patriarchy and covers up sibling-molestation has been raking in reality TV FU money AND being presented as a model for the rest of us, so never mind.

  15. Serious question – how is driving a Winnebago cross-country ecologically friendly? Shouldn’t they hitchhike or strap themselves to migrating condors or something?

  16. She wasn’t breast feeding her kids at 5 years old. She was letting her kindergarteners suck on her boobs. She was a pacifier and it brought them comfort. She didn’t have any milk left. Yes there were still drops. But that’s not FEEDING. I’m not judging her. To each his own. But call it what it is. I just finished nursing my 3+ year old this week (at least I think we are done)… it wasn’t for sustenance anymore, believe me. So I can only imagine what was happening at 5 years old.

    • Yes, so true, because at 5 kids have a regular varied diet, not so wildly different from adults’ — mostly delivered via mastication. (Strangely my kindle’s auto-correct thought I meant to say masturbation, which is funny because, as someone pointed out above, breastfeeding is creepily sexual for Skankatron. She totally gets off on her image of herself as nursing earth-mama. She probably has pictures. With coat ghouls in the background.)

  17. How can someone write this dreck with a straight face? “Today I gave my kids a ride to school (Waldorf) and *I* felt more alive and *I* felt like I was fulfilling my mommy duties and *I* didn’t even *have* to do it!”

    “See this picture of a model breastfeeding? No, it isn’t me silly, but it can be you if you follow my plan for financial independence! This brings me to another topic. Sucking on my tits. It really makes me feel special! It’s nice to know that someone might die unless they do it. That’s why I let my kids do it way past an appropriate age. I’m warping them into dependency on me so that every time I need to feel special I can just do little things, like give them a ride (instead of walking a few miles) to school and ooooooo I can ride that goodwill all the way to the bank.”

    “Oh, and let me slip in a teeny little ad about my scam, err product, err, pdf file into this little entry about how wonderful motherhood is.”

    • Always laying the groundwork for her latest scam. As such, I wonder if Lotus Sattva, Ali’s alleged RV companion, is even a real person and not a bot. Her response to Ali’s mother of the year post:

      “Sharing my vulnerability used to feel like the biggest risk revealing my weakness but now I know it is the key to my strength and the only way to alchemize risk into growth and security!”

      The only thing missing is a link to the money map.

      • Ali Shanti’s Hot Boob Review Coming to an RV Near You™

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