Women’s Fall Fashions: DJ Commode for JC Penney

You’ll look stunning in this poncho crafted from the genuine hair of Boulder yaks, with matching gold & black scarf that screams “matronly.”

fashion back

Sorry for the fuzzy fauxto below of celebrated polymath Michael Austin Jacobs, better known as DJ Commode. Ali Shanti, our official “goddess” fauxtographer, drank her fifth cup of Aya before snapping.

fashion front

Be sure to accessorize with transformative Jedi JewelryTM!

fashion jelery

41 COMMENTS

  1. Nothing says classy like using a cheap-ass bic cigarette lighter to show scale of jewellery
    .

    • Most people would use a coin to show size, but SK-3000 put ALL the cash in a trust and nobody can touch it.

    • Did you consider that maybe he’s selling the lighter and is using the jewelry for scale? A-hmmmmmmm?

    • A lighter with telltale signs its bottom has been used to tamp down burning “tobacco” inside a pipe bowl or bong…

      • I am actually literally wall-eyed and nope, still blurry.

        it might explain some of my OWN fashion choices though.

  2. I admit to liking some of Fozzie’s ripped off jewelry from some poor in Mexico who is living in a ditch. But the idea of putting it next to a Bic lighter has me giggling my ass off.

    • I know, so funny. Done for purposes of scale, but really, that’s such a stoner’s choice. Could have been a half eaten boloney sandwich for all the Ayoo-whatever he’s smoked.

      • Why didn’t he place a ruler side & top, + assign a number to each piece? There’s nothing helpful for a potential buyer to identify a choice w/ other than ‘3rd from left’ or whatever … how’s that going to help, if / when he’s sold a piece & the order changes? Dummy.

  3. for someone who’s some great curator of art, 99% of the time he shows the EXACT same style over and over. How much demand can there really be for the same tree on a dark stone? And he shows them in groups, like each one is some piece of art and so unique! and i also hate that he doesn’t even make them, he’s just a reseller.

    • Yup. A quick search of ‘tree of life necklaces’ on etsy makes me wonder how he could possibly make any money at this. There is a wide variety on there, some of them similar with the stone in the background, but look like much better quality, and are handmade by the same people who are selling them– for a fraction of the price he is charging.

      • If he charges a million bucks per he only needs to sell one to make PROFIT!!! beyond his wildest dreams!!!!

        Because that’s what spirituality is for, manifesting a rich dumbass.

      • The crystals he uses are special. Perhaps they’ve been dipped in Ali’s yoni?

  4. He’s not wearing underwear under that poncho because he respects the tradition of the Scotch men not wearing underwear under their kilts.

    • The fold of the boiled wool poncho looked momentarily like his upper thigh to me, and I was thinking that he was neckid under it. There is nothing, NOTHING, appealing about that kid without his panties on.

      The spot he is standing on is where every bride in Boulder goes to have her wedding pictures taken, so I thought he was maybe there to expose himself to newlyweds.

      I will excuse myself now.

  5. Fozzie’s parents came to visit, so he took them to a head shop. Keepin’ it klassy.

    • And he found their discomfort hilariously funny. Wonder how the commode would feel if the ‘rents stopped funding his louche lifestyle.

  6. God god, did you see Shanti’s post on how they’re all going travelling in an RV? This is what her kids are doing this summer, I guess.

  7. Ali Shanti breastfed her children until they were 5 years old.

    NAAAAAAACHHHHHHHOOOOOS! Take me away!

    • Being male I never understood what makes the titty spigot turn off. How come some people can churn butter for five years and others can’t?

      • As long as they suckle it stimulates milk production. When they stop, it dries up.

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