Shoot Dancin’ Donkey: No Pay but One Helluva Resume Builder!

ohno

Looking for a talented videographer to shoot this Friday night at 1015 Folsom! Are you one? Let me know!

The more things change stay the same, the more things stay the same.  Any SF cat peep with a camcorder willing to take one for the team and spend Friday night in a seething cauldron of smelly faux hippies?

coobie cunt

149 COMMENTS

  1. I am truly mortified for her parents and hope hazard pay is part of deal for the videographer. Oh I made myself laugh-pay.

  2. I would love to do this, however, I don’t live there and, I’ll be busy honoring my baby on that evening. You should all go honor your babies. Why aren’t you honoring your babies, dammit?

    I don’t have a baby. Honoring my baby is the new massive download. I will be honoring my massive download if I’m lucky enough to have one. Which I think will be infinitely more fun than watching Blobby Baugher dancing at a DJ Avocado show.

      • You got me but, Julia Allison knows. She posted a screed so, she must be the expert in recognizing people who don’t just love and feed their babies, but honor them. It probably means their parents let them throw food everywhere and change their own diapers so as not to stifle their independent spirits. Hey, man, I’m not going to dictate to my baby how/when they should change their diaper. I let them resonat

        • …resonate on it, check with Source and decide for themselves their own paths with their diapers so they can create a lovership with that experience.

      • I believe I explained this to you people before.

        You honor a baby by placing it up on a high shelf and dusting it occasionally.

  3. Ill go but it sounds like julaah already has plans to tape record it. Anyone want to donate for the cover charge? Or get me on the guest list?

    • I would front some $. I’m still upset we never got footage from the self-wedding.

      • But Kraken, how can you put a price on this?

        [Kalya Scintilla & Eve Olution] This incredible duo sets the stage for an intentional future ancient ritual with mythic expression to create a kinesthetic tapestry to scintillate your being awake. World fusion beats manifest into visceral living archetypes that come to life before you, the pulsing vibrations cascade infinite ripples of geometric harmonies throughout the dance floor, and together we are danced into the nectar of celebrating life. In the sacred union of both orgasmic musical frequencies of crystalline sound architecture and full embodied evocative evocational performance, Kalya Scintilla & Eve Olution invite your soul into an alchemical experience of divine art devoted to the heart.

          • english to turkish to japanese to english, via google translate

            repeat as many times as you wish in as many languages; it’s not really any different

            This amazing duo scintillation in order to create a tapestry kinesthetic, we have intentionally happened to be prepared for expression and the future of the ancient ritual of legend. World Fusion will dance to live and living life honey viscera archetype of harmony and dance festival of which the geometric infinite cascade change of vibration to reveal the pulsation and late along to your tracks before. Architecture, with two of orgasm frequency crystal clear sound, music performance full stimulate exciting sacred union, and embodied in Eve CHINA solution center of Kalya Scintilla

          • to dutch to esperanto to english

            This amazing dueto scintillation to create a carpet kinesthetic, ni have deliberately done to be prepared for expression eo the future of the Old Legend rituals. World Fusion will dance to live eo living life honey guts Arketipo Harmony eo dance festival whose geometrical infinite akvofalo change from vibration to reveal the pulsation eo let along to your aŭtoveturejoj for. architecture, renkontis Two of orgasm frequency crystal clear sound, full of music stimulate exciting saint Union eo embodied and Eva ĈINIO solution center Kalya Scintilla

        • I read that second name as Evil Lotion. As in, “it rubs the lotion on the skin.”

          #BuffaloBillHippie

    • If you are down to pledge money, email the amount you can donate to kraken@fea.st along with your rbd username. If I provide footage then ill send you a paypal to send the money to. Fair enough?

      • While I agree that the ticket price is objectionable on principle (these people are fucking fools and deserve zero dollars), I would like to see footage of / reporting on the strokeshow, and I doubt that Jules will get any takers on her request for free videography. So, I’ll front half the cost of admission ($20) and email you to confirm. That $ amount represents my personal interest in seeing this shit on RBD, not the actual value of watching these clowns perform.

        I think with that you are within about $10 of the price of admission — any other takers?

      • So, not being entirely sure if you’re committed to going to see the pulsing vibrations cascade infinite ripples of geometric harmonies throughout the dance floor, I sent my pledge to Jacy, since [1] she is already in my paypal hx & it won’t confuse me later on my stmt, & [2] it can stay in the RBD general fund, should you decide not to go after all (puhhleeeeeeze go!) — apologies in advance to Jacy if I am causing you headaches; I took took a leap of faith that it won’t be a problem. Wish I could do more, but all my chump change for this month & next went to Heifers Internatl for Nepal’s earthquake victims.

        • We are doing a Change for Change drive at school to try and buy a goat for HI. It’s the final quarter, though, so most of our kids have either graduated or stopped coming, so it isn’t going very well.

          • I love HI. Implore FB friends to chip in a little bit to help your kids reach their goal. I would, but I have no shame when it comes to that stuff.

  4. I know what this means for US! (us! us! UUUUUUUUS!!!) : a video of a quote “dancing” unquote Donkey will be posted to Vimeo in the next few days.

    I just ordered a bushel of popcorn winky emoticon

    Catladies, rejoice!

    • She doesn’t believe she exists unless she can see herself on a 4-inch screen.

    • Because, unlike the other eleventy billion times, this time the amazing talents of Julia Allison will become evident to the world and she will be hired to co-create art and perform for a 7-figure salary and her own private plane and a small but highly qualified coterie of assistants.

      • How long has she known she was “wide-stancing with the stars?”
        Bet someone told her she’d have to get her own video that they won’t cut one down for her (not that she’s the talent-a point she really embarrassingly keeps missing-this is a pity plotz not art)

    • First in the JuliaAllison sense I mean.

      I said it. It must be true.

      • And if someone questions your firstness, just say “And why are you obsessed with the order of the comments?”, just like Julia would.

      • Donks is always way behind on everything, so you’ve pretty much nailed your firstness. THIS is success.

        • I FEEL extremely successful. I might propose to myself.

      • Okay, so I guess I can say, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Light.” I mean — why not, right?

        Although paradigm shifter also sounds cool.

  5. That photo of her quote “dancing” unquote makes me laugh. It’s like…clear the decks!!!

    • It cracks me up too. It looks like she could almost launch into a straight up cabbage patch move and this really entertains me to no end.

      • To me, it looks like reenactment of a commission of crime where prosecution is explaining how a victim got defensive wounds on her front legs forearms.

        Come to think of it, D0nk’s “dancing” is the criminal act …

    • So the ginormous ring is funny, and the crazy skirt is even funnier, but, my god, the unhinged, super serious, look on her face just takes the cake.

      • JFAing to say that her face knows that she is a serious dansah and must be treated with the utmost respect for her drug induced gyrations.

          • It looks like she wrapped an apron from some kind of weird fast food uniform (Orange Julius? Der Weinerschnitzel?) around herself and called it a day.

      • Trytoohardface. See also furrowed brow, looking down and hard swallowing during video interviews.

    • How thoughtful of Tobin to chop out the Queen of Side Eye in the right margin. Her face really said it all.

  6. You guys! Go to http://www.how-old.net and put “Julia Allison Burning Man” in the little bing searchbar. It detects her age. Most say 35/36 year old woman, one said 17 and one said 60 year old man. So fun!

    • She is not comfortable in her own skin.

      All those contorted poses (the skirt pull, the wide stance, the side look, the neck thrust etc) ruin the whole thing.

      Let’s say, when someone takes a picture you could slightly tilt your head in a certain way that you know makes you look good, but when you do too much of that, you become a fake, contrived, cringeworthy burro.

      Same with make up: a little bit is fine, but drag-queen levels of makeup do not look good unless you are a drag queen and you are performing.

    • By forgetting to de-emphasize her nozzles as she contorts for the camera.
      o^O

  7. I don’t think I ever noticed this before – you’d think most dirty gyrating hippies would opt for bare feet, all the better to feel ~connected to nature~. But La Burra, the Margot Fonteyn of our generation (or the Margot Fonteyn of a generation), has genuine flat ballet shoes on, like she’s in the goddamn NYCB corps. Jesus, I’m cringing.

    WILL SHE NEVER SHOE HER HOOVES APPROPRIATELY???

    • That looks fun! I hope the fishes, etc., take to them as a habitat.

      The sculptor did a good job with the ears, which a lot of people don’t get right.

  8. So what’s Ali Skanky got going on?

    “So many decisions to make in this very moment in time that impact quite a number of lives. Please send prayers for clarity and vision and awareness my way. And, if there has been something you have had the urge to tell me, but you have been holding back in any way, now is the moment. It’s time to speak it. Here or privately. Thank you.”

    • Are we taking guesses?

      Hmmmmm…
      Leaving her kids to go on tour with the One-Man Fozzie Band™?

    • Rinse and Repeat exercise. She’ll come away from this with her usual “I’ve emerged from this clearer than ever and am convinced this is my direction NOT the other direction.”

      She has a crisis of confidence about her businesses every two weeks. It must be heaven for the investors and clients (whoever the F they are).

    • Per her latest email spam, she is investing $25K up front and $10K per month thereafter “for a company to build out and manage the entire marketing funnel that will lead more people deeper into my work.” It is very TL;DR. She spends hundreds of words freaking out about how she could lose all her money, her business could fail, she is SCARED, yo!

      About 1,000 words in, she says: “And, I am not even entirely sure where the money is going to come from for this investment. Sure, the company brings in $135,000-$150,000 every month, but we use it all to pay our existing team and expenses.” HAHAHAhahahahaha

      Rest assured, y’all! Ol’ bath towel curtains Scammy is still running a nearly $2 million / year operation!

      • What the fuck is that? “build out and manage the entire marketing funnel” What the fuck IS that? Does it even mean anything at all?

      • She and Julia are a match made in heaven. What type of an idiot sends that crap out to people about a supposed “business”.

        I have to add, a while back I listened to one of skanky’s videos. OH MY! Her voice does NOT match her appearance. She sounds like a teenage Valley Girl. I imagine people who’ve known her for years upon years have seen about 70 variations of her.

        • We must have had an impact on the old raunch because those e-mails have at least stopped chronicling the sick mess that is her personal life. Sure, they still go on & on &on and she sounds like a Freudian hysteric but no more snaps of her dildo table.

    • Wooglish is such a complicated language: most of the time I can’t understand what she is talking about or what she is saying about it.

      After that she posted more wooglish, promoting some kind of event with Nisha’s Noodles which, again, I can’t figure what it is about.

      I think that first post was just trying you to pay some $$$ to attend NN’s thing, which she is going to attend to get the clarity she was so desperately looking for.

      Nothing to see here. SK-3000 just being SK-3000. Moving along, please.

  9. I will be very happy when a new post goes up, because yesterday I noticed her erect nipple in the shiny red top, and now it is all I can see.

    • She could have used the pepperoni pasties under her top. But then the ecstatic nature of her dance would not have been evident to her adoring audience.

  10. Oh, the horror!! I have it on good authorities that Avocado and The Donkey Horror Dance Show don’t go on until this coming AM–as in 3 AM!!! This is beyond distressing, indeed, I’m having Phantom Canklehausen syndrome, because how in the hell am I expected to stay up four more hours? And the $40? I am so torn, just sad. Should I nap?

    • D0n’t nap or you want to get up — she’ll be all kinds of effed up by then — think how good of a video that’ll be.

    • Go around midnight, find a quiet corner and wait patiently until the Avocadonkey show begins.

  11. Good grief…the NY Times ran a story on how the NYC creative class is moving to LA and one of their featured “artists” is Julia Price. Photo and everything.

        • a comment that got posted, la la la la la

          “In New York, she said, she was so busy working to pay the bills that she often toiled from 5 a.m. to 10 a.m. as a production assistant for “Good Morning America,” then from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. as a cocktail waitress. Los Angeles, with its slower pace and cluster of young artists, has proved to be fertile ground for her artistic ambitions.

          I couldn’t believe how collaborative everyone out here was,” Ms. Price said. “Want to shoot a music video? Just put up a Facebook message and within hours you’ll have 15 responses from incredibly talented, passionate people who want to work for free, because they believe in you and your art.”

          is pure garbage and so cringe-worthy I’m still not over it as I type this.

    • She’s in her 20’s? What about that ludicrous leaving-SatC article she & La D0nk penned what, three-ish years ago? How many times is Flusher Price going to flee NYC for LA & write about it as if it’s a brand new adventure?

    • It looks like Lena Dunham got fuck-you money.

      A Donkey must be burning so bad.

    • “la is great because you can get people to work with you for free”

      it says that; it actually says that

        • in other news of stupid people, jordacted destroyed her nose piercing by pushing it into her brain, or something

    • Julia Price
      juliapricemusic.tumblr.com/
      My city, my home. New York City is my heart, my reminder of every push forward, every chance I took to to turn a NO into a yes

      • ANOTHER STOOPID WHITE GIRL APPROPRIATING HIP HOP AND RAP

        Julia Price–piano, vocals, and sometimes straight up gangsta rap 😉

    • I am an anti-monarchist in my soul, but I commend the Duchess of Cambridge for taking her silly, overpaid public sector job seriously. She shows up, dresses up, smiles, shakes hands, kisses babies, and makes babies without ever breaking kayfabe.

  12. Awwwwwww, Ali Skanky is feelin’ down about her “friends”….

    “What is Friendship?
    Several months ago, I was asking the question “what is love, anyway?” I felt disconnected from the true nature of love (beyond motherly love) and engaged in a deep dive inquiry around it.
    Shortly thereafter, Michael Jacobs showed up and I now have a visceral, without question knowing of love, in a way I have not quite before.
    In the safe container of his love, I find myself facing a question that has been a challenging one for me for many years …
    What is Friendship?
    Friendship has confused me since Kindergarten when I was first rejected by the girl with the blond pigtails, Kathy McGee, who I so liked and wanted to be friends with.
    This confusion carried on through my summer camp years when one year I was wholeheartedly rejected by the most popular girl in our cabin only to be “claimed” by her the following year and finally brought into the fold only to later be rejected again, without any rhyme or reason I could identify.
    And it only intensified in high school when I was outcast by the popular girls (who I had thought were my BFFs) as it started to become clear that maybe I was the “pretty one” the boys liked a little too much.
    I was always the type of girl who could immediately feel “close” to anyone within minutes of meeting and it never made sense to me that others didn’t feel that same sense of connection right away.
    I spent my early adult years experiencing profound and pervasive loneliness.
    When I became successful in business, suddenly lots of people wanted to be my friend. But I never truly trusted the relationships. Was it me they wanted to be friends with or what they thought I could or would do for them?
    I think that’s part of how the split between Alexis Neely and Ali Shanti arose in my psyche. (Will you love ALL of me?)
    As that split is now integrating (more on that another time), I find myself revisiting this question of friendship.
    Over the past 5 years, I’ve made a lot of “friends,” but I’m realizing now that my definition and understanding of friendship is not fully grown and I don’t actually know what friendship is, much in the way I didn’t really get love truly until recently.
    The term friend and friendship is thrown around a lot more loosely than I would like. I take that shit seriously. And I’ve failed to realize that there are different kind of friends.
    There are BFFs, and business friends, and acquaintance friends, and Sister-friends and other variations I haven’t quite identified yet, but feels important for me to clarify because I feel so much pain when I find out that I’ve been holding a relationship in one way that does not align with how the other has been holding that relationship.
    I have erroneously given too much of myself to those I put into the category of BFF or Sister-friend and created this false closeness that didn’t and doesn’t actually exist because I just didn’t understand these variations and how to navigate among them.
    And the more I open my heart (which is my current highest focus/priority), the more I feel the hurt of that mis-alignment and, well, ouch. Then, my heart closes in response and pulls away from everyone I’ve put in that “friend” category (because why the fuck did I let in that pain), when that’s a way over-reaction.
    My sense is that I may be able to do this whole friend thing a lot more skillfully.
    And to continue in the inquiry I’ve begun and keep asking myself — what is friendship, really?”

    • Jesus. Why the fuck does everything have to be so deep and over thought? This woman is 42? What the fuck? You’re a mom. Concentrate on that relationship. Also? Get your head out of your ass once in a while and lighten the fuck up.

      • Why does she think her friends all OWE her?

        She does need to lighten the fuck up. I’ve had friends like her – needy, whiny, life-sucking, time-wasting dramallamas, all to whom I’ve said goodbye.

      • high school slut is shocked to discover all the boys she’s fucking don’t like her

    • “as it started to become clear that maybe I was the “pretty one” the boys liked a little too much…”

      Uh, sure. Right.

      Also: “In the safe container of his love”

      • ““as it started to become clear that maybe I was the “pretty one” the boys liked a little too much…”

        =

        “I quickly figured out I could fuck guys to get what I wanted.”

    • Repeat after me:
      Love is not a container.
      Love is not a container.
      Love is not a container.
      Love is not a container.
      Love is not a container.
      Love is not a container.

      Can’t she just simplify her life by doing shit normal people do? Like, instead of all this meaningless navel gazing, why not go out and do some fucking yard work. Or go to the grocery store. Or bake some fucking cookies for your kids.

      Friends? They’re the ones who show up with margarita mix and tequila. The End.

      YOUR FRIENDS DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING, ALI.

      Jesus. Why she makes everything so complicated, I know not.

  13. “I’m realizing now that my definition and understanding of friendship is not fully grown and I don’t actually know what friendship is, much in the way I didn’t really get love truly I til recently.”

    Meaning: Just as I’ve now dissed all the men I’ve been involved with before Fozzie came along. I’ll now diss all the other so-called friends who have not yet invested money in my businesses.

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