Congratulations, Danish Mary!

danish mary

Krystal Kahler, better known as “Danish Mary,” who replaced Mary Rambin for a New York minute on the shitshow known as Non-Society, is getting married (not to herself). A bachelorette party was thrown in anticipation of every girl’s most speshul day, and none other than another former Allison sister, Meghan “Pointy” Asha, was in attendance. A good time was had by all, but we respect Krystal’s privacy and so no photos here.

Who wasn’t invited? Julia Allison, of course. Pointy never would have shown up had the sister who betrayed her to Gawker been in attendance.  Not to worry, Krystal cut Donkey out of her life long ago.  Plus, wannabe woo grifter Julia has to spend every waking minute practicing for her debut with the Ballet Felch, AKA Avocado’s Inhuman Experience.

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89 COMMENTS

    • Which one? Tit thrust or blow job doll dancer? They are both so wonderful.

      • Every time I see this photo I’m immediately drawn to that woo chick in the background. I imagine the “bitch, please” followed by several eye-rolls and the occasional side-eye. What a sweet gif that would make.

    • Julia does!!! My parents would 5150 me just for that, let alone her other ten million questionable choices.

    • The real question is, who gets married to themselves and then immediately continues stalking her latest avocado? This is success!

  1. Julie wants to learn NLP so she can be more effective in bullying people into including her.

    Mazel tov to Krystal!

  2. “Not to worry, Krystal cut Donkey out of her life long ago.” That thread must burn the donkey haunches. Does she told Randi responsible for MA failing- (not able to get the big fake numbers to support the show via FB)-the show failing had nothing to do with the donkey.

    • I imagine her thought is “My friends will never believe this when I tell them about it.”

      OR

      “OMG. You can’t buy tickets to this shit show”

      • I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find ten pounds of Crisco and a sledgehammer at this time of night?

  3. But Donkey doesn’t care, she is in love.

    Haven’t you seen her latest facebook posting?

    58 people with names like Pen’dkngsetiapersIja Jakarte liked it!

    • We received a second tipster e-mail today and might have a lead on that love, but I have to go out to dinner with my family. I’ll get to the intel as soon as I am able.

    • Julia’s in love? Wow, just when you walk through the shadow of the hell of the valley, you arrive and know that this, THIS is love, love that is more valid and more magical than people with jobs and/or your own parents could ever really understand.

  4. Maybe Donkey can pack up her Happiness RV with DJ Underpants and she can drive to all these weddings she’ll never be apart of of AND SHE CAN DANCE FOR THEM!

    And then Annie Lala can dispense marriage advice while Mesh Shirt leads the reception with How To Spank Your Way Through Marriage & Jena LaFlamme can’t pop out of a cake & teach women how not to get fat on their husbands. And Ali Shanti can steal all the gifts while this is going on, and list them on eBay for gas & Lodging money.

    • Maybe Donkey can pack up her Happiness RV with DJ Underpants and she can drive to all these weddings she’ll never be apart of of AND SHE CAN DANCE FOR THEM!

      The RV they shared.

    • Ha ha ha!

      All this sounds very likely, but Dr Trallallala would charge $997 for the advice (cash only, please).

  5. OMG, Donkey is more erect than Michael Ellsberg in a spanking video, in this pic. Looks like she’s smuggling an eggplant under that skirt! Cannot unsee.

  6. btw – i just listened to that trash dj on her page from min 44 until pretty close to minute 46, and I am fairly certain I never heard anything resembling “happy birthday”. A lot of shitty computer-music, but that’s all. Am I missing it, or did she blatantly lie about that?

  7. I kind of miss the NonSociety days, they were so pure in their wretchedness. Remember Megan thinking she was a techie because she owned Guitar Hero?

    • I have an iPhone, therefore I am a tech expert! I taught myself HTML in high school, therefore I am a woman in tech!

      This level of stupid never gets old for me.

    • The holy grail is still for one of us to obtain the Bravo demo tape for NonSociety. It’s more valuable than the book (least of all because it exists) IMHO. Get on that Gilly! Investigative journalism at its finest.

      • Or ITgirls, or whatever that shit show was to be called. Was it ITgirls staring NonSociety? Or was NonSociety their attempt to rebrand after the show failed to get approval? I can’t, or don’t care enough to, remember.

        • I believe NonBusiness was what they were using to pose as flounders (not a typo) for their reality show. Better than the tape is the notes from the focus group. I haven’t seen them, but those who have say they are hilarious.

      • Someone emailed me once saying they would get it for us. Said JA was aggressively unlikeable. Just completely awful. And then I never heard from that person again and when I emailed later, it bounced back.

        • It’s amazing how many times she’s been told that. Didn’t she also hear this when she was auditioning for some hosting job and got the feedback from the producers?

          • Also, remember when she claimed that one of those fashion shows, maybe What Not to Wear, was interested? but that strangely came to naught? Which if it was such a show, it must have been her vile personality that cratered the deal* because Donks is the poster child for what not to wear.

            * No, it was a Draconian contract, thankyouverymuch.

          • Re: What’s Not to Wear—Remember when she posed in all those stupid “first date” outfits and people critiqued them? That was hilarious. She has no fashion sense, especially when it comes to disguising her biggest body flaws: the raft ass and the short bowlegs.

        • It’s pretty insane to be too unlikeable for a Bravo reality show. I’m relieved that Vanderpump Rules and RHOBH are wrapping up soon, because I’m becoming fatigued with how awful all of them are.

    • She wasn’t invited last time either; she horned in on someone else’s thing. Don’t count her out! Those wallets won’t hunt themselves.

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