Win A Free Castoff Pink Unicorn Onesie From Spokesmodel Julia Allison!


julia restard

Forget Yandy & Coobie! Julia Allison is shilling for the big leagues now:

I love my new pink Unicorn onesie from Kigurumi Shop!!! There isn’t a party – or an evening – that an adorable onesie doesn’t improve.

If anyone is DYING for a pink unicorn onesie … I happen to have an extra one!!! Let me know why it would make your day/week/month/year!

Amazingly, 20 fans in the ‘stans gave Julie a big thumbs up within a few minutes of this PAID ad going up on Facebook.  As for Kigurumi Shop, it’s a cut rate mail order company out of Los Angeles selling cheap costumes to children and emotionally crippled adults.



Would resembling a unicorn improve your quality of life? Let Julie know how and when you became a furry. If you win, our burro will also send along a cute note!

julia retard note


  1. Wasn’t Max adept at typewriter poetry? I lose track of the names of the supporting cast but the guy that did that sad interview with her at the “summit” had a whole site devoted to it.

    Also, I gotta hand it to Shanti Town. For all her woo and nonsense, she does get responses to from people and interaction in her FB timeline. All Mullia generates is silent likes from paid stans. Remember when she fancied herself an expert in “creating your own brand through social media”? Turns out she is. She’s a perfect example of why buying these stans is a terrible idea.

    • You’re confusing Millennial Max with Chris Tarello, Ontraport shill who may still have his tongue glued to Julia Allison’s bunghole.

      We’re in total agreement re: Shantitown. She responds to every comment/question re: her FB posts and does a marvelous job eliciting discussion. I actually commented once and somewhat sarcastically, and Shanti responded quickly and quite pleasantly.

  2. Dear Julia,

    There is nothing I would like better in the world than a used, sad, ugly pink romper with a cheap pinched mouth unicorn head atop it. I would use it to signal the world that, despite my complete and public failure at life, I am still a fun gal, while fully realizing that the crappy polyester costume conveys the opposite message.

    Hopefully yours,
    Morrocanwear With Antlers

  3. My autocorrect turned pinched mouth to punched mouth which would also have been correct because…homeless man.

  4. As long as she wears a Coobie bra (The #1 bra in Istanbul!) underneath, I have no issues.

  5. Please don’t hate me but dare I say she looks good in that photo? The pink unicorn onesie aside, she doesn’t have on any or a lot of makeup and looks good. Too bad she’s still a moron.

    • As of lately, she sometimes avoids the spackle make-up by the pound that she used to apply to her face EVERY FREAKING TIME.

      That is a step in the right direction, now if she could only change what goes on inside her head, we’d be all set.

      • I personally think Julia is a very pretty woman, when she’s not posing, shilling, or being her regular ridonkulous self. Her smile in this otherwise-ridiculous photo is stunning. It’s really too bad she’s such a cunty self-centered gold-digger. With horrible taste in clothes and a weird attachment to costumes.

          • Not me, sorry. :-/ I’m pretty sure I’ve only said she was attractive before nose job #2 & the restylane/botox abominations.

            I’ve also said there’s nothing wrong with pear-shapes whatsoever, but that’s more of a general comment and not specific to our Donkey.

  6. Gotta say other than the juvenile unicorn costume, this is a nice shot of her without looking all fake-posed. Is that a cross I spy around her neck?

  7. Gotta to get caught up on past posts/comments, but have these been posted?

    Before dancing at The Human Experience – David Block’s show in Berkeley this Friday night … with my favorite ritual dancer, Miss Caeli La.
    — with Caeli La.

    • The 2nd one freaks me out a little bit, cuz her body is so malformed — each thigh is as big around as her torso, & her torso appears to be no longer than her thighs, +, blanketing any part of those stunted sequoias in glaring white, especially huge calf implants, is just a fashion travesty.

      About those high top tennies — did she steal those from Durrrpin or Davidiot?

    • I kind of like that red dress. I think it would help cement my reputation as the local loon.

    • For alleged hippies, these people show a disturbing affinity to polyester and other flammable fabrics. Whatever happened to hemp dresses and the likes?
      And do they know that they look like suburban housewives who have enrolled in the exotic dancing/home striptease class, run by Tiffany at the community centre to spice up their love lives? Tho enlightened.

      • Who, D0nk or the one whose zipper is gaping?
        Made me wonder if Bear is marrying his baby mama …

    • I try not to get too freaked out about her costumes, because life is short, but WHAT ARE THOSE SHOES. I don’t want to ever see them again as long as I live.

  8. “There isn’t a party – or an evening – that an adorable onesie doesn’t improve.”

    The Met Gala springs to mind.

    • I’m inclined to let her slide on that one, considering that her sole purpose in life these days is to play dress-up as a stumbling toddler — cover those greasy pelts!

    • Had Marc Jacobs slipped one on over his see-through lace suit, boxers and pilgrim shoes back in 2012, my own personal experience of it would have indeed been improved.

      Wearing an outfit that suggests you have made it out your own body hair does nothing for the passed hor d’ourves.

      • I actually like it when someone gives me handy visual cues that they must be an UTTER FUCKING SOCIOPATH before I get anywhere near them. Saves time.

  9. PET PEEVE: ’til vs. till

    I know, I know … the latter has come to be acceptable in place of the former, but it still grates my last freaking nerve.

    I will judge you by your use of Till, dumbass D0nkass.

  10. Translation: “I have two unicorn onsies. Avacado loved himself thoroughly in one. Free to a good home!”

  11. Does she know she’s hitched her wagon to the otaku train? There’s some cons where she could wear that and be thoroughly accepted. Thoroughly. Maybe a little too…

    Her face looks pretty good there, if a mite sweaty.

  12. Real talk: I own two and after wearing mine for Halloween my friends want their own.

    Of course, no one would ever deny that I am emotionally crippled.

    Still: No fucks on this truck.

    Still more: This is NOT what success looks like.

  13. like i said on a recent post, she is retreating into childhood full-stop. this is a woman who A) can’t hide her inner psychological state, being as deep as a piece of paper and B) is finding being an adult impossible.

    She’s incapable of maturing so when urban journo partygirl didn’t work out, she had no place to go but back. what a sad sad woman

    • Her enabling parents are to blame. When your back is to the wall and you know that you are the only thing you can count on for your own survival and personal growth, then you do what needs to be done and you grow from there.

      They have not done her any favors by subsidizing her. It’s kept her a child.

  14. She has no sense of shame. I feel embarrassed just looking at her. A grown-ass woman. What a sad sack of shit she is.

Comments are closed.