Donk Is Just Trolling Us Now

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Donk, busy getting her book written by Dec. 1, is so hard at work than she spewed out a lot of vomit about her past fame as a media star in New York. She has changed! She was so naive, so hung up on the wrong things! She simply doesn’t obey those paradigms anymore!

She should follow some of her advice in this one, however, given her continuing Avocado tag-o-rama.

Anyway, here she is reminiscing about the web series that pretty much launched this angry cat lady blog because she was just SO LOUD and SO ANNOYING and lied all.snap.the.snap.fucking.snap.time and Mary, in particular, often deftly called her out on it. By the end, the seething hatred towards Mary emanated from a Donkey, especially in one episode when she later blogged about how Mary had chosen an unflattering dress for her to wear (it might have even been the one she’s wearing here — the end was near). It soon all fell apart when Mary essentially said “fuck this” and the show ended, much to the dismay and delight of Donkey’s Type-A haters

Another interesting thing? These sisters are basically not on speaking terms. Meghan has told people she wants nothing to do with Donk because Donk is so fucked up. Funny she didn’t have that figured out six years ago. Mary did.

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Let’s not forget this one, with the made-up cranberry guacamole tale.

249 COMMENTS

    • I can’t figure out why she was even friends with Donks to begin with. It may be just me, but her thoughts re: Donk’s ridiculousness just oozes from her

      • MMBH is just another Donkey: entitled, talentless, pretentious, stupid….

        That’s why they hate each other so much, they see in the other what they dislike the most about themselves.

        • Makes sense. I don’t know much about MareMare – but from the little I’ve seen, at least she’s partially successful at what she’s trying to do, and seems to put in effort. I can believe she’s at least aware or has cooked the recipes she’s mentioned. Donk’s contribution? That shit doesn’t even sound good. She’s so obviously out of her depth – whether at this pretension level or with the woo woo grifters.

          • Mary was definitely the best of the three on camera. She even got her own NNN show for a little while after this one ended.

          • She’s definitely subtler than the Donkey, she does not have that cackling laughter at least, and she does hold a light part-time job (spinning instructor), something the Donkey is utterly incapable of.

            But if you read her blog, it’s obvious she is just shilling for anything and anybody that will pay her a couple of bucks while pretending to have fans (probably in the dozens, and that’s counting family members) and be some kind of Internet marketing expert, just like some Donkey you may have heard of.

          • Mary was also the only one in that group who was actually an entrepreneur.

          • Out of the three BFFs, Mare Mare was the only one who was any good on camera and could even occasionally be likable.

  1. So out of 120 shows Jules narrows it down to 16 for the wooos to watch!? Alll so bad, hard to pick the worst of the worst?

  2. I wasn’t here during TMI weekly but still Donks is the same old, same old. “Well, not all the time, like once a month” in response to MareMare saying she cooks for them all the time. What an ungrateful bitch. She also looked (and continues to look) like a kid playing dress up.

  3. What irks me is this. She’s claiming in her spews that she didn’t know what she was talking about. She fucking doesn’t know what she’s talking about now. Does that not occur to her?

    Protip asshole: Go ahead, figure your shit out. Shift paradigms every year. But stop taking to your pulpit, whatever it happens to be this manic cycle, to tell people you know the secret, you know best, you’ve got it all figured out, that you have the enlightenment others lack. You’re doing the same thing now that you were doing then, you’re just using woo language, obsessing over balding hippies instead of techie Ivy Leaguers, and doing drugs instead of counting sips. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.

  4. 14 (fourteen!) f-ing clips????

    Yeah, I am sure Avocado took 2 hours of his busy schedule of getting high and fucking his tiny cute girlfriend to watch them.

    What a Delusional Donkey!

  5. NonSociety Julia is my second favorite Julia. Pancakes and the home they shared will always be top pick.

  6. A brief run-on sentence ostensibly about a friend is in actuality mere prelude to bray for five paragraphs about who else, herself, followed by 15 links about who else, herself.

    You just know she rubbed one out for each & every video she watched. How fuck.

    • Also why the unnecessary detail about “my SF apartment”?

      So, ever since she got called out on the avocado stalking, she’s created a fake tumblr page to make herself look like a Coobie model, uploaded a new profile pic of herself in jean shorts, and stayed up all night looking at old videos and photos of herself. This is success!

  7. I still think that Pointy and Mare-mare were pretty charming on that show. I mean, the whole thing was ridiculous and totally unoriginal, but those two showed some poise and humor. Donks was just a disaster.

  8. Sorry I’m vomiting while I type.

    She just posted an album called “Old School Photos” or something which are all her “sexy model shots” over the years with her ages, like 23, or “27 or 28.”

    Her modelling career retrospective guys!!

    • I saw that and I thought “now she is REALLY trolling us”.

      There are like 5 pics of the infamous New York Library shoot.

      It’s in-freaking-sane!

      • I went and looked so others don’t have to…119 photos of such vomit provoking awfulness that it is hard to believe. You have seen them all before, but not all together like this.

      • I also noticed several from the infamous romper weiner, unlit cigarette session and I thought to myself, “well, they’re our memories too!”

    • One of the key ways I’ve come to recognize narcissistic personality disorder is the self-retrospective. When you can tell someone is sitting alone in their house and rather than reading a book or watching a movie or doing something normal people do, they sift back through their own records of themselves. And then… as if anyone besides them gives a flying fuck, they go one step further and decide to post it all on social media like anyone else is supposed to care what the did ten years ago. They’re so wrapped up in themselves that if they aren’t able to physically perform in front of people and are forced to sit alone without an audience, they’ll come up with a way to still make that all about how much other people are interested in them.

      • Haven’t we established that Julia suffers from histrionic personality disorder? But she certainly has this NPD symptom down!

        • I can’t imagine that she doesn’t have any disorder with “narcisstic” in the title. She spends her life staring at herself and filters all of her knowledge and communication through herself. The JIML would always turn everything I told her into a story about herself too.

      • You know disclaimer bc I have done this with old stuff I’ve written. It felt good to do it. Like important, creatively, to see where I was, remember what I wrote. But i only posted it on my own website, not social media. And I do it very rarely.

        This is all she ever ever does. She stares at her own reflection. I would’ve loved to be there at her wedding when the mirror was revealed and she acted surprised.

        • Going through your old WORK is important when you’re a writer (the key to knowing you’ve written something good is being able to read it all the way through five years later without cringing). Posting old photos with friends and family members back in the day… that’s what photos are for. To remember. Reading old journals, ditto.

          That is not what the donkey is doing.

          • Exactly! Well said. She hasn’t changed a bit except for her outfits. She is the same as she always was, so into herself and so inane. Only now she trots around in underwear. But even THAT is designed to point back to her.

    • I fucking haaaaaaaaate how she does the faux cazh, “oh 27 or 28” thing, as if her life has been so full that she can’t be bothered to remember the exact details. Bitch, you KNOW you know exactly how old you were when those photos were taken. Quit playin.

    • This is the most obvious, pathetic, desperate thing I have ever seen her do. I think. I can’t even tell anymore.

  9. I have known some pathological liars over the years, and it’s remarkable how smoothly they lie. They clearly have developed great lying chops through practice and dedication.

    But Jaba is another story. When she says she cooked for her boyfriend, FOR A YEAR, does she not think ahead even eight seconds, like, “they’ll probably ask me what sorts of things I cooked, seeing how cooking is the subject at hand?” But, no. When presented with the 100% surefire response to her claim, she immediately becomes a deer n the headlights.

    Hysterical.

  10. Transbraytion:

    So this woman Julia whatever (JULIA!!!! THE MOST AMAZEBALLS NAME IN THE WORLD!!!!) who makes boring documentary movies knocked on my door last night, just as I was opening the second tub of Haagen-Daas triple-choc-choc-chip.

    She wanted 4B, where the hot fratboys that never speak to me live (I am on 4A), but we got talking and since she is a documentarian, I thought it would be great to show her some of the greatest footage the world has ever produced: the TMI videos I did a few years ago.

    I truly believe that those are iconic women-power videos, like Sex and the City but better, with tons of women-centric quirky advice like Cosmo, only MUCH BETTER.
    Julia wanted to leave but I pretended the lock on the front door was broken and I couldn’t fix it (HA HA! Girls can’t be trusted with metallic things that are not jewelry) and she had to stay.

    When the 37th clipped rolled in, she went to the bathroom and I could hear fiddling with the window lock (HA HA HA!!! That one is broken for real!!!!!).

    Anyway…. We had an AMAZEBALLS evening, she did try to reach her cellphone a couple of times, and call a friend in area code 911 (it must be one of the new area codes in LA or New York, which I HATE because people there don’t go to Burning Man) but since I am nimble yogi and ballet dancer I high-kicked it, and she laughed. Or cried. Or both, but mostly laughed.

    Ahhhhh, I am so happy because I was AMAZING then, and I am EVEN MORE AMAZING now, but I want my new smelly druggie friends to know how AMAZING AND AWESOME I was back then, because they will never be successful like I was and they should LOVE ME FOR THAT, even if they like to play records and make music and shit like that.

    For my FANS, here are my top 200 public appearances, preserved in all their glory forever and ever by youtube.

    ENJOY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • *ahem* … “high-kicked it”, you say?

      Did you just ring me? You subtle minx, I see how you are! 😉

    • Alex Gibney and Rory Kennedy heard about the Non-Society clips and are flying into San Francisco to watch them with Julia this evening! Why make LAST DAYS IN VIETNAM when one could make LOOKA ME: A DONKEY TALE.

  11. Hating myself for remembering this, but wasn’t this the outfit that Mary picked out that she got nasty about? It’s the Memorial Day episode if this link doesn’t work.

    http://youtu.be/Vrf-Y1mjApw

    I always kind of liked Mary. I bought one of those ballsack purses of hers for a cat lady friend partially as a joke and she sent it with a really nice handwritten note thanking me for reading her blog and that she hoped my friend liked it. I don’t know, there was just more humanity in that one exchange I had with her than donkey has shown the entire time I’ve been watching this shitshow .

    • I also hate myself for remembering this, but I thought she was wearing glasses with the dress she hated so much. Like she wasn’t even going to make an effort since the dress was so hideous.

    • I emailed her once asking for a recommendation for a clutch with a wrist strap (idk, she was pulling off some decent fashion recommendation-style blogging at the time and it was a weird year) and she mailed me one of her purses gratis with, yes, a little handwritten note. She might have her moments, but that won me over.

      • Those handwritten notes were probably penned by a Chinese slave she keeps chained to the pipes in the basement.

          • Oh yes. I’m from southern poverty, and I handwrite notes in a religious way. I can’t imagine how self important I’d feel if I came from wealth.

          • She sent me some hair product once as part of a giveaway. Then she bitched on her blog that none of the people who won the giveaway wrote back to thank her. Kinda soured the niceness of sending the free hair crap in the first place.

    • LOL this is hilarious. I wish I could post on a bitch’s FB page with this video. “Everyone should dress up more for Memorial Day!” “I love when men wear polo shirts and whale pants and boat shoes!” I’m sure the woo types would agree!

  12. Kinda on Julia’s side re: dresses on this episode. Meghan is wearing a tablecloth; Mary is wearing a tablecloth pulled to one side. Julia’s dress doesn’t intrigue me, but it looks normal compared to the two picnic blankets.

    This was during Mary’s “Wear a scarf as a shirt” days.

    • If I recall correctly, she was pissed that Mary got to wear the pink dress. Because didn’t Mary KNOW that pink and girly was the Julia BRAND?!!!!

  13. “Erstwhile co-founders,” huh? Yeah, no, SAT-word Donkey. They co-founded TMI Weakly, and even though that, and the friendship, ended with a whimper not a bang, they remain co-founders. Maybe you meant to say erstwhile chums or sisters or friends?

    • Also a “glibber” SATC? Nope. You got “stupifying” right, though (meaning if not spelling.) You are indeed stupid.

    • They didn’t even found tmi weekly. Only non-society. She is ALWAYS lying. She doesn’t even own the videos.

  14. and now, lets move on from that latest post about me, and turn our attention instead to me. here is a shit ton of old videos and pics of me, brought to you exclusively by me. stay tuned, because when I wake up at the crack of mid-afternoon, I will bring you a compelling post, this time about me.

    • Contrary to popular belief, Julia Allison has discovered the secret to happiness is that you should focus exclusively on yourself at all fucking times, and not think about, ew, other people. Looks like it’s working out well.

      • It’s a revolutionary new approach, at least. Buck the trend of the umptillion other happiness books and magazines and shows and courses and podcasts and go full narcissist. Photo shoots for everyone!

  15. God this bitch. She was such a lazy, dumb, entitled brat to work with. Way to thank the people at NNN who were tasked with putting your lame show together. She didnt even name her former sisters. It’s all about her, her, her.

    She once clomped in an hour late for a shoot, asked a random IT guy to go buy her a Starbucks coffee, and then called herself “the talent” when he was like, “what? who are you?”

    So odd how none of her former co-creators or NNN people like her status.

    • Wow-she lied directly to IT guy’s face calling herself “talent” without any shame remorse or guilt. All-about-the-image-Julia is still pathologically spinning and when necessary re-spinning her past.
      I hope you at least got hazard pay for working with the donkey in the wild.

      • She used to refer to herself as “the talent” quite a bit. Because she was on camera so that … made her talent?

    • I’m going to deny myself Cheetos for 12 hours for saying this, but anyone appearing on camera is colloquially known as “the talent” in industry speak. It doesn’t mean a person actually has talent, it’s just nicer than saying “the speaking meat puppet”.

      • You’re right that’s true but it being true makes it even crazier — most talent is not that pig ignorant

        Also, where were the Kraft services ™ or were they too low budget to have any

        • Way, way too small of an operation for craft services. This was years before the YouTube acquisition.

          Almost everyone at the company could have been considered the talent. People who starred in videos also handled their own writing, production and sometimes advertising. Not Julia, obviously, but everyone else. Pulling that card was lame, but harmless. Just another grapefruit moment.

  16. There are scheme juices behind this. She’s positioning herself for some kind of pitch. Maybe she wants to propose a new cable-type show, only this time with woo types.

    • I did wonder how she would have 500 bras to give out. Then I realized no one is going to enter, so she would never have to make good. Not like she ever did before on, say, $500 Armani gift cards, AMIRITE? 15k fake followers and 500 fake winners to receive 300 fake car wash bras! NAMTASTE!

      • And, don’t forget the Target gift card(s?) giveaway tied to the Tressemme Dry Shampoo stint that she was supposed to have given away, shortly before she bought shitloads at Target for her Marina yel Bray apt.

        Shady as fuck.

    • I would be pissed if a client did this and bought a bunch of fake ass Fans in the stans because it could throw off KPI and just make a muck of analytics data with bunch of inconsequential noise. Especially if someone else bought them for me without telling me, that shit is hars to undo.

    • Jesus Christ.. Likes are up 14,000% in the past week, most originating from Istanbul, Turkey (cuz right now I’m sure cheap bras from a US company are really high on Turkey’s list of priorities this week..).

      No. Not fake at all.

    • I am serious, and this is not poking the donkey…someone should let the company know about this. I would definitely want to know I’m being scammed.

      • Yes, she’s changed so much-now she’s buying fans in the stans for her fake client. Such growth. So ethical.

      • They have received thousands more likes in just the past few hours. Still showing from Istanbul. Just over 39,000 now. The likes started pouring in about the same day they changed their profile pic to Julia.

        If Jules manages (managed?) to convince them to PAID her for these thousands of fans in the stans, ugh.

        • The worst part is that this poor company is going to really believe that Julia single handedly increased their social media popularity by orders of magnitude, having no idea that she just purchased all the “likes” and followers 🙁

          • They’ll have a solid idea when no pull-through sales follow all the fake like. Fake likes don’t order real products (sadly I’ve had to point this flawed strategy out to clients before). There is no short cut to growing a sustainable business.

    • Her unethical tactics are the very reason no one should ever hire her for anything. Coobie got what they PAID for. She lacks the understanding of sales projections, quotas and clearly has absolutely no understanding that she’s not (nor has she ever been) enough of a pull on her “personality,” and why this and ever venture has and will continue to fail.
      Z-list one season on Bravo is soon not even going to pull (more like she pushed) the likes of Coobie to notice her. What’s the plan now Julia?

    • Good lord, she is gunning hard to be their “spokesmodel.” To be honest, I was a little worried it was headed in this direction. Now, though, she is taking it to comic proportions! I’m no social media expert, but fake likes can totally fuck your page and increase the cost of delivering messages to your real fans:

      http://socialvisibilityonline.com/danger-of-low-quality-facebook-fan-page-likes/

      JA is so fucking dumb. She is fucking Coobie over. Hopefully the people running social media at Coobie are a little brighter than JA. This isn’t even a neutral scam, which I maybe could respect. This is an outright stupid scam.

      • LOL. The jokey secret FB group that I run for my friends and friends-of-friends probably has more cred than Julia at this point.

      • What a bitch. Now they’re up to over 42,000 likes, with 10K of those in from Istanbul just today. Over 80% of Coobie’s likes are now fake. Good luck reaching real potential customers on fb now, Coobie.

        Between this and the copy / paste hackjob on Julia’s sweepstakes tumblr (which contains representations supposedly made by or on behalf of Coobie), she is doing a bang-up “job.”

        • The hottest bra in Istanbul is Coobie! It has EVERYTHING! Donkeys in a plastic oasis posing for a fauxtoshoot, young Turkish men clad in furry hooves, human suitcases carried by burros in tutus and a replica of the Burning Man made of doner kebabs!

  17. Julia Allison has NOT changed she’s just unemployable now. Not sure how she ever was though.

  18. She was up until 3 a.m. posting this drivel, which apparently is going to continue because everybody needs to see more fauxtos of her back in the day. Here’s what gets me: I’ve been in several BBC documentaries, in shows on MTV and NBC, and I’ve never posted about these appearances, nor shown clips to anyone other than my parents. And this raging narcissist just posted 14 fucking clips of that crappy taxicab fodder? Even better, no one commented! Not a single friend and the relatively few likes appear to be from fans in the ‘stans! Pathetisad and a good example of what folks think of Donkey. Everyone has her number.

    • Actually I think I would enjoy watching YOUR clips. I LIKE looking through the photos and vids and facebooks and blogs etc. of people who are INTERESTING. (No one needs to send me clips of themselves singing “Hallelujah” into the Webcam, while wearing their coobie and flexing their clavicle — ‘s ok).

      The only interesting thing about Donkey is the commentary on her antics via this blog. RBD may ultimately be what she is remembered for. And maybe that’s ok with her? At some level she clearly likes it.

  19. Embarrassed to say I looked through the entire “old school photo shoots” album. The love sculpture and the pigtails-star earrings-tutu photo shoots are straight up deranged.

  20. Can’t wait for her next lifestyle change. I’m putting money that in her tear filled retrospective of Woo Julia in about 3 years time she’ll blame her behaviour now on being taken in by con artists and drugs.

    Still got my money on it being Megachurch Julia. Joel Osteen wants YOU!

    • I would be so down for Megachurch Julia. The big hair and thanking Jesus in every other sentence, it would be very!

    • It’s going to be “I adopted a pity baby or stuck a pin into a dude’s condom and got knocked up” Mommy Julia, and it will be even worse than this. She has no rock bottom. Brace yourselves.

    • I’ve been thinking a lot about what her next identity is going to be, and I’m convinced that she’s going to record an auto tuned single/album like a lot of Bravo stars have done. I think she’s going to try to be a really bizarre new age pop singer who has Disney songs as her main inspiration.

    • Do you think momsers and Petey sit around wondering the same thing? Taking bets on what her next scheme is going go be, next persona.

    • Yep!

      I think she is cult material: not too bright, desperate for approval, acceptance, belonging to something, would kill for some transcendence no matter how fake…

  21. I forgot how likeable mmbh is on camera. Or is it because donkey is so unbearably fake and overbearing. Every lip smacking noise she makes GRATES.

    • I cannot with the lip smacking, exaggerated swallow sh*t. It’s worse than that horrible KitKat commercial of people chewing with their mouths open. Gag.

    • Mary has always had a natural charm on camera. I’m surprised she has hasn’t managed to get some sort of hosting gig or a semi regular segment on a Good Morning Houston type show. She’s dumber than a box of hair but she has a work ethic so that will always put her ahead of Julia. If Mary was writing a book I bet it would be done weeks ahead of her due date and if she made a claim that she was going offline to finish it, she would actually follow through.

      • Wasn’t it MMBH who busted ass securing ads for TMI, & D0nk who burnt those bridges & connections?

        I can relate to her a bit … she cooks healthy; she drinks beers; she hangs out w/ guy friends … all that’s right up my alley. Also, she wasn’t the wimpering chickenshit Meghannaise was when it came to disassociating w/ a conniving d0nkey, so chops for that too.

  22. Also her “old school” photoshoots album is +100 pictures and every last one of them belong on r/ghettoglamourshots. That is a full spectrum display of insanity.

  23. Oh, the pursed lips thing she used to do on TMI. And the way she would be just gagging to speak, barely able to contain herself while her “sisters” were talking.
    Wonder if Megan and Mary ever got their investment money back out of NonSociety. Hah!

    • I had horrible Raynauds in my 20s, literally purple hands/feet and for no reason it just gradually went away. It was very annoying, wanting to hide your hands all the time, and extremely uncomfortable. I still have “cold” hands but nothing like I used to have. So weird. I actually haven’t thought about it in a while.

      • I understand it’s extremely painful; sure sorry to know that you went thru that & glad for ya that it resolved. I was taken aback at how inflamed her hands look there — kinda scary, & I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

        • no prob, didn’t mean to be a debbie downer it was more of a pain in the ass than a serious medical condition, just your post reminded me- oh yeah I remember when I had freak hands. when they were cold they were purple and when they warmed up they were bright red.. I hear it has to do with stress, and since nowadays I just sit around eating bon bons and cheetos all day in the basement not paying bills, I don’t have to worry about it. mmbh was probably stressed dealing with a fucking donkey.

          • A friend works w/ a lady who has it (“Disease” or “Syndrome”, most likely) & she (my friend) cried when telling me about seeing her co-worker suffer w/ it — apparently she blundered into it by teasing the lady for wearing gloves up to her elbows in her cubicle, then the lady peeled one off & took the opportunity to educate her.

            My friend says it was the biggest eye opener for her in so many regards,but wrt to complaining, it was a game changer for her. Now they are good friends, inside & outside the workplace.

    • 2nd row down, right side, MMBH doing the “Bitch, Please” while Julie is babbling on about nonsense.. Those were some good times. I can’t be mad at MMBH 😀

        • Ding ding, you guessed it.

          If I remember correctly (but maybe I don’t, I’ve been watching this shit show for so fucking long): One of Julie’s very brief “greatest loves of all” made some offhand comment about how he likes bangs on women (or perhaps he just mentioned in passing that he thought one particular woman with bangs was pretty?) and so our dearest donk OF COURSE RAN OUT AND BOUGHT FAKE CLIP-IN BANGS. This was around the same time that she said she keeps a rule (a rule about as real as the cranberry guacamole) about never ever ever fucking until the 11th date, which is how and why I couldn’t take it anymore and chimed in as 11th wang, but I digress.

          Then, shortly after (I think this was when TMI was falling apart and Julie was glomming onto Hipster Jordan before Tiaragate), another one of Julie’s “greatest loves of all” said something about how he likes redheads (or perhaps, again, mentioned in passing that a person with red hair was pretty), so she IMMEDIATELY dyed her hair red. And then took the romper photo with the unlit cigarette and “never felt so sexy being edgy” or whatever.

          I could keep riffing on this for days but I’m tired and I have a lot of bills to pay, errands to run. My point: Variations on a theme.

          But, just for fun, we might as well jump ahead…how many years? I swear if I’m counting right it’s been at least five or six years. She’s so evolved now! Oh, so he likes an underwear model? Well I’LL SHOW HIM an underwear model! I’m surprised she hasn’t pierced her septum yet.

          So misguided then. Not the normal, healthy Julia that she is today. Lather, rinse, repeat.

          • Kevin Rose was the trigger for wangs. I believe the orange hair (and orange arches of doom) were for the benefit of Codename TK (aka Toph Eggers).

          • Think it was actually Harvard Harley. So she did the orange-haired “bad girl” fauxto shoot featuring leather clothing and an unlit cigarette because he rode a motorcycle and therefore was a “bad boy.” LOL.

          • Kevin Rose mentioned that he found a character in the movie “Watchmen” sexy and she had these bangs. Donk then went out and bought fake bangs and photographed herself in them. That’s how crazy she is, people. Completely nuts.

  24. Have we ever noticed that she is never tagged in anyone else’s posts? No one ever posts on her wall. It is actually sort of sad.

  25. Do we know if Asha and Mary are still in contact with each other? Were they friends from their USC days or did they meet through Donks?

  26. I truly believe that it is impossible for her to be authentic. It seems painful for her to pretend to be interested in anyone else, or what they have to say or how they feel. And as was mentioned, I am positive she doesn’t even believe what she says now. There is a background program constantly running in her mind that just says promote myself .. promote myself.. promote myself… What a fake asshole. It’s actually painful to witness. Both then and now.

    • the best was when she was in sweden or whatever and the lady was explaining about the champagne and she literally couldn’t feign interest for five seconds, not even bothering to look in the direction of the person speaking to her directly.

    • I’m reminded of that clip on MissAdvised when Robin tells her that she needs to work on listening to other people.

  27. I love how she acts as if she’s so different from New York Julia. She’s still the same exact person with the same exact goals (get attention, land a dude), only now she’s wearing fewer items of clothing and less makeup.

    • Also, she’s still only ever talking about “sex/dating, style, and technology…LOL.”

      Using woo jargon doesn’t make you a deeper, more enlightened person, Julia, it just makes you a person who learned some new vocabulary through which to describe your bullshit. You’re the exact same nightmare you always were, except now you’re using the word “paradigm” roughly seven billion more times.

    • With a long trail of squandered opportunities and burned bridges

      I wonder once in a while why this site exists — there are many equally vile people walking around — and then I remember the public acting out, the relentless self promotion and the head scratching of why her when leagues of actually qualified people willing to work hard exist, and I say, right, pip pip, yes yes, carry on, what’s happening today?

    • I find Chicago accents endearing on my friends that have one, but hers just grates. And thanks for letting me know you can only dye your hair when you don’t have a boyfriend, JABA. WTF?

  28. I hate to burst anyone’s bleached blond bubble, but Mary’s a horrible, stuck-up snot in real life. She large-shouldered me out of several situations in the span of an hour (including the bar, which is all kinds of hell no) at an official event for journalists. Journalists. She also stepped on me with her giant heels so she could take a duck face photo.

  29. It was right around this time when I had my first Donkey In The Wild sighting. I was living in Gramercy and out walking my (then) puppy during a very cold February morning. I heard JABA before I saw her. She was walking by herself, screaming and cursing into her phone.. something like HOW THE FUCK COULD SHE DO THIS. But more fucks than that. Sailor mouth. I looked up and made eye contact with her. It was maybe 11 am, and she was in full stage spackle makeup, that maroon velour track suit, and the moon boots..

    I then happened to go to the Kips Bay Loews for some Oscar movie screening marathon they were doing and ran smack into Mary Rambin. Saw Meghannaise with her, too. No Julia. I reported this to you guys and some smart catladies deduced that she was screaming about Mary. I think it was right after the fight they had about the awful dress she put her in. And within a week Mary flounced from NonSociety.

    I was so honored to witness at least a part of the unravelling. So blessed.

  30. Just got a facebook ad for bras with the URL of brayola dot com. Which one of you knuckleheads did this?

    • Ah ha ha ha ha ha! It’s a real company, and nice looking bras than car wash Coobies. Will Donks set herself up as spokesperson for this too? That would be pretty fucken meta.

      • Ha, I just checked it out and they have one of my current bras which I LOVE. Nice!

    • Have you ever checked out the Coobies site? If so, they got your number. I was assaulted with ads all summer long after learning about her ambassadorship. Haven’t been plagued lately.

  31. she’s braying that Halloween is omg “TWO WEEKS” away.. uh, no it’s more like, three weeks isn’t it? or just under. my little ones are less amped up than her about fricken Halloween.

    • I see it as three weekends from this weekend we’re still technically in …

      By D0nk’s reckoning, her never-gonna-happen book is due in a month!

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