UPDATED: Donks Not Actually Hired To Be a Bra Spokesyogi

Screen shot 2014-06-03 at 6.29.50 PM

So of course Donkey’s claims that she was hired to be a spokesperson for a bra company turns out to be as flimsy as the bras she’s peddling. As you commenters have uncovered, her story of contacting Coobie because she loved them so much and just had to spread the word and that they hired her to be a spokesperson is a flat out lie. She just responded to their call from bloggers to be a brand ambassador in exchange for some free bras. The photo shoot that she did for all the girls was not paid for by the company. Donkey took it on her own to stage a vanity photo shoot where she bravely overcame her body insecurities that she has despite constantly posting near-naked pictures of herself in Burner gear.

niceassA company rep confirmed that Donks is not a paid spokesperson for the company. She’s just part of their blogger program, even though she doesn’t blog anymore. I’m not sure of the timeline, but it appears that Donks waited until she got her free bras until she even bothered to mention the company.

FROM THE COOBIE STORE:

October 15, 2013 · Charlotte, NC ·
Attention Coobie fans! We are looking for 100 or so of you die hard Coobie Seamless Bra lovers to become part of our new “Coobie Ambassador” program. You’ll simply help spread the word about Coobie Seamless Bras and help build our fan base (and yes, there are awesome Coobie perks!). If you are interested please email – jordan@totalstockroom.com by October 25th. Thank you for your wonderful support!

April 11, 2014 ·
COOBIE AMBASSADORS! Only 3 more “likes” and you all receive your free product! Let’s get 23,000!!

FROM JULIA ALLISON:

April 30, 2014 · near San Francisco, CA
Walking my pup at 6 am … This place doesn’t feel real.
(Palace of Fine Arts Theatre; scene of fauxtoshoot)

June 03, 2014 · San Francisco, CA
I contacted the family-run North Carolina company and told them I loved their products and I wanted to tell the world about them. A few weeks later, they hired me as their newest spokeswoman.

I don’t have time to unravel this pack of lies in detail, but y’all have proven yourselves capable to do so on your own.

UPDATE: And you have! According to Lurker, Donk’s actually tried to bill the company for her vanity photoshoot/ultimate act in feminist bravery.

They were not impressed. They were super confused about the “spokesperson” title. That is why I got put on hold. The lady was like, spokesperson? Uh, no . . . this woman called us recently about sending an invoice for the fauxtoshoot and we didn’t know what she was talking about.

UPDATE 2: Looks like Donks is gonna keep on keeping on, until she finds a graceful way to say fuck it.

10426591_10100713233461235_2309568870584534974_nThe Coobie Store 30 Day Challenge – Day 2

I woke up, checked my email, got some news I didn’t really like, and my enthusiasm for exercise immediately waned. Why IS this? I got enough sleep. I ate really healthy yesterday. I had my vitamins. I just feel depressed, like “what’s the point of it all?” like Sisyphus rolling that boulder up a mountain, except without the awesome glutes he must have gotten from the workout.

Setbacks don’t really spur me to want to do anything but eat a big pile of medjool dates. Laugh all you want, dates are my cocaine. The ones you eat, friends, not the ones you get dressed up for … Luckily, I’ve kicked my addiction to the latter.

THAT SAID, I made a deal, so I’m going anyway. To a run!

(In my purple & white tie-dye #Coobie)

521 COMMENTS

  1. SHOCKING! The normal, emotionally healthy donkey that she is today would NEVER mislead anyone! She’s changed!

    P.S. Fuck you, Ellsworth.

      • There hasn’t been a lot of back-and-forth between Julie and Ellsberg lately. I thought they were BFF?

        • Her BFF Greasy fell off the radar a while back, too. I think people just get burned out with her nonsense, or eventually get wise to her..

  2. Why are we suprised. She’s a pretend bra spokesperson like she’s a pretend fashion week reporter.

  3. Praise Lurker for confirming the latest insanity. As I noted in the last post, I was OMG! one of the first 100 customers at a new Capriotti’s in my neighborhood. I told them I loved their cheesesteak sub and they hired me as their new CEO–the stock options are incredible!

      • That discount code will cost ya! Stage a fauxto shoot of yourself munching away on one of MY delicious subs while romping around an overexposed tourist attraction and that code is in your queue!

        • Did they give you any free coupons that you could sell us? Like if you have a coupon for $5 off your next sandwich, I could buy it from you for $4.75.

  4. Psycho-delic said the company told her that Donkey actually tried to bill them for the photoshoot! It is time for the 5150. Haul this bish away.

      • In the last post at 10:58 a.m. she replied to me when I said I hoped calling them didn’t bring positive attention to Donkey:

        “They were not impressed. They were super confused about the “spokesperson” title. That is why I got put on hold. The lady was like, spokesperson? Uh, no . . . this woman called us recently about sending an invoice for the fauxtoshoot and we didn’t know what she was talking about.”

        • Holy shit! I thought you were teasing about that last bit. Donkey thought she could grift $$$ out of Coobie for her fucking vanity shoot?!

        • Holy FUCK!!!! Julia Allison is one shady whackjob!

          Kudos, Psycho! #ThuperThlueth

          • I may change my name soon so as not to be called “Psycho,” but thanks! I can’t quit this bitch. Been on a roll since the Shanti BK filings. So much horseshit to haul.

          • I know! When you got on tha ShantiTown Take Down, I was all like: “Does she even go here?”

          • Ha. long time lurker who got set off by 35K/mo claims and BK filings and shat the bed last month in billable hours as a result. Oh well, still over budget on average so whatever.

          • Lurker, thanks to you I just died laughing and came back from the other side. This is hilarious!!

          • Aww. You say ‘shit the bed.’ That’s one of my favorite bizarre expressions I never hear anyone else use.

          • And Lurker doesn’t work either because you have unearthed a ton of amazing facts.

        • Also, if she contacted them on Monday, I’m assuming that whatever photographer she used has thus far gone unpaid and will probably not see a dime unless Dadsers ponies up.

          • hasn’t touted the fauxtaugh either, which seems out of character, unless they said dont use my name send me the money only

          • Outcome TBD: depends on who finally eats the bill, Dad$er or the currently-unknown photog.

          • Does anybody use contracts in her world? Isn’t it customary to sign a contract agreeing on price and terms of payment prior to engaging in a freelance gig?

            Also, I am betting that dadser already paid the photog & julie is trying to get a few hundred bucks from cewbie company for her pocket.

            she is a goddamned mess.

          • You know she grifted the fauxtoshoot for free, promising the poor bastard lots of great exposure in a “national advertising campaign.”

            Bitch was gonna pocket the ca$h if the company was dumb enough to actually pay her “invoice” for something they never asked her to do in the first place..

    • Wasn’t Psyho-delic just teasing about that billing? Good Lord, if that’s the truth …

      • I’d believe it. I mean, what’s the harm in asking? She’s already demonstrated repeatedly that she has zero shame. It would be one less expenditure she has to explain to Daddy if she could trick them into paying for it instead. Always Be Grifting!

        • She may have hoped that it would get pushed through channels of non-communication & inadvertently get paid, but she may also have a “regime” of generating a paper trail to satisfy Dad$er before he ultimately signs off & pays for yet another greg-damned fauxtoshoot.

          I now perceive Julia Allison’s narcissism to be on a much grander scale than I even knew existed — this bitch would gladly put @LillyDog down if someone agreed to take professional photos of her doing it.

          • P.S. THIS is why Julia Allison wants an “intern” to do her grunt work for free, so that if / when shit hits the fan, she can always blame someone else, citing clerical errors of the ‘inexperienced’ persuasion.

          • ^^This. Like when Lasagna called up that poor Chicago woman at her job and threatened her because the woman had joined the SAVE RBNS Facebook page. Horrible Donkey Is Horrible.

        • But has this ever worked, especially if the person isn’t really affiliated with an organisation or business?
          I mean, once upon a time, when I was still working in the media, I had just started a new job at a public broadcaster and there was this guy whom no one really liked and who was acting as if he was about to become the next controller of the station. I was never able to figure out what exactly he was doing and, when asking some of my colleagues, was told: “Oh, he used to be an intern, but he simply kept showing up after it had ended”. Apparently no one had the heart to kick him out. He still works there, by the way.
          But this was after a three-months internship, not like this.

      • Not teasing. Happened for realz. They said someone called asking where to send the invoice. Since they knew Jules by name when I mentioned her and noted that they’d talked to Jules yesterday but then said “someone” called asking re where to send the invoice, it appears that Jules pretending not to be Jules (rather, an assistant?) called re the invoice. Or maybe the photog or photog’s assistant called. Who knows. She is batshit.

        • This woman has had great job opportunities and managed to fuck them all up in record time. Now she spends her time trying to wheedle her way into non-existent gigs and expects the targeted employer to pay for her portfolio? What a fucking loon.

          • not only fuck up job opportunities in record time, but then throw all people with real jobs everywhere under the bus. You don’t want me? FINE. I never wanted YOU! I’m fired? I quit anyway. Jobs. Are for suckers. Except you, dadsers! Mwa!

        • Bitch is attempting to defraud that company. They should (not even kidding here) send her a cease & desist if she actually follows through with the fake invoice.

        • Is it possible it was the photographer who called about the invoice? I wouldn’t be surprised if Donkey told them to bill the company, knowing full well that the photog would get screwed in the end.

          • Yes. They said “someone” or “some woman” called asking where to send the invoice. So, either Julia, Julia acting like not-Julia or the photog or photog asst. called. Is my bet.

          • It would definitely stall (see what I did there?) having to turn the bill over to Dad$er, but how the hell are people “in business” this naive, to echo someone else’s point about fee contracts.

          • Re Brayella: how the hell are people “in business” this naive

            Sadly, not everyone starts out as savvy as a Bill Gates or a Donald Trump. Just look to craigslist for examples of Julia’s that prey on “self-employed” folks who will jump at the chance of finally landing a contract gig and will basically work for free.

            Most ads contain the phrases: “to build your experience/portfolio”, “on a trial basis”, “in exchange for consideration for a larger paying contract”, “to show you have the skills for a potential full-time position”.

            It’s painful to hear about folks being taken in by assholes, and I think that colleges and art schools should REALLY teach job and contract negotiation 101 to ALL their student as a required course.

    • Post from May 11 with two yoga photo examples including the one above: “Looking for a really talented studio photographer in the Bay area who can do shoot photos like this for $1000-$1500 (and edit well in post). Would be a few hours of a shoot. (Also looking for awesome hair & makeup). Let me know who you recommend!”

      • But her fauxtos show her as a “real woman,” not someone on a professional shoot with editing, a hair stylist, and a makeup artist! She’s natural! Just a regular shlub doing her normal workout.

        • How honest and authentic of her! How can anyone doubt her ethics or her true self?! So evolved! So spiritual!

      • Edit well in post! No photo chop! Haven’t begun to zoom in on the photos as I originally assumed the company had taken them, but I bet there is some creature being borne from her belly button somewhere in her shadows.

        • Someone pointed this out in an earlier post but let’s not forget her tattoo is NOT in these pictures. Such a real woman.

        • I think the person she got to shoot these pics wasn’t good at photoshop so she decided to use the “Real Woman” (as opposed to other women who are made of wax or something?) spin.

    • Hey now.. Julie’s very close friends Bashar Khan, Prakesh Bhong, Semejo Tap and Mohamer Hak Mohamed love that photo. She is an influencer, people!

  5. (repost from other thread; more applicable in this update, methinks)

    The ulterior motive is OMG! FAUXTOSHOOT!

    Seriously, the girl is driven to fawn over herself, & goes to any extremes necessary to facilitate a fauxtoshoot. Remember the one she orchestrated entirely on her own as ‘announcement’ of her TMS gig that TMS was anything BUT enchanted w/?

    My theory of how she pulls it off goes like this: Tries 1st to grift FREE fauxtoshoot > billed / PAID fauxtoshoots are “the cost of doing business, Daddy!” (she presumably has to keeps reels & lookbook updated, as far as Dad$er needs to know) > then D0nkey pulls the wool over her parent$ eyes by alluding to an actual payoff as a result of said fauxtoshoot (“hired!” “spokeswoman!”) > Mom$er & Dad$er think D0nk is a mover & a shaker who not only makes things happen, but also pays her own airfare*, which subliminally transbraytes as having earned income to spend on frivolous travel.

    * (I still maintain that her airfare is mostly (maybe completely) independent of the allowance that Dad$er gives D0nkey & he doesn’t know that she somehow comes by it independent of paying for it w/ actual dollars (blow jobs for shoes much?).

    Julia Allison lives a bizarre lie, & her Princeton / Yale educated dad is either too stupid to catch on, or he willingly perpetuates the lie because they are unwilling / unable to actively deal. I like to think that JP opened his eyes & that Dad$er is reading here, getting up to speed. ::I just struck terror in the black heart of D0nkey, who we *know* reads here::

    • I don’t think the parents are the reason for this. She is faking a job to pad her portfolio so she can grift an actual job like this.

      She is so fucking unethical.

      • Neither do I think the parent$ are the reason for this. 😉

        Fauxtoshoots are the reason for this, or at least that is the theory that I am going to hold in a container & sit with for awhile (until its shadow nurtures my 15-year-old inner slut).

        • Actually I think you are right. She figured out a way to grift yet another narcissistic vanity shoot just because she loved the look of the PFA. I bet she thought the company would fall all over themselves and offer her a job when they saw how amazing she looked. She is so far up her own ass and so high on her own farts.

          • Thanks! I have great work to share w/ the world & I mine each experience of the nugget of gold & take action on it. Once I woke up & stepped into the life I was meant to live, my life has improved exponentially as a result. Thank you for asking!

    • “I like to think that JP opened his eyes & that Dad$er is reading here, getting up to speed”

      Wait, how did JP open Dadster’s eyes? Has JP been Raul all along? 😛

      (No, really, I must’ve missing something. Did JP email Dadster?)

  6. ok LOOK
    I do not understand her tittays!!! DOES SHE HAVE BIG HONKERS OR NOT?

      • yes I did! ring rang rung!

        I always thought JA at least had a nice rack going for her, perfectly symmetrical pepperonis and all, but lately – it’s not even that they’re sagging… they’re magically GONE (or never existed and chicken cutlets were indeed something she wore every single goddamned day)

  7. From her original post, what a lie:

    “Thank you to The Coobie Store for actually hiring a non-model to pose in their gear.”

    And leaving a paper trail re hiring your own photog for this same shoot ob fb? Sloppy work, donks.

    • God, I wish someone would call her out on this, but she would probably delete and block.

    • Also OT, Scary Mandolph’s younger sister is getting married this weekend. This further increases the chances of a melt-down from a certain increasingly desperado former NonSociety intern…

      • No wonder Scary got back together with her low rent Don Draper boyfriend. She probably couldn’t bear to go to her younger sister’s wedding without a date.

        • I believe on her tumblr she said something like “my MISTER is my date to my lil sis’s wedding” or somesuch.

          I wish I was making that up.

    • Why didn’t they acknowledge a dusty donkey– sorry, Adorned Goddess— who wore red plastic flowers from the craft store as her “hippie” costume at the Lunacy Festival?

  8. Oh noes. Did Coobie email Donkster and ask, “who the fuck are you and what is this bill about?”

    Julia Allison
    8 minutes ago
    The Coobie Store 30 Day Challenge – Day 2

    I woke up, checked my email, got some news I didn’t really like, and my enthusiasm for exercise immediately waned. Why IS this? I got enough sleep. I ate really healthy yesterday. I had my vitamins. I just feel depressed, like “what’s the point of it all?” like Sisyphus rolling that boulder up a mountain, except without the awesome glutes he must have gotten from the workout.

    Setbacks don’t really spur me to want to do anything but eat a big pile of medjool dates. Laugh all you want, dates are my cocaine. The ones you eat, friends, not the ones you get dressed up for … Luckily, I’ve kicked my addiction to the latter.

    THAT SAID, I made a deal, so I’m going anyway. To a run!

    (In my purple & white tie-dye #Coobie)

    • Did Dad$ers cancel her credit cards?

      Now that would be news she wouldn’t “really like”.

      • No, that would cause a full blown meltdown of epic proportions.. (it would be fucking delicious!) The #Coobie folks emailing her a “WTF? We never hired you for anything..” is much more plausible.

    • So does this mean that we’re lined up for 28 more photos of donks in a bra? Ugh. Or maybe not, as she nearly gave up after one day.

    • Mejdool dates are her cocaine.

      Ok, I believe that. Julia Allison experiences things in a much, much more intense way then we mere mortals.

      Remember, this is a woman who went to a Tony Robbins weekend pep seminar and testified that she had never experienced such divine grace. Her actual words: “Divine grace”. Toothy, be-suited, you-can-be-a-millionaire-too television infomercial guy. Tony Robbins. Divine grace.

      There were, she tweeted, no words to describe the ecstasy, love and Divine Grace that she witnessed.

      At a Tony Robbins weekend retreat.

      That’s pretty fucking intense. Most of us would be a little embarrassed to willingly sit through a Tony Robbins seminar. He and those like him (anyone remember Susan Powter? Great hair!) have pretty much been exposed as modern day charlatans. I mean, he gives a good pep talk, and he’s not advocating any racism or bigotry or war… so, you know, he’s harmless, if greedy.

      And if we could get past our embarrassment and feel like Tony motivated us a little, well, we might keep it to ourselves. Or preface it by saying “I know this may sound whacko, but the corny Tony Robbins conference thing was actually pretty good…”

      Not Julia. The sun shines a little brighter for our hero. The raindrops sparkle just a little bit more diamond-like. She literally cannot imagine – or even describe – anything as divine and holy and transformative and True as a Tony Robbins conference. It was like brunch with Christ. Like going antique-ing with the Buddha. Have you guys ever had a three-way with MLK Jr. and Mother Teresa? In front of a volcano? Well, that’s what going to a frigging Tony Robbins seminar is like for this girl. It’s indescribable.

      Wow.

      So while I like to down an occasional date or two now and again, I can totally see why they would hit Julia a little harder. She’s like that.

      • Did you just say “hit Julia a little harder”?

        Well, what an AMAZING coincidence.

      • 1. she’s never, ever mentioned dates as her “cocaine” before. Did she just discover them, like her long missing humility?
        2. she’s after a rich Greek guy, or
        3. she’s schilling

        Don’t read so much into it! She’ll be off the evils-of-dates-as-sugar in 2 months

        • She has never described them as her cocaine but, yes, she has mentioned them before as something she eats every day.

          • well I’ve been around a long, long time and don’t recall ever associating Julie Allison Baugher and dates (the kind you eat! see what I did there?) together

          • Me too. Been here since lift off.

            She said she had weird eating habits and, along with dates being a daily thing, would eat a tuna fish sandwich every day.

      • I feel so transformatively uplevelled after reading this delicious post. Namaste, flatface.

      • Tony Robbins should incorporate your “Like having brunch with Christ” into his marketing materials, heh..

        But.. Tony was BAD ASS in Shallow Hal. That scene in the elevator made the whole movie for me. 🙂

    • “Why is this?”

      You just answered your own question, fucking dingbat. You got news you didn’t like. NEWSFLASH – vitamins won’t cute disappointment after receiving bad news. Why are you so retarded???

    • Maybe the email was from the photographer saying “I saw your post about being a spokesmodel, tried to bill the company for our shoot and they didn’t know anything about it. What the actual fuck, Rainbow?”

      • Yeah, what happened to project Rainbow? Is it with the Cappuccino art project, the Missing Davos Report and all the other things she said she’d do before promptly forgetting about them?

  9. “as flimsy as the bras she’s peddling” LOL
    This is so crazy…why why does she do stuff like this??? I mean isn’t she sick of people laughing at her??? and Why Chobie??? If you are going to lie about being a spokesperson why not aim a little higher…

  10. Right off, I noticed the LIU tat MIA & insignificant as it is, the “why” behind is sort of a big question mark in my mind, if that was by D0nk’s choice (why would she bother, unless this fauxtoshoot has bigger fish to fry?)

    Maybe D0nk has an angle working towards this monetized member$hip cite / $ite / $ight called: “MY YOGA”? It’s where Davidiot is a “featured musician”, BTW, & you can purchase his albums from there. Maybe D0nk is planning to hawk he book to all the members there, & needs to look like she really does do yoga on the regular?

    ~ http://www.myyogaonline.com/learn-more
    ~ http://www.myyogaonline.com/about-us/artists/the-human-experience

  11. This may be the single Donkey antic that confuses me the most. Who is she trying to fool? And why?

    If you squint really hard, the fake-reporting at NYFW could possibly be an investment in getting a plausible reel so as to get paid work. Also, free dresses.

    But the endgame on this caper?

    • I think she believes she can parlay this into getting additional brand ambassador/spokesperson jobs. She thinks it reinforces her “worth” as a brand in her resume and as a self-proclaimed “branding expert.” It’s all fine until somebody calls her out on it. You’d think she’d have learned something after the NY Post called her out as impersonating an NBC reporter at Fashion Week, but apparently not. It is pathologically necessary for her to have people to think she is more important than she is, and that is just so fucked up.

    • She wants people to think she has a job and gets paid for shit. And she doesn’t, and never does.

      • It’s also another demonstration of how stupid she thinks her audience is.

        • Well, they are pretty stupid. Look at how many of her newfound hippie festival friends think she is oh so wonderful?

  12. No one will laugh. Jesus fuck. Your “I’m so zany!” routine is tired and so are you. How are you not tired of making the same stupid non-joke repeatedly?

    The only ones laughing are us, but not because you’re so quirky and twee you busted face burro.

    I just cannot with her today. KANT.

    • Not just dates, but medjool dates! You know, those things that are packed with sugar, the sugar that she’s not eating this month.

      • Of course.

        She had to point out she is SO FAMILIAR with dates (and cocaine, apparently) that she had to qualify then.

        Plain dates are not good enough for Donkallison’s exquisite taste.

          • Oh, yes.

            And her writing style is SO BAD that they come across as complete fakes.

            Nobody ever says “I just had a Gala apple” or “I just had a San Marzano tomato salad”. She is terminally stupid. Period.

          • It’s a tip off that what she’s really going to do is snarf three chocolate bars in the aisle at Whole Foods.

    • Sounds like someone is responding to hair sample comment (she’ll shave her head) then send letters from her non-attorney attorney.

  13. Stupid fuck doesn’t understand then myth of Sisyphus. When he’s going UP the mountain he’s driven by hope. It isn’t until he comes down that he realizes it’s futile — that’s when his thought-process becomes interesting.

    But keep on pushing that boulder up the hill you dumb fuck, you’ll never get to the top because you’re too stupid.

    • In Julia’s version, Sisyphus probably has an intern to do the boulder pushing.

      • She probably didn’t even know who Sisyphus was until she read about him on a trading card (COLLECT All 12!) form a box of Medjool Dates.

        Tune in next post where she compares herself to Perspehone because she too liked kale.

  14. Shanti released $880K of debt yesterday. Hooray!

    Ali Shanti shared a link.
    56 minutes ago
    My bankruptcy case is officially closed, as of yesterday. Yay! The whole process was far smoother than I could have hoped for, though it did take nearly 2 years from start to finish.

    Many have asked why I filed bankruptcy instead of just making the money to pay back the debt. I could have done that, but it would not have been the most responsible choice. I’ll be writing all about that in the book, You Are Not Your Credit Score, which I can now begin writing in earnest.

    Book proposal will be done by end of this month. For now, you can read this throw back blog post, if interested: http://eyeswideopenlife.com/blog/alexis-neely/to-the-edge-and-back/

    This week, I am scheduling interviews with lawyers who have been successful negotiating debt down on behalf of their clients AND even suing lenders for millions of dollars in settlement for unfair debt collection practices.

    I am SO excited for this new chapter.

    • Paying your debts is not the responsible thing to do..

      Dammit. Why didn’t Alexis post that yesterday, before I frivolously gave away several hundred of my non-grifted dollars to my landlord? 🙁

      • And another book proposal! But this one sounds boring. Needs more colors, bright.

      • But she could have paid the debt! Shady Shanti wrote that sentence so it must be true. However, paid them with what? Her collection of rhinestones? Those old bath towels she was using as curtains. A certificate awarding each creditor “Business Priestess”?

        • Lately nothing irks me more than this crazy bitch and her bucket of lies. Alexis Neely a.k.a. Ali Shanti is a con artist. It pisses me off that she’s still peddling the whole defrauding creditors as a smart bidness lady move and now she wants to write a book about it. Unreal.

          “Many have asked why I filed bankruptcy instead of just making the money to pay back the debt.” Seriously? Fuck off. It’s so obvious that bankruptcy was the game plan from day one. She used a perfect credit score to run up a shit ton of unsecured debt.

          Maybe she claimed it was to fund or grow her own LOLyer firm. Maybe she said she wanted to expand her so-called ‘New Business Law Model’ (otherwise known as: Why Work When You Can Steal From Clients?). Who knows. I’m sure whatever it was, she had her pitch down pat and charmed the pants off the bank President.

          How does one go bankrupt after owning million dollar businesses? Answer: she neither owned them nor did they profit millions. I think her big score was the stolen client money (2% of a multi-million dollar family trust) plus all that unsecured loan money. She funneled that into her online business fronts, which technically aren’t even hers as they are owned by her self-managed trust.

          She’s getting away with it too as the look back period for fraudulent transactions in Colorado is limited to 2 years (California is 4 years). So when Alexis Neely, an individual, files for bankruptcy in Colorado, it truly appears she has no assets. Nothing is in her name anymore. Her bank accounts are empty. She only receives a small salary from her online business fronts. The “House of all Scams” is likely owned by one of those two fronts or the trust itself. Bottom line is everything is out of reach of her creditors. That’s why she gets to hang on to her $50,000 RV (her mobile party palace for Burning Man trips). The vehicle title is in the name of one of her two business fronts owned by her trust.

          It sickens me that this bitch, who holds a law degree from Georgetown, who has decided she’s too good to actually I don’t know, work for money like the rest of us, has literally stolen hundreds of thousands of other people’s money. And now she is trying to spin it off as some valuable life lesson in the world of business and write a book about it. She is a con, pure and simple and deserves to be called out for each and every lie and dollar she steals or grifts.

          Sorry to rant, but cons and sociopaths like this irritate me to no end.

          TL; DR version — This shady bitch is getting away with it y’all.

          • I can’t think about her too much before really losing it, but. What you said, and also don’t forget that the BK filing came straight on the heels of the malpractice suit she settled for cash. I think either she lost whatever money she got/stole from that family (which was, I agree, likely the bulk of her assets, 2% of $40 million) in the settlement, or she managed to get all of that money into the businesses and file for bankruptcy in order to avoid having to hand it all over in connection with the lawsuit. If she did the latter, it means she completely fucked that family over.

    • LOL! This bitch really thinks the rest of the world is fucking stupid. Glad you used an exit strategy to discharge your debt that should be reserved for people who really need it.

      But then again you clearly did, because you had a failed business, could not hack being a lawyer, and could not stop spending money because you are a petulant child.

      No one believes you could have paid that back. With what money? God I hate her ass so hard. I would throw a small party with myself if she were disbarred.

      Honey, you are a disgusting piece of shit and an embarrassment to attorneys everywhere. Go fuck yourself.

      • “Honey, you are a disgusting piece of shit and an embarrassment to attorneys everywhere. Go fuck yourself.”

        I feel like I’ve heard this ^^ from you before. Glad it was about someone else this time. 😛

        • LOL very funny. 😉

          And I know you know what I am talking about. Our profession is disparaged enough we don’t need her stinkin up the joint.

    • From her FB comments:

      Francis DellaVecchia Depends which side of the equation one is on. Someone filed for BK owing me 6 figures, which I will never see. That didn’t feel particularly responsible to me, or the other creditors, many of whom were ordinary individuals, I imagine. I’m by no means equating your situation with mine, but I’m wary of encouraging people to file. It’s had a major detrimental impact on my life.
      about an hour ago · Like · 1

      Claudia Amore That’s unfortunate Francis.
      about an hour ago · Like

      Ali Shanti Francis DellaVecchia, yes my creditors that didn’t get paid were all big banks. Any individuals I owed were (or are in process of being) paid back. I advocate responsible use of bankruptcy and that involves not paying back where it’s most responsible not to, which requires looking carefully about who you are not paying back and impact on them.

      Louise Botwright Love the honesty & straight talking of your blog Ali
      about an hour ago · Like

      Christy Love Congrats mama. I received my letter of debt discharge the day I returned from burning man in 2012. While it’s amazing to be debt free in my experience living without credit and on a totally cash basis sucks.
      33 minutes ago · Like

      • The only entities not paid back (or trying to pay back) were big banks. Nope, false. You’re forgetting your former landlord who had a $25K claim against you presumably for refusing to move out or pay rent. He didn’t get paid back. Neither did the family trust you swindled.

        And the whole “advocating bankruptcy” thing explodes my brain. To the extent that is legal advice, it is really really bad, especially because she doesn’t make much of an effort to explain the consequences of BK. I could maybe understand it if she said, look, BK entails XYZ and you won’t be able to do such and such if you file, that said, in some cases BK is the way to go because blah. But no, other people are the ones pointing out the consequences of BK to her. Fucking horrible person.

        • yeah, like her friends said why dont you just make the money, the $800,000, like casually make it in a few weeks, fileked up!

      • that involves not paying back
        where it’s most responsible not to

        Keep huffing them fumes of your own
        BS, Alexis Martin Neely AKA Ali Shanti.

    • Quoting Alexali Shantineely: “I’m too creative and too resourced to run out of money. Every time I’ve been on the brink of not being able to buy groceries something has come through.”

      Wow! You really are full of yourself.

      You are either incredibly lucky (like 1 in 10 billion lucky) or you somehow stashed away some money beyond the reach of the BK court.

          • NO WAY!!! So she admits that she is BROKE!! All of this is TERRIBLE advice! ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN!! To FEED! OMG, these are the things she counts among random reasons she is able to feed and clothe her children:

            Every time I’ve been on the brink of not being able to buy groceries something has come through. A tax refund check, or someone wanted to buy a product I wasn’t even marketing, or an old friend that owed me money decided to pay me back out of the blue.

            It is a bad idea to count on these things!

    • That post makes me think, “What would someone like, say, Suze Orman have to say about that entire post?” I could imagine her busting a blood vessel responding to that. No thanks Ali Shanti, you can stop writing now. I’ll get my financial advice from someone who doesn’t have towels for curtains.

      • LOL Suze Orman, meet Alexis Neely who is also Ali Shanti. Here is her financial philosophy. Poof goes Suze Orman’s head.

      • Have y’all gone back to look at this irresponsible, disgusting, foul, piece of utter (bat)shit thread on her FB about the bankruptcy? Honestly – I am sickened. She is someone that needs to be institutionalized. And her fucking followers praising her for her bankruptcy make me want to cry for my kids for having to pay for all the fucking entitled, shit bags of my generation.

        For instance:

        From fuckface Steven Miller, an very edumacated economics mind:

        There are literally hundreds of videos on YouTube that can education you on how money works. You should be more concerned with how the banks and financial institutions are destroying our economy and enslaving you and your children that about the people who are forced or choose to before they are forced to file bankruptcy.

        Truly – this Coobie bullshit has nothing on a truly dangerously stupid Ali Shanti/Alexis Neeley.

        • Sorry to continue my rant –

          So correct me if I’m wrong, she declared bankruptcy with lots of debts to like Nordstrom and Neiman’s, correct? No dire medical bills? No terrible personal injury rendering someone unable to work? She seems to be keeping up with her goddamn eyelash extensions and hair feathers. She makes me so fucking mad.

          • You are not wrong. The only event that occurred prior to BK is that huge malpractice suit. I believe she either lost everything in settling that suit and filed BK or else hid all of her money in her companies and then filed BK in order to avoid paying a cash settlement. She is horrible.

    • Not only that, but she wants women to stop using tampons and instead shove a plastic cup or something up our vaginas. Which we get to wash off in a sink, I guess? I don’t know, I had to stop reading because I was literally drinking a can of V8 at the time. I am going to use more tampons now just to piss her off. Just kidding, I don’t use any because, Mirena.. I want to have it removed though. Seriously. Maybe Filet can do it. I just gave myself a nightmare. And this was your DwH TMI for the night.. take care, everyone.

      • Hee, I have one of those and I love it. But I don’t post about it on Facebook because ew, nobody needs that imagery.

      • Huh? Like an oil pan for your vagina? OK, we’ve officially gone too far with the lady things talk the past couple of days. Let’s talk about dude things, please.

        • I’m trying to think of dude things but instead all I can think of is Shantitown’s stance on oil pans and ugly tie dye bralettes.

          • Shows I recommend:

            The Wire
            Breaking Bad
            Current great show on FX Fargo
            GoT, kinda, but read the books. Lord let GRRM finish
            Sons of Anarchy.

            I was late to the game of Sons, but once I caught up, man, it is SUCH a great show. Do yourself a favor and at least netflix the 1st season.

          • Breaking Bad is pretty badass

            You guys can pretty servicey 😀

  15. Anyone else halfway expecting a D0nk sighting in Chat as a result of these delicious & juicy revelations of late? Who’s up for a cuddle puddle in the cat cave, later this eve?

    • YES, I was just about to post something along these lines. I was thinking back to whenever she hopped into the comments and there was that whole party pants thing. Bitch just got called out on a really stupid, really bad lie in less than 24 hours. Come at me.

    • I am down for a chat sesh later. Today is the last day with students, so I’m thinking there is a sixer of Leinenkugel in my near future! I will aim for 5 Pacific!

      • Ooh I would enjoy that. I have never actually been around for chat. In fact I was just thinking today, that I have only a vague sense of most of you, though I’ve been here for years. I change names, some of you change names. I only remember what a few of you do. The rest of you sort of melt into a beloved blur of donk- loathing, cat-loving fatties.

    • I lurked during that 2010 mess when Julia came in to answer all of your questions openly and honestly. I can’t believe that was four years ago and here she is STILL boggling minds with outrageous behavior.

      I really don’t know if I even have anything to say to a Donks at this point. I mean, I would not believe a THING she said — she could show me an offer letter from the company and I would be like, nope, you made that up, liar. I simply don’t believe anything she says anymore. And she is also so bad that I would just want to hurl insults at her and that is not a good look. I believe shitty by the bray said that she was glad she hasn’t run into a donkey in SF because she would just empty a drink on her head. That’s where I’m at. Drink-throwing. The apex of any quality reality TV drama made by Andy Cohen.

    • My laptop shit the bed earlier, but Gumbz (points for anyone who remembers what that acronym means!!!!! [Gratuitous use of exclamation points.] Ooooh, lint in my… wait, where am I? Oh yeah… … “Get it? There is an invisible ellipses between those elipses!!!”) and I are in there now!

      • Add two adjectives before each noun and you have a mighty fine sentence right there. 🙂

    • I’m sorry I abandoned idling in chat and everyone deserted. I miss you all. I’m in there now! With pinky and psycho Lurker.

      • If you are super elite and know what irc is the info is;

        Irc.mibbit.net
        Channel #rbns

        Otherwise use the easy URL. Tinyurl.com/rbnscats

  16. so she got a “brand ambassador” email like a bunch of other people that was like, hey try our bras and maybe post something nice, and decided this was a career opportunity? I thought she was against consumerism and materialism? isn’t being a “brand ambassador” for made in China bras kind of opposite that? oops I forgot I was talking about Donk…

    my dad and I were talking about a family member who is a bit like Julia, and he said “there are just some people who would rather spend more energy not working than actually work.” like with all the energy she uses to fuel her schemes and tricks she could just work some kind of job. Jacy said it before, but if she had just made one of her many opportunities work years ago, like at STAR, she would have the life she wants – she would be in a city, have met cool people, etc. By trying to find shortcuts or exceptions she has fallen off the map.

    • Well, it’s not really consumerism since Donkey didn’t get paid a dime. It was purely an attention-seeking endeavor. Donkey is pro-attention full stop.

      • yeah but like, her whole job here is to get other people to buy the bras – thats why they give her free shit. so I guess Donkles gets to stay pure and yogi-like while she encourages her fans in the stans to buy coobie bras? she is so god damn lame.

  17. MORE PUZZLE PIECES FOR TIMELINE:
    Google “coobie julia allison” & the 1st hit reads:
    Julia Allison | (JuliaAllison) on Twitter | https://twitter.com/JuliaAllison
    The latest from Julia Allison (@JuliaAllison). A curious girl in a … Julia Allison followed Coobie, Fractal Planet, David Block and 3 others. Follow Following …

    SHILLDEBEAST HAS ONLY TWEET-SHILLED X2 THIS YEAR:
    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison · May 13 Soundtrack for your summer: The Human Experience’s collab w Quixotic – http://thehumanexperience.bandcamp.com/album/from-the-outside-looking-in … … Sexy, mesmerizing, delicious. And free, too!
    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison · Mar 14 The über talented art photogrpaher Sequoia @MissEmmanuelle is coming out with a delicious coffee table book … 🙂 https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1118548804/sequoia-emmanuelle-photography-book

    COULD THIS BE THE UNPAID FAUXTOGRAPHER?

    • I thought the Sequoia photo shoot was the goddess pepperoni nips shoot. From her fb crowd source post, it sounds like she went with someone more commercial and cheaper for the yoga shoot.

        • She shot photos for some of donkey’s goddess friends (Candace something or other and also LaPhlegm) and Donkey got jelly and had to immediately book an even more impressive soot to show them she is better than they are.

      • I wonder if Sequoia’s intended, Jacob Haralmbous, helped out withe the pepperoni. He gives me the heebie jeebies.

    • shillshacklesham does it better; still pitiful shilling, and that bar is quite low, but she does it better, collecting purses and nail polish to add to her collection, while someone else actually pays the bills

    • Either that or she is an AWFUL writer.

      Well, it’s not like they are mutually exclusive.

    • I’d also like to mention that the grass area she’s sitting on is totes popular with dogs and poo time. Enjoy!

      • Totally. I was a dog-walker in SF- that exact spot where she’s sitting was very popular with the dogs! We picked up and disposed of every poop, but still. And, saw that other people weren’t so considerate. Ew, I would not sit at that particular spot.

      • The best part is that she’s probably never taken Lily on a walk in her damn life, so she has NO idea where dogs poop or probably even that dogs like grass and the outside world. Serves her right.

        • She “walks” her dog. I know because she is absolutely and utterly is careless in doing it. Saw her literally drag the poor old dog around behind her. She couldn’t give two shits what goes on back there. If she treats an old dog that way (hello being tossed out of an suv) I can’t imagine what she’d do to old people. Gross abusive self centered bitch needs to give up the fucking dog already.

  18. How much do you want to bet that photoshoot was always for free and she was going to pocket the money?

    Actually I have zero doubt whatsoever. And if that ad to pay someone (LOL) $1500 is real, she got zero takers. $1500 for a few shots of you doing yoga that someone could have taken on instagram? Jesus christ go fuck yourself. I can’t!

    • The photos do look professional. Maybe some photographer spent a couple of hours doing the photoshoot plus an hour or two of post-processing and was expecting to be paid for it in cash, not facebook statuses.

      Of course, that doesn’t mean La Donka was going to pass on any money she would have gotten from Shidoobie.

      Maybe she used that as an excuse to NOT pay him the cash she had promised (Shidoobie is not paying me, I can’t pay you, I am tho thorry) or maybe she was hoping to get $1500 from Shidoobie and then pay like $200 to the photog.

      Something smells fishy in Donkeyland, as usual.

    • Well, back-dooring it is Mulia’s best chance to get on a payroll …

      Can’t recall at the moment what I’d thought of last night that swayed me the photog didn’t submit a bill to #CoobieLUV #TheCoobieStore but yeah, it’s all D0nk here, I have no doubt.

      I think she’s pretty fucking de$perate these days, melt-down ahead.

  19. How has she just now “discovered” seamless bralettes? Those cheap bras are the exact same ones that have been in Forever 21 for the past 5+ years and theirs are like, 5 dollars.

    And if you have a large B cup or above, they are absolutely worthless for anything besides lounging and sleeping.

    • I feel the same way about all yoga pants and shizz. I am doing a 5k today (LOL mostly walking because I need to train better for the next one). I am wearing some sports bra I bought forever ago that serves it’s purpose, a college t-shirt, and yoga pants from American Eagle Outfitters. Or I get them from Old Navy. She just needs an excuse to overpay for the same shit she can get at target, because she is SO ANTICONSUMERIST LOL.

    • I have a bunch of bras (in like 50 million colors! Spokesdonkey!) and I would never let my B cups hit the treadmil in them because they do nothing. Those flimsy straps can barely keep from bouncing around on a brisk walk.

    • Ditto. I watch Venus.com for bathing suit sales, so I saw (& cashed in on) $4 bandeau bras [IE’s go here] no regrets, but then again, I’m as busty as a 12-year-old boy, so my odds were good.

  20. Genuinely unbelievable. Sit the fuck DOWN, Donkey.

    I kant even form a coherent comment on this new slice of sadness. If I may rewind a bit, because I was distracted by desk errands since the Dadsers “reppin’ for normals” post, but I still have FEELS about it that I’m about to share as if anyone cares:

    I have no love for Dadsers, at best I think he is a massive tool, but I get that he was in good foolish faith trying to talk sense to his offensive donkey daughter in that “work can bring happiness” email that she decided to share with her close friends such as Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na. HOWEVER, not only was the message completely wasted on his burro, it was also beside the point IMO. Because yeah, challenge and satisfaction of productive work well done, that’s all very nice, but you know what’s ALSO very nice and arguably even more important? Not being a fucking parasite. If you can’t find joy and satisfaction in your work, that is your prerogative (and I realize that with some types of work, it is pretty much impossible, so it’s not like everyone gets a choice), but that is not required. What IS required by common standards of decency, at least by those devolved TV-owning normals, is that if your health allows it, you at least try to contribute something in the way of supporting yourself.

    I don’t want to internalize the “snark” here, but I have a strong reaction to this, because like Ol’ Donk over there, I too have financially comfortable, overly generous, loving and effectively ENABLING parents who have no problem supporting their adult children. And I have occasionally taken advantage of it (although at least I was never a donkey in the sense that I would not realize what a privilege that is). I am a pretty lazy spoilt asshole when it comes down to it. But even *I* still got edumacated and qualified enough to develop marketable skills and I GOT A FUCKING JOB. I am also lucky enough in that I actually enjoy what I do a lot and it brings me immense satisfaction on a regular basis, but that is not the main reason I do it. The way I see it, the main reason to work is to PAY FOR YOUR STABLE AND FOOD AND ALL THE UGLY TOO-SMALL CLOTHES AND POINTLESS TRIPS TO COSTA RICA. YOU ARE IN YOUR THIRTIES FOR FUCK’S SAKE. How are you not completely embarrassed by having Dadsers have to use nice kindergarten-y reasoning on you in hopes that you, IN YOUR THIRTIES, will understand at least a fraction of why people work and value work?? God, my canklehausen is acting up something AWFUL.

    Sorry for the wall o’text an for All The Caps. As I said, I have strong feels about this. Go fuck yourself, Donkey. You are genuinely the worst.

    • Also, that thing you’re doing with your lips in the last picture is ridiculously non-delicious.

  21. I’m confused. Is there some reason not to eat all the dates? Isn’t that what they’re FOR?

    • She is trying to point out how adorably health and yoga driven her latest persona is. What a wellness nerd, huh? Tee Hee even my one indulgence is a sweet straight from nature! In fact it happens to be the exact treat every grifter who runs a green-smoothie-based lifestyle coaching business prefers.

      It’s so pathetic because NO ONE is weighing in on this bullshit saying, “Huh, I never really thought about why I commute to my soulless job everyday. I’m pretty sure it is un-American to question that, and to stop eating processed sugar. ‘s I find my 19 daily hours spent in the television’s soothing blue glow to be quite soothing., actually. And besides. what else is there?’

      No one is giving her what she wants because she is the last, not the first but the last person, on every trendy, consumer-driven trend.

  22. I think the news she got in her email was about the book:

    Julia Allison
    55 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    From WIRED’s Adam Rogers, in LifeHacker today, on book-writing:

    “No book sells. Your book will not sell. So don’t let anyone else tell you how to write it so that it will sell, because they don’t know. And when it doesn’t sell, and you’re looking at it on your bookshelf, you want to be able to say, well, at least I wrote the book that I wanted. Because otherwise you’ll think, well, if I had written the book I wanted, maybe it would have sold.”
    Like

    • Maybe the news was, “No, Julia. In response to your last email, we are not interested in your update book concept. The book WILL NOT be a coffee table photo book of you in various frockes and tutus, with short blurbs about the magic of Avacado and drugs, no, Julia. No.”

    • I thought she had thome thuper-duper guaranteed plan from Tim Ferriss to have her book hit the NYT best seller list from day one. It was in her book propothal.

    • She can’t even bother to get the attribution right? That paragraph is preceded by: And then this, from my friend Matt Bai, on book-writing:

      • Of COURSE she quoted the wrong person. I love this Jules. I mean, she’s posting all over fb about “The Coobie Store 30 Day Challenge,” and there is no such challenge! Except Jules challenging herself! The entire challenge is can she herself do some exercise each day!

        Some people would put a post-it note on their fridge saying “stop eating, fattie, and get your ass to the gym.” A donkey has a semi-professional photo shoot of herself and slaps “30 day challenge” on the print and posts it to everyone on the internet every day for a month.

        This is crazy!! Just the challenge in and of itself is nutbars!

    • That’s BS. Books sell. Good ones. I have two little nobody friends who sold their first books to huge success. One is now on her third, while her first went to the NYT best seller list. And she wrote it while mothering two kids and working. Good books sell.

      • There’s a moral to this story, and you’ve apparently missed it. We’re talking about Julia here. Bear in mind we have many authors among us here.

  23. This Coobie thing keeps getting better.

    You know what gets worse? (Sorry if off-topic.) Messica Quirk. She Tweeted to ask what’s women’s favorite “week” of pregnancy was? Are you serious? Those of us who have things to do probably didn’t have a favorite week. In pregnancy #1, my favorite week was #5 or 6 because that’s when I voluntarily ended it via abortion (not an easy choice but it was the right one for me and I felt SO GOOD afterwards and like myself again and the stress was gone). What is wrong with Messica?

    I am surprised JA never “accidentally” became pregnant with an ex-wallet thing’s baby, like I used to think she would. I imagine one of these days she might if the money is right and she is desperate enough. Remember how she used to complain how she couldn’t take the pill or other hormones?

    • If you can tweet that back at her with outing yourself (unless you are comfortable doing so), you totally should. Messica seems to view this baby as a little bundle of content to bail out her failing blog. Can’t wait until she doesn’t have the energy to post for three months because she’s spending 24/7 as a combination feeding machine/laundry drudge.

      • I wish I could but I would out myself. I thought about getting a fake Twitter handle just for that purpose. It’s really enraging. Especially given how she struggled with fertility issues for 2+ years you would think she would have anything – anything! – else to Tweet about.

      • Semi OT: yesterday I spent several hours with a close friend and her son who will be four months old next week. The friend is one of the most energetic and capable people I have ever met, plus she has a truly blessed (TM) sunshiney personality, and the baby is healthy and all, but it’s clear that she’s really exhausted. Meanwhile, her husband (an asshole I never liked, even though I never told her, of course) is in the process of deciding whether or not he wants to leave her, which he very well might end up doing. I’m pretty torn, because I have long secretly wished for her to get rid of him, but the timing is REALLY bad. It is horrible that she has to deal with this WHILST taking care of her newborn, but on the other hand maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that the baby prevents her from spending all her time and energy on trying to figure out her asshole husband.

        So anyway, yeah. Life is hardz.

        • Anyone who threatens to leave a woman who has just given birth should be surgically prevented from ever being party to another pregnancy.

          • I agree. I always thought the guy was an asshole, but jeez.

          • Men who are self-cantered assholes to begin with often get petulant when a baby comes along because it takes the attention away from them. A good friend’s husband behaved horribly when their daughter was born. I was glad when they finally split up.

        • My BFF’s husband became a complete fiend about one minute after their daughter was born. BFF tried to make it work, but five years and another daughter later, they got a divorce.

          • My good friend had a daughter – then a stillbirth of twins – and then had another daughter. During 3rd pregnancy (the 2nd live one), her husband started disappearing, spending lots of time on “work trips”, etc. Immediately after Daughter #2 was born he disappeared for 6 WEEKS to the “work site” (a research job in Canada). Never admitted to his affair but suffice to say he was indeed having an affair with a graduate student, he filed for divorce, he still has a drinking problem, and now my friend had to return to work so that she could get health insurance and $ for their kids (even though his insurance covers their kids it no longer covers her… she always planned to be a stay at home mom, etc.). And after he was that big of a jerk she still has to trade off with visitations, with him visiting 1x/month in the US and her bringing the girls (a baby and toddler) to visit 1x/month in Canada with his 26 year old gf.

            I know life isn’t fair but so sad, my heart breaks, and yeah Messica and JA think the world revolves around them.

        • My bff and her 6 month old daughter and also stuck with a grade- asshole. At her wedding reception, all of her friends from college and I agreed to help her (emotionally, b/c she makes big bucks and is the bread winner) during their divorce. They are having drama b/c she is back to work and baby care is cutting in to his after-work activities…seriously, dude, what is your problem? She was late to our dinner out a few weeks ago. Here’s what went down… hubby picked baby from daycare and read the notes… baby took an extra-long nap and missed a feeding. SO instead of feeding his baby ASAP, he let her cry for 45 min. and work herself into a fit of absolute hunger b/c “mommy is a bad mother and works late.” My poor friend had to feed and soothe baby before packing her up and meeting me out for a much-needed girls night. GOD I HATE HIM!!!! YOU ARE AN EVIL BASTARD WHO LETS YOUR KID STARVE!!!

    • God I can’t stand women who think they’re the first bitch ever to get pregs. During my three pregnancies I worked full time to the day I went into labor. And I barfed for the first three months for each. I had no time to consider what my favorite fucking week was. If donks gets knocked up we are gonna want to kill ourselves.

      • Got up the nerve, created a new Twitter profile, and Tweeted back at Messica about my abortion. Screen grab it now because I bet she’ll delete this harrowing conversation from her Twitter feed soon enough!

        • Messica must have blocked it or reported my Tweet at spam because it’s no longer appearing on her Twitter feed even though it’s clearly on my fake one – DonnaJ_Bird

          THAT was fast!

          • This is what I had written:

            @whatiwore Week 6 b/c it’s when I chose to end my pregnancy & felt so much better afterwards. Wish you the best on yours; just diff choice.

            Will someone please call her out on this? Ridiculous! Are we only allowed to celebrate pregnancy now? Can’t we be honest as women?

          • As someone who has had a very difficult abortion, if she fucking makes any comment about abortion I will go completely apeshit on her.

            Not everyone has a wallet supporting their lazy ass, you entitled piece of shit. I’m glad I stopped following GOMI etc because there is no way in hot hell I would be able to tolerate her smug pregnant ass.

            Additionally, I hope she gets fat as a boat. Her bloated face is going to get even huger. LOL.

          • I also look forward to having a kid being a horrendously difficult experience for her, considering she is the laziest useless twat imaginable and hates having to do ANYTHING that involves work.

            ACtually refollowing this shit show might be fun…god she is the worst. I would 100% prefer to have a drink with Julia Fucking ALlison than Messica Quirk, any day of the week.

        • What the shit! Abortion Week was my favorite, too, because I didn’t want to be pregnant, give birth, or parent. I love that other people choose that, and thank them for making new people, but it is so fucking Messica to insist on an echo chamber where every pregnancy is wanted and successful.

          • my favorite week of pregnancy was jesus fucking christ when it ended

            abortion week: when the high school pot dealer paid for our friend’s abortion and i went with her to the clinic

          • Oh look. I see where my errant copy and paste went…

          • A fundie xian confided in me that when she had a late abortion for the baby not having a brain, she had to stand up in church and lie and say she lost the baby because she was afraid of being drummed out if she told the truth, that her baby had a defect incompatible with life and she chose to end the pregnancy sooner rather than carry it to term, if the baby even would have made it to term

      • i was on bed rest from month three to 8, but worked with my laptop

        it took a long long time to recover

  24. Years after first hearing of this creature and still my jaw drops at these continual antics of sheer audacity and delusional/manipulative depravity.

    How odd that #TheCoobieStore would “actually hire a non-model to pose in their gear” and yet not dress that model in their very own line of seamless leggings for the fauxtoshoot.

    PS to JABa: The Dove “Real Beauty” campaign has been around for 10 years now. Your hackneyed attempt to co-opt that copy is not only blatantly obvious but insults #TheCoobieStore. Coobie isn’t trying to play catch-up in another market by recycling an already well-established ad campaign, they have created a product for women that they believe in. Your self-appointed association with that product and attendant raging lies — aside from the crazytown implications — besmirches their honest endeavor. If it were my company, I’d be damn quick to publicly disassociate my enterprise from the taint and embarrassment of your rogue grifter campaign.

    I truly can.not. believe she posted this b.s. to #TheCoobieStore’s FB page. Does she think the other actual bloggers will be jealous that she got “hired” for a fauxtoshoot and they didn’t? Do she think #TheCoobieStore will be so impressed with her pretend campaign that they’ll hire her for real? (Worked with Wired, amiright?) Is she trying to get an actual paid job elsewhere and using this made-up one as an example of her actual “work”? The mind boggles. But mainly — as usual — it pities her latest target and wonders again at the enablers in her inner circle who actually applaud and often outright encourage this fraudulent behaviour. Frightening.

    • This. And it upsets me that she’s doing it to a company in my home town. Folks shouldn’t punish this mom and pop company for her antics. Support the home team, just out her bs. Also related, I’m licensed to practice law there, and I’d represent them in a NY minute if asked. Don’t mess with my home town.

      • The people at that company must be so utterly confused by her. She’s in direct contact with them — she spoke with them on the phone the other day and they knew her by name. No doubt in my mind she reached out to them again today in light of this post and somehow prompted them to tweet a welcome to her. I am certain she is selling them on all of the connections she has and the ways she can improve their image, see Derpin, see Avocado. I bet they are just scratching their heads over why this woman from SF is suddenly so interested in their business.

        This post is the second entry in a google search of “Julia Allison”, so, here’s hoping they don’t buy her bullshit.

  25. “Oh shit, RBD is talking about Ali Shanti too much? What crazy fucked up thing can I do to get them to talk about MEEEEEEEE again?”

    Now we know.

  26. By the way–

    IF I was Peter Booger, and
    IF I saw my e-mail posted for the world to see, and
    IF I knew that my daughter was going out of her way to avoid getting a real source of income…

    she’d be fucking cut off in a fucking heartbeat.

  27. I imagine any minute Julia will delete the sentence about being “hired as a model,” and then claim “legalese, Bunnies,” she only said this is what brand ambassadorship SHOULD be.

    But they are our memories (and screenshots), too.

    • HER WORDS: She doesn’t have the body of a “professional” model (I guess that’s what you call ‘leaving the door open’ for “non-professional model body” compliments?) & anyway, it’s “spokeswoman” that she’s meant to be. But anyway, since when does any company leave the final decision in the hooves of a non-pro as to IF the fauxtos they’re expected to pay for get used, & on top of that, which fauxtos get be used?

      With all the lying Julia Allison does, you’d think she’d be good at it by now.

      This has international grapefruit incident written all over it

      #CoobieLUV #D0nkeyLIES #TheCoobieStore #5150IsImminent

      • Now you have made me think of the Flight of the Conchords song “The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room (Part-Time Model)” and I am laughing despite hurtiness.

      • You are supposed to compliment her on how incredibly hawt her physique is for being a bonafide non-model, dammit. Non-models are normally supposed to be like her corn-fed classmates from Indiana. Or something. But you should be commenting that she’s hawt, dammit.

  28. I just hope that whenever the shafted photographer finds their way here– after invoices to Coobie for the shoot go unpaid and Julia Allison stops returning calls– that Creepy Divorced Bob is around to explain that Julia Allison will be happy to apologize for the misunderstanding and talk about a payment plan, approx 4 years after the fact.

    Bob, if you’re around, how did that payment plan work out?

  29. Do these photos make me look fat? I’m so nervous these photos make me look fat. I’m so brave to show the world how fat I am. So brave.

    Transbraytion: Everyone tell me how hot I am!

      • It’s like her hands have glutes of their own. And they’re not afraid to work them.

    • She looks average, just like she does in every photo where her face isn’t bloated by fillers or spackled into a grotesque cosmetic mask. She is average and basic and boring.

    • It must be tough for a woman who has never posted pictures of herself in hot pants at Burning man, or of herself in underwear splayed across an old man or as a stripper attending Easter service to work up the courage to pose in a jogging bra and yoga pants. So brave.

  30. Oh, Donkey. Your edit history is showing. She edited the post about being hired to un-tag the Coobie Store in the first sentence, thereby taking her post off of their page. She still says she was a hired to be their spokesperson but whatever at least now she is not directly making that claim to their face.

    She also added that the photos were done by the lovely Daniel Cohen! Who must not have facebook (by “facebook” I mean “gotten paid”) because he is not tagged. Never reads here, the donkey.

    • Her hashtag coobie posts do not result in her posts showing up on #coobie, either.

        • I mean, no doubt she is a new “brand ambassador” who sent in pretty pictures and got some free bras. That tweet sits atop a tweet about a real Coobie photo shoot and no Donkeys.

          Anyway, this is a NC-based company with a bunch of nice ladies with southern drawls in their videos, why would they need or want to pay a photog to travel to SF to snap 3 shots of a Donkey?

          I think donks may be freaking them out and they are trying to be nice.

        • And maybe one of the company’s 500 followers will be like, WUT? Mulia MALLISON??

          • Because the 30-day challenge is a figment of Julia’s own imagination! She made it up, for herself, to remind herself to work out. I have a post-it note for that.

    • And Coobie has hidden or blocked both of the Coobie Challenge posts in which Donks tagged the company. Just one silly post out of all of Julia’s posts remains on the page. Jules, shit is getting awkward, yo. Maybe let’s move up the challenge deadline to now since the company you are trying to shill for is hiding your posts.

        • Yes, I think that is the person she claims did her shoot. Despite the fact that they are fb friends and he has tweeted at her a few times, she didn’t tag him in her post claiming he did the shoot. Maybe because he didn’t do it. Maybe because he hasn’t been paid. Who knows.

        • AN ASIDE: He just retweeted Brit Morin three days ago. No real point to make on my part, but stiffing the guy his fee maybe just got a little more interesting … didn’t D0nk immediately edit a fb post by untagging Brit & Dave Morin? I wonder why that is …

          • Yeah this morning within like 5 minutes she de-tagged Dave and Brit on the “whose ass should I kiss the hardest” fb post.

  31. MIT Commencement is this Friday, bunnies! So we can expect more cray as she churns herself into scheme butter trying to show that she’s NOT the family failure!

    • Reminds me of the time Julia tried to give the false impression that she had given a talk at MIT, http://juliaallison.com/at-mit-sloan-today-2/. As if she would have any wisdom to impart on people with twice her IQ.

      If you look close though she says in the caption “At MIT Sloan today.” LEGALESE, Bunnies! I guess technically it wasn’t a lie then? 🙂

      • The Coobie people should know about this gross misrepresentation, too. So shameless that she pretended to be making a presentation at MIT when the room was completely empty. I swear, she must have a decomposing hairball for a soul. I feel sorry for anyone who hooks up with her.

  32. Another Sisyphus reference? Good lord. She still thinks the stuff you learn sophomore year in high school makes you sound smart. She is entirely stuck at 15-16 in every way except physically. She looks 45 in that photo, and really fucking said.

    Peter, I’m sorry for saying so many mean (but hilarious) things about you and Raul, but your letter to Julia really touched me. If you’re reading this, or anyone reading this has a connection to Peter IRL, GET JULIA SOME HELP. She is off. her. fucking. rocker. right now, and sending the invoice to the company is borderline psychotic behavior…suggesting she’s starting to lose the ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Peter, don’t send her any more money, please. Cancel the cards, insist she returns home, and get her into therapy.

    • You know what, that’s spot on – she is invoicing companies for things she did not get hired to accomplish.

      • And then talking about it online…”They picked me…someone with a normal body.” It’s total fantasy and I think more than a little scary. I’ve been following this stunted cunty dimwit since ’09, and this is actually one of the most unhinged things I can recall her doing. She’s done lots of mean, stupid, lazy shit before, but this I think means she’s starting to deteriorate.

      • VISUALIZE SOMEONE PAYING YOUR INVOICE FROM MAGIC RAINBOW IMAGINARY CORP INC AND ACTUALIZE BY FEELING INTO IT

  33. I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked a homeless to take those pics. I would like to think that I’m kidding, but I don’t think I am.

  34. California is filled with these older nut job women (and men) with 2% body fat and absolutely insane self-absorbed personas. And they all seem to somehow get along okay with each other – add anyone a little normal to ask a question or two and the illusion ends – usually angrily. She is gonna go kicking and screaming into the dark night of agin unemployed minstrel

  35. OT – back to TV watching – in the middle of a Rake binge. An Australian lawyer show that is awesome! Guest spots by Sam Neill, Toni Colette and moar. No yoga yet though. Sad.

    • sitcom? (love sam neill….. and toni c seem fun in a weird way….)

      • United States of Tara = Toni Collette’s Weird Fun™.

        I just love her. Fans of TC should check out Japanese Story — obscure w/ a random story-line; great sleeper, IMO.

      • Not a sitcom, a drama about a mess of a lawyer with a coke habit in love with a prostitute, friendly with ex wife, constantly fucking up and getting beaten for bad gambling debts. Each episode is him getting in the shit while defending a new person for some crazy shit. For example, Sam Neil’s character is arrested for bestiality. It’s on Netflix and it is awesome.

  36. Coobies.
    It rhymes with bewbies.
    I’m their new spokesmodel
    Don’t say I’m smoking doobies.

    I would not lie.
    Don’t say I’m high.
    I swear they hired me to wear their
    purple tie dye.

    They don’t know me?
    That cannot be.
    I’m they’re number one fan
    and I’ll make them see.

    THEY HIRED ME.
    I’M NOT CRAZY.
    WHY WON’T THEY JUST GIVE ME
    SOME FREE MONEY.

  37. I’m sure none of this is a lie:
    Julia Allison
    23 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    Who are the top couples of social media?

    Co-branded Social Media Kings & Queens – like Dave Morin & Brit Morin … or ?

    Fill in your favorite here or PM me! (It’s for a top mainstream news publication)

  38. Soooo late to this party but glad to see it unfolded predictably.

    • Wow … Billy Joel’s daughter has really been scraping the bottom of the barrel, associating with A Donkey via the Twatter … guess the lounge singer thing was a bust …?

      P.S.: I find myself … addicted to ellipses … and medjool dates …

      • Alexa Rae and Alexa Ray Joel are different people. Or is this a joke I’m not getting because of my horrendous headache? If so, I owe you a laugh (later on, when it stops hurting).

        • ’twas just a joke, and actually from the reviews I’ve read, it seems that Alexa Rae is a trouper and trying to at least assert her own identity by belting out songs using her own personal stylings. But what do I know, I didn’t hear her, only read some reviews — though I have no doubt that as a singer she runs rings around a certain other vanity-chanteuse, and her dental stylings are also more advanced.

          • I was referring to Alexa Ray Joel as a chanteuse. Not this Alexa Rae, whoever she may be [insert invisible ellipses here] … also visible ones just to be safe …

          • Damn. You know, I actually learn things here. There are so many different types of people from so many different backgrounds here.. It’s kinda cool, because I would not know any of you were it not for that tragic imbecile Julia.

            I always get curious when I see a word I don’t understand and can’t determine it’s meaning (get hooked on Phonics, kids..).. Thank Greg for Google 🙂

          • Ha! Old yeller teeth. Wonder what she’s been up to lately? Will she winning a Tony this weekend?

        • She also was on RHONJ as a date for Albie. I hate myself for knowing this.

          • Any male who allow the crew and his family to very publicaly refer to him as “Albie” on national TV needs to have his balls repossessed.

      • On my deathbed, I want to be surrounded by Medjool dates and Bach.

        Lots and lots of Bach.

  39. An old Ben Folds tune just popped up in my playlist that reminds me of Julia.. ♪♫

  40. Totally OT, but my cousin just came to visit my new house for the first time and said “it’s so tiny and cute!” I could only think of RBD.

    (Also, it really IS tiny, only 825 sqft, so this was not meant as a backhanded compliment, ha.)

  41. Y no Coobie challenge day 3?

    Nevermind it’s not 10am yet on the west coast.

    This whole thing is pretty bottom of the barrel.

    • Coobie hasn’t gotten back to me about whether the challenge is something other bloggers can get in on. This is probably because they are still trying to figure out what the “challenge” is and where it came from.

    • It’s only 9:30 am– Donk has been asleep for 3 hours, after an exhausting night of sorting through fauxtos of herself to replace the current fauxto of herself on her FB profile. Lilly has already poo’ed by the front door, and has rechecked her empty food dish for the third time.

      • It’s so sad. I was sick one time and overslept through my dog whining because he had to go out. He wound up pooing on the rug near the back door. And he was SO ASHAMED even though it was my fault. God, fuck her.

        • My dog once suddenly puked in my bed. I have never seen him so, so sorry. He actually tried to help me change the bedding. It was heartbreaking. I kept telling him it was ok, and he had this horrified expression on his cute face, watched how I was taking the sheets off, and started pawing at the bed corners to help.

          • My pom once had to take some medication that we had been warned would cause “digestive disturbances.” He seemed to be doing okay for a few days, but then one night he was sitting in front of me getting face scruffles and out of nowhere, poop appeared. Not diarrhea – just…poop. Spontaneous poop. I have never seen my pup look so extraordinarily baffled. Best WTF?! face ever. We didn’t scold him because what the heck was he supposed to do about it? He hung out in the yard for a while like he wasn’t sure he could trust himself on the carpet.

      • Remember when she was a Facebook profile picture consultant for that mortgage scammer retreat? Now she’s a fake Coozie spokesmodel. HOW DOES SHE MANAGE TO FALL ANY FURTHER? It boggles the mind. She lies about everything, it’s so exhausting.

  42. You guys know she is on the phone with Coobie weeping about the dangerous stalkers who want to punish her for having bulimia in college and who mock her real-woman knees, right?

    • To be fair, this could all be a big misunderstanding. Hackers might have hacked into something and given Julia the impression that she had been hired. Or… perhaps a well-intentioned friend who had Julia’s passwords is somehow responsible. I am sure Julia’s crack-team of attorneys including Jack McCain’s lawyer, Devin, and someone who stole letterhead from her Daddy’s office will soon get this matter sorted out.

      • HA HA HA HA. This post was emotional for me. I read the first sentence and screwed up my face with rage. Anticipated writing back to you that you are stupid. But then I read the rest and you are blissfully un-stupid and thanks for the laffs.

        • I heart the sentence, “Anticipated writing back to you that you are stupid.”

  43. #CoobieLie is one of my favorite Donkey Dramas to date. So many wonderful keywords: “hired,” “spokesperson,” and so much self-congratulated bravery. It is TO LAUGH, and I am laughing! Well done, Donkey. You have made my week with this insanity.

    • Don’t forget “photoshoot” and “model.”

      Craycray is the gift that keeps on gifting.

      • Even the word “we” … usually so bland & innocuous …

        “Thank you to The Coobie Store for actually hiring a non-model to pose in their gear. Truth be told, it was really hard to look at the raw images from the first photoshoot we did …”
        ~Julia Allison, Author at Writing Phantasmagorical Resumes

        • Right, and now she’s tagged the photog and he is COMPLETELY unaffiliated with Coobie!

    • I have to agree. I’m familiar with affiliate programs for sex toy companies (get a toy, write a review, sometime have a contest where you do a giveaway), but doing a fauxto shoot and then trying to get the company to pay for it is new heights of…improbability.

  44. Julia is awake, tagged the fauxtographer, and has entered a new phase of life. Need a job, Julia? This is so creepy. She definitely fell asleep in a puddle of her own tears and melted chocolate. I mean medjool dates.

    Julia Allison
    about an hour ago near San Francisco, CA · Edited
    Last night, I had a dream I was taking care of three ADORABLE little infants (twins and a single) under the age of 6 months and it was wonderful and confusing (this one needs a change! Now that one! Now that one! That one is crying! Now this one! Go!!!) and exhausting and glorious.

    You know you’re entering a different phase of life when you hope the new neighbors across the way have a baby so you can babysit. Ahhhh!!

    • Julia Allison I practice yoga here every day.
      21 minutes ago · Like\

      No, you do not.

      And the babies post . . . someone said yesterday that mommy Julia will light us all on fire once and for all . . . here we go.

      • Unfortunately, it won’t be possible to warn her kids that Julia has a terrible track record and may well ruin their reputations by association. That’s a terrible lesson they’ll learn on their own, one co-opted birthday party at a time.

      • Kegalese, bunnies!
        (typo stays; think ‘Kegel Exercise D0nkspeak’ portmanteau)

        She didn’t exercise today; those are the same non-Coobie leggings as all other pics from the one fauxtoshot.

        After her slip-up was pointed out the other day (that no, Coobie did *not* fauxto’d her in their bras & a competitor’s leggings), D0nk went back & edited that festifail yoga fauxto where the leggings can’t be seen, so say that she’s wearing Coobie leggings there. Uhm no, *that’s* an outright lie.

          • Ha, just realized Donkey must have been so jealous of/inspired by that Free People campaign that pissed off all the professional dancers by using a model to do faux ballet in ads for workout gear.

            The world: “Why not use one of many beautiful and skilled professional dancers? That model was at risk for injury and it is dangerous to show improperly done moves.”

            Julia Allison “OMG YES!! Dancer-ads-money-dancer ME ME MEEEE”

    • jesus christ, JA panicking about her biological clock will be even more frightening. I feel a little sorry for her. She’s going to turn even more insane and it’s not going to be pretty.

  45. Hey did anyone chat last night? I wanted to but didn’t end up being home. Is there still a chat room? Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (by Mindy Kaling)

    • Not me … I pulled a D0nkey …
      (showed up 1.5 hr late; had nothing intelligent to say; got distracted)

      • And where does one show up? I thought the link was above, but that turned out to be a transcript from the old chats. Of course I ended up reading the whole thing.

    • mcakez and Winnetka…something I was too distracted to remember and I were all in there. Date tonight? I think I can clear the cats off of the keyboard long enough to chat for a bit.

      • I might be around.

        winne was bringing the Paris knowledge! I was completely engrossed!

          • Politics, culture, nationalism, scams to avoid, etc.. She lived there for a time and it was cool getting info from someone who has more intimate knowledge than your usual tourist, and who I can trust.

            I welcome any more input from anyone who wants to share!

            Also, calling any Parisian catladies (we used to have a few, at least!) hit me up if you want to meet up for a profiterole and coffee next week!

            I also have to find Doubts Were Raised! Pearstank and I are planning to do the Jack the Ripper tour someone suggested! Hit me up if you’re seeing this, DWR.

          • DWR – donkbad at gmail!

            June 8th-June 11th, we haven’t picked one yet. Maybe you can be the deciding vote!

            Sorry for the !!! abuse, I’m just very excited!

  46. HEE HAW. Call the AP!! All of them, the entire ASSOCIATED PRESS!! Donks done lost her damn mind. HEE HAW!

    Julia Allison
    20 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    Does anyone on here know someone at the AP?
    LikeLike · Share
    8 people like this.

      • And this is the woman who is going to teach people how to “hack” cover stories. The word hack certainly comes to mind, but not the way she intended.

    • For immediate release:

      The Coobie store is over-the-moon to announce the hiring of their new spokesperson and model, Julia Allison. The sought after Allison was formerly the spokesperson for Velveeta and Sea World.

      For more on Allison, see previous release “The Home They Shared.”

    • Achieving desired response! Go donks!

      Caeli La You are not a loser! I know so many people who would say quite the opposite …. your strength and courage to deviate from the traditional path, and to have been so successful in the reality that you created entirely for yourself, is what makes you suc…See More
      12 minutes ago · Like · 1

      Stacey Morgenstern Sometimes a heart that’s destined for epic love needs to mature on it’s own before it unites with another. Trust that something wonderful and someone wonderful is on their way to you and that it’s all unfolding perfectly. You may begin to notice a shift very soon and for the rest of your life.
      a few seconds ago · Like

      • oops

        Caeli La You are not a loser! I know so many people who would say quite the opposite …. your strength and courage to deviate from the traditional path, and to have been so successful in the reality that you created entirely for yourself, is what makes you such a badass. None of those things would have actually been soul-satisfying for your unique path, which has been a beautiful, innovative story so far- one for the books… you’ve got plenty of time for babies and marriage. I think you’re winning, hard.
        12 minutes ago · Like · 1

        • Successful in the reality she has created entirely for herself. Probably unintentional, but spot on.

        • YOUR ABILITY TO KEEP DEMANDING THAT YOUR PARENTS TO SUPPORT YOU AND TO GET THEM TO KEEP PAYING YOUR BILLS SO WINNING

      • Yeah this is total bullshit. It’s true that love can be totally random and just as much about right place right time as anything, it is also a function of your actions/personality. She’s met plenty of suitors that maybe possibly could have worked out. This bullshit notion of “your true love is out there!” is bullshit. There is no fucking fate, and sometimes YOU are the problem.

        Work on yourself and your relationshit issues. That’s what normal people do, then maybe you have a chance, darling.

  47. Slight OT. Yoga teacher/personality Tara Stiles did a yoga campaign for the W Hotels. There’s an uproar about “yoga selfies” and whether they mock the practice. I came across it on FB because someone I know is active in yoga on the West Coast, studied with Rodney Yee (no, not that kind of “studied”).

    http://www.itsallyogababy.com/yoga-selfies-tara-stiles-ny-post-spark-big-ol-convo/

    ‘The yogawebs are ablaze after the New York Post published an article about yoga selfies yesterday, with much of it focusing on “yoga rebel” Tara Stiles’ recent campaign for W Hotels. She rode around New York City doing yoga poses in a glass box on a truck, with pics being shared on social media while encouraging her fans to share images of themselves using a particular hashtag. This was her way of promoting yoga, but more importantly, promoting her most recent product, a series of yoga videos she’s created for W Hotel guests.’

  48. She’s spiraling.

    Julia Allison
    2 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    Things My Little Brother Has Now Accomplished That I Have Not:

    1) Gotten married
    2) Had a (really cute) baby
    3) Graduated with his PhD

    Simultaneously proud of him … AND feeling like a loser.

    • Oh honey, we already got all this from the fact that you just announced a 30-day commitment to your own happiness and naps. Meet you in the Whole Foods date* aisle!

      (*chocolate)

      • She said that her whole family is in Boston for his graduation and she wishes she could go. As she has no other commitments, she must have financial issues with attending? No more free flier miles? Dadsers wouldn’t even pay for her to attend a family event?

        • Um, hello? Are you even paying attention? She just got hired as a very important spokesperson/model AND is writing about ex-boyfriends and the tiny & cute women they married for a major publication. There are only 24 hours in a day!

        • SugarDaddyMiles cut off her airfare?
          She’ll out him! Know anyone at AP?

          ~~~~~~~~
          KIDDING!!

        • !!

          I am legitimately surprised by her saying she wishes she could be there, because obviously she could be there if she wanted to—her parents would have paid her airfare.

          She must have boxed herself into a lie about how she couldn’t possibly go because so busy such bra spokesyogini, and now she is regretting missing free dinners and the possibility of meeting guys who have showered recently.

          • Maybe they refused to pay her way. It could be that is what all the recent “normal” talk has been about. That they’re not going to keep paying her travel expenses if she doesn’t get a “normal” life.

          • Here is her post:

            Julia Allison
            3 hours ago
            My entire family is in Boston watching my brother graduate officially from MIT with his PhD in physics. I wish I could teleport myself there.

            Sometimes I wish that we still lived in the days of families all living together in the same city. I hate being so far away from them … (but not enough to move back to Chicago!)

            I think they may have indeed refused to pay her way.

          • I am agog if they refused to pay. It’s not like they can’t afford it, and it’s not like they haven’t paid for her to do infinitely more idiotic things.

            On the other hand, maybe Britt didn’t particularly want her there, and who could blame him?

    • God, these people…

      Alexa Rae
      Congratulations to your bro! But none of those things equate success in this lifetime… We are part of the generation creating a new paradigm of following our hearts truest desires, following our bliss in whatever form that takes, and serving others while doing it. You are right on track my love winning so hard!

      • Oh jesus christ STFU.

        There is literally zero about her that is winning. NOt a single thing.

      • Oh, go fuck a cactus Alexa Rae, you drifting piece of shit.

        • Signed. What fucking asshole wrote that to her? Does Donks write her own responses affirming her horrible life choices?

          • Alexa Rae is that piece of shit former roommate of her that threw that $6500 per person bullshit Bold Academy conference that Derpin crowded the mushrooms at.

      • winning so hard

        Alexa Rae, you disillusioned idjit … you misspelled:
        spinning lies so hard

      • How is getting a Ph. D not a success? Investing years of effort in research and having it culminate in a degree seems like a pretty successful endeavor to me.

        I also think parenting a child is pretty amazing.

        And I say this as someone who consciously chose not to do either of these things herself. You don’t have to shit on other people’s accomplishments to make yourself feel better about your own, Alexa Rae.

        • You don’t have to shit on other people’s accomplishments to make yourself feel better for not having any accomplishments of your own, Alexa Rae.

          FTFY

        • God, I wish someone would copy and paste this comment into that thread on Donkey’s Facebook page.

        • Yes, and Alexa, dearie, for several years Julia’s “heart’s truest desire” was to get into Stanford or Harvard B-School, which she barely worked to achieve, and her brother achieved something vastly more difficult thanks to years of hard work — so maybe Julia has a tiny bit of insight here that you don’t have. OMG, I’m crediting Julia with insight. But also, Alexa sweetie, you appear to charge $6,500 to “teach” people who seem to be losers from wealthy families, so be glad there are people who did break their asses so that you, God’s gift to insight, can get money from their prodigal children.

      • This, in a nutshell, is Julie’s problem. She has a fleeting moment of self awareness and some asshole pops up and tells her “No, honey.. You’re just perfect and your behavior is totally responsible and adult-like.” These enablers make me sick.

        Or.. could also be that Julie was just trolling for comments like this deliberately and there was no moment of self awareness.

      • I don’t mean to get all Beauchamp or anything, but it really pisses me off that I am working and paying taxes that will one day support this “generation creating a new paradigm” of contributing nothing and having no jobs. These people are such assholes.

        • They spout off about how only the Unenlightened can be content to run desk errands all day, but they don’t mind sponging off them.

        • to be honest a far greater percentage of your money, like 99 to 1 is going to the military, the banks, etc, so some moderation in directed anger is helpful.

          moving on, she is clearly reading here and this site may actually be her only Raison d’être, which would be meta meta

      • You morons! You’re not doing anything new. Dilettante ne’er-do-wells have been lazing around, using flowery language to mooch of someone else’s dime since the beginning of time.

      • I can’t fucking believe this Alexia Rae person.

        “None of those things equate success in this lifetime…”

        A major degree, a successful relationship with a loving partner and a child? Maybe not a cure for cancer, but certainly representative of intellectual pursuit, a work ethic and an emotionally balanced life plus a commitment to take adult responsibility on. I’d call that “success.”

        “We are part of the generation creating a new paradigm of following our hearts truest desires, following our bliss in whatever form that takes, and serving others while doing it.”

        Oh, yes, I forgot. Even when Julia somehow (!!!) remembers it’s not all about her, you manage to point out that she’s correct. It’s all about you, Amber Rae, and your generation of paradigm-shitting, bliss-following, hearts’ true-desiring unwashed sociopathic cretins.

        Fuck you, you foul, parasitic loser. I hope you wind up sucking off drug mules at truck stops.

        • I hate this twat, who has the balls to write that working one’s ass off to get a Ph.D. isn’t a significant accomplishment, yet her contribution to the world consists of posting pictures of losers at various burner events. Fuck you, Alexa Rae, and the enabling burro you rode in on.

          As noted above, this might have been a come to Jesus moment for Donkey had it not been for enablers like Rae and Caeli La (real name: Marcy Gottlieb) who describes herself as “Dancer/Performer at Phutureprimitive and Mistress of Bliss at Caeli La – Ritual Dancer.” That’ll pay the bills. Wait! These amazing trustafarians transforming the world have no bills. Silly me.

          “You are not a loser! I know so many people who would say quite the opposite …. your strength and courage to deviate from the traditional path, and to have been so successful in the reality that you created entirely for yourself, is what makes you such a badass. None of those things would have actually been soul-satisfying for your unique path, which has been a beautiful, innovative story so far- one for the books… you’ve got plenty of time for babies and marriage. I think you’re winning, hard.”

        • This ‘new generation’ baloney is great. You people are almost middle aged, not nineteen. Stop.

      • FUCK OFF, Alexa Rae.

        Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ. A PhD in Physics from MIT is the EPITOME of a ‘thing’ that equates ‘success in this lifetime’.

        I seriously can not with these lunatics.

        • It’s a fantastic achievement. Plus a darling smart wife and child. Good for him, honestly and sincerely, respect.

          As to why Julia cannot be there for such an event and celebrate her brother’s achievement, she’s shovelling horse-shit, making excuses. This bitch BRAGS about how she flies all over the country (other countries are icky). How on earth can’t she take the time to be there with her family? I don’t think airfare cost is an issue. What a dick she is. What else does she have to do? She just can’t stand the focus being on someone else. Psycho.

      • Why do these people like the words paradigm and paradox so damn much? It’s overkill. Enough already!

      • Am I correct in assuming that Amber Rae and Alexa Rae are sisters, or are grifters sort of like bastard children in Game of Thrones where there are only so many surnames to choose from?

          • Very authentic how these people have all given themselves fake names. Aurora Loon, nee Katie Rozenswien. What the fuck.

    • This is actually a rare note of self-deprecation and self-doubt. SO, yay.

      However, she really needs to GTFO her marriage obsession. Christ there are many other indicators of you being a “loser.” Not being married and not having kids at 33 is not being a loser.

      And if anyone says “yeah but she fucked up so many relationshits bla de bla” fine but still, no.

      And no I am not bitter thank you. I’m not always happy to be single and childless at my post-expired age, but it does NOT make me feel like a loser. /rant. Get a job first Julia holy shit. That’s what makes you a fucking loser, among other things.

      • It doesn’t make you a loser, but it most certainly makes her a loser.

        • SEe I don’t even agree. Of all her issues being single and childless is really just the least of them imaginable. Actually what makes her a loser now and for years is her unwavering obsession with getting married.

          • her goal in life never was to get a job, have a kid, or get a phd. her goal in life was to land a wallet and get married, and she has never succeeded in doing so. it’s been the thing she has devoted the most amount of energy towards in her life.

            so, by virtue of the fact that she has not achieved her goal, a goal she has been chasing for at least 1.5 decades, that makes her a loser.

            and, jfa, you may be happy being single and childfree now, but even you have been married once! even if it was a mistake, even if it was terrible, even if you’re happy it’s over, at least you once were “mrs. jfa,” and she’s never had that. because she doesn’t judge people based upon the reality of the situation, she only judges by the glossy, slick image presented through the lens of facebook. and she can’t put her wedding photo up as her profile picture, and then recycle back to it every year on her anniversary, and the fact that she doesn’t have that moment to put out there as a measure of her success kills her.

          • @cupcake SPOT ON. being single and childless in your 30’s, whether you want that or not, is normal and doesn’t make you a bad person. but Donk has done NOTHING but try and land a wallet for her entire life, and here she sits, past the age at which she once sneered was “expired”, still running the same shitty con, trying to get some dude to spend clams to get into the clam dungeon. She has so far, failed at her only goal ever, and not because of trying, but because she can’t change or take advice.

            I find it funny in a dark way but I am kind of a mean person.

          • Well, I may have been married but I never changed my name, besides the fact that he was a spaniard and they don’t do that.

            And having been married once doesn’t make me feel better, really…except I guess I can say someone loved me enough to want to marry me. Meh.

            I mean I wanna be settled with a kid one day but, I don’t feel like those who have that are better or some shit. I have very many low key married friends and some even with kids and they just do their thing and they aren’t shitting out their every fart on FB. Those are the kinda people I can’t stand. LOOK AT MY BABBEH! LOOK AT MY WEDDING PICS EVEN 5 YEARS LATER! Sit down.

      • She always frames things in terms of the endless result. If her brother were making the list he might see it differently. She sees the wedding, the trophy baby, the prestige degree. She never ever sees the work.

        Getting married is very little about the wedding and very much about maintaining a loving and stable relationship with another person. It’s work.

        Bringing a child into the world and raising a great human being who is a good citizen of the world is a lot more than posing for pictures. It’s an incredible responsibility and yes, it’s a hell of a lot of work.

        Earning a PhD isn’t about the glory moment of accepting the degree. It took years of work to get there and prepares him to do more years of work in the world which he will do both because he has a family to support and because he wants to contribute something of value to the world.

        Julia says that play is her word for work but I don’t think she understands what work means and how it’s always a mixture of good and bad. She sees anything that is difficult or boring or repetitive or that might result in someone giving her negative feedback as best avoided.

        There are plenty of ways to work in the world, it’s a little amazing that Julia manages to avoid most (maybe all) of them.

      • Her self-deprecation is fishing for compliments from idiots telling her she’s awesome and wonderful and a paradoxigmally change- agent blah blah. Also, barely concealed seething jealousy towards her brother. Fishing for compliments from idiots is what she’s doing.

  49. The nine “likes” on this (from the likes of Hisham Abu Rezea and another name that’s in Arabic characters) are one of the drawbacks of buying fans in the ‘stans…

  50. Heads up:

    http://www.killingmycareer.com/the-sociopathic-business-model/why-i-will-never-buy-coobie-products-the-sociopathic-business-model/

    “Coobie’s marketing tactics are not one I personally align with so that’s the first flag. And, having Julia Allison, by whatever title, where fact based evidence over time has proven her words to be inconsistent and contradictroy regarding endorsements is not likely someone I would trust or look to when making consumer purchases.”

    • I like how examples of the times she has shilled for companies, then turned right around and shit on them, was included. Businesses should know what they’re getting into before hitching their wagon to a Donkey.

    • Right on.

      “Misled”, though. And yes, Donkey has misled. Misleading is one of her hobbies!

    • I kind of feel badly that somehow Coobie is framed as a bad guy in all of this – for all intents and purposes, it seems like that fucking idiot hamshackle JA pulled this story of her brand ambassadorship totally out of her ass. I know you mentioned they were transparent in soliciting likes in exchange for free bra samples (or whatever) but with the title of your post being: “Why I Will Never Buy Coobie Products” makes it seem like they did something monstrously inappropriate. Instead they just got affiliated with an inappropriate monster.

      • Yeah, I agree. Coobie didn’t do anything that tons of other companies that cater to bored blogging housewives do.

      • Just to be clear, I found that link when I went on Twitter to see if Coobie had posted anything else about JA. Seacrhed “Coobie,” and found a link the author of the above piece tweeted. I am NOT her! That quote is hers, not mine.

        I am a writer (slash spokesmodel?) but I do not ever want my name associated with JA’s in print.

      • I agree that Coobie did nothing shady and should not be punished. A good choice would be for them to tell her to enjoy her two free bras and thanks for the love but to please cease and desist using their logo and saying that she was hired.

        I find their choice to “welcome her to the team,” very odd and am hoping a tipster shows up to clarify.

        • `can’t believe Julia doubled down on the Coobie misdirection by using shots from the fauxgash00t f0r b0th her FB cover pic and profile pic. so bonkers.

      • I get (and wrote) it but I think a company also has to be responsible about who they “bosom buddy” (sorry) up with regarding marketing. I recognize it’s done all the time and not different than what a lot of companies do or have done. Part of my success has always stemmed around building a strong foundation (man bad pun not even intended this time) sorry. We all have choice and free will. Growing a business is not easy but for me respected when done with hard work and not gimmicks I carry an airport full of personal baggage on this topic and really try (although not always successfully) to bring out facts and let people determine what’s best for them.

      • I get (and wrote) it but I think a company also has to be responsible about who they “bosom buddy” (sorry) up with regarding marketing. I recognize it’s done all the time and not different than what a lot of companies do or have done. Part of my success has always stemmed around building a strong foundation (man bad pun not even intended this time) sorry. We all have choice and free will. Growing a business is not easy but for me respected when done with hard work and not gimmicks I carry an airport full of personal baggage on this topic and really try (although not always successfully) to bring out facts and let people determine what’s best for them.

        • Sorry don’t know why it double posted. But I appreciate it being posted here (thank you).

  51. I don’t comment much because I often agree with the general consensus of cat ladies and don’t feel like I have much more to add but the Coobie Boobietrap incident is just off the charts. So let me vent a little.

    1. Have you been to the Coobie FB page and seen the photos of the leggings which the models (not Donkey) are wearing with black patent high heels? Right. Because that’s every lady’s footwear of choice for working (it) out.

    2. The fact that she pretended to be hired as a spokesperson is just insane. It is one thing–although still crazy–to make up lies to get people to feel sorry for you when your man breaks up with you (ex. homeless person punched you in face) but to lie publicly about being a spokesperson while linking to the brand’s FB page is just off-the-charts nuts.

    3. Also, if you had a book deal and you were on deadline to finish your book which is filled with all different types of “experiments”, would you have the time to con a sports bra company for fauxtoshoots and spokesperson status? I think that whatever deal she managed to get has probably fallen apart.

    4. Lastly, and I wonder about this a lot, why is she keeping her writing (heh) exclusively to Facebook? She has a website that Debbie supposedly slaved over which I’m sure has some sort of blogging capability. If I somehow ended up out my current job, which involves writing, on deadline, no doubt I would resurrect my personal blog and be writing little ditties to A) keep me in practice and B) show prospective employers that I’m still writing somewhere.

    But alas, I know this Donkey better. To do writing beyond the status update box of Facebook is simply too much work. Calling Coobie to invoice them for her social media shilling is easier. #endrant.

    • Also, I think it’s because she has purchased Facebook followers and their “likes” are included in the price. So she can show potential “clients,” publisher, etc. that she is active and faux-adored on social media. Facebook is better than Twitter because she has more control over what appears on her wall. If she was more active on Twitter, and potentials were to search her name, they would see real-time feedback, and that wouldn’t be pretty.

      If she was blogging, she would have to block comments so as not to be humiliated, and she would have to show those disappointing numbers. I think it is much easier to buy Facebook friends than blog hits.

    • She had/has a lot of social media. It’s all gone to waste.

      Maybe if she spent less time crowdsourcing amongst her useless fans in the ‘stans and put it toward ego surfing and cleaning up the burned out, outdated husks of her social media, or really weeding out the real friends from the bought ones, she’d have a more effective tool/audience for her writing. Her website is so white.and pink. and 2005. Problem with Facebook’s paid model is that posts reach a fraction of your friends, so to reach them…you have to pay. With a credit card.

    • It cracks me up that donkey is portraying Coobie as a earthy, body positive, feel good brand, when their website has a totally different aesthetic. The women on the website look like fitness models with breast implants, which is fine and everything but it’s not really a great endorsement of the support of their bras. Julia was braying on Facebook about how vulnerable she felt taking non-photoshopped photos as their new spokesperson, etc., but the actual models on the website have obvious makeup and likely photoshopping. They do not have a natural aesthetic, and it’s another reason why her attempted scam was a total miscalculation.

      • “My recent joining of the Board of Commerce for Newport, RI, will see me focusing on the “back-to-the-land” aesthetic and simple hippie life this Rocky Mountain commune is famous for.”

      • Just checked out the website — is it me, or do all the models have fake boobs? To me, they all look just shy of Playboy bunny-ish…

  52. So this turd Julia posted on Facebook an ode to Lily –

    Julia Allison
    about an hour ago near San Francisco, CA
    Almost 11 years after I first met this little furball, she still delights me every day.

    I want to punch her in her Coobie.

    • The eight days a year you’re actually with her, you mean?

      Of all the things I despise Julie for, her mistreatment of that poor little dog is the worst.

  53. In my defense, having confessed I have two Coobies and wear them often, I got them at TJ Maxx. I know they are made of slave labor and plastic, and yet they serve a primitive function. #sorrynotsorry

  54. So let’s pretend that this whole thing isn’t batshit insanity and Coobie really did hire Julia Allison, real woman, as a spokesmodel and tasked her with hiring a photographer and hair/makeup team and gave her complete control over their new marketing campaign. Let’s pretend that this is true and that is how things work.

    She still did a shitty job.

    Seriously, show me the fucking bra already if that is what you are trying to sell me. Or at least tell me what the hell a “coobie” is without forcing me to read three paragraphs.

    • And she failed at her own made-up Coobie challenge after just 2 days! Day 1: 3 or 4 posts about going for a jog in a sports bra. Day 2: don’t really feel like doing it, but going for a jog in a sports bra anyway because Challenge! Day 3: give up on challenge. It is all such a mess.

      And WHY on earth would NC-based Coobie with real models who do photoshoots need to hire some non-model lady all the way across the country?? It makes no sense.

      • “Well, every day for the next 30 days I’m posting here to hold myself accountable to a daily happiness/health regime. ” nope

      • I seriously think Julia thinks changing her profile picture and cover photo counts as an entry for Day 3.

        • I seriously think Jules has cracked. In less than one week, she:

          – experienced being in literal heaven by loving herself for who she is;
          – skipped out on Gtown reunion and angrily complained directly to Gtown about its reunions;
          – tagged a bunch of her Gtown friends in a nostalgic post, at least one friend de-tagged and none liked;
          – made up a fake job and a fake challenge;
          – dreamed of babies; and
          – posted that she feels like a loser because she is unmarried, has no kids and no fancy degrees.

          That’s quite a mood swing in a short period of time. She’s in a very bad place.

        • were you reading my mind just then? It counts as a mental exercise of aesthetic and cultural creation that is transformational. Three minute workday OVER.

  55. Christ, what is her angle here? What is with this dumb posting?

    Julia Allison
    9 minutes ago near San Francisco, CA
    Does anyone know someone at The Atlantic?

  56. I have a lot of feelings about Donkey lamenting not being able to go to her brother’s commencement.

    Fuck you you fucking fuck.

    You could have just done the respectful thing and either:
    a) just said congratulations
    b) just not said anything

    But NO. You have to make it all about you! You’re sooooo sad you can’t go see baby (BABY!) brother graduate.

    Bullshit.

    bull fucking fuckity fuck fuck fucking shit.

    No.

    You cannot tell me that you have money to go to lunacy fest, whatever shit happened in Chile or whatever, whitening in a bottle, New Orleans, Maui, blipppity bloppity moo, but do not have the ability to go to see your brother get his DOCTORATE.

    Then, on top of that, you don’t have the ability to NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU FOR ONCE.

    You are seriously an incorrigibly selfish cunt. I don’t even like my extended family and they all turned up to watch me get my Masters. Even the bitchy passive aggressive caunt who told everyone I tried to commit suicide because her daughter did and she wanted to try and play it off in some nonsensical plan worthy of… well, you.

    Nope.

    You did NOT just do the whirl whore tour of smelly hippie festivals and then turn around and gee shuck shrug waaaah cry that you can’t make it to see your brother get his DOCTORATE the one time that will happen in his life? If fucking Avocado had gotten a gig pressing play on garage band in Omaha you would have been there in a tutu and plastic daisy crown, wouldn’t you?

    What excuse do you have, seriously? Did Comic Con need you to wear an upside down tiara and pose with people who make you feel socially well adjusted?

    What the FUCK is WRONG with you?

    What the actual fucking fuck?

    And now…

    Now…

    After just bailing on the whole thing with a pinkie innocently twirled to the corner of your mouth and a ‘what me?’ expression you have the fucking AUDACITY to whine?

    Can you not only not be an absolute rotting twunt for once, but you can’t not try and scam sympathy for being a festering wound on the hemorrhoidal asshole of the planet?

    I…

    I am fucking invisible ellipses

    Christ, man.

    • YUP to everything you said. Also, did you catch what she said on the pic of bro and baby, she turns into a whine fest about how she wishes it were the old days when every family member lived in the same city (?)

      And stop with the “Baby” brother shit. That’s the only thing she can hold over him, as if that makes her more mature or something. He’s a grown man who worked very hard for a long time obviously.. not a fucking 12 yr old prodigy.”Baby” brother. Just fucking say Congratulations, and move on. The well of obnoxiousness never runs dry. “Don’t worry Julia.. a PhD does not mean success…” Uh, yeah it kind of does to some extent, sorry to burst any bubbles.

      Now she’s posting some other Atlantic thing about online comments… she has been reading here hardcore obviously.

      • I haven’t seen her post, but I happened to read that article today.

        It was a funny article, and made sense.

        I can imagine what yarn she is weaving in her brain, though: “I need to get hold of someone at the Atlantic to convince them that my online bullies are the WORST. The worst! Waaah!”

        Also, maybe that is her excuse for not allowing comments on her site: it would make the cuntent dumber.

    • Mcakez, you did not shit the bed writing this comment. It was fucking GREAT.

    • This was fantastic and so right on and correct about everything. Kadooze, it was brilliant, Makez.

  57. “If fucking Avocado had gotten a gig pressing play on garage band in Omaha…”

    you are funny

    • And then immediately on the heels of sending exactly 2 tweets, she enters a media-free retreat. God, always doing it wrong. I’m their new spokesperson! Who is paying to attend a 3-day conference that won’t allow me to speak!

    • In that upside-down fauxto, one can’t help but notice that the raft of her ass creates a substantial shadow on the side of her hip, down to the waistband — I think that may be what the inevitable skirt pulls are meant to disguise …

    • I really love that particular picture, since she appears to be face-down on a manhole cover.

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