Donks Didn’t Go To Her 10-Year College Reunion Because It Sucks, Not Because She’s a Wackaloon Miserable Failure

Georgetown CheerleadLook! Julia Allison did a very un-Julia thing by acting like a petulant hosebeast:

Screen shot 2014-05-31 at 3.32.29 PMThis appeared on the Georgetown University Class of 2004 Reunion Facebook page where absolutely no one gave a shit. Anyway, sorry Hoyas! Donks couldn’t grift airfare and a hotel, and has absolutely nothing to brag about, unless you consider dancing in a diaper for her DJ boyfriend while every one ignores her because they are tripping their balls off something that is worth bragging about.

For those of us who should be ashamed of ourselves because we’ve been around long enough to remember, Donks WOULD NOT SHUT UP about her five-year reunion where she took the top prize in keg fellatio.

NB8YioMLio4l6t96iLoJjswZHere’s a hilarious interview from back when she thought she was the hottest of shit instead of the cold, wet turd that she is.

 

190 COMMENTS

    • Seriously. Just don’t go and go about your day with nary a mention. Why announce it to the world that you are so above it? (Answer: Because she isn’t. AND BECAUSE SHE’S AN ASSHOLE.)

      • There isn’t a lot of LOVE and LIGHT in her FB whine, but there is a significant amount of “OMG, can you see me Bear Kittay?! Can you see ME?! I love cocks (sweaty) and rainbows (on onesies)?! Won’t you handfist me?!”

        No, Julia. No, he won’t.

  1. I also love that her fb page currently paints her to be a complete trainwreck loon — how long before she sanitizes the grifter hippie aspect out of it a la a few weeks ago when she was preparing some all-important speeth no one ever heard of again?

    I hope the admin of the Gtown reunion fb page clicked on la Donka’s profile after receiving the notification re her post and laughed and laughed and laughed.

    • Trust me, everyone laughed and laughed. No one at Georgetown has ever been more loathed than university embarrassment Julia Allison, who barely attended classes and barely graduated, and only did so because of constant, and I do mean constant, intervention from the dean’s office.

      Just think, Kristin Thorne, also in the above snap, has a solid job and a family and seems relatively happy. Her last FB post was a picture of her grandmother, who now suffers from Alzheimer’s, seated next to her grandfather, who was in a hospital bed and is seriously ill. Kristin made the post all about her grandparents and not about herself. Take a page from that playbook, Donkey.

      • JFAing myself to note that there’s no way in hell a culturally illiterate donkey and such a horrible writer would ever have gotten into Princeton. But Julia knows this, as does everyone who knew her at Georgetown.

        • But but but she wallet hunted at reunions with dadsers which is the same as having been admitted! See also MIT and podiums, generally. Podia? Who cares.

          Also. Princeton and Burning Man had never before been in the same sentence.

        • I always imagine her crying as envelope after envelope of rejection letters from all the fancy schools came, dinging her. Because you KNOW she applied to them all, and she ended up an Indiana. Which only makes one wonder what her HS grades and SAT scores were. Yes I’m being AFF now, it’s just delicious to me to think about what a goddamn dimwit she is after having been given every privilege in the world. How many people do people know who have such advantages, such obviously smart people in their family, and STILL cannot get into any fancy schools?

          LOL! God she is an embarrassment. What’s also funny is she has been trotting out the G-town credential since she graduated to prove she is OMG SO SMART. And now she shits all over it. Stupid bitch.

          • And let’s all not forget the debacle of a business school application experience, where she announced multiple times she was applying to Harvard, clearly think she was going to get in. LOL!

            When my friends set goals, about grad school, careers what have you, they tend to meet them. Because I am not friends with losers.

          • Oh that business school claptrap! As if anyone from Georgetown would write her a letter of recommendation and put their own reputation at risk. “But the GMAT is so hard for girls!”

          • I think she thought she’d get in based on her credentials running her own business LOL! Remember that Bigthink interview or whatever it was called and she name drops going to visit the Harvard B-School and all the students knew her work and were like “why do you want to go here?”

            That never happened of course. NO students had fucks to give. I love it, she has no history of being academically inclined, but not only did she think she could get in, she thought she’d able to hack it there.

            Julia Allison, 3rd generation Stanford legacy, sister to a PhD from MIT and a Princeton and Yale educated lawyer, fails to get into a good B-School. So many lols.

      • I am getting a soft spot for Thorney. She’s so dense, but she shows up with her half-assed stupidity in a spirit of goodwill. She’s like the Little Drummer Boy; all she has to offer is her dumb, but she does it gladly.

        • Yeah, I just can’t say a mean thing about her anymore. Thorney works very hard at a job that often has long & strange hours and clearly loves her husband and is trying to be a good stepmom.

          I do wonder if she caught any flak from Julia and/or Debbie re: the breakup of the greatest love affair that the world has ever known. One thing’s probably for certain: Thorney won’t be introducing Transformational Festival Julia to any of her single male friends.

  2. How sad she has to insult and demean others down to make herself feel better.

    • Right? Doesn’t she have any bills to pa… Hahahahahahaha… Nevermind.

  3. Ha, that interview is hilarious. i love 2008-2009 Julia. so, so high on herself.

    • Those were the salad days, weren’t they? Now it’s just the word salad days.

      • Oooh* — I just re-read and finally interpreted. You are the clever..

        *speaking of which, the juncture of where ooh meets woo is rich for contemplation, but without access to Donkey’s hilariously hysterical (!) “Ooh-ooh, Child” rooftop lipdub from that ’09 reunion, I am unable to delve further. Is it available anywhere?

        • From”Anthony & Cleopatra”. Cleo is musing on her choice of shitty boyfriends in the past: “My salad days – when I was green in judgment, cold in blood.”

          Usually thought to mean “happy innocent youth” but actually intended by Cleo to convey “naive stupidity.”

          • I learned something new. I just thought it was a thing white people said.

          • That is authentically cool to know- it’s Shakespeare? Wow. I always thought it was meant to represent the first course of a meal, or something, the beginning of a dinner at the feast of life, or something. Thanks for the knowledge, RRR. Fascinating.

        • And Donkey misused (“per usual,” as she would say) the term salad days in one of her ridiculous ruminations about her youth. The Professor could pull this out of her hat, along with the Oooh, Child video, in two seconds, but she is in Germany, or somewhere, researching nanobiology, or something. Miss you, Prof!

          • I’m reminded of the TMI video where Julia Allison, pathological liar, said that she used to buy groceries & cook for her ex all the time … when MareMare BeachHair pressed her for deets. Floundering D0nkey floundered & then brayed that she “cooked salad”.

    • The comments to that article are a must-read. She hops in (of course she hops in) and admits to the grapefruit incident but is like, that was SOOO loooong ago, who CARES that I lied and pretended to be with the Post and then lied AGAIN and said I’d actually said I was with the Hoya! LIAR, gah.

      • Wow you’re right. Her wading into the comments there is classic sociopath Julia.

      • Senses of humor are fun. You should try getting one.
        ~Julia Allison Baugher, least funny person ever

  4. Fashion Week? Should be more like Burning Man. College reunion? Could learn something from Burning Man. Vegetable stew? Needs more Burning Man!
    Burning Man, Burning Man, Burning Man! Have you heard of Burning Man? Because Julia A Donkey Allison has totally been. Burning Man is her life. Don’t run away, Avocado! Donkey loves Burning Man… err you… whatever.

    • My brother is like this. He is OBSESSED with going on cruises. He goes once an year. And the rest of the year, he won’t shut up about cruises. I finally had to ask him in my dickwad way whether or not he had anything else interesting going on in his life. And he replied that his next cruise is in November.

      • I went on my first cruise this year and I met some people like that. Some of them claimed to do multiple cruises per year. I mean it was fun and stuff, but I don’t get the obsession.

        • I used to work with a bunch of ladies who looooooooved cruises. They all liked to eat and to dress up and to dance, and their husbands either enjoyed or tolerated these activities, so they were either showing you pictures from their last cruise or planning their next cruise.

          I hate buffets, and the huscat hates boats and dressing up and dancing, so it is not our preferred vacation choice. I would like to go on an Alaska cruise, though, because icebergs.

          • A friend of mine (also ambivalent about cruises) did this and counts it as one of her best times ever.

          • Oh, Grifty! I am so sorry! My mom also died on vacation, in another country, & dealings w/ the State Dep’t from the get-go & subsequently the following six mo’s made for a very bizarre situation, not to mention the delayed grieving process. My saving grace rationalization is that she was getting to do what she’d always said she wanted to do before she died, & I hope that you & yours found a similar peace w/ it all.

      • Does he know how many motherfuckers go missing on cruises every year, and the cruise lines just pretend it didn’t happen?

        The answer is ‘hella.’ Hella motherfuckers.

        • I would never go on a cruise. Basically if you are on international waters, there is no clear rule of law. I’ve seen too many “48 hours” episodes about this shit. Stuck on a cruise in the caribbean with a murderous sociopath? I will opt out of being in that unlikely but still possible scenario. Also, people tend to get hella sick on them way, way often. And god the idea of being stuck on a boat with a bunch of terrible people, no. I don’t get the fucking cruise thing. It’s such a thing everyone always did growing up on LI, and i try not to emulate most people from LI.

          • I’ve said this very thing every time the idea of a cruise has come up. Why on earth would I ever put myself in that kind of situation? In order to eat from a trough and sleep in a closet? Non.

          • Okay, this is like the fifth time you’ve mentioned this show, but I’m not familiar. Is it just called 48 Hours? I looked it up on AMZ Prime but come up with ‘First 48’ and Dateline Mysteries. Is it one of those?

            I am kind of obsessed with missing persons cases. I watched all of the episodes of Disappeared on Netflix. I go through phases where I jump from case to case on websleuths looking up all I can on whatever case catches my interest. It’s all the Nancy Drew and Encyclopedia Browns I read as a kid.

          • Also, my weird existential obsession with the fact that unfortunate things happen randomly to people every day. I like to think it keeps me grounded, rather than just a manifestation of anxiety. Whateves.

          • Yes, it’s called 48 hours. CBS. Friday nights, I believe. Like 20/20 only all crime.

        • If i were not too lazy I would look up links to articles about stories I’ve seen about cruise murders. And you are right, it happens fairly often. And it’s always a shitshow because how do you investigate a murder in the middle of a fucking cruise? And who is responsible for doing so? Etc.

          • I once did a story on cruise deaths and while cruises didn’t really appeal to me before, now they’re a never. People are always dying on cruise ships, so there’s a small morgue on board every ship. And when/if they run out of room, they store the bodies in the freezer with the food. They don’t just pull into the nearest port if someone croaks–you need to wait til the next scheduled stop. No, thank you.

          • Ugh wonk. Also wasn’t there one not so long ago where the sewage system broke and upchucked sewage all over the deck or something? Something gross ugh don’t make me look it up. Also there was one where like a buncha people got some sort of food borne illness. That’s just where I wanna be stuck when I get food poisoning. ON a boat.

          • I am also obsessed. One of my favorites ever is the honeymoon/scuba diving murder. It haunts me.

          • Which one is that??? There is a scuba diving one I remember, but the couple were older…like middle aged. no seriously i’ve seen like every episode of “48 Hours Mystery” and “48 Hours Hard Evidence” and then “Dateline” the ones that cover murder mysteries. I had to stop DVR’ing “Dateline on OWN” because I had seen them all.

            Which case are you talking about, wanna see!

          • Oops, yeah it was Dateline. I think it originally aired a few years before this updated one. But oh, there are updates.
            http://www.nbcnews.com/video/dateline/42041139#42041139

            You have GOT to see the photo.

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Tina_Watson
            “Lifetime produced a made-for-TV movie, Fatal Honeymoon, based on the death of Tina Watson, starring Harvey Keitel, Billy Miller and Amber Clayton.”

            Harvey Keitel does Lifetime movies? There goes my evening…

      • I’ve been on one cruise years ago, with Majestic. I’d need a really good reason to go on another one, like penguins down in the Galapagos Islands.

        • I’m surprised no one has brought up David Foster Wallace. It’s because of you cat ladies that I read ‘A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again.’

    • Cheesy Skillets? Needs more Burning Man!

      I’m thinking this is ALL ABOUT Bear Kittay [who also has the most ridiculous name of all of these hippie shits]. Scheming Donks is always scheming.

    • This. She’s always a day late and a dollar fucking stupid.

      Does anyone actually think BM is cool? Was it ever? She’s been braying about it for how many years now? God just STFU.

      She’s like a 14 year old discovering OMG LOLLAPALOOZA!!!! I was like that, except my excuse was I was fucking 14 at the time.

      • This is just like when I saw Rent for the first time… when I was 18.

        Also, “a day late and a dollar fucking stupid” I’m stealing that.

        • Haha, I can’t even think about “Rent” without thinking about the “Team America” version. “everyone has AIDS!!!! AIDS AIDS AIDS! MY MOTHER, AIDS! MY SISTER, AIDS!!!!” I watched that scene not to long ago.

          Feel free to use it! love and light.

          • I keep that soundtrack in my glove compartment for those moments when I need some cheering up. Fuck yea!

          • I assumed you were riffing on the original. If not, “a dollar stupid” (which Donkey certainly is) deserves to enter the RBD lexicon in perpetuity across the universe (a la “Never the Donkey” and similar serendipitous mutations.)

  5. Single-childless-with-no-career-Julia could show her face at a 10-year college reunion.

    • No husband, no prestigious job, just smelly hippie grifter shit…it’s no wonder she’s bailed.

  6. Such bullshit. (Sorry.) My sister in law just got back from her Georgetown reunion, and we had long chat about how cool it was, and all the cool women who go there, and what an amazing school it is, and how lucky she was to have gone there. She even called her mother and thanked her for sending her there, when she got home.

    But then again, my SIL has a normal life with, like, a job and a husband and two children and everything — she is not a GRIFTER!

    • I went to my 10th and 20th college reunions. After each reunion, I called my parents to thank them for letting me go to such an amazing school (for me; maybe it was not the best school as far as career direction, but THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO! WHO CARES? and also on me, not the school). Many of my closest friends come from this time in my life.

      At both reunions I happened to be a single and unemployed person. It happens, and I landed on my feet, and I didn’t sofa-surf in order to get to reunion. It wouldn’t occur to me to slag off the whole school/class I graduated with if I couldn’t have made it. I just would not have gone.

    • You’d think the retarded child of an academically gifted family would have realized by now she had no business being there anyway after failing out of Indiana U., and maybe she would STFU about it, or at least not be condescending to people who actually belong there.

  7. I, for one, think it’s very sweet of Julia to provide constructive criticism directly to the custodians and organizers of her college reunions. I mean you could just sit back and watch some poor fools suffer through another boring reunion, or you could actually stand up and try to make a difference, you know? #hero #makingadifference

    • Nice. They could always hire her as a personal branding consultant in the future.

      Julia Allison, Georgetown Grad (just barely! Thanks Dadsers!)

  8. From that Georgetown comment, it appears that this “un-Julia” character has relinquished her grasp of the use of the (common) comma to concentrate on her new-found find, the exotic ellipsis.

  9. My god she is a heinous piece of shit. Can any of you imagine being such a fucking wet blanked and not just that but fucking POSTING IT ON THE WALL of the school you attended?

    Oh honey, no. From what we all understand, you were universally reviled at that school. Zero fucks were given about you and your non-attendance. Also SHUT UP ABOUT BURNING MAN.

    Can you just, I don’t know, hide your seething jealousy and rage for five seconds? Also “writing” lol. Sure you were. You’re SUCH A WRITER. Everyone at G-town with real careers are SO JELLIES.

    Fuck you.

    • Hi! I am Julia! I talk about myself in the 3rd person, pretend I am better than everyone else (I am not), shit on institutions of higher learning I had no business of attending in the first place, and am generally a complete fucking bitch.

      She sucks so hard.

  10. girl has no tact. no matter what persona she is adopting, this remains a constant. tacky, rude as fuck, and always seething with jealousy. shut the fuck up and go sit in your corner ‘writing’ and eating your amys canned chili.

  11. Everyone should definitely read the comments to that linked interview. Christ.

    “And speaking of getting the facts straight, since we’re discussing it, I absolutely DID – inaccurately – say I was from the Washington Post while being obnoxious at the front desk of the Mondrian in LA, but it wasn’t to get out of a bill for grapefruit. It was just to complain about how much they were charging for them.”

    She is amazing. I’m just wondering WTF is the difference between trying to get out of paying for something and just complaining about the high price of something. Pretty sure they are both the same fucking things?

    She’s a chillingly sociopathic individual. I love her response to that one dude who is clearly pointing out fact. “I have done 150 COLUMNS since then and 350 TV APPEARANCES.” How’s that career going now, asshole?

    My god, There is literally not a single likable thing about her. “Oh I probably did tell the editor at the Hoya my dog would pee on his paper. But I did NOT get fired for plagiarism. Instead I had a massive fit! Tee hee!” It’s really sad when you have to explain away one allegation of horrible behavior by pointing to other horrible behavior. So you didn’t get fired for plagiarism. You got fired for being a hose beast. Well glad that is settled! Way to set the record straight!

    I feel sorry for her family. They are stuck with her for life.

    • I know, JFA, I was riveted by those comments of hers. She basically admitted to all the horrible behavior she was being accused of, but with a shitty attitude to boot. SOCIOPATH.

    • THOSE BAD THINGS NUH UH BESIDES IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO THESE OTHER THINGS WERE BAD BUT I OWN THEM BECAUSE TEE HEE

  12. I love being home alone and not going to parties! I love it so much I have to tell you about it every time I do it! Love love love! Being home, so much love! God I love my life. I love it so much I have to post a bitchy screed on the G-town FB page. No one can possibly love their life as much as I love my life. Why hang out with a bunch of non-life loving assholes?

  13. Wow, 5 years since the Bolt Bus freakout. Time flies when you watch a fame whore sliding into obscurity.

    • The Bolt Bus freakout! Between this and i.just.can’t!’s mention of Amy’s Canned Chili, I’m suddenly feeling all nostalgic. *cue the rhinestone cry-off*

    • I was thinking about the Bolt Bus incident the other day, when she posted her bullshit peach-and-love “please return my shitty coat to its home” plea on facebook. When she wrote that, she was trying SO HARD not to be the rage-filled bitch that is her true character. Back in the Bolt Bus days, she let that rage flag fly.

      • And what, two-ish years since the LA supermarket parking lot freakout on a mom with kids in the car?

        My favorite imaginary non-freakout will always be “I LITERALLY got punched in the face by a homeless man…. everyone’s got their shizz.”

      • Oh, I bet that raging beast will emerge the second she spots some dirty hippie wearing her filthy coat at some random event. I’m betting the person who made off with her custom carcass was high as a kite and has no clue as to how or where they scored it, so I could totally see this happening. I would kill to see that.

    • This is the third time I’ve stopped by this page today and every time I get to this comment, I laugh until I cry my damn rhinestones off. 9 word life story!

    • I’m sure he wakes up everyday next to his lovely wife and barely even remembers that freak show he dated for less than six months.

  14. I assume she wasn’t home writing the chapter on: “Getting married in 20 different places (Requires marriage proposal from boyfriend!Hopefully coming soon! The idea behind this experiment is to find out whether getting married without expectations – say, in Vegas – makes you happier than getting married with quite a few expectations – say, in a formal church wedding. We’ll try them all! P.S.This was actually – shockingly – not my idea, but my boyfriend’s. We’ll see if he followsthrough on it. Ha!)”

  15. She didn’t go because 5 years ago she was braying about her impending sale of NS for FU$ and her journalis skillz.

    Kinda hard to go from that to being the 1 woman caravan following a trance DJ up and down the west coast like a low-rent Deadhead convoy.

    And the book deal might as well not exist as I’m sure half her class has them and have published too.

  16. Wow, Shantitown just posted a photo of her ex husband and her daughter. My understanding is that he’s a recovering/relapsing alcoholic. He looks like he’s been through a lot of rough times.

    • Oh dear. She just posted photos of women attending the chocolate body painting session at this weekend’s Business Priestess Retreat. It looks as though they’ve rubbed dog shit all over their faces. I’m not making this up. The secret to making 35k/mo revealed!

      • JFAing myself to say JP or Jacy, you’ve got to do a post on these photos!

        • I considered it, but there wasn’t a pic of ChocoShanti and I didn’t want to post a picture of a rando gullible, shit-covered hippie.

        • So this is how Shantitown’s making the big bucks. I’d just assumed she and Filek were dealing drugs. Seriously.

        • Who do you think you are?! That feces painting session was conducted by Emma Clare Juniper, nee Jolean Miller, founder of Love Your Life Guide and Alchemyst-cofounder-ceo at Kejiwa. As always, I’m not making this up.

          These transparent grifters all refer to themselves as alchemists, which sucks because Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist is my favorite Renaissance revenge tragedy and now the work has been permanently tainted by the woo.

          • The pictures from that event and the entire situation is just SAD DOT COM. It’s like 10 middle aged plain women with fake names gathering behind a laptop . . . wait a minute . . . THEY are CAT LADIEZZZZZ!!!!

          • Alchemists were an early form of grifters; nevertheless they left behind a fascinating cultural history and related artifacts (I really, really have always wanted an alembic, just for decorative purposes) unlike the Transformative Festival crowd, who will leave nothing behind but cried-off rhinestones and a whiff of stale patchouli.

        • Many months ago, I called her out on the business priestess thing on Twitter, saying how business priestess was not a thing, and her response to me was, “Well, there was a time when a publicist wasn’t a thing.”

          You got me, Ali Shitty. You got me.

  17. FROM MULIA MALLISON’S DONKSTAGRAM:

    juliaallison | 4 months ago | Kelly Writers House
    #365grateful – 35 – happiness is a juicy discussion about journalism, feminism & sexuality at a college campus with fellow advocates.

    How telling — Julia Allison Baugher isn’t at all happy to go on Georgetown’s college campus & have a juicy discussion of milestones & accomplishments, or in her case, lack of both, w/ fellow graduates who know her for the reviled hosebeast of a fail whale that she is. Uhm, er,oops?

    Pretty sure that her snide dig was for Davidiot’s benefit anyway — she wants / needs badly for him to buy into the notion that she’s thumbing her many noses at the man & going against her milk toast upbringing when in reality, she’s a broke as fuck joke who doesn’t have the nerve to show her busted face there, even if she could afford a hotel & some fashionable, age-appropriate new clothes.

    • This reminded me of the “juicy discussion about journalism, feminism & sexuality,” Julia Allison once had with Rachel Sklar (I think? I am lazy), in which Julia Allison attempted to call out Obama Girl on the internet for using her sexuality and Julia’s friend Sklar was all STFU you sucked cigar, limbs all akimbo for Gawker.

      Paraphrasing!

  18. Doesn’t she have some weddings coming up this summer? Billows? Wonder if she’ll drag Avacado along.

  19. In addition to Wae Win Khaing and assorted fans from the ‘stans who have no relationship to Georgetown, David Block and Ali Shanti have liked Julia’s shitty post on her alma mater’s 2004 alum page. Take note, Donkey: GU prides itself on having the lowest attrition rate in the country. Would any other institution have put up with your bullshit and actually allowed you to graduate? You’re welcome.

  20. Ruh Roh. Jules got in trouble with momzers last night.

    Julia Allison
    38 minutes ago
    My mom talked a lot about “normal” on our phone call last night (as in “what will ‘normal’ people think of this crazy festival culture? How will ‘normal’ people be able to go? What if they have ‘normal’ lives with ‘normal’ jobs, with ‘normal’ hours and ‘normal’ clothes?”)

    In response, here is what a friend of mine posted about being “normal.”

    I hope I am never normal.

    (The good news? At this point, I don’t think “normal” is in the cards for me.)

    She posted something about how dumbz it is to have a job and go to work. Look, Donkey, the joke is not on us. YOU are the joke. I take pride in having the job I have, and I actually fucking contribute to society in connection with doing said job. I help people, yo. I don’t just go to work so that I can afford my nice house and my nice car. Although I do enjoy my nice house and nice car that I EARNED. If everyone just sat on their asses like you do the world would grind to a fucking halt. There would be no one making your pretty pretty tutus or your stupid costumes. UGH you petulant child you are 33 years old. Grow the fuck up.

    • And as stupid as those festivals appear to me, clearly people put a lot of WORK into putting them together. If nobody every got off their ass, there would be no festivals for a Donkey to prance around at, either. Jules, honey, you are like the only person even among your stupid new friends who is not WORKING. Your avocado is “working” on his music thing. Shantitown are “working” to part poor unassuming victims from their hard earned cash. You just show up and flail around in a dirty leotard. Even among your new friends you are a fucking loser. GET OFF MY LAWN.

    • Nevermind fucking doctors and all of the tech people Donks used to try to bang. Are they all stupid losers, too Donks? What about people who work to provide for their dependents, like 33-year-old braying Donkeys? You stupid, selfish bitch. The very reason you are able to bray around all day on your fucking computer that someone with a job built and offered to you for sale is because YOUR DAD PUT ON BIDNESS CLOTHES AND DROVE HIS SORRY ASS TO WORK EVERY DAY.

    • Or would you rather be like your friends Ali and Craig and live in the “new economy”? Because both of those assholes are fucking bankrupt and desperately grifting to provide for their several children.

    • “I hope I am never normal.”

      This is 2014. Don’t even sixth graders realize that this is THE lamest, most pathetic, least original defence used by double-digit-IQ tools desperately trying to look unique? Sit down, honey.

      I mean, wow. A “friend of yours” posted this? “I hope I am never normal.” Let’s let this sink in, people. I am in awe of “friend’s” supreme devastating wit. It’s like, you’re “friends” with Oscar Wilde, Donks. This is pure groundbreaking brilliance in action. You sure told Momsers! Bah, normals.

    • Here’s a dose of reality, Jules. Your looks are fading, and fast. Your dad can’t support you forever. You’re never gonna make any money off of your terrible “writing.” One day, you are going to be 50 years old, the money from your parents will have long dried up, and you are either going to be putting on a Wendy’s uniform and slogging off to flip burgers in order to pay your utilities or you are going to be sucking the teat of some sorry ass fat bald guy who decided to take you on as a charity case in a low-rent subdivision in some sad corner of the earth where no one has ever even heard of “Wired” magazine. Rather than insulting “normals” like the wallets you hunt, you should be praising their sweet asses for doing what you are unable and/or unwilling to do in the hope that one of them may finally decide to put a ring on it. But they won’t.

      • Or maybe you’ll file for bankruptcy after failing at grifting and then you’re really gonna be fucked because you’ll have no job history and no credit and wow, good luck with that.

        • Can’t file bankrupcty on Daddy’s credit cards. What are the chances that Donkey even has credit? She’s never paid for anything on her own.

      • This MAD MEN moment comes to mind …

        Emile, re: Mulia Mallison dressed for festival:
        “Dad$er, one day your little girl will
        spread her enormous legs and fly away.”

        http://tinyurl.com/SomeoneMarryThisDonkeyAlready

        Just kidding! TeeHeeHAW! You’re every bit as stuck w/ her as her sequoias are stuck wide open, Dad$er.

    • She truly loves the fact she’s a parasite and missing that her mom is calling her a parasite. Julia is not like others yet because she’s still being funded. The minute the funding stops (and this call sounds like a warm up) we’ll see an entirely different side to her. I’ve often felt her family fears her and sends money just to avoid conflict. Does anyone really know how the grandmother died? Has there ever been doubt from her family?

    • Christ, what an asshole.

      This part:
      ““what will ‘normal’ people think of this crazy festival culture? How will ‘normal’ people be able to go?”

      Means that when Momsers asked what the h-e-l-l she is doing “dancing” on a pile of plywood instead of working on her book, Julia not only gushed about how she had found HAPPINESS at these festivals (and sure prob true love, why not), but she also explained that she planned to do the very essential work (her word is “play!” teehee!) of bringing this very revolutionary and esoteric subculture amazballsness to the unenlightened masses, thus becoming famous author/muse/Oprah AND LITERALLY changing the world, which is, by the way, more important than whatever baby brother wrote on that white board presentation.

      Momsers questions indicate a failure to believe most people would find this all lifechanging.

      But a whole ‘nother level of rage/humor is how offensive the idea is that Julia discovered festival bullshit must be to longtime Burning Man people, hippies, etc.

      This is supreme, five-star, terror-threat level orange, Julia Allison haterade. This is why people can’t stand you Julia. This. Overwrought social media humbleblergs you try so hard to hone as to seem thso thspecial!! Snowflake, I can feel your brian smugly smirking through the screen. And as if it’s not enough that you OMG discovered Burning Man like Madonna OMG discovered Kaballah* you have to try to make your mom seem square and out of touch, which she is paying your bills.

      Well done, Julesies, well done.

      “Kaballah: an ancient form of publicity invented by Madonna.” Tina Fey (yes?)

      “Burning Man: a publicity event for ballerina Julia Allison’s newest persona.”– Dusty Documentary Series

      • *while* she is paying your bills, not “which.”

        Sorry, I threw a tantrum like Julia Allison being presented with a grapefruit bill.

        …And… I just spent like 8 minutes searching for and failing to find the clip from Broad City in which a very stoned Abbi, has a tantrum in the mailbox place. “wasteful,” “who are you, Joe six-pack?” Then she punches out the cardboard guy. Anyone with me? That imaginary clip is kind kind of what my brain did when it read Julia’s thso cute and thso thspecial Burning Man/Momsers post.

        I mean, surely we’ve talked about Broad City around here…?

        • I think I compared the hippie cuddle puddle to Abbi rolling all over the room trying to get away from Alana’s wandering hand at one point. As in: that would be me. I don’t recall. I know I brought it up though because it is the best.

    • 5:15pm (about an hour ago)
      “Black Rock City is a place.
      Burning Man is an experience.
      Being a “Burner” is a way of being in the world.

      We are not limited to living Burning Man culture by a physical location anchored to a certain time and a particular place. We live our lives more expressively wherever we are — and whenever we connect with one another we make this happen. Burning Man happens year-round. It’s a deep artesian well with channels flowing out from it. It is a movable feast that might happen anywhere, at any time.

      Burning Man is YOU, wherever you may be.”
      Photo: “Black Rock City is a place. Burning Man is an experience. Being a “Burner” is a way of being in the world. We are not limited to living Burning Man culture by a physical location anchored to a certain time and a particular place. We live our lives more expressively wherever we are — and whenever we connect with one another we make this happen. Burning Man happens year-round. It’s a deep artesian well with channels flowing out from it. It is a movable feast that might happen anywhere, at any time. Burning Man is YOU, wherever you may be.”

      [Picture of her on the playa, big white boots, sparkly green costume]

      35 people like this.
      Ken Bellanca Great shot. It kinda looks like you lost your baton…
      5:19pm (about an hour ago) · LikeReply
      Ken Bellanca Also, please consider sharing whatever it is you’re smoking. I love the new you… ;>)
      5:22pm (about an hour ago) · Like · 1Reply
      Rebecca Jean ^ Ken, you can experience your own journey, sans smoke, by joining in at a transformative festival or better yet, burning man. It’s all from within.
      5:30pm (about an hour ago) · Like · 2Reply
      Rebecca Jean And everyone is welcome
      5:31pm (about an hour ago) · Like · 2Reply
      Julia Allison No smoking here. No alcohol. No caffeine. Just love. And … well … some chocolate chips. oops?

      • Nope, don’t believe it, liar, nope. You are high as shit in most of your recent photos, Jules. LIAR.

      • 1. Julia, I am not accusing you of plagiarism; I see you put this in quotations, but you are tryin’ to be an author at book. You call yourself a professional writer and journalist. And when describing the culture that has transformed your life and whatnot, the best you can do is copy and paste from the festivals homepage?
        http://www.burningman.com/blackrockcity_yearround/

        2. The photo of you in green? Not a transformational moment synergistically captured in pixels. Simply an angle that makes you look skinny. And that is why you posted it.

        • “Being a Burner is a way of being in the world.” Is calling out your college class for throwing reunions that “suck” “being a burner?”

          Is lying about dragging your dog to morning fauxga “being a burner?”

          Is doing a horrific reality TV show on Bravo “being a burner?” Is that de-commercialized behavior?

          Burners are not gonna like the idea of Donks as their spokesperson. This should be good.

          • Being a Burner means being “radically self-sufficient”
            Being a Burner means hating the fact that Julia Allison has now glommed onto Burning Man

            You’re a poseur, Donkey. A newbie. A dilettante. Nobody finds you authentic. You are what will make Burning Man jump the shark.

        • That’s not that great of an angle. Her raft ass looks like it’s deflating there.

  21. Was she really a cheerleader or was this just another costume she tried out to look thexy?

    • It wathn’t thexy for thuh poleethwoman in front of thuh Gawker offith.

    • I’m gonna guess she signed up to be a cheerleader, as part of a plan to nab a specific football player or sugar daddy with specific kink, hung around until picture day, got put on gameday probation for skipping practice, lost interest anyway when she met an OMG politician, never returned uniform or paid bill for it, then called Dadsers crying, days before graduation, when she got a mailed notice stating no diploma, no walk, no cap and gown, until she paid the cheer uniform bill plus interest. Dadsers sent check. Julia spent check and cried to administration saying cheer coach gave her bulimia.

      Just a hunch.

      • I’m sure this is it, or else I’d imaged we’d have heard all the cheerleading stories. And at the college level it’s not usually easy to make the squad but I could see her getting a uniform for try outs (and what you’ve said Dusty-zero follow through and dad$er$ piking up the tab). We’ve seen what she thinks that qualifies as dancing-um no way.

    • She was really a cheerleader, but I think not on the main actually-athletic stunt-doing cheerleader squad, but a “stand around and yell” type. Jack will clarify, I assume.

  22. I really do believe that Donkey’s next persona will be devout Christian. Of course it will begin when she meets a wallet with deep feelings about Christ our Lord. Then the crazy train will gain momentum when she visits a mega-church and sees the crowd go wild. She will wrangle a speaking gig at one of those churches with rock bands and Starbucks, dust off the dusty Easter kinderwhore outfit and say some nonsense about All of the Girls. She will then reclaim her virginity and Facebook psalms and passive-agressive forgiveness for Mary Rambin, Nick Denton, Cindy McCain and the Bravo producers that led her astray. She will probably try to start a charity. She will definitely sign up for a trip to build houses in Africa and then post last minute photos of herself, with a thermometer in mouth and gold cross on neck (“… my beloved Grandmother’s who is now with Jesus, Amen.”), crowdsourcing for a doctor, (“would prefer a man of faith…”) and get sympathy from fans in the ‘stans when she posts the bad news that the doctor says she is too sick to travel.

    Guess what? God has forgiven all her sins, because, as Jesus said, “That was like three months ago. Nobody cares ;)”

    After all, who has more followers and sells more books? Ali Shanti or Marianne Williamson? Look forward to baptism selfies in the white one-piece from Randi’s crashed bachelorette party.

    • I have friends in Houston. I would PAY to see her at Joel Osteen’s place. Who knows? Might be next. xo

      • I used to work at Chuy’s at Westheimer and Kirby. The Joel Osteen church-goers were the WORST and they always came in packs of 30.

  23. All of tonight’s frantic justification of BM and “Burner Culture,” including yet another post on the matter linking to this wut? blog piece: http://solpurpose.com/2013/04/25/transformational-festivals-are-a-symptom-of-dissociation/ is meant as a “fuck you” to all of her Gtown classmates suddenly made aware of her fb presence in light of her “fuck you” to them. Julia, you are not helping yourself out here. You’re just providing people with more reasons to point and laugh.

      • “Festivals transcend the economy,” says Burning Man spokesmodel and professional dancer, Julia Allison, who hired someone to take care of her transportation, food, and probably personal wet-wiping needs for her stay at the festival.
        When asked for comment on whether she had indeed ever paid that bill, Allison went on to say, “Exactly!!! I transcended the economy (So, no.)” Adds Allison, “You have to mention the tutu company that sponsored my OMG anti-consumerism cuteness tent. They are LITERALLY going to take me to court if I don’t get their company written about by serious journalists in dozens of major media outlets, as promised in my contract. Oh and hey? Do you know anyone who like books designers for New York fashion week? Because I also said I’d get the tutu company a show in the tents. Crowdsourcing!”

      • Does ‘transcends the economy’ sound to anyone else to be the closest / only-est thing her bloaty hooves could grasp to counter Mom$er’s likely warning that D0nkey’s allowance is in dire straits if she doesn’t quit wasting Dad$er’s hard-earned $$ on skanola costumes & dusty goddess fauxtoshoots?

    • Transformational festivals are a symptom of disposable incomes, all-age access to Forever 21 hot pants and the simple facts that 1) humans have always and will always like to dance outside in nice weather (this is not new!) and 2) there is no accounting for taste.

      Julia, can you ever just feel free to relax and enjoy something you enjoy without posting 1,0000 ingratiating photos of yourself in your latest authenticity costume, announcing you found it FIRST (last!), and making a desperate attempt to be the spokes-model of it? Seriously girl, what the fuck is wrong with you?

      • the dad of a friend of my kitten is a professional musician who is on tour with his band for festival season, and for him it’s just like xmas for retail

      • You are really on fire.

        For once I am too tired and too dispirited to even express rage. It’s all too much.

  24. I first learned of JA in the Gawker years (I live in NYC and we had acquaintances in common). At first, I could not believe that this b**ch was for real. Since then, I have been passively watching this shit-show with my jaw on the ground (and of course, loving the witty comments). However, her behavior these last few months is just appalling. I know I’m not saying anything new, but I feel like this is the closest I can get to grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. She makes writers, yogis, and women look bad. I have been doing yoga for many years, but there is not a single photograph of me in a yoga pose. Yoga is not about looking hot in your bra. It’s about breathing and peace. I’m not psyched about my 30+ body these days, but that’s why I DON’T TAKE HALF-NAKED PHOTOS OF MYSELF AND PLASTER THEM ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!$(*&#(*%&. Sorry. That’s been boiling up inside me for wayyyyy too long. Cheerio.

    • There’s a great Facebook group/blog page called Yoga & Body Image. They’ve been taking on the exclusively white, heteronormative, pin-thin representations of yoga in western media/social networking. I recommend this group highly if anyone is interested.

  25. Just realized I commented on an old thread. ss, sf. My rage was blinding me!

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