Julia Allison Endorses The Marginalization and Sexual Exploitation Of Women With This Monstrosity

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This is old, just like Julia Allison, but, eh, you people need a new post. So help Julia Allison, feminist for all womynkind, decide her Halloween costume.

Screen shot 2013-10-26 at 9.11.05 PM

 

Should she dress up in this incomprehensible hot mess that calls for maximum trowled-on spackle, including bonus breast spackle?

Corpse-Countess-Costume-1084

 

Or should she dress as a CEO of the Cupcake Kingdom’s most profitable street corner?

No

 

Or should she just forego a costume all together and just go as herself?

31G4WZZZRNL

 

You decide, bunnies! Momma needs her $7.50 in Yandy bucks.

224 COMMENTS

  1. lol @ “CEO of the Cupcake Kingdom’s “. She will totally choose that fucking mess. What a waste of money she doesn’t have.

    • Rita: Maybe it’s time I got a new start. Besides the offered me a really good job at Starbucks here. I’m gonna be a CEO.

      Joe: At Starbucks?

      Rita: Yeah.

      Joe: Yeah? You’re still gonna paint though, right?

      Rita: Yeah. Sure.

          • [img]http://blog.juliaallison.com/Images/Julia%20Allison%20News%20Corp%20Holiday%20Party.jpg[/img]

          • I… I… I… I don’t even know what to say. Why??? How??? Does she think, “I’ll shorten the bodice so it’s 4 inches long, and then hunch over to fit into it; and I’ll wear black tights and clodhoppers because I hate my legs. All tied up in a satin [polyester] bow!”

            She’s about as elegant and stylish as that bland, fake white tree and the pile of fiberfill that’s lumped beneath it. White, bland, tacky, and zero effort.

        • Serious!y-Cheap dress made cheaper still by misuse of black tights. There is no hope. She would be a stylist’s nightmare.

          • The thing is, say what you will, but she has a cute body. She could look amazing! Play up your best assets and minimize your worst. Right? She’s got great tits, a small waist. Play them up girl!

            But hiding the bow legs in the Vue Opaque Tights? That is something I would’ve done when I was 13. And even then I had a sense it was wrong.

            And speaking of minimizing your worst features, why does Mary Rambin insist on wearing clothes that make her look like a linebacker with dem big old shoulders? I get it, you’re well built. But I recently say a photo of her in this cream silk bias-cut dress and I just thought it looked awful. Again, a tall pretty chick with an amazing bod, but she doesn’t know how to dress it. But what do I know. Fat, obese, cat lady and all.

          • The boobs are chicken cutlets. Without them, they’re not that fabulous or “perfectly symmetrical”. The opaque tights are awful enough when paired with matching awful black shoes in the white polyester froque, but when paired with the PINK shoes and PINK dress with boobs/chicken cutlets pushed up to her chin, they look even worse.

            I literally cannot imagine anyone else thinking that is a good look. She loves to make a spectacle of herself. Donkey: people are not looking at you because you’re fab, they’re looking at you because you look demented.
            Yes, she could look good if she dressed appropriately for her shape and drastically reduced the spackle and fake hair, and threw out all of her tacky jewellery. But she lacks the self-awareness to critically examine herself to do this. Her distorted body image and image in general are so incredibly different from how she actually looks. She will never hit the learn button.

  2. She can absolutely do nothing on her own.
    ‘Hey people-I’m about to take a shit. Should I use 4 or 5 sheets, charmin or northern, wipe front to back or back to front? Hurry, I’m waiting to hear from all of my loyal subjects’

  3. I vote she goes with the last option..

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/uZ8uF2V.png[/img]

    • What about that pic of her in some Elvira dress, with slits on the sleeves, and that pretty much showed her coochie?

      • [img]https://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/elvira.jpg[/img]
        Unpleasant dreams, darling…

        • Those raggedy-ass fishnet stockings & the matted wiglet of fake pelts on Julia Allison Baugher are lulz for dayz, never mind the escort service out call fauxto that must make Mom$er & Dad$er soooo proud of la burra!

          • You know, it’s shit like this and the condom fairy costume (esp. the picture of her sticking her ass at the camera) and the Gawker fauxtoshoot when she was in her underwear, sitting on some random old man’s lap with her legs spread to the camera… that I wonder where the fuck Dad$er was. I mean, if he was so concerned about her “professional reputation” that he harassed people who expressed support for freedom of speech, why the fuck didn’t he care about the damage she inflicts on her psycho self?

          • “Wallet Thing, I got all vamped up for you! Let’s take some photos. No, not with your camera, with my camera! Wallet Thing, no, don’t ask him to take a pic of us, just take a pic of me. I’ll sit in the chair. Ready? Show me so I can see how it came out. Let’s try another!” etc.

          • Tween girls and expirey women in the midst of a mid life crises. No front, my first webcam purchase happened to coincide with my 30’s “ZOMG, I’M GETTING OLD” moment and I’m not proud of the results of that combo. The fact that she’s been doing it for like over a decade, however, is just bizarre.

            I have respect for trolling with bewbs, but she ain’t doing that. I have respect for women who don’t have a perfect model figure but love their bodies anyway and display them with a fuck y’all kindof bravado, but she ain’t doing that either. She claims to be and seems to really think she IS a perfect size 4.

            Generally I’m not really down for body snark or for saying shit about anyone’s personal style. But she’s the exception because it’s her. She has no depth and no self awareness.

            If she wore the pelts with some kindof rockabilly wanna be Betty Page smirk and nod, they might even be cool. Same with the pretty Disney princess on crack schtick (maybe). Or the Donna Reed bs from the Pancakes era. But she has no idea how to make it cool. She’s just a spoiled rich girl trying to construct a personality out of props.

          • “She’s just a spoiled rich girl trying to construct a personality out of props.”

            THIS! THISSITY THIS THIS!

          • She claims to be and seems to really think she IS a perfect size 4.

            Really??? Does she still make this ridiculous claim?!

  4. TL;DR Julia Allison buys fake followers, Alexis Neely also buys fake followers; Lewis Howe is followed by some of the same fake followers as Julia Allison & Alexis Neely.

    Okay, so I was looking at Julia Allison’d fans in the ‘stans fake-followers list (up around more than 6,000+ in the last few days) & noticed that one of ’em started following Lewis Howes & Alexis Neely also … kind of makes ya wonder which grifter seminar they all attended in which Julia Allison convinced them that purchasing fake followers was a good idea …

    Anyhoo, I noticed a frightening trend on Alexis Neely’s Twitter that convinces me she’s springing for fake followers, a whopping 3-4 at a time …

    Three followers joined at the same time (15-ish hrs ago); all are eggheads (no profile pics); all type their usernames in all caps (LONNIE JACKSON; SHANE BAILEY; HENRY ALEXANDER); & their tweet counts, all made only in the 1st hour, are: 91, 90 & 85, respectively.

    Basically the exact same applies to three followers Alexis Neely also picked up on October 25th: WESLEY CRAWFORD; KENNETH HOWARD & BOB HILL.

    And same applies to the four followers of Sept’ 29th: RON HOWARD (41 tweets / one day only); HARRY HILL (47 tweets / one day only); ANDRE WALKER (49 tweets / one day only); MATHEW DUNCAN (60 tweets / one day only).

    And same applies to four followers on Sept’ 28th, excepting that two have added profile pics, & so on, & so on … Note how many male names have female pics, another tell.

    • Girl, for all the time you spend monitoring donkey’s twitter followers I think you should look into some of the more advanced statistical tools out there. This is pretty cool: http://www.tweetstats.com/graphs/juliaallison

      I really doubt that Donk is actively buying followers each day. The adjustments that occur are probably bots being discovered and banned, and new ones that take the place of the old ones. But we really don’t know how the scheme works, do we? You should go undercover and investigate buying twitter followers and see how much they cost and what the deal is when you buy them. I’m genuinely curious.

      • Individual transactions per day? Nah, I don’t think that either — I imagine it as some catch & release program, lol, like: however many $, for X amt of fake followers, to be delivered by such & such date (all to the choosing of whomever is buying) — it does not appear that D0nkey & Alexis have the same deal(er), just that they both buy. MHO, anyway.

        BTW … nobody expects the ‘Stanish Interrogation!

  5. Yo! Wasn’t it was this time two years ago when a Bravo film crew began following Julia Allison around, even though she wasn’t invited to any parties & had no where to go in her Quean of Farts slutoween dragstume?

    [img]http://s8.postimg.org/duq2zdy11/huge_raft_ass.png[/img]

    How pearipathetic will this year’s slutoween be when she has nowhere to go in SF?

    • The guy looks like he’s trying to (unsuccessfully) slither away and she’s acting like they’re having a really good time. As evidenced by her gaping maw.

    • The platform boots, my God. Are you secretly lusting to be a goth kid, Donk? Huh? Because I know the stores that sell those boots and they cater exclusively to the Cybergoth community. What would Momsers and Dadsers say?

      • Seriously, those are the most unpractical, useless pair of shoes ever. Made by exploited slave babies, cost over $100, environmentally destructive and worn maybe twice. Such a fucking waste on every level. Those are tranny boots.

        • You normally only see them from places like VampireFreaks or Hot Topic, which is why I said that. I could understand if she were a musician or a performer, but she’s not. There’s no need for someone to wear ankle destroyers unless they have to.

          • I was a Goth in the late 80’s-ear. 90’s. Buying non conformity prepackaged in a bright, shiny box from a chain store at the mall = doinitrong. Poor Ghoulia.

          • I was a goth from 2000 to 2007 ish. You’re absolutely right, I preferred one of a kind stuff, handmade. Weird?

        • Can you imagine the amplified clomping noise she would make in those…clompers?
          Also, was that her face just 2 yrs ago? Wow, I mean really, WOW. Time has not been kind to our Donkey.

          p.s. pet peeve of mine: don’t leave your bright red lipstick mark all over your glass, especially if you don’t move it out of frame for hundreds of pointless fauxtos.

          p.p.s And yes, that guy does look like he’s trying to escape, but Donkey has the death grip on him.

    • It honestly boggles my mind how she is able to put so much makeup on. When i can see your blush from 20 feet away it’s probably too much. Those boots. Gross. i can’t.

      • The whole point of makeup–minus eye shadow–is to look like you aren’t wearing any. Donkey missed the memo. Again.

  6. Rainbow Pimp, because Debbie already has the matching silver lamé Rent-a-Gimp outfit and who doesn’t love a couple in matching themed costumes?

  7. Does anyone have any idea how big of an advance a book like Donkey’s would fetch? I know there are a lot of literary types on here and I’ve always been curious about how this market works..

    • When the advance is over $50K, the agent generally includes the “deal code” in the announcement in Publishers Marketplace. The announcement of Julie’s Happiness Book sale did not include a “deal code,” so my guess is that it was less than $50K. $20-30K would be my ballpark estimate. Pink Palatian and Handbag and others might have better ideas.

      Remember, too, that the usual terms of a book advance are one-third on signing, one-third when the completed manuscript is turned in, one-third when the book goes to press. She is not rolling in cash no matter what the advance was!

      • Thanks. That is.. not a lot to live on in SF. Especially after taxes and agent fees. I guess I’m just fascinated by the grifter lifestyle. San Francisco is unbelievably expensive.

        • If Yandy is giving out gift cards, she needs to start hoarding them now so she can sell them later to pay her gas bill.

  8. OT to Operation OB in Effect: Another RBDer and I are close friends in real life, and we often talk about the agony of cutting our borderline mothers out of our daily lives. My own mother, for instance, is so great in many ways, but if I or my siblings take a step in the wrong direction (the direction that threatens her most wounded inner life) she goes completely nuts and not only attacks us directly, she defames us to everyone we know in common. It’s astonishing. Like you, I have many children to protect. I’m sorry I missed your original post, but I do hope you do what’s best for you and your kids, and put the drama with your mother on a very back burner. Deal with it last. Take care of everything else, and get to it when you can. Avoid her until then. Your own family is the one that matters.

    • This man, this. Fuck her and her cunty attitude. It’s ok to call your mom a fucking bitch (even when you are no longer a teen). You gotta be honest with yourself, right? Life is so short, don’t let some asshole drag you down into their frothy pit of angst, at least not if you have better options! Take proactive measures like, instead of not answering the phone each time she calls, get a phone app that will block her number altogether so you won’t even SEE when she calls. Write a snail mail letter outlining your reasons for divorcing yourself from her and send it. Tell her she isn’t welcome unless invited, and she is going to have to shape up if she wants an invite. Don’t ever forget– you are the one holding all the power. You have yourself and your children, things she desperately needs to feel relevant. You don’t need her, she needs you. Work the situation with your head held high. Recruit a friend to help you stand tall if you need to. Yr a grown ass woman, not a child. Tell her to fuck off, you are sick of her shit. It will feel joyous.

    • Thank you all so much. You have no idea how much your words helped me.

      I moved out yesterday! And it’s been tough. She’s undertaken a campaign of calling everyone and telling them how I have abandoned her, etc. Accusing me of stealing things from her (I took nothing, literally starting from scratch), and much more. I am aware that since I am no longer under her physical control, this is the only thing she can do. I have told her I will block her completely from my life if she doesn’t change, so we will see.

      But I do feel so much better. It’s scary, yes. But I look at my kids, who are ecstatic, and I just feel so GOOD. They all brought their friends over today…something that wasn’t possible before.

      You cat bitches are the absolute best. Really.

      • It might be a little bit scary, but I think the joy far outweighs the fear, does it not?

        Glad we could help, hon, you deserve all the happiness in the world! Just brush that dirt off your shoulders, don’t let her get to you.

      • I cut off my Borderline mother 5 years ago. It was the best decision of my life. It’s still very difficult not having a mom, even though she’s still alive, but you have made the best decision for you and your kids. Sending many positive thoughts your way!

        • Thanks guys! It’s been good. She’s been calling and texting the kittens a lot. Telling them we abandoned her, calling them traitors and co-conspirators (!!???). I’ve asked my brother to intervene as I will no longer take her calls and I have blocked her from calling my kittens.

          It’s just so awful. And no one understands, so I have no one to talk to. Unless you’ve lived with a Borderline parent, you just don’t get it. Even my brother doesn’t see it…as he wasn’t her target. I’m evil to him as well. I wonder if my mom will now target my brother. Who knows. All I know is today was day 2…tonight is my third sleep!

          You guys are DA BEST.

          • Congrats on moving out. You sound so relieved and happier and that’s wonderful to hear.
            It’s been a couple of days since your post. Hope you are settling in OK. Did you and your kittehs have time to do anything for Halloween? Whatever you did, wishing you ongoing happiness and success.

            And you’re right; those other cat-bitches on here are awesome!

          • Hang in there! Sounds like mom is loosing it 🙁 She’s supposed to be (along wiht you) an adult in this situation. Obviously she can’t deal and is being reduced to acting like a child. Stay strong!

      • That’s awesome! Stay strong… seeing your kids happy, healthy and functional and knowing you are providing a better, more stable life for them is what makes it all worth it. They will be better for it.

        I know how much it hurts to have your mom badmouth you to other friends and relatives. Because I’ve limited contact and am focusing on my healthy family and no longer engage in her drama or tell her anything, my mom is convinced I am in an unhappy marriage and my husband is terrible and is happy to tell everyone we know about it. She then tells me, “You’ve changed. He’s changed you. EVERYONE is worried about you, Shamoolia.” It’s sick. But don’t feel like you need to run around doing damage control. Just focus on your health. Rooting for you!!

  9. Loonnnnng time reader back in the £ era- only come out to comment once every few years. I’m surprised no one here has remembered how hard donks crapped on twitter when it was first starting out– I believe she and Meg’s went to pay the guys a visit and she publicly shamed the co. This week they go public… #neverforget

  10. Guys I haven’t been commenting in a while because Donkey has been so boring… but I have some questions about dealing with a loved one with an alcohol problem :/ RBD’ers in recovery or married/dating/family member of someone in recovery, please chime in!

    My darling huscat is great in so many ways, but his drinking has been steadily rising to problem status over the past few years. He drinks to deal with anger/sadness, and has always had so many ways to explain it away – “it’s only at home” “it’s only beer” “I need to relax, my boss is an asshole and my life is stressful” “I only drive drunk once in a while, I promise to never do it again” “I’m not mean when I’m drunk, you’re just being sensitive”, etc.

    Recently there was a very bad incident involving his drinking, and he came extraordinarily close to losing his job over it. He’s started going to meetings, but is hesitant to go more than twice a week (“It’s too emotionally draining, I’m tired after work,” etc). I’m so glad he’s finally decided to get help – he denied having a problem before and his problem drinking became normalized to me, and now I realize how steadily worse the situation was becoming.

    One of the issues I’m having as a spouse of someone in recovery is what to do about our family/social life. Every one of my immediate family members has an alcohol problem in some way, but I’ve never been a drinker- a few cocktails maybe once a month, but no more than that, ever.

    However, all of our friends who live nearby are in their mid-to-late twenties, and alcohol is still a big part of the social scene, even though I rarely partake very much. (My very close friends from high school, who also don’t drink very much, have moved to different parts of the country, and my grad school friends live about an hour away- they’re the friends closest to us/that we see most often). My husband is struggling with not being able to drink beer with his buddies any more, or go out to the bars with my friends and their boyfriends any more.

    Additionally, we’re very close to my parents, and my dad (who has his own alcohol issues) would always take us out for a cocktails. He would also take my husband to baseball games or fishing trips for bonding, which were always drunken occasions. Family get-togethers and holidays are always heavily lubricated with booze. My husband feels uneasy going to these alcohol-laden events, but what do we do? Not show up for Thanksgiving and Christmas? We know everyone will be drunk, and he’s going to feel weird.

    So my questions are, and I appreciate any helpful words,
    1) What’s the best way to support a spouse in recovery?
    2) What do we do about our relationships with heavy drinking friends? They’re all wonderful people, but every social occasion is a drunken one.
    3) What do we do about alcohol-heavy family events and holidays?

    • Maybe this can help?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEimCQvsHEY&feature=c4-overview&list=UUE2aO2h43T3BMggSZdX0CBw

      It sounds like you are surrounded with a lot of people with similar problems. They say that when you are sober with your drinking buddies, all of the sudden you don’t like them so much. Totally ask for support to your friends and family: a fun life is possible without alcohol in the picture. Maybe you can find new things to do with your dad, like go to movies, walks, car rides. I am being cheesy here, but you get the point.

      Try to find new friends, friends with healthier lifestyles, friends you can love and you can also admire.

      We start shifting from our lives (towards TV, internet, drugs, alcohol) because we are avoiding to see our lives with open eyes in the first place. We hide away from fears, regrets, shame… Make sure you guys address these issues. Seek the help of a therapist for him, but also for you. A good therapist will, in a short period of time, in a technical way, give you new perspectives and provide you with tools to deal with the problems you are facing now, and the ones you might discover.

      Congratulations on your brave hubby, and on your supporting, loving self 🙂

      • ditto this comment!
        you probably need new friends and new activities and that’s scary and hard but also very rewarding

        a lifetime ago – I had an ex who was a raging alcoholic. I was not supportive of his desire to change and resented him trying to force me to give up my lifestyle which was involved a lot of going out and drinking. I did not understand the hold alcoholism has on a person. I am still ashamed of that to this day (he did not end up in a good place either). Thank you for standing by him, too.

      • Thanks! My husband has other issues (namely, anger and depression). I come from a social work background, and I know that CBT would be AMAZINGLY helpful for him… we start getting health coverage in January, so this is on the priority list!

        • I will say this even though I fear the cat ladies will mock me to no end. But, if it helps you, it’s super worth it.

          First, try to get therapy for you too, and also, try to squeeze in some couples sessions. You are immerse in an environment full of alcohol too, in your own words.

          Also, Flower essences have helped me SO much, to overcome depression, eating disorders, a pattern of self-destructing relationships, and finally, cutting strings with my mother (JIML and evil asshole, who, i.e., threw my daddy’s ashes through the drain to sell the container, nevermind she had plenty of resources at the time, well into middle upper class lifestyle).

          At worst, flower essences are just water, a placebo, and at best they might actually help him.

          A good mix to recover from addictions is:
          Rescue remedy, Self Heal, Morning Glory, Golden Yarrow, Agrimony, Heather.

          You can add Holly (for anger), and Chicory (for depression).

          I add flower essences in my boycat’s water bottle every morning and he makes sure he refills it many times every day before it runs out. He kinda loves it.

          They are preserved in brandy, so you make sure to mix it in plenty of water in the minimum active dose (2 drops each, except Rescue remedy, which calls for 4).

          This particular alternative therapy has really helped me change my life. If it can help you too: amazing!

          Ok, I’m ready cat ladies. Commence the mockery!

          • Thanks to my future huscat, I’m now a big believer in alternative/homeopathic therapies. If it works for you, it stands to reason that it might work for other people. Mine happens to be a big believer in the um, herbal, therapies, especially for pain. The point is, no mockery for non-traditional therapies. I think it’s awesome that you had something different to share.

    • Hoof to Greg, is he going to mtgs just 2x a week only as a condition to keeping his job, or is it by actual choice?

      If it’s (already) by choice, or soon becomes by choice, it won’t be surprising for him to become more reliant on meetings for support, & sometimes even for immediate refuge, so one thing you could do is find meeting locations / times near each of the family events — I say that while recalling how my alkie bro could drive my recovering sis from a family get-together like a well-executed exorcism & how many times a meeting or at least a ph call w/ her sponsor was her only saving grace in moments of weakness — having Plans A, B, etc., in regards to remaining in control is sometimes the difference between one day at a time or just one hour at a time, cuz family dynamics, Whoa.

      • Meetings are by choice, which is a great start! I’m very supportive of him, but as someone NOT in recovery, I don’t have all the answers and I keep telling him that he will find friends in meetings who have a lot more answers on triggers, etc. that I don’t! I hope he comes to realize this and see them less as a chore and more as a good thing 🙂

    • You should check out al-anon. It helped me tremendously (alkie cat-huz here). Keep visits with heavy drinkers brief. The most disheartening thing I noticed is that when he finally quit drinking, his heavy drinking friends really felt threatened. Like his quitting was an indictment on their lifestyle. And they sort of tried to bully him into drinking, so that’s really something to watch out for. “Oh, you don’t REALLY have a problem—just have a beer.” Seriously. I couldn’t believe how many people pulled that shit on him. He’s at the point now where he just says he’s allergic to liquor—it makes him break out in handcuffs. If your man can have a sense of humor about it—and a stronger support system than begrudgingly going to a meeting a couple times a week—he’s going to have a much better chance of staying sober. But for you, al-anon. Also therapy has been a godsend for both of us. Albeit a pricey one.

    • As someone who hopes to die drunk and stoned I’m afraid I can’t help you with this one.

      I had family members who had drinking problems and were mean fucking bitches whenever they went off on a toot. After years of support from us they went and got themselves wrung out. Then we found out they’re mean fucking bitches stone cold sober too.

      • A friends mom was a horrible person who survived her first round of cancer and lived for along time after that. It didn’t make her a nicer person. No redemption grace nothing.

    • As far as helping him? You can’t really. Best you can do is take care of yourself and try not to hurt him. If this is your husband’s first year of recovery, he needs to be very gentle with and protective of himself. No. It’s not fair that so many social situations in our society revolve around alcohol, but that’s the world sober alkies live in and we gotta learn to deal with it. Hell, the founders/old school AA types always kept a bottle around the house both as a test and to help out protegees suffering from the dt’s. But the first year? Go easy. Even now I only visit my parent’s house early in the day for a coupla hours on holidays before my mom’s had a chance to get really tanked. First year? Try meeting for breakfast/brunch at a neutral location. Real friends will understand, drinking buddies will lose touch. First year? Don’t get into situations that revolve around watching other people drink. Invite your friends to sober outings. Mini golf. Bowling. If they start drinking? Call it a day/night. W/out recriminations. Eventually this will not be necessary. I can hang out with people at bars while they drink w/out any problem other than boredom. But first year? It’s an unnecessary temptation. Most important part of early recovery? Find new ways to fill the time you used to spend using. Eventually won’t need it, but it’s a good idear initially. I took a lot of baths. Read a lot of trashy novels. Good luck to both of you. I quit drinking in Dec. 1993. Still think about it occasionally, but no worries it all gets better as long as you don’t do it again. And eventually you only think about it occasionally. Peace. < 3

      • And just FTR about meetings. Limit the number of leads after the first coupla mos.. They just war stories. 12 step meetings are the best. Then Big Book studies. Not everyone needs the same number of meetings so don’t wallow in meetings guilt either for missing one or two or needing too many.

    • I’ve never had a problem with booze, but I do have two stomach disorders that have prevented me from drinking hard alcohol for the past 5 or so years and, most recently, has forced me to temporarily abstain from all alcohol. I know it’s not the same, but I too am in the midst of my late twenties, when most social events revolve around drinking. I deal with my situation by having a canned 2-3 line explanation about why I can’t drink, and people are cool about it.

      It’ll be far easier for you to be completely up front with your family and friends going forward, especially if they seem to suffer from their own vices. Sneaking around is not going to cut it. Because you have similar issues within your social circle, you will have to be sure to focus on your husband’s own personal relationship with booze and refrain from demonizing booze itself, otherwise they’ll feel attacked and defensive. As long as they see that it’s an issue that you and your husband are dealing with on your own, and that you don’t expect them to change their behaviors, they hopefully won’t react too negatively.

      Hope that helps.

  11. Since there has been so much recovery talk…..

    I am an opiate addict, and I went through detox in July. It was voluntary and the fucking hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve taken and abused opiates off and on for 10 years. I’ve been clean for just over 3 months and plan to stay that way. You basically have to get to know yourself all over again with a clear mind. And you see your life and yourself as they really are. Wonderful and also scary.

    If anyone wants to talk about opiate recovery, I’m game. I’ve been blogging about it, too. Contact me if you want to chat or if you want the url to my blog. I don’t wanna spam people. paintorange at gmail

    • Actually, I’ve been around here forever and you guys know I wouldn’t spam you. If reading my blog brings comfort to one or two people, it’s totally worth it. There are others out there going through the same things you are.

      opiateadd dot blogspot dot com

      • I like your writing style, I like your blog. I cried for your dad. Amazing how Joe flipped a switch just. like. that.

        Thank you for sharing.
        Thank you for recovering.

        • Thank you, Brayella. It was strange to me how Joe could make such a change so quickly. But I’ve a feeling that his guilt had been festering for a while.

          So, thank you for bearing witness to my story.

        • Absolutely. Congratulations on the recovery and for being brave enough to share your experiences. xoxo

        • I adore all of you cat peeps and thank you so much for seeing this. The blog has been very private – only shared with three close friends. But now that so many of you wonderful cat ladies and gents have visited, I feel really fortunate. You are all so smart and strong and we’re all from different backgrounds. And I keep being amazed at the kindness I find here.

          I’ve opened up comments so please do feel free to write comments. Criticize me, or share your story of addiction or of loving someone with addiction. These are
          important things. XOXO – PWS

      • Thanks for the link to your blog. Over the years I’ve *joked* about how whenever I got an Rx for surgery, or that wonderful cough syrup, I would hold it up to the heavens and say it was the closest I would get to God.
        Someone must be watching out for me because I could for real see me having a HUGE issue with opiates. I say this because when I reflect on the dozen or so times in my life I’d have an Rx for that stuff, I remember the feeling of the pill far more than I remember why it was prescribed.
        Again, thanks for the link.

  12. OT good news in Texas:

    Federal Judge Rules Texas Abortion Law Wendy Davis Filibustered Is Unconstitutional
    ‘A federal judge has just ruled that the abortion law Governor Rick Perry forced the Texas state legislature into a special session to pass is indeed unconstitutional. The law, which Texas state senator Wendy Davis successfully filibustered for over eleven hours, was scheduled to go into effect tomorrow. Davis’ filibuster led one Texas lawmaker to call her (or pro-choice activists) a “terrorist.” Davis recently announced she is running for governor.’

    #TeamWendyDavis

    • Platitude updated: One man’s terrorist is a Texan woman’s freedom fighter.

      Why do so many of these neo con attempts to infringe upon the Federal rights of women focus so heavily on limiting chemical abortions? Bad girl. If you’re going to do this, we want you to be cut open. Fuck. Paternalist Puritanical bastards. Fuck, State’s Rights. They always seem to be used as an excuse to infringe on the rights of some marginalized individual. Federal supremacy all the way.

  13. This is a non sequitur but I don’t where else to express this but it just hit me that Jordan looks kinda like Carly Simon. And no I’m not stoned.

  14. Donkey’s been busy pinning images of “bohemian” rooms on her home decor board on Pinterest, because now that she lives in San Francisco, she’s a bohemian, y’all — Assisted Living Facility aesthetic be damned.

  15. I know she has posted many booky FB pics from whatever dumb photo sesh this is from but the latest is just lol stupid. I feel like I’m looking at a fucking SNL skit. In my mind the opening song goes something like this: “I write books, and I like books… Here are some books… that I like… I’m a cute and quirky and mildly stressed author, as you can see from my pose and my sensible turquoise v-neck..”

    Fuck it, nevermind.

  16. * * BREAKING NEWS * *

    So.. I think I’ve located the culprit that has been taking all of those asinine fauxtos of the Donkey™ for the past several years (Or at least when Dad$ers wasn’t available..)

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/zFs8q5b.jpg[/img]

  17. catfolk, i’m feeling thankful, and since i probably won’t be celebrating thanksgiving i want to take this opportunity to thank ceiling cat — wait, i mean all of YOU who have recently brought LOVE AND LIGHT into my life during my recent big (ongoing) transition (no, i did not pull a chaz bono). to all the awesome RBDers i have met or corresponded with, thank you. in no particular order, i want to give a shout out to:
    mcakez, KS, beej, Pink Palatian, LEFOOLIEH, Psychotic Today, Stripper Shoes, Chesca, Danliner (+others who were at the NYC meetup who i may have forgotten), Braying Manatee, Fameless Shamewhore, Jack the Bulldog, K-Swizz, SNOW, fig! [Ed. note: and how could i forget, Frequent Liar Miles!]
    and the rest of y’all, i look forward to every single comment that makes me laugh, cry, and think. i <3 this community.

    • Love you, bitch. We will always have Paris. Well, New York. And the cat sweater. And the Postal Service. I’m glad you’re settling in nicely. A heaping JA style “I’M SO PROUD OF MY BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, TINY AND CUTE PROFESSOR FRIEND! She has taught me so much about things! Smart things! Smart things I know because she shared them with me. Me!”

      <3

    • Hope you’re doing well! Find a place? Transition going smoothly?

      I have sad news on my part. Do you remember Sweety? Two weeks ago she had to spend 3 1/2 days in an oxygen cage at a vet ER. They found a diffused mass in her lungs that was causing her difficultly breathing. We were able to bring her home for almost three days, but she went into crisis again. At the vet ER we had to make the difficult decision to put her down. We’re devastated and heart-broken. She was our baby girl.

        • Thanks. I didn’t mean to hijack Prof’s thread. It’s been very difficult for us, she was so cuddly, sleeping on my husband at night,and climbing on me to sleep around 4am. She was my baby, and I’m devastated. I feel her loss everywhere I go in the house

      • 😉
        sadly, no more trivia, at least for the foreseeable future. enjoy all that the beautiful bay area has to offer, i sure will miss it.
        happy to report though that i’ve now got wifi at my place. back to all-night googling myself…erm, i mean, work!

  18. To actually do an OT-ME post:

    Many of you offered support and help when I shared my story about my friend Jen who was battling cancer. She passed away at 1:49 this morning, leaving behind her five year old son, her loving husband and more than hundreds+ adoring friends who will miss her terribly. I know everyone always thinks THEIR person was the most important/awesome/special but I assure you she was really something remarkable.

    This isn’t entirely off-topic, though, because I have to relate something:
    When she passed, I was on the first shift of watching over her while our two other bffz took a nap, as none of us had really slept since Sunday night. I was holding her hand when I realized too much time had passed and another breath was not coming, so I woke my friends and we called in the doctors* and they pronounced her. After they left I sat and held her hand some more, knowing it would be the last time I could, even if she wasn’t there any longer.

    And I will be damned for all eternity because I thought, ‘”Well fuck. I forgot the Bach (lots and lots of Bach) and the hand-holding picture! Now how will everyone on internets know I am grieving the most!?” I almost let out a chuckle, but kept it to a smile. So you bitches were helping me smile in a time of great pain, and you didn’t even know it.

    Thanks for all the laughs and love over the years, cat friends. You are at both times equally and simultaneously the direct dichotomous opposite of JA’s lame donkitude.**

    *I make it sound like I was super chill. In reality I was hyperventilating and punching the panic button like someone trying to make the elevator go faster, and only after practically sitting on my one friend’s head when I tripped over my chair trying to rouse them and stumbled half onto the cot.

    **Am I doing these right?

    • So sorry for your loss. It’s fortunate, for lack of a better word, that you and your other close friends were there to say goodbye.

      Thank Greg that Donkey is around to let everyone know the exact wrong thing to do in every situation. No one would ever think to take a photo of them holding a dying person’s hand except Donkey. And it provided you at least a moment of levity.

      • Absolutely this, all of it. I’m so sorry for your loss, mcakez. Your friend does sound like a wonderful person. I remember several of your earlier posts about her.

        As they say, thanks for sharing. You’re truly the Master of Awesome for being there for your friend and her family.

    • so so so sorry to hear about your loss. she must have been so happy to have you there with her. sending you and her family lots of love. hang in there!

    • I am sorry for your loss. Our Julie is really a touchstone for basic levels of human decency, isn’t she?

    • So sorry to hear this, but glad at least that you guys had the chance to exchange I-love-you’s & goodbyes. My heart goes out to her little guy too.

    • Sorry cakez, but I’m not sorry you were able to be there at the moment. You were very lucky in that regard. After the passing of my cherished pup I know that it eases your heart to be there when they pass rather than just hearing about it.

    • echoing the above comments. thanks for periodically sharing comments about Jen. you were an amazing friend to her. sorry she is gone. sending strength to you and her family.

    • Sending condolences your way. How terribly sad. Life is just shit and unfair sometimes. Wishing you strength for these difficult days.

    • Sincere condolences, Mcakez. I’m so glad that our wonderful witty friends here were able to provide a brief bit of levity – bach, lots and lots of bach, makes me laugh each time – despite the sorrow and pain. I can only hope that RBD fun will continue to make you smile, despite everything, in the weeks and months ahead.

  19. so so so sorry to hear about your loss. she must have been so happy to have you there with her. sending you and her family lots of love. hang in there!

  20. I found a site today that EVERY WRITER ON THIS SITE must visit! It’s amazing and eye-opening for someone who enjoys fiction. It explains so much about everything you’ve ever seen in entertainment. Just start clicking or searching for something and get used to the fact they name thematic elements arbitrarily.

    http://tvtropes.org/

    • You’re absolutely right – it is a FABEROONI time-kill – and funnily enough, I discovered it through a tip on – you guessed it: RBD!

    • My man cat and I love to pretend we are psychic and guess what’s going to happen next on a TV show…usually we’re right!

  21. So, last night was the night that Julia Allison supposedly anted-up $350 for a seat at the San Francisco: Global Fund for Women 25TH ANNIVERSARY GALA

    [img]http://s21.postimg.org/ggt6rfo07/activist_my_ass.png[/img]

    Did the griftiest grifter who ever grifted really fork over some of her Dad$er’s hard-earned cash?
    [img]http://www.papercraftcentral.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Animal-Dollar-Origami-Donkey.jpg[/img]
    Will fauxto-chopped fauxtos be forthcoming?

    My money is on no …

    • I support the rights of women to become Miss Pennystock! To be supported by their married boyfriends! To avoid employment! Feminism means you have the right to dress as “Slutty” Whatever for Halloween, even though The Man will try to keep you from doing so! Women world-wide should have access to Botox, giant veneers, plastic prom dresses, and hair extensions (which come from the shaved heads of destitute Indian women, um, er, oops!)

  22. Cat ladies and gents,

    While I know it is slightly off topic and that I am a fair weather commenter/mostly lurker, I wanted to say thank you to all of you. I know that certain people who have a name that rhymes with mulia mallison might not consider us anything other than fat, poor, delinquent bill payers, but I have found a community that has provided me with a great deal of comfort and sanity in hard times. I recently came to terms with the fact that I have a drinking problem and it has been the conversations here that have allowed me to not only accept it, but be okay with what comes next which is beginning at the beginning and ending at the end and all the unfortunate things that come in between.

    I wanted to say thank you to JP, Jacy and all of you. Also, Princess Widestance, your blog touches me in ways I cannot express. P.S Donkey.

    • yes! good luck with the way forward. RBD community luv.

      [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/ee66f2d078082c0615d069c2384a0ebf/tumblr_mko458rctg1qfa9ryo1_500.gif[/img]

    • Yes, this place and these people are amazing. I also found the courage to admit my drinking was a problem here. The catladies are real, honest, and they live in black rock city. Good luck fellow lurker! I am still in early days so I’m not sure what my advice is worth but I found the first couple of weeks very hoard and just slept as much as possible to avoid the awful smells and sounds my body was making as it detoxed. Power walking has been my everything – endorphins are real, yo! Find something that keeps you busy – cooking, exercising, knitting, puzzles, whatevs. I found sleep and busy work was salvation during the worst of the early days. Good luck!

    • Hey, Lurking! Thank you so much for reading my words. Writing that blog is a big part of why I’ve been able to get through this. I encourage you to write too.

      I’ll sort of echo what TML said – the first couple parts are the hardest. Having all the realizations about having a problem, and all the effects said problem has had on your life. And then making the decision to stop. And then actually stopping. It just takes so much out of you. But IT DOES get better.

      I *promise* that you will see something beautiful in yourself once you make it to the other side of sobriety.

      And you got a cat lady support system, yo.

      • I liked your blog. I have to quit smoking cigarettes and drinking and it really made me think.

        Congratulations on your hard work and thank you for sharing your journey.

        • Quitting cigarettes is a bitch too. I quit almost twenty years ago. It’s weird now when I see pictures of my younger self smoking.

  23. Welp”

    [img]https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1426128_10100522790181095_71024490_n.jpg[/img]

  24. Heh. Just saw a movie in which there’s this great line:
    “Oh shit … our donkey’s in a ditch …”

    Interesting parallel:
    It’s based on a true story about an emotionally abusive woman who spends her considerable wealth to keep a presumably gay man as her constant companion.

    Spoiler Alert (Hai, Ditch-Pig Donkey!):
    It doesn’t end well for either of you them.

  25. There are dozens of pics of guests at the GFW event, and no one is mugging it up like these two tools. I’m sure no one gave a rat’s ass about their presence, but WHY do they have to act like that? It seems so disrespectful. Julia thinks that being lifted up and kissed is proof that she is happy and loved. They are grossing me out today.

  26. O/T Curious, if anyone has an opinion about the NBC Today show reporter asking people to boycott Kitson because they are selling shirts (for adults) with Xanex, Adderrall, etc. on the back.

    • That there is a mighty biggo load of hypocritical bullshit that NBC news correspondent Tamron Hall manufactured, & she needs to point her finger back on herself first & foremost, because there is no bigger DTC peddler of rx meds than prime-time tv.

      • Good point and one I hadn’t thought about, but you’re right. I was thinking along the lines that I get annoyed when reporters think their opinion is fact. Shocked she hasn’t been fired.

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