160 COMMENTS

  1. What happened to her face? She looks more manly than Mr. Roper.

    • I’m convinced it’s botox. When it’s botched – men look like ladies and ladies (and donkeys) look like men.

      • I don’t think Botox can change the entire shape of a face.

  2. I think she looks pretty good. If I didn’t know about her black heart I’d probably struck up a conversation.

  3. Honestly, I think she looks so much better than she has in a long time.

    But that stupid goddamn skirt pull. Seriously. It drives me bananas. Stop it. You’re in your 30s. There’s no room for twee in your 30s.

    • UGH THIS IT SENDS ME INTO A SCREAMING RAGE WHAT THE FUCK STOP IT. STOP IT. PUT YOUR SKIRT DOWN YOU ARE NOT A BALLERINA YOU ARE NOT A PRINCESS YOU ARE NOT FOUR DUSAODSAOUdoiaud9saUD(@_!#U($w3Rwq

  4. No disrespect to Jacy, but I think that dress is one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen Donkey wear. And that’s saying a lot.

    • Uh-oh. I am past my expiration date! Have I lost all fashion sense? I just thought it was kind of cute and demure, for her, which is always laudable considering her usual flammable pouffy look-at-my-ass prom dresses.

        • Are there slits in the arms, I can’t tell? It’s still better than that, and better than the witch dress she wore when she was with Lalla at Fashion Week.

          • I don’t hate the dress – tho I wonder if it came with the white support skirt or she added it (eye roll). I think the sleeves are all wrong and she does not help the silhouette with the double skirt pull

    • You bet! Dev’s hoping that Coppola name will land him a three-picture deal with Harvey Weinstein.

      • I am not trying to be funny by saying that Audra Lindley’s 60-year-old face above looks fresher than Julie’s.

        Lindley was a beautiful woman, and she gets points from me for having been willing to put on dress/makeup/hairstyle of an unattractive harridan for comedy’s sake.

        • Much like Lucille Ball, eh?
          [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hFlpEWZ4qkA/Tj1PxKWeqEI/AAAAAAAAGSw/v6ZdCESbFbY/s400/lucille%2Bball%2Bglamour.jpg[/img]
          [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lus9jeQgpO1qlet5eo1_250.jpg[/img]

          • I’m convinced most people don’t realize how stunning Lucille Ball was because they assume she was a rather extreme looking 30 year old during I Love Lucy. She was in her mid-40s!

          • And had she toned down the hair color and kept her natural dark blond, and eased up on the harsh makeup, she would have been every bit as stunning in her 40s.

  5. Does her nose look different? There seems to be something else going on here besides less make-up and weight loss.

    • Yes yes yes. I said it on the last thread. I can’t put my finger on it, can’t identify it, but there’s something more than just weight loss. She did something to her face.

    • New teeth, I think, and those can drastically change the way a face looks. Remember she was asking for a cosmetic dentist’s name? Also, clear Botox fail, you can see it in that her upper lids are drooping almost over her eyes, and because of that, I don’t think she’s able to wear her regular superfalse eyelashes. Looks like she may have had some filler put in nasolabial folds and this means her cheeks are de-emphasized. I also don’t think she’s wearing as many extensions.

    • If she is medicated, good for her. That is if it’s not Adderall, but an actual anti-depressant and/or mood stabilizer. She’s needed one for years.

  6. Damn her head is really big compared to her body. Though I must admit, I wish I had that problem, though. All you can see in pics of me is boobs (and not in a good way).

  7. Would it kill her to wash her hair? Every single time I’ve met her in person (several), she’s had filthy, greasy roots. If you don’t want to bother with basic hygiene, don’t try to be a media personality, moron.

  8. I hate hate hate this dress (though the light jade green isn’t a bad color on her) but most of all I hate the knee-length slip or underskirt. Hate it so much.

    On the upside, it fits properly. Is Julie Albertson learning? She has gotten several things right: less spackle, cleanish hair (though not two days in a row, so), non-grimacing expressions, less terrible jewelry.

    • I mean, her next step is to get all the things right on the same day. Clean hair, moderate makeup, correctly sized clothing, non-frightening expression, reasonable jewelry…could she do it?

      Of course, she’d eventually open her mouth and be revealed as an ignorbraymus, but.

  9. I don’t know. I think about, in my own life, how hard it is to change – how I so often take 2 steps forward, and 1 step back, and how much harder it is when the people around me insist on seeing things the way they were, rather than the way I so badly want them to be.

    When Julia was posting incessantly on social media, I sort of felt like the snarking that goes on here (and I’ve been around, under various names and doing lots of silent lurking, since totaljing and comment sheriff were regulars here) was justified. It felt like it sort of evened out all of the narcissistic preening – I mean, isn’t that the point of schadenfreude? Plus, you guys were fucking funny (JP, I am so glad for your sake you got sober, and I really mean no disrespect when saying this, but dude back in the old days you were fucking FUNNY).

    And now, speaking of addictions, this site is definitely one I have a hard time giving up (despite my own best efforts to start my day with something more, ahem, productive). Nonetheless, I guess like some of the rest of you, I feel like – well even her photos look different. And this is not the microphone-wielding Julia of yore.

    Anyway, just my late night $ .02. Authenticity costume not included, I’m afraid 😉

    • This is understandable. I’m not an old-school commenter. I started reading around 2009 or 2010, and only commented recently. I came here via a link from GOMI, I don’t know JA personally and have no reason to hate her or be critical. Other than the standard, she puts herself out there reason.

      This site has actually made me think about my own actions/behaviors, more than once. It’s made me question my motives at times and think about narcissism, and how to avoid certain qualities. I’m not a narcissist, no, but we all can be selfish assholes SOMEtimes.

      I come for the witty comments/commentary, mostly.

    • Um, “you used to be really fucking funny” sure does sound disrespectful.

      Damn.

      • That winced me too, for JP’s sake.
        He’s still funny as shit, just not as often for our benefit.

        • I found this passive aggressive criticism fucking appalling & incredibly cruel. Yes, I see no difference between the humor of old JP and new JP, and he seems to be in a good place.

      • Right. JP is funny as fuck and if anyone said I was funnier or better in any way when I was a raging alcoholic, I’d either cut a bitch or relapse. Glad he’s a stronger man than I.

        • Ah shit, I hope that comment doesn’t sound like I’m calling JP a raging alcoholic. I’m not. Just talking about me me ME.

        • And as a comedy writer who rarely laughs at anything, JP makes me laugh my ass off. Tears rolling down my face and hand over my mouth. And I’ve noticed no before/after change. And I’m not sucking up either, I’ve told him many times to go after a freelance writing job – he’s just THAT good. His kind of humor is so sharp and specific and bold and (this is my own opinion), I think sometimes that when it comes easy for people (again, an assumption but I mostly mean “a naturally funny person” like JP) they don’t think it’s that special.

          TL;DR JP is hysterical and I one day hope he takes it to the non-cat masses.

        • I think you’re pretty great right now. Much sharper and funnier than you were before. Also, that shirt looks really nice on you.

          (I have no idea when the dark chapter in your life was, but I will say whatever I need to to convince you that things are infinitely better today. Welcome to the wagon. We have cookies!)

      • i clearly don’t have a way with words, and i apologize for how that came out. rather than offer any justifications, i just want to say JP, I’m sorry for speaking out of my asshole. You are and always will be, funnier, wittier, and more creative than i could hope to be.

    • Word.

      She is obviously in love with Debbie. Their relationship seems to be pretty average. They went through the stage where you want to shout your love to the entire world, then you calm down and notice that “the other” is not perfect, you have your ups and downs, etc etc, but relationships do change people and I think she is trying to change.

      I always wonder what can a person (any person, myself included) change about him/herself and what traits of your personality are there for life. She seems to have given up on the compulsive Internet posting, which is a step in the right direction. Having said that, I think she will always be a major narcissist. I don’t know / care if it’s genetic, or she had Mom$sers and Dad$ers issues or whatever, but I believe she will always be an attention whore. Hopefully she will find a way to channel that into something positive.

      As per this site, I think we are kind of running on empty right now. Her Internet shenanigans were our daily bread and now we are just desperately licking the last bread crumbs on the floor (my dog does that).

      • A person who has never known when to quit, who has harassed people after they have begged to be left alone and who has aired dirty laundry that didn’t actually exist, cannot expect restraint from others.

        (If you haven’t been directly impacted by her assholery, I can totally see how this would seem excessive.)

      • She is obviously in love with Debbie.

        She only loves herself; Derpin & Lilly are accessories.

        • I know she will always be a narcissist.

          But maybe she loves Debbie because Debbie makes Julia a better donkey, if you see what I mean.

    • True to all of this. Change does not happen overnight…you try, then it happens slowly, and over time as it happens you still have major setbacks…in the process. Its’s also true that it is harder when the people in your life still see you the way you were. You can’t just decide to be different.

      This has been my experience too.

    • I am going to say that I completely agree with you. I, and I only speak for me, struggle with posting on this site now that donk has been offline for so long. Kudos to her, really. It’s a step. I really only post for you people so you have something to talk about, because I love you all and don’t know what I would do without the wonderful, hilarious people that populate this place. But I agree, if Donk keeps her shenanigans offline like she has, I don’t really see this going on much longer.

      And I am still hilarious. I use what I can work with, and it’s been slim pickings for the past year or so. I may not be funny-HAHA, but I am still funny-FU.

      • you must have posted just as i was writing my apology up above – and for what it’s worth, i really am sorry. and you can definitely kick the ass of anyone i know in the funny department any day.

      • I agree, my lover. But we’ll have to come up with a way to keep the family together somehow. A Ning group? Something? Anything? Suggestions?

        • I will say that I’m not ready to give up yet. Her re-opening her Facebook is a good sign. And it happened as most of you predicted, like clockwork after Burning Man.

          • Is watching her flail desperately to impress a literary agent or publisher your jam? If so, I have a feeling it’s about to be a party up in here.

            To keep those sweet, sweet Dadser dollars flowing, she’s going to have to produce something besides eye rolls. She failed at the internet years ago. Then her hook was trying to get her TV career off the ground. Now that that has indisputably tanked, she’s got to embrace a new medium. Or re-embrace an old medium.

            ATTENTION DONKEY: Why not pretend to be the first person with ovaries ever to e-publish her work? With a little technical skill, it’s cheap, quick and guaranteed to be an endless source of lulz for the catlady mafia.

            C’mon, put those sausages to good use.

    • NOOOO JP is the funniest funnest wittiest wit ever, always was, always will be. His way with words is just unique, in that we would all know its him even if he weren’t writing under his name. I am proposing a JP-should-get-book-deal NOW mass movement!!!!

  10. Definite improvement!
    Did she finally got her teeth refitted to human dimensions?

    Notching the the make-up brush down from trowel to natural makes everyone look younger and fresher, and a simpler silhouette with few accouterments is also a fairly reliable strategy.

    But she looks so different! … on the outside, anyway. It’s as if she is trying to look like her friend RBillow now, but with Alanis Morisette’s hair from 10 years ago.

    Incredible that just a few months separate these pictures, spring to fall:

    [img]http://gickr.com/results3/anim_b6401b02-588d-6b44-7179-74b218e0513b.gif[/img]

    • Good job! That’s the biggest difference, between how the bobby pin mullet emphasizes the ginormity of her head, & how the AM style elongates her face.

      Toss in that unibrow that she’s cultivating, & as MMBH would say: WALLAH!

        • I kind of think that she did, but don’t quote me on it (could have been Megatard; could be that MMBH misspelled it even worse than that) — all I do know for sure is that her emaciated brain has been emancipated. 😉

    • OMG, do it with this one! Do it with this one! [img]http://images.askmen.com/specials/2010_top_99/julia-allison.jpg[/img]

    • She used to have the make-up gun set to whore.

      Now that she set it to normal, she looks MUCH better.

  11. Al Jazeera America headline today: For the first time in fashion week’s 70-year history, thin wasn’t in!

    Oh Donk, always behind on the trends.

  12. Difference: No sausage curls, less makeup (I don’t think she used foundation. I think I see freckles which are cute), and a dress that was not purchased at the saccharine sweet shop. I’m digging the new look.

    • Me too. And yes, her face is thinner and she looks tired and sad, but it’s marked improvement over the injection-y JokerFace of Miss Advised.

  13. OT and probably TMI: I am getting ready to quit drinking. I have been a heavy and mostly quiet drinker since college but always very high functioning. No problems with work or money or friends/family due to drinking. I’m in my mid-40s I really want to get healthy and stop the near daily drinking. No rock bottom, no health problems, I’m just sick of the whole habit/addiction. I have no interest in AA – I’m a recovering Irish Catholic and the idea of discussing problems with a group of strangers winces me and my ‘get the fuck over it’ approach to life.

    Looking for any tips or advice for ditching the bottle without AA.

    • Non-Functioning Irish Catholic Here: when my family gets together, drinking happens, durrr … & I like to keep my recovering sib company (more than 25+ yrs anniversary this mo, wootwoot!), so I’ll drink near-beer instead … ::shrug:: … if you have a taste for beer anyway, it’s fine, IMO, so maybe try that as an alternative? My B-I-L, when his doc told him to quit drinking after starting a particular lifetime Rx, apparently did so flat out by also switching to near-beer.

      • I wouldn’t advise near beer at all. Very few people don’t drink beer for the taste, they drink it for the effect. And when you drink something that taste like beer but doesn’t have the drunken benefits, it’s easy to just say fuck it and go for the real stuff.

        • Ahhh, okay then, pay me no mind. Obvs not coming from a place of tried-&-true, other than 2nd hand anecdote via my B-I-L’s experience.

    • I personally don’t go to AA as much as I should. I tried finding good groups in my town, but I really couldn’t find a place where I was comfortable and meshed well with people like I did when I last got sober seven or so years ago. I recommend giving it a shot. You might be surprised how much you like it. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to and there are different types of meetings, discussions, book studies, step studies, speaker meetings, etc. There are also online meetings if you want to dip your toe in it. Speaker meetings are a good start because you hear someone elses story and all you have to do is listen.

      Personally, I see a counselor that specializes in substance abuse addiction on a regular basis. I also have pills to cut alcohol cravings, but I don’t take them because I never really crave alcohol.

      You might be surprised how much alcohol really disrupts your life if you think you have a problem, and the steps in AA can help you examine that, as can a counselor. I was a very high functioning alcoholic. To this day, some friends and family don’t really think I had a problem, but I recognized it. (It took a few legal squabbles for it to finally get through to me.)

      This book piqued my interest when I heard an interview on NPR several months back.

      http://www.amazon.com/Clean-Overcoming-Addiction-Americas-Greatest/dp/054784865X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378924494&sr=8-1&keywords=clean+addiction+book

      The author doesn’t discredit 12-step programs, but realizes that they aren’t for everybody. I personally haven’t read it but have been meaning to get around to it. I don’t really think it’s a self help book, more an examination on how we look at addiction. I’ve also found reading addiction memoirs can help examine addiction in your own life.

      I liked this book: http://www.amazon.com/Portrait-Addict-Young-Man-Memoir/dp/B0055X6H0O/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1378924746&sr=1-2&keywords=crack+addiction+memoir

      It deals with crack addiction, but I personally identified it because it was a memoir of a gay addict.

      For me, what keeps me sober on a day to day basis is that I am open and honest about my sobriety to others, so it sort of places the accountability on me. I don’t go around to strangers telling them my life story, but if I am around alcohol or others that drink, I just casually mention that I no longer drink, that way they know not to pressure me to, and I have found that just about everyone is respectful of it.

      But in order to stay sober you need to do an in-depth examination of the circumstantial and psychological causes/triggers of your addiction. For me personally, it really had little to do with drugs or alcohol, and everything to do with what I was trying to alleviate with substances. There was no physical addiction for me, but there are with others.

      You can also email me if you want if you have any other questions: juliasbadpress@gmail.com

        • Ugh it’s embarassing how much I love Jacy and JP> I’m a groupie in my old-expired age!

      • A character based on Bill Cleeg is the focal point of his ex-boyfriend Ira Sach’s film Keep The Lights On, which I found to be a very realistic portrayal of addiction and what it does to relationships. Also, it makes good use of the late Arthur Russell’s music in the soundtrack. I mostly can’t stand “gay cinema” as the self-locating Jordache I am but this one worked for me. Oddly in this past few year I’ve had a few crack people in my life (and it even tried it but it didn’t gel with me) and,well, addiction is addiction and really messes up relationships and for me it’s become more readily apparent when I’ve stepped away from the fug (and had periods of sobriety/healthy living myself). also, come to think of it, I just caught that film “Smashed” with that Winsted chick and that was also a very realistic portrayal of addiction and recovery (and how people can still be really messed in recovery) without being too preachy or melodramatic.

      • I have so much respect for you. I’ve been through the programs a couple times and it gets worse every iteration. I find the “Higher Power” aspect of AA repellant. There are alternatives. There is a movement started right here in the bay area that is totally non-secular but dammit if I can recall the name. Rational Response? Who knows.

        What I know is booze keeps me from being bored, and I fear that worse than being dead. It’s a terrible situation but it will bear itself out one way or the other.

        If AA isn’t for you, there are alternatives. Start with NA and their crazy, crazy stories. The hugging is minimal. The prayers aren’t as annoying. If you can’t stand that, find a place where you can say “I’m [REDACTED] and I’m sober.”

      • P.S. Naltrexone is more of a deterrent imho. I was in a phase where I acquired 90ct or so, and this was a $5 pill. I didn’t finish the bottle because of the way it took away my alcohol buzz and the physical feeling (tightness in chest) and the rare occurrence of liver disease.

        It is still the best option if you love the thought of pills and not drinking.

      • I am echoing the “don’t rule out AA” comment here, not from personal experience…but one of my best friends from childhood tried suicide a couple of years back, was hospitalized numerous times for mental problems…I think her addiction was alcohol, and the thing that really saved her was AA. I mean she’s like a different person now. She’s urged me to try it, not because I’m an addict, more because I have such tendencies, like sometimes rather than dealing with pain, I’ll take a couple pills just to sleep/tune out. This friend goes to AA everyday and really loves it. It’s helped her in like, every way I can see. I might check it out honestly…I can see myself sometimes going down dark roads, and I personally love the support group environment. Just my two cents.

        Also, everyone always says exercise are good for so many things I deal with (depression, anxiety) but fuck if I can’t get my ass to do it. Also I really wanna quit smoking and I feel like I keep putting it off after every new stress or life change enters the picture. I have numerous friends who quit with this ecigarette thing.

        • Im up to about 600 puffs a day on my ecig. I think it’s killing me with 24mg of nic. It a great start, but nota great finish.

          AA is perfect cunt for some people. They learn to cook casseroles for groups and be pleasant to be around. That part I veer away from is the cult like “one of us” vibe you get at every meeting.

          exercise is hard to do every other day. but Ive found if you have a distraction like tv or booty, it can make a hug difference. stop thinking about your pain and start thinking about how much better youll feel in that shower.

    • don’t know what to say, but I stopped cold. Just learn to like ordering Diet Coke/Coke/Soda immediately without thinking. Calculate the many many calories you are saving by not drinking booze. I go to a lot of work dinners and it’s the same thing—avoid the temptation of a constantly re-filled wine glass early.
      I remember being in your shoes, and feeling crumby about the drinking. Don’t—just keep trying to avoid it. It gets easier and you’ll feel so much better in the mornings.

    • tapering: a little less each day until you get to zero

      do you intend to not drink or to drink responsibly? tapering works for either

      if you drink a lot there are medical dangers to stopping suddenly

      google tapering and do the steps that are right for you

    • That’s cool. If you’re the kind that sits at a bar for hours everyday like the highly functioning alcoholics I know, it’s probably good to start cutting back those hours. It’s a habit so start training yourself out of it. Also tell the people you know that you’re cutting back, chances are people already know you drink a little too much and be in support of it. You also know the days when the bars get a little crazy, leave before then so you’re not sucked into the vibe and friends and friends of friends pouring in to extend your drinking time. Not sure what your drinking environment is like but wish you the best.

    • There’s a program called SMART Recovery which is not 12-step but is instead founded in cognitive behavioral therapy techniques. There are groups nationwide and they eschew talk of higher power and powerlessness and instead focus on learning behavioral techniques and rehearsing healthier ways of dealing with urges to drink. You might consider it (and/or talking to a CBT therapist). Good luck!

    • Change your diet at the same time. A whe lifestyle shift so it feels more like a new life chapter. Identify a particular sporting activity, take it up, buy all the equipment and accessories. I recommend cycling because no fucking way are you gonna be able to cycle drunk! 12 years working in addictions – it’s that simple, I promise you.

      • I’m really rooting for you. As an Irish Catholic I get the whole, “just get over it” attitude — but if it were that easy, you would have, ya know?

        This resonated with me the most from what JP said, “But in order to stay sober you need to do an in-depth examination of the circumstantial and psychological causes/triggers of your addiction. For me personally, it really had little to do with drugs or alcohol, and everything to do with what I was trying to alleviate with substances. ”

        I hope you at least try out AA, I only speak because those mtgs have helped many I know. I think it helps not feeling so isolated in it.

    • I think JP kind of said it best, but in my own experience with addiction, I found that the thing I had to get over was not the substance (it’s all very well to go to meetings and talk about ‘x days’, etc) but the feelings, emotions, triggers, etc that propelled me to it in the first place.

      For example, why it may have served you well thus far (hence your ‘high-functioning’-ness) perhaps being brought up with a ‘get the fuck over it’ approach to life (or evolving one over time, if your parents were a different brand of Irish Catholic than the ones I know) is exactly what makes it easier to drink than deal with whatever the underlying problems are.

      And the ‘underlying problems’ may not be anything so huge, horrific, or scary – but your experience of them without alcohol might be that way for a while, until you develop alternative coping mechanisms. The peer support of AA and the structure of the 12 steps can be helpful alternative coping mechanisms, but they’re definitely not the only ones.

      Maybe you can just go cold turkey – though if you’re anything like most of us, my hunch is that you’ve had the idea or intention to at least once or twice before sharing this with all of us. And maybe you don’t identify with giving yourself the ‘addict’ label – which is part of why you’re leery of groups like AA. I’d second Albie’s mention of a therapist – someone to discuss alternative ways to have fun, relax, and – yes – even share your insecurities and problems with strangers (kudos for doing it here, btw).

      More often than not, I think addictive behavior is driven by a desire to avoid the sense of shame we feel about our imperfections – whatever ‘dark self’ secrets we desperately hope that no one in the world will see. It’s easier to numb than experience that part of ourselves – and we’re terrified of anyone else seeing it, too. Though in the end, it’s actually revealing that thing that will give us the love and acceptance we secretly think we’ll be rejected for.

      For what it’s worth, I had a bad experience with 12 step groups and I don’t think they are for everyone. I do, however, think that exploring what’s underneath the ‘just get over it’ (with a therapist, preferably) could really help. In addition to some structure to help with the nuts and bolts of avoiding the substance (what to do instead of the post-work cocktail to calm down, what to do instead of the glasses of wine to sleep, what to do for fun besides get wasted at the bar, etc).

      Good luck 🙂

      • Yeah the “just get over it” attitude really doesn’t work. That’s how I lived my life before I got sober again, and I thought I was fine, and then HELLO NERVOUS BREAKDOWN! You think you are over things and letting things roll off your back, but you are just burying them inside and you can only bury so much.

      • I cosign on the advice to wean off until you’re down to 0 drinks. It sounds counterproductive but alcohol is definitely not something you want to guesstimate RE: your amount of regular consumption before deciding to go cold turkey. The danger of seizures and or fatality are that great that cold turkey is typically only advised with medical supervision (unless you’re 110% that it’s just gotten to be a LITTLE bit too much as of late and are not too heavy on the level, which, again, can be hard to discern) and I don’t know that the potential risk would be worth it. Also cosign on finding other coping mechanisms because sometimes, even though the time expenditure is greater, it’s just worth it to skip the instant gratification and take in exercise, meditation, yoga, deep breathing, eating better, etc. etc. They’re all the basic ways to feel better that unfortunately (and especially for lazies like me) take a little more work and discipline but do for you so much more than that quick-acting substance can. Add to this that you’re of course extending and improving your life, rather than cutting it short through the quick fixes.

    • I never had luck with 12 step programs — I think my shame and guilt wells were already overflowing, so trying to pour more of that on to me was pointless. I found more support from the harm reduction community, which helped me at least better manage my addiction to the level of being a semi-functional, private drunk. I eventually did achieve abstinence from alcohol with the help of large doses of baclofen to control my compulsive cravings after finally getting health insurance and finding a psychiatrist who luckily took a chance on this course. Look up Dr. Olivier Amniesen’s “The End of My Addiction” for a description of his self-treatment theory and practice.

      Of course, quitting drinking isn’t going to solve a whole other host of psychological and physiological problems from prolonged alcohol abuse, not to mention those that pre-date your use which you were probably self-medicating with alcohol in the first place. When I drank, I drank to hide from the monsters I could see. When I quit drinking, my circle of perception grew, which felt great! Until I realized there were even more monsters lurking out beyond the edges of the old shadows — which I’d been too drunk to even know to fear.

      What kept me off booze the first year (after I had tapered off the baclofen over three months) was lots of exercise (particularly running and yoga) to help stabilize my mood and combat my depression and a weekly meeting with a relational therapist with whom I found a good rapport and lots of warm, positive regard. Also? I rescued a cat, and his indifference felt enough like forgiveness to work for me.

      Eventually I also evolved a meditation practice that I had started as part of the harm reduction treatment program from a Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy approach to exploring Soto Zen practice. That’s not where I’d like it to be yet, but it seems to fulfill what spiritual needs I have without any of the magical thinking and judgemental bullshit that I find so triggering in AA. I’ve also sought out other supportive communities, like my regular yoga class, a relationship discussion group, and volunteer opportunities.

      I’m not sure I’d call myself sober — I have a doctor’s recommendation for medical cannabis because I prefer it to benzodiazepines for controlling my anxiety, and I have continued to dabble in psychedelics (as did Bill Wilson) — but I’ve gone from semi-functional to highly functional. I still have a voice ringing from somewhere hollow deep inside telling me that somehow I’ll screw it all up somehow, whatever it is, and that no matter how hard I try, deep down I’m just a selfish, greedy, evil sociopath and the world would be better off if I didn’t — even hadn’t — existed. It echoes loudest when I’m alone, but it gets quieter the more I challenge it and the better evidence of my improving competence and judgement to counter it with.

      • Again, thank you all. I’m so grateful for your thoughtful, kind, and encouraging words. I am looking for a therapist today and put together a tapering plan last night, over several vodka sodas.

        I’m scared but I really want to break out of this. Thank you.

        • You will do fantastic! Don’t underestimate the power of your mind and it’s ability to make massive positive changes in an incredibly short space of time. And if it’s too overwhelming for you – use therapeutic supports available to you. Best of luck!!! X

  14. She’s a reporter, now… (from her facebook)

    Julia Allison shared a link.
    about an hour ago
    I know it’s dorky, but I’m really proud of the piece I reported on for today’s NY Post – on the security guards at Fashion Week. For 14 seasons they’ve made me smile & laugh, and I felt like it was time to give back. Thanks to them for all the memories!

    http://nypost.com/2013/09/10/nyfws-security-team-knows-where-all-the-mannequins-are-buried/

    Security team knows where all the mannequins are buried
    nypost.com
    It’s a party in the front and all business in the back. The New York Fashion Week tents in Lincoln Center draw the most glamorous creatures, but unbeknownst to most,…
    Like · Share
    9 people like this.

    Shannon Drake Mullet jokes FTW
    about an hour ago · Like

    • Well, clearly. I mean, she was obviously there posing for glam-bore shots just like all the other working journalists.

      Sometimes I wish we could arrange to leave her alone in a room with Grace Coddington for 15 minutes. Wouldn’t be anything left but silicone and plastic pelts.

    • Disjointed and rambly, but better than I expected from her. I wonder how much the co-writer wrote and how much the article was edited.

      Gotta give her props for actually working.

    • Why in Greg’s name would Kirsten Fleming give Julia Allison a byline? She’s a decent writer (lulz at her Meghan McCain article*) & associating w/ a D0nkey is nothing short of career kryptonite, right?

      Nothing in that article seemed d0nkey-ish … where’s her contrib, I wonder …

      *http://nypost.com/2009/08/15/meghan-mccain-blonde-bomb-shell/

    • um…
      “Some imposters are so desperate for the high life, they have been caught forging credentials, which is grounds for a ban… “[Crashers] walk too fast. They never look you in the eye, and they are dressed a little crazy, even for Fashion Week,” says Carney.”

      sounds AWFULLY familiar.

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