OH FOR FUCK SAKE, PEOPLES!!!!

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drunk_russians_33

I wake up from four-year bender, stay sober longs enough for Ivan (goat) and goatherd (Vlad) and goatheard-mate (Kirill) to stop sexing me and get own fat ass on airplane (propeller-kind) for spring break in Estonia (Tallinn ’13!! Woohoos!!!!!!), and I check into Internet Cafes AND THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!?!?!?!

WHAT FUCK IS UP WITH POOFY AND GAY EX-BOYFRIEND WITH GUMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS WHERE SHE RUN IN CIRCLES AND FORCE PEOPLES TO KISS HER AND PLAY PRETEND RED-POLITIC LADY AND CHANGE FACE AND GO TO ASHRAMS AND HAVE SISTERS WHO ARE SISTERS NO MORE AND HAVE PARENTS WHO ARE ON THE FACEBOOKS AND NOW HATE HER AND EX-APARTMENT WHERE FECES ARE EVERYWHERE (I know about living place where feces are everywhere and it is called BARN).

I ask: HAS THE NOTHING CHANGE IN FOUR YEARS?!?!?!?!?!?!

I just say.

185 COMMENTS

  1. It’s like a reunion all up in here! Reader Becky! Russian Girl! Redactomom! I just need Records Custodian, as well as Preacher Jim to castigate my lust for anal sphincter.

    • Dear Reader Bicky,
      I am the Russian Orthodox now and I beat up the Gay Peoples Who Put The Penises In the Other Peoples’ Anus, so WE ALL GOOD!!!!!!!!

      • [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/55c26419ce2f220406e5a43130e9a771/tumblr_mkzpvgnauL1s7iznso1_500.jpg[/img]

        I think Russia is sending mixed messages when it comes to the gays.

  2. No…. YES!!

    Now I’m wondering if things will get crazy enough in here for the return of Comment Sheriff…

  3. Even if it took a donkey leaving the internets to get you back on RBD, Russian Girl, it was worth it! Ever consider being a mail order bride? San Diego is lovely this time of year, and I’d be happy to share my home on Coronado with you. No more feces ever!

  4. Old skool, FTW! This time is different. This time everything is on the line. Now, will someone please give me ops in chat?

  5. Daddy, hi, I’ve been wondering about something. You know how when you sneeze but hold it in? Is that safe? Or is that how people get heart attacks? I held back a sneeze an hour ago and my head is still spinning! Oh oh I’ve also been thinking about tech stuff and is there like a big exhaust fan somewhere connected to the Internet so all the used electrons can get blown out into space because otherwise people would be sneezing all the time?

    Love you, Megs

    PS – How do I change my phone number?

  6. My computer’s at my boyfriend’s and the last post keeps crashing my iPhone because of all the comments. What’d I miss?

    • Try switching the button at the bottom to ‘mobile site off.’ That usually stops the phone crash.

  7. I’ve been so busy with my desk errands and house (which I own) errands and husband (who I didn’t trick into marrying me) errands that I’ve been a lurk-monster for the past FOREVER. Good to see you basement-dwelling catladies again.

      • P.P.S. Totally just reminded Pinkz of when we were shadily perving over her and huscat having intellectual convercasiones about The West Wing during a skype chat. I’ll let her share her own news on that but also WHY AREN’T YOU IN CHAT. GWURL. Also, can we seriously arrange skype chat at some point? Miss everyone! And btw, ALL catladies and gents are invited to join in, it’s always been a very good (and sometimes super emo) time. 😀

        • OMG yes. And Pinky and I were obsessed with shopping at Gilt Groupe. Sigh…good times.

          p.s. Was thinking about you today, LeFool. No lie. Was listening to the new Kanye album and thought of when My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy came out. We had those long conversations about the album and his appearance on SNL. Miss you!

          • Loooooove you behbs. I’m going to try and find my old cell and recover my contacts (which I have in text form SOMEWHERE, but no clue exactly where) but feel free to text if you still have mine or msg me on skype/in chat. We gotta gossssssssip. 😀

  8. “AND PLAY PRETEND RED-POLITIC LADY ”

    This made me giggle so hard I just peed a little.

  9. I’ve been following this shitshow since the jakobandjulia days and have commented here and there, but I just had to come out of the shadows again to say you all are amazing. And now seeing the old school folks from back in the days just goes to show you how awesome this community is.

    I also wanted to agree with many comments over the last couple of days saying that you fellow catladies have taught me how to handle the hard times and when to keep in the cray. I’m past my expiration date and single and have had my fair share of times where I’ve thought about unleashing on a guy but I mentally ask myself “is this a JA move”? And then I calm myself down with ice cream and okcupid.

    I bumped into JA (years ago) at internet events in NY from time to time (she was always dragging poor lilly along as an accessory) and she’s just as wretched as everyone else here states. She hasn’t changed, she hasn’t learned. She won’t until she is forced to.

    Anyway, if for any reason JA is actually shutting down and getting help, good for whoever is making her do it. Other than that I really don’t wish her ill or well. BUT for all of you guys I want to send some thanks. You all are some of the funniest people on the internet and have been a fun constant for years.

    Now listening to the last moments of the Texas Senate. FOR ALL THE GIRLS!

    • God this Texas Senate thing is BONKERS. That third ruling on germaneness was complete and utter bullshit, and it’s even more gross that it was a female docter who brought the issue of germaneness up.

      • yeah it winces me grievously. but hey, Supreme Court. There’s enough of this shit to go around.

      • No, no, no! She was saying that there has to BE a 3rd ruling of anti-germane & that were only two (in the three total, one of which was the so-called help by Ellis) — she made a damn good point, as did the other guy that got the floor for so long just now.

        • I just love her for standing up there for 13 hours and fighting the fight. Whatever happens. I used to report on the Texas Lege and I loved it. The shenanigans were part of the perverse pleasure. But tonight I am sad and ashamed.

          • I think it was Judith Zaffarini who made that point (dark jacket, silver hair).

      • Must admit, I missed most of this today and do not totally understand. Am going to catch up now, while tabbing back and forth to hit refresh on this page!

        • Leticia Van De Putte made a bad ass comment about women in the chamber being recognized by the men and the crowd erupted around 10 min before midnight.

          They voted at 12:01 to pass the bill, but the constitution says that the special session can last no more than 30 days, so the vote should be invalid. Republicans are saying they voted at 11:59, but some Republicans admited that they thought they were voting on the previous question AND NOT THE BILL. No one knows what the fuck is going on right now, but as it stands now, the bill passed. There were over 200,000 people watching the livestream watching the Republican party hijack democracy.

          • Awesome, just caught up and cried like Julia did when Lala told her she is only angry because what we say here is true.

          • this will not stand up in court. I am super pissed, because back in the day members who knew and used the rules to the best strategic advantage were fucking LIONIZED, and now the rules are like silly putty. Wendy Davis is still a hero. When it all gets sorted SB5 will be history.

            Either that or you’ll have to come visit me in the ashram.

          • NPR says the vote is as yet undetermined. It was more like 12:10 when they were voting.

          • And it’s officially dead (for now). There could still be a second special session, but this is an awesome, inspiring victory.

          • Chat was going crazy last night with us watching the livefeed. Thank you to pinky, brayella, Jane, jufoo, braycration for being there to cry and scream with! I went to sleep crying about the miscarriage of justice and woke to three pieces of amazing news.

            Yee!!

          • Mcakez, it was a monumental event meant to be experienced w/ comrades-in-arms & actually being able to do just that in spite of the late hour was pretty phenomenal, in my book.

            I woke up in my usual brain fog, then cognizance kicked in about halfway to coffee maker … turned into a slow walk of dread, no question … finding out that Dewfuckinghurst nutted up & did the right thing was amazing.

  10. Russian Girl is back. I laughed on a day when I didn’t think I could laugh because I had to put my 19 year old cat to sleep. Very grateful. The photo alone is genius. All hail Russian Girl!!! I swig vodka shots in your honor now.

    • I lost my 19 year old cat last fall.

      I miss him everyday. I would propose we post kitty names and photos, but um, I used my cat’s photo as a social media profile pic sometimes and he had distinctive face markings. What could be more embarrassing than outing yourself on a mean cat lady blog by posting photos of your cat?

      (answer: recognizing another cat lady from photos of hers)

      But seriously, I am so sorry for your loss.

      • Thank you, Doc Series, and thank you all. You know, when I scrutinized my vet’s poster of “How old is you pet in human years?” today, my Willa busted the chart. They didn’t even have an age for her! I think it was about 100. She had a good run.

        • Wow, 19yrs. I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with Albie; you must be an amazing cat-parent. I’m sure she had a wonderful life.
          DocSeries, you too. Kitty <3

    • So sorry about your kitty, Dyspeptic. Nineteen years old! I am sure Willa was grateful for a long happy lifetime of your love. Hugs!

    • I’m so sorry about the loss of your kitty. A lifetime of cat love is an intensely beautiful bond. )-:

  11. My cold, dead, hater heart grew three sizes on reading this thread.

    Now it’s almost visible under an electron microscope.

    • WOW. I’m conflicted. On the one hand, her crafts are laughable crap that don’t deserve any investment. On the other, how this must burn the Donks….

    • LOLOLOLOLOLOL (I feel like I was rung).

      What a bunch of unmitigated shite. I cannot believe the quotes here. Brit has a “personal brand”? Sorry that ain’t gonna happen. The woman is nice enough and decent looking and everything but has no charisma at all and her idea is so completely generic and derivative of so many others out there.

      I saw the link and thought it was 63 mil for a second and my eyes popped out of my head. 6.3 isn’t really that much money and it’s definitely possible that a few threw in coin to get in better with Davesky. Just saying.

      • She is called the Martha Stewart of silicon valley but she is more like the sandra lee of crap and bullshit. She and her husband are seriously scamming the hell out of the valley VCs

  12. Moron gets money = they let a dude into the vc club
    Possibly they will use the money to hire actual crafters with actual crafting experience to make actual craft things and let the rat faced founder be the face of the brand

  13. The business isn’t a bad idea but the box in the mail thing already feels like last years idea
    Dog treats subscriptions beauty subscriptions whatever
    There’s a uk woman doing craft box things that’s way better
    The business will succeed or not, the rich people threw a bone to the wife of a friend, another day another deal

    The other way to look at it is that with all that couples connections its a laughably small raise pocket change really like when people at work hit u up for girl scout cookies

  14. RUSSIAN GIRL!!!!

    We’ve been so lonely without you.

    [img]http://julieduck.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/babushka-cat.jpg[/img]

  15. Greg’s wife do it if u want to its easy sell craft boxes on etsy you’re a founder
    It’s basically a physical goods play with an ecomerce front

  16. Every time I finally phase this lady out of my internet habits for being boring, she reels me back in with a freshly-loaded pallet of crazy delivered right to her haters’ doorstep. Her life is a great ouroboros of suck that is utterly predictable and I love that there are always folks to chat about it with…

  17. I guarantee you she has already emailed Gawker to ask them why they haven’t done a post about how she took down her Facebook page. I have no word of her doing such a thing, but I bet she did and/or does.

    • How great would it be if Gawker would just forward D0nkey’s email(s) to RBD w/ a biggo *YAWN* in the subject line? Hooves would be stomped!

      SEMI-RELATED:
      If anyone can summarize, I’m deeply confused & genuinely curious:
      How does really old stuff makes it into a current search?
      [img]http://i39.tinypic.com/531eup.png[/img]

      It’s a pic of Lasanga, from more than three+ years ago, so I EXIF‘d it …

      The googles … I no unnerstanit!

    • I give it another 5 days, tops. Enough time for concerned friends to realize she hasn’t been clogging up their FB streams and ring up, all concerned. At which point she’ll blame that awful hate site for ruining her perfect Granny-sent blessed union of a-holes. She’s taken the spin offline for now, but she’ll be back soon enough, the emotionally healthy Julia she never was.

      • I still don’t get what you guys are talking about. I guess I’m too old or too drunk?

        • My best guess is she popped up on the Gchat contacts bar or something similar, since she’s definitely emailed Jacy/JP/Prof FC in blind rage before.

  18. Sorry to comment off topic, but thank you JP for alerting me about the Texas filibuster. I have been glued to it all day. What an extraordinary woman. Bizarre day here in Australia. Our prime minister, Julia Gillard, a good Julia, just got kicked out of office. A sad day here but a good day for you. Democracy is as rewarding as is it frustrating.

    • I woke up to read that… Wtf? How is bringing Kevin Rudd back going to help the Labor Party exactly? If they’re worried about the national election, I can’t see how Rudd will save things.

      • Aaaargh! WTF!!! I heard on the radio a couple of days ago that Rudd was trying to make a comeback and I just laughed. Say it isn’t so! Not Rudd AGAIN?? Are they deliberately trying to throw the election? #RuddRage

  19. Who wants to start a massive fight in hopes that the Comment Sheriff emerges to break it up?!

  20. I’d love to see the term sheet
    50k hire someone who can actually craft
    200 k get an office marketing and fulfillment
    1 year if it isn’t over well see about giving more cash
    Yeah call it 6.5m like its ever going to last past one year if pocket change staff and overhead cash support

      • $50,000 on expensive wines, have dinner party, drink wine, write it off as business expense for used corks to make dirty yoga mats.

        • When I had first learned of that (her encouraging readers to transform used yoga mats into wine corks), I wanted to vomit in my mouth. Who seriously is her audience? And why are they dumb as shit to listen to this drivel?

  21. LOL Brit on Valleywag today including Julia Allison reference.

    • That was supposed to be a reply to Brayella, sfss.

      This exchange is also quite funny:

      “PrayForDentonUSam Biddle11L
      Speaking of Julia Allison, it’s been rumored she hit on Brit’s husband at a wedding in Spain. 39 minutes ago

      CorsoUPrayForDenton1L
      Someone married that?? 25 minutes ago

      PrayForDentonUCorso1L
      Haha! No. As if. Allison was at the wedding of Meghan Marks (Cashed Out Facebooker) and Conrad Jones. At that wedding, Julia was caught flirting with David Morin by her current boyfriend, who confronted them. 21 minutes ago”

    • “Step 1: Sand” made me laugh so much for some reason. Not a flattering screen grab… Brit’s looking rather Julia-ish with that headscarf and full face of makeup. Her onscreen presence isn’t that great and her crafts are dumb. But yay for her OMG STARTUP I guess, if only because it makes a penniless donkey burn.

  22. WHO FUCK MAKES A WHITEBOARD FOR DRY ERASE MARKERS FOR SOMETHING YOU SIT ON I CAN’T EVEN WTF YOU DUMB BISH ARGH

      • yesyesyesyes!!!! Email them for name look-up to confirm Donk inclusion, and pass around the hate (haha, meant to say hat but hate works too!) for donations. I’ll donate!

        • She’s definitely included. That’s the year she graduated (remember that the Indiana U. fiasco meant she graduated college a year later than she would have).

    • DOOOOO IIIIIITTT!!! I’ll donate. The Old Face will keep us laughing for days while we wait for the next round of cray.

      Please, please please can we have it, Mommy and Daddy??

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