98 COMMENTS

  1. I fear, sadly, this board will be blacked out, because Donkey is a tacky cow. A wonderful creation, one that inspires me to, dare I say it, announce a Paris photoshop contest?

    • Please do! I have a whole image folder of her French kissing various pastries and other people’s celebratory gluten.

  2. Never have I been more excited about someone else’s trip to Paris. Thank you, Paris bingo.

  3. None of these things, except the proposal and a free Lily, are out of the realms of possibility. She’s done all of these things before in other cities. How is she not embarrassed?

    • And who is she going to foist Lilly [sic] upon for three weeks? Will she bring her to Europe or dump her off in Chicago en route?

      • Don’t they have to stop in Wilmette anyway so that Chef Gurl R Dee can actualize his vibratory intentions to PettiFogger before he asks for D0nkey’s hoof in marriage?

        • Only if you think Derwin is going to marry Donkey!

  4. Love the tweet about them literally not knowing where they’re going next. “I’m moving today!” “Where are you moving too?” “Don’t know!”

    • Transbraytion:
      I am ashamed to admit that I am moving to a studio (OMG!!) in downtown LA furnished with used tables from Pizza Hut.

      PS: She said she lived in Marina del Bray for 2 years. Is that true??? Or is she, again, lying lying lying?

      • Exactly.

        Marina Del Bray: 18 months, tops

        She moved there in late summer, early fall 2011, I believe — right before the show started filming.

          • For fuck’s sake, it never ends. She has absolutely no problem lying about things that are so easily disproved by her own tweets and posts and words.

            How can anyone ever question if this Donkey is a total lunatic?

            Sociopath.

          • It’s all legalese, bunny.. By “14 months of couches and airports” she meant that she slept on the couch in her parent’s downtown condo once, and she flew to some other cities (on Dad$ers dime) during that time.

            The “2 years” thing probably also includes the time she was thinking about moving to the L.A. area. So it’s all true, technically. Or something like that..

          • Exactly, Random. You had a home. It was called “rent free living in parents OMG DOWNTOWN CONDO.” Asshole.

      • i don’t need a doctorate in donkology to tell you this bitch is LYING.

        [img]https://secureservercdn.net/45.40.144.200/44u.a41.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/liar.jpg[/img]

        • Every time I see this image I keep thinking I should have given her a Pinocchio nose along with the pants on fire..

          • How many nose jobs would that have been for Donks?

    • If she doesn’t know where she’s moving to, but has now actually left MdB, surely she can at least say where the hell her belongings have been delivered to?? Although I’m sure I recall at one point a few months ago she was trying to hawk her Shabby Shit furniture on FB.

      • I know, right? And they’re not leaving for 5 days, so where’s she going to be tweeting from? Will she just go silent? She’s so shady.

      • Oooh, I LOVE モリシタ シロウ. Especially with a side serve of Puspito and a floor serve of Brussels Sprouts.
        Mmmm, tasty!

  5. I think you just ruined her whole trip, Jacy. She was planning to do all of these things. Hater! 🙂

    • Well.. all of them except the “No proposal from Devin” one. (He better if he knows what’s good for him. Hell hath no fury like a Donkey scorned.. or something like that)

      • And if he doesn’t propose, what the hell is she going to do? Dump him for someone else?

  6. Making stupid insensitive remarks about the French way of life, such as “Cars are so small in FRANCE. Hahahahahaha! How can people fit their tutu collections in those little cars???”

  7. I LOVE RBD! there, now that i’ve gotten that out of my system, here’s a flashback to when julia planned to travel to paris bailed on her two best childhood friends.
    https://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/08/09/shockingly-woman-who-dresses-in-slutty-halloween-costumes-every-year-wants-to-dress-up-as-a-whore-in-paris/

    is anybody extra google savvy and can find that picture of clompy donkey trying to dance while skirt pulling during her 2008 birthday, a la can-can? kthxbai.

    (blurry screenshot of a cuntbunnies masterpiece that has been deleted off tinypic)
    [img]http://i.imgur.com/yPfKaIM.jpg[/img]

    • ok seriously, someone with mad google skillz needs to find this picture, it’s killing me. it’s from the same set as the one below, except she’s doing this widestance skirt pull dance move thing. anyone know what i’m talking about?

      [img]http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3114/2421867558_37feda3e60_z.jpg?zz=1[/img]

    • I know exactly the shot you’re talking about. She is doing a super wide stance, flinging her Moulin Rouge skirt to the side, and is in mid-hee haw, big buck teeth on full display. Might have even captured her left side. I don’t think she posted it at any time because it was so unflattering, but it may have shown up on Guest of a Guest? (The site she despised and then claimed never to have heard of?)

        • Donkey Does the Kant-Kant was one of my all-time favorite episodes. It’s a view directly into her hideously unattractive soul.

          • You’re right, she does look like she’s at a ho down. How fuck does someone doing the Kant-Kant (thanks, WP!) end up looking like this?

            On the high kick, was she flinging her sequoia stump outwards, like she was trying to mount another cigar-smoking-seedy-old-dude? Thanks but no, Julia; we’ve already been traumatised enough by you spreading your legs and showing your underwear and green skin-tags.
            PLEASE no repeats in a tu-tu in front of the Moulin Rouge.
            They lost their giant elephant. They don’t need a giant Donkey.

          • clog·ging
            /klägiNG/
            Noun
            Clog dancing.

            donk-ing
            /ˈdônkiNG/
            Noun
            Equus Asinus prancing.

        • Okay, this whole series is now in my mind officially worse than those satanic “jorts” at the Taylor Swift concert, and I thought those were the worst thing in the history of all things.

        • booyah, behold the power of crowdsourcing catbitches!

          “can-can” “moulin rouge” “clomping dancing donkey” “julia allison birthday 2008”

        • This is like, the saddest picture I’ve ever seen. 4am at some bar, closing time, everyone’s left and gone home. Julia still thinks she’s the life of the party. Prancing for an audience of no one, no one is laughing. It’s really depressing. Mental illness is not funny, people.

          Chubby little loser
          The clown that no one laughs at
          No one’s bloody laughing
          They all just wish he’d die

          -Bowie on Extras .

  8. Further to the “Wistfully looking over the Seine” will be a reenactment on vimeo of Adele’s “Someone Like You” video.

    [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/18/Someone_like_you_music_video_screenshot.jpg[/img]

    • …aaaand there’s your lip dub.

      People have been begging her to do one!

      • No, I’m rethinking that. She has Debbie now, so they will probably do something from “An American In Paris” complete with costumes. Isn’t there a scene on the Seine?

        • I LOVE “An American in Paris,” the costumes and the sets are sooo wonderful. I hope she doesn’t besmirch it, ugh.

          Peut-etre quelque chose comme-ci? Avec plus fromage? From the “The Hunchback of Notre Dame II” sung by Jennifer Love Hewitt:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPfQSZhhCfs

  9. “What is WRONG with France?!? Everybody at Davos speaks English!!! Even Sweden and that boring Danish place!!!”

  10. [img]http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee516/bobbaer1/TXPAReiffel_mwprint_zpsa721a159.jpg[/img]

  11. Long-time reader, first time poster, delurking to say I lost my shit at “Gang signs on the Champs-Élysées”. Thanks for bringing a smile to my horrid start to the week.

  12. LOL to Donkey retweeting this:

    @TheAtlantic 13h

    The Secret to Professional Success? Be a Giver. http://theatln.tc/17vIJRZ

    Four things Donkey knows nothing about: Secrets, Professionalism, Success and Giving.

    • She wants other people to realize that her endless grasping is simply her way of guiding them to professional success. There’s a special place in Hell for desk-errand runners who don’t help Donkeys.

    • LOLOLOL. I just mentioned “An American In Paris” above. This is hilarious! I love the no dog poop sign.

    • *wide-standcing ovation*
      Plus, it’s captured The 3 Faces of Julia Allison:
      Gaping Maw, Pouty-Kissy Face & Licking Something.

      If we do get our European Engagement, I wonder what words Devin will actually use for the proposal. “Darling Princess Julia, will you make me the most vibrationally congruent base-model and accept this CZ Brussel Sprout as a symbol of your constant and ongoing disappointment in my inability to bring any finances to the shaky-pizza-hut table, which although making me feel demeaned as a man (hahha=laughs are my own) help me to actualize a better vision-board of myself, and offer me your hoof in unholy grifterhood?”

      *cue ‘completely spontaneous’ video filming and camera shots from multiple angles and constant do-overs until Bridezilla-to-be determines that the coverage meets her oh-so-exacting standards, because you know, ‘perfectionism is just my thing!’

      You catladies/gents are so very talented. Would you compose your own Devin (which actually means Donkey’s) version of the proposal? I bet you guys have some epic ideas.

        • Hmmm, haven’t watched it yet because I have a feeling it’s that awful Burning Man- Ellsberg(?) ‘erotic’ dance? Ugh. BTW, the way Devin could “experience her without touch”during the engagement would be to run far, far, away, screaming into the night.

          • “greasy gyrating sex gargoyle”
            bwahahaha! Maybe we could stuff him on the top of Notre Dame with all the regular gargoyles?

        • I love laughing at these idiots as much as the next cat lady, but this video is *so* embarassing, I had to turn it off straight away. In other words, it is so cringeworthy that I can’t watch it long enough to make fun of it. Yikes!

  13. I can’t help but notice that the Bingo board is heavily skewed towards a proposal from Debbie. I’m pretty torn about this myself – are we really rooting for this, haters? I feel like if we finally get our pretty princess pink wedding, the cray and schadenfreude is all downhill from there 🙁

      • Oh god, YES! THIS, please. If Debbois left her at the altar after her manic planning of the wedding of our nightmares, that would truly be the best of both worlds. The cray would be epic.

    • Are you kidding? The build-up to the OMG pretty princess wedding will be off-the-charts. The day-of meltdown will be epic and then she’s just going to go more crazy once the wedding’s over. She’ll be trying to brand the two of them as expert marrieds, and if she ever gives birth (my vote is for please don’t, because I wouldn’t want her inflicted on any child) STFU Parents will have to introduce a whole new category of crazy.

      • Hmm, good points, Wonkeye. I just feel like there’s no low lower than sad, desperate dating Julesie, but unhappily married crazy Julesie might be amusing too.

  14. i have nothing of value to add, just needed to say that this post and several comments within made me stomp my feet and giggle with glee. I CAN’T WAIT

Comments are closed.