Donkey In The Wild Sighting



Hey everyone! Did you know Julia doesn’t eat meat? No?? Well she doesn’t, because she has principles, and she hasn’t since she was NINETEEN! Also, did you know she has a boyfriend? She totally does, and they go to lunch at restaurants in the Houston’s chain sometimes. She doesn’t eat meat, she has a boyfriend, she was on CNN and all those drunk Indians should just stop being drunk Indians if they don’t like people making jokes about them!! Just fix it!!!

I digress. Seems a San Francisco cat lady was dining at Hillstone when Donk and her eunuch came in for lunch.

Her observations:

Having lunch at Hillstone (the fancy name for Houston’s) in SF with that icky little boy of hers. Ugh. Why is she in my city??

She was joining the clean plate club.

He’s super skinny – like sickly skinny- and scruffy (in a bad way). I originally noticed him walking in because he was carrying a backpack like a little kid over one shoulder. I was trying to figure out what sort of grownup wears a backpack on one shoulder, let alone carries a backpack at all, and I saw the Jabbers next to him.

She was wearing a horrid hot pink blazer. This thing was a travesty. And HOOVERING food into her mouth.


      • Wow. Look how far Devums has fallen since they started dating. If he isn’t a substance abuser, he may have a wasting disease. Or Julie sucks up all the food in the room while she’s suxking up all the oxygen.

          • lost a grandmother but gained a boyfriend (fucktard fashion failure (testicle dust that dissipated into the wind (Queen Neferteeri)))

            I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I have a bad feeling this is going to end horribly. Not in a hoovering-chocolate-in-the-middle-of-Whole-Foods way, but in a more grisly “America’s Most Wanted” way. I take no pleasure or joy in that prediction, but I fear it.

          • lost a grandmother but gained a boyfriend (fucktard fashion failure (testicle dust that dissipated into the wind (Queen Neferteeri)))

            I fear someone’s going to end up as the victim in a sensational, but grisly, murder. Debbie just gives me major creeps, and Donkey is so desperate to HAVE A BOYFRIEND that she won’t pay attention to warning signs that normal people would run from.

          • If anyone’s in danger, it’s Debbie, because if he ever tries to break it off with her, she will seriously lose her shit. GRANDMOTHER SENT YOU TO ME!!! YOU CAN’T BREAK UP WITH ME!!!! IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!!!!

            And then, yes, I could totally see her getting violent with him. He’s so skinny, it probably wouldn’t take much to off him. She could probably beat him to death fairly easily.

          • lost a grandmother but gained a boyfriend (fucktard fashion failure (testicle dust that dissipated into the wind (Queen Neferteeri)))

            She’s a suburban twit with a real trailer park dude. Even in pics, he gives off a totally creepy STAY AWAY vibe. To him, she comes off as having money and sophistication.

          • If it does end all “America’s Most Wanted”, can you imagine the fauxto’s they would show? And the silver thrusting micropeen video? bwahahahaha

        • Backpack over one shoulder after the age of 20 in a restaurant where a waitress brings you food=homeless. I think they are both one couch surf away from living on the streets. He’s prob. already a male prostitute and JA his pimp. Oh wait that was already confirmed on V-Day wasn’t it? When she was at a third rate “spa” for the big day.

          • That’s funny because the hustlers in my neighborhood ( its Baltimore’s historic hustler area I don’t know why, it’s very annoying) all wear backpacks.

          • uh, what about messenger bags? pretty much everyone in the bay area either looks homeless, is actually homeless, and/or carries a messenger bag or backpack. agree about debbois and donkey being on hard times, though.

            /slinks away with messenger bag on shoulder

          • Messenger bag totally different. And sorry didn’t mean to sound snotty. It’s just that backpacks are so weird after college age (in my mind). I also own a messenger bag.

          • Is this a newer thing? I remember people in Portland, Ore having backpacks all the time (people bike a lot). I also wear a backpack a lot, but I’m a PhD candidate/lecturer so I guess I still count as college age? But, my supervisor/professor here in Germany uses a backpack, and most of my professors in Sweden did as well.

          • brah carries his work laptop in a backpack. He’s an old, though, and it’s a cool old school military/adventurer looking pack, though, so it might be okay? I always see him hauling it by the strap, never over a shoulder, but wouldn’t it really be more awkward if he used both? I feel uncomfortable even picturing that.

            What is the stance on totes? (Not to be confused with tots.)

            I’m so confused!

  1. I’d love it if any time a catlady saw Donkey in the wild that the catlady would meow. Would be funny as hell if Donkey never knew when a meow was going to come her way. Only problem is, she’d then run after you [redcated] style and grab your arm and demand you cyst and deceased. Hey Donkey, you know what would be more threatening than a LOLyer letter….Debbie in his silver not-hot-pants, IRL.

    The malnourished micropeen thrusting and air-humping is truly one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever had the misfortune to view. Seeing Gummy Gimpy in real life = shudder.

  2. I actually couldn’t bring myself to watch her bit on CNN…mostly b/c when I saw that stupid fondant face on top of that awful pink travesty, I was just like no.

    That Youtube thing…dear God. The Modesto Strangler is really freaking me out. Those fucking shorts! THAT PEEN! And her shaking ass in the background!

    They are truly winning the marathon to the center of the earth. Or whatever the fuck he said while they were snorting more of Granny’s fortune.

    • I’ve been Dyspeptic here since the Jurassic, but when I see a handle-in-the-making like Marathon to the Center of the Earth, well, it IS tempting.

  3. I like that a donkey-in-the-wild sighting comes with a maw stuffing incident as compared to healthy, healing cuisine cooked by Chef D and pescatarianism. Just like she never drinks. Except for when she used to – like a fish in college – which she was quite open about on her blahg way back when. And then when she documented every single sip she took on her iPhone and posted it on her blahg. And then when she stated her legendary email to ex’s fiancee about possible “overlap” was drinking-induced and “not her finest moment”. No doubt there were plenty of “well, this doesn’t count” moments.

  4. Amazing that in a city as food centric as SF, with so many fantastic restaurants, they choose to eat at a chain, in an extremely touristy neighborhood. That’s our donkey!

    • Delurking to say: THIS!

      Go to Hillstone, fine. I’m no snob and god knows I ended up in a lot of touristy places/chains when I first moved here. But don’t claim you’re going for the food or the “best burger in town.” It will hurt your (alleged) foodie cred, dear Devin. Everyone in town has their favorite, for sure. It’s totally personal. But it’s usually Fish & Farm, Spruce, Nopa, Wayfare, ….

      Hillstone is a huge tourist trap and incredibly overpriced… minutes away from fantastic choices like La Mar, anywhere in the Ferry Building, etc, etc. If you’re new in a town, don’t make it seem like you know all the “cool hangouts” for foodies; it’s embarrassing. Explore, read 7X7 and the Tablehopper, try everything but be unassuming about it. Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking about… They really are infuriating.

      • Or Red’s Java House! But what do I know? I’m just a low-class nobody. I need to FIX THAT PROBLEM.

      • Back in days of yore, after a night of some drinking and much merriment, we wound up at some super greasy spoon-ish joint on some street near the freeway that had THE MOST AMAZING BURGERS I’VE EVER TASTED.

        I’ve never found it again. Well, I actually haven’t looked that hard since I gave up meat not long after, but I still dream of it. *sigh*

        It was somewhere over by that Sports Authority.

    • Exactly my thought just looking at the map. The most touristy of tourist places you could possibly find in wonderful San Francisco. And, a chain of course. Pathetic, sad, predictable.

  5. Burger Broiler recoiling at the sight / site / cite of Braying Batshit

    • So respectful of people who work for a living.

      PS white tights? PPS look at Lilly craning toward the burger.

      • Honestly where did she find those tights? Nurses don’t wear them anymore and I’m not sure that they even make those for little girls.

        • LOL, they still make ’em for little girls, I just bought some last fall. That effing headband on a grownass woman sure makes me cranky. How does someone not homeless manage to put outfits together that no one w/ choices would ever dream of wearing?


        • White tights… yeah, probably should not be worn after age 12. If they’re cable knit or something and you’re wearing it with something besides a cheap Lolita costume.

          The Julia formerly in my life loved dressing up as a little girl. Uh, boo boo, you’re 30. Not appropriate. At all.

  6. BUT what do you think of the broach on the pink blazer… a gift from OMG Devvie’s mom!?

    • I feel bad because Devin’s mom probably gave that very sweetly to Juliar. The one grudgingly nice-ish thing I’ll say about Donkey lately is that she wore it on her OMG CNN appearance even though it likely wasn’t particularly spendy (although it was paired with that hideous blazer, etc, soooo?).

      Also, I love the visual of Devin with a backpack on one shoulder. That has pretty much completed my DERP! impression of him.

      • It was really nice of her to wear it. I don’t mind the back pack. I am noticing it is more and more popular for professionals to carry laptops in back packs. Especially if walking/busing/water taxi-ing to work. Maybe its because I work next to Under Armor, but everyone walking in from the parking lot seems to wear a (Under Armor) back pack…and here I am thinking I’m classy while struggling with a briefcase!

        • Ha, you need to get out of Baltimoron! The guys always seem to be ten- fifteen years behind the times fashion-wise. So much Under Armor can’t deal. Do people really take the water taxi to work? I’d do that, maybe not on days like today…

          • I know! Seriously! I do not water taxi in…but both of my co-workers in the MKTG department do. One lives in Fells and the other bikes from Hampden to Fells and then takes the water taxi. We go out to lunch in Fells and Canton all the time by water taxi…it’s fun!

          • I also like Towson Hot Bagels. They have a bunch of good sandwiches, I like their “power house” sandwich (hummus, sprouts, a few other things). I used to see Mike Phelps there in the mornings when he was training and was on his way home to Fells.

          • Towson Hot Bagels is usually what we get in Canton. We have lots of desk errands to do back in Tidewater…losers who work hard and eat at our desks. Today day we are going to Townhouse Kitchen in Fells to celebrate a big win!

          • I <3 the power house! It reminds me of a sandwich I used to get all the time at Paper Moon diner (1999-2000 era)…long been off the menu!

          • I liked Townhouse until I realized that I really hate their GM. I kind of like Bagby Pizza which is technically in Little Italy, being just a block of so north of Townhouse/Ra. And that brick oven pizza place Chazz is good too, although overpriced. I don’t really like the Foreman/Wolf restaurants, they seem pretentious and overpriced to me. The Lebanese Taverna is pretty nice, they have good outdoor seating too, for Spring.

        • I wish I had the option of Water Taxi to work on nice days. I live pretty close to the Canton stop and I think from there it’s probably only 15 minutes to the Under Armour area, whereas by car you either need to take the Ft. McHenry tunnel or drive through downtown. Since I work in Washington this is a moot point for me.

          • Water Taxi is so much fun! We take clients out all the time. Usually go to waterfront kitchen b/c our other client is there all the time (living classrooms) and it is right at the stop so we are not losing valuable office time walking around. Last month we just got lunch from the 7-11 (so sad) in Fells so that we could stalk Veep–they were taping in the area…

          • Fells is probably more exciting and certainly less walking. Plus you can show clients where Homicide was filmed (right off of lower Broadway) and things like that. Fells is better in general, as long as you don’t have to park, especially since they’re ripping up that middle area between the North and South bound lanes of Broadway. And they demo-ing that area because of the Red Line station? It seems too soon (not going to be in service for at least 2 years)

          • The firm I used to work for is designing red line…I think they are still in design so no construction/demo yet. One of the architects I work with now designed the historical preservation of the facades in Fells. Basically a bunch a developers purchased blocks and blocks of homes in Fells, then formed a company together to construct codos…so they’ll eventually be residential.

          • “Stations” for red line in Fells will be really small…more like glorified bus stops. Above ground, in street, between the west bound and east bound tracks. In the city, they will be similar to underground metro stations. A small portico at street level and then stairs going underground. Large stations will only be at Bayview on the east side and, for sure, security square on the west side.

    • “Broach.” I am making the sound Sideshow Bob makes when he gets a rake in the face.

    • We got three for one humblebrags in just this dumb quote. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND I WAS ON CNN I DON”T EAT MEAT. Sit down and shut up, no one cares.

  7. God knows, Debbie looks like he could use a burger or 10. She should be encouraging this.

      • I just saw that photo the other day, her simulating fellatio on a piece of raw bacon mid-Pancake Era. And posting it, proudly, to Facebook. So off-putting.

  8. ……… does she not know hillston=houston’s? home of her favorite veggie burger, which BTW i tried (our office used to be located right across the st. from this particular hillstone) and it was disgusting. also, hi, please gtfo of my city. rosewood’s banquette’s still haven’t recovered from her trampling.

    • I am almost ashamed to say this but I had an amazing dinner at the Houston’s in Boca Raton in the fall. It’s true. I couldn’t believe it. But every course was really good; a couple of them were actually memorable. **hangs head**

      • No shame, Jacy. I was in Atlanta on a serious biznis laydee trip last year and I loved my very first trip to Houston’s. Don’t let the Donkey taint a perfectly enjoyable chain!

          • no, no shame in hillstone’s. i had a french dip one time that was as amazing cold from my fridge the next morning as it had been the night before. i meant that veggie burger she used to rave about was absolutely atrocious. just disgusting. i went back to work hungry that day.

  9. Wow, this is embarrassing. I never knew hillstone’s was a chain. We had a Houston’s in boston and then it burned down so they reopened it as Hillstone’s. I just assumed they changed the name because of the fire. And I actually love their burgers.

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