Oh Dear, Wendy Williams Doesn’t Have A Clue Who Julia A-A-A-Allison Is

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Oh, the braying. And so much hilarity when they flashed her hopeful father-in-law’s photo instead of Dick Cheney’s.

 

238 COMMENTS

    • She’s wearing one of those stupid bubble/pouffy skirts that have never, ever, done a fucking thing for her. PENCIL SKIRT DUMBASS.

      • I feel your exasperation, Jacy, but I must admit that I always love it when you get shouty. Problem is, not just people, the universe has been screaming at Julia to change her everything for years, but to no effect.

      • “Hey, don’t hate on MEN that wear fashionable clothes.

        Micah and I really hit it off, he reminded me A LOT of my BOYFRIEND Devin (did you know I HAVE a MAN?).

        They both have a manly , masculine appeal that makes them really attractive. I HAVE a boyfriend and I want to KEEP him forever, but a girl can still recognize an attractive man when he sees one, right? right?

        RIGHT?.”

  1. SHE IS NOT AN ELLE WRITER. WHY DOES IT SAY SHE WRITES FOR ELLE. SHE IS NOT A BRAVO STAR. WHAT IS REAL LIFE?

    • I don’t get why she wears the garish, cheap hooves for seated appearances. They don’t make you look taller and thinner sitting at the table, just tacky. Maybe she thinks it balances out the raft ass.

    • The hooves, the puffy cankles in the hooves, the ankle strap straining over the stripey black tights

      HOW WHY

      Huscat heard me snorting at the iPad and said, “Bitcoin news? Or a Horrible Woman update?”

  2. How exactly does trash talking fatties and celebrities jive with her new enlightened persona?

    And what the fuck is she thinking with that lipstick?

    • Yeah, she was supposed to have flounced out of that career. Yet here she is, gossiping about celebrities again. I thought it was bad karma, a waste of time, etc. I guess it’s OK when she does it.

      Is this how she and Debbie are “making the world a better place”? Maybe she had a mind-blowing, paradigm-shifting, life-changing ayahuasca vision that told her that she was put on earth to gossip about Britney Spears.

      • My (super luxury) Beach Home is kool & the gang. In Black vernacular, in addition to “you a jive turkey,” jive also means to ‘complement’ or ‘go with’ as in “that shit don’t really jive.” Jibe means the same, yes, but jive works too. For some people. Pet peeve notwithstanding.

        Donkey.

  3. I’m so pissed off about this. I love Wendy and its my sacred hour. Segment is about to come up. Motherfucker.

  4. To be honest, the other panelists are just as cringey. Howfuk is Julia Allison on a round table to discuss Chris Christie and his weight? Now she’s talking about the merits of “regular work for a star”. I just Kant.

    • Hearing people talk about keeping busy with regular work, “taking 3 days to just sit down,” the need to earn money when you’re in your 30s, and kids with bad teeth must have really winced her.

    • What’s to discuss about Christie’s weight? He is a big, burly, fat man. If he was elected Preznit, he might be the fattest Preznit ever, though I think the palm would still go to Taft.

      Fat dude is fat, so what? It’s not like he pulled a Mike Huckabee of losing 100+ pounds, writing a book about what a hero he was for losing weight, and then gaining it all back and more. One might argue that that suggested overoptimism or a failure to plan for reversals or something.

      • He went on Letterman the other night and played along with some fat jokes (like casually pulling a doughnut out of his pocket and taking a bite while Dave was talking and running down his favorite Letterman “Christie is fat” jokes) so people are talking about his weight again.

      • Wasn’t it Taft who got stuck in a bathtub because he was so big. And I’m sorry, I can’t take Wendy seriously when she can’t get facts straight. From McCain’s photo (her team) or Brit on American Idol (when she was on X Factor – I don’t watch either, I’m more of a Voice gal, but I still know that shit).

        And after watching that I feel dirty. And they call us catbitches?

      • And spkg of books, how convenient that Dr. Connie Mariano happens to have one for sale.

        What really surprises me is that while D0nkey was singing her praises & mentioning “navy”, she didn’t manage to bray about being in (former naval officer) Mark Kirk’s wedding. Would have been the perfect segue into how Britney won’t find a husband in Vegas.

    • I thought she was going to choke on the hypocrisy when she was dissing Christie for his weight. Ever look in the mirror, you chunky bitch?

    • She looks like Miss Piggy from the knees down. It pains me to say it because, man, I love Miss Piggy. Those shoes, with the mary jane strap, are muppet shoes.

    • Please start on the lipstick. It’s so gross to see it contrast with the inside of her mouth. She did this for the Miss Advised premiere and it’s so Joker-esque and makes me want to vom.

      • bwahahah! gay pirate. Brilliant!
        And I agree about the hideous sleeves. Ugh. Bish has NO fashion sense whatsoever and no concept of how to dress for her body. The sleeves end at a very unflattering length.
        But “gay pirate” is still making me laugh!

  5. Clearly a guest dropped out (Heather MacDonald from Chelsea Lately?) at the last minute and Julia and the other round table guests were scrapped together on the fly. That’s what it felt like anyways. Wendy’s a pro all the way but I could feel a bit of shade. That said, Julia was kind of on mute. Dumb outfit but that’s expected. She is not petite.

  6. What’s the cutesy resting her chin on her knuckles at the beginning? What a tool. “Look at me being interested!”

    • She really doesn’t have a single authentic bone in her body, does she? Everything she does looks rehearsed and badly so. Also, way to be natural in front of cameras, tv pro! As all other videos of her, this appearance makes wonderful material for media training workshops when you want to illustrage [spotted the typo, but leaving it in] what not to do.

      • When I did PR-ish things she was always my Goofus example. You’d be shocked how often clients thought her side-scrolling clusterfuck was a setup and the videos were of an actress who was trying to look like an inappropriate, oversharing asshole. The fact that she chose to call her “show” TMI did nothing to help me dispel the misconception.

        • “You’d be shocked how often clients thought her side-scrolling clusterfuck was a setup and the videos were of an actress who was trying to look like an inappropriate, oversharing asshole. ”

          Ha!

          Come to think of it, she actually could have made more than a few bucks, had all her output been turned into training materials. Hell, you could create an entire manual from this with themed chapters and all!

  7. Was she extra-micced or something? Her seal bark was especially noticeable and I swear I heard her breathing heavily at the beginning. Attractive.

  8. I can’t articulate how those heinous Minnie Mouse heels accentuate her lard ass BUT THEY DO. Seriously. How fuck? How does she manage to put herself together so badly?

    • It’s because the bright pink heels stop the eye, forcing the gaze to travel up and around the circus tent of mourning that is her skirt. She’s like two Nike swoops ass-to-ass.

      • “Circus tent of mourning.” Such appropriate encasing for the Raft Ass of Manipulative Grieving.

  9. First off I have no idea who Wendy Williams is, but I’m guessing “escapee from alternate universe where Oprah Winfrey became a stripper.”

    I first heard of Micah Jesse way back in 2007 on Gawker, when I said: “I wouldn’t hire this talentless assbung to do the PR for a free water-fueled Ferrari that turns cancer into chocolate.” I see he no longer claims to do PR: otherwise, no change there.

    Who is the other troll? Can’t hear sound on this thing and don’t think I want to.

    I will say when I saw the caption “too fat to be President?” I thought “Well, maybe not fat. Too stupid, crazy and talentless, certainly. ” Then it dawned on me that they weren’t discussing themselves.

    • +100 for that last quip, it’s gold.

      Don’t know who Micah Jesse is. Just, his gushing how “we” all want basket-case Britney, a mentally ill person with two young kids, to be running around the world, going on tour, making fab records.. he’s in the running for my Lol, You Silly Queen awards.

  10. It’s hours later, and I still can’t get over how badly she dresses herself. You know, the Donkdonk who’s been forced to cover fashion 59thousand times. Did she ever, oh I don’t know, so much as GLANCE at a runway during one of those 59,000 events? (Brings me back to all those interviews where she talked about pink or tiaras or HERSELF and I thought, “how hard would it be to google ‘upcoming fashion trends’ in the cab on the way over there – just to have a vague idea of what’s going on”)

    Plus – HomeDonk’s not that big. Now granted, seeing her in person is shocking – she looks enormous compared to every edited fauxto we’ve ever seen of her. But once you realize that she’s a regular sized adult and not – in fact – a 7th grader, you can see that she’s a perfectly normal size, thin even! And yet she dresses herself so poorly – so ridonkulously – that she comes off as three times her actual size.

    There’s Wendy (who probably weighs twice what she does) in a gorgeous blue dress (seriously, I cannot get over how good that dress looked on her even though it was at least a 14/16) looking beautiful and to her right? A girl – a “FASHION EXPERT” – who’s donned a super padded bra, a super poufy skirt* in a thick, textured material, with patterned tights that bring more attention to the calves, and giant pink hooves.

    SERIOUSLY? SHE’S ON TELEVISION? HOW FUCK.
    Ok rant over. Thank you for letting me type out my frustrations.
    *And Jacy is exactly right. Pencil skirts dumbs. Pencil skirts.

  11. TOTS OT:
    Isn’t someone here from Australia or New Zealand? Fig? Helena?

    I have an Elizabeth Hawthorne question.
    Does she have two sets of bottom teeth?
    I swear that’s what I’m seeing on Outrageous Fortune
    (weird aside: my spellchecker doesn’t recognize ‘Zealand’)

    • I’m from Nz, I’m only a sporadic commenter though.

      Two sets of bottom teeth? As in, at once? Or a spare set?

      • At once! I know, it’s a weird question, but oddities intrigue me (like Elizabeth Taylor’s two rows of eyelashes; friends kid’s 3rd set of teeth) & I couldn’t find much of anything online about her, so I thought it may at least be some down-home trivia.

        [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/10mkiea.png[/img]

      • I was going to mention Ethel, I also think she’s from NZ. Sorry I don’t know who the Two Sets of Teeth Lady is; fig and I are pretty much LITERALLY as far from NZ as humanly possible, I’m in Prague and fig somewhere in Deutschland (sorry I forgot where exactly).

      • Yep I’m from NZ. The only thing I know about her is that I worked for her father bout a million years ago and he was a dick.

  12. 5:32 “Now Vegas isn’t a place to go find a husband. Has anyone ever gone to Vegas to find a husband?”

    Britney Spears is going there to perform, she’s not on a crazed husband hunt like a ridiculous Donkey.

    BUT.. Although Vegas is not the place to go searching for a husband, REALITY TV is definitely the correct place to find a husband. Right, Donk?

    • Didn’t D0nkey & Meghannaise, in their quest to land a rich founder, go crash some tech conf in Vegas?

    • She comes off as so DATED with this “find a husband” talk…like she’s parroting what she overheard her mom’s friends saying at the University Club or something.

    • Fav part of the video was when the woman sitting next to Donk said this
      06:12 “She’s in her 30’s. She’s gotta face the demon. She has to understand that she has to work.” oh hahahaha! Sorry, was this about Britney or about Donk??

      Why did Donk even start talking about husband hunting? That had nothing to do with the topic. Also, I completely agree with other catpeepz about Donk’s huge ASS! I don’t usually go on about it, but Dear Greg, it looked ginormous. I also saw the sausage snappers!
      She dresses so completely inappropriately for her shape and coloring. It’s like she has reverse body dysmorphic disorder…she’s delusional in her belief that she looks good, when the opposite is true.

      She has a suitcase full of clothes for NYFW and THIS is the look she chose to display on TV? Anyone with a shred of style would have had so many wonderful outfits to choose from. I shudder to think about what she will prance around NYFW wearing…. and as for doing ‘prom’ theme this year, wasn’t prom theme last year with Devin and her in pink with her tiara in tow? She is developmentally stunted at PROMMMM. Pathetisad, indeed.

      • You shudder to think about the heinous frocks she’ll unleash at FW? I am giddily anticipating the horror show! This is right up there with birthcray madness and Valentine’s Day drama. Woo hoo hoo!

  13. Can’t get up my nerve to click, but oh, my donkey, did you really wear those hot pink clodhoppers with those black tights? Good lord. She will never press the learn button. What a clotheshorse, our Juliar.

  14. Anyone remember when Wendy Williams Show first started, when her color scheme looked liked Dunkin Donuts? I’d never heard of her & thought she was a tranny, it all looked like such a parody. Then she grew on me & I liked seeing her show get better, but I haven’t seen it in about a year & a half ’til today — now she just pisses me off, because I think if a black female president-hopeful had been called too fat she’d have been spewing a whole different take on things.

  15. I wonder what gauche overreaching hilarity on her part is behind this whine:

    @JuliaAllison: You know how on competition reality shows the contestants are always like “I’m not here to make friends!” all irritated?
    5:26 AM – 7 Feb 13

    @JuliaAllison: New York City has the “I’m not here to make friends” ethos.
    5:27 AM – 7 Feb 13

    • The funny thing is, during Julia’s desperate social-climbing days in NYC, no one epitomized the “I’m not here to make friends” attitude more than she did. Wasn’t she known for her sort of ruthless networking, snubbing nobodies and making plays for the somebodies? Always looking over the shoulder of the person talking to her looking for someone better? She wasn’t there to make friends either, and that’s why she’s now spending the day alone at the NYPL.

      I made a lot of friends in my time in NYC, the grown-up years, and still have a core of maybe ten good ones that I keep in touch with still. NYC is no different than any other place; making friends might be harder a bit because of the hectic pace, but far from impossible, if you show some kindness, interest in other people, etc. She’s blaming NYC, but she doesn’t have much talent for making friends anywhere. All her friendships that I know of have a mercenary feel, she and the other person mutually using each other. Add in her real talent for burning bridges, and there it is. Sad.

      • I think Jacy mentioned eons ago that she met Donk once in person, and Donk spent the short time they spoke looking over her shoulder scanning the room for other, more important, people to shmooze with.

        I’ll bet Donk wishes she’d have been nicer and not OBO’d her now! Heh.. 🙂

    • Bitch got blocked from the good shows I’m sure. Up next JA fibs about getting into the upcoming Vanity Fair Oscar party. You know she sells tickets to it just like the fashion shows. She is pathetic.

  16. [img]http://i.imgur.com/46Wsn2F.jpg?1[/img]

    This person is the boyfriend of which of the people seen below?

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/94gMMBg.jpg?1[/img]

  17. #1: People with short legs should not wear black tights with fuchsia shoes.

    #2: People whose sole ambition in their 20’s was to marry a wallet should not cast stones at fellow walleteers.

    #3: People who are “genetically female” should not look more like a gay male than the actual gay male sitting at the table.

    #4: see #2 – I still don’t understand how she can be so damn judgy about gold digging. Does anyone remember that Gawker photoshoot? With the creepy old dude? And creepier JA sucking on a cigar?

    • #1: People with short legs should not wear ankle straps!
      Who has the ointment? My canklehausen is flaring up so hard today.

    • Yes. Yes we do remember that. But, Julie is of very high moral character (and very enlightened now, too) and is totally in a position to pass judgement on other women who have strayed from the path of righteousness.

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/03kr3DU.jpg?1[/img]

          • Y U NO want more of this sexiness???
            😛

            [img]https://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/psychohosebeast.jpg[/img]

          • Looks like she’s wearing a diaper in that last pic. Diaper and orange troll doll hair. Whatta great look!

        • One of Julie’s photo shoots for Gawker from back in early 2007 I think.

          Possible from this, some “pin-up” photos nonsense.. but Gawker seems to have deleted some of the links. Did her “Reputation.com” shit actually work on them?

          http://gawker.com/236629/gawker-pinup-gallery-julia-allison-and-brooke-parkhurst
          (This also uses one of the photos.. http://gawker.com/249553/julia-allison-wrestles-with-zinczenko-relationship)

          There’s also some other good stuff.. Like the braying turned up to 11 when she got a parking ticket [video].

          http://gawker.com/248173/julia-allison-gets-a-parking-ticket-yes-were-sure

          • The dramatic change in her looks is just….astounding. She went from fit and sort of pretty to, well, what she is now.

          • I’ve never seen someone who wasn’t seriously ill deteriorate so rapidly!

          • She looked pretty good until 2008 (in spite of not knowing how to dress, no idea how to use cosmetics, having no manners, etc). Some cracks started showing up in the wall in 2009 and the walls came tumbling down in 2010. Which makes it surprising Jack McCain was willing to hit it & quit it in early 2011. By 2011 she looked busted. And then, on top of it – – such an a**hole.

          • She started on that downhill slope after JL dumped her. It threw her, because she thought she was SO fucking hot that she could get away with being a bitch and that he’d take it, because he’d want to have her as a trophy. Yes, bitch is seriously delusional.

        • yeah, this is when she tried to scrub the internet when she started dating pancakes. I remember trying to find some of these photos when I found RBD and was catching up on the trainwreck that is Jaba’s life. Some of them were a bit harder to track down because she’d gone all cease-and-desist and managed to get some of them taken down. This is actually the first time I’ve seen the old man/cigar photo. I’d read about it but hadn’t actually seen it. It is WAY more disgusting than I’d ever realised. God, she really is in love with herself, isn’t she. Even when I was super skinny and under 100 pounds I would never have dreamed of parading around doing fauxto shoots in my underwear, spreading my legs while lying on the lap of some random old guy. DISGUSTING.

          Julia Allison Baugher you disgust me.

          • Considering that she willingly — eagerly — posed for these pics for a Gawker fauxtoshoot that she knew would be publicly posted, why did she go all cease-and-desist on them? And why was her father going nutso threatening people here when his own burro shits so much in her own stall? We didn’t make her pose for those pics or any of the other heinous attention-whoring stunts she’s pulled off over the years, but we were somehow ruining her reputation???

            I’m pretty sure the old guy was a Craigslist find.

          • If Gawker paid for the fauxtoshoot, they probably have D0nkey’s hoofprint on an ironclad waiver, so how could she facilitate a takedown? I think she’s too much of a narcissist to want ’em hidden from her fans in the ‘stans & now that she’s read it here, she’ll probably be braying to Gawker to resurrect ’em.

          • I think it was only because of dating Pancakes. She was in future-Republican’s-wife personality back then, remember? It was all pearls and twin-sets. But you’re right; now that she’s desperate for attention again, she probably would want them up again.
            I couldn’t stomach watching the parking ticket video. How fake. Posturing and preening for the camera, trying to be noticed. I’m happy I wasn’t here for the Gawker days. It seemed like a really desperate, sad relationship. Hmm, so not much different from ALL her relationships?!

  18. Her terrible outfit, voice and personality aside I’m still annoyed with the show today. It’s Dick Fucking Cheney. How stupid are the people who work for Wendy Williams that they can’t differentiate him from John McCain.

    Also, really? Your paradigm shifted and you are on a show that is criticizing Britney Spears’ kids teeth? Really?

      • Could be. We’re like Brad’s crew in the movie Fight Club. We’re everywhere. We serve her food in restaurants, we change the oil in her car (if she even still has it), we check her pink baggage at the airport, we look through her hard drive at the Genius Bar in an Apple Store.. think about that, Donkey. 🙂

        • I imagine that many encounters with her lead to Googling then lurking here.

          • Not sure if she realizes this, but (having worked in food service many years ago in H.S.) her “don’t you know who I am” and staff abuse has probably resulted in her food containing significantly higher human-saliva/phlegm (or, “flem” as MMBH would say) content than the average customer.

            Food service people do not like assholes, Donk.

          • My father once said of Donald Trump that he was probably the world’s foremost authority on what waiters’ spit tasted like, whether he knew it or not.

          • That’s funny, Albie! But, to this day I always treat food service workers with respect, smile, thank them, and tip well (base pay for wait staff sucks most places, and is much lower than minimum wage). It can be a lousy gig, especially with customers like Donk.

            Of course I also treat anyone with respect (learn, Donkey), and also address the convenience store clerk as “sir” when he sells me my cup of coffee in the morning.

            It goes a long way.. people like dealing with people that treat them nice and respect them. And it usually results in much better service than using the “I’m better/higher-on-the-food-chain than you” approach.

            Donk is a lost cause though. She has to hold the record for a person having the highest opinion of themself, while being unemployed most of the time.

  19. Julia’s ass in that white seat looks like it’s in its 12th trimester. Oh that poor plastic seat could have snapped at any minute.

  20. She posted this on her FB page cause she’s proud of it?

    [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/10gbcm0.jpg[/img]

    • Lumps along jawline. That is weird looking.

      So she was on the teevee and made a whopping $450 or whatever the scale for talk shows is. Never stop hustling, Julie!

    • Excuse me, you don’t seem to understand:

      1) she’s wearing pink

      and

      2) was on TV.

      That’s as enviable as it gets in Donkula’s mushy brain.

      • Yes, rare comment of praise, the hair looks pretty good. Not too long, not to sausage curly. I am so over that kinda blowout hairdo bridal shower do overall, but it’s a big improvement for her, and the color is nice.

  21. How the hell is this queer on the right? What a minstrel show, blackface homosexual. Disgraceful affectation.

    • Assuming her eyesight was going, probably “My goodness, Peter told me something about Julia and a beard but I didn’t think she’d ever actually grow one!”

  22. I watched it with the sound.

    Wendy Williams can feel free to snack on a hot bowl of fat-free dicks any old time, assuming Pepto-Fag doesn’t polish them off the minute the dish hits the table.

    I’m not necessarily a fan of Governor Christie, but “too fat to be President?” Have none of these twits heard of President Taft?

    And I still have no idea who the deep-fried Real Housewife of Bayonne, New Jersey is.

  23. Delurking for the first time to say that the only reason people bully Christie is because he talked about his bulimia on the internet. Also, much like The Divine Miss Asshole here I believe that mockery is only okay when it is directed at others and not at me, so please be gentle with me.

    • Welcome! Here, take a seat in the chair I knitted entirely out of cat fur and snark.

      You actually got me with your comment. I was thinking “What? Christie had bulimia?? It wasn’t very successful.” hahaha joke’s on me.

      Oh, I see you’re scratching yourself madly. Sorry, I forgot to give the chair a flea treatment. um err oops! Delurk more often. I love “The Divine Miss Asshole”. Donk is just like her character in ‘Beaches’: “But enough about me, let’s talk about you… what do YOU think of me?”

      • Thank you for welcoming me so nicely. This snark chair is comfy. I don’t think that is what caused my itching though, I regretfully bought secondhand pelts from JA’s Facebook page and now I got the lice.
        I can’t tell you how many times I have fought to not comment on here through the years. I have been watching this crazy train barrel on for years, since the Gawker days in fact. I think I was always afraid that you all were so much funnier/smarter than wittle old me *skirt pull and hair twirl*. Thankfully I was recently been told to breathe through the fear and now look at me.

        • hahaha! Oh, the lulz. Keep ’em coming!
          I’m a newbie, only here since November-ish. I started reading about her past exploits and covered quite a lot but ow, it hurt my mind! I’m also in awe of the hilarious and witty catpeople and know that I can’t compete, but couldn’t resist being in such fine company.

          You on the other hand, should have delurked YEARS ago. Lice ridden pelts, skirt pulls and twirls, wheeeee! I can’t wait until the real basement folk are awake and get to welcome you properly. Only 2 comments in and you’re already funny. Damn, I’m jealous. D’you hear that, Julia? I’m jealous….but not of you! I’m glad you like the snark chair. Lets get some popcorn ready. With the fashion week debacle about to unfold, then valentines day (will Devvy be in the same city as her?) and then birthcray, it’s a great time to delurk and join in the frivolity!

        • OMG I am howling. Welcome, former lurker!! No need to worry about the wit of your comments — these two were hilarious.

          • Thank you guys!! I don’t know what it was about this video that put me over the edge and forced me out/in the basement but I’m very happy I did. I guess it was part “I can’t believe that someone allows this donkey on the teeves still” and part because she is on with Wendy effing Williams and still manages to look like more of a drag queen. You trying to upstage Wendy? That’s her game. How u doin’?

            I guess she was right. Just when you think things can’t get any stranger, they do.

            Nosferatu-tu: I fear that JA would only see the “You hear that Julia-I’m jealous” part of your comment. My guess would be that she wears something akin to horse blinders. Strong enough for a horse, but made for a donkey.

            Anyway, sorry for the long comment. I think it might be contact adderall high.

          • Welcome, IMDF! “Divine Miss Asshole” made me giggle like an asshole.

    • welcome to the basement!

      [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/57775e5399be6c32943eeb39fb4d0139/tumblr_mhsz2qyHMg1rjcfxro1_400.gif[/img]

      • LOL…I am thinking about re-arranging the living room and moving the scratch post…but I think my cat would kill me! At least attempt to smother me in my sleep!

  24. I kinda fell off the donk-wagon there for a bit when she became so boring that it was tedious to make it over here, but coming out of the lurky closet to say that this video is fucking priceless. Too hilarious.

    I especially like the bit where she’s braying about how Vegas is no place to find a husband.

    Bitch, sit down. Britney does not need to find herself a husband. She is worth several hundred millions. She’s not going to Vegas to find herself a man. She’s going there to WORK, which I understand is a foreign ass concept to you.

    THIS WOMAN. Why does she still exist?!

    • Forgive me for not having read pink is the new blog in 60 years, but I thought Britney Spears married her manager, the guy who looks like the cross between Don Johnson and Sam Merlotte from True Blood.

  25. Julia is now friends with Monika de Myer and 11 other people.

    Bwahaha. Our old mucker, Monika.

    Also, I gets the feeling Debbie is on the outs.

    • Since the time since Monika “worked” with Donkey, Monika got married to a guy with a professional job, bought a house, and had a daughter. So Monika is just another person that is going to make Donkey get all ragey about her own situation.

    • She is so exactly the type who would play the “OMG YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME MY GRANDMOTHER DIED!!!!” if he was showing even the slightest signs of pulling away. And suddenly we have all this bullshit about intimacy and Granny dying.

      That cryptic druggie FB message at 5 a.m. the other day was weird — seemed, as always, to have some ulterior motive, like making him think she was up to something.

      • Yes, doesn’t he remember that there are no coincidences?
        Granny died so she could meet him. If he runs screaming squealing into the night, Granny’s death would have been in vain. How selfish of DevDev if he so much as considers leaving Donkey. Doesn’t he have any respect for the dead??

        • My ex left me for some idiot who believed they were “meant to be, it was written in the stars” because his birthday fell on the same day of her father’s death. NPD tool that he is/was, he too believed this was a sign from above that he was special.

          I mean for fuck’s sake.

          • Yep, he’s a spechul snowflake too. The Ego has landed. You’re probably relieved, in hindsight, that he’s gone.

            My birthday falls on Groundhog Day. Does that mean I’m destined to be with Punxsutawney Phil? Or only that because I saw my own shadow I can stay curled up in bed for another 6 weeks. FFS is exactly right.

      • That’s EXACTLY what I thought. She wanted him to think she ran into an ex and maybe Donkey was doubting her girlfriend. She wanted Devin to sit up and take notice.,

        She’s probably mad because he’s having a great time in SF (wink, wink) and he’s not calling, texting, liking her bullshit on FB enough.

  26. Slightly OT, but I know I can trust you catladies for travel advice!

    I’m visiting Chicago soon (Evanston, specifically) and was wondering if you guys had any restaurant or sightseeing recommendations? I know Chicago is known for food, so suggestions for anything from cheap eats to local specialties – I’d love to try some great deep dish pizza! – is much appreciated. Thanks in advance, haters!
    (side note: after perusing maps – because my knowledge of IL geography is sadly lacking, I don’t love maps as much as JA – I was v. amused and a little scared to see that Wilmette and the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility is dangerously close to where I’ll be. To quote Seinfeld: the worlds are colliding!)

    • Cozy Noodle or Joy Yee’s! Oh, those aren’t deep dish. Giordano’s and Lou Malnati’s are both there. IIRC, Giordano’s was 50% off for students on Mondays, and it would get mobbed with us NU cheapos. That may have changed since I was last there? Other stuff: Kafein is a nice little coffee shop. Clarke’s Diner’s baked German pancake is tasty, if you’re into that sort of thing.

    • Besides the amazing deep dish pizza that will make you want to move to Chicago, there are two places I always go to when I visit.

      1. Cafe Iberico – good, inexpensive Spanish tapas where you get pitchers of sangria for not very much at all. It’s a little noisy in the evenings, but in a good energetic way.

      2. The Walnut Room (7th floor inside Macy’s that was formerly Marhsall Field’s) – A little touristy, but I have a soft spot for how old-school it is. It makes you feel like like you’re in the 50s and being very civilized by stopping for lunch and a drink while shopping in the big city. The waiters are in a tux and are very attentive. There are some slightly pricey things on the menu, but lots of cheap options as well.

    • Delurking momentarily to say you definitely need to make sure you get some Lou Malnati’s or Gino’s East. I grew up here and I still don’t think there is anything better.

      Also, get Al’s Beef with everything: hot giardiniera, peppers, and dipped. It is messy as fuck and amazing.

      You can’t go wrong with a Portillo’s hotdog, which are easy to find anywhere in the area. Make sure to get a slice of their chocolate cake.

      If you can make it into the city, try Big Star Taco. I love their fish tacos and guacamole.

      If you can get there early enough, next door is a place called Glazed and Infused with my favorite donuts in the world.

      Down the street is also Mindy’s Hot Chocolate, the best place to go if you need a sugar fix.

      Joy Yee is another great one for a huge menu of nearly every kind of Asian cuisine, huge portions, and Boba milk tea.

      Hope you enjoy it here! Sorry for popping, you cat ladies are all hilarious and I love putting off studying and reading here instead. *backs away slowly*

      • Hey, Full of Hormones and Sugar. Look deep into my pissholes-in-the-snow. You are feeling tacky, sooo tacky. Your whole body is contorted for the camera. You will hear nothing but the braying of my voice. Concentrate on your breathing. Notice how your legs are relaxing. Notice my chunky calves. Your muscles are getting very loose and relaxed. That will be the buttprint cleanse going through your system. Breathe through the fear. Breathe through the rank smell. Don’t back away. Don’t go to Guam. Stay here. Love me. LOOOOOOOVE ME!!! When I click my hooves together you will awake and remember only that you must continue to de-lurk. This is the only place I can get any attention. Comment. Post. Be my fan. I’m really nice! I’m always on trend, except when I use terms like ‘on trend’. By the way, what do you think of pink? How do you feel about Tiaras? What questions should I ask at fashion week? Did you know I have a boyfriend? I’M STILL RELEVANT!!

    • If you’re in Evanston, I recommend a tour of the Few Distillery. Moody’s is a great burger place not too far from Evanston in Rogers Park.

  27. That outfit is awful, awful, awful in ways that have already been stated, and her lipstick. God. But her hair looks less shitty than usual– she took some length off since the last time I saw it. She SHOULD just go for a chin-length blunt bob but of course she’ll never get rid of the sausage curlz. But still, it could definitely look worse.

    Now, this whole OMG TOO FAT TO BE PRESIDENT thing is fucking absurd and I hate all the people at that table, especially loud-ass WW. The body policing thing is gross. There are a shit-ton of unhealthy thin people out there, but if you’re a fatty you deserve everyone’s judgment and hate? You’re automatically a lazy, disgusting person who looks “ridiculous”? Give me a fucking break. You can’t tell how healthy a person is from looking at them. And practically no fat person on earth needs to be reminded they are fat. Guess what, they know. Ugh. Rage.

    • It really started pissing me off too, but these people are collectively too fucking stupid to realize how offensive and discriminatory their idiotic comments are, so I just choose to point and laugh instead. Let’s disqualify anyone with lots of cancer in their family too, because clearly they could die, and maybe just ugly people while we’re at it because we are savages.

    • I could see bringing up weight/health as a concern for a Presidential contender. But you’d have to balance it against other things, such as … gee, I dunno, the fact he was a highly effective U.S. Attorney, defeated an uber-wealthy (former CEO of Goldman Sachs) incumbent governor, and seems to have a clue about bipartisanship and crisis management. Of course, c’mon, this is Daytime trash TV. But as JFA says, Donk should pick a lane — are you still doing the trash TV circuit or are you trying to be an “englightened” person?

    • Saying that hot mess Donkey looks like a drag queen is an insult to Queens.

      RuPaul could do wonders for her but she would never listen.

  28. So… MareMare Beach Hair is in NYC right now. And she stopped by #omgNYFW.

    Any thoughts on whether she’ll avoid her former “sister” Donkey?

      • Unfortunately only dustings of snow in Maryland, kind of like the dandruff that can sometimes be seen on Mulia Mallison’s cap sleaves. My investigatory mentor Albie is snowed in up on the People’s Republic of Cambridge, at least according to a recent post on Smugnom.

  29. Happy Friday, catladies! I reversed some of her plastic surgery.

    [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/xdwnl0.jpg[/img]

    Captcha: plus or minus
    (Oh, Captcha: plus AND minus.)

    • The first plastic surgery was OK, it was really the 2nd (and 3rd?) plus the botox/juverderm/restylane) that screwed her up.

      Not to mention the eyebrow arches, the awful unnatural hair color, the cheap accessories, the chomper veneers, etc.

    • Better than the cut-rate work she’s had done on her face!

  30. Justin L. Jeffers ‏@FYGblog: @juliaallison great meeting you at the #MBFW tent. Look forward to seeing our interview up on #NBC.
    2:23 PM – 8 Feb 13

    • Hahahaha!

      Justin L. Jeffers lives in NYC where he works as an accountant and moonlights as the menswear blogger behind The Fine Young Gentleman; a blog concerning mens dress, fashion and style. He has been frequenting Nantucket for over 15 years and has yet to find a place that makes him happier. You can find more of his writings at http://www.thefineyounggentleman.com/.

    • And now FW-insider Julia has tweeted at Nicole Miller, “mother of 4. old lady. photographer. coffee drinker. car singer. Barrie Ontario”. Derp.

      @JuliaAllison: Really looking forward to @NicoleMiller #NYFW 🙂
      2:55 PM – 8 Feb 13

      Yes, the smiley says it all.

        • Yes. She confused NicoleMillerNYC (148,000 followers) with some nice lady in Canada (86 followers). [Insert obligatory math is hard joke.]

          • I…I just don’t know what to say *facepalm x 10*
            How much did her university education cost?!
            Is she seriously mentally challenged? srsly??

            *shakes head in bewilderment, picks jaw up from floor and ponders the existence of such utter stupidity*

          • And because she NEVER reads here, she won’t realise, will she? Until someone laughs at her on twitter and she starts tweleeting again.

      • Mic Flag To Nowhere would be a great user name.

  31. I can’t wait for the “this blizzard in New York makes me wish I had my MAN to snuggle with!” tweet. Also , this blizzard is bs in NYC. My office closed at 3pm and I went home and watched “The Deerhunter” and drank wine and now I ave the heebie jeebies and there’s like 2 inches of snow on the ground.

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