Bulletin: Donkey Has Not Tweeted/Facebooked in Four Days

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How odd. After a spew of tweets whining about the expense of car ownership, Donk returned to L.A. and has gone silent. And PencilDonk has changed his profile picture from a pink-y one taken at Burning Man to another shot of him in Pasadena and looking far more conservative but only slightly less gay. And no “like” from a donkey!

What could it mean? Even Donk’s grand Internet flouncings haven’t kept her off Twitter or Facebook for four days running. And generally, the only time she goes silent is when she’s been dumped hard.

Has she been dumped again? Did PencilDonk get weirded out by the public proclamations of love, her sorry finances and her inability to do her own dishes or cook? Did too much togetherness cause him to run fleeing into the night like so many others? Is that why she bailed on some Business Insider conference she had no business being invited to in the first place?

Or are they planning a wedding? Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please.

She was apparently on some chick’s radio show whom I’ve never heard of, but why the social media silence? Is something rotten in Donkmark?

210 COMMENTS

  1. Alright, it’s time to start the pool! We all know Donk never reads here; it’s currently 10:50 Donk Standard Time, what day and time will she post on Twitter or Facebook next?

  2. I also noticed that her Facebook relationship status no longer reads “In a Relationship with Devin Stetler” but now just “In a Relationship.” Something is definitely up.

    • Sounds like he removed his status of being in a relationship with her, but she hasn’t made the change yet? I think she got dumped.

    • But what does HIS say?

      BTW, these people that update their fb statuses with a 0-day hurry annoy the piss out of me. NO ONE CARES.

      • TELL ME ABOUT IT. One of my best friends has been on/off with her dumbass boyfriend for years. Every time they break up, she doesn’t tell anyone and announces it via “Jane Smith went from being in a relationship to single” on facebook. Which puts everyone in the awkward position of saying, “I saw Facebook, what happened?” Then, they get back together a few weeks later!

        The newest one was the Facebook breakup followed by a string of instagram posts with her claddagh promise ring facing forward. This girl is twenty seven, not seventeen. Ugh.

    • Sorry, sorry – false alarm. I could swear that when I checked a few minutes ago it just said “In a Relationship” but it says Devin Stetler still. Wishful thinking on my part, I guess. SSSF!

  3. My guess? Twinkerballs realized his meal ticket only entitled him to butt squirt juice and cranberry guacamole. If the grifter got grifted and then obo-ed, I owe Goat Soap a fruit basket. He could probably use some fiber right now.

    • Totally OT but while away the past weekend we ran into a shop for juice refreshment and picked out two. Both of our eyeglasses(olds) were buried in our suitcases so we were surprised that 2 small bottles of juice cost over $20. Long story short they were Blueprint Cleanse and tasted like shit and I LOVE ALL green juices. These were gross and huscats Pinapple shit juice concoction was so acidic that he spit it out on the street.

  4. Maybe he turned on Google Alerts for his name and was like WHOA DATING THIS CHICK JUST LEFT ONE HELL OF A FUCKING INTERNET LEGACY.

    Probably wishes he could trade it in for a case of the clap.

    • True. Devin Stetler’s Google results must look like a Donkey threw up on them. Maybe Devin Stetler will use better judgement [sic] when choosing Devin Stetler’s next potential beard. Devin Stetler’s choice was a particularly reckless one for someone like Devin Stetler who didn’t have much of an internet hoofprint to begin with. Beware, freelancers: You lie down with Donkeys, you get up with even fewer employment options.

      Devin Stetler.

        • Why, yes! I am talking about Devin Stetler, freelance web designer. Do you know Devin Stetler? I hear Devin Stetler’s Donkey fetish is in doubt, but about Devin Stetler’s love of shortly shorts and Muppet fur coats there can be no debate.

          Devin Stetler: lover of synthetics.

        • Devin Stetler is an enigma wrapped in a fart poorly concealed by a pine scented air freshener in a z-class Mercedes. To know Devin Stetler is to love Devin Stetler. To love Devin Stetler is to wonder when you last had a tetanus shot and if the free clinic offers a test for hoof and maw disease.

          Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate Devin Stetler…without buying him dinner first. Devin Stetler is legal tender on Fire Island.

      • Monica DeMyer was disappointed that she didn’t get to shoot and photoshop the hell out of Devin Stetler riding a donkey.

    • I love that one of Devin Stetler’s first google results is a RBD post about “America’s Favorite Second Date Blow Job Queen”

  5. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I want to start the marriage pool because their wedding would be epic; on the level of Chuck & Di. PLEASE DON’T MESS THIS UP, JULIA!

    Wedding Date: February 14, 2014 (because of the symmetry)
    Wedding Dress: Vera Wang (because she has no imagination and Vera’s no hack)
    Groom: Pink cumberbun (because they both like that)
    Flowers: Pink Roses (because, obviously)
    Bridesmaid Dresses: Pink (because, because, because)

  6. Donk’s radio silence for 4 days is like Mt. Vesuvius building up for it’s next erruption.. This could be good.

    [img]http://www.nasa.gov/images/content/49105main_popcorn.jpg[/img]

      • She fucks up every relationship she ever enters into with her indiscretions and public humiliations of the dude and fails to learn from her eight billion past mistakes. I won’t feel sorry for her if she got dumped again. You are kind.

        • Oh, I don’t feel sorry for her if she got dumped. But I wouldn’t want to see my worst enemy wandering the street weeping.

          • Yeah I do feel crappy thinking of her with no fight left in her, just wandering around bawling, especially when it’s accompanied with zero tweets. Is this normal?

          • I would. And when I saw that person wandering the street weeping, I would yell: “Karma’s a bitch, motherfucker!

            But that’s just me, and I only really have one enemy.

          • Don’t be so hard on yourselves! It’s sweet that you’re feeling compassion. I probably should. And then I remember the email to the fiancee … and the woman in the Trader Joe’s parking lot … and the endless lies about Pancakes … and the harassment of innocent commenters and all the lies about that … and I feel nothing for her.

          • No where in that tweet does it say she was weeping, just “Are you okay? (had us worried)”.

            They may have seen the latest incarnation of her face post surgery and were shocked.

          • It’s almost certain that if Donkey were weeping in the streets, it would be because of something she totally brought on herself. Stuff like the email to the fiancee, outing [redacted]’s alleged mental illness and hygiene issues (a bit hypocritical on that last one), the “Jack McCain’s lawyer” intimidations, Charlsie, Bolt Bus Bitch, and so on.

          • She’s probably been caught snooping in PencilDonk’s email or phone, has been busted, and is losing it. Lilly is probably just another convenient cover story.

          • Here is what she’s really doing:

            She rewriting history. She and THE BF are probably over, and so she is calculating how she can sweep this one under the rug. Silence for a while. Then she will go on some vague enlightenment rant. Followed by another rabid scramble for self promotion.

            Once this is over, Jacy will get an email about how Devin was “a good kid” and they were never serious. C’mon, he’s not a McCain. They never shares a home in coronado or talked about marriage. No, he’s more of an Andrew Jelly D B. At most he might be a prop to slap if Malvised ever gets another season, but nothing more.

          • I’m not short of Donk exposure. She spent years attempting to fuck with a loved one. But Loved One has since risen to a Donk-proof level of her profession and now views the Braying One with a certain amused detachment.

            That’s right, Donkey. At least one of your former targets sees you as a developmentally challenged Weeble who can’t even exhibit real malice anymore. Let that sink in while you hoover up those chocolate bars.

          • Minus the reality show, she’s everything Donkey fully expected to be. That makes it a thousand times easier to dismiss Donkey as lower than dirt and not worthy of her contempt.

            I’m still here, so clearly my mileage varies.

    • This dude is also friends with Toilet Julia, so I went over to her Twitter and she is tweeting up a storm about all her exciting social events with her sweetie Lewish and her BFF Taryn and her new BFF Shira Lazar…curiouser and curiouser…

      • Social Media Week Los Angeles is going on this week, and the parties are connected to that. Maybe she bailed on the one in NY and then couldn’t grift her way in?

        Curiouser and curiouser indeed.

    • I know when I am concerned about a friend I send them a public tweet instead of picking up the phone. God her “friends” are tools.

    • I’m sure she was just walking around downtown LA’s dilapidated storefronts, overly-distressed because we manufacture all this crap.

  7. I want a wedding, gregdamnit! Not another, “He was the love of my life. He completed me for the entire three weeks we were together” bullshit. I’m tired of breakup cray. I want wedding cray.

    • What if her parents told her she isn’t allowed to marry Devin Stetler and she is crying about not having the wedding of her dreams because she would never elope. Okay, my theories are a little too lofty now.

      • You might be closer than you think. The Donkey [who was] in my life married his second choice of second spouse because his parents were going to cut him off financially and make him take his son back to raise if he married the girl they [justifiably*] disapproved of.

        Yes, that logic is fucked up, as are the people involved.

        * drug convictions in a variety of jurisdictions.

        • Yeah, but it’s not as if she has a back-up guy who’d marry her. She’s not exactly sought after. We still don’t know if the human Barbie doll will take one for the team and marry her.

  8. I dunno, usually breakups come with proclamations of HAPPINESS as they’re occurring. This might be without precedent, which means, finally, A NEW STORYLINE.

    IS THE SEASON PREMIERE HERE, FOLKS???

  9. I don’t know if anyone has read this, but I think it says a lot about Julia’s issues/the general insidiousness of the California “self-help” racket. Especially the part where it says that the key to happiness does not exist in a vacuum, it comes from a life well lived. It makes me a little sad when I realize that she/the other NPD’s in my life that I substitute her for will never know that.

    http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/22/america-the-anxious/?src=me&ref=general

  10. Here’s my guess.

    Blondie Girl called her– no season 2.

    She cried a little at dinner one night.

    PencilDonk: “What’s wrong, honey?”
    Donk: (in between hoovering a bowl of marshmallow fluff) “I *sob* don’t get *sniffle* to be on *sniff* MY SHOW ANYMORE!!!!! *full-on bawling*”
    PencilDonk: “Oh honey, I’m sorry…”

    (fast-forward 12 hours to the following phone call)

    Donk: “HI HONEY!”
    PencilDonk: “I’m breaking up with you.”
    Donk: “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????”
    PencilDonk: (rambling explanation that covers for the fact that she was his meal ticket and etc etc)

  11. I shudder to think about this possibility, but what if something has happend to Lily?

    Also, SSSF if this has been discussed before, but has anyone noticed that Devin is subscribed to Lewis Howes on Facebook? As in the failed date of Miss Advised co-star/matchmaker Amy Laurent. That’s weird, right?

    • Lewish was Julie’s friend first, and he is now dating Toilet, as the lovely and talented Pink Palatian said.

      Of course Julie was a total douchecanoe and bragged that Lewish was dating Toilet as a diss to Amy on the Andy Cohen show. Because, whatever.

    • She NEVER reads here. She replied to the tweet saying something vague about thinking something had happened to Lilly. But Lilly is fine so it’a all okay!

      Meanwhile, DONKEY: Take care of your dog you asshole. If something bad happens to her it’s because you are a shitty dog owner.

      • So she corrects the record regarding Lily but not Devin Stetler?

        Hmmmm, leads me to believe she was really crying about Devin Stetler. Though I’m 100% rooting for a wedding with Devin Stetler. No one has put up with our Julie like Devin Stetler and I expect this Donkey and Devin Stetler to go the distance!

  12. Did Devin’s page ever say he was in a relationship with Julia Allison? Because it doesn’t now (at least not publicly/non-friends).

    • It never has to non-friends. I think upthread is right about how it wouldn’t say his name on Julia’s page if he wasn’t part of it.

      • well that’s encouraging for the relationship – seeing as how he has no problem publicly posting ridiculous pictures of himself

    • Maybe that’s why that other dude was so worried about her—his wife saw her looking all weird and glowing yellow and thought she had the jaundice.

  13. She’s probably too busy with a project, or preparing for a job interview, to post much. Or she and her boyfriend have gone on a much deserved vacation and want a little privacy. I think she’s writing a book, so she’s probably forcing herself to buckle down and work on it without any distractions.

    APRIL FOOL’S!!! (And I really hope nothing has happened to cutie Lily.)

    OT: Today I was trying to explain to a fellow tourist why the thing he was eating was called a burrito. As he, I, the restaurant, and the country we are in speak 4 separate languages, I had to resort to gestures and pantomime (hands on my head like ears, mouth open as if to bray). (Yes, in public. For the sake of international relations.) Should have just shown him this site.

  14. she responded on twitter that “I thought something had happened to lily”

    ugh. hope the dog’s ok. Julia still has shit friends for tweeting at her.

      • It’s in “all” not “no replies” view of her profile and reads:

        Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison @ScottSpiro – yes, thank you. I thought something happened to Lilly and couldn’t breathe. Lilly (and me) are fine.

        /end creepin’

        • Ohhhhhh. I see. Thx for the tip.

          1. For a writer, her grammar sucks. Should be Lilly [sic] and I are fine.

          2. Does this mean Lilly is elsewhere? Did Momsers text that the dog was dead? That she was missing? That “something happened”? This doesn’t make sense, except it does when the explanation is she’s lying.

  15. I wonder what portion of any hypothetical break up was spent yelling ‘this isn’t part of my narrative!’?

  16. and in old tweet news:

    Sheila McClear ‏@sheilamcclear When you’re seated next to someone you used to tear apart relentlessly on Gawker at a fashion show. Hi Julia! (13 Sep 12)

    (I only catch up on twitter once in a thousand years, idk, I still lol’d)

      • Sheila is super cool. For some reason I always think of her in comparison to JA. A real journalist, who writes for real publications about real things and has a real book, and is also cool with good taste etc. What JA wishes she were, and will never be.

  17. The whole ‘something happened to Lily’ is a lie. Can you imagine all the frantic tweeting and drama Julia would engage in if she really thought something happened to her dog? She would milk it for all it was worth.

    • Exactly.

      Who remembers another time D0nkey was a-hoof in the wee hours of the morning? That time she’d been walking all night & just coincidentally ended up at the all night diner by Prom King’s appt, that’s when.

      Goat Soap probably got some kind of gig & threw D0nkey to the curb, & now, right on cue, Mulia Mallison is mourning her gay BF who never was.

  18. Seems unlikely Goat Soap would dump Julia, at least right now. He needs a beard just as much as she needs a bf to prove she’s “changed!” and “so happy!”

    He also recently sunk a bunch of time into traveling aimlessly with Mulia. Of course, the opportunity cost is pretty low for him because he has no job. And Bank of Dadster was most likely footing the bills…

        • Oh, McMama W/Out Pity, I think … I strolled by GOMI & saw the post about the shuttering of a blog that Afghani posts the occasional update about here on RBD, so I was just razzing him in case he missed his cue to Firts!!!1!

          • In fairness to me, it should be pointed out that I predicted she’d be forced to give up the blog by October, which is when the Bankruptcy Trustee decides whether to recommend she be prosecuted for Bankruptcy Fraud. He’s already opened an aversarial case against her and tossed her attempt at Ch 7 BK in the trash. All motions are due to the biled by 10/9, I believe. The sh*t hasn’t hit the fan for MckMama just yet…

  19. OT-reading the new Vanity Fair and King and Queens of Silicon Valley the 2012 New Establishment and inexplicably Donk is no where to be found. Maybe that’s why she’s gone underground. She yet again realizes that she’s not relevant in the circles she so craves to accepted.

    • I just read that last night, and all I could think of was A Donkey’s seething jealousy. Especially that double-page “women in tech” photo. Maybe that’s why she’s bummed out lately. Not part of the club, they don’t want to ever her.

      • Hahaha it’s so funny I actually thought about her as I was reading through the list. None of her grifter “angels” made the list (to my limited knowledge)

  20. Has this been discussed?

    Christine Kelly posted to Julia Allison
    8 hours ago
    Ilana made me download this App and you/Lilly were the test photo. Also, you forgot my birthday.

    Like · Share

    Oooo, and there’s an awesome pic with it of “SAVE LILY’ that cat lady Christine Kelly mocked up – can someone grab? Can’t believe the Donkey hasn’t taken this double diss down.

  21. My husband will only tolerate so many donkey stories, but, after a particularly hard day, will ask me to “bring the stupid” and tell him a tale. Last night, I told him about Lilly not breathing and “me are fine”. It’s his new favorite thing ever. All morning, I’ve been entertained with misused pronouns and speculation about a small animal in respiratory arrest. He said that Lilly would be So Blessed (an overused phrase in our home for some time now) to be in a vegetative state due to lack of oxygen to the brain. Better than suffering constant abuse and neglect.

    Thank you, cat ladies, for the laughs.

  22. What’s the longest that Donkey has gone dark for a reason that wasn’t explained in advance of her silence?

  23. Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison @ScottSpiro – yes, thank you. I thought something happened to Lilly and couldn’t breathe. Lilly (and me) are fine.

    I took this to mean that Julia couldn’t breathe. An attempt to explain to her frenemies why she was crying/having a fit/rolling around oinking in public.

    • I still take it to mean that Julia was the one who couldn’t breathe because she thought something happened to Lily, and that’s why they saw her distressed. Between that and “me are fine”, she is the worst greg-damn writer.

  24. Re: the concerned friend (frenemy) tweet. What are the odds that somebody who knows Julia would randomly pass by and recognize her, and also notice that she was upset? My money’s on a failed gatecrashing attempt by a donkey, and a bit of schadenfreude from someone who was actually invited.

  25. I are worried about her. (And, please, why would she “think something happened to Lilly” then be in public emoting about it?). But I’m guessing she are happy now, seeing all of the concern coming from this site/cite/sight she never reads.

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