What In The Holy Hell?


The Burning Man pictures are up. And what did we learn? Black Rock City is a magical place where Muppets are brutally murdered by their own kind:

Julia Allison spent the week fighting back the need to take a gigantic dump:

Julia Allison apparently died of dehydration and heat stroke and reanimated:

And the boyfriend who I still know nothing about is allergic to shirts/muscle tone. (We need to think of a better nickname, y’all! Goat Soap simple doesn’t roll off the tongue.)

Finally, it takes a special talent to be the biggest asshole amongst thousands of sweaty, obnoxious hippies.

There is, it seems, a terrible amount of misjudgment in Black Rock City.


  1. i’m MOST CURIOUS to hear Goat Soap’s parents’ assessment of their son’s pink rainbow/gay hustler attire.

  2. She cheery pics all the pictures where they both look decent but if you look at that one pic on Michael Elleberg page that I posted… they both look busted.

    Codename Gummy Smile?

  3. So basically Burning Man was just another venue to contort herself and take more fauxtos? There is not one candid, nor one photo of her participating in anything.

    She is truly a waste of space.

    • the way she tilts her pelvis back to make herself look skinny… so unnatural, and it really does look like she needs to take a dump, plus then her lower half looks backward, like a barbie that was put together with the legs facing the wrong way from the rest of the body (eg. picture with elmo)

      • I noticed that too. In every picture she either leans her right hip way out and back, or she’s standing legs spread out and arms spread high. It’s almost as if she practiced in the mirror pre-Burning Man to find the poses that make her look the skinniest.

      • She also has to stand 3 feet behind everyone in a group picture. Must be so she can lean her tatas forward and thrust that hip the way she likes it.

    • On the pink message board behind the 70s gay porn dude’s head — “Welcome to Devin & Julie’s RV!” So, two people took one giant RV just for themselves? How very considerate.

      You know that trip to Walmart was just to outfit the RV they shared. Pink message board, pink rug, pink bedding, pink fridge tape, pink towel… see here, here, and here.

      • Everything in there looks brand new. She bought every piece of pink and rainbow ticky-tack that Walmart could supply, and it will end up in a landfill within a week.

      • I am so NOT surprised!

        I did not believe for a minute that she was going to spend 10 days in a tent, despite having twitted to the world that that was exactly her plan.

      • Are all those matching booty shorts (how could she get them over that raft ass???) and sequined bras for him or for her?


        • I was going to say: “Look how much she imposes herself and her likes (pink, tutus, princess signs, etc…) into this relationship” but after looking at him, I think it’s equally him, too.

          Suck it, catladies…Julia’s found her perfect girlfriend.

        • This photo is a perfect metaphor for the way Donkey thinks.

          Pink with stuffed animals like a child.

          And her bought and paid-for whore costumes, I mean “artistic expressions”, are one idea but in different colors. Just like all of her business-lady, life-changing, for all the girls, Donkey being Donkey ideas are slight variations of the same theme. Cunty, without a modicum of self-awareness.

  4. and wait…a GIANT LIKE BUTTON BILLBOARD? i thought you were supposed to leave the brands and crap outside black rock city. judgement abounds!

  5. Round two’s being exported from Photoshop!



    • Her smirk says, “Don’t you wish you were ME, standing in an alkaline desert with a totally hetero man who’s wearing a spirit hood, a Chippendales bowtie, and a bathhouse locker key, while listening to techno blaring from everywhere and trying so hard, OMG you wouldn’t believe, trying to ignore the hot young girls WHO ARE THEY why are they here they’re too young oh Jesus I need to lie down in the RV why doesn’t anyone ask for my autograph christ my feet itch like you wouldn’t believe and I think it’s gonna hurt when I pee and goddamn it you forgot the baby wipes again didn’t you why can’t you make me happy for just ONE DAY that’s all I ask oh I think those people recognize me from my show hi hi yes it’s me I luv Burning Man!…”

  6. so i guess ali shanti got over the fact that julia never paid her $1750 for last year’s burning man?


    • So I guess she wasn’t fazed at all when the people from OMG Elle came to her house and totally made fun of her on national TV for having that ridiculous Princess Parking sign in her room?

    • I wonder how long it took her to do her makeup everyday. To stand in the fucking dessert with a bunch of people too high and drunk to even notice. I’ll bet she did three rounds of makeup a day.

      Sad. Lame. Back around to sad.

      • Notice the other women at BM have not a stitch of makeup on their faces. Completely au naturale. And then there’s Donk with a full face of heavy foundation, heavy eye makeup, and different shades of lipstick for each outfit. What a dork! Completely oblivious to the culture of BM.

    • I’m guessing her side isn’t actually two straight lines. I’d be willing to bet she took all these pictures inside of 72 hours, then spent the next four days fauxtoshopping

      • Good catch. I’m usually so oblivious to the photochopping until someone points it out and then it’s SO OBVIOUS. Definitely chopped her sides here.

  7. [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/977ad2d1.jpg[/img]

    She’s a real life entrepreneur now:


  8. [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/23522507.jpg[/img]


  9. ah, the emporium of grift, where the fair maidens of the playa model the wears that totally have no brand names or tags on them and absolutely were not brought to burning man as shill material.
    the pink fur trim really makes her eyes pop, don’t you think?


  10. I’m really not getting what’s so spiritual about dressing up as Rainbow Brite’s washed-up whore of a grandmother.

    • It’s all grifted, be sure of it. She didn’t just go hand out costumes out of the kindness of her heart – pretty sure Yandy and that tutu co. gave her money to do it.

        • If she got some great photos of people in those tutus… an I’m guessing she didn’t – with the gorgeous backdrop of Burning Man – that would be very worth it to them. I’m not saying they paid 5k but they paid something.

          • Exactly. Where are the pictures of all the happy customers modelling their free costumes and tutus? Or even something more anonymous like the store tent full of excited burners browsing the goods?
            Isn’t that what she’s being paid to post to her 100,000+ rented twitbots and legion of RandiZ gifted afghani fans? Isn’t that how a serious bidness lady, founder, entrepreneur, journalist, reality show star, dating columnist, angel investor, public speaker monetizes her brand?
            But no. Because the all the world needs is eleventy billion more pictures of JABa crushing her tittehs up against some guy(s).

  11. I’m only sad for Julie bc it looks like sexy times may resemble throwing a football down a wide hallway.

    • that was my first thought, too. between the sweating into man-made fibers for more than one+ week and the playa dust that had to have made its way into her crotch (and, if they actually did bang at any point, that whole friction/fluid situation), she’s going to be spending the next two weeks sitting on an ice pack. but luckily she has her whipping boy to apply copious amounts of monistat whenever she brays.

    • Actually there are several what are indelicately called “pussy wash” sites available on the playa to combat just such delicate problems. At least one krewe also offers ass washes. Yeah, I know….hippies, huh?

  12. All I can think about is the funk that must have emanated from her crotch when she peeled off those metallic shorts.

  13. Looking at these pictures, I’m thinking she may have finally found a “beau” who is as big a tool as she is.

  14. Well cuntbunnies, hold on to your hoop skirts, I think this donkey’s grazing her way down the aisle. Is he not who we all kind of thought she’d finally end up with? No Ivy degree, so-so employment, major gay-face/probable tendencies and a penchant for costumes. I’ve been watching this shitshow since before Jakob, so with my Doctorate in Donk opinion, these photos are undeniable…he’s truly fucking perfect for her. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I thinks he’s the one. Mazel burros, Mazel.

    • I’m so with you here, also been watching for donkey’s years, so to speak. Looking through the photos of them it struck me that finally, finally we have a romance. He’s so emasculatedly, pinkily, hers now. I’m so excited. (Although a little concerned for Goatsoap’s mum, wouldn’t wish Donk on any mother.)

      Also, the dress up boxes stuffed with little girl costumes. What the fuck. Is she five years old? I used to think she stalled at fourteen. I was wrong.

    • I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE WEDDING. Go on, Goat Soap, make the biggest mistake of your life and PROPOSE, dammit. Also, good fucking luck.

    • Yes yes yes, agreed on all counts. I am rooting for these two idiots! Derp proposal! Derp wedding! Hopefully a decision not to ever breed!!

  15. I know she’ll OBO him at the first opportunity, but she really seems to have met her match with this guy. He actually looks like he’s enjoying being there, wearing those ridiculous costumes and contorting for photo’s with the Donk.

    • Agreed. I can’t imagine the obo though. Those days seem to have dried up.

    • What I’m shocked about is that Devin Stetler wouldn’t be worried that Devin Stetler would be working with a client who would Google Devin Stetler and see that Devin Stetler likes to be dressed up like a gay hustler from the 80’s by Devin Stetler’s Donkeyfriend. And by a client or company seeing Devin Stetler tagged all over his Donkeyfriend’s Facebook, Devin Stetler might not be taken as seriously by a client and said client might not want to hire Devin Stetler based on Devin Stetler’s Burning Man clothing choices and Devin Stetler’s association with a Donkey.

        • You mean Devin Stetler, small-time freelance code monkey, men’s fashion consultant, crab steamer, beer drinker, cigar smoker and soap maker for the Learning Annex set? That genial gummy metrosexual of midtown LA.?

          • Yes, THE Devin Stetler, the one unwittingly buttfreaking his own name before he even has one by cavorting with a psycho donkey in a quicksand mirage and sending a slew of photos out into the world as proof.

            He should’ve saved his time and gone DIRECTLY into gay porn.

          • You think a codemonkey would really lose out on jobs because he’s dating this chick? I’ve been in software development for years and… I really don’t think it’ll make much of a difference. He’s not representing anyone’s brand, after all. And odd characters are pretty much expected in this business.

          • Do you think Devin Stetler’s employers might care that he has no balls? I know that this would give me pause.

  16. The photos of ME ME ME ME at events where there are other people is the most terrifying part of the sickness

  17. There is zero percent chance this guy isn’t gay. Zero.

    She will announce they are moving in together within the next monday. Guaranteed.

    I wouldn’t be surprised by an engagement within the next 2 months.

    • This…. I take back my rant from a month ago…
      I will go slink off and sit in a corner but hold onto my balls and thank the Lord.

        • You never know what’s between a man’s legs until you see it and even then there is the whole grower / shower thing to consider.

          His legs are kinda crooked & skinney, there may be some meat & potatoes hanging between his thighs. Or maybe not.

          Regardless, gay or not, hung or not, he is soon going to see the true Donkey and run away screaming into the desert.

          • I agree. I think he’s attractive, especially his face, but that’s just me. Yes, it looks like he’s got bigger nipples than actual pecker and nuts in some of those pics, but for a skinny guy without a FUPA and thick man thighs filling up his underdrawers, it’s really hard to know how dickless or packed he is. Either way, I said it once and I’ll say it again: Donk should’ve stuffed his briefs with a dicken cutlet.

          • I definitely think this further validates the theory that she grabbed the nearest guy for when MissAdvised aired — especially knowing that JellyD’s spectacular donkey-dumping was looming large. She grabbed this sweet gay guy who likes to dress up like she does.

    • Yep, just chiming in here to repeat the obvious.

      He’s a handsome man. He is also a gay man. No big thang.

      My little brother David wore those same dolphin shorts when he was in 2nd grade, in 1978.

      And both of their outfits are just asking for coochie sand.

      Nicole out

  18. Whoever said she was madly putting on costumes and posing for pics in the first day or two appears to be right. The bikes and rv really don’t look dusty at all in these.

    • Burning Man is a huge challenge for people who are already in dysfunctional relationships. The principal of radical self reliance is so at odds with Julia Allison’s character it’s unlikely that she remained very “spiritual” for the length of the event.

      I strongly suspect they broke up on the drive home and are still fighting about the RV deposit as we speak.

      • But where’s the radical self-reliance? Or anything challenging at all? They had an RV with power, toilet, shower, bed, microwave, and refrigerator filled with food and water. They probably had a TV, stereo, and DVD player, not to mentions their laptops for some radical Photoshopping.

        If this trip challenged their relationship, how do they survive in the default world?

    • The thing that strikes me in all of her pictures is how ‘clean’ her hair looks (relative to other Burners, that is, we all know her shit is stank). It is rarely playa dust white, or developing the tell-tale rope quality (playa dreds) that just about anyone with long hair gets after a couple of days out there, even with daily showers (since it is hard to rinse the dust out completely, not without using a shit ton of water, which you cart in yourself). I’ve never been an RV camper, though, so maybe the shower situation is slightly better, but still, even girls I know who HAVE RV camped find their hair white by the time dawn comes rolling (Har Har, ecstasy pun!) around after a long night out dancing and sight-seeing.

      It just makes me think she spent the bulk of her time in her RV. Which is just sad.

      • It is sad. I’m curious how much they ventured out. I’d guess two nights, judging by the two different nighttime costumes. But daytime is harder to determine…

        It’s odd that she hasn’t been tagged in anyone else’s pictures yet. Like, did they talk to no one?! Why didn’t she invade the camps of all the Alexias and Nick Biltons for photo ops?

  19. There is nothing surprising here. Its exactly what you would expect. Lots of Donkey in ridiculous costumes trying to show off what she thinks is her hot body. Lots of shots of her boyfriend who she thinks is a hottie and will make people jealous. Predictable and boring.

    She’s found her element. These people are scammers and drifters and would never judge Donkey for fear of judging themselves.

    Now that this side show is behind us, we can look forward to the real fun. What happens post-television show? What happens when the bf moves in? Lots of fun to come.

    • Will she do fashion week again? God, that’s the worst. Nothing ever comes of it except photos of donks.

  20. I wonder how long she starved herself so she could take 75 skinny photographs of herself in sparkly underwear.

    I wonder if she really thinks her manorexic gay boyfriend is hot.

    I wonder how her life can get any more vapid and meaningless.

    This looks about as fun as I imagine it would have been.

  21. Goat Soap has zero sex appeal. Less than anyone she’s ever gone out with. He seems really femme. I’m still processing the fact that he forced Lily to wear dog booties because LA sidewalks are so filthy. So girly.

      • I think he has a handsome face when he isn’t smiling. Good jawline. Nice eyes. But his body — Jesus, PencilDonk, eat something. Maybe your dick and your balls will grow too.

        • He’s very all american cord fed type stupid american potato face-y to me, besides being very DERP in every photo, and he looks like he weighs about a buck twenty five. Do not want.

          I know y’all want a wedding but I see this going nowhere. In fact, now that she had her sad little arm candy for BM, I bet they break up sooner rather than later. She cannnot possibly be anything but bored with him. He looks special.

          • I mean come on, clearly she started dating him to prove to all her haters that she was truly lovable, despite all televisionic evidence to the contrary post Miss Advised shitshow. She has no conscience and her memory lasts all of 5 minutes. I’m sure she’s ready for her next humiliation now that she proved to the world that yes, she can get a boyfriend, which obviously makes her better or something.

            Besides, he’s broke. Marriage ain’t happening.

  22. Some serious camel toe going on here. Gross.


  23. Reposting from the last thread because I am still astonished that there is apparently NOTHING IN HIS PANTS.

    She has finally found someone who is relatively hot and will allow her to dress him up in hot pink short-shorts which expose, literally and figuratively, his utter lack of balls and a substantial dong. Jesus, my man isn’t a porn star but when he walks around in his boxer briefs, I see his package. Is there ANYTHING in Goat Soap’s pants?

    But I digress — marriage is inevitable, cat peeps, and it’s going to be GLORIOUSLY, INSANELY CHEESY AND OVER THE TOP!!!

    My cat lady prayers have been answered!

    • I am so speechless I don’t even have words for the speechlessness. He’s dressed in Suzanne Somers’ shorts from Three’s Company and STILL, no visible cack-n-bawls. The mystery thickens (unlike other things)…

      PS– I didn’t know American Apparel made their “highlighter pink” girly boy briefs in XS.

    • I have shorts that short that I got in P-Town, which makes them extra gay. I wear them around the house ALONE because they can barely contain my balls.

    • Re. the wedding – from your mouth to Greg’s ear! The best thing about a Donkey/Goat wedding would be that he would be on board with every over the top cheesy idea she would come up with: a pink champagne fountain? Sure Babe, that sounds amazeballs! An enormous pink wedding cake with them dressed as Care Bears for the cake topper? Anything you want, Babe, you’re the artist! A pink glitter cannon during their first dance? Love it! Love you, Babe!

      I can’t imagine anyone she’s dated who would stand for any of her tacky ideas, but with this poor schlub she seems to have met her match indeed. Let it unfold!

  24. Would anyone previously defending Goat Soap’s steaming heterosexuality care to quietly stand up, meekly step forward, calmly restate your opinion and humbly apologize to anyone?

  25. He has derp face in every photo. I sort of feel sorry for a millisecond thinking about how lame he is. Then I just point and laugh again that he has no noticeable sack.

  26. RANDOM & OT:

    12 million iPhone and iPad device IDs hacked from the FBI, Anonymous claims
    Whoever was responsible for the latest hack says that they will only agree to speak to the press if a photo of Chen, dressed as a ballerina with a shoe on his head, is published on the main page of Gawker.

    I wonder what malicious & cuntastic scheme-juice move D0nkey will pull off as soon as she reads this (here, where she never reads) & then claim to have been omg hacked …

  27. I keep on staring at all these pairs of vagina chokers and the word “musty” refuses to vacate my brain.

    • Add to that the foot funk produced by wearing furry rubber boots in 90-degree desert heat and you can only feel sorry for the poor fellow burners (and Goat Soup, that had to share the RV with her).

    • I have never seen such consistently flagrant cameltoe in my entire life. I’m so sad for myself that I now know the external topology of Donkey’s vagina so well.

    • Seriously, she could have done it up all stylishly bohemian, going commando under a billowing cotton skirt or tie dye maxi dress and been so much more comfortable in the desert heat. It would be so much more in line with this event than in those hideous moon-booted sparkle pony getups. I guess she forgot (or ignored) what La Lalla told her about ditching the princess thing and being more authentic. BTW, no pix of Lalla yet, wonder if the bloom is off that rose.

  28. Sticking your pink bath-mat and your “Princess Parking”sign in a luxury RV, and bringing your “custom” pink bike and grifted tutus, is such RADICAL SELF-EXPRESSION! Plastic surgery and collagen injections and a bindi– letting your freak flag fly! I don’t drive a Mercedes and wear pearls– I’m a hippie! I’m changing the world! Down with consumerism! Power to the people!

    Why is she always posing so artificially? Why isn’t she ever just doing something? Just laughing and smiling spontaneously? She looks so out-of-place among everyone else.

    She might as well be on that RV trip with the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

    • I think she thinks this finally makes her part of the cool kids crowd, which she so has so desperately wanted to be her entire life. She has no idea most of the “cool kids” such as they are give BM major side eye. Absolutely no one thinks it is cool.

  29. Why is she sucking in her stomach in EVERY photo? Is she trying to compete with Annie Blahblah in the Xylophone Rib Camp? And her face looks…. so very old and dead.

    • That night-time abomination in white on white looks like she’s trying to recreate Lalla’s wedding, no?

    • I can totally imagine all these pictures being taken. Julia’s like “okay…1…2…3…. *sucks her stomach in w/ loud effort* …. take the picture, take it!!”

      Must be exhausting.

    • the old criticism on this site that she registers, which no one really puts forth with any great stress, is about her weight.

  30. She is screaming Drag-Queen in every one of these pictures. Some more than others, but honestly, it might’ve helped her to lay off the makeup in the FUCKING desert.

    • Imagine the adult acne that she must be dealing with after constantly reapplying her cakey foundation after it melts off her muppet face

  31. Note photos with skeevy “Brit” puppeteer Michael Acton Smith.

    And, y’all, is there a single photo of any random availing themselves of the tutu tent? Or did she fail at shilling correctly yet again?

  32. You know she febreezes those cuntrag tutus and hangs them up in her bedroom as “art”

    Kill me for knowing this but can we discuss this Rambo tweet for a sec?

    @groupon how do I get in touch with your customer service?

    She’s absolutely stalking RHOA to be the newest assless, illiterate tv whore.

    • @groupon how do I get in touch with your customer service?

      Gee … ::scratches head:: … Uhm … That’a a toughie …
      Perhaps by googling “GROUPON CUSTOMER SUPPORT” … ?
      Then clicking the 1st hit. Ya know, the glaringly obvious one saying:
      Contact us here – Groupon

      Stupid people who pay Mary Rambin to show them how to use the internet are stupid.

      • It’s like a phone expert using a jitterbug. Yes its a tough one, if ONLY websites had a help or contact us button, that would be great. For now lets just tweet, mkay?

        Does anyone know why she moved and wtf she’s doing besides loafing around on her tired excuse for cite sight site and square shouldering it around town with her nutsack bags?

        • Afghani said that she moved in with the boyfriend. CDB hasn’t given us a ruling on whether that’s accurate.

          Mary’s website got a revamp and looks attractive, so kudos to her on that. It is a million times better than Goat Soap’s masterwork for Julie.

          • from what i could decipher from mary’s craptastic writing on her cite/sight/site, it sounded like she moved in with her mom/stepmom/aunt, but this is probably totally wrong.

          • Mary is dating a little guy she calls “the most innovative CEO in tech” and he is from Atlanta. MMBH has been in Atlanta for extended stays at least 2 or 3 other times over the past couple months. I guess she could be moving in with an aunt or other family member, but it just seems unlikely. I think she’s been dating him for more than 6+ months, so highly possible that they could be at the moving in phase of the relationship. But like I said, it could also be a family member… my accuracy is only 96%, after all.

          • Whoops, sorry, AFF, I misremembered what you said—you said the bf was in Atlanta so I assumed they were moving in together.

            I hope they are, though, because if not it’s a little sad.

          • I will neither confirm or deny that Mary is very happy and is still dating the same guy that you all asked me about two years ago.

          • CDB hasn’t given us a ruling on whether that’s accurate.

            Don’t give up hope!
            Mutt Brochump rose from the dead, afterall …

        • I’m going to have to go ahead and declare that I was correct regarding MMBH moving in w/ her lil’ “CEO” guy in Atlanta

          • You’re going to lead w/ that?

            W/out even first telling us where he went to school or how much $$ he makes?

          • i’m outsourcing the detailed sleuthing to albie these days.

            i call it my romney/bain strategy to RBD profit$. i don’t do any of the research but still get the benefit$

    • i have not been following mary for some time. just checked out her twitter: so she moved to atlanta, huh?

  33. A couple of days ago a tipster on this site who verified records that Donkey had actually PURCHASED *deep shudder* two tickets for the event this year, not comped. I’m guessing the other one was for #2PencilDick? If so, maybe she IS fronting as his wallet *deeper shudder*? Either he has no idea what he’s getting himself into or they’re the most perfect match ever and Donka Donka Burnin’ Love has met her permanent Disney prince.

  34. Who is that disgusting old guy in the red shirt? Is it that creepy Michael Acton Smith balloon man? He is the most terrifying character in this shit show yet.

  35. So, basically, to a Donk, Burning Man – the radical experiment in self-reliance, the soul-searching quest to commune with the desert, etc. – is really just Halloween in September in the desert?

    Where’s the sense of the event? Where’s the participation? Where’s all the so-called art?

    As ever, an event that Donks deigns to attend to becomes solely about…Donks.

    So blessed!

    • Right??? You really should be able to surmise at least a few other details about a HUGE EVENT besides glitzy bustiers and Stretch Armstrong underpanties splayed across an RV mattress. This could’ve all been staged at the KOA campground near Barstow for all I know. I learned more shit from checking that dumb Burning Man live cam last weekend.

      • I was wondering that too! I was looking forward to the the drone delivery of the 3D plastic tchatchke figurines for the modest sum of $1000. One would think that, if you were allowed to stay in a high-profile camp, you would do more than just pose for pictures by the sign.

        • Donkey had already bailed by then (Day Three)?
          Or, she’s still fauxto-chopping (& processing!) …

  36. All that money she spent just to go into the desert to wear costumes. Nothing else. Not a creative or authentic bone in her body. I could have bought my kids every freakin’ sneaker they wanted. Every kind of supply… nothing generic. Oh, and still have enough for their lunch money for the year instead of telling my kids brown-bagging it is going to have to be cool enough for them this yea.
    Pisses me off.

    • yo, brown bagging is where it’s AT. Cafeteria food is gross!!

      I hear you though.

      • Thank you!!! I feel the same way, but you know, only the ‘cooool’ kids buy lunch. The losers brown-bag it. (As I make cookies and kaiser rolls for their freakin’ ungrateful asses.)

  37. What is with the appearance of gray hair and wrinkles in the one pic? Did she walk through the wrong side of an ashes-scattering ceremony?

    • Perhaps she felt the need to include a couple of pics where she looks like a real “burner” braving the elements, versus, oh you know, the forty other dust-free pictures of her in step ladder rave-kid boots and whoopee cushion face in full “maybe it’s maybelline” drag makeup.

  38. Can someone enlighten me about Burning Man? I know it’s a week-long, annual Woodstock for the new-age, peace-lovin’ hipsters. Is it a music-fest too? Do people just camp out there to feel like they are walking on the lunar surface or are part of a Mad Max sequel? Is it an art-fest? Is there crazy partying? Does this attract the yoga-bending and spiritually-enlightened crowd? Julia mentioned “color” days. Is this her fabrication or is there a daily color theme? Are there any good blogs by serious attendees out there?

    My questions are sincere.

    • It’s a little bit all of that, except not so much a music-fest like Bonnaroo or Coachella. More like a destination art-fest that attracts all crowds. There are hard-partyers and new age types, but neither is the norm. There are also ravers, techies, nudists, college kids, hippies, artists, musicians, campers, and more. The city itself has a lot of normal city things, like cafes and bars, but everything’s super creative. I haven’t been, but I have a ton of friends who love it.

      The Quora posts are pretty informative:
      What’s Burning Man Like
      Surprising truths about Burning Man

      Interestingly, there’s a noticeable subset of die-hards who take the subculture too far and are total snobs about it. Just read the Yelp reviews about various burner costume stores in SF.

      • Thanks “These Hooves…” I was getting the impression that it started out as one thing and was transitioning into something quite different…like a “Tranny or Furry or Bronies Week”…and destroying the original intent. You know if Julia is there…the pure essence of the event is polluted…but I just didn’t know what the essence of the event really was. Thanks for clearing it up for me!

        • It started out in the late 80s on a beach in San Francisco. In the 90s, it grew from 800 people to 25k in 2000. By 2012, over 50k attendees. There are people who work really, really hard to maintain the original intent (especially leaving no trace), but the size of the crowd just makes that increasingly impossible. There are definitely all sorts of Con-like goofy subcultures, but it doesn’t sound like they dominate yet… yet.

          It’s been popular with the tech crowd for awhile (the ultimate “disconnect”), which is now spreading to include social media and famewhore types. Sometimes it sounds more like a SXSW in the desert than an art-fest.

    • Basically it appears to be a region of demonic evil from whence the ancient legend of Fraggle Rock was derived. A bunch of hairy, oddly-colored and annoying twats dance and sing and feast upon great slippery piles of trust funds and unemployment checks. At the end a great wooden man is set ablaze. There used to be something to do with a cop who was a male virgin but I think they have pitched the idea since such “a cop who is also a male virgin” does not exist.

  39. Why did she lie about not getting an RV?

    @JuliaAllison: Burning Man begins by us not being able to take the RV we rented. And now we shall sleep in a tent. Life lesson: be prepared for anything.

    I don’t think the BF looks gay. He looks like a typical Hollywood wanna-be. Exhibit A: his ‘Rat Pack’, sockless photo shoot.

    Also, she is fat now.

  40. I can’t get over how he looks mildly Tom Brady-ish in all of his non smiling pictures but turns into a wrinkley goon the second he moves his mouth. He has to keep a dead fish face permanently to appear attractive.

  41. The whole experience looks like a poorly done Maxim photo shoot of what Burning Man is.
    A generic attempt at sexy that is so bland and forced it leaves no lasting impact.
    Keep on changing the world for all the girls Donks.
    You’re leaving such a legacy for all your couple of mentees (or mentals) to follow.

    • Right? No pictures of cool costumes, flaming octopi, art installations, dance parties or even the Burning Man himself. Just herself and her accethories.

      • The first fashion week, when it was not yet apparent to me how deep the sickness was, i was, ok, well, fine, some backstage photos of yourself, coverage is coming, soon? no, never. just me me me me me me me to infinity.

        it’s an illness.

  42. something doesn’t quite add up. I only count four different ‘costumes’ for devin–black briefs (which seriously just look like he stripped down to the underwear he’d been wearing all day), white briefs, pink briefs, and red briefs. but for the donkey, we have purple, white, yellow, orange, red, and rainbow. I won’t allow myself to think that he wore the same pair of briefs for multiple days, since the thought will make me go vom in the shower. so the fact that he has less outfits than she does combined with the fact that she only has photos for two different ‘night outfits’ up (rainbow and white), I must conclude that they did not stay there for the entire week, but they went for a few days, took a couple of pictures in various outfits, and then bounced when the princess couldn’t handle the dust any longer.

    also, it’s mighty telling that devin had a “JA” hennaed onto him, but there was no “DS” hennaed onto the pretty pink princess’s skin. she already has a tacky tattoo on her permanently, so why wouldn’t she want to declare her love for her mannnnnn in henna, since it eventually wears off?

  43. An acquaintance of mine has a boyfriend just like Goat Soap, or whatever we’re calling him. She’s a very attention-craving person, and her boyfriend is totally a submissive, twinky guy who my friends and I are 100% sure is gay. This girl updates facebook about her “AMAZZZZING BOYFRIEND” at least once a day, and the rest of us are, in Arrested Development fashion when Michael sees George Michael’s girlfriend Ann, always like, “Him?”

    I so hope these twatwaffles get married! It’ll be hilarious trying to see Donkey’s personas crash into each other. Her hippie Annie Lala Burning Man offbeat wedding persona meets the wannabe Blair Waldorf University Club persona!

  44. The only reason she loves burning man so much is the ” no judgement” stuff. “radical inclusion” means everyone has to be nice to her. So she can hang her princess parking sign and have “color days” and no one can make fun of her.

  45. Is anyone still watching Gallery Girls on Bravo? Did last night’s episode seem to confirm that Kerri is an escort? There’s no way she affords that apartment as a gofer, right?

    • I live in NY and I can’t possibly see how she can live there on a gallerina/gofer salary. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I think that’s easily a $3500/month apartment.

    • I haven’t seen the show, but a lot of people in NYC live off trust funds or have parents who pay their rent.

      • Yes…I know she’s pitching her story as “mom and dad are poors,” but these things are relative.

    • Gotta pay the bills, as Juliars would say!

      I actually like Kerri, she seems to be decent. I also like the art buyer at EOC.

      The model/photographer is way too into herself and mean to her friends.

      The Upper East Side ladies are growing on me. I feel bad for cupcakes, I do think she could use some therapy (couldn’t we all!)

    • He f’ked up and criticized the Democrats demonizing private equity on Meet the press, remember. People were screaming at him. A good slice of his money comes from wall street. Since they already chose a non union city to host the convention (Charlotte is the second largest banking center in the US after NY), the thought was to have an up and coming latino speak versus a wall street loving mayor. Since O’bama seems to have the black vote down 94%/0% the Dems want to secure the Latino vote. Hopefully he runs against Christie for governor and wins.

      • OK, well what other promising politician goes running into burning buildings to rescue people like it’s no big deal? Dude should’ve been the key note… I mean what did this San Antonio mayor do, rescue a sinking ship full of orphans?

        • nah…. Texas is going to be a swing state in 4 years because of the latino population. And Julio Castro was just put on the national map. All about positioning. I am headed to Charlotte tomorrow!

          • well i was kidding but although i’m not a fan of either party, cory is amazeballz. i wonder if the dems would have the cajones to put a (closeted) gay mixed-race guy on a national ticket? i hope he doesn’t have to get a beard-that never works out well, see charlie christ, mark kirk, larry craig, etc.

          • I am very jealous Bob. Please let me know if you have any Clinton sightings. I have an unreasonable love for him.

  46. She just posted more photos that look like they were taken on the same day. They’re totally shill photos for yandy.

  47. [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/a5da9a59.jpg[/img]


      • furry con!
        she just KANT let go of the gregdamn care bear fetish, can she? and yet, that one halloween that she totally failed to procure a costume, she proclaimed she would make it by hand for the following year. yeah, no. and somehow, he still looks skinnier than her.

      • Seriously. He looks like Tom Cruise dressed as a pumpkin, to take his kids trick-or-treating. I wish I could un-see this.

    • She is so fucking high here. The real reason a Donkey loves Burning Man: she gets to do ecstasy and have everyone be nice to her and tell her she is pretty. It is her dream come true.

      • she was just stoked she got a break from gut-sucking. also, she’s got the dead eyes going and i don’t think it’s just from being on the Uncle Doug’s. it’ like she’s broken in spirit.

      • I don’t think Devin Stetler could have any less respect for Devin Stetler. I mean, I hope Devin Stetler will find some respect for Devin Stetler’s sake but I don’t think Devin Stetler will.

        PS DONKEY

    • How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we’ll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, ’cause it goes without saying that we can’t turn him loose. He’d report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they’ll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

  48. [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/5b5f6d6b.jpg[/img]


  49. [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/f015692a.jpg[/img]


  50. [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/59ce167a.jpg[/img]


    • Those goddamned boots from last year have GOT to stink. Cause you know bitch didn’t wear any socks with them.

      • And then she took them off and put her feet in pencildonk’s face in that hammock picture upthread. So disgusting.

  51. You’d think someone so uncomfortable in front of cameras would stop putting herself in front of cameras.

    • And it’s clear why Burning Man appeals to the Donkster (oh, besides her journalistic compulsion to document the event): You can play dress up in skimpy costumes and take endless self portraits of your own hotness. And then you can show the world the hotness that you are. And the world (by world, I mean Jack McCain or Jelly Donut) will see these pictures of how very good you look — I mean, so HOT!! In all different colors!!!! — that they will weep in mourning at having lost you. Because you are so incredibly HOT. And fun.

  52. What a special snowflake.



    • OK, how many horrible photos are in this horrible series of photos?

      Seriously, these latest ones are just so indicative of this horrible person who is the subject of them. Photos of JUST HER, all the way out in the goddamn desert, away from the event they supposedly went to be a part of…and just photo after endless photo of these two dipshits in store-bought costumes. Sorry – grifted costumes that anyone can buy from a company that makes them. No participation, no creativity…just photos.

      Deeeeep, man.

    • Well. That raftass fauxto pretty much removes all doubt as to why Julia Allison always sits a good foot taller than seatmates of the same height …

      • Now I’m trying so hard to not wake up the neighbors because you’re making me seriously laugh out loud!

  53. Melting.

  54. I’m checking in from my grandmother’s house (I’m using her computer) where I had the pleasure of pressure washing the spider egg sacks from underneath her raccoon-infested back porch. She also gave me a heads up about how my loudmouth second cousin has switched antidepressants (in addition to husbands), and is now obsessed with getting a labiaplasty so I should expect a call from said cousin soon and I’d better have an opinion on how a pussy should look.

    Anyhow, she’s watching a ten year old _Antiques Roadshow_ rerun right now and I just saw these new photos from @hooves above. Normally I’d be running the ten little mouths attached to my fingers already, but I’m not even sure what I’m looking at yet. I feel like someone has Botoxed my brain.

    This is getting weird and possibly interesting. I only just now looked at these freakshit photos and I’m already having flashbacks. Are these promo shots for an offoffoff Broadway show, as in produced with old pizza crust instead of money and performed by the criminally insane rather than trained performers and held 40 leagues below the New York sewer system instead of on an above ground stage? I can’t take it, I am laughing out loud with no one around. Thank you Donkey, oh thank you.

  55. I’m not a friend of hers on fb — I can see some albums but didn’t see this one yet. Wonder if she finally started to use privacy features?

    BM seems bonkers especially those who attend. This guy has to be off his rocker to allow donkey to dress him in this nonsense.

  56. Donkey & Needledick are quite the photo journalists. They did just a beautiful job of capturing all 6 people who attended Burning Man this year.

  57. I really wish I could hear other BMers dish on how awkward and cray JA and the Soap were. “There were these two dorks who wore matching outfits every day and were constantly taking each other’s picture…”

    • It would appear that they were all too busy being speshul snowflakes to notice. Let me put it this way: down in the sewer, your feet never stink.

  58. So Donkey and #2 Pencil Dick are getting married, I am convinced. I have never seen two more boring people more in love with their own reflection than these two.

    • I think in Season 2 of Miss Advised they will get engaged and then throughout the season they will play up his more “feminine” attributes which will go competely unnoticed by Julia but not to the audience. He’ll ooh and ahh over the gift registry…he’ll get way too excited about the china pattern). Then the last episode will be the “very special episode” when he comes out of the closet.

  59. This is the best moment of her entire life. She was on a TV show, she has a boyfriend who apparently puts up with her bullshit, and she was relatively thin enough to wear booty shorts and bikini tops and have her photo taken in them and have strangers on the Internet tell her they look cute (they do not look cute).

    IT’S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE, JULIE. Wait until the whole “I have no job and lots of bills to pay” kicks in, because that’s not going anywhere and your boyfriend doesn’t have any money to buy you shoes.

    • I thought I read here that he went to Cal Poly. They have a good engineering school– I know people who’ve been courted by employers before they’ve even graduated. Does he have a job? (And does she? Haha, joke.)

      If he’s an engineer, he could have made a bad-ass art car. Instead of pink dish towels.

  60. The picture with Elmo looks like they just picked up a furry red wino off the corner and they’re taking him back to their RV to eat him for dinner. Creepy.

    OT: but I think I just saw Jelly D ride by me on a bike on Masonic Ave. I was in a shitty mood and seeing a Donut on a bike in my hood made me laugh.

    • And what will they do when all this BM excitement (endless self-portraits, costumes and tutus and all that — you know, real world type stuff) is over?

    • Did she tell him, “OK, on the day I’m wearing yellow, you have to wear yellow, too. Do you have anything yellow? No? That’s OK, we can go shopping. How about red? I’d better look in your closet to make sure it matches my red outfit.”

      When they took pictures of themselves, did she tell him, “Now you have to jump. No, do it again. Smile. Look happy. OK, now take one of me with my feet wide apart. Wait, take another one– I wasn’t leaning over the right way. OK, now take one of me blowing a kiss. I don’t think I have one of those yet”

      Cuz that’s how the hippies and bohemians and radical self-expressionists do it.

  61. OT: Hello, catbitches! Did any of you see tonight’s Beverly Hills Nannies reunion? My DVR cut off the last few minutes. The last thing I saw was Kristin saying she got a parasite from her cat’s poop and Anber asking for a doctor’s receipt. Was there more? Thanks in advance!

  62. So sad that she attended an entire community event and interacted/took a trillion photos with/kept doing her make up in the RV/defeated the entire point of the burn with, like, four people total.

    Also, I tire of looking for the weenus in the haystack that is her boyfriend’s crotch. She’s a beard.

    You stoopid Fupa Donkey. #juliaallison #baugher #peter #weenis

  63. Wow — I just switched over to the last few minutes of a 30 Rock episode titled “Good Night, My Friend” and just in that few minutes, Liz Lemon mentioned Burning Man — wow — coincidence? I think not…

  64. OT, it looks like Arax is the only douchetard still blogging on the NonBusiness platform these days. Lindsay and Melissa haven’t blogged in 3 months, Laura and Amber Katlady’s links won’t load for me. Looks like it’s finally all over… but why the hell hasn’t anyone told Anthrax?

    • My guess is that Julia and the others all have a betting pool going on.

      “Holy fuck, she still thinks the lights are on. Damnit, Brant, I owe you twenty bucks.”

  65. Last one until the ineffable CuntBunnies shows up. ‘Nite y’all.


  66. I dunno guys.

    I was unconvinced, but he actually seems to be enjoying himself and her company. I agree these two have the sexual chemestry of a bucket of raw oysters left on the side of the road to die, but longer relationships have been based on fewer boners than seem likely here.

      • I always thought that Pancakes was wearing the political smile sported with decreasing freqency by his Dad, and for pretty much the same reason. “Here I am grinning like an idiot next to a nominally attractive but more obviously insane woman who was supposed to make me popular and didn’t.”

        No dual Elmo puppet rape for Pancakes, nosirree

  67. I LOVE that she has zero shame for our amusement. I also LOVE that the pictures are after a three day coke binge so she looks thinner.

    • That HAS to be what it is – no way did she go from 15 pounds “over(her perfect desired happy to wear vagina chokers)weight” to 5 pounds under in 3 days without it.

  68. This is o/t but I bought a house so I’m moving soon.

    My sis is coming to help me move and to clean cos she’s good at that type of stuff. She sent some cleaning stuff in advance and I swear to Greg she’s sent a SWIFFER. I have been SO highly amused all evening. I have a swiffer!

    I think I’ll go not have sex with myself and swiff and then break up with myself over marshmellows cooked in my lounge. Photos to follow of my my man fingers over a small fire.

    • I also sent my sister this text to the lyrics of Robert Palmer’s “Sailing Shoes” – “evveyrooone will hip hoooray, when u put on yr cleaning shoooeee-oooo-ooos. hey hey helua, whn yr tidying is so peculiar, i no i cld nvr clean like u in a million years, a shitstorm u resemble and yr multi makes me tremble, i sure wld like to handle wots between yr ears.

      It’s funny cos it’s a song addressed to “Julia”. Only me? haha whatever catpeeps.

    • oh, ethel, them was good times… julia being completely oblivious that TK’s swiffering meant he SO was not into her.

  69. It’s really a cool and useful piece of information. I’m glad that you simply shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

Comments are closed.