Finally Called Out On Her “WOOHOO ROAD TRIP” Stage of Grief, Donkey Explains

 jessie_scrunch@JuliaAllison Seems your grandmother is better then, since you are planning fun girl trips. So happy for you!

kitty2silly: @JuliaAllison Boo to the weather! Does that mean that your grandmother is doing well again?

JuliaAllison@kitty2silly – she’s hanging in there, yes. Doing much better than expected. Still in the hospital but stabilized.

JuliaAllison@jessie_scrunch – her condition is terminal, but she is comfortable & not in pain. She could live 6 months or 6 weeks. No one but God knows. 

JuliaAllison@jessie_scrunch – and the trip to SF is for work, planned weeks ago, but I’m driving up with girlfriends.

You can really sense the simmering resentment that she has to answer questions about her grandmother less than a week after she polluted her FB and Twitter stream with melodramatic Tweets and posts about how death was imminent. Not a single “Thanks for asking, that’s very kind of you.” You know she’s thinking “I don’t OWE you cunts ANY explanation!!!” even though she spewed that bullshit out for her thousands of “Fans in the -stans” and her Twitter followers. Christ she’s an obtuse, rude fucking dickhead.

Oh and hey — this trip was PLANNED WEEKS AGO, bitches. So of course she had to go, whether Granny lived or died! It was planned! And she is so meticulous about following up on plans, particularly when there’s a dong at stake. So back off, question-askers!! Don’t complicate her online shitshow with pesky questions.


  1. You shit heads! Don’t you have some old bills to pay or health insurance to fail to sign up for or taxes to cheat on or giftcards to grift? HOW DARE YOU. You don’t talk about my Granny. YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT MY GRANNY. Don’t read my twitter!

    • She certainly sounds very irritated. Defensive much?

      With the Flusher Price/JA piece, was that the same piece F.P. was writing, and very pleased with herself about, some weeks ago?

      • It’s got to be. I flashed back to that little scene in Julia’s Magical Imaginary screenplay, too. Self-congratulation is absolutely fatal to good writing, but how would either of the two Julias know that?

    • I love her implying there are brains behind the operation. Seriously, it’s like I should cancel my cable this shit is so entertaining.

        • Obviously too much thinking is wearing her hair out. Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street, even if it’s just busy with squirrels darting around in illogical directions.

          • Big Julia has her hissing, man-hungry weasels and scheme juices, and now Little Julia has her deranged squirrels. Bravo!

    • i bet she’s telling the truth for once since a) big Julia hates to write or do any work and b) flusher price’s name came first, which she could have only gotten away with if she wrote the whole thing.

      • As much as the article bears the trademark stupidity of the Donkey, I bet you’re right that Flusher Price wrote it and Donkey just took credit for the idea. Neither one comes out on top in that arrangement.

    • Oh, right – the “brains” behind the piece comparing real life to a now-defunct television show wasn’t the person who actively and publicly tried to live like the main character/narrator of said show for years, it was the OTHER person! It wasn’t the listed author who, like the character on said show, was a relationship writer, a lover of pink tutus, a dater of married guys, a hooverer of cupcakes – it was the OTHER author who is a musician and bears no resemblance to the character being picked apart in said piece. Oh! That makes sense.

  2. my Gma was given a similar diagnosis in December and I was barely able to function for weeks afterward (like, forget to shower, stare at blank walls, wail loudly). i can’t imagine being so blase about something like that.

    • When my grandmother passed away as “unexpectedly” as these things can be when one is 88, I fell on the floor sobbing and could not breathe. I’m still devastated.

      She’s such a crazy cunt.

      • My grandmother died at age 74 in April 2000, four years after being diagnosed with lung cancer and three years after she had a lung removed and went through extensive chemo. Even with YEARS of preparation, I was so devastated I was nearly hospitalized. Nearly 11 years later, I STILL get moody and weepy on the anniversary of her death and usually take the day off of work.

        Of course, this is partially because my grandmother was more of a mom to me than my own BPD mother, but still. The point being that “normal” people don’t flit around the country when someone close to them might be close to death. ESPECIALLY when those people are self-reported DIGITAL NOMADS WHO CAN LIVE ANYWHERE. I mean, MOST people can’t afford to spend extended time at a deathbed, but of all people SHE can. And for all the half-assed reasons she’s used to get out of actual “fun” commitments (France, anyone?), you’d think she’d be a pro at canceling on ANY sort of engagement for an ACTUAL EMERGENCY.

        Sorry for the caps. I’m at a temp job from hell and this is my respite for the afternoon…

        • If I had the chance to be with mine knowing she’d be dead soon (that is IF granny is even on her way out, which I doubt)…I would drop EVERYTHING humanly possible to be there. She’s bragging about goddang road trips.

          You are evil.

    • my grandfather got sick very recently. my boyfriend and I had a trip planned and you better believe we cancelled it without a second thought. strange though, the horrible thing for me was that my relative was ill, not my petty little pre planned trip. it’s so wild having emotions and caring about people other than myself!

    • I know everyone handles grief differently, but — as I mentioned in an earlier comment — about a year ago my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer (she’s in her 90’s and they can’t operate because she has a high likelihood of stroking out on the table) and told she has about two years to live.

      When I visit her, we play cards, eat food, tell stories, watch TV, and just have a good time. The idea of whining about being in the ‘anger stage of grief’ and then playing funeral songs for my grandma — who isn’t dead yet, and who I fully believe will make it more than the two allotted years.

      Maybe I am still in denial, but I just don’t want to bury the living. Not when there are still memories to be made.

      This is, of course, not directed at your grieving process, fail whale. Just that Julia could be so publicly morose and then snap out of it like she is resetting the channel to the next soap opera.

      Like Jacy said — she is just winding up for the full-on melt down for when Granny actually passes (“Will it necessitate leaving her beloved LA, back to her parents downtown Chicago condo, her, I mean ‘her place’? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT, ON ‘NO FUCKS TO GIVE’!”) All while milking the current drama for every drop of sympathy she can get.

      So gross.

      • Sorry about your Granny, McCakes. You sound like a great granddaughter.

        My granny died seven years ago, and I still cry when I think about her. Ugh, the thought of using her painful death as a ploy to get attention for myself makes me physically sick. I don’t think Julia realizes that granny is a HUMAN BEING, not a character in the Julia Allison Show.

  3. Less than a week ago:

    “I don’t know how to process this, or what to think. Or what to do or say or feel. All I know is that it hurts.”

    Apparently it doesn’t hurt that much.

  4. There is no article in front of “hospital”.
    Even shitty writers know this basic usage.
    Uneducated hicks posturing their way through life, perhaps not.

      • Six months seems like an awfully long – and expensive – time to spend in a hospital or hospice care. Her lies don’t even make sense.

        How pissed is Julia that her inheritance money is slowly being eaten away by that pesky granny that just keeps hanging on and refuses to pass away on Julia’s “work” schedule? Do you know how pissed she will be to lose ANOTHER $100 when JetBlue refuses to refund her points money???

        • WHAT UP NOW, YO GRANNY. How about you make like an angel so I can get my investing on, yo now?

        • My grandmother was in hospice for well over a year, coherent the whole time and doing PT until she passed away, and certainly some of the other residents had been there for some time. I’m not convinced Julia actually knows what “hospice” is.

        • Six months is the usual length projected for hospice care. People rarely get that long because nobody wants to go into hospice until they’ve stopped hoping for a cure (my dad had two months, for instance).

          • Hospice was a huge decision for my grandmother, who was 88, and my family. She came down with pneumonia twice before going into hospice and was in the hospital for long periods of time, suffering all sorts of pain and discomfort – in fact she was taken off of intubation and miraculously survived. She was able to maintain a level of comfort and dignity in hospice and I am grateful both for that time with her and the staff at her facility. It was a painful couple of years and Julia is clearly very immature because she is making light through her twitter trail of what her grandmother and family is going through.

          • I’m so glad it worked out so well for your grandmother! My dad had in-home hospice care and it was to some extent a mixed blessing, but the volunteers were incredible.

        • Hi there– hospice social worker here.

          If Granny has, say, Medicare? Or really any decent private health insurance? Hospice care (in-patient or home) is most probably entirely covered, should she have the proper referrals in place, blah diddy blah. Get yourself some Medicare when the time comes, folks.

          (Or be like A Donkey, and teehee about all that silly “health insurance” stuff!)

          • I guess Donkey is also pretty convinced that she’ll never need any Social Security, the way she’s not racking up any work credits …

    • WTF? “In the hospital” is correct US usage. For once, I applaud A Donkey for not pretending to be English and saying “in hospital.”

      • My apologies to the Americans. Do you also then say, my son is walking to the school? Alice is just finishing her freshman year of the university? I truly had no idea.

        • No, but we definitely say “the hospital.” “I took him to the hospital.” “She’s in the hospital.” “The ambulance rushed them to the hospital.” News media may drop the “the,” but people don’t usually drop it in speech.

          • Ya, I just looked it up, fascinating. American’s wouldn’t tend to say “he’s in the prison”, for example, instead they’ll say, “he’s in prison”, or “she’s at church”, but somehow they make this odd exception for hospital. Alrighty then you crazy Yanks. I stand corrected.

          • And … there’s no possessive meant to be on “Americans” there; hit Post Comment just as I noticed it! Grammar karma.

          • I’ve been omitting ‘the’ in speech more & more often as I tend to drop it when typing (it’s so over-used, IMHO) & one new-ish habit overtakes another.

            I remain confused on when ‘that’ is really necessary; another over-used (IMHO) word …

          • it’s our american health care system don’tchya know? we only have one hospital. so we can say the hospital and it is clear the place we are speaking about…

          • No, “that” and “which” are not interchangeable.

            “That” can only be used to introduce a restrictive clause. “Which” can be used for both, but should properly be used for the non-restrictive clause (in other words, to introduce secondary information).

            “The north-facing windows that have shitty caulk are substandard.”

            “The windows, which are north-facing, have shitty caulk and are substandard.”

          • What if all of the north-facing windows have shitty caulk but only some are substandard?

          • Preference is for the introduction of a discreet clause.

            “Some of the north-facing shitty-caulked windows are substandard.”

        • It would be “to school” and “at” or “of college” but “university” would take an article unless the actual name of the university is used, i.e. “A lot of strange people evidently went to Princeton.”

          Have no idea the why.

          I’m going to assume it is a combination of biology and shitty north-facing windows.

        • I could see someone saying “He ran over to the school to get something.” or “He goes to the university in town.” or “She was my professor when I was at the university.”

          But we also say “At work” “In school” “Near death in the hospital”

          • Some people in the US say “I want to go home and get in the bed” but others say “I want to go homeget in bed” — I think it’s regional

          • Oy. My ex-in-laws would say ‘get off the car’ or ‘get down’ when what they meant was ‘get out of the car.’

            Had nothing to do w/ those monster trucks they drove, I swear.

        • We say “college” instead of “university,” even when the actual name of the school has “University” in it. “Alice is finishing her second year of college; she’s at the University of Chicago.”

          While we’re talking about the differences between US and UK English, I am going to point out one of my favorites: “stool pigeon” US = “grass” UK (i.e., someone who informs on their criminal conspirators); “stool pigeon” UK = “fall guy” or “patsy” US (i.e., someone who is set up to take the blame by their criminal conspirators).

          • No I don’t think so, English English is my mother tongue and stool pidgeon is not patsy for us (or me). For a fantastic guide to British judicial, criminal and corrective systems slang see “Rumpole of the Bailey”.

            Also to internalize the snark, it makes me nervous when people get called out on British affectations because I can’t pick them as affectations when they sound normal to me. I shall now go consume 70% of a bottle of chocolate syrup in despair.

            Be warned about examining the differences between British and American dialect, that way madness lies. It’s no small thing and once you start questioning everything sounds wrong. The blog “Separated by a Common language” keeps track of all those things so we don’t have to.

          • Thank you, Que! I appreciate the correction. I guess what is actually happening is that a few UK writers I’ve encountered have confused “stool pigeon” and “fall guy,” so I mistakenly thought it was A Thing.

  5. “her condition is terminal.”

    this may be the dumbest thing she has ever written. you could apply that statement to anyone. no one but god knows!

    • “Her condition is terminal.” What a fucking Captain Obvious Cunt. Granny’s nearly fucking 90. Please stop with the melodrama.

      • Actually, I think she’s over 90. I think Julia made some big deal about her 90th birthday a while back.

        Yes, losing a grandparent is sad, but she lived a full life and seems to be resting comfortably, at least per Julia. Trust me, you melodramatic hag, it’s much harder to lose a grandparent unexpectedly. I lost my granny very suddenly after a terrible falling accident, when she was in her early 70s. It was horrible and gut wrenching and incredibly tragic.

        • Yes, Shamoolia, but obviously if you’d known you would have begun the mourning process months earlier, followed your granny around with a shovel and an ipod blasting “Nearer My God to Thee.” That way you’d be all grieved out when she finally had her accident and you could be on your way to Bermuda before the body was cold.

          You shitheads know nothing about grieving.

          • Thanks Jacy. It’s on its way to be painted by the same guy who does IKEA’s artwork and framed as we speak.

      • Seriously. What “condition” is that? She’s such a goddamn liar. If it were cancer or something, just say that. Terminal condition my ass.

      • Also, since 100% of people eventually die, one might say the condition of “life” is terminal.

      • Granny’s 88.

        I could actually see this taking off. Why is Julia such a tool? No one but god knows. What is Jelly D’s penis thinking? No one but god knows. What happened to Julie’s face? God had nothing to do with that one — her condition is terminal.

          • Don’t you think Donkey would be braying about it much more loudly if he were actually into her? Given the absence of bragging, I think he tolerates her.

    • It’s like on that one Six Feet Under episode… I think Nate? maybe? was diagnosed with something bad and he told this cantor that he was dying. She said, “So am I.” He was shocked and asked what she was dying of and she said, “We’re all dying.” It was a much better moment on the show than I’m describing here.

  6. We did catch that shooting a music video with Andrew Bancroft is now considered “work.” Oh, the LOLs… to infinity and beyond.

  7. Every time she mentions God an angel loses its wings. I just can’t. I literally shake my head and look down in embarrassment. Canklehausen code red alert. Just stop with the faux spiritualism already you dumb fuck.

      • It really makes her seem so much more hickish. It’s such a redneck, Britney Spears-esque faux-spriritualism.

        I still can’t get over Donkey manically braying “bible verses” at the bedside with the pink iphone in one hand, while NGMB tries to hide beneath the covers and push her morphine button again because she just can’t with this cow.

        And the angel investor tweet should be all anyone needs to see to know full well Julia is as rotten as last week’s garbage.

        • I really did want to give the little burro the benefit of the doubt during the rather embarrassing bedside vigil, but that “angel investors” tweet was the dead giveaway. Julie’s small, feverish brain was already burning through her “small gift” inheritance. I seriously believe she’s somewhat disappointed Granny has hung on, while the grifter is “forced” to film a woohoo road trip for her reality shitshow.

        • Every time I think about Julia Allison investing money, I think about the time someone asked her “What stocks would you buy if you had $100 to invest” and she said “Apple, Google, and ” something I forget now.

          Bear in mind 1 share of Google stock is over $600 by itself. And if you aren’t familiar with how stocks work, one does not purchase one share of stock. It is to laugh.

          • “one does not purchase one share of stock. It is to laugh. ”

            Not entirely true, my parents have 2 shares of Berkshire-A

          • Facebook was the other one. A company that hadn’t gone public and had yet to announce plans to do so.

        • It’s especially funny considering she bragged about being an agnostic while in HS. Because she thinks that makes her look very intellectual.

        • Still in the hospital but stabilized.


          “stabilized” = “Bitch refused to die”

  8. Also RIGGGGGHT. The trip was for work. That’s why she called it a “road trip.” I’m sure she will suddenly have very important “meetings” there too.

    • And this is the thing. This. Is. The. Thing.

      Deal with it however you want, fucking Donkey. If you felt it was pointless doing the bedside vigil thing and that it made everyone’s lives easier for you to get back to L.A. and it made you feel better, then fine, fucking do it. But don’t Tweet and FB the shit out of your misery and grief and then flounce back to L.A. like you haven’t just Tweeted and FBed the shit out of your misery and grief. You spewed all that stuff out there, now don’t get indignant when your many solicited followers and fans ask: “WTF, what happened with Granny?”

      And if you don’t like being questioned about the content you, and only you, puts out there for thousands of strangers, then STOP PUTTING IT OUT THERE for thousands of strangers.

      Jesus. Not rocket science. How many times must this lesson be learned? She is so goddamned stupid, it burns.

      • She is a serious rage-a-holic. She’s like a dry drunk but instead of alcohol, it’s chocolate syrup she is trying not to guzzle.

          • There is an exact copy of this in my daughter’s elementary school class. A mean and vicious girl on the inside, and a fat and unattractive girl on the outside. It’s trans-generational — the mom and grandmother are the same.

      • i’m thinking every day is a discrete new time period for with no relation to the prior or to the next. it also explains, partly, why she burns bridges so easily, she’s only thinking about what’s in front of her at the moment. the “custodian of her memories” comment speaks to this, as does “i meant it at the time”.

        it is a symptom of mental illness.

    • Also,

      Terminal condition = being a psychopath

      As in, there is no cure. We either lock them up in prison or make them CEOs.

  9. So about a year and a half before my father died, he almost died (as in, he spent a week in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit, and his doctor–a total sweetheart of a man–basically told us that he didn’t think Dad was going to make it). Then he came through, much to everyone’s surprise but mine, but they said not to expect too much from him after that. Which expectations, God bless him, he confounded, and he spent time with friends and wrote more than 100 poems and went to an honorary granddaughter’s graduation party and just did his thing for another year and a half.

    I can imagine that GMB had some major crisis that she pulled through–given that the parents seem to have asked Britt to come as well, it seems unlikely that Donkerina made the whole thing up–and that they don’t think she’s got very much left in her.

    But the whole Sarah Heartburn routine about singing and playing Bach was too much, and she lacks the wit to know that she needs to segue from that into “Road Trip! Woo!” with a little “Oh, GMB’s condition is more stable, I can start thinking about getting back to the Left Coast” stuff.

    • I know, I know, don’t internalize the snark. But I am in the “nauseated as if I’ve been on a Tilt-A-Whirl” stage of Donkey.

      • Just my .02¢, but I think of ‘internalizing the snark’ as when one takes comments here to heart as if what’s being said was being said about them & to them, & that’s not what you did when referencing your own IRL experience to make your point, I don’t think.

        (Hope that makes sense / ¢ / scents, cuz ‘making sense’ isn’t really my strong point)

        p.s. What a gift that your dad made the doctors eat their words for a year & a half — glad you got the additional time w/ him! 🙂

  10. My guess is that GMB’$ can longer be on her own at home, & at the same time, there isn’t additional care that a hospital can give her, so I can see where Donkey might not have been lying when she said hospice nurse, because what ‘hospice’ means anymore has evolved over recent years; it really isn’t as narrow a scope as only having ‘six weeks or less to live’ … these days it’s more about skilled nursing 24/7.

    Maybe this from a Chicago hospital website helps clarify:

    When to Consider Hospice Care
    Hospice care is suitable when patients no longer benefit from treatment aimed at curing disease and are expected to live six months or less. Hospice gives patients palliative care, which is treatment to help relieve symptoms of a life-limiting illness. Its main purpose is to improve quality of life. […] If you get better or the disease goes into remission, you can be taken out of the hospice program and return to active treatment. You can go back to hospice care at a later time, if needed. The hope that hospice brings is the hope of a quality life, making the best of each day during the last stages of advanced illness.

      • Because I (yes, that’s me up yonder) am anal like that.

        I had a friend go into hospice when the hospital had nothing more to offer her in regards to 17 tumors on her spine & brain (a two-year-old melanoma previously deemed under control came back w/ a motherfucking vengeance) & the 1st time I saw her, she was perfectly lucid & not even on any pain meds …

        Later, when her sister walked out w/ me, I kind of lost my shit & asked who in the hell was the asswipe doctor who deigned to be so know-it-all as to call ‘game over’ when this girl was seemingly so full of vitality …

        It was explained to me that they’d been prepared for whether it be a couple of days or a couple of months, that when thing changed, it would be on a dime. I didn’t believe it; still didn’t believe it a couple of days later when I saw her again, & that ended up being the last time I saw her, because then family asked that people stay away, that our friend wouldn’t have wanted to be seen the way she was at that point, & then she was gone, all in the space of under a week.

        TL;DR — how long is left after hospital treatment options have been exhausted is anyone’s guess, but we can all agree that Donkey is a selfish cunt for not soaking up valuable time left w/ her grandmother.

  11. in unrelated news…my virus software just went nuts when trying to go to MMBH’s page…hacked?

    • That came up in discussion (very briefly) on Sunday — Prof FC commented about her sight / site / cite having been hacked; I went for a looksee & got a warning (but didn’t know if that itself was a hack spoof because of A brand new AV program); then someone else said they’d gotten a worm from MMBH’s site …

      Maybe this will help:

    • My antivirus program always pops up when I look at MMBH’s page. It’s been that way for at least a few months. She’s also been hacked a few times, though I have no idea why. It’s not like she has a large enough readership that would make it worth the time for a hacker?

    • up until a few days ago, MoreThanMary looked ok, then my browser started giving me the ‘this page has been compromised’ warning. and i thought mary had redirected it to go to her tumblr, but apparently not. the thing is, it’s not hard to get even just basic security on your wordpress installation, why can’t she do that, or why is she so oblivious to these (recurring) problems, especially as she is now consulting (*cough*) in this area for other businesses?

      Mary: “My accounts have been hacked, my computer is crashing, my internet is spotty, and I just can’t take it anymore! All of this frustration is to keep alive a blog that no longer generates revenue.

      um, it may not generate revenue (via ads??), but if you are a ‘digital media consultant’, wouldn’t having a functioning web presence be the first step to convincing your clients that you know ANYTHING about what you are advising them on? seriously, any business that engages someone FOR DIGITAL/SOCIAL MEDIA/WEB CONSULTING who can’t keep up their own basic website is suspect and deserves what it gets. also, she can’t spell.

      • The real howler is where she says she wants someone to build her a custom CMS.

        • are you serious??? that’s awesome – hope she has half a million dollars or so
          (yes I’m sure she meant custom site using some cms functions or something but sheeet)

          • No, she said custom CMS AND new blog — she hates WordPress and blames it for everything.

          • she’d either be the most awesome client (one you can bill and bill for everything and they have no clue) or the worst client in the world asking for 10,000 changes and not wanting to pay for any of it.

      • the “consulting” thing is hilarious and has to be legalese. like, she “consults” a few times a year to do things like teach office admins how to use Twitter.

        • I was just thinking about this today. She works out for a living, and gets to eat right. And has a bangin’ body like it’s her job – cos it is.

          I was very jealous -well jells- of her this morning, as I drove to work, and thought about how I’d have to squeeze in my workout b/w running errands and eating some crap for dinner cos I just don’t have the time.

          And don’t tell me to make the time, sister. I just kant.

          • I wouldn’t be that jealous if I were you. She’s bleach blonde, anorexic, and has implants that balanced out her boyish shape. Decent looking? Sure. But not sexy–she just doesn’t have “it” and there is nothing natural about her.

          • I don’t want to body snark, I have better ways to piss people off, but how can you tell what’s natural with her? She works out a couple hours a day, hair is bleached, implants, make up. And intelligence & personality are required to make a person of either gender sexy. If some guys may want a MMBH, more power to them.

          • I think she has a pretty face is what I mean, even when her hair’s a mess and she’s got no makeup on.

          • AFF — Personally, I wish I had the time and motivation to work out ‘a few hours a day’ the way Mary does.

            I think Mary looks great, even though she is an occasional bimbo.

          • Looks come and go, but dumb is forever. And cakez, people with ambition and interests that stretch beyond material comforts and traditional gender roles must make some concessions to achieve those goals. If you have a job you like, a 3-digit IQ, a catd00d who likes you for you, and a home to call your own you are light years ahead of MMBH. The time to go to party/go to events on weekdays and work out 2 hours a day while trying fad diets? That was called college. And it was kind of awesome… but honestly gets boring if you have a brain.

        • And completely dishonest. All those dipshits involved with Donkey and NS think it’s perfectly fine to give themselves bogus titles.

        • dudes, not only does she call herself a “Digital Marketing Strategist and Social Media Trainer” on her Linkedin, her consultancy also has a website! (it’s sad, but from the photo on her contact page i am forced to conclude that boobs have been implanted.) also read her “what I do” page on

          • People are talking about your business. Don\’t you want to lead the conversation?

            Oh Mary. On the front page of her site/cite/sight under construction.

          • Oh, she has a real business-lady website at last? For a while, if you clicked on “digital marketing consultant” or whatever on MoreThanMary, you would go to the testicle-bag page, which was to lol.

          • Upon viewing MMBH’s LinkedIn it really looks like she hasn’t had a real job (work that pays a wage one could like on) in over 4 years now.. How the hell does she pay the rent on her swanky upscale apartment? I don’t get it.

  12. Whoops..apparently C Foreman is coming into money with his start-up being bought..I wonder if Donkey regrets burning that bridge down?

  13. CALLED IT!!!

    Totally knew she would say this pointless trip to SF is “for work.”

    If they are still filming (are they? anyone know?) I bet the roadtrip is going to be filmed.

    • the trip to SF is for work, planned weeks ago, but I’m driving up with girlfriends.

      I think the tell / tale / tail is in her use of the word ‘planned’ … (I know I’m splitting pelts here, but you ‘schedule’ a business trip & you ‘plan’ a WooHoo Road Trip!).

      Later, show us your check stub for this ‘work’ performed, Donkey, & I’ll take it all back.

      • Good to know that “work” trumps a difficult family time. And Burning Man trumps a trip to Paris with her longtime good girlfriends, one of whom is celebrating a birthday.

        Donkey, your priorities are FUCKED UP. Just like your head.

        • But the doctor told her she was not allowed to fly to Paris with a runny nose! And to prove how genuine her anger was, she did fist shakes!!!

        • I can see REAL work bringing you away from granny. Anyone with a normal 9-5 can’t just take off from work, fly across the country to spend an indefinite amount of time because a loved one is ill.

          But Julia’s “work” is trying to snag and a man and shooting some reality TV show and fake speaking gigs.

          What an asshole.

        • I wish she’d blow some dude w/ the expectation of shoes forthcoming & get these in return:

          • Can you imagine how hilareballz these would look on her? Or really on anyone, but especially anyone with disproportionately short legs.

      • Also if she just HAD to be there for work but really REALLY wanted to stay with Granny (LOL yeah right)…she could have stayed til the last minute in Chicago and fucking FLEW to San Fran. Amirite? She fucking flies everywhere else. You turned a “business trip” into an excuse to shirk even more responsibility because you are an evil little witch. I’m sure you are SO TORE UP about poor Granny that you have the time to twatter source car recommendations. GO FUCK!!!!!!

        • I suspect her sudden return to MDR was just like her return from Sweden when Jack co-dependently begged her to return home.

          AKA, the put-upon dogsitter said, “Your dog has chewed all her own hair off, and appears not to be potty trained. You need to come get her NOW. PS: Word of warning, she seems confused and scared by the outside world. You might think about walking her sometimes.”

  14. I think it’s strange you’re still hung up on that! It was three days ago. No one cares about it!!

    Granny, quit it with the victim business. It’s unbecoming – and untrue.

  15. Jacy or JP, as you know better than anyone, we have a very large community of lurkers here at RBD. I was a lurker for a long long time before I mustered up the courage to throw my comments in with you witty intelligent cat people.

    Is there any way we can create a way for new arrivals to acknowledge their arrival and tell us how they got here without asking them to be so bold as to jump into the fray right off the bat?

    For instance, can we create a simple system for new arrivals to check in when they arrive for the first (or second or third) time and then maybe check if they fall into one of a few categories: (i) long time hater, (ii) former fan/recent convert, (iii) active character (friend/foe/ex) in this shitshow we call Julia’s life, or (iv) hated her on Bravo.

    I don’t want you to go out of your way. I just thought it would be interesting to watch as our numbers increase and see what is bringing newbies here.

    • I’m more like “None of the above” as I just liked the funny and was then introduced to the cray.

    • checking in! i’m within the past few days new and RBD made me aware of the Donkey. I forget how I found the site but I read back through almost every entry and it was the “I was inside” incident that converted me into a cat lady hater and made me decide to Never the Donkey.

    • i’ve been a reader since the site’s inception. originally came here to gawk at the donk, but also found the comments to be hilarious. the latest granny debacle, however, has turned me into a full fledged HATER. long live RBD!!!

    • This seems somewhat cumbersome and some people don’t want to expose themselves, but I could see a little sidebar poll with a “Say hello in comments and tell us when you decided to never the Donkey! Lurkers, now is your time!” kind of thing.

      Downside is, of course, that because many lurkers would still resist signing the roll sheet, Donkey will continue to think we are six lonely catladies lurking in basements talking to ourselves. Whatever, though, she thinks that anyway. We could start a formal petition with over a million+ signatures and she’d still be convinced we are two people out to ruin her life.

    • I remember I went from reading maybe once a week, to every day, to reading every day and reading the comments to commenting over about a year.

      Always RBD, Never the Donkey!

  16. Sounds like a good subforum in the Forum… I’m sure the Prof could add a “Introduce Yourself” topic.

    While I am looking forward to the show, I’m not so sure I’m thrilled at the prospect of 1,000 Bravo viewers turning this place into

    • I am concerned about this, too! Hopefully our wonderful mods will be willing to ban the cave people?

      • There should be some sort of quiz to authorize pre-Bravo catladies full commenting privileges.

        1. Julia has a pop-art portrait of herself that was made by the art designer for which famous furniture company?

        2. Where is Lilly?

        3. Where does the motto, “We will never the donkey” come from?

        4. What is little brother Britt’s real first name?

        5. Where did Julia go to college pre-Georgetown?

        6. Who is Pancakes?

        7. Does [redacted]’s mom got it going on?

        8. What concert is still being “processed”?

        9. Who is responsible the thing that Julia calls a face?

        10. Seriously, where the fuck is Lilly?

        Who is [redacted]?

        • C’mon Em. “Where’s Lily” is an impossible riddle and ongoing mystery. 🙂 Loved the list though, ha.

        • I love quizzes!

          1. IKEA

          2. Who knows? (always the right answer)

          3. Famous RBNS/RBD typo

          4. Britton

          5. Indiana U.

          6. John McCain’s son = Senor Yack McCain (TEAM YIMMY!)

          7. Hells YES

          8. Taylor Swift? John Mayer?

          9. Dr. Bobby Buka (the judges will also accept: very bad karma or Satan)

          10. No really. Who KNOWS???

          • #7 gets a half point. I’m pretty sure it is “Hells to the yes!” in Julia speak.

            You get the half point back of you did inappropriate and largely offensive gang signs while you said it, though.

          • I’ve lurked since the TMI Weakly comment hilarity and have commented on RBNS/RBD maybe 4-5 times over the past few and I just answered I think. Wasn’t #3 a JFA typo?

            So sorry. So fat. So sporadic with the commenting, but appreciative of the many lollies.

        • Oh! Oh! *waves hand frantically!*

          #4 — Little Brother Britt’s first name is ‘My’!

          Right? Right?!

  17. so Julia’s in the bargaining phase of grief now?

    “Please God, just let me take this road trip to SF before NGMB dies. I’ll do anything!”
    “Please God, just let me go to this party before NGMB dies so I can meet cute tech founder boys. I’ll do anything!”
    “Please God, just let me meet a cute tech founder boy tonight who will be my cereal boyfriend before NGMB dies. I’ll do anything!”
    “Please God, just let me keep this one until he puts a ring on it before NGMB dies. I’ll do anything!”

    And so on until, “Please God, can you just take her gently into that good night so I can invest in my new boyfriend’s digital jelly idea?”

  18. Death makes me uncomfortable, but my brayage is too strong!

    The thing that really bothers me about her recent behavior is that optimism is really important when dealing with a loved one who is having a serious health problem. Even if “her condition is terminal,” they (including Julia) had to know that there was a chance that she would improve and still have more time. When Julia was live-tweeting her grandmother’s apparent death (I can’t believe I just typed that!), she was acting like the obituary was already written. That’s not supportive or productive. Don’t count your chickens before they have hatched, Julia! Needless to say, I’m sure her family begged her to go back to LA.

    • Donkey’s immediate family long ago shut down & became oblivious to her antics, that much is apparent — what I wonder is if her aunt was due to arrive & Donkey hightailed her raftass outta town before encountering someone who’d take real issue w/ her bullshit grim reaper death wail.

    • This might be kinda mean but at that age, everything is terminal. No?

      *i work in healthcare so am somewhat desensitized to old people passing. Always a sad event nevertheless.

      • Well, death is inevitable, but ‘Old Age’ being ‘terminal’ is an opinion, not a ‘formality’ nor an ‘illness’, per se …

        ‘Natural’ can be a MOD (manner of death) attributed to old age &/or other reasons the body shuts down, but ‘Old Age’ is not a scientific or official COD (cause of death) — ME’s (medical examiners; also medical doctors) or coroners (certified to do many of the things an ME does) have to determine a COD, & they have to list a more direct cause (illness; murder; accident; etc.)

        HERE is where you can see some examples (the more recent the death, the more incomplete the case will be)

        • I’m sorry, I muddled some of that at the end — murder, homicide; accident & the like are listed under MOD’s & COD’s are where the specific Dx’s or the like are listed.

          For instance: a MOD can be ‘homicide’ & the COD can be ‘collision w/ fixed object (passenger)’, which is commonly seen in drunk driving MVA’s listed on the ME site.

  19. Jacy these folks bring up a good point. You are probably going to have to write a brilz FAQ for when this place is overrun by Bravo watching newbies..

    And it must end with: Seriously, where the fuck is Lillie(sic)?

  20. She seriously just needs to shut her dang trap:

    @JuliaAllison From you prior tweets I thought she was in her final days which is why you had to cut SXSW short and rush home/grieve…

    @jessie_scrunch – Yes. We thought she wouldn’t live more than a few days at the time. But she’s hanging on …

    • Seriously, does she ever check profiles before replying? This @jessie_scrunch is clearly either a troll, a stalker, or a bot. Her only tweets in the last year have been @ Julia. I would never respond to a person with that type of track record. Maybe I’m more paranoid or MOAR smart than Julia…not sure which.

          • Jesus, she looks like death warmed over. Granny probably looks younger and healthier right now. Holy shit.

            Notice there was another Julia Price video in which she talks about being up til 5 catching up with her room-mate. So Donk really does not sleep. No wonder she looks 90.

          • I’m LOL’g at the new eye make-up … I guess she never reads here! & yet somehow clued-in to the whole beady eyes thing that has evolved?

          • Her brows are full-on chola now, no? I mean what the fuck is going on there? A lot of eye pencil?? What??

      • I’m sorry, but that hair color is full of fail. I think others have said this before, but her natural hair color would really be best. Of course, she will never just go natural.

    • It really bothers me that she’s shilling for an intern, especially with all the criticism and overall going on to the interning system in general. I work in fashion and I see people getting taken advantage of all the time by corporations and designers who want free labor. Newsflash, Julias, if you’re using an intern for things that make money for the company, the intern either needs to be getting school credit or getting paid. Pretty sure they’re not doing either, which makes this whole internship illegal. Someone call Pancakes McCain’s lolyer.

      That’s not to say that her whole debacle with GMB didn’t irritate me enough to push me out of lurking because her behavior is atrocious but sometimes I just kant and this seems like the final straw for me today.

      • Toilet Julia’s self-importance is off the charts in this video. She really thinks her music career is so busy that she needs an intern? Frumpy Julia’s delusions of grandeur has obviously rubbed off on her more skinny, balding room mate.

        I think it’s gross that Intern Sushi is going to exploit people in this shitty economy and act like working for someone like Balding Julia is a career move. Lap it up while the cameras are rolling, sweetie, it’s all down hill from here!

      • Not to mention that in California there are a bazillion regulations about interns that few other states have. Which of course A Donkey couldn’t be bothered to read.

        • Didn’t Julia have an intern while she herself was interning at Mediabistro? I don’t think she ever fully got the concept beyond “someone who is willing to do stuff for you for free”. And maybe “weakest animal at the watering hole”. I pity the fools…! (Fun fact: at my East German elementary school, we used to reenact last nights “Fall Guy” episodes. So much fun!)

    • Guess what Thuesthday the 20th ith? It’th spring!

      WHAT? You’re like 20 DAYS late to the party, JABa.

    • Cute Julia can’t sing (well). Someone needs to tell her to find another dream/hobby. When I see Crazy Julia’s face I think of someone who must really hate herself to do that kind of damage to it.

  21. LOL. OT, but on a re-run of 30 Rock, Tracy Morgan just said:
    ”Regrets are for horseshoes and handbags.”

    (it’s like MMBH just rang Handbag Stuffed With Hair)

  22. Presented without comment:


    • P.S. The Tinypic security phrase for this upload was “PORK PIES” — cockney rhyming slang for “lies” … oh so appropriate.

    • Oh and to put you out of your suspense — no, Randi’s “friends” did/do not include Julia Baugher.

  23. Completely OT, but I was on The Daily Beast reading about Dana Loesch. I had to wonder, how is she NOT friends with Julia Allison? The similarities are way too obvious. Both seem to have amnesia when it comes to how they want to be perceived–as in they will rocket back and forth when speaking in order to cater to a specific audience; are both “brunette” and want to be seen as rock and roll. Neither one of these two seems to know much of anything. And they both seem totally self-absorbed. Has this been mentioned already and I missed it? Or am I the only one who sees it?
    And PS: Donkey officially is a void with regard to her grandmother. When mine passed away I literally felt like i was going to explode. We weren’t terribly close, but I still loved her and grasped how big a deal her passing was going to be to me and the rest of my family. It wasn’t something I could set aside, no matter how much I tried to distract myself. I don’t understand how someone can sweep that under the rug like that in favor of a stupid “work” road trip.

  24. @Sarachristine just tweeted: @juliaallison what a cunt you are.

    LULZ. And she’s a real tweeter. Not just someone made up to tweet nasties at Jules.

    Now, I have a question about twitter. Jules blocked me ages ago. Does that meant that if I tweet to her, it doesn’t appear on her feed? Or it doesn’t appear on mine? Either? Both? When she realizes that @SarahChristine just called her a cunt, she will obvi block her too. Will that glorious tweet then disappear forever? Say it aint so~

    • If she blocks that girl, her tweet will still appear for everyone else to see, but not a Donkey. Yeah, if you tweet to her, she won’t see you if you are blocked but anyone searching @juliaallison would see it.

    • Regardless of whether or not she blocked you, she’d have to be following you for your tweets to show up in her feed. No matter — Donkey @searches @JuliaAllison non-stop anyway in order to see everything ever tweeted about her.


    • She blocked me when RBNS got shutdown. The first time I had ever directly contacted the Donkey. I made a general tweet saying “@Juliaallison shuts down a blog that mocks her” and that was enough.

  25. a question: Most people I know who stay up all night and have trouble getting up a 6am for work are known as, how should I say it drug addicts, does Donkey have a favorite drug of choice?

    My guess is its Ritalin..

  26. Heh, it’s after midnight in SF and I guess her “girls road trip” didn’t go according to plan.

    ‏ @JuliaAllison
    Soooo … What’s the biggest mistake you can make on a date?

    Who wants to go first?

      • Seems like it:

        What was the craziest question you’ve ever been asked on a date & what was your response?

        Then again, what is she crowdsourcing at nearly 1am for, especially when she doesn’t actually write? I think she’s trying to draw attention to a OMG SOMEONE WANTS TO DATE ME fake date (rather than fake column), and then make up an excuse for why it doesn’t work out (when really it never began).

  27. This whole Granny thing is really making me rageful. My grandmother died in November 2010 and it was awful, but at the same time, those last few weeks I had with her were the most special, awful, bitter-sweet and amazing weeks I’ve ever had. I absolutely treasure those memories – she told us things that she’s never told us before and I got a glimpse of what she was like as a young girl. I miss her like crazy and I think about her everyday. Never in a thousand years would I live-tweet that experience to get attention or swing wildly from the “anger stage of grief” (OVER SOMEBODY WHO IS STILL ALIVE) to “WOO-HOO ROAD TRIP”. During that whole period of my grandmother’s illness my life revolved around maximising opportunities to see her and while my close friends knew what was going on, I wasn’t providing anybody a running commentary, let alone the whole internet.

    She is vile. Truly a despicable human being.

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