Julia Allison Would Like To Hurry Life’s Inevitabilities Along…

…so she could, I presume, hurry up and cash her inheritance check? Why else would she already be on the third stage of grief when her dear, sweet, diminutive grandmother hasn’t even passed yet.


    • Exactly. Donk mad? That’s not necessarily grief, honey; anger is just your default state.

  1. Ok, Who is “Anna Lalla”?

    “Let’s Tawk?” I’ve never seen someone typo that shit (“w” is far from “L” on keyboard) so I’m assuming they didn’t pass kindergarten and also were hit in the head with a cement truck at some point in their life.

    She wants to excavate all of Donkey’s anger? Sounds like someone who gets off on hearing personal details and shit and finally.. “while you are here”? So could that be a Chicago buddy?

    Sorry if this is obvious to some of you, I do not use facebook.

      • Bereavement is 95% anger in my humble O, and that anger can be angrier than any other anger previously experienced. Funeral limo drivers know well how many families have fisticuffs at the cemetary.

        Given Donk’s dysfunctionality I imagine it’s not going to be dignified and I’m predicting she will be lashing out at some poor undeserving individual in the near future.

        Peace to you Nutty Granny.

        • You are entirely right about this. At my father’s funeral, for instance, my brother and sister and I joined arms as we walked in the door and we were basically a very tall wall of rage. No one misbehaved (not any other guest or family member, either) but I for one would have been the first to hand my earrings to the nearest cousin, had the opportunity arisen. I was spoiling for a fight, and I’m the most famous pacifist in . . . well, at least in this living room.

          • My sister almost got into a fistfight at my father’s funeral. We had to pull her off my father’s girlfriend’s daughter for the dumbest fucking reason imaginable — I mean there was no reason for my sister to respond the way she did to an imagined slight. It was disturbing yet quite hilarious. To this day, however, she swears it never happened and that my other siblings and I are making it up.

          • Jacy, your comment just reminded me of something my sister did when my mom died …

            Everyone (siblings, in-laws, kids, neighbors) were standing in the kitchen when a couple of girls from my work walked in (one is real cute & sassy & sort of lights up a room anyway) so my oldest bro makes a remark to my then-husband about meeting her under different circumstances & my bro-in-law just laughed (nervous laughter, I’m convinced) & my sister went ape-shit.

            Yelling at her husband, storming around looking for her purse, slamming out the front door, completely distressing my dad who was already pretty precarious …

            Then she had to come back in & ask my friend to move her car cuz she had my sister blocked in, so I laughed, & I thought she was going to come across the table for me.

            She doesn’t deny that it happened, but she does put a spin on it to make it look like she had every reason to be outraged & homicidal.

          • Brayella — out of curiosity, what was her reasoning for being so unreasonable?

            I’m actually appreciating all the sharing going on in the threads. I love our little community here, and it is interesting to hear about the different experiences with loss/mourning we’ve experienced.

          • She made her husband out to be a shit, swears it was him who said what my brother said, & that it was disrespectful to our mom. Wasn’t him, was our own bro, & hell, my mom would have laughed at it, which is actually where I think my bro-in-law was coming from (someone had just commented how weird it was to be at a family gathering in our house & not be dodging my mom’s camera for once, which was true & funny, & people were finally easing up & relaxing).

            Thing is, her reaction it was rooted in insecurity & jealousy, the predominant force of their short-lived marriage, & oddly enough, she has ever since acted put upon & slighted by my friend, who’s never done a thing to her.

            She (my sis) is a master manipulator, the kind who succeeds at it w/out alienating people (she’d be Donkey’s forever-idol, trust me) & is fun, has numerous genuine friends, & when she spins an incident so as to show herself as victimized, she has people’s ear & is very convincing. Were she truly evil &/or warped, like Donkey, she’d be a cult leader, but thankfully she’s (mostly) honest.

    • Excavating a goldmine? The metaphor turns literal when a donkey is simultaneously tweeting about where to put her 100k.

      But this is not surprising when Annie the self-help spiritual guru is actually a con artist swindler.

    • I think it’s a joke spelling, meant to indicate a broad New Jersey accent a la Mike Myers’s “Coffee Talk” character.

      Annie Lalla was one of Donkerina’s Burning Man pals. She is a “love guru” ::koff! GRIFTER! koff!:: who is married to another Internet personality, “marketing guru” Eben Pagan, who is also known as “Master of Attraction” David D’Angelo ::koff! GRIFTER! SLEAZEBAG! koff!::

    • I think “here” refers to Julia’s metaphysical state of being. Don’t worry Julia you can learn all about Ms. Cleo’s…I mean…relationship coach Annie Lalla’s take on finding true love by getting “a suite of practical tools that help clients resolve toxic patterns, develop romantic esteem, diffuse conflict, assuage shame/blame and cultivate deep, resilient relationships that last a lifetime”

      All available at dumbpeoplegivemealltheirmoney.com….I mean…http://www.annielalla.com/home

    • I believe what she means by ‘while you are here’ is ‘while you’re in this stage of anger’ — just guessing, but she’s coming across (to me) as though she thinks she can help Donkey uncover some repressed anger that’s been deeply buried since Donkey was fitted with her first tiara.

      I know her (LaLa’s) type & if I could be a fly on the wall, I’d bet the farm that the words Kundalini and Awakening will be $uggested to La Donk in the very near future.

    • Seriously, this. WHAT THE FUCK.

      I was perusing old posts one day and there was one time someone posted a list of all the (50+) people who “liked” a donkey facebook post. *Every* single one of them was truly Afghanistaninian. Some were written in arabic. I thought it was a huge coup for RBD but it seems to have been chuckled at and forgotten. Could someone post a list of these death likers? I have this idea that there’s some web control panel that comes with your $49.99 fb/twitter fake friends package that allows you to “like” posts and every time she writes something she can’t help but be all “hmm.. lesse.. 20 “likes” sounds about right.. i mean, i wouldnt want it to look FAKE”

    • That was exactly what I wanted to comment on! Who in the HELL clicks the “like” button when someone announces that she’s in the anger stage of grief because of her grandmother’s failing health? Only Julia Allison could attract FB followers like that. It’s just so effing stupid it infuriates me! Also? What kind of psycho gives updates on her dying grandmother’s condition on Twitter and FB? It’s amazing that Ma and Pa Baugher cannot see that their daughter is the one who needs to be reined in, not the people who justifiably call her out on her horrifying behavior.

      • I think it’s automated or they get paid to “like” posts or something. Seriously, nothing else can explain it. It’s shady and she’s the Queen of Shady.

        • They definitely get paid by the “like,” which explains their motivation to “like.” I know this because I have a close friend who works in the industry. It disgusts him.

          • She should fucking be disgusted. Really, Donkey? This is what your Facebook page has become? A bunch of peasants from the -stans “liking” the fact that your grandmother’s dying? That looks AWESOME on you, both professionally and personally. So odd that you can’t get a man or a job. You dumb grifter.

          • So that confrims that a Donkey is paying for this sort of thing? God, how sad. And most of her friends being in tech, they are probably in the know that she’s doing this.

            So pathetic.

        • This is true, of course, but it exposes the charade of her many ‘likes’ when the content of her posts can be so terribly grim and still be met with a bunch of paid-for Afghani love and very little actual engagement.

          She could say, “I have Syphilis” and get as many likes, for all her fake-followers care.

          • أنا حمار جوليا أليسون، تسمعني براي! لدي مرض الزهري … ويمكنني أن تهب لك على حذاء جديد؟

  2. I’d hate to see Donkeystein come into any money. I want to see her working at a Starbucks singing along to the Adult contemporary “hits.”

    • She’s unlikely to invest wisely. Unless Dad$ers takes control. I can imagine she’ll stand her ground with papa and insist on getting in on the ground floor of the next Rent the Runway. It’s notable that con-woman Annie Lalla is hovering – I’m sure her burn rate could wipe out any windfall in a year or too.

      A cashed up donkey is a pigeon waiting to be plucked.

      • Agree. If she inherits it probably won’t be that much in the larger scheme of things, but she’ll act like it is, and make poor decisions.

        • The hint about “angel investors” is her request for people to start sucking up to her. “Okay people! I’m an heiress! Act accordingly!”. A donkey in clover will be the source of great amusement 🙂

          • She wants to emulate Soraya Darabi, who got shitcanned from Wired and the NYT for changing their Twitter handles to @sorayadarabi and has built a myth about her supposed tech and social media chops (e.g. got the Foodspotting cofounders to let her call herself a cofounder, even though they built the product way before they met her). Soraya is now styling herself as a venture capitalist, after getting $250k/year to be a ‘digital strategist’ for ABC News (this seemed to consist of talking about herself to other media outlets and events). The difference between Soraya and Julia is that Soraya is cold, calculating, and does a great impersonation of someone with a brain and human feelings. She also has a lot more people fooled. But Julia is widely reviled, is a dumbass, and only an idiot would want her as an investor. (Oh, and I doubt she has the funds necessary, but when did reality ever get in the way of her costume-based personality changes?)

          • THANK YOU for pointing this out about Soraya. I used Foodspotting when it first came out and was completely taken aback that Soraya got them to call her a “founder” when she wasn’t even there at the beginning.

            I’ve seen her speak at a few events and she presents exactly as you described — as cold and calculating. Did you ever see her food diary on Eater? She name dropped like crazy and the commenters called her out for it. Was amazing to watch. I thought i was the only one who saw Soraya for what she truly is.

          • @miss cankles: In a way, I find Soraya a bit more frightening than JAB. She’s beautiful, soft-spoken (if a fast talker), and does have a brain in there. But she’s very good at absorbing facts and others’ opinions, then re-purposing them as her own. I would never fuck with her. Unlike a Donkey, she can fake sanity and incisiveness like a champ, and so her outrageous demands ($250k salary at ABC, $20k plus first class travel and hotel for a conference speaking slot) are often met. She’s the closest thing I have ever met to a cyborg.

          • She’s really starting to push it with her ridiculous demands and resume exaggerations. It’s going to get ugly, seeing as people in that world are starting to catch on and word is spreading around about her.

            (I’m talking about Soraya, not JA.)

      • You are so right about the grifters hovering. Oh this is going to be good. She’s going to blow her inheritance as surely as she’ll blow for a pair of YSLs.

    • How much could she really be getting? I don’t think granny would split the estate evenly between all children and grandchildren. Surely the bulk of it would go to her children with a small gift to each grandchild? Plus, this is some relatively wealthy family from the midwest – we ain’t talkin about Rockefeller levels of money here.

      • That’s what I’m thinking. It would go to her father and his siblings with $$ gifts for the grandkids.

  3. Also, why does that Facebook post say she’s in LA? I haven’t been paying attention, but I thought she went to Chicago.

    • It must be some fucked-up FB thing or geo-locator is turned off or some fucking thing, one of you smart fuckers please explain.

      She is definitely in Chicago.

      • I thought it was a result of using the secure (https) log-in, because I know you can tell FB to email you every time your acct is logged-into & from where*, but PearSkank’s comment below seems to blow that theory out of the water.

        * Their ‘where’ has had me pegged for many miles away from where I really was, but it never got the actual state wrong.

        Maybe Donkey’s family has mandated that she stay off FB & she’s phoning in shite for Bald Julia to log in & post for her? LEGALESE, bunnies!

    • I believe you have to update your location for facebook to display it correctly when you post. A friend of mine has been in the hospital of my town for two weeks now, but facebook still claims he’s posting from a small Suffolk seaside resort.

    • It might just be a facebook thing? I posted on my friend’s wall today and it said was in LA, when I wrote it from my office in San Mateo and I haven’t been to LA since 2009.

  4. Wow, that one guy is kind of a blowhard, isn’t he? He’s a new addition to the cast of characters as far as I remember. Perhaps they bonded over their love of Ralph Marston quotations.

    • Seriously. A religious nut with a daughter named Kailey. I AM JUDGING YOU, MATTHEW J. THOMAS.

    • My paternal grandparents played a huge part in my life both as a child and as a manchild in my 30s. It was hard letting go when the time came, but during my Acceptance stage, I came to two scientific conclusions. The first was that I need to trust God and His plan. See, the fact that God killed my grandparents made me a little upset and I was like, “Hey God, why should I trust you?” and God was all (he was speaking directly through my skull) “Matthew, you best trust in my Plan.” So I said “but God, there is no mention of your Plan in the bible. Is that even a thing?” and he said “There you go with your lack of trust again. Maybe I should kill some more people you love!” So then I came to my second conclusion, and that was that God is love. In fact, no one can love someone more than God does, he can literally squeeze them so tight to His bosom that they stop breathing! So stop trying to love people a lot. You won’t compare to God’s love so it’s a waste of time.

      Second, my grandparent’s now live through me because I ground up their bones and used the powder as a type of snuff. Basically, I took their Experience, Life Force, and Hit Points. All this is in the Book of Revelations, trust me (and God, who speaks through me now.). Sometimes I teach my daughter things that my grandparents taught me and I think WOW this bone-snuff thing really works!

      Someday, my granddaughter will meet my grandparents because of the way my daughter cares for her. She is a terrible mother and leaves her in the car without the windows rolled down in the summer. When she dies I will grind up her bones and hopefully absorb her youth, that is, unless God shows me a CLEAR SIGN that he doesn’t approve of it, and so far, He hasn’t said a peep!

      So Julia, take solace in the fact that your grandmother is being murdered by a supernatural personality in the name of Love rather than something depressing like death being an inevitable part of life. See you in Heaven!

  5. Well, not that I would ever, ever, ever in a million years back this bitch up for basically livetweeting her grandmother’s death, I do have to cut her a little slack because, as I’m learning, grief basically turns you into a crazy person–so I can’t even imagine what it’s doing to her already jacked-up state of being. My dad (a relatively young man at 57) is getting towards the end of his long, terrible journey with cancer, and I can tell you right now that there’s no order to stages of grief, and it definitely starts before the person has passed. I tend to find myself mostly angry, but it’s not unusual for me to jump to denial/depression/etc. in the span of five minutes.

    What really pisses me off is the broadcasting. It’s true that everyone grieves in their own way, but this is the definition of a private moment, and she should be focusing on her family, not soliciting sympathy from her hundreds of fake friends on Twitter and Facebook.

    • This is just proof she has very few real friends left.Why post all this when she could just contact a real friend to help her process her grief? I don’t understand this mentality at all. When things are going wrong in my life, I trim my facebook down and filter my posts so only my true friends can read bc I hate the fake “likes” and offers to talk.

      • Yes Miss Cankles. It is very sad but Twitterverse is her friend universe. She doesn’t allow comments on her blog so no interaction there.

        • She also doesn’t post on her blog, since no one is paid to pay attention anyway.

    • I am sorry about your dad. My heart goes out to you, and to him, and all of your family and friends. My homegirl Emily Dickinson was spot on when she wrote “Parting is all we know of heaven,/And all we need of hell.”

      However, this isn’t out of character for Julie Albertson in any way. She always acts just the same–completely solipsistic and oblivious and oversharing.

      • Prettttttty prettttty sure Emily is my homegirl. But I will share because I love you.

        • Yay! There is enough genius in Miss Emily for everyone. (I did grow up fairly near her house, though, which we went to on school field trips almost every year.)

          • There is so much genius in Miss Emily. A dear friend has a home very near the ancestral house (right in Amherst) and I covet his nearness.

            Seriously, there is ALL genius in Emily Dickinson. Every time I’ve had the good fortune to teach her I’ve said, using her own language, she will blow the top of your head off.*

            *No shoes will be forthcoming, alas.

          • Some years ago, the ground floor of the house could be rented for events. A friend had a lovely wedding there one sunny summer day. I believe the house is now solely a museum.

      • I believe Albie’s claim that Emily is her girl. She’s the only commenter in this thread to use a dash.

    • Sending good vibes your way, GG.
      I’m so sorry for what you & yours are going through.

  6. Ever notice that when RRR gets his nuts kicked by PP at GOMI he comes here and gets his as kicked by Jacy?

        • She nuts-kicked me for mentioning that she was dating MeanGuy who was, at the time, a blogger at GOMI. I thought it was common knowledge or, at a minimum, something she wouldn’t really care about. I still have no idea why she cared so much. But now every time I see PP commenting, I am in fear of subsequent second degree scrotal assaults.

      • [img]http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vXd1RSJQmTk/S1mp7ajDe-I/AAAAAAAAAdw/xRKYTAAJE7E/s400/NutKick.jpg&sa=X&ei=ndpgT4i4Ho7yggfR_rimCA&ved=0CAwQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNE4rq653X155lyP6NhmhUM8M8MVZQ[/img]

    • Wanted to chime in and add that I read no hostility in RRR’s initial comment and am not a fan of folks being unpleasant towards her. RRR, you’re one of the best commenters, and your insight is missed. It’s understandable that you find our donkey depressing and needed to take a step back. I never got the vibe that you disliked this site itself or the commenters/mods, so no offense taken on my end.

      Team RRR

      • I don’t think RRR cares about hostility, remember when he first posted? He was pro-Julia, or at least supportive of her anti-bullying bullshit, her right to be left alone, adn teh notion that RBNS (RIP) was stalkerish. Then, all of a sudden, he became this hilarious parody commenter. It seems like seeing her filler-inflated face in person at that “rapey” auction made it all too real.

          • RRR is male. I’d still #bonezone some of his comments, though.

          • Jeez Louise, not THIS is he/is she business again.

            I am clearly one of the most desirable American made Rolls-Royces created and the most unique of them all. Of the 21 Revenge Phaetons built this example is the only Revenge with roll up windows, a modification performed by the renowned Dr. Bobby coachworks of Pasadena, California. This original chassis, body and engine example was subject of an extensive restoration spanning years and involving acres of silicon. This car has been the recipient of numerous awards, trophies and DWIs. The Revenge phaeton has proven to be one of the most exquisite designs of the classic era. Its finely crafted lines, accented with polished aluminum buzzsaws, antiqued brass flamethrowers and seats upholstered in turtle fur, combine with the graceful 21″wire wheels to make this one of the most stylish phaetons of the era.

            Beep beep, motherfuckers.

  7. She’ll be milking this one for months, even if Nutty Granny MoneyBags makes a miraculous recovery. “Remember when my grandmother nearly died and I to perform the 5 stages of grief in public? Because this has never happened to anyone else before and I had to share my suffering for the millennium?!”

    Oh, and those grifters enabling the donkey! Even fellow GU alum Sandy Kreis, who used to have some cred but is now apparently just another “entrepreneur” of the Jim Thompson kind.

  8. Does anyone actually know how much grannymoneybags is worth? Yes, she lives in a nice house (probably one she’s lived in for years and is paid off and cost a lot more now than it did when they got it, even in this economy), and yes, she dresses quite sharp (Get it, granny), but do we think she’s some sort of secret heiress??? (SHE HAS A PAINTING OF HERSELF! A PAINTING?!?! Is this normal?)

    I mean, all things considered, it’s probably a nice estate. A very comfortable living for one grannymoneypenny, but enough to satisfy donk if split 3 or 4 ways (I’m assuming Mrs. Peter Baugher will not be mentioned, since they are not on good terms and haven’t been). But between Pete, who could get the whole pot, Brit, Brit’s wife, and Foolia, is there going to be THAT much to split? My guess it the majority goes straight to dadsers (does he have siblings??) with “small” (you know, small to grannymoney like 20 grand maybe) allowances for the grandchildren.

    Julia would blow 20 grand without blinking and wonder where it went.

    • Remember that Peter has a sister, who has three children as well. So no, the likelihood that “angel investor” money will be coming to her from GMB’s estate is not bloody likely.

      I am hoping that GMB will pull through this crisis if that’s what she wants.

      • Who ARE those cousins and that aunt?!? Where have they been, why do they not exist in horizontal-scroll kindgom?

        • One of her cousins is a hilarious grifter, reminiscent of Annie Lalla. She “teaches” a course called the “Real Life Rules of Attraction” or somesuch.

          • Yeah, the female loony cousin is on her mother’s side. She has first cousins on Momser’s side too.

          • Oh, my heavens, the dress A Donkey wore at that cousin’s wedding is to die from. Page two or three in the wedding album.

            I assume Ms. Sholer manifested a divorce for herself? Somehow I am getting that impression instead of “went back to using her original surname” because she seemed so embracing of the new surname right after the wedding.

          • @ Albie

            holy shit, that dress. who the fuck wears that to a wedding??? someone who’s trying to upstage the bride, that’s who. there’s also a picture of her dancing with britt (of course).

          • Oh the law of attraction is haunting me today. I’m studying occupational therapy and a clinician at my placement site is showing The Secret video to a client. She told me it teaches the law of attraction as if that is some scientific concept. Apparently this is evidence based practice. I want to cry I am probably wasting my life and all my money. Maybe I am just manifesting this negativity because I don’t truly believe I deserve a decent job doing something half useful.

          • Donkey is wearing white …
            JUST LIKE THE BRIDE!

            Mom$er is also holding a bouquet …
            JUST LIKE THE BRIDE!

            WHAT? (tf) is wrong w/ these people?

    • NGMB has two kids, Peter and a sister (a cute, plump lady who JA seriously resembles), and between the two of them they have five kids, I believe.

      But don’t the kids generally get a larger portion of the pie than the grand-kids? Most of my grandparents have died destitute, and when my father died I had to pay off some of his debts (thanks Dad), but in all the families I know, the kids generally get the bulk of the estate and the grandkids maybe get 10 grand each or something, the reasoning being that the kids will end up passing that money along to the grandkids eventually anyway. When my grandfather died, in fact, the grandkids got nothing — it all went to my mother and her siblings and his longtime girlfriend.

      But let’s say Granny’s worth a million. She leaves each kid $250,000, and if she’s really generous, each grandkid $100,000? If it were me, I’d leave each kid $400,000 and split the remaining $200,000 among the grandkids.

      But we are stuck on the 100 grand figure just because of the alleged Intel contract, which I don’t think is related.

      So she could be getting a lot less than that, or a lot more, depending on Granny’s wealth.

      And yes, this is gross, but she wants us to know she’s inheriting some cash.

      • All of my college friends from Wilmette/Highland Park/Kenilworth/similar fancy Chicago suburbs were left $$ by their grandparents. It’s kind of an aspirational “we’re like the Old Money folks” thing: the idea is that your kids are doing well for themselves (which I think is true of Pettifogger and of Julia’s aunt) so you pass the wealth down to your grandkids so they can buy a house or whatever. Just like the Rockefellers.

        • I think it’s almost impossible to generalize about these things although I know a lot of Wilmette-esque families who leave money to the grandkids, too.

          But a lot of grandparents don’t, too.

          My own grandparents live in a different country and have nothing really to leave anybody anyway. But my fiance’s grandparents have given out the max in gift money every year to the grandkids… and there’s a lot of grandkids. Each kid gets like $10K a year (or whatever the gift cap). I imagine that by the time they die, there won’t actually be that much left. I imagine Granny giving out $10,000 yearly checks to the grandkids too as a way of mitigating her estate taxes.

          • All good points you make here. But it wouldn’t be at all unusual in Wilmette circles for the grandkids to be left money from, say, the sale of the house. Which would add up to a very nice down payment for each of them. Each of them except A Donkey, who would just waste it all in nanoseconds.

      • Totally gross, but she puts it out there. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a new pair of soon to be sweaty and smelly loubs any day now.

        But yes, my assumption as well (for lots of people who take the time to write wills) is that the bulk of the estate goes to the children, under the thinking that it will get down the line eventually. And then, maybe a small something for the grandchildren. That’s assuming no crack addict child you want to skip, or something of that nature.

        Both of my grandmothers are alive. One, my mom and her siblings will probably inherit debt from, the other, my dad and his living sibling will probably inherit a decent amount from. I don’t expect to be named at all. I just assume there is an older generation that’s ‘FIRST!!1!’ so to speak.

        • One, my mom and her siblings will probably inherit debt from

          Can people still inherit debt? I mean, if they didn’t co-sign for something like an outstanding mortgage or loan, my understanding is that in the US and Canada, at least, heirs are only responsible for satisfying debt to the extent that the deceased’s estate allows. (Of course this is complicated when someone’s creditors put a lien on the house their heirs are trying to sell…)

          • Please, please little savior Jesus to whom I have always been very polite, please do not allow the inheritance of debt. THANK THEE.

      • Yeah when my grandparents died I didn’t get anything. It all went straight to my parents. I’m not sure why people think a grandchild would or should get shit. If you are talking about a large sum of money, it makes sense to give it to your own child, and let them figure out how to distribute it. I get the feeling that Donkey has suckled off Granny’s teat for years (“Can I borrow some money for clothes? You don’t need to buy those estrogen pills anymore!”) which had led her to expect it will be Christmas^2 when she dies.

        I’m a bit ashamed to say I thought the same thing when my grandma died; that maybe she’d leave me some “have fun” money, but it all went to my mom, and in retrospect that was the most sensible thing to do.

      • I do think it’s something that varies from family-to-family, and in the case where the parents are obviously doing fine for themselves (house on the lake!!), I can see the $$$ going to the grandkids. My step great-grandmother pays for my siblings’ private schooling and set up college funds for them. She doesn’t really give a shit about my stepmom or my step-grandfather; it’s ALL about the great-grandkids for some reason. She actually likes my dad the best out of all the adults, hahaha.

      • Maybe she asked about angel investors because of her Intel contract and not because of NGMB. It seems too low, even for her, to already be publicly budgeting her inheritance. Then again, it is Julia Baugher.

      • Granny can leave it to whomever the fuck she wants, if she has a will. If she died without a will it would be split equally between her children. I’m sure Julia has been angling to be a big beneficiary for years. I also assume Granny has a shit-ton of money.

        • Also, I would imagine Granny would leaving any or most of it to Dadsers given she can’t stand Momsers. And they are loaded enough as it is. I wouldn’t be surprised if JA got a pile of money from this. Course we’ll never know. She’ll describe it as a “small gift” in a few years.

          • I meant would NOT be leaving it to Dadsers. Oh they probably will sell her house too and I imagine that’s worth at least a million.

        • The wealthy mother of this particular atty son is not going to die intestate, I’ll bet my cats on it. I’m sure GMB’s had an estate planner long before Donkey came to the stable w/ dollar signs in her wonkeye.

    • I believe Donkey has a painting of herself, too, doesn’t she? I remember it from the pink palace. I’ve always wondered what happened between Momsers and Granny to cause a 30-year rift. THIRTY YEARS. And they lived right in the same neighborhood. Odd that Donkey, the queen of over-sharing, has never even hinted at the reason why. She has always beat everyone over the head with how perfect her family is, but the Granny estrangement puts the Baughers in the same category as most other families: dysfunctional. We all are, to one degree or another, but Donkey would never let that reality seep into her bliss bubble fantasy world.

      • I think that’s a print. That fake warhol thing???

        I dunno, I assume that was sent off and done from a picture. Something about “Sitting for a portrait as a young debutante in evening wear” reeks of old money.

        Oh GMB, I’d like to read your life story.

        • Yes, it’s the fake Warhol print I was thinking of. Creepy that she had that big thing hanging on the pink palace wall, but you’re right, it’s nothing like sitting for a portrait.

        • Something about “Sitting for a portrait as a young debutante in evening wear” reeks of old money.

          It really is (or was) a ‘thing’ to commission a (usually) prominent artist to paint a portrait of a family member. Not that I myself have firsthand experience of ‘old money’, but I’ve seen many, many homes of very wealthy folks in Cowtown, & by extension, many larger than life portraits like the one of GMB’s.

        • “Sitting for a portrait as a young debutante in evening wear”


          • ^ vs. REALITY:

          • Where did those faux-tos ever end up, by the way? What was the purpose? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller ….. Bueller ……..

      • She actually has TWO painting of herself. One that was a gift from an ex (made by the guy who makes IKEA paintings!) and the fake Warhol. Or, at least, she had them. Who knows where they are now.

        • I”m sure we’ll see them both on the walls of the LA stable if/when Bra(y)vo airs MISS ASSVISE.


    1] STFU & go buy some mental health insurance NOW.
    2] Max out said mental health benefits, not credit cards.

    • I guess I’m the exception Bonnanno’s theory, cuz I’ve been grieving the loss of a dear friend for 20 months now & I see no end in site / sight / cite (for me, for her mom, for her husband, for a shitload of other people who loved her & miss her like crazy).

      Many so-called studies are conducted w/ an agenda to reach a preconceived outcome, BTW.

      • Psych studies are really hard to control. This classic result by John Bargh recently proved not replicable, and he’s being a total Donkey about it: saying PLoS isn’t real peer review, etc.

          • Public Library of Science, an open access publisher of many different journals. Not familiar with Bargh, but PLoS journals ARE peer-reviewed (PLoS One is the world’s largest peer-reviewed journal)

          • Thanks!
            My brain is refusing to engage today.


    • It would be nice if Bonanno’s theory about resilience were true for everyone…it would make the rough patches in life so much easier. From what I’ve experienced and observed, the five stages of grief are real and unavoidable.

      • I too believe that there are stages, but all five don’t always apply to every death, IMHO.

        When my friend committed suicide, #1, DENIAL, was only momentary for me, I had to leap straight to #5, ACCEPTANCE, to forgive her, or I would have lost my mind, I think.

        Some of her family members are so deeply entrenched in denial, still, & some of accusations that have come about as a result are truly heart-breaking. I could never have imagined that family dynamic could be shattered like it is now.

        I have my bouts of #2, ANGER, when I really need her & no one else will do cuz she’s the only one I’d ever dream of sharing some personal stuff with, & then I turn into a squall baby because for the 4/5ths of my life that we were BFF’s, we never were angry w/ each other & it hurts so bad to know, after the fact, that somehow, some way, she herself was hurting & no one at all had any clue.

        Whew! Sorry for TL;DR … I just had to purge.

        • & I meant to add that #3, BARGAINING, was never on the table in this case, but I sure tried to bargain when my dad got sick.

          YMMV, KS, but I’m pretty sure the stages exist for most people, excluding narcissistic donkeys.

        • “I just had to purge.”

          Your purging is much more attractive than Donkey’s.

    • Yes the 5 stages are only a theory and more relevant to the individual who is dying than to others. “Acceptance”? What the hell is that? My 5 stages of grief are anger, anger, anger, anger and resentment.

        • In regards to death, or things in general, like ended relationships, etc?

          Either way, I disagree, but I’m genuinely curious as to why you say that …

          • I’m sorry about your friend Brayella. My first experience w/ a suicide was when a family member did it when I was 16.
            A few years ago, a childhood friend committed suicide in such a way that not only is her death still hard to grasp, the way it happened is horrific. One of the nurses caring for her for the months she lingered after her attempt reached her burn-out point and changed careers.
            It’s not easy on the ones left behind.

  10. Donkey: as always, the work of Kubler-Ross is less pertinent to you than that of Dunning-Kruger.

  11. This whole fiasco is bringing back memories of an ex-friend of mine who inherited $800,000 out of the blue from a spinster aunt she met only once (I thought these mysterious relatives who up and die to leave you money existed only in Dickens novels). She was in her early 20’s.

    In a few short years, she blew through absolutely all of it and on almost nothing, too. Let me give you the rundown.

    She first bought a BMW for her long-suffering mother who raised her as a single parent. Fine, and good. Then she bought a BMW for herself. Then she got a nose job. Then she got a second BMW for herself. Okay, but there’s still a lot of money left.

    She gets it into her head to go to law school. PAGING AFGHANI. She ends up at such a shitty law school, which shall go unnamed, but think bottom of the fourth tier if anybody even ranked it. A law school which has to stipulate on its website that its “Now ABA accredited.” This law school is $35,000+ a year because it’s a for-profit law school that’s unaffiliated with any university. (Afghani at this point can probably guess which school.)

    Her investment adviser at the private wealth branch of her bank (it’s just like Citi or its equivilant) of course wants her to keep the money with the bank so he can dick around with it. He encourages her to take out student loans for her tuition and living expenses. She does so, then spends 5 straight years trying to finish her law degree. During this entire time, she’s living the high life just like Julia. $3,000 a month apartment, expensive shoes, dresses, traveling all over the place for no reason, etc.

    Then 2008 happens, and because she left her money in the market with an investment adviser who was only looking out for his own interests (he gets a commission off every trade he makes for her account and every financial product he sells her).

    She loses like almost all of it. What she didn’t spend on useless crap she lost in the market.

    And now she has 5 years of law school loans to pay back. And no, now that she’s out of law school, she still has not managed to pass the bar.

    She also has BPD like Donkey and ruined our mutual friend’s wedding.

        • Okay. I’m mildly worried I’m giving away too many details here but I can’t think of what I could sub in because this whole situation was so uniquely fucked up.

          We were bridesmaids for a mutual friend of ours. The bride had in fact secretly married the groom a year earlier because she needed his health insurance benefits. Her parents are really, really, really religious people and so she never told them — and she knew it meant a lot to her family to have the wedding.

          The heiress (haha) TELLS the bride’s mother on her wedding day that their daughter is in fact already married and this is all a big sham! Umm, needless to say, there were lots of tears and familial relations were never quite the same. Also, she punched the bride’s mother later on the dance floor.

          • Bride’s mom was in a glass box of emotion that day and turned kind of a 180… started out pissed at her daughter for getting secretly married (“I never would’ve spent all this money on your wedding if I had known you were already married!”) then realized what an enormous bitch the heiress was being for trying to purposefully cause family drama on her daughter’s wedding day. Started yelling at the heiress and the heiress punched her.

            It was, let us say, a bourbon-soaked wedding.

    • This person sounds like someone who would inherit ONLY from people who barely knew her.

  12. Annie Lalla seems to be a significantly more disgusting human being than even Julia. Ew. Does she have a hate site?

    • Srsly, a “gold mine” analogy re: someone’s reaction to a wealthy relative’s illness? Well, we know what you’re thinking about, Annie. Does anyone make contacts that make your eyes look like you’re always seeing dollar signs? Annie needs some.

    • I don’t know who this person is, but her website looks sooo scammy. Never trust people who use gradated backgrounds in either their website or in Powerpoint.

      • She is her hubby are doing some Love intensive workshop in Las Vegas for $700 per person or $1,000 per couple. They thing they’re going to get 400 people to go.

        Are people out there that bat shit?

        • Are people out there that bat shit?
          CASE AND POINT:


          • Donkerina hasn’t talked about her Amazing Psychic Guru Erin Pavlina (ex-wife of Steve) in a while. Maybe Dadsers pulled the plug on funding that?

  13. LMAO. Can’t. Catch. My. Breath.


      • The captcha on the previous fauxto was “BIGFOOT” so I was already tickled … then “EXPIRATION DATE” paired w/ the “Janis Spindel’ caption of all things almost made me say out loud “Hello? Is someone there?” … then I typed in her 30th birthdate & wondered if I’d made someone on the other end at TinyPic laugh (not really, I know that’s not really how it works but apparently I’m delirious from too little sleep & laughing maniacally at my own jokes like a donkey who didn’t go to bed until the sun came up).

  14. Now Donkey is belatedly braying about last week’s Forbes article on Sara Blakely all over Twitter and Facebook. She clearly thinks she’s about to come into her FU money. So gross. Oh, and Donkey? You have NO attributes in common with Sara Blakely.

    From FB:
    If you read ONE STORY this week, read the Forbes cover article on SPANX founder Sara Blakely. See what you can do with $5k, an indefatigable personality, a fantastic freaking idea – and the inability to take no for an answer. Sara, in other words, is my new role model.

    • Funny, this issue of Forbes just arrived in my mailbox today. I haven’t read the Blakely article, but I did notice that in one photo she’s sticking her tongue out and it reminded me of something Donkey might do. Neerneeer neer neer… “I made fuck you money! You said I couldn’t, but I did!”

      • Oh, maybe it just came out online last week? I hate to give the Donk any ounce of credit, though.

        I thought it was a very interesting article but it’s pretty hilarious to watch Julia’s thought process on this. “I can’t be Carrie Bradshaw? Will be self-made billionaire!”

      • [img]http://blogs-images.forbes.com/clareoconnor/files/2012/03/0cmN93AbdtgMz_3449.jpg[/img]

    • This makes me LOL. Oh, Donkey. Donkey with a bone is definitely better than lazy Donkey of late.

      • I’ve never seen someone with such a lack of self as the Donkey. She is glomming on to a new personality every 6-8 weeks. It’s so bat shit nuts.

        • Yes! She’s always looking for the next person to idolize and try to emulate. “I’m going to be HER, no HER, no forget her, I’m going to be HER instead, no I think I’ll be HER.” It’s all so very weird the way she jumps around from person to person. She envies the success of each one of her temporary idols and wants to be exactly like them, but it’s laughable to think she has the brains, the talent, the sanity, or the work ethic it takes to be anything other than a dumbass donkey.

    • The thing about Blakely is that it’s clear she worked her ass off (without aid-financially, that is) of friends, family or grandparents on their death beds.

      It very clearly points out that she worked her day job while she got the business started and was the person in Bloomies/saks/on Home shopping Network, pimping out her product herself.

      That means no staying up till 4 am googling herself and doing damage control. That means no sleeping in until noon. Foolia would never have the discipline to be a self made billionaire. She’s waaaayyy too lazy for that.

      Blakely had a great product to sell, as well as selling herself (however you feel about that). Julia just has herself to sell and that ain’t such a good product.



      • I was blind with tears at the first line. I had to walk away, breathe, come back to read the rest.

    • Every one of those is applicable to Our Donkey except for “lanky”. Of course the pelts get pretty lank as well as stank, so the judges might accept it.

  15. She is trying to hurry it up because she has to be in SF on the 24th. THERE IS A DUDE AND SHE WANTS NEW SHOES!

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