UPDATE: Facebook “Family Circus” Moments

Yes, very comical. I am struggling to catch my breath, I am laughing so hard. If by laughing, I mean vomming in the shower, like this guy:

More Facebook fun: Apparently this is the status update of some lucky guy who dodged a donkey bullet:

Peter Weisman: Somehow reminded of Julia Allison this evening – a woman who stood me up one night – realize being dissed by a loser isn’t worth posting – but she was a prolific loser – not a ny’er!

“A prolific loser.” Brilliant. Truer words were never typed. And wait, the ALL THE GIRLS!!! girl once stood someone up? Can you imagine the outraged, anti-male public braying if some dude stood her up?

UPDATE: Now with exciting video in which the Sundance dudes sound annoyed by her. I love the nonchalant, “cool girl” voice she’s employing here. She’s That Girl!!! Hanging out with her dudes!!!





    • But really, phase? It’s precisely what toilet julia said: she’s fascinated by the idea of a guy so enamored by her (talented and rich are prerequisites but if he’s neither it’ll be OMGhipsterromance like Kendy&Jordo!) that he has written a song JUST for and inspired by her… because she is a muse. Frankly, if she’s chasing musicians it’s because her typical targets aren’t biting. The only tradeoff will be songs written about her (at her request) and publicized so ALL THE BOYS (the ones she’s actually gunning for) will see how desired, in demand, and soon-to-be snatched up she is (so act fast!), all of which is so desperado and sad that I just kant.

  1. am I the dumb (wait, don’t answer that).
    I do not understand this Peter’s post, although I probably want to marry him!

  2. For someone who believes in Karma so much, she sure treats people like shit. Does she not understand that she will be alone the rest of her life for acting like a hosebeast aka Karma?

    PS, HER FACE!!!!!!

  3. What I love most about this exchange is how Flusher Price reveals her own true nature. She’s openly dissing Donk by saying she doesn’t understand “why she has such an infatuation with people singing songs to her,” which — correct me if I’m wrong — I read as major shade? And THEN goes on to ask a male musician to send her the song he wrote for HER? Methinks Miss Urinal Cakes just alpha-ed her sister.

    • It’s so obvious that Taryn Southern, Toilet Julia’s best friend, can never the donkey so I am guessing once Toilet Julia has “released her latest EP this summer” and the Bravo cameras have stopped rolling, she will never the donkey, too.

  4. Can someone to a thought bubble on that guy with Frumpy Julia that says, “BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS.”

    It would be hysterical!!!!!

  5. What did she do to her face? Can someone smarter than me lay it out? It looks so puffy and greasy. I am terrified.

    • Think it’s lotsa fillers + spackle + seldom washing + college freshman sleep schedule = puffy + melty + greasy

  6. I wonder if Frumpy Julia and Toilet Julia went on their road trip this weekend. Me doubts it.

    Last night Frumpy Julia spent all night posting pics of herself on the Facebooks.

    • Knowing Frumpy Jules, ‘roadtrip’ probably means she wanted Skinny Jules to drive her the whole way so she could hang with this dude she is jocking.

      If that is the case, I hope SJ put the nope on that right quick.

  7. You know for a struggling musician Flusher Price doesn’t seem to gig very hard. My cousin was in a band and they would play every weekend at any joint that would let them.

    I assume she has other means of support?

    • She doesn’t seem to come from money—my lazyass Nancy Drewing of her via Facebook suggests that she’s the only one of her generation of Ilowieckis who didn’t go to one of the smaller New York state schools, etc.—but she can’t be making more than $500/month, tops, from her gigs (my huscat, who is a musician part time, has played many of the same venues). So it is a mystery.

      Maybe she does something decently paying but unglamorous for freelance cash, like medical transcription? She seems like a hard worker, unlike Our Donkey.

      • But Flusher did attend the University of Miami, which is NOTORIOUS rich kids school with high tuition & housing costs, not to mention a great music program. So what happened?

        • But UMiami was aspirational for her, per that blogpost by her HS friend (I am on the iPad so too fat to link it). And she went there to be on the diving team.

          • And I thought she went there because of the music program. Silly, silly me. Just 15 seconds of listening to her sing while playing that shitty Casio should have made that thought D.O.A.

      • Yeah, but just ‘cos her parentals went to state schools doesn’t mean they didn’t make bucks at some point. Gooooooooooooood Bleeeeeeeessssssss Aaaaaaaammmmerica.

        Julie Alberston does not associate with poors.

        • Her cousins or siblings (can’t tell who’s who, but Ilowieckis of her generation, not the previous one) went to places like SUNY Cobleskill. That just doesn’t seem like family cash.

          Also, no Ilowieckis on the boards or donor lists of the Troy charities at all, so it seems unlikely that her mom has family $$.

          • I know this must seem creepy as fuck, because it is, but when I used to work in non-profit fundraising, this kind of money-sniffing Googlestalking was a big part of the job.

      • She seems like a hard worker</b?

        Based on what, exactly? I've missed w/e it is that she does.

        • If you Google her under her old name, you’ll see her doing lots of charity benefits, etc. She seems only modestly talented to me (at best) but takes a lot of low-pay and no-pay gigs, which is usually a sign of a good work ethic in musicians.

          • I see what you mean, & would agree to some extent (my musician friends are all generous to a fault & always step up on playing for charitable events too, partly for good karma, partly for good exposure (they’ll do what they love given any old reason) but then again, practically all of ’em hold real 9-5 M-F jobs, & that is my idea of hard work, five days + four nights, week in / week out.

          • I agree Brayella, she and Donkey are on a road trip to SF and not coming back until Tuesday. Nice life!

          • Don’t they have to be back on Monday so they can go to work? Bwahahahahahaha! Those two little girls will never grow up and will never have jobs. Dadsers must be so proud.

          • See, my huscat is a lazyass musician (who, admittedly, has a pretty demanding day job plus a super high maintenance wife) and he almost never does those gigs unless a good friend is organizing them.

            I agree that Donkerina is a bad influence on Flusher Price!

          • I know what ya mean, Albie (& of course I don’t know who turns down what) but among the musicians I know, there’s a strong bond & network of support for each other or friends & family of each other (when it comes to charity, musicians & bikers are the best).

    • She and Frumpy Julia are busy taking meetings, doncha know! This Bravo show is going to shoot her into the stratosphere! Anyone who doesn’t believe this is such a jealous hater!

  8. “Prolific loser” is indeed excellent, like that other Donkey-in-a-nutshell description, “aggressively stupid.”

    Where IS that liveactionvominshower picture up there from? Is that Donk and Prom King on their romantic Valentine hotel sleepover?

    • Oh, I just looked back at the comments in the previous post. What a ridiculous concept. It reminds me of the prom picture she had taken of herself in high school surrounded by All The Guys. Moron.

  9. As someone who has dated quite a few musicians, there is no way in hell Miss Donkey would be able to handle being in a relationship with one of them.

    First of all, you are second to their music. Think you’re going to get big, fancy, elaborate dates Donkey? Wrong. Most weekends will be spent at some shitty bar, wishing you could go home, but can’t because you have to wait for them to stop playing, and stop schmoozing. You will be expected to lug heavy equipment and deal with drunk girls hitting on your guy.

    Also, Donks wants someone rich? HA! Good luck. Most musicians are broke and dudes with a dream. I once stole food from the headlining band’s green room with my (now ex) musician boyfriend, because they had the good cheese and fruit plates, and red bull.

    There is no way in hell Donks would be able to deal with any of this shit. She wants to be the pretty little princess? Don’t date a musician. All the attention is on them. Trust.

    ** I know there are some good musician guys out there, but I tend to date douches, and I have a lot of guy friends who are musicians and they are all like this. Nothing bad on them, but I don’t think that Donks would be able to deal with the lack of attention thrown on her.

    • this. julia thinks dating a musician means he will spend all day writing songs about her and serenading her. she has no fucking idea. obviously every guy is different, but, as usual, her perception is pretty much entirely wrong and based on fairytales and rom coms.

      • My limited experience with dating musicians is that, being creative types, they have a lot of shit going on internally that comes out in their songwriting. This is about as far from serenading as you can get. If she’s lucky, Donkey would have a guy write a song about her describing how fucked up their relationship was or what a psycho she is.

  10. Just updated the post with some video of her riding the chairlift with the New Girl dudes. You guys will howl at her attempt to sound cool.

    • She is trying SO hard to be Zooey’s character on the New Girl:



      ‘I’m just the quirky, fun girl on an all boys ski trip. The boys have to help me get my boots on since I’m such a klutz . This guy is such a player! He’s just like Schmidt on New Girl. HAhahaHAHA! That’s why I call him Schmidtyyyyyy in every photo.’

      • Her face here scares me to death! What is it? it’s like she’s a creepy painting of someone’s grandmother.

      • Calling all Donkey farriers!

      • Julia’s whole family skis, and I’m sure she grew up skiing — and she doesn’t know how to put on ski boots correctly by herself? You know, like a big girl????

        She loves being infantalized.

          • Whoa. There are some eerie similarities there. Except Julia was never that good looking, and Trigg actually had some talent once upon a time.

          • All practicality was tossed aside so she could experience the rush of getting attention on the street.

            Yep, girl was definitely a donkey-in-the-making.

          • I’m still reading (all over the place w/ irons in the fire) but, wow, every other sentence is customized donkey mania.

            “She was fired from Scores. She thought that if her mother just set her up, bought her a dress shop or some business to run, everything would resolve itself.

            Fired from STAR; set up by Dad$er in a stall & a TMS job … except uhm, er, oops, nada resolucion!

          • “…Ultimately, the two split, says Juskow, “because you couldn’t have a conversation with her. It was all about her, how she could succeed in the industry, how she looked. After we broke up, I’d see her prowling around my street, and I just know she made dozens of phony phone calls to me.”

            Holmberg pauses. “She scared the hell out of men. As smart as she was, she had a very adolescent sense of what a love relationship should be like. She honestly thought that dressing in tiny outfits was what attracted men and what got you ahead.”


          • Interesting article. I’m pretty sure Julia is heading down a similar path i.e. drug abuse. It will pick up in her mid-30’s as her looks deteriorate even more. This is her last shot at trying to become “famous” and she’s about to fail at that, AGAIN, and nobody can date her longer than a month. This is not going to end well, but frankly, she deserves it.

          • Jacy, have you tried a neti pot? It takes a little getting used to but it works wonders for allergies and sinusitis and your sinuses feel great afterwards. Otherwise I’d recommend using a saline solution spray you can get OTC at a pharmacy (or chemist shoppe, a la donque) it’s non-addictive & works just fine.

          • That’s true. My doctor said never to use the hot water directly from the tap; she recommended boiling it first then letting it cool to a comfortable temperature & it’s all good.

          • JFA, one has to boil the water first, then let it cool to the appropriate temperature. Which it says really clearly on every nasal rinsing device ever sold.

            Neti pots and nasal rinse bottles are highly recommended by every ENT I’ve ever seen, but, yeah, if the user isn’t following the instructions, it can be risky.

            I think the NeilMed nasal rinse bottle is the easiest to use. Far easier than the neti pot.

    • Her “Tee-hee, I don’t know where we are. I just go where i’m told” makes me want to punch her right in her freakishly wide Muppet mouth. Ugh. Brayge.

    • Chairlift loser in pink goggles…what a surprise! It must have been a huge pain in the ass for those guys to have a stupid clueless donkey tagging along with them on their ski trip.

        • Nope, NOT a good look for our beady-eyed, asymmetrical-nostrilled, muppet-mouthed avalanche brayer.

          • The way she’s pursing her lips like some persnickety ol’ blister is so … odd …

          • I just figured out what her nose reminds me of…


          • @Handbag

            sssshhhh…there, there. Dr. Gary is gonna make it all better.

            *sets up couch with extra pillows and grandma’s handmade quilt. gives Handbag a vicodin and a xanax. pours two glasses of red wine after it’s decided that wine is better than food. vote on a John Hughes marathon. determine the marathon will start with Sixteen Candles.’

      • Ugh, it just makes me kind of sad. There’s open contempt in that video. The first guy snapping “No we’re not” when she describes where they are; the second guy snapping that she’s narrating the snow. They’re all annoyed and she is clueless and/or trying way too hard.

        • You’re right but hello, clue in, Donkey. How many people have to treat her that way in how many different situations before she accepts she is a loud-mouthed annoyance who needs to tone it the fuck down and stop trying so hard. Honestly, I would have been mortified watching that video. How can she not hear the contempt, never mind see it and experience it in real life, face to face, all the fucking time. How can she not see, watching the other video, how annoyed her agent was when she kept braying LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT!! LOOK AT IT!!!! LOOK AT IT!!!!!

          Skulk away, Donkey, do some serious soul-searching and ask yourself how you can honestly expect to find a lasting partnership with anyone when you are this much of a loud-mouthed annoyance to everyone you encounter. And CHANGE.

          • I am hearing a lot of criticism here


            Narcissists reject any comments or critiques they disagree with and they always have a reason why it’s you and not them who putting forward a wrong foot

            Fat? Jealous?

    • From looking at the pictures of Shortbus Donkey getting help with her boots, it looks like food and drink was purchased by the group.
      Think Donkey brought enough BPC to share?

      • she looks horrific in her ski headgear. OMG. like a wizened old lady. i’m sure the guys loved her cockblocking all weekend.

    • Either that guy is heavily botoxed or he was not at all amused: FROZEN FACE!

      SHe’s the worst gift giver in the world. There’s a video of her giving the pointy Puerto Rican that giant bear and the donkerina went on and on about how great of a gift that is. A STUFFED BEAR. FOR A GROWN WOMAN.

      • Well, I would not be psyched if this bitch showed up at my house and started braying and video tapping my kid while she asked for seal claps over a shit cosmetics bag. Why doesn’t he, like a normal manager, take her out for breakfast every now and again? I would never a donkey at my house.

    • Seriously! If your dog is squirming it neither wants to be where it is nor to do what you want it to do. Accept that, asshole!

      Throughout the first one I was hoping that Lilly was simply going to start shitting all over the place. Her only means of defence after all.

    • Also, way to teach a toddler that pets aren’t toys or accessories, but have to be treated with care and respect, asshole!!! That poor, poor dog. Always looking so resigned and she either knows better than to growl or show her teeth or is the most patient little thing in the world. The two fluffy white lap dogs I know (a Maltese and a small Poodle) would have ripped off her sausage snappers once she ignored their obvious warning signals more than once.

      • LOOK AT IT!!!! LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!!!!

        Did she not get enough attention as a child? What the fuck is wrong with her?

      • That poor dog. Being pulled and brayed at to do was Princess JA wants. Lily must be scared and confused.

        I hate the way she narrates in an attempt to be funny when it is clear the video is not going her way. Then when the kid moves on to something else, TV, she thinks observational humor will save her video? No, first of all you are not funny Julia, like, never!

        She thought the video was gonna be piles of cuteness when she put her pretty dog next to a baby and watch them interact. Well Dumbass, your dog is not trained so she just gets scared of you roughly handling her, forcing her to be petted by a child. I swear, if no one else was in the room she be pulling at the kid–damn near ripping his arm out of the socket just so she can make him pet the dog.

    • I would be SO GROSSED OUT if that thing (Donkey) spent even one minute in my house. Everything about her is so disgusting, including her awful voice.

    • No, Donkey. Tne tv is so much more interesting than you. Even toddler boys find you repulsive, much like adult men.

    • Just came over here to post that, too. It’s seriously making me CRAZED the way she pushes and pulls that poor dog around. Especially considering the dog is fairly old at this point. I’m still livid that Momsers and Dadsers saved Langdon but didn’t refuse to relinquish Lilly (sic), too.

      Also, the kid is clearly not that interested in petting the dog. Way to try try to force him to do so over and over again. “You can pet her! Pet her here! Pet her here!!!!”

      PS: It’s MONOGRAMMED!!

    • Seeing her silver-nailed sausage fingers dig into Lilly’s back to force her to sit, so that she could be used as a toy made me want to call the ASPCA.

      Well, it made me want to slap the Donkey and then call the ASPCA.

      And then slap her again.

  11. Oh, the ski lift video. Everything about the guys’ body language screams, “we thought this was going to be a kickass ski trip full of black diamond runs, beer, and potential hookups, but we’re stuck with this pink and white nightmare instead.” they look like they can’t wait to ditch her.

    • I am shocked, except not really, that she just does not get it. Every time she posts a video, she combs off this way. Remember the Taryn Southern bday vid? Same thing, it is BLATANTLY obvious she is the person in the group everyone is trying to ditch. Then she posts a video to the world which illustrates her awfulness? I cannot even imagine how awful she must have been in middle school. I think someone has said it before, but she reminds me of Lara Flynn Boyle in Wayne’s World.

      • The Taryn Southern birthday video is a perfect example of how Donkey cannot seem to fit in to any group of people, no matter who they are or what they’re doing. Her extreme aggressiveness, loudness, bossiness, and trying-too-hardness puts people off and turns her in to an outsider. But she keeps on pushing and pushing and forcing her way in because she just doesn’t get it.

        • Exactly, and that’s the main reason it just KILLS ME DEAD that she constantly brays about being so totally GIRLY. Oh honey. All the pink in the world wouldn’t make you a real girl. (Especially now that you’re 48, but that’s beside the point.)

      • I don’t understand, though, that people obviously keep inviting her to things. Julia Price agreed to be her roommate. She’s been to lots of weddings. She goes out to dinner with Taryn Southern. Why, if they’re so contemptuous of her, do they keep including her in things??

        • Does no one else have ‘friends’ they keep contact with for their entertainment value? Or am I just a really bad person?

          Also, is there already a Free Lilly? I can’t come up with a good username around these parts.

    • Also, note they are all wearing helmets except speshul Julia…

      O/T is the stupid spirit animal hat thing ever going to die????

  12. We’re in deer valley. No wait. The canyons. No. The canyons? Really? Aren’t I cute with my fuzzy hat and pink goggles? U boys are all wearing helmets but I am too cute to put on one of those black buckets things. And the rental place only had pink helmets in kiddie size. Don’t I look cute? Did u see? Did u? Look! Look! No at me! Look. At. Me. Schmitty!!!!!

    • It’s funny because in her videos, no one ever wants to play along and have fun with her. These guys who are stuck on the chairlift with Chairlift Loser would love nothing more than to have her shut her yap and get back over to the bunny hill!

    • It hurts me that she was even there because I have skied The Canyons and ridden on that awesome old time-y chairlift that goes downhill at one point and she shouldn’t even be there in that stupid outfit braying like a dumbass Deschanel Wannabe; she is unworthy of that breathtaking locale. Something about the way she said “there’s a lot of criticism here” because they are basically telling her to shut up and stop being stupid would have caused me to push her off the lift if I had been one of those dudes. I wonder how badly they later maligned Greasy for even knowing her.

      • I go to Canyons (they change it to Canyons, took away the “the”) almost every year, and she would just be one of those dumbasses my teenage kids and I would point at and make fun of. And she probably fell off the lift on her own, without even being pushed, because her ski pants are so godawful tight. I would NEVER be able to move in pants like that unless they were made of lycra, which they are not – they are the puffy kind – size up, bitchface. SIZE UP!

    • Donkey’s ginormous head requires a custom helmet …

    • Deer Valley is a little outside of park city and isn’t even that close to Canyons. How can she get that wrong? I think she was tying to lie and say Deer valley and the guy called her out on it and she tried to play it off. Donkey couldn’t afford a lift ticket to DV unless dadsers was buying.

  13. Can someone explain to me why Greasy would take her on this trip? Was the thought she might bring hot friends? Or get them into parties? Does he has access to Donkey’s green skin tagged vagina? He’s not hideous, I would think he would need to take a plane ride to get laid. I is so confused.

    • I’ve been wondering the same thing about why he’d drag her along but I have a feeling it was more like she invited herself and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I agree with you that Greasy wouldn’t need to leave town in order to get laid, but I do think he’s a little bit hideous.

          • I wonder if Bravo did pay for Donkey & TGiF — is he enough of a tight wad that he wouldn’t think twice about completely altering plans for a Guys Ski Trip w/out their consent?

            It doesn’t look or sound like her presence was at all humored, much less appreciated …

    • i think someone had mentioned before they had it from a reliable source that greasy thinks julia is his ticket to parties/the good life. while they may have been true a few years ago and worked more in his favor with hanging out with in the know people at sundance, i feel like despite whatever evidence there is to the contrary (ie not going to parties) he is still holding out hope for pay off.

      although i dont really know what greasy expects to gain from it in general given he doesnt work in entertainment.

      • We heard that from a friend of his, though didn’t post it at the time because it would have been obvious who was tipping us off.

      • I think the fact that he invited her skiing during SUNDANCE is the clear tip off here, cats. He thought she’d be able to use her F-list access to get them into some parties. End of story.

    • Again with you people and this question….



      Now can we stop asking this? He’s a bigger loser than she is.

  14. They all sound absolutely sick of her. They probably wanted to throw her off that damn ski lift.


  15. [img]http://i43.tinypic.com/2nscn5u.jpg[/img]
    Loser lost Loserville title

    Donkey’s only crowning glory …

  16. Can she EVAR not be a Category 5 Cunt?

    “That’s a lot of complaining coming from someone who’s not video recording.”

    She must be INTOLERABLE in person. Oh, and honey? The reason you’ve never seen someone drink a beer on a ski lift is because you’re a sheltered midwestern hick nobody who knows nothing of the world.

    • That complaining is coming from someone who doesn’t want to be video-recorded, you thick mule. Driving people to drink in the A.M. should be your 1st clue that you are fraying (braying?) nerves.

      • I mean it’s just so clear they are all absolutely sick of her and want her to shut the fuck up.


      • Please let us agree that it’s okay to drink in the a.m. if someone else is driving the ski lift. I mean, RIGHT?

        • I absolutely agree that drinking on vacay should know no time constraints! Personally, I never skied w/out a bota bag full of drink (I’ve even been known to buy out the liquor store of Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnaaps on more than one occasion) & that’s kind of what I was going on, that despite being unprepared to get his drink on (no flask; no bota bag), dude went to the extreme of toting a can or cans of beer on the lift ride w/ a braying maniac.


        • It seemed clear to me that the guy was drinking to calm his nerves. I think he’s the one who shrieked: IT’S CANYONS!!! They probably waited around for her for hours, and all the non-stop, high-decibel bray-yammering must have driven the guy to drink. She is so bitchy in the way she points it out, as though she is personally insulted that he’s sucking back a beer on the chairlift.


          • “Daddy Drinks Because You Bray” is an awesome book title!!!

            I bought it with its companion piece “A Loud Mouthed Donkey Who Blows For Shoes.”

          • No doubt the same guy who said: “If I have to come over there & force those ski boots on your cankled hooves myself just so we can finally get out of this GD fire trap, I’LL FUCKING DO IT, just you wait!”

  17. According to Toilet Julia’s Twatter, she and Frumpy Julia are road tripping it to San Fran. Maybe Frumpy Julia has her sights/sites/cites on one of Greasy’s friends. We know how much she likes load car trips to meet men.

    You could not pay me to be in a car with a donkey for 7 -8 hours.

    #Ad #Monogrammed

  18. OT, best friend returned from Chicago and says she had a great time, in no small part thanks to all the amazeballs insidery recommendations from you Chicago-knowing catsluts. Thank you again, haters! xoxo

  19. watching Downton Abbey this weekend, and always thought it was Downtown and they were saying it all funny English and stuff…. finishing up season 1

  20. I think my favorite part of that video was “I like to narrate.” How badly do those guys just want her to shut it? It always amazes me how Donkey is so utterly unable to take the social temperature in a group and adjust accordingly.
    I bet Greasy got a talking to from his friends for bringing her.

  21. OT, but I’d never seen this dragstume in its entirety:

    Yeah, I body-snarked, what of it??!?

    • Oh My God! Is this the same suit she was wearing when she was photographed with the Clintons? No wonder she got into the event; she was wearing a stripper skirt.

    • Sweet Jesus. I had never seen the skirt and the shoes, I don’t think.

      1. She wore that at some big event, perhaps the White House corro dinner, in front of important people. And thought it would impress them.

      2. Why does she believe she has the legs to carry off any short skirt, never mind this atrocity? Oh honey, no. Not then, not now, not ever.

    • It’s like a “Slutty Jackie At Dealey Plaza” costume. Tasteful! And if she wore it to the WH Correspondents’ thing and met the Clintons in it, even more disturbing and ghastly.

    • Nice too-small, inappropriately short Forever 21 suit, Donkey. I sure as hell hope you didn’t dress like this when you worked on the Hill. (Paging Belle.)

    • The hoof-covers are a smidge too big. She must have borrowed them. (Can you imagine lending your shoes to A Donkey? I kant.)

  22. Mexicans!

    Is there a way to tell for how long an image has been online?
    Is Donkey subliminally planting new fauxtos out there?

  23. Apologies in dvance for SF;SS, but Donkey’s bottom lip is curdling ..

    • She’s gotten botox in her upper lip- just like that “model ” on the Bachelor this season- make the mouth very odd, upper lip pokes out and doesn’t move. I’ve gotten it myself (once and never again).

      • That girl from the Bachelor – her upper lip scares me!!! Why do botox vs. fillers? I’m genuinely curious!

        • I think the botox is meant to keep a gal from getting the lines that later need to be filled in with fillers.

  24. What La Burra would look like, had she not effed up her face


    I predicted that Frumpy, Dumpy Plumpy Julia drove to SF for a date and her Facebook confirms it.

    So desperate this donkey! (So her promise of a “road trip” with Toilet Julia was really a ruse so she would have company for a 7 hour drive to meet a guy? Mmm ‘kay.)

    • Donkey is in love, fuck you haters!!!!

      JuliaAllison It’s one of those nights. The ones I won’t forget.
      3 minutes ago

      • i’m imagining it went down like this, with gluten-free pasta of course. and more gaping maw.


      • Because when I have a night of an amazing date, the first thing I wanna do is go on FB and brag about it.

        Actually, no I don’t. I’m too busy basking in the afterglow of great sex and/or conversation. When I am lost in boyland I barely remember the internets.

        You are a loser.

  26. Cats! Kittens! I just watched my first JA video. Please make it go away.

    I’ve been on this site forever but mainly because she was incredibly horrible and ever present on Gawker and then I found this community full of wit and humour. But I’d never heard they bray.

    My god, she didn’t sound like I thought she would at all – less screechy twang and more chain smoking zanaxed bitchy old lady.

  27. Ugh, I just watched her latest videos of Lilly with the manager’s baby. The way JABs manhandled that dog is fucking rage-inducing. And trying to force the kid to pet Lilly and forcing Lilly to stick around just for the sake of a “cute” moment?? What a control freak. Donk, if you applied that kind of effort and follow-through to anything other than your desperate and futile and transparent attempt to come off as ador(k)able and lovable, you might actually be successful at a real grown-up thing. She really thinks there’s no such thing as trying too hard. I guess searing that dumb “let it unfold” credo into her flesh did zero to help her chill the fuck out and let go. (Or channel all of that manic energy into something useful.) Weirdo.

  28. Watching that “late night” video of her was like falling into a giant black hole. It was like potato chips…if she’s this much of a whiny bitch in that one, then what about all these OTHER ones?! Somehow I found the ones of her and Jack McCain in his kickass car. He looks SO angry that she is videotaping them as he’s driving. It’s this gorgeous Porsche, with racing seat belts and looks like it feels amazing to drive in. And if you look at his face when he’s shifting, it’s just so aggressive and angry looking! And she just doesn’t get it. I still can’t believe she dated him. He actually seemed kind of normal and like he just wanted to enjoy a gorgeous sunset joy ride in his car, not “narrating” what his car does and where they’re going and whether or not it has power steering. Dumb donkey.

  29. JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Hanging with my high school girl (& famous hand model) Elly Benson & her roommate Tim at Dolores Park. lockerz.com/s/179007261 – 2 hours ago

    “Famous hand model”. Lurlz.

    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    I’m listening to a guy give a sales pitch here in Dolores Park about gluten free vegan soy bacon pot brownies. This is epic. — 3 hours ago

    Crazy hippie San Francisco! It’s so wild, man!

      • @Brayella- I think she meant, “soy bacon” whatever that is, but she’s such a liar it scarcely matters.

    • Also, “gluten free vegan soy bacon pot brownies”- she totally made that up. First, that sounds disgusting. She made that up or exaggerated because she thought it would sound cute, and also sort of mocking, a cliché of San Francisco.

    • It’s so sad how she has to brag about each and every time anyone agrees to spend some undoubtedly irritating time with her.

    • I just…why does she think anyone cares? It’s mind boggling. I don’t even give my parents this level of detail about my day to day activities. Because they don’t really give a shit. Going out with friends? Good hope you have fun. The end.

      NO ONE CARES if you are hanging out with some nobody.

    • Now I can see enjoying some straight up chewy fudge brownies with bacon. I have zero problem with that. I wouldn’t, however, add the pot to them because that sounds heinous and I will never the vomit. So take the pot out, go with real bacon, gluten that mess up, smoke the pot. The end.

      • I lived for six years in San Francisco in the 2000s, dead central near the Haight, and no one ever once gave me a “sales pitch” for “gluten free vegan soy bacon pot brownies”. Like , never. She made it up, maybe she heard someone was selling pot brownies, and she just had to embroider it, because she’s such a fantasist. Aka, liar.

    • Famous hand model? For realz? Sure she didn’t rip off David Duchovny in Zoolander for an hillarzballz joke?

  30. At brunch today, my friend invited a friend who mentioned Jezebel and Gawker and, well. I had to ask if she knew who Donkey was. She did, because of Gawker, but was puzzled by why so many people hate JA. WHERE TO START? I feel like writing an intro to Donkey for the uninitiated.

    • give her a shirt and initiate her

  31. Ok, just started We Need To Talk About Kevin, I am only into paragraph and I hate the voice, especially when this is supposed to be a letter. Is this book worth it?

        • I’m on page six, and I’m trying to rework the novel in my head without the letter format. I’m gonna stick with it because of you fuckers, but I just told myself, “We need to talk about whiskey.”

    • I love that Julia is so boring that we have to read books now. I can’t wait for this year’s birthcray.

    • I hate the voice, too – only trying to finish because I am sick of scrolling past commenter threads on RBD. Kevin should have killed his mother for being so long fucking winded and impressed with herself.

      • It’s incredibly self-indulgent. Is Franklin ever going to write her back or is he (AHEM!) “unable to.” That’s the only way these letters would make sense.

        • Her voice is annoying as fuck and I hated it for the first two “chapters,” but then you get caught up in the plot and it doesn’t bug you as much. But she talks like no American I’ve ever known. And is very impressed with herself. Which, I think, helps you understand why a mentally unhinged child would hate her even more than the rest of the world.

          • yeah I was reading stuck on a plane and had to put it down several times and watch “Moneyball” instead because it was annoying, but after I was done with it, I liked it. If that even makes sense. I was glad I plowed through it.

            IF you have the version with the interview of the author in the back, you can see the narrator is basically HER (biotcchhhh)

          • I didn’t have that version, but I read the Slate article with her where she admits that she was working through her own feelings about having kids through the book. I kind of liked that.

          • did the slate article make her sound good? b/c she comes across a classist, racist, narcissistic bitch in that one and you can see the narrator in the interview

          • I can see how the voice fits where I think the book is going. But I find her revolting and could not tolerate a person like that in front of me in real life.

          • bitchface, no it does not make her sound good. She still comes off as totally heinous. And cakez, the article you serviceyly linked to was on Salon, not slate, fyi.

        • Keep in mind, too, that Franklin blames her for the kid going so wrong. So you may or may not see any replies from him.

    • Yes, stay with it! I finished it last night and it was sooooo worth pushing through the slow, annoying beginning. And sadly, you get used to the voice. If she was sweet and nice and normal, the book wouldn’t be nearly as good, would it? I hope you enjoy it as much I did.

      • Exactly. The voice has to be asshole-y. If it wasn’t, it would simply be a “bad seed” story, not a nature-versus-nurture story.

  32. Also I finally got around to watching the ski lift video. Those guys hate her, like, so very much. That video is the very definition of contempt.

    • Yep. They were past the point of even being nice about it. The only reason they didn’t throw her out of the ski lift right there was the fact they’d suffer legal consequences.

      I bet Taylor got endless shit from them. “Dude, why the FUCK did you bring this slow chick you bang on the ski trip? I’ve never met a more annoying bitch in my liiiiife.”

      Again, Julia NEVAR evAR reads here, so unless she proves otherwise its pretty clear that on the ski trip ALL THE BOYS hated her.

      • This is why I think Taylor invited her. For some reason, Taylor thinks that Julia has connections. He invited her solely to get into cool parties at Sundance, and from all appearances, they didn’t. He probably built up Julia to his friends as a ticket to the inner circle, and that didn’t materialize, so his friends were pissed that they had a deal with a spoiled, spackled hosebeast all weekend.

  33. Has this already been discussed? What? Is the point of this video? It’s literally just her saying “It’s day 1 of FW!” cut: “It’s day 2 of FW!” You can see the series of inappropriate “I look like I’m going to a wedding” outfits, and stupid tacky jewelry. Also, stop yelling.


      • She is seriously POISON on camera. Just noxious and awful and really difficult to even look directly at.

        When she blew the “kissy face” at the end of her intro I literally said, “Ewwwww!” out loud. The questions are so fucking banal, the interviewees so clearly annoyed by this random loud chick with the stolen NBC mic flag.

        She honestly thinks she’s charismatic and engaging. I really just feel like I’m watching a retarded girl on screen. She’s so crushingly unintelligent and stupid.

        • What a stupid painful question to ask. “What are you doing for Valentine’s day.” Um, asshole? THEY ARE THERE ARE FW, QUESTION ANSWERED. Also, not everyone is perpetually 13 years old. Most adults don’t give a crap about Valentine’s day.

          When she’s not being insipid, she’s being a bitch. Just so painfully bad on camera. Also, pretty much none of these segments ever saw the light of day. She so obviously edits them herself or has someone do it on the cheap. Painful.

      • AND she’s a cunt. That question is so rude. The “bitch please” looks in this video are plentiful.


    • I have a real thing against loud talkers. It stems from my mother being a really loud, braying, interrupting talker — I believe it’s an NPD trait. As a result, I am a serious quiet/low talker, but in any event, it bothers me so much that I have to leave the room and/or otherwise get away from loud talkers immediately. I don’t know what I’d do if this chick was in my space loud-talking. SHUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

      • The reason she’s never gotten an actual gig like say Guiliana Rancic (even though she’s annoying too but in a different way) is because she wants to talk more than the people she “interviews.” She could always do a voice over (shudder) but instead MUST. INTERRUPT. TO. SAY. SOMETHING. DROLL.

      • Preach it, Jacy! Loud talkers will most likely be the end of me at some point. My boycat comes from a family of notorious loud talkers and I barely make it through visits without descending into madness or screaming at them to shut the fuck up. Ironically, Mother Loud Talker always is the one to remind people to not speak so loudly (mainly when they are saying something she doesn’t like to hear, but that’s another story) and usually she does this right before entering a screaming match with someone over some irrelevant shit, such as whether her son is wearing a t-shirt she doesn’t like. My quieter nature probably confuses her and the rest of the screaming banshees…

        • My in-laws are also shriekers, but they do it in a foreign tongue, so I always think they’re fighting. But that’s just the way they communicate. So unnerving. I sit quietly and drink heavily.

      • Recovering Loud Talker here (also an ADHD trait). I’m going to print Jacy’s comment and tape it to my desk.

      • Certain loud noises give me sensory overload, which is quite the mindfuck. Hearing Donkey braying up close & personal would probably make me faint (like headbanger music has been known to do).

  34. This godawful dog mistreatment breaks my cruel catlady heart.

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