Photoshop Contest Hosted by Cuntbunnies!

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Hello, fellow catlady hat0r basement dwellers! While we (im)patiently wait for JP’s faaaaaaaaaabulous end of the year recap, I thought I’d step up and host a wee lil photoshop contest.

Here’s what you gotta do: Illustrate a donkey meme, or one of our fine usernames. And by usernames, I mean yours or someone else’s, past or present. (If there’s one from 2 years ago that tickles your catlady fancy, feel free to use it.) For example, here is a self portrait of me, CUNTBunnies! in the wild:

Or, as an example of a meme, our long-lost pal Loren shows us how he really feels deep down in his coal-lump heart:

Although by now, it’s more like “Never the Loren” amirite?

So, chug your Aunt Gertie’s patented raw-egg-v8-horseradish-snake-venom hangover cure, scarf down your walk-of-shame-chili-cheesedog and get crackin’!

We’ll create a poll of all the entries we receive by Thursday, and have voting from Friday-Sunday. As a prize, Cuntbunnies offers to photoshop anything the winner wants: a pic of their own cat riding a roller coaster, the catlady and Brad Pitt on the red carpet, their real-life nemesis in a compromising position, or whatever.

SUBMIT YOUR ENTRIES TO hoohoobunnies AT yahoo DOT com and fcamping at gmail DOT com BY THURSDAY.

103 COMMENTS

    • I’ve lost count of how many times he has quit the Internet, quit Twitter, deleted all his videos, then re-uploaded them, then deleted them all again.. Stopped following that attention whore a long time ago.

    • What is he TALKING about? I could only flinch and shake my head while reading his last couple of days.

    • Looks like he got drunk and landed on PartyPants blog.

      I just looked at some pictures of the fattest ugliest drunkest girl I might have ever laid eyes on. She of course has a snark blog dedicated to goofing on girls prettier, thinner, and more fashionable than she is. Oh yeah they all have men too.

      She can’t afford to eat but lord knows she can afford to drop like 100lbs. so I guess it’s working out for her just fine. Why would you write that you can’t afford to eat on a blog?

      Such a shame this good vibe will be lost in the morning, when so many of you will go right back to being an asshole.

      [img]https://twitter.com/#!/loren1938/status/152106257568903168/photo/1[/img]

      • Nothing says “Internet tastemaker” like bizarre rants about women’s looks, unless it’s bizarre rants about how SEXXAY you are and how women all want you.

        Presumably he’s drink, but doing this on his business Twitter is yet another example of how he’s an idiot who doesn’t know how to drive the Internets properly.

        • Why? He’s an asshole and a pompous imbecile who gets (like Our Donkey) opportunity after opportunity despite his total incompetence, shitty attitude, and lack of professionalism.

          • Yeah, I expected that question.

            I guess because I’m more sympathetic to the mentally ill than my commentary here in regards to Donkey would typically indicate?

            If Donkey ever posts a picture of her & a gun (not the mere vanity fauxto that she’s already done w/ one, but rather a ‘make my day’ one like Loren’s appears to me) then I’d be doing a quick 180 in regards to her mental health as well, primarily out of concern for those w/ whom she maintains grudge matches.

            Hope that makes sense.

          • Of course I have compassion for him as a human being, but even thinking about him in that light it seems to me that a giant public implosion might be just the wake-up call he needs to get help and stop being such a toxic jerk.

          • Whoops, our posts crossed in the ether.

            Yes, I see your point about compassion for someone who is obviously unhinged, but I think the sooner his oil spill of cray and hate is addressed by professionals, the better for the whole environment. Including him and his family and friends.

          • One of the weirdest RBD moments of 2011 is when he thought we were some guy named Erik who allegedly caused his marriage to break up. Um.

          • I’m intrigued. From what I’ve seen, she hasn’t posted about him or done anything to attract his spite.
            But he seems crazy anyway. I was just wondering why he was getting all attacky for (from what I’ve seen) was nothing

          • After what that unemployed imbecile did to Shel Israel a few years ago, he can fuck off with his righteous indignation about snarking on other people.

            He must be a trust fund baby, the only thing close to work I’ve seen him ever do are those half assed puppet videos that get maybe 2 dozen views on YouTube..

          • Trust fund, ha. Loren Feldman blogged that he’s from a broken family (with hints of abuse). Now lives in his sister’s basement and tweets when she makes him a sandwich.

            It’s pretty sad and reaching the point that putting him in an image might not be the smartest or safest thing. PP asked people to drop it, between that and making her blog private (she’s not really the type to do that) I think maybe we should all move on.

          • Yeah, I think we should all drop it. I know a bit about this situation and he’s been incredibly abusive to many involved.

            He believes wildly paranoid things about both RBD and GOMI.

          • Do not care about Loren but can’t stand PP and don’t know why you all rush to her defense all the time. She should post ONLY, where she writes well, but stay out of the comments. She comes across as a snotty, entitled bitch to those who are there supporting her work (and not to mention the mutitple hypocritical things she says in her own blog then turns around and contradicts in the next breath). Yeah, she’s funny, but then I read her comments and I”m like WTF does this bitch like ANYone at all? She turns on people at the drop of a hat.

            So, I don’t the love for PP at all. It’s like you all are afraid of her or want to be with the cool chick who is mean to everyone else. To me, same thing as she’s bashing on her blog. RRR is the worst ass kisser to PP. And I fucking like that little bitch (RRR)

          • Ha, I knew someone must be taking care of that lazy fuck. His ex-wife must have had money then, cuz he sure as hell never seemed to have a job. 🙂

          • …can’t stand PP and don’t know why you all rush to her defense all the time

            I’ve re-read preceding comments (twice) & have come to the conclusion that you’re confusing mere observations w/ so-called defense. Srsly, other than your own post, I don’t see anything that gives a distinct impression of how anyone feels about PP one way or the other.

          • While I agree with most of the above poster’s criticism of PP, I can say that Loren is bat shit insane and you don’t want him on your badside.

        • I don’t know, but he attacks anybody for any reason. He’s just a sad little asshole. He will go after CEOs of companies, mommy bloggers, random internet personalities, and people who disagree with him with equal amounts of vitriol and hate and swing low from the get-go. He’s truly a unique form of pathetic and nasty, even for the internet.

    • JP is working on it. He even (says he) gave up his new year’s eve party in order to be servicey. So we need to be patient…..[img]http://i1008.photobucket.com/albums/af208/12lindaterry/KITTIES/fedce0ea.gif[/img]

  1. OT-
    I am *this close* to adopting two adorable chihuahua pups. One is almost a year and one is about 4 mos old! I’m pretty excited about it! After our cat died two years ago (my fiance bought her when he was 13 with his paper route money) I really missed the presence of an animal in our life.

    If all goes well they will be ours in Feb, and I’d have to go back home to Canada to pick them up.

    🙂

  2. Happy New Year, fatties! I had so much sex.

    When not banging, I read “We need to talk about Kevin” because all of you fatties were going on and on about it, and I can’t wait till the end. So far great read (I’m about half-way through).

    Spoiler alert: if i have to guess how it ends, I would say Kevin murders his father in some cryptic way. Am i close??

    • I just read it too, thanks to the advice of catladies. It started out great, but eventually I got so ragey about the way her idiot husband and asshole kid ganged up on her that I had to stop reading. I quit shortly before the sister was born and skipped to the end. I don’t want to spoil it for others, but I will say that even though I saw what was coming, the end was still pretty good. (Though not good enough to make me want to risk an aneurysm by reading the rest of the book.)

    • PS – I also started reading Kavalier & Clay, again thanks to you catladies, and it is amazing so far. (No spoilers, please!) I would never have thought I’d like it based on the jacket blurb, so thanks to all for the great book recs, and please keep them coming!

      • I LOVE Kavalier and Clay! I haven’t read it for years, but it was very much my favorite novel the year it was released.

    • LALALA I can’t hear you LALALA.

      I said it in the other thread, but I hate everyone in the book. I hate the wife, too. Not just the husband and kid. Everyone in the book comes across like a total asshole. Since the wife if narrating, I am blaming her for it.

      I’m reading it on brah’s ipad, so I keep having to stop while the stupid thing charges. This is not how books are supposed to work!!!

        • As someone who is, no matter how much I try, also a bit cold, I find her uncomfortably articulate and, if not entirely sympathetic given the circumstances, damn convincing about realities of motherhood. The thought of having children terrifies the fuck out of me right now.

          • This is why I liked her — she is brutally honest about the realities of motherhood. Everyone has moments of ambivalence during pregnancy and the early weeks/months, especially if your husband has been treating you like nothing but the vessel since the moment he found out you were knocked up (or in the case of my ex-husband, just completely freaked out and barely spoke to me for months when we found out I was pregnant.) Sure, her voice is a bit annoying and pretentious, but she’s not an asshole, and actually tries hard to love the kid even though she knows viscerally that he is fucked in the head. Honestly, when I read that book, I thought to myself that I would have left the husband and the kid. I would have walked out. The fact that she didn’t spoke to her strength of character and commitment to trying to be a good mother to the little prick.

          • Agreed, Jacy. I sympathized with her and I HATED her idiot husband. I totally would have left when the kid was about four. Left and relinquished custody. That was the one flaw in the book I thought…how could this intelligent woman love that total moron of a husband? But I loved the maternal ambivalence theme…as a mom of 3 little ones, I can completely sympathize. And as a teacher, I am terrified of potential Kevins out there!!!

          • As I am reading, I think to myself that I would have left, too.

            She wouldn’t, though, because she is too conscientious of what others would SAY or THINK. Because it doesn’t fit into her idea of what is ‘appropriate’ or befitting of a woman. Because she is too proud to back down from this challenge, when she overcame so many more, and because somehow she almost seems to enjoy her own martyrdom.

            I must be reading the mom completely differently than everyone else, because I just reached the scene in the restaurant where Kevin makes the list on the table, and I am like, “YOU TELL HER, BOY!”

            In that moment, I actually kind of LIKE Kevin. More so, at least, than I have liked a single other character in the telling so far.

            Again, I am not done, and reserve the right to revise my opinions later.

          • Sure but that is a big part of mothering/parenthood — societal expectations of what is right and good for the children and the awareness of how villified you’ll be if you don’t do what’s expected of you. Fuck, half the parents I know actually chose to have children for those reasons, not necessarily because they had a burning desire to be parents.

            I liked that scene too because he did call her out on many of her flaws. But they’re the types of flaws we all have. Not the ones that would turn our offspring into homicidal psychopaths, however. But she thinks differently. It’s like having a kid who turned into a serial killer because his mother ridiculed a donkey.

            She was certainly a flawed character. But I think that’s the whole point of the book. She thinks her flaws created a monster. As a mother, I could really relate to the ways in which we blame ourselves for everything, far more than any father I know. The father, in my mind, was far more to blame for Kevin’s issues than she was. He was willfully blind and provided no boundaries, no backup for his wife, he failed to draw any lines in the sand, he did nothing but deliver platitudes because it would have required too much work to deal with reality. He was far more flawed, I thought, yet he took no responsibility for anything.

            I thought the scene Eva had with the other mother in prison was a really significant one.

          • So far, I like her. I think she’s very frank when most people would pussy around choosing their words carefully.

            I literally cheered when she said “I often hate you too, Kevin” after Kevin told her he hates her.

    • I won’t say what happens, but trust me when I tell you you will WANT Kevin to kill his father.

      And don’t skip the middle, particularly when the sister is born. Ohhhh boyyy.

      • I was begging the characters to please NOT HAVE another baby. They didn’t listen to me!

        • I know but you can kind of see why she wanted to and how she thought it might help him, her, everyone. Oops.

    • I went from that book to Room, have you read it? It’s also great. Two books about the mother-and-son bond but at polar opposites. I am really loving it; can’t put it down.

      • I read Room over the summer and loved it. It was absolutely incredible. I also read Visit From the Goon Squad, which I also liked.

        • I wanted to like Visit From The Goon Squad more than I did. All my friends raved about it. But I thought she jumped around too much and just as you were getting into a storyline, she dropped those characters and moved onto entirely different ones. Great writing, but wasn’t thrilled about the plot/structure.

          Next up: Swamplandia. Anyone read it?

          • A Visit From the Good Squad just about killed me DED, I loved it so much. Swamplandia is on my desk right this moment!

    • I’m reading it too, 52% through according to my Kindle. I cannot put it down and I also now never want to have children, I think. (We should tots have a RBD book club. Too bad Donkey has no reading comprehension skills, attention span, or abilility to contribute meaningfully to conversation because this might actually be a good book for her to read and, you know, process.)

      • What was chilling to me is that I KNOW some nasty children who emerged that way from the womb in a family where there were other loving, normal children and two good parents. It’s the whole “bad seed” element of it that I found so fascinating.

        • I haven’t read the book yet but I’ve been having an ongoing argument with my man about this exact thing, because he has some family members who are terrifyingly dysfunctional for no reason (no drugs, no alcoholism, no childhood trauma) and I said his kids could potentially inherit that. I think that when kids turn out rotten but have great siblings/parents, it’s often the genes of one of the parent’s crazy sister, brother, or distant relative being expressed. He says it can “just happen” for absolutely no reason, like a fluke of nature. I’d be really interested in hearing anyone’s thoughts or experiences on this, since I don’t have kids of my own and find it really interesting.

      • RBD Book Club! All the “We Need to Talk About Kevin” talk this week has urged me to download it right now. Can’t wait to read it!

        • I’ve read some great stuff recently because of catlady recommendations. I find I am out of the loop on what to read, even though I love reading. So thanks, RBD!!! I’ll take suggestions anytime.

    • OMG, idiotbox, I had basically the same New Years celebration! Lots of time in the Bone Zone and a few long, can’t-put-it-down sessions with “We Need to Talk About Kevin” (also purchased on recommendation from you lovely catladies!) on flights to and from my New Years destination.

      I’m trying to break my addiction to trashy shows on Investigation Discovery and Bravo and return to my once-loved habit of reading (which had soured over the years by entirely too much time spent in academia…) and so I figured “Kevin” would be a good way to ease back in to enjoying literature while still satisfying my strange “true crime” obsession. Oh man, although I found the author’s writing style a bit pretentious in an amateurish way, I quite liked the actual bones of the story. What a perfectly horrible little sociopath Shriver created. Makes me utterly terrified to have children, though.

  3. I am disproportionately excited to see all the hysterical submissions! I’m off to comb through the glossary for inspiration. Squee!!!

  4. Went out for dinner and drinks with friends and spent half the time bitching, “Why is everyone more sympathetic to this character?! What am I missing?!”

    Came home and read and the ipad died in the very last five pages, but I got the brunt of the story. I feel only slightly more for the narrator, though I can’t go in depth since I am on my phone (hence why not commenting in-line. Yes, I know it can be switched off, but that causes my phone browser to crash.) I took a long warm shower after and began running my brain through the permutations of “Franklin” “Eva” (aka, mother Eve) and “Kevin” (anagram: An Evil Frank?) before deciding I might be simply consigned to “difference of opinion” territory on this one. I do feel *slightly* more sympathetic toward her, though. I find her an unreliable narrator, however, and that makes all the difference for me.

    • totally unreliable because it’s hard to tell if she was unloving toward kevin when he was a baby, or if he was unlovable. and all those events where she couldn’t really prove kevin was involved….but i kind of like the unreliable narrator thing.

      • I feared she was unreliable until he inked her office. And then I was with her. Fuck you, Kevin, you little shit.

          • Perhaps but she can’t be totally unreliable given the kid did what he did unless you believe standoffish mothering results in homicidal, psychopathic children. In which case, that will be news to my mother, who was not only standoffish but mean, and the four of us haven’t killed anyone.

          • I actually sought out info today, and found a good interview with the author from Salon.com. She says that we ARE supposed to question Eva, who IS biased in her perception of Kevin. The idea that people find her wholesale sympathetic was not the author’s intention.

            It made me feel a little bit better about my ‘far out’ read. I also have been contemplating the book throughout the day (in between reading “Room”) and I am gradually becoming more understanding about the character, and my own feelings toward her.

            For on thing, I contemplated the style of the narrative — she is on a journey of introspection, fairly recent to the crime, and it isn’t like she could know that Kevin would be more thankful and scared in the end. In that respect I did become more sympathetic to her. She works through some of the things I found irritating about her.

            Also, while she might have been unlikable to me, and rather cold to her child, of course she didn’t ‘deserve’ what happened. Nor did she exactly cause it. However, I believe there is supposed to be ambiguity about how much of her coldness toward her son might have played a role in how he turned out. He wasn’t just born evil, and she did influence him and much of his detached behavior.

            Perhaps that was the big thing that kept resonating in me throughout the whole novel to make me frustrated with her. She keeps holding him at such a distance as being so different from her, but in reality Kevin was far more like her than she recognized — at least initially. He recognized this better than she did, despite being a child. While she constantly claims to accept the ‘blame’ for how he turned out (more of that faux-martyrdom I mentioned before as an annoying, while she herself criticizes the American willingness to blame-shift), she also keeps absolving herself of the blame in the same breath with, “He was just BAD!!!”

            Ultimately, though, I think she does find a good balance of realizing how similar they were, how much of her struggle with him was actually mutual combat, and how she isn’t to blame for killing the others, but she definitely played her part in his upbringing, and some of the resulting pathology. I respect that.

            Don’t get me wrong with my critique — I loved the book and it has definitely got me thinking. I just find there is a great deal more to the relationships in the story than just “Dad is an asshole, Kevin is evil, and Eva is the long-suffering saint.”

            This is the interview, if anyone else would like to read it. I also really appreciated insights into the author’s feelings about motherhood, as she ‘wrote through’ them in the novel. They’re very similar to my own, which is probably why my initial reaction within the first hundred pages was that Eva shouldn’t have ever had a child to begin with.

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