Me!! Me me me me!!! Me me me me me me me me me

By
Gilly Blake, CEO at Reimagine Julia Allison
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322
238

 

 

Must every birthday wish, message of congratulations, braying about impending marriages or friends free of cancer come down to her and how these people or events affect her personally?

She is either “so proud” or “so grateful to have them in my life” or “so appreciative of how they have enriched my existence” about every fucking accomplishment or turn of good fortune of every person she knows. As though they are personally doing her a solid by living a productive life while she lies around harassing her exes and Googling herself til 5 a.m.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my FAVORITE DOMESTIC GODDESS, @Brit. I am so lucky to have you in my life, sweetheart. xoxox

First, why Twitter? Facebook or a private email won’t do?

And Brit Morin is “in her life,” is she? Really? That’s interesting given I have heard from more than one source that Brit merely tolerates her, finds her an embarrassing buffoon, and keeps her at arm’s length but is genuinely “too nice” to completely ignore her.

Also, if I may rant. She has posted a link to a blog post by Eater Guy — she manages not to call him an ex, progress!! — and raves about his writing and his sentiment. It’s one pretentiously written paragraph about calling a woman post-coitally, after a “most enjoyable evening,” and then a list of various methods of communication.

The creepy thing about this is:

1. She must fucking read that guy’s blog all the time but it’s usually about OMG FOOD I CAN’T EAT ANYTHING I HAVE A DISEASE OMG OMG but now there’s just the hint of something personal, so she pounces.

2. He must have broken up with his “not to mention tiny and cute!” girlfriend; again, she’s pouncing.

3. She’s a creep.

 

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322 COMMENTS

    • that’s exactly what I wanted to write. Brit is… something else. I mean her custom napkins are just…no, don’t. and the water battle mailer: sigh. Someone on GOMI said it perfectly 1. one heaping bottle of nasty 2. someone’s nana will bleed herself to death while trying to get the fucking note out.

        • Wait. I’m supposed to want to emulate her? Aside from how dumb her content is, I’m kind of shocked by how underwhelmed I am by her environment. Her kitchen is a mess. It’s not stylish at all.

          I am no way connected to tech-y scenes, or how people live, or whatever. I guess I just thought she’d have a nicer spot. But my apartment I keep with my catman is, while a small little starter, more organized, more home-y, more attractive. And even so, I’d *never* consider it a place that I’d want to photograph/video and publicize on a “lifestyle” or whatever blog.

          • My kitchen is snogging ugly as fuck. But yeah I’m not a gazillionaire and I live in a 3rd floor walkup in NYC. And I’m not a domestic blogger. That place looks like a cluttered mess.

          • Oh, I thought that photo was taken in a family member’s kitchen at Thanksgiving. I just can’t imagine that a couple that young would have that much crap on their fridge.

          • I’ve never seen that Western Family brand out here, that was the first thing I noticed. Don’t think it’s her house.

          • I am shite as far as decoration goes, and my house still has the look of a 22 year old’s apartment, due to my penchant for thrifting with utter disregard for interior design.

            Regardless, that kitchen makes me itchy.

        • that looks like the kitchen of an 80 year old lady right before they haul her off to Alzheimer’s camp.

        • That kitchen is… not attractive at all. I am decor- and fashion-challenged as a general rule, and lay no claim to domesticity (though I’m a fabulous cook and Baker of Gluten). But my kitchen is much nicer than that — a clean, streamlined space with a united color scheme. A kitchen is the easiest room in the house to pull together, IMO, because it isn’t as ‘complex’ as the lighting/furniture/accessory/art decisions to be made in other rooms.

          I do not understand the fail here.

          Also, I bet my cinnamon rolls are better.

          • I made awesome makeshift cinnamon rolls last weekend. I was craving those can cinnamon rolls but only had a can of biscuits, so I made a modified monkey bread recipe. Cut up biscuits, dredge in cinnamon sugar, arrange in baking dish. Melt brown sugar, butter and splash of vanilla in a saucepan, drizzle on top of the biscuit pieces and bake. To die for.

            AND I’M NOT MARKETING MYSELF AS SOME KIND OF DOMESTIC GURU!

        • That’s not the kitchen of a 20 something “lifestyle maven” or whatever the fuck she’s supposed to be. That’s the cluttered, dirty, 80s style kitchen of your 50 year old aunt Dottie who owns 5 terriers, shops from QVC and is an extreme couponer. She also smokes a pack a day and is on disability.

          • maybe it’s not their kitchen? where did they spend thanksgiving, with family?
            also, this comment under that apple pie post indicates it was someone else’s house:
            “Looks like Thanksgiving was delicious at the Stanaway home!”

          • Agreed. I believe my friend Dr. Robin Zasio would classify this as a category 3 hoard. I would definitely not want to eat anything that was baked in that pile.

          • I’m sure Julia doesn’t really watch (let alone evaluate) any of the content. All she sees is tiny and cute! Married to rich tech founder! Vanity blog bankrolled by husband! Cameras and camera crew! Huge rock on left finger!

  3. I’m not sure why she never has an epiphany. This site obviously gets tips, like right now from people on the Bravo show, so she knows that she’s being mocked. Her “friends” talk about her. She reads here constantly. So why hasn’t any of this sunk in?

  5. Well if it’s true that Brit merely tolerates Julia than that tweet is obviously her attempt to publicly fake closeness with an Internet fameball. Which she does every day.

  7. Well, I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m very grateful for the horror pelt hanging over her left boob.

  9. Everyone who enters her sphere becomes another prop, piece of scenery or background player in her very own off off off off off Broadway version of Man of La Mancha: “I’m Donkey, Quote Me”
    Failing to recognize other people as real living entities independent of herself and having importance without their connection to her is another sociopathic trait of hers.

  12. Best. Title. Ever.
    Pretty much sums up everything about Julia anyone needed to know. All about Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  14. Dear Colleague:

    As you know I am the founder of mybaldrunyoncanyon@gmail.com, an innovative electronic messaging platform.

    We are in the process of evaluating strategic alternatives, which is very tech. Touche.

    Personnel branding is infeffablouse, which is why I am in confidential discussions with the Harvard Business of Schools.

    While I believe I already have the ability to run a school, I agreed to participate in this important meeting since I had not yet eaten.

    I was not surprised to see that they invited 90 of their top managers to be there to discuss me and my visionary innovation.

    Inexplicably the discussion quickly shifted to accounting fraud at Enron, but I was able to jot down several circles and stars in my notepad while nodding vigorously.

    Although I won’t be available, this group is planning to meet daily to continue the dialogue. That said, I do expect Harvard’s founder and CEO in the near future.

    I will certainly keep you posted on our progress.

    Best regards,

    My Bald Runyon Canyon
    Founder, mybaldrunyoncanyon@gmail.com

  15. Maybe it’s just me, but I would be really annoyed if someone sent my birthday message on Twitter. Facebook is bad enough. How many platforms am I supposed to check to see who said happy birthday instead of just calling or texting?

    • On principle, I don’t wish people happy birthday on Facebook. It just seems so insincere to me. I don’t even list mine on Facebook.

      • I hear you. I will say that I don’t mind FB birthday greetings from people I don’t really keep in touch with. I mean, I would be a little creeped out if my high school track coach e-mailed me, but a FB message is acceptable. (Yes, I am FB friends with my high school track coach. No, I don’t know why.)

      • Same here! I text or email or call, depending on who the person is, their connection to technology, etc.

        I don’t want Facebook telling people wish me HB.

        My friends know when it’s my BD.

    • There you go Peltergeist, making your birthday all about YOU. Gah. How are people supposed to know what a thoughtful person I am unless I publicly wish you a happy birthday?

  16. Great post Jacy!
    Does anyone else find her recent use of all caps in tweets Frightening? It’s like her mania has totally consumed her and she has steam coming out of her ears at all times. If being photographed was her drug of choice, with video cameras filming her she is on an IV drip of the shit now.

    The comedown after filming ends is going to be brutal.

  17. That picture. Is absolutely terrifying. Also “sweetheart?” Are you fucking 65 years old?

    Just shut up for the love of GOD!!!!!!

    • She’s holding onto that dress for dear life. Like it’s made out of fabric instead of the same immoble, starchy plastic and polyester combo as her pelts.

      • That little hint of boobage! NO!!!! Her face looks bloated and pasty, that fucking hair!!!!!! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!

  18. When you google Eater Guy’s name, this is the 4th image result that comes up:

    [img]http://i41.tinypic.com/m8iu86.jpg[/img]

    And that, children, is why you should never, EVER a Donkey.

      • He looks like my huscat a bit, though my huscat has nicer eyes and no uggums face shrubbery.

        Of course, my huscat isn’t an asshat who’s publicly obsessed with his own digestive system, either.

        Honestly, that’s one of the best pictures of her I’ve ever seen. She looks like a reasonably cute drunk girl in her late twenties, instead of a freakish gargoyle covered in layers of spackle.

          • Lately posts show old pics of her and it’s weird because it’s not how she looks at all – even in this post – she doesn’t look nearly as busted as she does now.

            TO SUM UP: I like when posts have more recent pics of our busted donkey – the one of her at Ceelo’s concert at me LOLing all bray long

      • I think she looks very natural here ….

        & by ‘natural’, I mean: Hooves on the Furniture, of course.

    • Drinkin’ chardonnay out of a plastic cup. Klassy donk is klassy.

      (Just kidding. I know all you bitches drink your Franzia straight out of the plastic colostomy bag it comes in.)

        • She’s so self-obsessed that she lacks any kind of attention to detail. This is a great example — she’s so concerned with how these clothes fit on her that she totally ignored the fact that the colors and fabrics don’t mix well. Not to mention it looks like they’re at a party (or going out?) and that’s what she decided to wear.

          • She just…she either goes balls the wall prostitute attire, or she’s a slob. She’s just NEVER effortlessly hot, basically, is one of her myriad issues.

    • aw, they look cute and happy. (don’t shoot!)
      to think what could have been. paging obama’s speechwriter!

      • You make a good point, no wonder she lives in the past so much – she’s actually fucked up major opportunities to be with genuine, successful hotties.

      • Oh come on. They dated like five seconds. She and Loddy were also cute and happy for three minutes.

    • Yes, you are right. Chardonnay was the girliest wine I could think of and I really didn’t want to believe it was white. In rehab I met a woman about my age who had yellow skin because her liver was totally destroyed from drinking a magnum bottle (1.5L) of Chardonnay a day. Booze is booze but that much white wine? I’d rather drink battery acid. It’d be easier on my stomach.

    • I think that they probably just Googled for replacement photos (don’t know why they replaced the photos from the original post they were reblogging), and Our Donkey came up first under “white girl gang signs” or something.

  23. OT but according to her facebook, she’s been on cliche reality show date # 16, aka Horseback Riding Through a Vineyard. Sound like they are really breaking new ground with this show:

    Julia Allison
    Today was a really good day.
    14 hours ago near Los Angeles, CA ·
    9 people like this.

    David Prager I take it you didn’t even have to use your A.K. ?
    13 hours ago · 2

    Julia Allison Indeed, Prags, no AKs were used. Horses were ridden, though. Through vineyards. Pretty epic. 😉
    13 hours ago · 2

      • always a bunch of douchey ridiculous men who don’t grasp that she is narcissistic maniac with pillow inserts in her face…always with their asskissing.

        huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl.

    • I loathe the overuse of the word epic. Horseback riding through a vineyard is not epic. Hunting watercress? Totally epic.

      • My bile is rising and my agita is sprung…but I can’t blame it all on JA. My desk errands are piling up. Grr.

    • If someone had made that Ice Cube reference to me, I would’ve responded with “And my pager’s still blowin’ up!”

      • freaking brothers every way like MJ

        i’ve been known to quote the whole song (this one and rapper’s delight) randomly (in the kitchen, in the car). /annoying tendencies of white girls

      • Don’t you get the feeling that the Ice Cube reference flew right over her head, that she didn’t get it?

        • No, she got it, but she doesn’t truly GET IT. She’s quoted the song before:

          juliaallison: Today was a good day (I didn’t even need to use my AK!)
          10:51:20 pm on April 30, 2010

          Now, she “gets it” on the level that she’s probably heard some other thoroughly whitebread “friend” use these lyrics and is mimicking as usual. I’m sure canklehausen was had as “gang signs” were thrown (just like in the Taryn Southern birthday video) and they’re the only lines from the song she knows. She is “down” with “the homies”, you see? It ends there.

          Note that her usage in the old tweet is both plain wrong (even her cheesy friend who dropped the line on her FB got it correct) and backwards. Since knowledge of rap culture and appearing to be ~*hip*~ isn’t currently on top of her “todo” (© Creative British Living) list, humblebragging about a so-called “epic” horseback riding through a vineyard date supersedes it, and she couldn’t help but be smug with her “Why yes, kind sir, I hadn’t the need to utilize my Kalashnikov 47” (loose translation!) in the process. Personally, I find that date unimaginative; it doesn’t really vibe with her ideas of fun theme dates or the supposed FUN she used to have with her past luuuuhvahs. She must be desperate and think such an “epic adventure” makes her look klassy and sophistikated. Not so much.

    • Uh… horse riding really doesn’t strike me as a great first date. She doesn’t seem to care much about animals at all so I don’t know why she thinks riding horses is tho thexy. There’s no way she’d be able to connect with a horse. Her honks would scare the poor things before she even got moving. Plus horses fart loudly, poop, and pee buckets.

  24. Brit’s lifestyle website is fucking dumb. That cheese appetizer looks disgusting and definitely would not be “the coolest appetizer anyone will see at a holiday party.” She’s absolutely terrible on camera and her “recipes” make Jordan look like Julia Child. Dear god woman, you quit your job at Google or wherever for this “crafts for housewives on downers” bullshit? Seriously. Those crafts are straight from the horrid crafting books of the 60s that James Lileks makes fun of.

      • she’s so DUMB!

        was as fun and delicious of mine
        Spray your pan with any time of non-stick spray

        HERP DERP DURR HURR

        • use your fingers to adhere each crust into the hole of your cupcake pan

          Wow. I want to keep my fingers, not use them for glue.

          • I have been transfixed by this line on her bog (typo and it stays) for several Mississippis. WTF, Brit? “Adhere,” “fingers” and “hole” do not belong in the same sentence – especially not in a recipe. Please. Stop. Now.

        • I love her wording fail on her gross caramel apple muffin recipe: “Caramel Apple Muffins Are Too Delicious & Easy To Resist”

          Fuck yes they’re easy to resist. She adds ground up apples WITH SKINS to the muffin recipe and then tops each one with disgusting amounts of caramel and candy. If you’re not already grossed out, she puts them in a used shoebox that she painted and decorated on the kitchen floor. And then presents it as a hostess gift. YUMMY!

          • How are apples OPTIONAL in this recipe? Because apple-flavored things are just as good?

            also
            As if you were adding glitter to glue, add toppings to your carmelized muffins

            FIVE YEAR OLDS SHOULD NOT HAVE BLOGS.

            I have never added glitter to glue IN MY LIFE.

          • What the eff? THIS GIRL IS SO SAD. Holy Christ. It’s true she makes jordo look like Martha fucking Stewart.

          • Her site is the worst thing i have ever seen. Besides the typos and horrific photography, her projects are all gross/ridiculous! Geez, lady, invest in a good quality camera and spend five minutes re-reading your posts at the very least.

            Her projects remind me of Julia’s Valentines Day wish boxes video, which was truly the most awful thing ever created.

          • I’m still not totally clear on who this Morin guy is, I think I knew at one point and don’t give a crap, but I think he’s some big founder rich person? Pretty sad that accomplished guys feel the need to end up with talentless fucking twits like this. There are plenty of accomplished ladies to be found, gentlemen.

      • lol those do look sad, and just to prove it, she took 10 pictures of them at diff angles

        She’s also tiny, but not-so-cute.

      • what is that old-man claw in the corner? is that her hand?! i’m scared!

        [img]http://www.hellobrit.com/uploads/images/photo.PNG[/img]

    • lordy, i feel you, shamoolia! i flipped my shit last night over on GOMI about brit’s christmas cheese. i’m sorry, but anyone who tries to sell me on combining parmesan, cinnamon, peppercorns, honey, yellow bell pepper, and motherfucking “pre-made chives” is either a robot or does not eat food, like ever.

      i don’t know why this trick brings me to full blown RAGIES but i’m seriously fighting down the kanye all caps right now. . . and don’t even get me started on her repurposing of playing cards, or tying balloons onto wine glasses so that they look like mini rainbow condoms. all i’m saying before i go drink some rage-a-hol is that brit morin’s “friendship” with julia allison makes a shit ton more sense now.

      • Her recipes are worse than Sandra Lee’s. I think she may be a nontaster. Yeah Brit, great ideas. She wants us to roll out canned crescent rolls instead of making pizza dough? And top with Thanksgiving leftovers? Cooking eggs in a waffle iron is perfect, if you love eating rubber. The Christmas Tree Cheese is straight up DISGUSTING. If I brought that to any one of my friends’ houses I would get laughed out the door.

      • what. what. whatwhatwhat IS that?! people are supposed to eat it?!? cheese/CINNAMON/chives/peppercorns/HONEY/pepper?!? she is kidding with this, right? RIGHT??

      • I… just… wtf are “pre-made” chives? If I don’t get those, do I have to make the chives myself? Do you have a recipe for how I can make chives in less than a minute?

        • I bet she means freeze-dried chives in a bottle.

          Which are only worth using in something like soup, where they’ll have a chance to absorb some liquid and reconstitute and not taste like little shards of green paper.

  25. I was totes in talks with a friend to start a ‘lifestyle’ blog focused on stuff upon which I spend my money and time.

    Then I saw HelloBrit. I just don’t know anymore…

    • at least you know you won’t have competition from the “martha stewart of silicon valley”? now i don’t know what your skill set is, but i’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that you, random internet person, are MUCH more talented than brit.

  26. “I hope your Thanksgiving yesterday was as fun and delicious of mine.”

    I think Brit has taken our favorite Puerto Rican hostage and is enslaving her as a copywriter.

    • OK, she makes Mary look like a Mensa member, she makes Jordan look like Martha Stewart. And yet apparently she’s still not so dumb and useless that she doesn’t find Donkey ridiculous. That’s really something.

      • Donkey was flagrantly throwing herself at her then-boyfriend. She still cozies up to Brit’s now-husband. That helps!

  27. @JuliaAllison
    Seconded! RT @nickbilton: More often than not I find myself at home w/ my TV, laptop & iPad off, instead, I’m consuming everything on iPhone

    Hey, dipshits. Yous boths are retarded. Newsflash, we live in the OMG future where 25″ flat screen monitors are $150 shipped yet you are browsing the net on an $800 glorified calculator with dial up internet speed, a screen the size of a deck of cards, and an estimated lifespan of one year. The greatest feature of your iStupid? There’s over 9,000 landfills worth of non-biodegradable cases to play dress up– 2% of which actually protect the thing from damage. You fail at technology. Go back to 1994 and take your toy with you.

    • [img]cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/science/unimpressedastronaut.jpg[/img]

    • Let’s try that again.
      [img]www.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/science/unimpressedastronaut.jpg[/img]

      • Even if you link correctly, most websites have a policy of not allowing you to load an image from an external site because they don’t want their costly bandwidth used. The only way to get around this is to save the picture to disk, then upload it to a free image hosting site like http://www.tinypic.com (my favorite) and from there you get a link you can use on RBD. It sounds complicated but it really only takes a second.

        I’m glad you persevered because it was a funny pic.

      • Your link deserves a wider audience THWMFW. Here ya go:

        [img]http://i42.tinypic.com/259hf1t.jpg[/img]

        • I’m loving the user name These Hooves Were Made for Walking & now that the tune is stuck in my haid, I am trying to come up w/ wording A La Donké .

    • When? Will the world stop bragging about/fellating themselves over the use of the fucking iphone? I have one too, it’s fine and good. But jesus christ it’s a fucking PHONE PEOPLE. And yeah I’m watching netflix on my 40 inch flatscreen right now so kiss my ass.

    • I just don’t understand why, if you’re loafing about at home (Julia’s good at that!) you make a big deal of using an iPhone rather than the iPad. It’s the same iOS, it’s the same experience (sans phone), just bigger and easier on the eyes. It’s the same goddamned thing, if all you’re doing is “consuming”. A peculiar humblebrag of Bilton’s, and of course Donks is all OMG ME TOO! Ugh, these fucking people.

  28. Hey Al B Quirk Girl, was it thee who recommended ‘The Psychopath Test’? It just arrived today, for which I’m quite grateful as this morning I finished ‘The Marriage Plot’ by Jeffrey Eugenides and wanted to poke my eyes out and have a stroke and maybe drown upside-down in a bucket, I hated it so much.

      • Oh dam… I was looking forward to that, especially since its always ten million years between his books. I wasn’t too thrilled with the excerpts in the New Yorker , but the reviews seemed ok.

        • I enjoyed The Virgin Suicides a lot, and I thought there were many interesting things in Middlesex, which is why I was so RAEG about this one.

      • I’ve been asked to judge an end-of-the-year literary contest and I wrote to one of the organizers today and told him to make sure I’m not given that book, because I will bend the medieval on it. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

    • “wanted to poke my eyes out and have a stroke and maybe drown upside-down in a bucket”

      OMG, I just finished Madame Bovary, too!

      Nevermind.

  29. Someone needs to explain something to me.

    As a 23-year old, I am just starting out in my first “big girl” job. While my job isn’t always pleasant and the work is often tedious, I derive an extreme sense of accomplishment when I am able to complete a case or help one of our constituents. The pay isn’t much, but it appeals to my “save the world” mentality. Mostly it just gives me something to do during the day.

    What pleasure does one derive from being a “lifestyle blogger”? What are you accomplishing? Who are you helping? How are you adding to the greater discourse? What motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? When you look back at your life, what will you honestly be able to say you accomplished?

    When Brit wakes up in the morning, do she honestly think “hey! Apple muffins! This is absolutely what will fulfill me most today!”

    I hate to get all Feminine Mystique, but don’t you people want more for yourselves? I don’t usually call myself a feminist, but this shit makes me ashamed to have a vagina. I honestly wonder if the prevalence of “twee! lifestyle omg! housekeeping” blogs is setting the women’s movement back 50 years. Some guy left a message on our office voicemail last week stating “You women are bitches. Get out of politics and go back home where you belong.” Its shit like this that really makes me wonder if “get married/quit job/start blog” is going to be the new norm. Why can’t we see women succeeding and kicking ass? Personally, I’d rather read about what it was like to work at Google instead of how to avoid taking out the recycling. (Btw- if anyone has blog suggestions for women who kick ass at their careers, I’d love some suggestions)

    My grandmother was able to keep house, cook amazing food for nine people, be an active member of her church, volunteer at a women’s crisis center, AND work a minimum 40 hour week. She lived life with a purpose. What purpose do these people have? Why has the narrative become “get job/excel at job/get ring/quit job”?

    tl;dr – K_Swizz is cranky today

    • It’s OK to call yourself a feminist. These are very good points. I think a lot of these bloggers are filling themselves with candy-coated emptiness and creating some sort of identity (that is increasingly the same for all of them) for themselves from the outside — more clothing, “must-have” accessories, best beauty snake-oil products, best place for a bacon and waffle brunch, do-it-yourself (if yourself = a monkey) “projects”, and sticky wallpaper accents! buy buy buy consume consume consume! I won’t say they’re sad people, but it is sad to see how uncreative and uncritical they are of everything. Really, in the grand scheme of how things are going on Earth, it is (to me) pretty damn sad that getting a bow-tie accessory, or ‘being happy’ through making shitty spray-painted bibs, is so freekin’ important when, yeah, people are struggling to stay alive. It’s like a cult. The fetishization of material goods. This will make me better! I must photograph myself in this for my readers to see! True happiness!

      And the only ones I think are happy are the damn companies that make these empty, BS products. I’m not making sense, but I sure know what you’re feeling/thinking.

      You know, it’s sad because these people (excluding JA) can be smart and productive and, maybe, can change things. But to me, it’s such a waste to spend all your time in thinking about what freekin’ cookies to make and what color sprinkles to put on them FOR WHEN YOU PHOTOGRAPH them for your empty blog! What a waste. And these people are models for others! They have sychopant followings! It’s just sad. It’s so exhibitionistic and narcissistic in the end, I think. True living is living for others…seeking justice for others and having the compassion to not only care about your freekin’ sprinkle colors!!!!

      BRAYGEQUAKIN’

      • I think what bothers me the most is that if you are going to do this kind of thing – you better be great at it. A triangle wedge of cheese that is supposed to look like a Christmas tree is not great. It’s sad and it looks like you could give 2 shits.

        It makes me appreciate Martha Stewart more because she did not come up in a time where she could get ideas off Pinterest or the web. Her team had to really be creative.

        Brit is a stay at home wife – her wedding looked amazing and imaginative — but the water bottle Christmas card? No. Awful, tacky and cheap.

      • “buy buy buy! consume consume consume!”

        Nail on fucking head.

        These “lifestyle bloggers” aren’t “self employed” or “creative”. They are pawns of actual companies and the corporate mentality. Sad. What wastes of space.

        Brit Morin is bad at lifestyle blogging (or whatever she calls it) but, scary as this is, she isn’t the worst. At least she seems like a decent person. OTOH, look at people like KERF or Messica Quirk.

        • I tend to not hate the players, but I do hate the game. I understand why this is an ‘attractive’ lifestyle. You blog; you convince yourself that you’re “helping” others by telling them how to wash their socks with lavender scented vinegar you made in your sink and you use bullshit language like ’empowerment’ and ‘freedom’. It’s not empowering, or freeing. They contain themselves within the same norms that have existed for decades , but think because of technology, things are different than when their mom’s were their age. It’s lazy. It’s all about taking short-cuts, I think. It’s all about setting the stage and keeping up appearances. There’s no real work involved. It’s not labor like the rest of the world knows it …and they know it. But when you get down, you can take a quick trip to Zara for that all-important cashmere cardigan with rhinestone buttons. Better!

          • I understand the appeal, but not so much for someone who had the opportunities that Brit had. It makes me wonder if she has some Donk in her?

          • It’s laziness. JFA said it below, too. Although, I would think it takes constant justification on their parts…constant convincing that they are doing something. Maybe, they don’t think that hard about these things. I love thinking hard about things. Maybe, that’s the problem.

          • Just look at the new picture of Messica Quirk (top post on GOMI now)… when you stop working and become a “full time blogger” you lose your bearing on reality and start becoming obsessed with stupid shit like your first gray hairs and some incremental weight gain. Not working can be far harder on your self esteem than not working… you get less criticism (usually) but have less opportunities for outside feedback and reality checking.

    • I am a feminist.

      I think if people of any gender want to be spouses who don’t have paid work, and their spouse is on board with the idea, more power to them.

      What I hate with people like Brit is how she’s trying to have it both ways. She’s a stay-at-home spouse, but she’s also trying to leverage it as a media empire. (Martha Stewart, on the other hand, had a full-time job in the financial industry when she was first getting started as a lifestyle maven.)

      The thing where she Tweeted that she was changing her surname on various social media thing and described it with the hashtag #wifebranding was shower vom.

      Either own your choice to focus on being a spouse, or own your choice of choosing to do both. Don’t try to make your choice into a fucking industry.

      • Interesting. But, yeah, what “industry” is it in the end? It’s like a bubble that will, along with the economy, all fall apart. There’s no substance to anything these spray-paint bloggers do! It’s a house of cards, I think. Poof!

      • Yeah, i agree with all of this. I am a feminist and the ambitious partner in my relaysh. It’s all good, so to speak. Whatever works is the way to go. Just be real about it!

        Martha Stewart, love her or hate her, is a fucking bad ass. Of Polish descent, she did truly “#wifebrand” when she changed her name. (Not saying i agree with this, just saying it probably was a business move on some level. Martha is a stone cold player.)

        Brit Bohnet Morin is fucking bullshit. Her projects suck.

        What she has on Jordan is money and better website design.

        Who the fuck burns fucking apple skins on store bought cinnamon rolls and apples?

        To quote Julie, WHO DOES THIS!?

        So much fail. Be rich, stay at home, but don’t fucking punk me, or worse, punk yourself, with these idiot projects.

        • the fucking burned apple skins!
          btw, all this discussion above and below is (one reason) why i love RBD.

      • Oh and I’m a radical feminist and proud. I have cried with rage during drunken dinner conversations, lost “friends”, and made new ones. It’s lonely sometimes!

    • No blog suggestions, but Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook is my favorite smart and successful lady — check out her TED talk.

      The post linked below was being passed around yesterday. It rehashes a few good points on why a lot of late-20s women leave the work force. Brit’s job at Google was pretty dead-end and she’s a total let’s-have-100s-of-babies + lifestyle “business” type of woman…. unfortunately she picked a talent she doesn’t really have any talent at. She’ll move on when it gets (even more) embarrassingly lame.

      http://www.women2.org/solve-the-%E2%80%9Cwoman-problem%E2%80%9D-by-ending-your-stereotypes-of-women/

    • I think these girls THINK they’re creating fulfilling jobs for themselves. They think they can really accomplish something with their various lifestyle blogs. They think that if they do something they “love” it will become easy money.

      The thing is, you need talent. And often an educational background (cooking classes, writing classes, etc.). All the hard work and good intentions in the world aren’t going to make Jordan or Brit respectable experts who are good at cooking.

      And like all untalented hacks (cough cough Julia Allison), once they try to up their game it will start to feel a LOT like work and they’ll taper off.

      And lastly, only Martha Stewart is Martha Stewart. Hmph.

      • As with everything, there needs to be balance. We shouldn’t devalue people who choose to stay at home, whether male or female, as long as they’re raising kids or independently wealthy or some othe reason. But what’s really annoying beyond tolerability, as others have said, is when people who clearly have no creativity or talent decide to become “lifestyle” bloggers and start phoning it in. Brit isn’t even close to the worst (see, for example, KERF or ThatWife) but it’s annoying bc she formerly had a position of some visibility and responsibility at a major tech company (GOOG). Maybe she never would’ve been Sherryl Sandberg (smart AND sexy, btw) but maybe she could’ve mentored/hired/promoted/inspired some other women. Used her position for good.

        Also also, if anyone has read “Under the Banner of Heaven”, you can see why it’s important that society sends positive messages to the young girls out there–get an education, don’t let people hold you down, you don’t “need” a man or kids before you’re ready.

        My ladycat have tried explaining to her older cousins (mid/late 30s) that she doesn’t work because she *has* to, but because she enjoys it. They *literally* can’t believe it, even though they hate being stay at home moms themselves and also have a very minimal relationship with their husbands bc they have nothing to talk about. I’ve even chimed in that I dig educated & empowered women and I think most younger guys prefer some common ground these days. I think SAHM’s are awesome if it’s their choice… but I probably couldn’t relate to a woman who placed high priority on dropping out of the workforce and staying at home.

        /rant

        • I probably couldn’t relate to a woman who placed high priority on dropping out of the workforce and staying at home

          See, this I don’t get. Just because it doesn’t work for you, why does it lower a person’s ‘value’, in your estimation? I know SAHMs who are excellent moms & all the better for their kids, IMHO, but that isn’t even the point — is your world view really so tunnel-visioned that you can’t relate to people whose agendas don’t align w/ yours?

          Besides, one less person who doesn’t need the income not taking the job that a needy person could utilize is a good thing, right?

          To each their own is a pretty good policy, methinks.

          • because, and while I respect everyone’s right to choose, i respect some people more than other people, when a woman stays home with the kids all she ends up talking about is the kids and bitching about her day at the gym and with the kids. It just lowers the level of discourse in my opinion. Most people want to talk to people who can talk about the world at large rather than OMG GYMBOREE SALE.

            Yes, i’m stereotyping. SAHMs are perfectly lovely individuals I am sure.

          • I tend to have admiration for people being good at whatever it is that they choose to do, rather than being judgmental about their choices, if that makes better sense than what I said before.

            I was interpreting Afghani’s comment to be along the lines of people only being relatable if & when they fit into preconceived pidgeon holes, like ‘Eww! You drive a seven-year-old car? Not me! I just can’t relate!’ I mean, so the fuck what? We should make our choices based on what other people may think? LOL, who does that?

            Personally, I relate best to people who are not so judgmental.

          • My husband is a SAHD who works and is also going to school. Now if he were to say, “OK I am going to stop working and drop out of school because I think you should be able to support me and maybe I’ll also start a hobby blog” I would give him the Cindy McCain shank eye.

            So I am just imagining being a guy who marries a smart successful woman with interests and talents and having her say, “Oh by the way I’m going to spend the next 10 years crafting with pre-made chives.” I would shit bricks.

          • Who said it lowered anyone’s value? I said I wouldn’t be that interested because I doubt there would be much common ground. I also just like some ambition and inquisitiveness in a partner. I have plenty of friends who are laid back and Type B, but I don’t want to date/marry them.

            The larger problem for society is more along the lines of girls feeling that they need to prioritize “having a man” or having kids and that, if you don’t do so by a certain age, they’ll be looked at an “expired” old lady or somesuch. Bad message. And these twee bloggers are the tip of the iceberg along those lines of thinking.

          • I said I wouldn’t be that interested because I doubt there would be much common ground.

            Yeah, that’s what I got out of it, that people unlike you are uninteresting to you ::shrug:: & that’s certainly your prerogative, by all means, but it sounds pretty snobby, to moi.

            In my experience, I find relationships w/ people completely unlike me to be very interesting, because they bring something new to the table, & I learn different perspectives in the bargain.

          • And to answer your question, I think YOU said it when you typed: “We shouldn’t devalue people who choose to stay at home, whether male or female, as long as _____” — as long as they are doing what YOU approve of? THAT is how it comes across, which is what irks (me).

          • Is it weird that I think both parents can work and be really good parents? And that there are lots of options? Of course it requires some sacrifice and planning. I don’t think parenting is any more a “female job” than a male job. Additionally, kids are better off with a fulfilled, happy mom than with a mom who really doesn’t prefer to be a SAHM, but does it because it fits societal expectations?

    • Agree with all this. It’s almost like…they are all dumb, they have no historical frame of reference, and they noticed that many (most?) women of any means/influence don’t really place value on marriage/kids above all else, so they think they are renegades for doing so.

      Also, they are lazy. Full stop. Lazy and boring.

      • That whole thing about thinking they are renogades for placing high values on marriage/kids reminds me of the premise of Ariel Levy’s Female Chauvinist Pigs. Not the whole show-us-your-tits spring break sadness, but yeah, these women are completely espousing the traditional men’s view: a wife in the kitchen is how it should be. Your “renogade” idea is just that — they think they’re empowered and they’re not. Nice.

        • Ooh ooh I really wanna read that! I love some of her stuff for the New Yorker. Yes, I almost feel like it’s some odd embrace of values/ideals that were abandoned by most women for good reason. We don’t WANT to be defined by our relationships with men, we want more for ourselves though we can still want marriage and children…our foremothers fought for the right to personal autonomy and access to careers etc. Maybe now we take all that for granted. These gals don’t remember (or seem to care about) any of that, and it’s this weird reversion back to “I’m such a happy housewife, look at my BABBEHS!” I wanna see where half these women are when the kids are grown, the husband starts screwing the secretary, and they are 45, 50 years old with no real careers and no means to support themselves.

          Marriage is a lofty goal for many. But this almost fetishishtic obsession many of these bloggers display with regard to their husbands and kids just strikes me as sad and antiquated.

          • And I just…don’t understand how they think they are all special. I know many of you like her, but Jordo’s singular obsession with documenting her OMG 6 WEEK ENGAGEMENT! And marriage and domestic life…bitch please. I would have been much more impressed had you actually USED the Harvard education you were so lucky to have gotten and advanced in some career. Pretty much everyone gets married and has kids. It’s not fucking special to anyone but YOU. But shattering the glass ceiling in industries dominated by men…really MAKING IT in a world still so grievously unbalanced and sexist, that is the shit that impresses me. The woman who makes law firm partner and becomes a rainmaker with or without kids, that’s impressive. Birthing out a kid, being good at baking cupcakes…I mean good for you, but it’s not gonna make me admire you really, and it’s not doing anything for womankind.

    • I feel exactly the same way. Whither feminism?

      I kick ass at my career but I don’t blog about it bc of confidentiality issues and also I am not a self absorbed asshole.

    • Okay, I read this a REALLY Long while ago…but I believe it deals with successful, super well educated women “opting out” of careers to raise kids, and the effects not just on them, but women at large who actually stay in the game. That’s the thing that bothers me. Sure Jordan, stay at home and bake cookies for a living, but if more and more Harvard educated women do that…where the fuck does it leave us women who are actually trying to advance career wise? Make individual choices all you want, and yes we should value stay at home moms, but, to me it’s sad that these women aren’t going as far as they can in the working world because it really does affect the attitudes towards women who work (making it less likely we will ever get up there due to suspicions that all women will have kids and devote less time to work, contributing to a lack of women mentors in positions of power, etc etc). It’s obviously not just women’s fault that there are so many barriers to advancement. However, more of us need to make it there and fight tooth and nail to demand parity in the working world! I am shutting up now.

      http://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/26/magazine/26WOMEN.html?pagewanted=all

      • Can I just say, that fairly recently I got asked at a job interview, by a gay man, if I was intending to have children. My tongue was bleeding from how hard I had to bite it. This shit will never change until women stop doing the majority of child rearing.

      • It’s the larger issue of work not acommodating parenthood

        Forget about the idiot lifestyle bloggers, they’re trivial and they will go away before too long

        It’s still very difficult to have any kind of responsibilities at work and be a parent

          • because we devalue people who take care of kids…teachers, day care providers, parents…

            it’s a vicious circle and the paranoid part of me thinks that the people in power WANT to have a stupid mindless populace to govern.

          • You’re right in saying that — there isn’t enough value demanded of people in caregiver positions, & on that note (this will drive JFA up the wall), I am grateful to have been fortunate enough that my mom was mostly a SAHM, but had she had a college education to boot, I would have benefited even more, I am sure.

            I have yet to make the point I’m trying to make, but I don’t really get the mindset that all women have an obligation to be career-oriented for the sake of other women trying to break walls down — I think that furthering one’s education is good no matter what it is that you ultimately aspire to.

          • I definitely don’t think every woman or any one woman obvs has any obligation to ANYONE besides herself and her family. That being said, I think I have the right as a woman to lament other women dropping out of the working world. In the long run, I don’t think that is good for working women, sorry. For myriad reasons. Also, I’m the kinda woman who both has to work, and wants to always work. I know I won’t ever have a choice otherwise. I don’t plan on ever depending on a man fully even if I were lucky enough to bag someone who made a lot, which is not going to happen. The women in my family work because they have to, because they either contribute equally to or more than their husbands financially. It’s not a choice for many working class, poorer women or even many middle class women.

            And I grew up with a SAHM. I know I benefitted. I also know my mother got screwed because she didn’t have a career or education and got divorced later in life with no means to support herself. Marriages end. You gotta plan for that. While I don’t devalue mothering, I think I have a right to proclaim that it would be smarter for most women to be able to support themselves always. And that involves working.

          • Trust me…if I could find a man to support me while I stayed home and did the writing I so desperately want to do as a career, I would probably at least temporarily be in fucking heaven. I would love to be a full time blogger. But I don’t have that luxury a) and I don’t think it’s a practical/smart choice as a child of divorce, b). Anyway.

        • Exactly

          I stayed home til mine was 2; I am self employed, leveraging my previous pre-mom employment.

          When she went to preschool, I was fortunate to find a good one that I could afford that had space . Good preschools are costly, if you can find a slot.

          Once they get into big school, so many things happen at school during 9-5 that parents are asked to participate in.

          I am fortunate to be an involved mom and be a professional, both on my own terms

          I have no idea how people with regular jobs swing it

      • It’s really hard. It’s so much harder having kids than you imagined. I run a small business from home, and I can’t imagine being a great full-time employee and a great mother. I just would not be able to do it. I am grateful that I have the flexibility and can make my own hours.

  31. Re: the feminist (woo hoo!) conversation up above. I’ll give you an example: on that Nit-Wit-Brit site, she has that completely ridiculous (in my opinion) apple peeler machine thing in a photograph and is all “Yeah, I know, cool. You can get one here!” I mean, look, I am not the best with my money and I also believe that in this day and age, what we spend our money on (AND what we do not spend our money on) is an ethical question (that is, in light of all the suffering around us, no matter where we are — Scandinavia to Chicago). It’s just such a great example of the excesses…the nuttiness! Who made an apple peeler?! My Greek grandfather would take out his knife and say, “I’ll peel that fuckin thing”. They all have this unbelievable product to subtly mention, to spotlight, to “obsess” over. Week after week. It’s getting to be too much and all the same. OK. I’m gonna smoke a cig and go to bed. Peace! xoxo

    • Heh. Someone gave me a Pampered Chef apple peeler & that mofo has been loads of fun for me, not to mention a savior of my fingers (I totally suck when it comes to peelers & graters & pretty much demand that anyone in the near vicinity do it for me) — kids get really interested in operating it, which is helpful when making apple pies & incidentally getting them interested in things kitchen-related.

      But yeah, I get ya, cuz it’s a frivolous thing I’d probably never have indulged in at my own expense, tightwad that I am.

    • Apple peelers are old thrifty New England thangs. I have my grandmother’s and use it on the rare occasions I make an apple pie. (My grandmother made an apple pie twice a week, so she got plenty of use out of hers!)

      Also, they cost $15-$20 new, so it’s not like some kind of giant splurge.

      • I’ve had mine since back in the day when I couldn’t even afford to pay attention, i.e. post-divorce, & my baby niece gifted me w/ it in exchange for teaching her my mom’s apple pie technique (which IMO is no great shakes, but you couldn’t convince her otherwise).

        *I love the rare occasions that my nieces beg me for recipes.

  34. OK I just watched Brit’s christmas cheese video. That CANNOT taste good. Whole peppercorns? With chives and honey? On cheese? And no recommendation on which type of cheese? And wasting a whole bell pepper to make a tiny bell pepper with honey all over it?

    Honey.

    • I just watched it. I love the: “Just take honey you have lying around your house” instruction. Honey, just lying around the house.

      Pre-made chives? Does she mean DRIED?

      And what kind of cheese, for fuck’s sake? Cheddar? Brie?? “Triangular” isn’t a cheese variety, dearheart.

      Who would eat that? Seriously.

      • I love how she’s like, “just pop the cheese right out of the package, LIKE THIS.”

        Whoever above said it best – you would be laughed out of the room at any even remotely sophisticated 20-something holiday party with this thing. If you must bring something and can’t cook, get the chocolate covered Joe-Joes and call it a day. Done. You are the most popular person at the party.

    • Whole peppercorns are really good on the teeth, I hear.

      Pretty much any cheese rolled in crushed black pepper is good though.

  35. Interesting comments above. Whether at home or work, for a man or a woman, one can find fulfillment in their own life choice. C’est la vie.

  37. I am on my phone, which mean posts are non-threaded. That being said…

    I use my non-iphone phone most of the time because my fucking cat crawls all over my laptop crying for attention. Sad, losery, cat ladyness? Maybe. However, at least my animals like me, and it is not a byproduct of my desperate iClone identity.

    @’Guessing it’s Biology” – I fucking love Female Chauvanist Pigs, and reference it relentlessly. Ineffably, adverbially relentlessly.

    As for lifestyle bloggers. A sociopath in my life who does fuck all but sit around watching her kids and hating others, while lamenting her inability to have a ‘real life’ became one not too long ago. It comes across as a surrogate for an actual existence. I wonder what kind of identity she will have when the kids get to be of a certain age?

    Damn. Typing that much on a phone is a bitch.

    • Helpful hint: if you scroll to the bottom of RBD and turn mobile browsing off the site reverts to it’s regular web interface and the comments become threaded, so you can follow along!

      🙂

  39. How come Mary just went on a run with Lily dog? Have Julia and Mary repaired their relationship? Does Mary want on BRAVO? This would make me lose all respect for Mary…

  40. Yoooooooour (somewhat) daily DonkTweet round-up has arrived! Too much fuckery to parse right now.

    @AriMelber – Yo! Get your rapping law-pundit ass out to LA & visit your bro, Alexis & me or FAIL. And bring @McCainBlogette!! (& Drew!)
    2 hours ago

    @Cocina_Marie @benleventhal – See, I just went on a (first) date last Saturday & neglected to google him. Until last night. OMFG.
    2 hours ago

    Oh, @RachelSklar, I miss being a white chick & making ironic non-ironic ironic gang signs with you, biotch. Memmmories. blog.juliaallison.com/2007/04/white_…
    2 hours ago

    I love a good 6:30 am PST smiley catch-up call from @Meghan! Starting out the day RIGHT with my New York sunshine. 🙂
    2 hours ago

    The real question is: at what point during courtship does a lady admit she has, in fact, googled a gentleman? (@BenLeventhal, take it away)
    4 hours ago

    Dancing OLD SCHOOL to … “It’s not a put down, I put my foot down! / So how we gonna kick it?!? Gonna kick it root down!!”
    10 hours ago

    My roommie @JuliaPriceMusic just made me late night gluten free pancakes!! 🙂
    10 hours ago

    @MaxJCrowley – UBERFAIRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    12 hours ago

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