You Have To Be A Real Desperate Tool To Publish This Comment

AlfredoGlennCoronel: Hi Julia, Ive been reading your story on Wired Magazine and Want to be Almost as famous as you!!!!!l     lol!

Seriously, Donkey? Are you THAT desperate for validation that of the many comments you either choose not to publish, or none at all, you publish that one?

The same tool tweeted this to her the other day:

@JuliaAllison Julia I Loved your article in Wired Mag.. I am aiming to be almost as famous as You!!!! Im almost there!!!! See my Photos!!

It seems to be some old Ecuadoran dude with a chauffeuring service in L.A. who takes photos on the side, including “erotic” shots. Sounds klassy. She’s not random, bunnies and Bravo! Perverts think she’s famous!

271 COMMENTS

  1. LOL! Erotic shots. How long before JABA asks him to do a photo shoot of her for her next FB profile pic?

  2. This kind of desperation is exactly the kind of stench that reality show producers can smell from a mile away. It’s sad that she doesn’t see that. She thinks she’s going to look oh so fabulous. We will be seeing a lot of more of this kind of drivel.

  3. Heh, a guy that makes the 2009 birthday-farce fauxtographer look classy by comparison (What was his name? Wm Mark something, wasn’t it? I miss the raw craziness of the old days!!!). Who knew that was possible.

        • The good old days, with Julie stiffing Michael McD and forcing him to panhandle his way out of NYC. It brings a tear to my eye.

          • That was Julia being especially cruel… I felt terribly for the guy. The unlikely Bravo show’s producers would be wise to capture the kind of pathos Julia inflicts on trusting, unwitting folks – this would be a hell of a lot more interesting than watching her unfold alone, furiously twitter stalking, in her shabby chic Marina Del Ray ” beach house.”. Wonder if Monika and Lasagna signed releases?

          • I thought so, too, at the time. Having been up close and personal with our donkey, I could see her egging this poor fool on and then stiffing him at the last moment when she couldn’t find some sucker to pay him off.

        • It is so hard to know where to begin with this photo.

          The creepy photographer?
          The legs that don’t match the upper body?
          The mammoth gaping maw?
          Her bad fucking outfit?

        • He lived in a building lobby, subsisting on sour skittles, until he could get a plane back to California. He used the last of his funds paying for Julia’s guests’ karaoke bill ! Oh, that was so sad.

          • He got stuck with it. Everyone left and he was stuck with the bill. He paid it, had no money, was Tweeting helplessly for assistance and how all he could afford to eat was Skittles, and she pretty much blew him off. Still not sure how he finally got home.

          • oh shiiiiiiiiiiiit. i’ve never heard this part of the story… from having attended karaoke parties in NYC, i do not doubt that that was one expensive tab. people are usually all in one room, ordering to one tab, and then when some people leave without paying there’s almost a snowball effect (but it’s not like it’s rocket science to be accountable for your drinks –i’ve seen it work out fine with my normal adult friends). at $10+ a drink x All of Julia Allison’s fake friends… yowza. that dude got played.

            JULIA. ALLISON. IS. A. FUCKING. CUNT.

          • CDB: I actually think there was a faux twitter in his likeness and a pretend (or meme) fund in the comments during that time. He garnered a lot of sympathy.

          • Oh, he also said that Julia suckered him into coming to his party and taking photographs. He met her at the SF part of her birthday and she begged him to come to the NY half.

          • She allegedly lost her iphone and it was a “birthday miracle” when she got an email from the person who found it. Then her email allegedly stopped worked immediately after that. She was probably just ducking one Wm. Marc Salsberry.

            Let’s not forget that she also conned that poor bastard into doing her Birthday LOVE photoshoot, which produced my all-time favorite leaping shot of Julia. She was wearing that heinous outfit she wore to the Barbie fashion show and holding a balloon bouquet (and/or a red umbrella). She looked like an absolute loon.

            If I could find it, I’d post it, but it seems to have disappeared from her archive on NS. There is still an entry where she previews her stupid outfit for the big shoot, though. (Feb 2009)

            She’s never looked more mentally challenged than in those photos. (Cue posting of re-re pics.)

          • The lost iPhone! I forgot about that! Didn’t it just show up mysteriously at the front desk of her building? I never believed she lost the stupid thing and was lying for some reason. I gotta go back and read that whole episode. That was the best birthcray EVER. Freaking out when she saw her name wasn’t on the cake, then posting a photo of the cake so you couldn’t see her name wasn’t on it, licking the cake, being rude to Mary, stiffing Bob and then the photog. So much goodness.

          • Randi Facebook actually looks almost cute in those photos. She reminds me of Clea Lewis there (the woman with the super-high-pitched voice from “Andy Barker” and “Ellen”).

          • Wow. I just reread those links, and it’s amazing how much has changed over the last few years. It’s not like she was at dizzying heights, but she has fallen a long way.

      • I really thought that was the Doobie singer of yore, being discussed.. there’s a resemblance, no?

  4. He sounds unhinged much like our Donkey. For someone so concerned with being “stalked” she is an idiot to encourage this guy.

  5. I’m starting to feel like this show isn’t going to happen. If it doesn’t I will be so, so depressed! Is there going to be enough interesting footage with her? Ughh, Julie, step up your game! WE NEED THIS SHOW TO HAPPEN! BRING IN THE HEAVY HITTERS! BEG THEM! There were some ‘people’ that actually knew you in 2008, go find them!

    I’m sure Bravo was under the impression that she had friends, a ‘peripathetic life’, and connections and a fan base… but, here we are! Literally, her fans. I know Julie thinks this show will solidify her as a pretty, pretty princess and her haters can suck it. But the truth? This is Bravo, 16 year old girls won’t be watching this show thinking to themselves ‘Oh, this girl is such a sweetheart!’ ‘She’s just trying to live her life differently!’ Vom, btw. Bravo’s audience is 25-45 year old in-the-know types (ie Bitchy Queens and housewives. Yes, housewives. These housewives will look at JA and see right through her, none will be fans). Please Bravo, we know you read this cite/sight: LET THIS SHOW AIR! I promise, WE WILL WATCH! (side note: JA’s appearance with the other two pathetic Miss Despised’s on Hoda and Kathie Lee made my week! I laughed, and laughed, and laughed. And winced, the. whole. damn. time. As Julie would say, BRING IT!!!)

    • And comments on Eggers FB and such? Her motives on this show will be so blatantly obvious. It’s like she really has ZERO self awareness. Or is that what Bravo was banking on? Um… err…oooops.

    • Ah, I don’t want this shit to air. As much as I’ll regret not seeing her make an ass of herself, the lazy, grifting, insane (did I leave anything out?) Julie Albertson doesn’t deserve to have her life long dream realized, however tawdry that dream may be and however quick that show is sure to be canceled. Let this fail be epic w/o foisting the donkey on an unsuspecting public.

        • Dearest Dear Heart, Yes! I am a primo “A” type hater who’s so grossly lazy and overweight that I couldn’t possibly find the remote among the Little Debbie wrappers and Cheetos bags lining my basement. And that’s the REAL reason I don’t want this Bravo show to air–I’d never be able to tune in!

      • On the second and last episode of MISS ADVISED, Julia Allison confronts her “haters” JP and Jacy, insisting that they would like her only if they met her. They really, really would!

      • She did extend a coffee invite for the original reblogger that “crushed her soul” a few years back.. I’m surprised she hasn’t sent over a release and invite for coffee to make at least 1 semi-interesting episode. 🙂

      • That would be primo reality tv right there. And I should know, I’ve seen every season of America’s Next Top Model.

        [img]http://i40.tinypic.com/242v2tf.gif[/img]

  6. This reality show is starting to be a bummer because she obviously can’t “share” what she’s doing with her audience, lest this interfere with the grand revealing of the TV show. So, instead of all the retardo tweets and photos from, for instance, that surprise party she ruined, we get nothing because that’s Bravo’s property or whatever. Same thing is going to happen with the Holibrays, normally the best Donkey time of the year. Is she going home for Thanksgiving? Sigh…

  7. i’ll be in wilmette over thanksgiving and christmas if anyone needs some north shore donkreporting.

      • i’ll be sure to create an occupy wilmette at pancake-land aka walker bros in order to ensure a run-in. i also conveniently live on the Westside of LA. I’m afraid the odds of running into her on a regular basis just increased ten-fold.

  8. So scary if you zoom into her right eye on that gaping maw pic. Her eyes never match whatever face she’s pulling. It’s all so phony. I always get sad when I look at her eyes. No happiness there whatsoever.

    • So ….. cozy? The only room in which it works is the kitchen, if you ask me. Also, any dude living there is so totally not gay.

    • I’m think all that black & white is sending me into a seizure. How on earth is that a place you can come home to after a long day to relax?

    • I dig the skull liquor bottles, but I could not live in a place with black and white polka dots on the walls, ugh. The place just doesn’t look comfortable to me..

      • God that’s awful. The bedroom looks so uncomfortable and that shower curtain made me instantly anxious. Also…FiDi? Would not have picked that as their neighborhood. Especially in a rental. I hated living there. Bunch of obnoxious 20 somethings living in partitioned apts with thin walls.

        • The shower curtain is dreadful. I find that themes are the indicators of the truly uninspired when it comes to design. This place says everything you need to know about those two and their “creativity”.

          • Yes, I can’t stand themes. Homes should be a reflection of your personality. Decor should be disparate things that somehow gel together — different colors, patterns and textures. Their decor screams: “It’s 1992, and we’re a couple of assholes.”

          • The sodomite (I miss Preacher Jim!) speaks the truth. Their home decor, the walls specifically, remind me of MC Hammer’s pants circa 1990.

        • This! The only people I’ve ever known to live in the financial district are early-20’s just out of college types. I was shocked that this girl who lived on an entry level PR salary lived in a swank building there, until I realized that she split a one-bedroom with four different girls. They separated their space by hanging sheets. Just shoot me.

          Katrina and Brandt’s apartment looks like Livia’s stepmother’s house from “Beetlejuice.”

    • Nautical theme?

      After seeing how Sheesh looked in that first picture with all that black and white, it looked more like a homage to the original Night of the Living Dead.

    • Why am I thinking this would be perfect:

      [img]http://www.minnetonka.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/bart-robert-longo-pareja.jpg[/img]

    • To each their own, but the black and white theme is way too much for me. I prefer a more casual, less planned out and designed look.

    • Ugh. That apartment screams TRYING TOO HARD. Their couch is one of those fucking plastic wicker all weather couches meant for patios and decks. Who’d want to sit on that to watch TV or read??

    • Patrick Bateman approves of this apartment.

      [img]http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/apkillpaul5qz.gif[/img]

  9. That picture is so goddamn fascinating.

    She is so very strangely asexual. There is nothing sexy about this woman whatsoever. She has no idea what sexiness is, but she is giving her best impression of what she thinks is sexy from all of the fashion magazines she has seen.

    And yet, completely and utterly sexless.

    • Good call. Donkey is the poster donkey for females who have next to no interest in sex despite shoving their sexuality in everyone’s faces. I find the phenomenon interesting.

    • “She has no idea what sexiness is, but she is giving her best impression of what she thinks is sexy from all of the fashion magazines she has seen.”

      That is so sadly true. There are a zillion pictures of her trying to imitate sexy, sophisticated model face, and it has always come off looking more comical than anything else.

    • Her bargain-basement photographer was all, “Yes, darling! Now give me BEWITCHING ENCHANTRESS. Faster! Oh yes, give it to me! No..no, not that darling… all right, everyone take five, sigh”.

        • I have noticed before that a neutral-colored lip is not her friend. Maybe because you can see the contours of her actual mouth when she doesn’t have her usual screaming red clown kisser painted on?

          • It makes her mouth look even more Muppety than usual. She must be so happy that the Muppet movie is coming out soon!

          • I had to scroll back up and look and you’re right, she does! Her upper lip always looks pinched- as though she is trying to contain that deep, deep anger/psychosis.

          • oh handbag of infinite wisdom* you speak the truth. her lips are the window to her inner rage beast.

            *by wisdom i mean hair, obvs.

  10. OT but can I confess to you catladies that I’m having a bit of a life crisis? I turn 33 soon and am thinking it’s probably time to, like, stop buying cheap makeup at drugstores and cheap clothes at Marshalls and maybe start looking like an adult finally?? How does one build an afforable, sensible yet still chic wardrobe? If I have to start shopping at Ann Taylor though I might just kill myself? Where do I even start with makeup? HALP!!!!

    • Are you sure it’s not time to go pretty pink kinderwhore? Pelts+eyepelts+skimpy frocks+red dye+…= men will buy you all the clothes you want anyway!

    • It’s really easy. You need to splurge on really good basics: a pair of black pants (straight leg), a good pair of jeans, a white oxford shirt, a black blazer, neutral tanks/tees (silk is really good way to dress it up) all in a variety of complimentary pallets (brown/navy/black/grey/etc – whatever you like) For example most of my stuff is black/grey/navy and then i accessories with things like jewellery, belts, scarves, shoes, bags etc which you can get without breaking the bank and use to incorporate seasonal trends.

      Let me know if that helps!

      For makeup, i really really like bare minerals. I have sensitive skin and their whole line is just heaven.

    • Can’t help with makeup but I got a ‘real job’ this year and realized that Banana Republic is seriously your friend. The prices are often high but if you if sign up for their mailing lists they send tons of coupons. Hold out for 40% off and you can slowly build a professional biznis laydee collection at a fairly reasonable price.

      Get your basics at BR, keep shopping Marshalls for trendy items that you don’t mind disposing of when they start showing wear.

      Or talk to professional biznis laydee Julia Allison, she might be able to get you the hookup at Aqua by Bloomingdales. Don’t forget your red tights!!!

    • Fancy thrift stores rule. So many shopaholics donate completely unused high-ticket stuff. Look for stores that support causes dear to the heart of trophy wives, like AIDS and breast cancer and the Episcopal Church.

      Also, Tim Gunn wrote a book a while back that was very smart, all about how to build a wardrobe with classic pieces and balance them with a few fun trendy things.

      My theory is to buy a really good overcoat and raincoat, good shoes and bag, splurge on jeans, and then fill in the rest with stuff from thrifts and random trendy shit from places like H&M and Zara, since that shit will be over long before it wears out, so crappy construction won’t matter.

      Also, if you need a suit for interviews, a Chanel style suit is the move, because although it is never really fashionable, it is never really unfashionable. I have had the same two suits for 15 years and they always get compliments from strangers no matter what the fashions are.

      • Kate Middleton loves Zara. I do too, especially for dresses. They’re inexpensive because the fabrics aren’t top quality (e.g. you’re going to see polyester instead of wool) but more pulled together and fashionable (as opposed to trendy, if that makes any sense) than the tackiness and poor quality I have seen at H&M.

        • Agree! I have actually gotten some fairly decent knitwear at Zara. H&M for me is more “Oh, I want a tank top with sequins on it and I am only going to wear it three times before I get bored with it, so why not this random made in East Timor out of reconstituted graphite for $7.99 job?”

        • Some of the best, cutest, nicest quality coats I’ve worn for YEARS were Zara. But it was when I used to go to Spain a lot and everything was like 1/3 of the price. The Zaras here are so weird…too expensive and never have size Small in anything…yes I am just bragging about being a SMALL. HAI. The Zaras in NYC are just weird I’m telling you. Fucked up sizes and things are either super cheap or crazy expensive. There is one in midtown east that has a basement full of sale stuff but I forget the address. 🙁

    • I am the biggest crazy person for outlets. You have to be very picky – a whole day of shopping might yield little – but I’ve made some completely insane finds. The best are the Neimans/Saks/ Nordstrom outlets because they have a big selection. I cringe if I have to pay retail for something. Flash sale sites like Gilt are great too but you have to be OK losing your return shipping costs if it doesn’t fit.

    • Start reading this blog religiously. Go back and read the archives. She has seriously helped me because I too am going through a bit of a transitional period in terms of my style and needed some advice on how to wear some basics. Plus, she’s a RBD reader!! Love her!!

      http://www.caphillstyle.com/

      • She is One Of Us? That’s lovely. I think that’s one of the very few style blogs that is actually useful.

      • Oh, I adore Belle and Capitol Hill Style! I love her Polyvore sets, and she always has such practical suggestions for appropriate workwear. I also really appreciate that she gives honest reviews of products, and because she’s anonymous, she doesn’t shill and hasn’t made her blog http://www.ALL-ABOUT-ME.com like some bloggers. She also has great advice for navigating life on the Hill, which I am constantly passing along to my long-distance Hill staffer boycat.

        Extra Petite (http://www.extrapetite.com/) is also great for classic and simply chic work ensembles. She mixes high-end and basic pieces quite effortlessly, and her suggestions for splurges and savings are quite sensible. It’s obvious that she, like Belle, does the research for the items she buys and the posts she creates.

        @ Shamoo£ia: I suggest going to Bloomingdale’s during a sale and picking up some basic items from Theory. They can be expensive, but the quality of both their suiting and their separates is consistently high. It’s all very basic, too, so you can bring out the same items again and again while still looking polished. As far as makeup goes, I cannot express enough how lovely a little bit of Soleil Tan de Chanel powder bronzer looks on just about everyone. Chanel Inimitable mascara is also a great way to “finish” a look without looking like you’re saying HELLO I’M WEARING MASCARA.

    • SALES. SALES. Ann Taylor Loft in a pinch for dresses (on sale). Their quality is so so.

      J. Crew, when on sale, has fantastic, for me, pants, sweaters and basic tops. Banana’s quality has been iffy of late, but pants that are not wool are good there.

      Club Monaco is also great. I lust after their clothes, but just can’t afford them.
      I’d stay away from Zara, trendy, but not long lasting.

      There’s no need to give up Marshall’s completely. Just look for suits, which you can wear separately, there. If you are near Loehmann’s, that’s good too sometimes. I say, buy less, but just buy better stuff. If you have good taste, you should do well.

      • RE: Sales and discount stores…
        It might take a little bit of digging, but if you have a Syms or Filene’s near you, both are going out of business and doing final sales with up to 40% off their already moderately low prices. That might be an option for basics, accessories, and whatever else you can work into what you already have (or can anticipate using in the future) on the cheap.

      • +1 and I am 47.

        Also Western boots, because they are comfortable and I don’t care how pathetic it is for me to wear them in New England.

        • I have Chuck Taylors in about 20 colors for the summer, and vegan Doc Martin loafers for the winter. If it is a ‘dress up-ish’ type day I have some plaid slacks or grey corduroys and a white button down. If it is a REAL dress up occasion I have a black pencil skirt and blazer. If it is dressier than that, I don’t go.

          I just don’t see “mature wardrobe” in my future, though I confess to using gloMinerals foundation and mac shadows, when I can be bothered to wear make-up anymore.

          Seriously, my favorite part of getting older is that I just don’t feel the need to dress-up/show off/paint my face anymore.

          I am exactly the kind of chick JA is terrified of being. Which is good by me.

      • *sigh*, Mcakezy…some of us don’t have the luxury to wear jeans to work. I sigh on the elevators every time I see a woman dressed to the 9’s wearing perfectly tailored jeans with a cute top and accessories and looking professional. Unfortunately I can’t see such a look being part of my profession. Oh well.

        P.S. the Sims website is brillz – added it to Google Reader earlier this evening.

        • Meh, fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

          I do count myself lucky that I can wear jeans to work every day. I mean, technically some people think that isn’t “respectable” or something, and that we should dress to be role models for our students. I figure I did nine years of college/grad school/professional school/BTSA so I will wear what I damn please, thank you very much, and my students can aspire to THAT. Get a job that you love that lets you wear whatever you want. That is a good goal, right?

    • For makeup, I recommend ebay. Go to Sephora first and figure out which shades are the best for you, and which brands you gravitate toward. You can’t go wrong with Stila and Smashbox. Find a good primer, tinted moisturizer and light powder. Then a good fall palette of colors.

      There are some great ebay sellers who sell new-ish items that have never been tested. Sometimes they are brand new but without the box. They are usually one-third of the retail price.

      Here’s a great palette that includes shadow and liner –

      http://www.ebay.com/itm/Smashbox-Instant-Eyes-Shadow-Cream-Liner-Palette-42-/160684668186?pt=US_Makeup_Eyes&hash=item25698d751a#ht_1273wt_952

    • I’d stick with the cheap make-up. I made the mistake at some life stage of thinking that owning expensive make-up would make me all growed up. It didn’t. It just made me poored up.

      However, I still hate cheap clothes. Ebay is great for getting expensive clothes for peanuts.

      • There is some good cheaper makeup out there too. Neutrogena makes good foundations and powders (I use the Healthy Skin compact makeup, which I find very similiar to this Chanel foundation I used to use). I’ve tried all the primers, from Laura Mercier to Smashbox and while I never tried one I didn’t like, my favorite is the L’Oreal perfecting base, which is the cheapest I’ve ever tried! And it’s in a little jar rather than a tube or pump, which makes it much easier to get all of the product out so you’re not wasting any. Cover Girl lash blast mascara in the chubby purple tube is my favorite (I never use expensive mascara; there are too many good drugstore options) and Maybelliene Lash Stiletto liquid liner is great. My other favorite eye liner is the Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner. Also for less expensive brushes, the Sonia Kashuk line at Target is really good. For eye shadow, I do tend to use the department store brands, and I really like Bobbi Brown or MAC, if you want to go schmancy with that! Bobbi has great neutrals for work/every day, as well as good colors for going smokey, and MAC has a million colors.

        • Neutrogena has this tinted moisturiser Skin Enhancer thingy that I really, really like, just as much as the Laura Mercier tinted moisturiser. Helps that the tone I bought is the exact perfect match to my skin color, which is always a problem getting right for me.

        • I don’t think I’ve ever looked at anyone and thought “OMG they must be wearing really expensive make up”, it’s such a waste of money. Buy expensive lipgloss, lose expensive lipgloss, buy expensive lipgloss, lose expensive lipgloss, buy Touch Eclat, realize it doesn’t even work, then lose Touch Eclat, or break the pen. And I really hate the over-perfumed smells of expensive make-up. It’s a giant con industry anyway.

          I like Olay Touch of Foundation, v v light tinted moisturiser, and Kiehls tinted moisturiser for heavier coverage. Also, Boots No 7 from Target for foundation.

          • or, worst case scenario, you are mary rambin, you buy expensive lipgloss, you leave purse at goodwill, employees proceed to trash your lipgloss, you get the ragies.
            moral of the story: we can all be thankful we’re not mary rambin!

        • Just don’t buy the Nivea Tinted Moisturizer. It darkens about an hour after you apply it and you might look like you have a Jersey Shore tan.

    • And seriously, what is with this (I guess) “trend” of girlying up Silicon Valley. You have that Valley Girl show, and Brit’s craft crap. I understand that representation of women in Silicon Valley is woefully nonexistant, but this “Look at me!!!! I’m pretty and pink!!!!” is not the way to go to gain any respect.

        • But a spot on point never the less. Seriously though, no one here gives an honest flying fuck @ pretty pink tech princess bullcrap. At least no one worth more than an eyelash pelts lifespan.

    • Makeup – Get yo’ face did at Bobbi Brown or Laura Mercier. I put on my big girl pants, got rid of my old club kid drugstore makeup and invested in Bobbi products a few years back. It’ll set you back a bit, but I use the same products every day for work (tinted moisturizer, concealer, blush, etc.) and I replace each of them once every six months or so. For mascara, you can totally just go with drugstore mascara, since that gets replaced sooner. I have long, thin lashes and love thickening mascara, so I live and die by Revlon DoubleTwist in Blackest Black.

      • (I didn’t want to totally bogart the thread, but if you have additional questions about makeup, I’m happy to email! convenientfeminist at gmail)

      • I LOVE Bobbi Brown face products (can’t speak for anything else – haven’t tied). Her foundation for dry skin has completely changed my face. No more dry patches, plus even coverage that lasts all day.

        *flips hair, bats eyelashes at camera*

        But seriously, Bobbi Brown is the shit.

    • Thank you so much!! You guys are the best! Going to celebrate birthday in shiny cheap polyester turquoise dress, BRB!

    • You’ve already gotten a lot of great advice. Mine would be… Brooks Brothers and Banana Republic, done cleverly. I’m not sure anyone makes a better button up (or argyle sweater vest) than Brooks Brothers. Hit up the outlet and you can pick them up at a good discount. At Banana Republic, figure out your pants size/fit and invest in classic colors in various seasonal weights. I live in black and grey BR pants, with a brown or khaki thrown in when I’m feeling fiesty. Their sweaters are epicallyhit or miss. And always, always, always wait for a sale. Get on their email list and you will never pay more than 70% of ‘retail’ again. If you need suits, I’ve been impressed by the quality, style and price of Tahari at Macy’s. If available, always get both the skirt and the pants for a jacket.

      I never pay full price. It’s because I’m cheap and because I had the luxury of building my Important Career Woman Married to a Man Who Has a Powerful Mother wardrobe over a few years. But BR email sales, Macy’s coupons/sales and Brooks Brothers outlet work wonders.

      I have no idea what to do re: shoes. If anyone can be sericey and tell me where they get their non-hookin’ shoes, that would be super helpful.

      • I am a recent convert to Nine West for the office. Mad comfortable pumps, like 4 inch heels that you can actually walk in all day. And way cheaper than the high end stuff I was buying in the pursuit of shoes to wear all day and cure my recurring ballet-flats-in-the-purse syndrome.

    • hiya, i’ll try to tackle makeup, my area of semi-expertise. the basic premise is the same as building your wardrobe — the key is figuring out which products are a good investment and which you can buy at the drugstore. first, what type of a makeup user are you? ie: do you focus on a natural look, do you tend to wear more dramatic eye makeup, etc. Once you have an aesthetic to focus on, it’s easier to figure out where to spend your money. I recommend Sephora (online if you’re not near a shop) for your non drugstore needs.

      personally, i can recommend the following:

      Skin: currently i use kiehl’s herbal astringent as a base, and then laura mercier tinted moisturizer. i have combination oily/dry skin, and have found that less is definitely more in the foundation department. bare essentials (as someone else recommended) is also nice for more formal events, but i find i can’t use it in the winter as effectively because it’s a little too dry for my skin. for concealer, i find that either almay or loreal from the drugstore are fine for spot/undereye usage.

      Eyes: i usually do a heavier eye, skewing kind of sixties mod, so i’ve invested more in this area. for eyeshadow, stila and makeup forever are fabulous, both available at sephora. i use both a regular pencil eyeliner and often a liquid liner (sorry if this is conjuring “tranny” but i try to be classy about it). i’ve found that regular pencil eyeliner is pretty similar across the board, and usually buy mine from CVS (loreal or prestige brand). For liquid eyeliner, i’ve used the same chanel liquid pallette for almost five years! similar to this: http://www.chanel.com/en_US/fragrance-beauty/Makeup-Eyeliner-LA-LIGNE-DE-CHANEL-89237 If this is something you’re interested in using, i highly recommend spending the money.

      Brows: maybelline has a basic brow kit that is decent, but i recommend spending a little bit more — something with a brush instead of a pencil looks much better and is less likely to give you drawn-on-arches-of-doom.

      Lashes: some people swear by drugstore brands… i’ve never been convinced. loreal voluminous is the best i’ve used in that category (i think it’s $8). I’ve been obsessed with fiberwig mascara (available at sephora) for years, my lashes are really moisturized and this stuff does not run, you can even cry or swim. my friends think i have a genetic mutation that makes me immune to smeared eye makeup, but really it’s just this magic little red tube.

      Blush/Bronzer: benefit has a couple of really great products, chanel has a fab bronzer… but this is one area where pretty much every major makeup manufacturer is decent so you can shop around. i think it’s worth it to drop some cash on this one, just one all over bronzer and one neutral blush and you’re good to go.

      Brushes — invest in a basic brush set from sephora or similar beauty supply store because it’s helpful to have good tools. i use a basic eyeshadow brush, a slanted eyeshadow brush for the crease of your eye, an eyeliner brush (very small point!), and a blush/bronzer brush. i don’t wear powder, but i know that a bunch of people find using a brush gives you more even coverage. you might feel awkward at first but with practice you’ll be fine — think of it as painting on your face? maybe that just works for me 😛

      i hope that’s somewhat helpful. i started this off and didn’t realize it’d get so complicated! let me know if you want more specific advice or suggestions. happy to help a fellow expired catlady out. kitty kisses.

      • gah! i forgot to address colors — let me know if you want advice in that direction (what’s your skin type/eye color/hair color).

        i’m brunette, brown-eyed, fair-olive-skinned, and typically use mauve/gray/purple/bronze eyeshadows, navy or green eyeliner, black/brown mascara, and lightish pink blush. i am not huge into lipstick because i don’t want to look clownish what with all the other jazz going on. sorry if this is too “me focused” … it was easier to explain in terms of what i use.

        sincerely,
        an unspecial snowflake who loves to do people’s makeup at sleepovers

      • Thanks for the mascara recommendation! I am so tired of getting flaky little black dots under my eyes. And I would trust a cat lady hands down over other recommendations.

        • Personally, Lancome is the best mascara I’ve ever used. Unfortunately, makeup is one of those things that you have to find out works best for you. What has worked best for me is the phrase “this product is so well rated but my skin is just so finicky, is it possible I can try a sample?” I’ve gotten a ton of samples over the years to try out at home before purchasing the full size.

          Also, I think Sephora routinely has little sets full of mini samples of its best selling mascaras. Maybe worth an investment to try a bunch and see what you like best?

          • I have loved reading the makeup recs here! I just need to jump in and say that I have sort of sensitive eyes, and Dior and Lancome mascaras were both huge irritants.

    • There’s already a troll crying “bullying.”

      How is critiquing a goddamned business bullying? It’s not my fault you created your entire company around your self and your self just happens to SUCK AT LIFE.

      • LouWho really reads like The Idiot Also Known As Lasagna who used to come on here. But I am not sure she’s as invested in Brit as she is Donk.

        The suggestion you are basically going to burn in hell for expressing your dislike for someone’s blog — hilarious.

        • Also this LouTool makes comments like:

          “If you were as successful [as john stewart] you would have your own show and fan base, but you don’t…”

          Really? The only way to be successful according to these fame whores is to have a show and a fan base.

          I and many others here are at the top of our game in our respective fields. But I guess if we’re not famous it doesn’t count with these entitled twats.

          Anyhoo. Thanks for the LOLs Lou! It’s fun watching you try to hold your own here.

    • I know she hates the Donk and all. (Hey, Julia! Brit hates you!) But those crafts are the stupidest shit I have ever seen.

      • if she hates Julia Allison she has an odd way of showing it by liking her pictures and commenting on her fB wall

      • She’s pushing the sort of shit that you’d find at a craft fair in Sheboygan! That old plastic bottle with a fucking card inside? I’ve met homeless people who wouldn’t expect anyone to buy something so tacky. It is to laugh!

        • Did she think that bottled Christmas card shit up all by herself? The lucky recipient has to peel the label off an old plastic bottle, dig the rolled up photo and note out (they go in pretty easy – I bet they’re a bitch to get out again without tearing them to shreds or cutting up the bottle) and then clean up the plastic, annoying confetti and tiny pine cones that will fly out everywhere. How special.

  11. [img]http://i42.tinypic.com/2v28dgg.jpg[/img]

    She really is uncreative and needs to crowdsource so she doesn’t seem lame. I bet this is for her show and she wants to do something really cool! amazing! F U A-TYPE HATERS. I HAZ THE COOL! Also the nail art next to her post makes me giggle.

      • what is crazy about horseback riding? the only cray i can recall when julia did it is RIDING THE DAMN HORSE IN A BIKINI AND FILMING THE WHOLE THING.

    • Some lady from HowAboutWe.com tweeted at her for some “content”. So I assume this is her earning her consultant fees. So shameless, it’s almost inspiring.

    • She’s fishing for ideas for the reality show. I am going to guess that she goes with the skydiving because it’s the most visually entertaining, although her bray may blow my speakers. She doesn’t have enough nerve to go cage diving, and I don’t see her trying to recreate the [Redacted II] horseback riding memory. She only had two *crazy* ideas and needed to name a third.

      I also love that that not only do her posts get no comments, but even a generic question like this received no Tumblr “likes,” reblogs or response whatsoever. Some things never change!

  12. God, she just bought a white couch and is saying the nyc beat the “pollyana” out of her and she’s trying to get it back. It’s all positivity now, bitches!

    • Only in Julia’s mind does buying things in certain colors (neutral colors at that) reveal deep things about one’s state of mind.

    • That couch is so unfinished looking. It reminds of the white sample ones pictured in catalogs so you can see their lines pre-upholstery. And those pillows look like coverless inserts. But what else would you expect from A Donkey?

      • MANHATTAN. She actually said MANHATTAN beat her. Not New York. Manhattan. Not Brooklyn, Not Jersey. Not Queens. Manhattan. Who says that??!?!?!!?!

        Carrie 2.o, No. Not even close.

        • But what is she referring to??? The article is about being an entrepreneur…. is Julia trying that out again? LOL.

          • I did not really get how the author was being a Pollyanna, whose Glad Game was about finding the silver lining in a bad situation. Is she saying that the silver lining to 9/11 was the fact that it forced her to consider alternative marketing for her company? I hope not.

      • Ugh, terrible taste, and very cheap looking, but that is expected. Very Bobby Trendy pre feather and bedazzle appliqué. Also, it has a very low back and is not flush with walls/corner, so is going to be awfully uncomfortable to lean back on and the pillows will fall off over edge all the time. That thing – and the tacky white ottoman – is going to get filthy with her hooves and BP leakage.

        • I can’t believe it. That couch will be thrashed ASAP. And not just by the dog: dye from jeans will get on it, a split glass of anything will stain it, etc. The only way to get it out is to bleach the shit out of your cushion covers and that’s what causes them to break down and come apart. She’s dumb. If you really want to do a lot of entertaining, a white fabric couch is LOLs.

          • If you really want to do a lot of entertaining…

            Which is why hers will remain pristine forever and ever amen.

            That is until the first time she falls asleep watching wedding shows on TLC and wakes up to a perfect clown face make-up print on the arm and cushion.

    • I love how none of the people she mentions as “friends” ever respond to her twatters. It’s always randoms.

    • I wonder if she has been catching up on Bravo, because a major plot point in The Rachel Zoe Project was that Rachel exclusively likes white interiors.

      • Trust. Julia will be unloading/selling this free sofa within a year when the reality show doesn’t pan out and Bravo stops subsidizing her rent and it’s back to surfing on other peopl’s couches.

  13. There’s no more fulfilling occupation than arranging 700 pillows on a sofa, especially when those pillows comprise the actual back, against which everyone must lean whilst being entertained. I’m thinking Yaba the Yut may have found her life’s work.

  14. I was reading an article this morning where they were reprinting a letter that was pertinent to the topic at hand. In order to protect the names of one of the people referenced in the letter, they went with Mrs. [Redacted]. I laughed out loud. And then couldn’t stop laughing.

    Damn you RBD.

  15. To be clear, pertinent to the topic of the article, totally unrelated to anything on this site.

    Sorry for the lack of clarity. So fat, so stupid and so darn old.

  16. I hope she’s going home for Thanksgiving, although she skipped it last year and went to the Ashram instead. Bravo really needs to film her bitching about how she can’t eat anything but catfish.

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