Julia Allison Is Principled

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“Principles only mean something if you stick by them when they’re inconvenient.”

The older I get, the more I realize that trustworthy/honest people are more rare than I ever imagined. An incredibly depressing realization.

Oh, really now? Feminist and authentic when she wants to be, Julia Allison, of the WHY DO MEN STILL RAPE AND CHEAT ON WOMEN? Allisons, posted these dandy pieces of insight on Twitter. It’s like she’s asking for a patented JP tirade. Alas, I’m not going to give it to her, because my heart is not into it today, and it’s not like any of this new.

All I will say is that little Miss Women Are So Horribly Mistreated By Cheaters and Rapists, has defended not one, not two, but three horrible men who mistreat women. The latest one being Ashton Kutcher, who loves to cheat on Demi and minimizes the experience of young rape victims for the sake of college football.

Ashton, is delusion gluten-free?

289 COMMENTS

  1. What amazes me is that any college personnel would think that a description of molesting or fondling was not in fact enough to report as abuse per Federal laws. what college did this coach graduate from ?

    • Fondling???

      They caught him nailing (and by “nailing” I mean having anal intercourse with) a 10-year-old in the showers back in 2002. The guy who saw it reported it to Paterno face-to-face the next day and he did nothing meaningful to stop the abuse.

      This whole case is beyond disgusting.

        • I read the grand jury report today. I was sick to my stomach for hours. Literally. Almost threw up. I thought of my little brother who is 8 and what I would do if that were my kid. I am just amazed that so many people knew and did nothing.

          • I read the grand jury report too. Let me tell you, given my line of work, I’ve seen and heard stuff that would make one stay up for nights at a time but that report was among the more sickening things that I’ve come across. I hear you, JFA.

            There’s definitely a cultural of protection in many institutions but also people are afraid to get their hands dirty. People don’t want to complicate their own lives. I’ve seen this over and over again.

          • I am disgusted too. And I wonder how these people live with themselves. What’s weird to me is that ao much of the focus is on Paterno. Before anybody says anything….I agree that he did a horrible thing. But what about McQueary who actually walked in on that little boy being raped and left him there to continue to be raped? How can someone do that and look in the mirror after that? Or his dad who he immediately told. This wasn’t a questionable sort of ‘did I see what I think I did’? Kind of moments. He actually heard the rape before he saw it and he left that poor little boy behind. It devastates me to think about.

          • That McQueary guy — he should be charged. He SAW IT HAPPENING and walked away? What the fuck?? Big redheaded fucking demon.

          • I agree. Again this wasn’t some girl and her boyfriend arguing in the street and you walking by and wondering if you should get involved. And McQueary was a former quarterback so it’s not like he had to fear for his physical safety if he’d intervened. Yet I keep hearing what a solid guy he is and how distressed he was and “at least he reported it right away”. WTF!!! And he’s going to be coaching this weekend.

            I can tell you that sometimes I understand people not wanting to get involved in SOME things but as my husband said, it’s a matter of degrees. And if I saw a little boy being raped I would not give one thought to my safety or career or anything else. My reactions would be visceral, immediate and decisive.

          • I read (the story was buried in the depths of the sports section this morning) that he’s not coaching this weekend because he is getting threats. like OH BOO HOO POOR COACH.

            FUCK him and FUCK the football-industrial complex.

            I wrote a scathing letter to the editor of the paper about it just to get some vitriol off my chest but i think they will continue to try to pretend it’s not happening.

          • @LickedRandi’sCake- I totally agree. What Paterno did, even if you believe he didn’t “actively” engage in a cover-up, was not right. But the way the Board of Trustees handled the entire situation was awful. The BoT should have dismissed everyone who was on staff during the period that this occurred as soon as the grand jury indictment came out. Instead they didn’t take any action for days. So, what I take issue with is the fact that after that time, after all of that terrible crisis management, they dismissed Paterno as a way to appease folks. I don’t think he SHOULDN’T have been dismissed- but the way things unfolded seems off, especially because McQueary and Curley are still on staff.

            Also, on another note, McQueary’s father, whom he called rather than the police, is a physician, and I believe that means he’d have been required to report the assault to the police. So, regardless of whether or not Paterno should have, or whether the admins should have… McQueary’s father should have done his duty and blown the whistle on this sick, sad situation years ago.

          • Ahhh! I just re-read the comment, and when I said whether or not Paterno and the admins should have called the police- it sort of reads as if I don’t think they should have. I TOTALLY THINK THE POLICE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED, without question, the only way to stop abuse like this is to get police intervention. I don’t want anyone to think I am excusing the behavior of anyone involved!

          • A-Game —

            That’s what I don’t get. As a high school teacher I am considered a “mandated reporter.” If I know a crime is taking place/fear for the safety of a young person, I am required to report it to child protective services or the police.

            Is it somehow different because this is a college? Because the young people weren’t one of the students?

            I mean, aside from the laws of human decency, shouldn’t all ambiguity about the situation be ripped away by the fucking JOB DESCRIPTION?

          • Cakez- I’m truly not sure. I’ve heard very vague arguments that involved 2 things. 1) That the statutes regarding mandate reporting may have been different in 2002. 2) That the statute may not have extended to Paterno. But as I recall, school administrators would still have been covered under the mandated reporting law, so while that may not have included Paterno, you’d still think it would have included the AD, or the University President!? I don’t know, and like I said, I just haven’t been able to uncover much commentary regarding that. I’m ready to start digging through PA state law, though.

          • Mcakes. I’m a mandated reporter too. College level professors/staff members are not technically mandated reporters but, come the fuck on. At my job, I have to tell my supervisor if something happens that is reportable but if she didn’t tell the authorities immediately, it would be ON ME to call the police or protective services.

          • Thank you featherbrained! I have heard from elementary/high school teachers, but I hadn’t heard exactly who was mandated to report at the college level.

            It’s so sad. Full disclosure: I’m a PSU alum, and I am grieving for those victims, for the fact that I revered my school so much when clearly the admin couldn’t care less about the well-being of children, for the fact that my (future) children may never understand why I held that place so near or dear. The last thing on the list of things I’m grieving for is football. It just doesn’t matter in comparison to the rest of this. I am angry at the way the Board of Trustees handled it. I am angry that the people in charge had such absolute power that they could flagrantly enable evil acts. I am so so sad for the victims, those who have been identified and those who haven’t, and I pray they know that none of this – the abuse OR the mess of a situation that’s followed – is their fault. It’s so sad.

          • Happy Valley is a nice enough place, but Paterno has always been a scumbag in my opinion. This nice old “Joe Pa” image is a bunch of crap. I’ve seen a few Penn State games in my day and knew people who worked in athletic depts. in other schools and there were plenty of reports of what kind of asshole he is. Not surprised he didn’t go to the cops. He thinks he’s a god. Not sorry to see him go.

          • SJS — I was arguing with brah about this last night. The whole “Joe is an asshole” element was discussed on NPR yesterday. They said that part of his firing was him being disciplined for his behavior when this whole thing broke. Like, the impression the person being interviewed gave was that JoePa basically piped up just to say, essentially, “I’m retiring at the end of the season, now let me get back to business since we have a game this weekend.”

            The actions of the board in firing him, according to the journalist, were partially a response to his hubris.

          • I imagine it was this line from his speech about plans to retire:
            “”That’s why I have decided to announce my retirement effective at the end of this season. At this moment the Board of Trustees should not spend a single minute discussing my status. They have far more important matters to address. I want to make this as easy for them as I possibly can.”

            As though he was telling them to keep out of his business. Very self-important.

        • Franco Harris deserves to be beat with his own leg, a la The Wrestler (use his leg! use his leg!). The ex-PSU, ex-Pittsburgh Steeler came out with a completely bone-headed Julia Allison-esque defense of Joe Paterno. Every PSU better think carefully about this horse shit “oh we did the right legal thing”.

          I admire Franco’s service in Nam, but sticking up for a system that allowed the methodical and, perhaps pimped the boys to donors per certain reports today, rape and destruction of these young men is sick. Karma Franco, it’s comin’ like a freight train you little bitch.

      • Yeah, raping. “Having intercourse with” is what consenting adults do together.

        Don’t mean to pick on you, because this is so widespread, but I hate the general conflation of rape and sex. Every time this situation is described as a “sex scandal” I weep.

  2. Let’s not forget this classic:

    @johncmayer – I don’t think you’re an asshole. Or a douchebag, for that matter. You’re simply unfiltered, which is exceptionally refreshing.

        • Okay, wait … * the two up top are #1 & #2; Mayer is #3; probably not fair to lump Eurine in there; @aplusk is #4 & Chuck is #5 … sound about right?

          *In no particular order

          • gotcha.
            ellsberg is a douchebag, but has he mistreated women (other than by holding that auction at his party)? mayer, max, kutcher are clear, and so is charlie.

          • I suppose the qualifier could / would be that he auctioned his own wife? Too close to call?

  3. Julia needs to turn the management of her feed over to her team at Katalyst Media to ensure the quality of it’s [sic] content.

    Also I think the world is ending. Julia Allison is claiming to be more informed on current events (related to OMG YUCKY YUCKY SPORTS!!) than Ashton, who’s following 600+ twitter feeds yet missed a HUGE news story that’s been all over the place. BULLSHIT that he didn’t have a clue what was going on. Ass.

    • Julia LOVES sports! See her desperate plea for attention from deadspin:

      From Julia Allison: Subject: “Now This”
      is good sportswriting. [http://nymag.com/guides/money/2009/59446/]
      I just sent it to Wilbon.
      I think you should write something about it!
      xo
      your favorite clueless sports non-groupie
      BTW, did you see my little SONY spot with the other Mr. Manning?
      oh yeah, baby

      From Me: (Forwarding to Emeritus)
      Yay for you?
      Sent from my iPhone

      From Emeritus:
      You actually talk to this species? I had no idea.

      Please be sure to note: obnoxious name drop (pretty sure “Wilbon” didn’t need JA to forward him that article, seeing as it’s a big part of his job), citing of article written by well-known sportswriter on a subject she knows nothing about and following claims by way of a cutesy exit note in email. All of this for the simple purpose of segueing into begging writers to pay attention to her commercial, which stars the brother of the article in question.

  4. So…someone did poor Julie wrong I guess. Wonder if it’s part of yesterday’s “women should help women” tweet. She’s been very pissy lately. I’m sure her body pleasure retreat in nyc this weekend will improve her mood.

    • Also, her latest facebook status update:

      Julia Allison
      Hatred is just another form of obsession. 😉
      14 hours ago ·

      • Okkaaayyy. Either someone hates donkey and she found our or it’s the other way around. Either way…good stuff. Shouldn’t she be on her way to my fair city to get her body groove on soon? Or is that tomorrow. I’m hoping that she stays away from nyc after this.

      • I don’t know if it’s the winky face after that tweet or the tweet, winky face combo – but it scares the shit out of me. Like Fatal Attraction scary.

          • It’s like when she put a smiley face in that email to [REDACTED] saying she guesses she’s not invited to the wedding. Haha! Funny, stalker! It wouldn’t actually be so surprising that you might show up at the wedding seeing as you used to show up at the guy’s office and the offices of his friends trying to get him to talk to you!

          • The winky face makes me rage too, guys. It’s SOOOO passive aggressive. Like not only is the tweet passive aggressive but she adds the winky face just to make sure you know.

      • It helps to remember that in Donkey’s world there is no place for reality — maybe some ex snapped & told her to leave him alone, that he hates her — her mind would twist it into *obsession* to try & convince a new cute & tiny GF of an ex that he’s really still obsessed w/ Donkey even if he tells GF how much he hates her.

        Isn’t it always about a dick that she wishes she had?

          • Keep in mind that [Redacted#2] and Fiancee are getting married this weekend (today) — and you know Donkey has that info (and is also flying into NYC today), so who knows what she’s been doing behind the scenes. There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t immediately turn their fiances over to A Donkey!

          • I can’t wait to see all the not-so-cyrptic Tweets because of course she knows the wedding is today. She’s probably been refreshing their wedding registry every four hours for the past year. I think the wedding is in New Orleans, however.

  5. Two points:

    1) while falling asleep last night I had a moment of pure excitement when I pictured some reality television overlap that would allow the Tough Love dude to wapow Julia with his “advice” (via show about ladies who can’t take their own advice, Bravo makes them take advice from someone else, etc, I dunno, you get where I was going here right?). I’d even take that Millionnaire Matchmaker lady, if just for the comments on her wardrobe choices.

    2) Anyone in the Baltimore/MD/DC area looking for a kitten? I have four fosters right now that need homes. Three are almost 3mos. and one is almost 4mos. Two of them are extremely friendly…two need some…um…work (but are very close to coming around). And no Julia, you can’t have any.

    • re#2, i wish, but I already have a kitty or i would… i helped a friend adopt a foster kitten a while back but i don’t know anyone else who can take one right now…

    • Once again, RBNSers jokingly referring to their children as “kittens” has impaired my ability to immediately comprehend a comment regarding actual kittens. See also: comments about a poster’s “cat” that I have to read through more than once to determine whether they refer to a pet or a boyfriend.

  6. She must have found out something foul about someone….wonder what it is. Oh, that last thread made me lol. Dear Jacy and Dear JP is too much, you got her voice down. The advice is coming from INSIDE the building.

  7. YOU TAKE THAT BACK! She is very principled! How dare Tucker Max say he only paid $1600 to rape her when HE REALLY PAID $1700. Thank God she corrected him on Twitter!!!!!

    She is not only worth $1600 to rape!!!! $1700 CLEARLY!!!!!

      • I wouldn’t be surprised if JA paid $2,000 for advertising fees.

        Actually, no, I’d be surprised if JA paid anything at all, though I am confident she originally made the deal. She is still in the red for ‘Mystic Camp’ after all, and that was only like $75. I’m sure that after the raping comment brought heat on her she used that to excuse herself from the deal — we never heard her braying about the date after, right?

        I imagine the exchange went something like this:


        From: Tucker Max
        Subject: A thought
        To: Julia Allison
        Chance to do the right thing!

        I’m going to the bank tomorrow.

        It would be amazing if you lived up to your promise from the party.

        How about it, JA?

        Julia wrote:

        I took $1600 isn’t bad for “a good raping” to mean “all obligations are off”

        It was $1700!

        From: Tucker Max
        Subject: Re: Some thoughts
        To: Julia

        I think it’s strange you’re still hung up on that! You asked me to! No one cares about it!!

      • Watch; it’ll be Julia Allison gifting people w/ $1,700 worth of Ellsberg’s books come Xmas time, not Tucker Max.

  8. Why is she such an asshole? Seriously. This Ashton Kutcher episode is truly appalling. The fucking asshole is only pretending that he didn’t know the background, so does she want to talk about lacking principles from the guy who’s aligned himself with some anti-child sex slavery cause? What, it’s OK for a hot young guy to cheat and be an unprincipled douchebag if he’s famous and married an Old and should actually be with her?

    Sometimes I feel slight twinges of sympathy for the mentalcase. Then she reveals her inner shallow raging cuntwitch, as she does at least once a month, and poof, it’s gone. ASS. HOLE.

  9. JuliaAllison @jecka63 – I just wish people would surprise me in a POSITIVE way. Sometimes they do … but not often enough. 🙁
    less than a minute ago in reply to jecka63

  10. OT:
    But if this show ever sees the air, I look forward to it featuring many times on the Soup and Joel McHale’s reaction to the walking Gehenna that is Donkey.

    Oh and Julia. Principles? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

      • [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_k-0tSm0I_So/S_1g_rWNmSI/AAAAAAAAAb0/qS26dWHU0Ng/s1600/InigoMontoya.jpg[/img]

        • That is my favorite line in a movie ever! I always think of this story from the web. (Not sure if it’s true, but it made me laugh)

          http://learnfrommyfail.failblog.org/2011/06/22/fail-story-lfmf-but-the-win-is-having-that-name/

          “Montoya is a fairly common Spanish surname. Inigo is a much less common, but still not unusual, first name. The Princess Bride is not very popular on the Continent. Therefore, when the new guy starts and introduces himself with “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya,” bursting into laughter and choking out the words, “You killed my father, prepare to die!” will not be funny. HR will have serious words with you. #LFMF”

          I knew someone named Inigo at work too, I laughed everytime he introduced himself.

          • A friend and I had a relatively lengthy chat with Mandy Patinkin once (his son was touring our university and I was in his prospective major, so we were talking about the program), and as soon as we left and got round the corner we looked at each other and were like HELLOMYNAMEISINIGOMONTOYA. Normally I am totally fine with separating actors and their characters, but apparently not in this case.

          • I love MP. He was the best part of ‘Dead Like Me.’ His non-involvement in the movie was the worst of many egregious fails in that shitshow.

  11. RIIIGHT. Kinda as trustworthy as a cunt who discloses her ex’s major mental illness on a widely read website. Or tips off hate sites as to the identity of the semi-famous person she is semi-dating.

    Fuck. You.

      • Sociopaths have these weird moments when they become aware of their reality; it’s like an eclipse, bright light shines on their truth, and then boom, back into the darkness.

        • Is that true? I always think of Casey Anthony’s lunatic rantings on the phone with her parents from jail about how sh’es being mistreated by the media. Yeah bitch, it’s because you’re a murderer.

          • I’ve experienced it, it’s like they develop a conscience for a minute, and then blink it’s gone again.

          • The sociopath/Narcissist I dated for several years would have these ‘breakthroughs’ about himself every six months to a year, and vow to make himself a better person.

            It would last as long as it took for him to pat himself on the back for having the breakthrough. Seriously. Like ‘realizing’ something was all the work that needed to be done. Julia does the exact same thing, but with much more frequency.

          • That is so true. They really think they’re special for having a Eureka moment when they acknowledge they’re nuts. And then they go right on back to being nuts, as though the problem is all fixed just because they acknowledged it.

  12. I look at Tucker Max and I think it must be impossible that he truly got laid even a fraction of what he claimed in his “book.” Dude is NOT good looking. Obviously he has the personality to make you think David Berkowitz would probably be charming in comparison. And then I realize there are girls like Julia out there tweeting things like, “no way is raping me only worth $1600, I’m worth $1700!” and I get sad thinking how many stupid, sad women just like Julia are out there, encouraging scum like Tucker Max. But then I get really angry that there are women like Julia out there, tweeting things only to encourage his douchetastic rape jokes and completely vile behavior.

    • I live in Silicon Valley, have two teen daughters at home and have shared The Story of Life as told by Julia Allison with them. Her actions infuriate me on so many levels and I think it’s important that people call her out on her failure at life because fuck if I want my kids thinking she (or the Kardashians) are role models or benefit society in any form or fashion.
      Both as a funny and as a reality check, we use the saying WWJD . If the kids are contemplating doing anything that Julia would they should immediately re-evaluate their young lives and alter the path asap.

    • Well, you have to remember that he has outright admitted that being passed out/too drunk to consent is not a deterrent for him. So, you know, it is possible he has ‘surprise sexed’ as many women as he claims.

      • “Surprise sex” is his only shot at sex with a female who isn’t a braying hosebeast. Both him and Julia are so sad. He’s pushing 40.

  13. OK I need to put this out here as a bit of a rant that I wouldn’t do on fb or to friends. What is wrong with people that they are up in arms about JoePa getting fired? He should get fired for not reporting or taking the proper steps to stop what was going on. If he had any moral compass he would have stepped in. I hope all involved get persecuted in some action.

    Then there’s friggin Conrad Murray. Don’t get me wrong, I loved MJ and always had his #1’s album playing in my car…. but I strongly feel he was a child molester. Granted Conrad Murray “accidentally” killed him. But what really strikes me is what the fuck is wrong with our society that they are upset Conrad Murray is going to jail and PSU students are protesting JoePa getting fired?? So it’s ok for children to be damaged and hurt forever as long as someone else gains success and is revered?

    I want to bring a kitten into this world in the near future and it scares the shit out of me that our society is like this!! I have a couple friends on my fb feed that went to PSU or into college football and it greatly upsets me to see them pissed over the “end of a legacy” and “you were the reason I went to PSU. I bleed blue for you”. Yeah, well what about if you were one of the children raped or what if it was your kid? I am just sick over this whole thing that people think it is ok.

    Sorry for the rant & hope I didn’t piss people off.

    • Perhaps optimistically, I believe institutions that have maintained the desperate practice of protecting criminals in order to protect themselves (the Catholic church, Boy Scouts, various sports teams, and in Canada the RCMP, the Armed Forces, etc) are quickly if reluctantly learning that this policy is not only grossly unjust to the victims, but is not in their own best interests in any way whatsoever. If they fess up and deal with breaches of the pubic trust swiftly and publicly, the short-term pain is far less than the alternative of being seen as co-conspirators and even abettors in the despicable behavior of a few outliers. So, on that basis, I’d suggest you take heart, db.
      I grew up in an age of incredible hypocrisy, both private and institutionalized, with everything kept behind closed doors to “keep up appearances” and shame to anyone who dared speak the truth. And I have seen those walls steadily crumble as time passed. This systematic inclination to keep face even if it means protecting criminals will soon be recognized as a mis-advised, self-defeating no-win tactic. Or so I believe, with history bearing me out somewhat, if not entirely.
      Have your babies. Teach them well. There’s a world of joy in that.

    • I’ll tell you right now what the problem is, as a mother myself and a member of Gen X. It’s that our society puts too much, no all, the emphasis on being special somehow, for anything. The goal is to become special, famous, talented, rich. Our entire lives are focused on it. We glorify it everyday in nearly every choice. Yet, we place no importance on being a good person, on character, on doing the right thing, of hard choices that were made unselfishly. We don’t talk about or praise the Atticus Finches of the world. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is much more popular than Hidden Millionaire. What happened to It’s a Wonderful Life and making heroes out of the George Baileys. I have no tools and no support in teaching my kid that what really matters is inside your heart, how you treat people, what kind of person you are, the difference you make in other people’s lives. Instead, all the media and the market are concentrated on what you have and who you know and how you look. And every once in awhile we have moments as a society like with this this Penn State CHILD RAPE scandal and we ask, “What is wrong with people?!” Well, it’s so wonder we don’t have more sociopaths.

      My kid doesn’t pass a homeless person and not part with whatever money he’s got on him or even his own blanket. He’s kind to animals and feels sorry for other kids when they suffer. He loves to share our food and our home with those who have less. He’ll give of his own need. And I’ve worked really hard to acknowledge that those traits are the most important aspect of his personality. Being smart and getting good grades and being good a video games come in second to doing the right thing. I wish society as a whole would emphasize that more. I could use some help.

      • I’m a Gen X-er, too, and I’m stunned by how accurate this is. I was pushed very hard to achieve specialness — to be set apart from my peers and colleagues in big, concrete ways — and to this moment I demand it of myself. I never even suggested to my children, though, and they are such better people than I because of it.

        • cool. I keep wondering (when talking to the kids on career day) who’s going to do the dry cleaning and be my mechanic and work in the grocery store??? All good jobs that can earn an ok living and a decent life. But they all want to be CSIs and carry guns around good looking people.

          • bingo. being a plumber (apparently) pays good money! every freaken’ (copyright flimflamme) undergrad i come across wants to go to medical school. newsflash! not everyone can be a doctor, or a fuck you money founder!

    • Getting fired is only the first step. I want this dude in jail for covering up the rape of a child. Serious jail time in a gulag type of prison.

  14. I know we say this all the time, BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HER FACE?

    Jesus. She looks awful. So do the two dweebs next to her. She has finally managed to find people as terrible as her to hang out with (who also have repulsive looking faces).

    • Except Donkey doesn’t want to be an artist (being a legitimate anything is too much work); she just wants people to think of her as an artist/expert/serious business laydee. Perception and presentation, perception and presentation.

    • That review is fucking bullshit. Stein was an incredibly influential writer. Modernism is not so much my thing, but it’s bullshit to call her a “mediocrity” or to describe her work as “fraud.” That reviewer is an asshole.

      • Said reviewer probably thinks James Joyce and Julien Green and various other people who were influenced by Stein are awesome, too. Fucking anti-intellectual fuckwad.

  15. Julia: The fact that people in your life are constantly hurting you/disappointing you says far more about you than anyone else. Yes, people suck sometimes. But friendship is a two-way street. You get what you give. If you’re constantly being let down by people, you are either not seeking out the right people or you are treating the people in your life badly. If you were a kind (actually kind, not just “OMGSONICE”), compassionate, honest, loyal person yourself you would find similar people much easier to come by and keep around. These tweets actually made me genuinely sad for you because it is so clear you have very few (if any) people in your life who really love you and care about you. Maybe you should take these feelings as a sign to honestly examine your behavior. I won’t be holding my breath, though.

    • [img]http://onlytheblogknowsbrooklyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/gold-star3-300×300.jpg[/img]

      This is redundant, but if she stopped trying to be a fame-whore and just settled down, tried to get a real job, sought out genuine, ordinary people to befriend rather than people who want the limelight as desperately as she does, she might find some form of happiness and — gasp — a MAN.

      It will never, ever happen, though.

      She desperately, pathologically, craves attention, especially attention from people who get a lot of attention; their attention is more valuable than the attention of mere mortals. However, those people either don’t want to be friends with her, have zero interest in her, or only take an interest that is as selfish and exploitative as her own.

      She will NEVER know true happiness. Just string after string of failed parasitic relationships. I would find it ‘sad’ except for the fact that she is so vacuous and nasty, and brings it on herself. I somehow can’t bring myself to honestly sympathize with the Ouroboros swelling her own throat with her tail.

  16. Totally OT, but Georgina (Georgiegirlnyc/Julia’s old neighbor) recently said something about how she was giving up dairy and gluten and it made me think of donk and also really disappointed me for some reason. I liked following her blog (and Emily of Emphasis Added) for a while because they were both new moms like me, but they both seem to have this weird focus on portraying perfection that became a huge turn off.

    I’m not even some kind of Jezzie feminist, but makes me incredibly sad for their daughters that they’re modeling this type of restrictive eating behavior so early on. Emily posted a while back about going on some juice cleanse and signed her post “Mad love and clavicles” I shit you not. Bitches, you just had babies. Your bodies worked incredibly hard. It’s ok to be nice to them and give them a little break, you know?

    Sure I lament my deflated boobs and little pooch tummy but then I quickly get over it because I have bigger shit to worry about, like, oh BEING A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR MY DAUGHTER. Anyway, random rant over.

    • Not to dismiss all dietary restrictions, but it often makes me cringe when people start radically changing their diet for reasons for reasons other than allergy or legitimately needing to lose weight. You won’t solve your problems by projecting them onto food, people. Face your problems, deal with them, then move on. Sadly it’s the only way.

      I can’t imagine what a nightmare people like this are to have over for dinner. If you’re allergic to it or feel strongly about not eating something like meat – fine. But I hate it when people just say they don’t eat gluten or whatever for vanity and/or trendy reasons. Get a life, people.

      • Exactly. Georgie was complaining that she gave up dairy and gluten but the event she went to was serving pizza. Boo fucking hoo.

        Emily and Georgie are both skinny already. So they can’t button up their old size 25 skinny jeans and they don’t look like the ana models featured on Glitter Guide? Size up, move on and get a fucking grip. For your daughter’s sake.

      • Word. We’re having people over for Thanksgiving, and our friend’s girlfriend informed me that she isn’t eating gluten anymore. Not because she’s allergic, mind you, but because she “wants to see what it feels like”. I like her, but my feeling is that she’s just going to have to deal. It’s not like she can’t eat it because something bad is going to happen to her if she does or she is anti-gluten for ethical reasons.

        And, putting aside people who genuinely have gluten sensitivity and/or allergies and/or serious diseases like Celiacs (not Ceiling Cats), can I just say how tired I am of people giving up gluten because sometimes their tummies hurt after they eat? “Oh, I was getting these stomach aches sometimes, so I stopped eating gluten.” Am I alone in sometimes getting stomach aches and just thinking, “Oh, it’s a stomach ache, this too shall pass”, and not making sweeping, reactionary changes to my diet?

        • It’s the human body – sometimes it gets weird aches and pains and stuff. It’s like these people think they need to feel 100% awesome and energetic 100% of the time. And of course the special snowflake syndrome. Why you would want to mimic the restrictive diet of someone who truly has to deal with an illness is beyond me. And you know they’re not really completely avoiding gluten because it’s in so many things and since they don’t actually get sick like someone who has Celiacs or gluten allergy, there isn’t as much as an incentive. Like if they go for sushi, are they really going to remember they can’t have regular soy sauce?

          Also, I think it takes balls to tell someone who is hosting a dinner that they’re now on some special diet when they don’t need to be for health, ethical or religious reasons.

          • Word. Pop some damn Tums, thank your host for being gracious and inviting you over in the first place and then kindly STFU.

    • I hate everyone who gives up the joys of wheat when they don’t have to.

      I’m not even some kind of Jezzie feminist

      Jezebel has as much to do with feminism as a performance of The Nutcracker has to do with nuclear physics. The idea that Jezebel is anything but a henhouse of body snark and chatting about how rape isn’t so bad and how everyone should be a stay at home mom who feeds their kids only lentils is such a weird meme to me.

      • Jezebel pissed me off so much this week (or maybe it was last) with their whole “What kind of an asshole takes her husband’s last name?” post and the subsequent eleventy-billion comments saying “Yeah, who does that?” Isn’t feminism about having choices? I’m not being sold as chattel to my huscat and forced to take on his tribal identity – I chose to tag on his last name after my own because it makes him really happy, and I wanted to validate that. So therefore according to Jezebel I am a repressed enemy of feminism. Fuck off.

        • I took my husband’s last name because it is prettier than my maiden name and a million times easier to spell. No guilt. How was carrying my father’s last name more feminist than CHOOSING to carry my husband’s?

    • Oh god, Emphasis Added – gag me with a spoon! She and I live millimeters away from each other and I’ve seen her at my gym numerous times. Do you remember her posting about falling off a treadmill while pregnant? I was in the gym that day and a number of trainers were talking about how insane it was for her to be trying to run on a treadmill that many months pregnant. I felt really bad for her that that happened, but she really put herself and her child in a great deal of danger that day. Okay, I’m probably being unnecessarily critical, but new moms like that are everywhere in my neighborhood, dragging their infants to brunch and on shopping trips to Bloomie’s like their babies are cute little accessories and it drives me bonkers because it’s just so blatantly inconsiderate of their children. UGH, I hope Julie never has kids, because she will be 100 times worse than Emily.

      • EA’s daughter Hazel is SO fat and cute! She had post a few weeks ago when Georgina was in town that Hazel weighed as much as Charlotte, who is at least a year older. I cringed at first and then became hopeful she was just bragging about that cute lil fat baby. But in the back of my mind I’m thinking she’s already worried about that precious baby’s weight.

  17. That Ellsberg party was one of her worst nights ever, looks-wise. Is that Julia Allison in the photo, or a snapping turtle?

      • both of those dudes are so damn short. figures they walk around the world feeling like they have something to prove…

      • The sweat-stain pattern on the chinny git’s t-shirt is giving me the shudders. Why is he perspiring at his collarbone and sternum? WHO DOES THAT? Perhaps he is a space alien.

  18. So on a totally me-centric note, today’s my expiration date! My huscat’s away on business so I’ve been bumbling around in London and porking out on Mexican food by myself, and I’m about to begin my evening festivities of having cheese and crackers and champagne for dinner because as a hopelessly old lady I can now do what I like. Between the gluten and dairy, the booze, and the stable relationship with someone I love and respect, I think I am the polar opposite of Julia right now. AWESOME.

    • I love when the menfolk aren’t around and you can eat cheese and crackers and pickles for dinner, or my favorite, Raisin Bran.

      • It’s true. I love him and all, but this brief trip back to single-lady-living has reminded me how delightfully slovenly and gluttonous I really am. Half my dinners this week have been peanut butter toast and gimlets and it’s been glorious.

      • ah ah ah

        Mine is DON”T JUDGE ME Premium brand (only those) saltines and Mozz/Jack cheese, dessert = cocoa dusted almonds (not choc covered) washed down with Almond champagne from Trader Joe’s.

          • chicken in a biskit are the BEST damn cracker type things! Reminds me of grandma! I haven’t had them in years, am adding to grocery list, thanks bob!

        • Love those nights too when the catfiance is away and I eat honey roasted peanut butter out of the container with my finger, sometimes with dark or milk (I don’t judge) chocolate dipped in it. Other favorites: pancakes for dinner. Cereal for dinner. Or a glass of wine and a pasta with black truffle and pecorino if I’m feeling fancy.

          Of course, RBD is my other favorite guilty pleasure. He has no idea I read here, I once told him about GOMI and then he started going on GOMI and then it stopped feeling like my private corner of the universe.

          xoxo to you all

          • LOL this is such an awesome anecdote because I got the courage to tell boyfcat about my “online reality show” and he had ZERO interest. I was relieved. Also, love breakfast for dinner. I’m so backwards (though I’m sure I’m just saying that and this is actually common) that I can eat whatever whenever. I’ve had a rice and stew for breakfast – brunch, if you will – without even thinking about it.

        • I ate my way through a single pack (wish double had been available!) of Premium saltines this past week. Consider yourself unjudged and joined. I had some random Wendy’s saltines (those are crack, too) that my supe was eating and it set off a need for saltines. #notashamed

    • Happy birthday!

      I think I’m going to send the Huscat out for cheese, because a) that sounds terrific and b) I am with kitten and I can get away with it. Thanks to Celiacs (actual, diagnosed-by-a-MD-from-a-real-university Celiacs) running in my family and being recently diagnosed in multiple members, I just went through a bunch of gluten testing — but I don’t have it. Bring on the non-rice-crackers!

        • Real talk, though, rice crackers are delicious. I eat the Sesmark ones and I pretty much never touch any other type of cracker anymore. When I am having a lazy lunch day I just eat a handful of those with some hummus or canned soup. I’ve gotten so many people eating them because they see me nomming them in the lunchroom and ask to give one a try. It helps that 16 rice crackers = 2 grams of fat, 120 calories, or something close to that.

          Rice crack fo lyfe!

          Also, happy birfday, LOL!

          • Rice crackers are indeed yummy, but having to give up good beer, sourdough bread, and yummy desserts would make me sadder than Julia in a refined, educated land in which no one has ever heard of her (ie Sweden).

    • happy birthday! i lived in london for a while and there was this one really good mexican (good for being in london at least) place in the angel/islington area but i can not for the life of me remember what it’s called. have a wonderful day!!

      • Thanks! I’ll have to go on a hunt for this restaurant–good Mexican food is the one thing I really miss, and I only know of one decent place in London.

        • The best place you can go for Mexican in London (in my opinion) is Wahaca. We should have a London meet up at some point, there must be a fair few of us cat ladies.

      • Yeah, I can’t buy Honey Nut Cheerios because they never make it even remotely close to a bowl. I do like eating them with a glass of milk alongside, though. Deconstructed breakfast! So avante-garde!

        • I buy Sweet Home Farm brand of French Vanilla granola w/ almonds that comes in a quart carton like milk & just tip that puppy back, no bowl, no spoon, sure as hell no milk — makes for a great snack.

          • DG — I like milk on my cereal, but I am insane about the way I eat it. I have to pour half a bowl of cereal in, put the spoon in, sit at the table, and pour half a cup of milk in and then eat fast before it gets at all soggy. When the bowl is empty, if there is milk left over, I either slurp it or dump it. Then I start over and repeat the process until full. If the cereal gets at all soggy before I can eat it, I have to throw it out and start over. Sometimes in a new bowl (sogginess taints the bowl!)

            I am a cereal weirdo.

        • @mcakez: you are def NOT crazy.

          I ruined a very nice bowl of raisin bran this morning because of stupid milk. I had to dump the whole bowl after a few bites because it got too soggy.

          Some cereals are better with a bit of milk. Like raisin bran. But I have no clue how to get around the soggy problem. So I just end up going back to my plain Cheerios sans the hateful milk.

    • Happy birthday to you! I love London so ridiculously, so I’m super jelliez. 😉 The bf and I have been chowing on unsalted-top Saltines and garlic hummus, and now I have a mad hankering for some smoked gouda or a little butterkase. Yummers.

      • This whole thread about eating solo and all your delicious food ideas rocks! But it is also making me extremely hungry. This is one of the more fun threads I can remember reading on here in a while!

      • Thank you! Oooh, smoked gouda. I had a smoked yark, but I’m afraid it was disappointing. 🙁 So I filled the hole in my heart with really strong stilton.

  19. I was just at the Veteran’s Day Parade on 5th Avenue. Boy, did my jaw drop when I saw: A donkey wrapped in a Wounded Warriors blanket!

    [img]i.imgur.com/24Hmi.jpg[/img]

  20. Poor Lilly. Looks like she’s part of Donk’s new authenticity costume for Bravo…she’s being dragged cross-country on the Julia Allison Find A Wallet Tour 2011.

      • I was thinking about this when my mother’s 14-year-old dog died earlier this week — he was lucky enough to have the same home his whole life. Lilydog is carted all over like luggage.

    • *Har* So she covers that sh*t up, now, because it’s that bad. But how’s she gonna claim she has social media presence in order to grift more free stuff from companies?! Can’t have it both ways, Donk. Also, ugly all over.

    • i can still see her twitter stream, not logged in or anything. perhaps she’s donking around with the settings?

        • I still see her Twitter but she probably changed her public settings because someone dumbly Tweeted her about her “jacked” face. Someone with one Tweet and no followers. I hate when people do that.

  21. I’ve been to at least four doctors and none of them know Wtf to do about my sporadic, yet super intense stomach pains that always occur in the exact same place. It sucks. I wish it was as simple as giving up gluten.

    Maybe Julia’s new ‘doctor’ could help?

    • Ouch. I’m sure being actual doctors they’ve ruled out any kind of ulcer? There are lots of things that cause pain around there, some more serious than others. Find a good gastroenterologist if you haven’t yet and prepare for a series of really annoying scopes. My ex had multiple stomach issues and it took ages to diagnose him. Stomach pain is the pits–I hope you’re able to find an answer and feel better soon.

      • It’s totally unpredicatable. Sometimes eating helps, sometimes eating preceeds it. I’m a (social) scientist and I’ve tried to be all science-y about isolating variables. Fail. I’ve eliminated gluten, starch, sugar, dairy, etc… from my diet at various points with no clear results. Exercising after the pain has started makes it much, much worse. I have an appt with Dr Number 4 (best one so far) next week.

        Ewh. Scopes. This might be why I procastrainted on a it a bit…

        • I finally figured out that I was causing morning stomach issues by taking vitamins close to bedtime & often not drinking enough to wash them down so they sat above my stomach causing a burning pain. Stupid on my part, but luckily nothing serious.

          Hope you find a simple solution too! 🙂

        • Ride the Midazolam train if they let you, CCS. You won’t remember much. 😉 And any discomfort will pay off if they can figure out what’s wrong. Best of luck, I hope it’s minor and totally treatable but enough of a thing to make all this pain and annoyance worth it. (I hate being sick and it turns out to be nothing much–where’s the sympathy for that? Then you have to invent conditions or exaggerate your symptoms and then you’re just A Donkey and nobody feels sorry for A Donkey.)

  22. WARNING: TROPICAL STORM “INNER RAGE” BEAST IS HEADED TOWARDS NEW YORK!

    JuliaAllison @ChrisDelnara – actually? That’s just my face. So what you really should tweet me is: why the hell is your face so ugly??! Just a tip. 🙂

    • Her response makes no sense at all. I’m not suggesting the original tweet was in any way brilliant or called for but it said: “Why the hell is your face so jacked up? Plastic surgery? … ”
      Why she bothered to respond is beyond me but since she did, it’s nonsensical regardless.
      How much must it suck to be so utterly self-involved.

    • I am wondering if this is a ploy for the reality show. To show people what her “haters” do. This is not a catlady tweeting her. It’s not the tone or language we use. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was writing these herself to paint anyone who criticizes her as a mean troll who calls her ugly/fat. Much like FOX News interviewing the craziest person at OWS.

      Because if it was one of us, we would have thrown in a DONKEY for sure. Also, she has never really responded to her random hate tweets before. Lately she’s been acting out quite a bit on twitter.

      Maybe it’s just the whole pressure of the Bravo show combined with losing her job, being past her expiry date, having no friends and living with her parents that’s making her extra crazy.

      • I agree with this. It’s like she read this site and then made up a tweet about her face being f’d up because she knows we mention it so often. That twitter account has 0 tweets and 0 followers. And the tweet seems oddly out of step for a real hater. I would love it if Bravo caught her doing crap like this.

      • Last time Julia Allison whined about a mean hater calling her ugly, it was conveniently timed when she was getting an Rx for for an anti-depressant (she whined to her doc about waking up to tweeters calling her ugly) & yet there was only one such tweet, from a brand new acc’t.

        Now here’s one tweet calling her ugly, from a brand new acc’t, while she’s back in NY. Wasn’t it a NY doc who gave her an Rx? Because haters called her ugly?

        Probably she’s replying to a “hater” so that she can easily get back to the offending tweet when she’s whining again to her doc for an Rx because she has mean haters.

        • How did I miss that? When was she ever asking for a prescription for anti-depressants? Did she blog/Tweet that? Ambien, I remember, after PK dumped her, but not an anti-depressant. I don’t recall that.

          And yes, some trolls have shown up in the comments and insulted her in ways that were so over the top that it was probably one of her henchwomen or a fan girl. What I am talking about is people starting up Twitter accounts just to call her names. That’s been happening for two years, long before she started whining about online bullying or had a reality show. I am pretty sure at one point some commenters confessed to doing it. I just wish it didn’t happen. It’s One-Stop Donkey Insult Shopping here on RBD. I don’t understand the need to get in her face and rub it in. She can ignore this site if she wants. But when someone directly Tweets you, you can’t ignore it. I think it’s gratuitous. It’s not like she doesn’t read here.

          • “What I am talking about is people starting up Twitter accounts just to call her names. That’s been happening for two years, long before she started whining about online bullying or had a reality show. I am pretty sure at one point some commenters confessed to doing it. I just wish it didn’t happen. It’s One-Stop Donkey Insult Shopping here on RBD. I don’t understand the need to get in her face and rub it in.”

            Hear hear.

            If she is creating or feeding into the hatred for a storyline, that’s just pathetic. How sad, to think that she finally found a reality tv-worthy angle, and it’s a bastardized version of RBDonk. Gross. Let’s not feed into it.

          • Reading that comment back, not sure it makes a ton of sense. Little bit drink (tm Julia’s fake drinking tweets) over here.

          • I think Brayella is referring to that moment recently when she was grousing on facebook about how people always tell her how ugly/single she is. It was right around the time that the tipster revealed that she told Ryan that she got a prescription for anti-anxiety meds.

            Also, I’m not saying she planted the tweet. That is a little tinfoil hatty to me. I am just saying that she and her hencemen have no problem creating fake comments/tweets in different places whenever they want to accomplish something. The Sony thing was especially interesting because that was a ‘big’ break for her, and someone certainly wanted to make us look bad, and make sure that the name RBNS was well attached to the crazy.

          • I thought the Xanax was because she was stressed out being so busy prepping for the “new project,” not because of the haters. I might be wrong.

          • Jacy, you recently posted tips from whomever w/ the inside track re: the a-d rx, etc. … is this ringing a bell yet? It was around the time of the museum party …

            If my air card wasn’t sucking wind like an aol dial-up, I could pull up the previous “ugly” tweet — maybe someone else can do that? (use refined search to eliminate @tresemm & @tresemme / use search word: ugly).

            I just noticed though that she posted about seeing Dr. Bobby today, btw … hmmm …

          • Jacy,

            I think some people were just extrapolating that she was partly using haters to justify her meds because she was whining about how she wakes up every day to being told how ugly and single she is — and it was around the same time.

            Personally, I think she was just whining about that to get sympathy comments, but that is just me. Also, that particular whining makes me laugh in conjunction with her “I have five bajillion e-mails!” tweet. “I have five bajillion e-mails… of everyone telling me how fat and single I am. :(“

          • Ryan thinks she is pretty but looks rough right now. He told her to get a xanax prescription or something and she texted back a few days later saying she did. […] Oh, and she said that she wakes up to tweets about how ugly and single she is. https://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/10/29/14402/

            ———————————————————
            (Here’s what I said / found before:)
            https://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/10/29/14402/#comment-287292

            “She probably could have gotten the Xanax Rx w/out BS’g the doc, but I guess she’s so used to relying on the rape claim to get her out of homework that she relies on the ol’ tried & true? One ‘ugly’ tweet wouldn’t have constituted ‘bullying’?

            You can search @juliaallison using the refined search (eliminate tweets w/ words: ‘tresemm’ & ‘tresemme’ / narrow down to any tweets w/ words: ‘ugly’ or ‘single’) & here’s the ONLY tweet that comes up:”

            RossCA11 Ross CA
            @JuliaAllison Some guy friends of mine just asked, “When did Julia Allison get so fucking ugly?” What should I tell them?

            “Interestingly enough, that tweet is the one & only by that person, & just in time for appointment to get an Rx (apologies, Boomerang!)”

          • I agree with mcakez that Julia whines about being called ugly because she wants sympathy AND she’s fishing for compliments. No one wants to hear someone say they’re ugly, but in Donkey’s case, I don’t think it hurts her feelings as much as it makes her angry. Angry because the person doing the name-calling can’t see how gorgeous, hot, tiny, and cute she is. No amount of “you’re ugly” will ever convince Julia Allison that she’s anything other than a sizzling hot beautiful woman who is highly desirable to all the boys. The thousands of pictures she’s posted of herself on facebook are a pretty good indication of just how madly in love with her own image she is.

          • Agreed. It pisses her off more than it hurts her, I think. Although on some level it must hurt as well given her entire life is all about her appearance.

          • I’m completely lost. I know for a fact that people here have created twitter accounts. I think it was probably one of us or a lurker. The story about the anxiety medication (not antidepressant) makes no sense in the context.

          • I agree with Jacy – my memory says she got the Xanax because she was stressed out about none of her friends signing releases.

            I agree with whoever said that according to her FB 2700 pics of herself, she is madly in love with herself.

          • Just supposition & conjecture on my part, ya’ll; a half-assed attempt to connect dots between solitary solitary “ugly” tweets & Rx’s that wasn’t expected to be taken quite so literally.

            Oct: She was in NYC; she said haters were tweeting that she’s ‘ugly & single’; she got an Rx.

            Nov: She’s in NYC; look! another tweet re: her looks; gets emergent work-in to see Dr. Bobby today.*

            * Another Rx? Who knows? I’d bet yes though.

          • Unrelated, but googling “Julia Allison ugly” turned up this little gem of Julia’s bullying other women. It reiterates the point that what matters is that Julia Allison is ugly on the inside.

            It’s just an added bonus that the outside is turning out to be a busted, greasy, bloated mess.

  23. I just want to say that I meant to predict both of these things about her visit to nyc–especially the hair, since it started looking like shit a few days after she had it done. She’s freaking out about her face, peoples.

    Favorites Following Followers Lists
    »
    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    And lest I forget, a HUGE thank you to my dermatologist savior, @BobbyBukaMD, who squeezed me into his schedule today. You’re an angel!
    4 hours ago »
    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Thank you to my very precious friend @RyanNickulas “The Peltmaster” at @RyanDariusSalon for touching up my red locks today! Love you babe.

    • I didn’t realize before that she called her pelts… pelts. And her stylist the peltmaster.

      It would never occur to me to call my hair anything other than, y’know, hair.

      • Tangentially related: I was walking home with friends around the 30th Ave subway stop in Astoria, and Our Gal Teej walked by. We sort of locked eyes and he looked shifty. It was reeeeeeaaaaallly weird.

        • A Teej sighting! I used to think he was cute back when he first started “lifecasting.” I loved the dumb little videos he’d make from the salon. He seemed so sweet and naive, but that didn’t last long. He turned sleazy…or maybe he always was sleazy, and I just didn’t pick up on it right away.

  24. Currently being discussed in chat: making every song about our animals when we are bumming around the house. Either just repeating their name over and over again to the tune of a song, or changing the lyrics to represent the pet name and pet related things.

    Examples: Dobby and the Jets, Dobby McGee, Dob Do (to the tune of ‘Fuck You’), Dobby in the Night, Horror Dobness, Dob Dobby-dee (Miss Misery), etc.

    WHO DOES THAT?!?! AREN’T WE QUIRKY AND ADORABLE?!?! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ON OUR CHAT BASED REALITY SHOW? NO WAIVERS!!!!

      • This is good. We also agreed that Benny and the Jets is an often used classic. I also like to do some, “My Chunky tis of thee, sweet bulldog from Laurel Street, Of thee I sing…”

    • My favorite is to sing, “there’s a Stella in my bed” to the tune of katy Perry’s Last Friday Night (regular lyrics are – there’s a stranger in my bed)

    • I’ve yet to hear it myself, but a friend told me that after they’d been to my house visiting & her little girl played w/ my cats that now her little girl sings the jingle from an Italian restaurant commercial & substitutes one of my cat’s name’s.

      (Glad I can’t recall how she said it goes, cuz it’s catchy & gets stuck in my head.)

      • Aww, that’s so sweet.

        Is anyone from the Boston area? Bernie and Phyl’s jingles are great to add your pet’s names to.

    • OMG, I got it all over you, but you have validated my favorite hobby/conceptual art project (Whoa — maybe MY WHOLE LIFE is an art project??!!):

      “YOU are the prettiest white cat ever … and YOU are the prettiest brown cat ever. White Sugar/Brown Sugar/I love you/White Sugar/Brown Sugar/I love you … hey! Don’t go running off!

      So YOU, white one, are as luminously white as a princess in a fairytale (not the one where the white cat’s head gets cut off, though) and your black button nose is unique and sublime and divine And look at YOU, brown one: honey, licorice, butterscotch, chocolate, treacle, coffee, toffee, apricot jam — all the colors of the dessert rainbow.

      Anyone want a snack? Why are you running away?”

      • oops, should have mentioned the song connection: “black leather black leather, kill, kill , kill” — from The Damned, a movie well worth checking out. Can’t figure out how to link from this computer. But just google the title and lyrics referenced.

    • I will see your singing of songs using pet names and raise you meowing ALL of Bob Dylan’s ‘Lay Lady Lay’.

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