Well That’s Regal. . .

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Oh lord. Did she really wear this Queen of Farts costume to bounce around from empty apartment to empty apartment? This was not the super awesome, reality show-ready version of The Muppet Takes Manhattan that I was expecting. This version is much sadder and more pathetic.

350 COMMENTS

  1. Pretty much everyone I’ve seen out in the city has made their own costumes. Her “friends” made their own costumes. Trust Julia to wear a store-bought monstrosity.

  2. All greased up and nowhere to go. It is sad.

    Ha ha ha! I meant to write “all dresses up” and somehow “greased” appeared! A bit appropriate, n’est pas?

  3. Her eyes have gone from soulless to lifeless. I think reality is starting to crack through her facade and she realizes how little she has left and how unable she is to change her trajectory.

    there’s no way that getting fired so quickly from a job she considered beneath her and basically a backup plan didn’t sting more than a little.

    • It really is stunning when you consider that the “columnist” job is far below what Julia was doing when she was 24 and 25 years old. She was writing puff pieces, full of PR jargon, which only saw the light of day in free newspapers. And her TV appearances dwindled to de minimus appearances on stations connected to the aforementioned failed column.

      She has no hope left, but at least we can laugh at her and gain some new catladies via her awful reality show.

      • I just have to say this because you’ve made this same comment dozens of times and been corrected dozens of times yet still make it. WGN is the channel affiliated with the Tribune. WLS is the station airing Good Day Chicago. Completely different. I know this is trivial but IMO if we perpetuate half-truths here it makes it easier for Julia and her “supporters” to point to this site as a bunch of misinformed idiots, especially when this error has been corrected again and again with it clearly not sinking in. Just one of my pet peeves, I guess.

        • sorry to be pedantic, but she wasn’t with “the Tribune” but with “Tribune Media Services”. Is there a link between the latter and WLS? it seems plausible (but I could be wrong).

        • No, they’re not connected. WLS is an ABC-owned local station. WGN and Tribune Media Services are both owned by the Tribune Company.

          I think this whole misconception started when she first started bragging about being on TV and I thought she was talking about the little spots for WGN that all my friends and acquaintances who worked for the Tribune were forced to do, even though all of them HATED doing it.

          Then it turned out that she was actually talking about the “Windy City LIVE!” show on WLS.

          • Anyway, I think this urban legend is my fault because I introduced the whole WGN idea into the mix before I found out that “Windy City LIVE!” was even a thing.

            Of course now she has been banished into the side-eye cornfield from there, so…

    • No way. She is thinking “My thighs haven’t looked this thin since I was in High School!” Although I wonder if the images haven’t been, um, tweaked a little.

  4. I just assumed these were pre- and post-party and that she couldn’t post actual party pics for Bravo reasons.

    • I don’t know. She ‘rallied’ at 11 (after saying around 10:15ish that she didn’t know how she would rally, since she was ensconced in a chair or some such shit — so exactly when did she begin the seven hour process of getting ready?), ‘hit three spots’ (by cab, surely) and then by 2AM was eating her feelings with Louie at some skeevy looking diner.

      In a really short time frame, that is a whole lot of bouncing to all have also crammed in photos with Lou-dawg (who looks like he is trying really hard to get away from her in that one photo) and his ambiguously costumed friend.

      I think it is just as tragic as it appears in these pictures. I also don’t give her credit to resist the urge to tweet about the parties she was at, if they were all sitting around drinking awesome shooters, listening to awesome music and just soaking up each other’s awesomeness. My prediction: she tried to go to a few parties, couldn’t get in or did and no one would talk to her once she was inside, she called it a bust and went and hit up Lousy to hang out so she could pretend to be having awesome close-friend times rather than a night like the complete pariah that she is.

      • EXACTLY!!!! She did not go to any awesome parties, people. Wake up!!!! She has no friends in NYC, the only people who want to see her are her “Open the Kimono” bullshit friends who would love to get on TV and shill there products.

        No one wanted to sign releases and there were no invites to any parties. Get real.

      • Well, drop the phone and call me corrected, you’re right. Essentially, she got dressed up like a loon to eat fries at a diner. Well done Julesie, this is just the image Yandy were hoping you’d project to your 4 readers and snark site.

        She’s really going to have to manufacture some drama for Bravo if this is all the glamor and excitement she can create, because when the cameras are rolling no amount of spin is going to hide just how boring, empty her life is.

        • Her lack of friends is going to be even more glaring when Bravo manages to convey to the viewing audience that most all of Julia Allison’s Fakebook fans are courtesy of OMG! Randi! the Ugly Zuckling & that many of her Twitter fans are just purchased ad bots.

          • Go back & re-read, JP … it wasn’t at all about if OMG! Randi! signed the waiver (which I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see her do, btw) but rather it was about Donkey’s jump in FB fan count thanks to whatever the hell it was that Randi did back when Donkey’s fan count jumped by tens of thousands overnight.

          • You’re right, I’m stupid. I still don’t think that Randi or Greasy or any of our regular cast of characters will appear on the show.

          • Yeah, and as if her family would appear on the show. The show isn’t RBD: Bravo, it’s gonna be a terrible, scripted reality show filled with L.A. famewhores we’ve never heard of.

          • Julia Price, maybe Taryn Southern (although, after that birthday party debacle…?), maybe Shira Lazar (might be desperate after prematurely reporting Steve Jobs dead)… that’s all I can come up with. No way Musk will be on the show. Maybe some of the people from that Ferris conference? Yeah, it’s going to have to be new people who will do anything to be on TV. Randoms!

  5. I can’t tell if it’s the reddish hair (looks unnatural now and will also look ratty in 2 weeks) or the injectibles-filled face (thanks, Dr Bobby!) or the cheap costume made out of plastic… but she looks even more horrible and pathetic than usual. You can really see her inner fakeness in the way she presents herself to the world.

      • Just the first? Because I see that same face in all the pics, and it is LITERALLY scaring me. Maybe this is what she meant by her “rally”, because she looks exhausted, rough, and extremely lazy in the makeup department.

  6. My two thoughts:

    1. I thought she said she was through with slutty costumes.

    B. Is the tiara a shot at Jordan? “She has a husband, a baby and a fulfilled life, but I have the crown!”

    • Yeah, she also said a few years ago that she refuses to wear store bought costumes. Um, err, oops? She meant it at the time!

      • Wasn’t she going to rent one from an opera company thanks to the advice of a completely ineffable reader?

        • Eh, that was before Yandy (who she was making fun of a WEEK ago) offered her a free costume. Whatever, feel free to relax, does that help?

    • BRAINS BRAINS BRAINS WALLET BRAINS!

      His eardrums must be in throbbing agony, if not shattered there.

      And that pic is the absolute illustration of her menz problemz. It’s all right there in that picture. Overdressed (outlandishly, slutty yet princess in-her-mind) and overbearing. Clinging to a guy while he tries to escape the clutches and piercing brays. She looks like she has actual hooves. That’s Our Donk, right there.
      *sheds a proud tear for her predictable awfulness*

  7. I love how serious that pose is by the piano. She’s still trying to show what a classy, classy lady she is while dressed up in a slutty costume. She literally has no sense of humor.

  8. Her face is so puffy that she has a different face shape now. Her face used to be more oval-shaped, but now it is round. That is not natural or normal! She’s starting to look like Tiffani Amber Thiessen, who I think is pretty. The difference is Thiessen has a naturally round face, but Julia’s face is about to explode from the pressure of a lifetime’s worth of fillers in her face.

    • Normally people’s faces thin out as they age while hers is doing the opposite. That ain’t natural, Donkey, so quit pretending that it is.

  9. I will say this: she doesn’t look as much like she set the make-up gun to whore in these pictures.

    You’re welcome, Julia. You still look like a cow in a clown suit, though.

    • wah! I couldn’t find the right picture of nursie in her cow costume – you know the one 🙂

      [img]http://members.iinet.net.au/~jez/junk/Nursie.jpg[/img]

      • Oh, man, NURSIE!! That really is the best Blackadder, much as I loved Hugh Laurie’s turn as the Prince Regent.

  10. Julia, seriously, if you make a guy take 4,000 pics of you alone in a Halloween costume, he will never want you. It’s cukoo.

  11. She looks awfully miserable; her eyes just seem dead. I feel badly for her that she cannot give up on the fame thing and realize that life is about so much more than appearances and getting publicity for mindless bullshit. Why not instead be remembered by others for being a good person, friend, etc., or for contributing to something meaningful that will actually help others? Answering your own questions in your sex column doesn’t count.

    About five years ago, I was in an accident that left part of my face permanently scarred. Many people don’t seem to notice, but I did, and I often felt/feel people are staring. It was extremely traumatic for me to deal with — not because I relied particularly much on my looks before then, but mainly because I didn’t feel like “me” when I looked in the mirror. It has taken me a long time to accept what happened and to feel comfortable in my skin again, and on bad days, it really does bother me. But you know, I ended up with a great guy who I married last year who loves me for me, and we have a sweet baby girl now. And going through what I did (and also just growing older) really made me realize how much we identify with appearances (not always to the extreme that Julia does), and how trivial it really is in the grand scheme of things.

    But I think I can safely say that most people would rather be friends with someone because they are kind, loyal, thoughtful, fun, witty, etc., than because they are pretty, and if they don’t then they’re not worth keeping close. I just think it’s sad that Julia hasn’t yet realized that she is destroying herself over something so meaningless, and that when/if she were to attain it, she would probably still be unsatisfied.

    • She doesn’t want friends or love — she wants to be admired, desired and envied. She has no use for reciprocal feelings.

    • This is so true and insightful. Thanks for sharing. I’ve just begun realizing how much life is about what kind of person you are, not what kind of things you have or what you look like. It took me awhile, too. I’m 38, and I had a tramatic childhood that took my 20s to try to forget and my 30s to try to get over. So, I can see right through Julie these days because she is such an extreme of silly things I did and learned in college. I just don’t understand why it’s taking her so long for things to click. And what her reason is for being so f*cked up. Dude, I came from nothing but pain. What’s your excuse.

      • I can relate to this too–sometimes you become interested in stupid shit as a way of covering up or blocking things out. For me that started to die out a few years ago, about the same time that I found out who this shrill famewhore was… which only hastened the process.

    • “I feel badly for her that she cannot give up on the fame thing and realize that life is about so much more than appearances and getting publicity for mindless bullshit. Why not instead be remembered by others for being a good person, friend, etc., or for contributing to something meaningful that will actually help others?”

      Lots of truth in this. Most of us need to be reminded of this, albeit less so than Julia. And it’s not usually fame, it could be things such as job title, salary, educational bullshit degrees, etc. etc. Most of us need to be reminded of this from time to time. Also thanks for sharing your story/insight.

  12. Surely THIS dragstume is the outfit that caused the dressing room mirror meltdown. No? Huh. That’s really odd, considering how g-d stupid she looks here.

    Gurl needs a make-up & hair styling class or seven. She looked pretty the day of the tv appearance, & I can only assume that is thanks to professional hair & make-up people. I’m tempted to go back & look, but you guys probably can confirm, was she un-shiny that day?

    • So true. It’s by far the worst costume she’s done. It’s just stupid. Moonboots with a queen costume. Makes no sense. And the cut out hearts on the moonboots, why? And if your thighs and knees are your worst feature, why highlight them? She’s nearing the 60 year old with the smeared makeup, lowcut dress and a drink in one hand as she falls all over everyone still talking to her.

      • CUT OUT HEARTS BECAUSE SHE IS THE QUEEN OF HEARTS HAHA? COSTUME IS HER ART, OKAY? THE ARTS OF HEARTS WITH MORE HEARTS IS BETTER HAHA! MORE ARTY! HAHA! GOD YOU MUST HURT YOUR BRAIN A LOT IF YOU CAN’T THINK OF THAT!! HAHA, JUST TKIDDING, BUNNY! GO READ A NEW SPAPER!!!

        • That theory gets tossed around every time she breaks them out, but no, they are clip ons for flats. She took them to the 4th of July wedding this year, too.

  13. You people realize she chose this costume because it lets her dress like a prostiwhore while still hiding her ass. Only that monstrosity only makes her ass look bigger.

    • God, that costume looks horrible, and she just makes it a million times worse by pairing it with the white go-go boots. So much Cankleshausen! Ointment and Vicodin needed, STAT.

    • Considering how nasty the weather was on NYC on Saturday night, her clam dungeon probably caught a cold and is now sneezing untold bodily fluids all over the place.

  14. So, due to the timeline, it seems like Julia actually didn’t have anywhere to go on Halloween, so she tweeted about being too tired/not feeling like doing out… and then pretended to go to a party (that might not have existed)… and then, she pretends she is on her way home from the party as an excuse to meet up with Lewis Howes (another sad famewhore)? Is there anything I’m missing here?

    Holy fucking sad.

  15. aaaaaaaah, it’s just getting sadder and sadder. if you cover up everything but her eyes in any one of these pics, she looks so LOST. i can’t help it, i’m feeling really sorry for her. i know she’s made a zillion dick moves, but i can’t imagine what it’s like to be so alone, with absolutely zero self-awareness. gah.

    • STOP HAVING FEELINGS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AS SOULLESS AS JULIA BOGGER.

      It’s sad to imagine being her. I don’t feel sorry for her, but I still recognize that her life is sad. BECAUSE IT IS.

      • Empathy is what separates us from her. I know we’re not supposed to feel anything, but I’d rather sometimes feel sorry for her (and be wrong) than to mimic her and dehumanize her.

        Jesus, sorry my peeps. I haven’t finished my coffee, nor have I shaken off a long, intricate dream in which I was engaged to my high school boyfriend, except in the present. I’ve got the weirds.

  16. So she spent all that time and effort on a costume and was photographed alone in a few random people’s apartments? That makes me cringe. Where were the Megans and the other people in new York who usually tolerate her?

    And those boots are so gross. How sad for her.

    • It’s even sadder than the ballerina Halloween in LA. But I still giggled over the costume, because I am unfeeling like that.

      • Her FireFox costume from last year was also pathetic. She was wandering around New Orleans taking pictures of herself, and no one was around. Then she took more pics of herself at the airport, more pics on the plane, and more pics when Greasy picked her up in SF. Not once did it look like she was even close to having an ounce of fun…she was just taking pictures of herself in that hideous costume. She’s an empty shell of a person, and she’s about to find out that all the Bravo attention in the world will not fix that problem.

        • But she went skydiving, bunny! And made everyone at the airport smile with her costume! She’d not random!

        • I can’t believe Slutty Firefox was a year ago. Shiiiiiiiiiit, I don’t think I’ve moved from in front of my computer for a year.

          Must go get some air. BRB.

          • I hate that I know this, but wasn’t it Vegas?

            This was when she was OBOing Greasy, yes? What a difference a year… does not make.

          • not only was she in Vegas, she went to a grifter self-help workshop…dressed as slutty firefox. (so sorry so fat)

            [img]http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/1449405909/1/tumblr_lb6hx4A5C31qz6dlk[/img]

            [img]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb6rouXwKb1qz6dlko1_400.jpg[/img]

            love that background photobomber.

          • WHAT JESUS NO

            SHE WENT TO A STEVE PAVLINA WORKSHOP DRESSED AS SLUTTY FIREFOX

            I CANNOT BELIEVE

            ALSO REMEMBER THAT HER WOO WOO PSYCHIC GURU IS STEVE’S EX-WIFE

          • I can see it now: imagine the day when, after Miss Advised airs, that people who’ve googled Julia Allison end up on RBD & start identifying innocent braystanders in the backgrounds of fauxtos.

            “Hey Brandon! I never really bought your story about being stuck on a plane next to a smelly Firefox slut, but I’ll be damned, there’s a picture of it on a website! Mybad, bro!”

          • Re: the plane shot, I love the guy sitting next to her with folded arms, who’s clearly thinking LA LA LA THIS ISN’T HAPPENING IF I IGNORE IT IT WILL GO AWAY!

          • Contrast her smugface (getting pounded by Greasy, just met/about to meet Jack) with her face in the most recent Halloween photos.

            The scary thing is that she thinks this show will make everyone love her!

          • Ah yes, she went to a “Conscious Growth” workshop in a slutoween costume. I forgot about that. This is why I don’t worry that she’ll be broken down by the reality show experience at all. She has no self awareness whatsoever.

    • Bravo must be clapping its hands with glee. This shit writes itself.

      I wonder if this is what Ashley Teasdale had in mind (she’s pretty wholesome, right?)

    • not the super dark, but yes, with brown hair absolutely. it’s so funny that bravo basically ordered her to go red. as if they just know it will bring out the craycray. i love it.

  17. 40 comments and no one has called out the dude wearing sparkly leggings and eyeliner?!

    hookay then.

  18. It’s worrisome that those photos make me sad.com

    This is going to be a long, hard, whacko “pilot” season.

  19. It gives me little pleasure to say this, but: she’s become a very unattractive woman, physically.

    If Julia Allison gives back Jordan Reid’s tiara, which she most assuredly did steal, I may believe she has a chance to redeem some sort of inner beauty.

    • She’s just so dum. Jordacted, if that’s you, forget that you will ever get your tiara back. She has terminal mental illness and there is no inner beauty to show.

      I didn’t like the jet-black witch pelts she was rocking since the last bout of red, but I have to say now that she might have looked better in that period. Has there been a change in the design of her eye makeup? Whatever it is, it is not flattering it all. Could makeup design be the “contract issue” she and Bravo have purportedly been in conflict over? Emily and Amy are going to mop the floor with her, appearance-wise!

  20. I don’t understand all the people feeling sad or sorry for her. I’m laughing my ass off over here. This is the payoff, and it’s wonderful.

    • It does take a special kind of mental illness to have a life’s goal of being on a reality T.V. show, usually reserved for the trailer dwellers that used to be guests on Jerry Springer.

    • What JP said! It’s a great day, not a sad day, when a hosebeast like Julia Allison, who’s been lying her ass off and seriously mistreating people her entire life, finally gets what she’s got coming.

    • This is like Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, my birthday, great sex with my catfriend and winning the lottery — all rolled into one fiery fameball, that is about to flame out!

    • People are just assuming that she’s going to be eviscerated on tv and that everyone watching will know her sad existence immediately. She might not even make it to tv, guys, and think of how unsympathetic you’ll feel if she turns out to be a hit. Every reality villain has a huge fanbase somewhere. Even that asshole teen mom who keeps getting arrested and losing custody of her child.

    • They all need to go back and reread the poll entries. She did all that shit, people. Her “haters” didn’t drive her to it. She did it all, and most of it in the span of one year, last year. She’s an asshole. If poor little baby’s sad, it’s because she still doesn’t understand that if you go through life being an asshole, eventually you’ll have no friends.

  21. Bravo knew what they were doing when they ordered Jooliar to take on the appearance of the “Stage 5 Clinger” from Wedding Crashers.

    These pics belong on saddotcom. :\ It’s going to take a vat of Xanax for her to get through this. Why couldn’t she just pursue an honest normal life than hollow appearances like this?? She’s going to be single for a very long time.

  22. can’t believe I’m the first to make this connection…I’ll just leave this here:

    [img]http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/10/11/article-1076574-02F8850B00000578-535_468x635.jpg[/img]

    • Nah; you’re not the first. This has appeared at least a couple of times here. Or maybe one was on another JA haterz site. Whatever, at the time it compelled me to look into it, and if I recall, that is a true-to-life portrait of a royal (German? I can’t remember) with some genetic issue…the difference is that Donkey’s issues were mostly on the inside, but now they are working their way out.

      • The Ugly Duchess, who may have had Paget’s disease of the bone.

        And there is a connection to A Donkey’s costume, as the painting above was the inspiration for Tenniel’s Duchess illustrations in Alice in Wonderland

      • Art Historian lurker here. The painting is actually a satirical image (“A Grotesque Old Woman,” sometimes known as “The Ugly Duchess”) by a Flemish artist (Quentin Matsys); it currently hangs in the National Gallery in London. It wasn’t intended to be a specific representation of an individual (although not all that long ago there were rumors it was a depiction of a Habsburg with Paget’s disease). What is so fitting about your use of this image, though, is that there are multiple devices (the headdress, which would have been considered out of fashion at the time; the flower which has still not blossomed) in addition to the woman’s withered features, that the artist uses to show how wrapped up people (both royals and the public alike) had become with youthfulness and attracting suitors. JA shows us that apparently, at least for some, little has changed since the early 16th century.

        Oh, and Julia Allison is a donkey!!

        *goes back to lurking in the shadows*

        • I thought that the thesis was that the model had Paget’s disease of the bone, not that the person it is popularly (wrongly) assumed to depict had that disease?

          But yeah, it is incredibly topical for A Donkey. Beauty may be only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way into the ductless glands.

          • Ahh, I think you’re right! I’d always thought that the woman was a creation of Leonardo (who Matsys then copied), but apparently, according to this Guardian article (http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2008/oct/11/art-painting), it seems that Leonardo was the one who copied Matsys. Sounds like the artist found this poor woman and used her as the model for his painting. Fascinating stuff.

            You’re totally right about JA, too. All the filler, extensions, and (now-abandoned) personal trainers in the world can’t hide inner ugly. Meanwhile, you catladies are gorgeous, inside and out 😀

          • Thanks, NSB! I am always so excited when I remember something correctly, because I am generally pretty out of it. Yay! Now to find my car keys…

        • Art Historian?! Are you RRR’s friend who tried to buy the Donkey at auction?! Please say yes, please say yes!

    • I’m loving that we have art historian geeks like myself on RBNS/RBD. Can’t contribute to the dialogue (I’m more of a modernist, doing my MFA thesis on Maximalism) but will mention Saturday night I was a rather fine Warhol and my date was was an amazing Kahlo, replete with intricate day of dead face make up. Ha, slurry Warhol and Kahlo. No.

      • Dressing as Slutty Kahlo sounds like a great way to get either punched in the face or hugged by an angry feminist. I’m not sure which.

      • You’re working on Maximalism? That is way cool. Perhaps even cooler than your awesome-sounding Halloween costumes! Good luck with work and congrats.

        PS – Your friend who went as Frida Kahlo reminded me – a friend of mine dressed as zombie Trotsky one year, complete with an ice axe through the head!

        • I always want to go as Anne Frankenstein, but people tell me it is ‘forever too soon.’ 🙁

          • NSB — I’m glad I have your approval. I know that sounds sarcastic, but it isn’t. I like the silly play on words costumes (last year I went as a Panda-Wan — Jedi in panda make-up), but I have to admit that the Anne Frankenstein thing makes even me have to question my own ethics and taste.

            This coming from someone who was part of a costume titled ‘Dead Kennedy’ a few years ago, where my ex and I dressed as JFK and Jackie O. after the bullet hit. So my taste/sensitivity has long been in question.

            Seriously, though? Green Frankie skin with a school girl uniform and a diary? Kind of hilars.

      • [img]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150335640506078&set=at.10150185971551078.303736.532201077.532201077&type=1&ref=nf[/img]

  23. If Bravo had any say in this costume (like, if they had the ability to veto it or if they encouraged it), I’d say she’s absolutely going to be the butt of every joke on the show. It looks awful and pathetic in pictures; can you imagine it in HD?! I’m seriously disturbed by the idea of this night of hers being aired on TV.

    • Yeah I can totally see Bravo editing this to make her the “crazy lady in stripper boots and a tacky costume from the yandy.com clearance section” while everyone else wears creative, homemade costumes and makes fun of her behind her back.

  24. I wonder what the discussions have been with her family i.e. what they allow her to say about them. I can imagine her brother is asking that she tell everyone she’s an only child.

    The way she deludes herself, you know there will be major fallout with everyone in her life as the episodes air, because she will be caught telling her “version” of everything, meaning lies. In that respect, I also wonder what the deal is with the McCains. I wonder if they have concerns about her using Pancakes as a plotline… Or if they have already dealt with those concerns in a C+D addressed to Dear Heart.

    • PS. I’m pretty glad she’s forgotten she has a pet. I think Lilly has a nice life at the retirement home with her parents and their dog (coincidentally, another canine castoff of Julia). I hope she doesn’t bring her to CA.

      • The whole Langdon Affair was before I was really tuned in to the Donkey Show. Why did she reject Langdon, who seems adorable?

        • If I recall correctly, she received two pups as a gift from a boyfriend and did a shit job taking care of them and was living in a dorm that didn’t allow dogs at all so the ‘rents demanded she leave at least one with them. She choose to keep Lily.

          PS Momser also took custody of Lily when Donkey first moved to NY. Don’t know all the dets on that, but I do recall that Donkey was PISSED!

          • Her mother told her straight that she wasn’t responsible enough to have a dog, and took Lily, too. I don’t know how long the Boggers had her, but I think it was awhile.

      • Since the entertainment industry has strict guidelines in place specifically to prevent mistreatment & abuse of animals on set, I suspect that, for the duration of a film crew tracking a Donkey in heat, we have seen the last of Lilly in climes other than Chi-town.

    • She dated Jack McCain for a total of ten minutes, nine of which he was trying to figure out how to get rid of her, so there’s really not much material there for her to work with. (As Donkey heads out to LA, Meghan McCain has wisely chosen to move back to NYC.)

      • Oh, she’ll trot Jack McCain out for sure! She needs to look like she has had some success in love and is not a total loser so BELIEVE ME his pic will be on TV unless they need clearance for it (which I think they do?). Plus she loves the prestige of it.

        Please, this is the person who released a press release when they started and ended and talked about the “home they shared” FOR FOUR FUCKING DAYS!!!!!!

        • Oh, I can already see a whole montage of pics from their torrid affair. Lots of shots of them eating gluten filled desserts and pictures of her with him in uniform. But alas, he was the one that got away. “But he left the door open!”

          Technically, she owns those pictures, so I’m not sure they can prevent her from speaking about him or trotting out proof of their relationship. You know this is the reason she keeps detailed spreadsheets on all her exes. So creepy.

    • Funnily enough she left the first message on Pancakes’s wall the other day since the infamous “keep that helo in the air, babe” scandal. Funny timing; makes you wonder if it’s the first step to approach him about an appearance? Possibly from GUAM!!! She’d have to be out of her mind, however, if she thought even fleetingly that he might be interested. Oh, wait.

    • I like to think that Mrs. Nutterworth is underwriting this entire Bravo fiasco as a way to get back at a donkey by giving her just enough rope. By the time Miss Advised has concluded, absolutely no one will take Julia Allison seriously & that is sufficient damage control in regards to anything she tries to pass off as a legit connection to the McCain’s other than FlapJack porking a loon in between significant others.

  25. Why did she go with a costume that highlights her worst features which are her thighs?

    I can only imagine the contortions she will go through when she’s on camera next to Emily and Amy on that show.

      • Yeah, I think her thighs look fine when you cover up the strange bottom part of her legs. You can’t see the cinder-block calves and the bow legs when she wears boots.

          • They’re hideous. The horizontal stripes look weird. The clunky platform makes her legs look shorter rather than elongating them (as actual heels might).

            Also, they’re white vinyl go-go boots that she bought at a stripper store.

  26. “Can’t keep my, can’t keep my, oh I can’t keep my bow-legs straight (she can Donk it like no other)”

  27. The first picture really took me aback. Sometimes I’m still really shocked by what she did to her face. Do you think that’s permanent? Will she ever be able to have a normal (for her) face again? Not that she really seems to care, I’m just wondering.

    Picture 5 really screams “PLEASE BE MY TV BOYFRIEND!! I DON’T WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO ENDS UP ALONE!! I HAVE TO SHOW UP THOSE TINY CUTE BITCHES!!”

    Loose is wearing different pants in the fifth and last picture. I’m not sure why I noticed that. Did Donkey drag him out of bed to take pictures with her?

    • She used to be cute and normal seeming.

      Though i will say the veneers *are* looking better now.

      She really should have left well the fuck alone after her first 10,000.00$ outing. Whatever the sitch was in 2006, it was working. There has been a steady and noticeable decline since 2008 and it will likely never recover.

      She is a cautionary tale extraordinaire, that one.

      • If you go look at her blog right now, and see one of her Halloween shots almost right next to that crazily photo-shopped picture she uses as her profile shot — it’s like it’s two different people. They bear no resemblance to one another.

          • Can’t she make an honest comparison between those three pics & see what doesn’t work?

            Tiara? NO
            Death pallor due to ass-sitting? NO
            Vaseline on face? NO
            Hideous clunky jewelry? NO
            Red lipstick? NO
            Smug smirk? NO
            Sausage curls? NO

            @Donkey: Listen to your handlers, for a change. It can’t be any worse than the damage you wreak on your own.

          • Bwahaha! Death Pallor Due To Ass Sitting just might have to be my new RBD name!

        • Actually, I think you mean the second plastic surgeon. The first (between UI and Georgetown) gave her a really tweaked looking nose. The second (sometime before she graduated Georgetown) fixed that and built out her chin. I think that was her best look.

  28. Here’s something I’m wondering – if, at this point, she decided that she wanted to get off the horrible hellbeast merry-go-round, underwent extreme therapy, and emerged with nothing more than a desire to make an ordinary life for herself, would she be able to do so given the trail of donkey scat she’s left all around the Internet for the past 12 years?

    I’m not convinced her mental issues are fixable, for one, but putting that aside and assuming that they are, I think at this point it’d be extremely difficult for her to do anything “normal” with her life. She hasn’t had a job in years and her personal history, publicly available to anyone who might choose to search for her online, makes her a HUGE liability. I think as recently as last year, she could have buckled down, worked hard on her TMS column, gone with her lower profile Chicago social media expert schtick, and put some distance between herself and the hosebeast era.
    But now, I think she might really be past the point of no return, especially if anyone at all tunes in to the Bravo mess. We know she doesn’t have the self-discipline to freelance or create her own business doing ANYTHING, and even if she weren’t the very picture of cray, who would even hire this woman to make their coffee? Jupa Albertson Bongledong is actually unemployable at this point.

    Pettifogger’s out of strings to pull, and now he and Robin are destined to spend the rest of their lives flying this cackling loon endlessly around the country as she gets older and older. Spooky! Happy Halloween, Boggers.

    • It’d have to come from one of her friends who would be willing to stick their neck out and trust a Donkey. She’d also need a mentor she truly valued. She has few skills and she’d really need to buckle down and change how she approaches work, knowing that her learning curve is steep and that she won’t command the salary of others in her age group.

      There’s no doubt in my mind that she was OBOing her TMS column throughout the whole thing but it never, ever occurred to her that she could actually use her time at the column to improve her writing, make important connections, and to build some credibility and a fan base.

    • “We know she doesn’t have the self-discipline to freelance or create her own business doing ANYTHING”

      Wrong! She is an internet entrepreneur and founder of a tumblr blog. Her next step will probably be founding a Google + blog featuring many photographs of herself in wacky costumes.

    • I think if she lay low, went totally offline, closed up her FB privacy settings and stopped posting a million photos of herself so that even her FB friends came to despise her (and regularly read/tip off her “hate site,”) and spent two years in extensive therapy, she could do it. Her past would eventually be forgotten by those in her life, and she could simply point to it as a period in her time when she was so mentally ill that she didn’t know how much help she needed, and she got that help, and she is no longer that person.

      Fucking drug-addicted porn stars can rehabilitate themselves and forge happy lives for themselves; she could too. But she doesn’t want to do it, has no will power, no pride, no shame, no discipline, doesn’t truly believe she’s done anything wrong in her life, and is too in love with her own image to ever, ever stop posting pictures of herself.

    • She could change her name back to Julia Baugher, get a shitton of therapy, start doing volunteer work to re-establish her resume, and just get the fuck off everyone’s radar. I guarantee you that she could probably be completely forgotten in two or three years if she did that.

      The thing is, too, that she has the $$ resources to do all of that, unlike the vast majority of other people in the world. She could do a residential program like The Meadows or The Institute of Living and really work on her issues in a stress-free environment. She could get some career counseling and think of what jobs would be a good fit for her (actual) skills and temperament. She could work her contacts to get volunteer gigs at interesting places. And she’s still a rich white girl with a degree from a fancy private college and lots of connections, so she could probably wind up with a decent job.

      Look at all the people who have actually gotten off the radar after Internets notoriety—Jennifer Ringley of Jennicam, for instance. It’s possible. You just have to have an actual plan for your life other than PEOPLE WILL LOOK AT ME AND THE MAGIC WILL JUST HAPPEN

      Which is why it will never happen for A Donkey.

  29. What is up with the stripper boots? Why does she always have to wear stripper boots?

    Burning Man? Stripper boots.

    Halloween? Stripper boots with little red heart attached.

    Pope’s funeral? Black stripper boots.

    Jesus, Donkerina, drop the stripper boots. They are a major turnoff to anybody sane out there.

  30. I had to check out her blog to see if these photos were really posted over there… and her dialogue, once again, enrages me. I was actually nodding my head in agreement with some of the commenters above having some sort of sympathy for JA… then, justlikethat, she’s nasty. She says something along the lines of ‘That’s NY on New Year’s and Halloween, such a let down and cold blah blah blah, I’d rather be in comfy clothes snuggling blah blah blah.” She always has something nasty to say about New York. She said LaGuardia is a dump, NYers wear BORRRRING black ewwwwwww. I can’t stand when people move away from here and bash it. LaGuardia is a dump, don’t get me wrong, but even the nasty TSA agents and crappy ticketing agents would have your back if anything went down. I once saw a group of tourists from the south mocking a gay man in his 2os in the security line… they let him express pass through and practically made that hick family disrobe and gave them hell – in front of everyone! – by stalling them in the line. It was AWESOME!!! You know what? All of us New Yorkers in that line looked at each other in complete solidarity. We were so proud of our shitty LaGuardia!!! Our airports transfer you to the world. All day, anywhere on the globe. Airports that scare me are big, clean ones like Atlanta and Chicago. Full of judgmental hicks that think a pretty airport is a pretty city. No. We’re too busy doing things in life to look around at a glorified bus terminals for the skies. Soooo, that was a rant! Back to my issue at hand… WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GOES TO NYE IN NEW YORK!??! NO ONE I KNOW!!! Such a hick reaction on her part… So… pedestrian. So… suburban. I also think she places blame on New York or wherever because she’s projecting. ‘My Halloween didn’t suck because of MEMEME, it because NY is so anticlimactic!!’
    She missed huge opportunities to turn her reputation around in the 2008’s. She could have kept her contacts intact, apologized to those she offended, and been a media gal… in New York, the media capital of the world. The epicenter. Instead, her reaction to criticism and her being shunned was FUCK YOU I’M DOING TV NOW!! THAT’LL SHOW THEM!! She realizes every fashion week just how far NY has moved away from her, especially when PMc gets her name wrong, and the fashion crowd has no idea who she is. Good on her for moving to LA and trying something new, but it ain’t like New York. Reality people are ignored here, much like any celebrity. LA is full of shameless famewhores (sooo 2009, btw) and they aren’t as eager to ignore of befriend you. They are the type to throw a drink in your face and say ‘Is that the bitch that emailed her ex’s fiance about an overlap?!!’ Plus, LA is very very isolating – which will be a kind of new realm of manic. It’s like sunny depression.
    Thoughts on her ass-kissing to fame whores in LA to be on her show:

    Adriend: A poor choice on her part as her on sceen gay. Bravo’s audience in mainly women and gay men. Gay men do not enjoy Adriend, and will assume JA is just as bitchy, queeny, materialistic and immature as him.Um, err, ooops. Poor association.

    Leaving Chicago for LA: She was made media ‘famous’ (fuck you, Gawker!) in New York, so her anonymity in LA will be bizarre. She should have rented a small studio in NY and the show could have shown her ‘struggling to get back into the good graces of those she’s stepped on.’ That would be a fun show, no?!?? And good for her mental health.

    This is why I’m pretty sure Bravo has deemed her the Pathetisad. The other two girls have clear-cut well articulated and informed dating rituals (even if 1950 ridic). JA is more emotional, manic, dressy-uppy, fairy-tailyy, daddy issue-yy.

    One last thing. Gawker SUCKS. Has anyone kept up with the comments? Are these commenters fresh off the boat??! It’s infuriating. Their comments are so… just…so. So. Newbie Tool. And that Brian Moylan? When he berates the commenters ‘We use capitalization here’ ‘We’re beyond the word douche’. His delusions of grandeur run deep… He has no idea how to keep an audience. Also, his ‘I’m a cute top’. Oh, honey. No.

    • You know what I’m sick of? Self-absorbed New Yorkers thinking they are some how better than the rest of the country. But what do I know? I’m just some judgmental hick. We fucking hate loud mouthed obnoxious people.

      • I’m sorry, that was not my intention. Julia’s brain thinks this way, so I thought I’d highlight her idiocy. I’m calling her out, not you.

      • I think the issue was more that donkey was all too happy to play the part of “New Yorker” when she was living here, somewhat recognized, and had some semblance of a life. She LOOOOOVED New York and it was so magical! It was only when she couldn’t hack it, became a media circle (and general) pariah and dad$er refused to pay her rent that she decided Chicago was where she wanted to be and began talking shit about New York. That puff piece in whatever Chicago magazine she arranged a photo shoot for was laughable. She acted like she chose to live New York for Chicago. For additional evidence, just look at how she avoids staying in Chicago for more than like, 2 or 3 days if at all possible, flying around doing absolutely nothing. She was and is bitter as hell, and it shows.

        • ugh, lost a line there – *live in New York for years, decided she was over it, and wanted to trade it for Chicago.

          • Yes, thank you, LEFOOLIEH! I see my comment being somewhat abrasive, but as a New Yorker I probably catch those moments from her more than someone that doesn’t live here. Also? Your explanation is leaps and bounds more succinct and fabulous than mine!

          • OkayHTD,

            I get it. We all get super defensive when she chooses to act like she knows about things that are close and personal to us, especially because she invariably interprets or portrays them in the most idiotic, incorrect, or simplistic manner. She also will flip-script in a second of whatever thing she is attempting to adhere to momentarily inconveniences whatever little fantasy she is trying to convey.

            She seriously is like a character in a poorly written soap-opera. No depth, and telling not showing. “If I say I like manatees this week, everyone will know I am really invested in aquatic adventures and then that awesome rich marine biologist will fall madly in love with me!” Tweets: “Manatees are the most endlessly fascinating of the genus Trichechidae. They are also strict herbivores — like me! I never eat meat!”

            It is the laziest of character development, really, and completely inconsistent because she has no deeply held feelings or beliefs (except for her own superiority and entitlement), so she has to throw out dialogue to let everyone know who she ‘is’ at the moment.

      • Oh jesus. People are so quick on the trigger to poo poo on NYers liking NY. We live here, we like it, GTF over it. Whenever NYers talk about how great NY is, it’s like “Oh NYers think they are the center of the universe bla bla.” Yeah well last I checked NY WAS a center of the universe on like 10 different measures. Fact. It’s acknowledged to be one the world’s great cities. What’s wrong with admitting that?

        • There’s not one thing wrong with liking your location, but if you haven’t the emotional maturity of a turd and can’t talk about your preferences without shitting on everyone else, no one is required to sit around and take the abuse as though some Rah Rah We Just Love Our City! feigned innocence horse plop covers it. When you run your mouth, be prepared to deal sans defensive butthurt when the vomit splashes on people. Most people get that squared away in junior high.

        • Truth: I have lived in New York City for about 7 years and still hate this bullshit. Seriously. I hate it.

          …it is not the center of the universe. I mean, are you serious?

      • “We fucking hate loud mouthed obnoxious people.”

        Also way to perpetuate a stereotype against all NYers because you don’t like NYers calling others hicks.

        • Also — this is because so many NYers in this forum DO call anyone not from New York “hicks”… including those from Chicago. I get it, I get it… JA is from Chicago, thus the whole “hick” thing. But honestly? How fucking hick is it to call people from CHICAGO hick? Have you been to Chicago?!!?

          • I’m sure people from Chicago call Julie Albertson a “hick” because she isn’t from Chicago—she’s from Wilmette and is ultrawhitebreadsuburbia.

            Chicago is a magnificent city, but A Donkey just squatted in the Downtown Condo and only went to the same three places. I would say she was like a tourist, but most tourists are way more adventurous.

        • Sorry JFA — not upset with you. Just in general, this NYC vs The world attitude comes up over&over on RBD and it’s annoying.

      • Well, on one hand, yeah.

        On the other hand, A Donkey’s badmouthing of New York is clearly sour grapes. She’s like a bitter ex who can’t stop complaining about the person who dumped her.

        The problem isn’t that New York is some ineffable transcendent wonderfulness that A Donkey is too dim to grasp; the thing is that every mean thing she says about New York is because she’s fucking jealous of everyone who is able to make a life for themselves there.

        (I enjoyed living in New York, even though I prefer Boston. I can’t imagine badmouthing New York—but then, I chose to move elsewhere because there were things about my hometown I was missing, unlike A Donkey who was hustled home in failure after she got fired and Daddy stopped underwriting the Pink Palace.)

        A Donkey is such a narcissist that she can’t dig or not dig New York on its own terms. It’s all about HER and thus New York is a city of failure, because she is constantly failing whenever she’s there.

    • I hate New Yorkers that go straight to bashing Chicago. Chicago has done nothing to you and most Chicagoans have nothing to say about New York anyway.

      • No one said anything against Chicago! She’s a suburban girl, with hick sensibilities. That is all. SHE’S the one with a Chicago complex. And as far as a reality television show taping, Chicago isn’t exactly a mecca of extravagance and excess. Hence, it’s not the most entertaining lil town.

        • You could make a fabulous reality show in Chicago. She didn’t move because Chicago was boring—she moved in order to disguise the fact that she had no friends and lived in her parents’ shabby pied-a-terre.

        • We are Gotham City and we will be the new Metropolis. Only superheroes want to live here, not famewhoring donkeys.

      • Chicago is a marvelous city.

        The thing is that A Donkey has never really lived in Chicago. She spent her childhood seeing it as the magical city where expensive clothes come from/the scary city full of poors/the place where Daddy works, and then when she was frogmarched home she just camped out in the OMGDOWNTOWNCONDO and went to the same three places over and over.

        Which is what she does everywhere, of course; the Runyon Canyon-Earth Bar rut in LA, and even at Burning Man she seems to have spent most of her time in the RV and just ventured out for sightseeing/photo ops.

        The whole world for her is only the size of her own head.

        • There are sophisticated people EVERYWHERE, and I mean everywhere. She and her family are what they are, but geography has little to do with it beyond the fact that she clashes abrasively with every geographical location she encounters.

          • *applause*

            Spoken like a person of broad experience. Narrow-mindedness is not limited to the ‘burbs.

    • Eh, in my experience NYC is just another overcrowded place to pay through the nose to live like a rat. Excessive NY love comes across like a form of Stockholm Syndrome.

      For my pay-through-the-nose-to-live-like-a-rat money, I prefer London. For quality of life, I prefer Texas. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. You live where you want, I’ll live where I want, and each of us will think the other must be joking.

      • I have a large, afforeable apartment near a lovely, underused park. Not everyone in NYC lives “like a rat.” Sorry.

        • JFA, I’m so glad that I could provide you with yet another reason to be bitter today. It’s such a treat to witness all the sweetness and light you bring into the world. Truly, you are a thing of beauty and a joy forever. I cannot imagine why the boys don’t come arunnin’.

          I did not say you live like a rat. I said that my experience of NYC involved living like a rat for an enormous amount of money. My experience of London was similar, but more to my taste. In both instances, my accommodations were chosen for me. London and New York both have a higher cost of living than any city I have ever chosen to live in long term.

          I’m glad you like your apartment.

          • That is so mean. She is fragile*. She spends almost every waking hour of the day on GOMI or here dishing out the snark on real people and viciously trashing people, but don’t you dare snark on her made-up name and goofy avatar.

            Don’t you know she’s from a working class family and worked her way through an Ivy League and no one gave her any money? She didn’t get a $10,000 gift from her parents. And she has a pear shape and men love her. Except all the men who apparently don’t want to date her because of, well, apparent anger issues. But don’t say that, because if you do, you are mean, she will cry at work, she will swear and curse and call you names and then storm off. Then she’ll be back a day later to remind all of us here again that she worked her way through college and she is special and men love her ass.

            *aka every bit as unhinged as JA

          • What Sweetness and Light said.

            JFA, you are every bit as fucked up as Julia Allison is. It’s sad that as a casual observer on RBD and GOMI, I know that you’re bitter about hating your job (instead of being grateful that you have one after a long search), you’re bitter about other people whose parents gifted them with anything monetarily (which you would NEVER do, because you are just too good), you’re bitter about women who get degrees and yet choose to stay home to raise their kids, you’re bitter about your lack of second dates, you’re bitter about your acne, you’re bitter about people suggesting that poor diet can contribute to bad skin, you’re bitter that other people have the love you crave, you’re bitter that your life has NOT turned out the way you thought it would. Did I miss anything?

            I’m with you on the AFF dislike, but otherwise, you are one sick fuck. Get help.

          • Don’t JFA and Afghani have kind of a “thing” going on. I’ve often wondered what Afghani’s catwife would think of him chasing JFA all over RBD and GOMI making comments about “the bone zone”….Hahaha ew gross!

          • Hardly. She’s the reason I don’t go into the GOMI comments anymore. Her hatred is irrational and always ridiculously personal. She brings EVERY FUCKING THING back to herself and her own situation. She seems to take the mere existence of some of them as a slap in the face to her personally.

          • I know exactly what you mean. Not to mention, I’ve never seen a witty/funny comment from her, and I always see the same thing when it comes to Julia, “I can’t stand this bitch,” “I hate her so much,” “I just cannot with this bitch.” Like, give it a rest, JFA! Yes, you don’t like her, you hate her, can’t stand her, yet cannot stop yourself from talking about her and tracking her every move. We all know there’s a thin line between love and hate, no?

          • The only “thing” JFA and AFF have going on is the thing where she will take any chance to look/feel superior to someone else, and try to smack down his legal knowledge (which does look scant to non-existent; I do not believe he is a lawyer). He baits her continuously, and she can’t resist taking the bait because she needs to feel that she matters – a feeling she does not get from anything in her life outside of GOMI and RBD.

            Seriously, JFA: Just because other people have love and success, it doesn’t mean it came at YOUR expense. Jordan isn’t your happiness thief, and neither is her baby, so you really need to move past this all-consuming hatred and jealousy you have of EVERYONE. You even admitted to being jealous of JAB!

            Like I said, just get help, PLEASE. You won’t find it in the comments on these blogs or on OK Cupid.

          • I don’t know why this gets so intensely personal. I”ve been commenting on here since the site existed. I’m not gonna stop. Plenty of people on here annoy me, I obviously annoy other people. I ignore them. Perhaps you should try that too.

            I’m done with this thread. I’m not going anywhere, so feel free to pile on. I really don’t care.

          • No one wants you to leave, JFA. I won’t speak for others, but I’d love you to stay. Just get help and dial back the self-pity and misery and bitter cuntitude by about a thousand.

          • You know Angry, a really good tactic to use on people you think need help is to mercilessly attack them and the things that bother them. Jesus fuck, I’m not JA, I’m not a sociopath and I don’t treat people like shit. I lash out on people here sometimes but I wouldn’t use crap against people just to hurt their goddamn feelings.

            Whatever. You’ve spoken. I suck. Thanks. Point taken.

    • “Chicago isn’t exactly a mecca of extravagance and excess. Hence, it’s not the most entertaining lil town.”

      I agree and most Chicagoans would too.

      We are clean, we aren’t NY-OMG extravagant, we don’t like vulgar displays of excess, and we don’t allow the wealthy to dominate our city (the Lakeshore, the prettiest and potentially most expensive tracts of land in the City, is 100% publicly owned and can never be sold to private developers), we are a blue collar city, with blue collar parks, blue collar fun, run by a blue collar army known as the Daley Democratic Machine.

      “…And having answered so I turn once more to those who sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer and say to them:

      Come and show me another city with lifted head singing
      so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.
      Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on
      job, here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the
      little soft cities;

      Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning
      as a savage pitted against the wilderness,
      Bareheaded,
      Shoveling,
      Wrecking,
      Planning,
      Building, breaking, rebuilding,
      Under the smoke, dust all over his mouth, laughing with
      white teeth,
      Under the terrible burden of destiny laughing as a young
      man laughs,
      Laughing even as an ignorant fighter laughs who has
      never lost a battle,
      Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse.
      and under his ribs the heart of the people,
      Laughing!
      Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of
      Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be Hog
      Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with
      Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.”

      Chicago- by Carl Sandburg

      • GAH! I’m hating all of this Chicago in the ringer crap! It’s so off topic and the only reason I mentioned it in the first place was JAB’s “instead I was born in Chicago” bull shit. And didn’t Chicago Magazine or whatever put her on their cover? Dear idiot editors, she publicly mocks Chicago as her FB tag line. SHE dislikes Chicago, I find it to be… fine.

      • They’re both fabulous cities and the bickering about which one is better always mystifies me. They’re two totally different cities, just like D.C. and New York are or L.A. and New York are. It’s like the whole “America is the best country in the world” thing. Guess what? Danes and Turks think they’re living in the best country in the world, too. Every place has its assets and its liabilities. It’s not a competition.

  31. That is one sad display of a failed evening up there. Very similar to LA Halloween last year.

    I’m psyched for her to move to Marina Del Rey. At least she’s finally DOING SOMETHING. And we’ll get a glimpse of her fake job. Dying to know what this is. I’m guessing new love advice website. Also looking forward to finding out who the roommate is.

  32. here’s the thing:

    donkey knows she’s in a very very bad situation. bitch is so obsessed with her it-is-to-laugh image that she yelled at the NY TIMES that she’s a “relationship” columnist and not a “sex” columnist. SHE DEMANDED A RETRACTION OVER THIS.

    the producers or whoever are telling her she will be edited fine while tipping off her hate site to the contrary. these people are lying to her omniface, and she knows it! it’s there in print! i’m sure they’re saying “trust me” and by any stretch of logic she shouldn’t. she knows where this ride is going but is paralyzed by being unable to stop it.

    BUT!!!!!!!!!!

    If ANYONE feels sorry for her over this, keep this in mind: her entire appearance on this show is a fraud. She is not, nor has she EVER, been an advice columnist. she has no business being on this show, but has hustled her way through once again. she is literally living a lie the entire series, so is not in a position to complain when she is being lied to.

    KARMA, meet Donkey. Donkey, Karma. Enjoy!

    • I have to wonder why Jacy and JP are being tipped off. I mean, is this common, someone with juice to spill who can’t keep it in their sippy cup until the show airs?

      I truly love to think that we’re everywhere but something smells funny about insider tips from people connected with the show (as opposed to “friends” who’ve for years had to quietly-for-fear-of-recourse deal with her shenanigans)…like we’re in some way being conned or congratulated only to have OUR crazy pieces and parts aired for all to see when it’s all said and done.

      Or maybe I’m just paranoid.

      • I could totally see a “What did my hater site say about me today” confessional where things like “sausage fingers” are called out, in an effort to bring sympathy to our mentally slow and lovelorn donkey.

        • Now you’ve got me wondering if & how Bravo would implement a stunt donkey aka hoof double to play her part in that hypothetical episode … they can’t garner sympathy for her unless they camouflage her literal sausage snappers.

        • Especially since filming is just starting. Donkey reads this site constantly–how else did she find out she was publicly fired from TMS?–and she will stamp and bray if she sees that someone is leaking info that could compromise how she thinks she ought to be viewed.

          Or, shit, what if she’s strategically having someone leak it for reasons that only a donkey can understand?

        • I’m sure it’s just randoms she’s treated badly already. And really, who cares why the tips are coming, as long as they keep flowing. Once this show airs, she’s going to be the worst perpetrator of “Do you know who I AM!?” the world has ever seen.

        • All it takes is one person on the Bravo team to have read Gawker all those years ago during her peak to remember her and give her a re-Google to find us. It’s not hard. I think this site would be too hard to explain on TV in such a short period of time. I can see them doing an episode about it though, her “online haters”. But I see it more as a funny bit, like “Why do they call you Donkey?”.

  33. Holy shitballs this sad.com.

    The first photo was incredibly sad just at the eyes…then I scrolled down to the boots! Her leftover stripper hooves from Burning (my time to find a rich) Man.

    And hanging out with these losers like Louis Who? and whoever has his dick smashed up against her in the shiny pants.

    There’s nothing to feel sorry for hear. She’s an empty psychopath.

      • Donkey doesn’t eat three square bales a day, so in her mind, the first feed bag is always going to be ‘omg brunch’, no matter how far down the sun is in the western sky.

      • Or breakfast, brunch. Honey, it’s 10 a.m. on a weekday morning. You’re having fucking breakfast.

      • I’ve walked past there once and I remember it from my Lonely Planet guidebook. I guess the Hard Rock Cafe was booked.

      • It’s on her mental map because she got fingerbanged there by somedouche.

        She’s like an 80-year-old in her obsessive need to go to the same few places over and over.

    • isn’t Julie just trying to accidentally run into OMG Nick Denton?

      The last time I was at Balthazar, everyone was a 30something European tourist.

      • It’s still a power breakfast spot for the media crowd during breakfast, but breakfast only. Anything after 10AM is a tourist shitshow.

        • Yes, it’s still Breakfast Meeting Central for the publishing and broadcast media sets, which whatever. I hate breakfast meetings so fucking much. They are even worse than lunch meetings, which I also hate.

          If I’m having a meeting with you, I probably don’t like you and don’t really want to eat with you; I’d rather just come to your office and have your crappy K-Cup coffee or a bottle of water. Yes, so what if you’re paying; I’m a grownup who can afford to buy her own meals, thank you.

          • Also, now that I can’t eat pastry, there’s no fucking point to Balthazar for me because all the other food is crap.

            Not that I’ve been able to contemplate going there since finding out about the Donkey fingerbanging, anyway. SO TAINTED

          • See, to me “brunch” is very B and T. The cool people in pub and media tend to do super-early breakfast meetings to show how important they are (as if they don’t just go into the office and play Angry Birds until the West Coast wakes up anyway).

            That’s the other thing I hate about breakfast meetings, the “meeting some asshat at 7:00 a.m. so he can pretend to be Gordon Gekko Bruce Wasserstein Warren Buffett.”

          • Sorry, left out the scare quotes around “cool” there. The actually cool people in publishing and media don’t pull this bullshit.

  34. I finally get all the Courtney Stodden references … just saw a blurb about her getting kicked out of the pumpkin patch for looking like a 45-year-old sleaze ho & wearing white hooker boots after Labor Day.

    Wow, Donkey, you’re right when you say that people shouldn’t waste their time & (Dad$er’s) money on college … 17-year-old Courtney Stodden beat you to the realm of famewhore-on-a-household-name-basis by 23-ish years (really 24, by the time Miss Advised airs).

      • Courtney Stodden too, Jacy:

        [img]http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/194483/slide_194483_428998_large.jpg?1319731795[/img]
        *shudders*

      • Courtney was kicked out of the pumpkin patch for wearing white hooker boots and booty shorts and scaring the kids.

        Phoebe wasn’t kicked out of the pumpkin patch, even though Patton Oswalt thought she should be, for wearing a pirate hat and a bustier and presumably scaring the kids.

        • I also can’t believe that Courtney tried to horn in on PP’s annual “slutty pumpkin patch photoshoot” gig. PP does this every year since whenever—there’s probably a picture of her out there being slutty in the pumpkin patch with Teddy Roosevelt—and Courtney is just a copycat.

  35. I have to say that Christine Kelly is really beautiful, which makes me think that Julia has purposefully posted some unattractive photos of her in the past.

    • She often dresses in really unflattering clothes; I can’t imagine anyone taking a good photo of her in that black shmatte she wore to the Taylor Swift show, in which she really did look like A Donkey’s escort from the group home, or in that weird multi-layer tunic and flip-flops she wore to the Fashion Week thing she went to with A Donkey and A Greasy. It’s bizarre, because I agree that she’s very attractive.

        • Maybe she was heavier once and doesn’t know how to dress for her figure now? I think she has a lovely athletic bod.

          • No, you’re remembering correctly—she looked super dumpy at Taylor Swift and at Fashion Week, but she was wearing shapeless unflattering clothing at both (a weird sleeveless black sack for Taylor Swift and a bizarre multilayered tunic at Fashion Week).

            Then there was a photo of the two of them at a cocktail party in which Kelly was wearing a tailored little black dress in which she would have looked great if she hadn’t been wearing a stretched-out sports bra or the moral equivalent of same. It was a real scroll-up fug because her legs looked like a million dollars, and the dress was nicely fitted, and then OH HOLY CRAP WHY NOT WEAR A SUPPORTIVE BRA WITH THIS BODY-CON DRESS, CHRISTINE?

            IDGI. I think she’s one of the best-looking people in the Donkey circle, but she always dresses like the frumpy weird friend from a TV show. She has that “hot field hockey player” athletic bod and a really cute face, but she just seems to have no sense of style.

            Obviously I pay more attention to her than I should, but for some reason I find her appealing and want to rescue her from the Donk vortex. Her and Lil(l)y.

      • After seeing that Balthazar pic, I agree that she’s very pretty, & the odd thing is how much she now reminds me of a friend who’s all tomboy even into her 40’s (not lesbian, has had BF’s for as long as I’ve known her) & really sucks at wearing anything girly-girl.

  36. I can’t believe she posted the insipid “But that isn’t what ships are for!” on her twitter a-fucking-gain.

    • I can’t believe she didn’t think a PhDonk would point out that that quote is one she found on some knickknack in the home of the grandfather she OBOed on his deathbed. #whatanass #imeantme #timeforanewhobby

    • I have heard people read this at so many funerals of old men who were either boating enthusiasts or former Navy (or both) lately. I guess it’s better than the goddamned “Footsteps” thing, but not by much.

  37. Hey, look-it … a NS ‘reader’ whose name doesn’t start in a “K” & yet he misspells
    Marina del Ray’ just like she does …

    by Rick Laney
    You have been *amazing* and fabulous at everything you’ve ever done, so there’s no reason to expect this to be anything but awesome, and Marina del Ray is (almost) as breathtaking as you. I’m sure whatever comes next will be intelligent, insightful, humorous, unique, and fun. Go Julia!!

    • How can Julie seriously sit there and write that ridiculous shit to herself? She didn’t couple an extra adjective to breathtaking in an attempt to hide that she wrote it, but in every other way it sounds like something she would write. Bad donkey.

      • hate to burst your bubble, but Rick Laney is an actual person, some PR guy who has been sucking julia’s twitter teat for ages. formerly @riklan on twitter.

          • A “Top 100” PR firm.

            “Top 100”

            “TOP 100”

            I mean, if you’re going to brag, at least brag about something more worthwhile than being a VP at PR firm #99 on the O’Dwyer list.

            (Actually I am exaggerating—the only Tennessee PR firms on the O’Dwyer list come in at #55 and #63.)

            I have worked at or for three of the firms in the top 30, and they were full of douchebaggy imbeciles. I shudder to think what the bottom half of the list must be like.

        • Tell me he’s just sucking up so as to get a hoof in the door & be PR for Donkey’s career when Bravo shoots her out of the cannon?

        • That’s insane. He’s lost his entire mind. Someone take his keyboard away until he comes to his senses.

        • “….some PR guy who has been sucking julia’s twitter teat for ages. formerly @riklan on twitter.”

          Rick Laney…I knew I recognized that name. I spent 30 minutes reading his blog a year or so ago. He’s an asshole, a huge creepy asshole…exactly the kind of guy you’d expect would find Julia Allison appealing. His personality is gag-inducing, just like Donkey’s.

      • Wait a minute, he isn’t even with a Top 100 PR Firm! How could anyone lie about a distinction that meaningless!

        Wow, dude, you’re the VP at a firm that bills less than $500K per year, and you got to be on The CW touting some shitty amusement parks that people go to when they can’t get into Dollywood. LIVING LARGE, MY BROTHER.

    • Can’t we just let the royalty continue to fade into irrelevance nearly as fast as Our Donkey?

  38. These are great “after” pics of what happens when you burn all your bridges.

    NO. FRIENDS.

    You fucking earned it, Princess.

    • Yeah, breathtaking 180 from “I’m throwing a massive Halloween bash in NYC” to a)piggybacking on colleague’s book party to which 50 ppl show up, 1/25 of them from your jellyh8r site; and b) making the rounds of a couple empty apartments and a diner in your tragic Queen of Hearts costume.

  39. [img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-j_jwiibHHjE/Tq7U9P4M3DI/AAAAAAAAGp8/Q486buFv91w/w275/Troll-cat%255B1%255D.gif[/img]

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