Donk’s On A Greasy Offensive, AKA Tweets That Should Have Been Texts

 

Is Greasy going to be in the reality show or something? What the fuck?

Happy birthday to one of my favorite people in the world, Mister  @ TaylorGreason. My life is better because he is in it. 🙂

@zolmos – I LOVE that idea, Zelda!! Especially because I think@TaylorGreason looks like Mark Ruffalo! 🙂 It’s fun, funny & upbeat, right?

Oh Donk. Take that shit private. You’re embarrassing him, and yourself.

410 COMMENTS

  1. Hmm … Maybe mouth-breather has hung in there for just this reason … if he does the show, I’m assuming it’s to make some much-needed $$ during grad school?

      • For some reason, I assumed there was some compensation … what about Teej & the A-List, didn’t he get $omething, or was it just for bragging rights?

        • If there is, I think it would be chump change. I think he’s just got a Stage 5 clinger on his hands and he’s amused by it, and not quite sure how to extricate himself without it becoming a major drama.

          • True on all accounts. BUT … to a guy notorious for NOT tipping, chump change may be enough of a motivator in & of itself.

          • I’m betting serious fuck you money Rat-teeth Suckerberg is gonna be featured. She’s a notorious famehound, she’s not tied to Moneybags Douchebro Mark anymore and she’s probably trying to promote her “business.”

          • Ditto, JFA. Let’s see how Donkey treats OMG! Randi! now that the shoe is on the other hoof.

          • She probably will, because that NYT feature kind of made it clear that she is no longer someone who can grant easy access to Facebook and the extra detail that she was and her sister were fighting with their brother surely didn’t help her cause. She is nothing as a Zuckerberg sister generally speaking; she only had SOME power/access/clout when she was an active FB employee. Cue reality show scene of Randi doing karaoke at a bar, because (hint hint Broadway), she’s ready for her closeup! Julia will either keep her in her life because she’s the closest thing to a real friend she’s had EVER, or will dump her because the association isn’t as valuable anymore.

          • So much fuckery in that last comment. Initial comment just mentioned Randi, but I tossed in her sister after. Nothing to see here!

          • You know the Randi thing makes more and more sense…I bet JA used it as a selling point to get the reality show. “Facebooks sister” angle adds at least SOME modicum of appeal. Otherwise I’m head-scratching as to how fuck they thought anyone would be interested in this show.

            I’m still in awe over how Mark threw his own sister under the bus. No love lost there obviously.

        • If they’re paying anyone other than the cast members, it would be at most the daily SAG minimum, which is a couple of hundred dollars.

          And they’re probably not paying anyone other than the cast members.

          • Well, a lot of non-SAG shows use the SAG minimum as a baseline (TV talk shows, for instance), but yes, I agree—I bet they’re not paying anybody but the cast members.

  2. I can’t wait to look fondly upon all these old tweets when their “friendship” inevitably explodes.

    And O/T, This is for you, JP:
    [img]http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lta3m4heji1r4h7kbo1_500.png[/img]

      • The Spanish interrogation was so, so embarrassing. She tries so hard to have funny things to say when she’s on tv and it’s always so forced and awkward.

        Also red dress lady looks and sounds like a major biatch. I’m still getting over “Never call a guy!” Go back to the stone age, dumbass.

        • If i were editing the bravo show the “spanish interrogation” would definitely get a ton of mileage – including sniggering comments from the other 2 co-stars.

          Prime Grade A DUMB from our Georgetown grad.

          • Know many disagree, but I still have to give Julia a pass for this. Adding to a point Jacy made earlier, the whole time Julia’s brain is telling her “INSERT SOMETHING WITTY INSERT SOMETHING WITTY INSERT SOMETHING WITTY INSERT SOMETHING WITTY INSERT SOMETHING FUNNY.” If your brain’s always overheating, the wrong thing is going to come out. I’ll bet she knows / knew that “Spanish Interrogation” was wrong. If she didn’t, Amy didn’t either, because Amy seemed to like the joke.

            Perhaps I’m sympathetic because similarly stupid things have come out of my mouth when I’ve been nervous.

          • But she says/tweets/blogs dumb shit like that All. The. Time. It’s not a matter of her being nervous. It’s a matter of her being relentlessly stupid while thinking she’s the most amazeballz brilliant person in every room.

          • She is supposed to be a seasoned TeeVee ladee…..
            and she’s a SMART not-Random almost Ivy, with parents that STILL together.
            Cultural Fail, again.

  3. Looks like Taylor Greason has taken a page from the Julia Allison fake-your-bio playbook … his twitter still lists Virgin Green Fund, but as you can see, he’s not in the team lineup anymore: http://www.virgingreenfund.com/team

    Anyone want to wager just how soon it takes a braying donkey who never reads here to alert her boy that he’s getting called out over here?

    … 3 … 2 … 1 …

    • Meh- I’m not gonna assume he’s taking a Donk. Not everyone updates their twitter bios as life happens. Its not quite the same as deliberately clinging to a job title you haven’t held in years.

      • It’s only exactly the same as Donkey clinging to a syndicated columnist title that she hasn’t held in weeks, except that he’s been gone from Virgin Fund for even longer & apparently it was important enough to Virgin Fund that they’ve set their record straight.

        • True, Brayella, but didn’t he only start up a Twitter because JA encouraged it? I think like K_Swizz says he just doesn’t care enough about it to maintain it.

          • Is maintaining it the same thing as using it? Cuz he was tweeting about the price of beer in the last 24 hours, which was hardly for Donkey’s benefit, since we all know she doesn’t drink …

          • No – I’d say not. Greasy may use his Twitter but hasn’t thought about editing his profile.

            Reminds me of how Julia posts to her Nonsociety blog all the time yet – even with Lasagna and the army of interns – doesn’t bother to make sure the rest of the site is current (“content coming soon…” …don’t get me started on that…).

            I’m just skeptical of Greasy having a motive NOT to change the profile to “Stanford Engineering Grad Student” or whatever.

          • Yeah, okay, you win. In the process of disagreeing that it’s anything like Julia, you say that it reminds you of Julia. Can’t really argue w/ that, you got me there.

        • I have never once edited my Twitter profile from the first day I made my account.

          It’s a little different from being asked to submit a bio for a professional event and not updating it, imo.

  4. Not body snarking, genuine question: am I imagining things or do Julie’s hips look twice the size of the other girls?

    [img]http://i42.tinypic.com/28vq4ra.jpg[/img]

    Her hair looks pretty. Honestly, I think that’s the best it’s looked in years. That super dark/black color was way too severe for her. This is much softer and more flattering.

        • Old Jabberwonkey doesn’t stand a chance, because I am already intimidated by Amy just from the segment and pictures and I don’t even have to interact with her. Maybe she is perfectly sweet IRL, but she just looks kind of…severe, like she has fine tuned the art of Bitch Face to the point where she has trouble appearing as anything rather than (real) Bizness Woman’s Lunch Special/No Nonsense. I wouldn’t exactly call Emily whimsical either, but she somehow comes across a bit more personable.

          And then there’s Dumb as a Box of Teeth Donkey–for the sake of this upcoming shit show, I hope that she will be the oft maligned Pinky to Amy’s Brain and we will see shut down after delicious shut down. Whee!

          • She looks like a Stage 5 bitch. I am just disappointed that they aren’t all in the same city and Donk would have to have a ton of face time with this witch, because you know they’d eventually come to despise one another and Amy doesn’t strike me as the type who would be gentle with Donkey.

    • Not a fair comparison, given the angles at which the other two are standing.

      She looks nice here — that hair color is the only flattering one I’ve seen on her — now, if she’d forever lose the freaking pelts & go w/ a stylish cut instead.

    • She has a huge ass. There’s nothing wrong with that and I’m not body snarking. I have a very athletic body (shaped like a boy) and I’ve always been envious of her curves. When she wears those super tight body con dresses she always looks curvy and hot, if not a bit trashy/desperate. It’s just sad she feels like she needs to hide her figure with poofy skirts and tutus when she could just go the mature route and flatter her features, instead of hiding them.

      • It’s a wide ass AND short, stumpy midget legs. That’s why she looks so hippy. It’s also why she is OMG heels 24/7.

      • Yeah her ass is way less impressive than I had previously thought. She is rocking the small waist/ample hips thing but her ass is none too impressive.

      • It looks waaay out of proportion to her top half. Like her top and bottom halves are from very different people.

      • The hair looking better than usual probably has everything to do with her getting a fresh set of pelts the other day. Give it a few days under her care and she’ll mess them up.

        • The sausage curls will soon return because apparently that’s the only way she knows how to do her own hair. That or the bobby-pin mullet.

          • I’m still having PTSD flashbacks to that Tresemme video with the sausage-curling in progress. Cannot un-see.

      • Even w/ over-the-knee boots, you can see her potato knees?

        I know, I know, It’s like her inner ugly; once you know what’s under the fake exterior, you can’t un-see that either …

    • The other two must be elfin because JA isn’t that tall, is wearing flat boots (which I like, but not with that dress AT ALL) and she’s towering over them in their stiletto heels.

    • I don’t understand her outfit at all. The other two look like they’re going out into warm weather and she looks like she’s transitioning her casual summer dress for cool fall weather by wearing those boots. Is she wearing stockings under those boots?

        • Those are the donkey version of Kate Middleton nude stockings. So they’re cheerleading/dance team/Hooters “weird sheen” tights, naturally.

    • She is oddly shaped but those other two are stick insects. Agree on the hair. That black was dreadful and this is not orange the way the other color was. Still, though, the upkeep. A whole head of dye every six weeks or so? No thanks.

      • She has nothing better to do though, remember that. Also with brown you can get away with just doing the roots and pulling it through at the end. I actually love that color. I stick to doing brown myself with a box color because I am cheap/lazy.

    • Is it just me, or did anyone else have to stop and count the number of fingers on her hand at that other chick’s waist? For a second there I thought she had already done the work for me.

    • Is that a henley style dress? If so, that’s a fail. But I loves the hair color; not that odd pouf/poof in the front.

    • That dress is horribly unflattering on her, yeah. She’s constantly choosing these skater shapes and rah-rah skirts that just make her look even more bottom-heavy than she is.

      But heavens, those other two ladies are short! I want to see Aisha Tyler interviewing the three of them (or just spitting on their heads for a while, at least Amy’s and Donkerina’s, because I am Team Emily).

  5. Dear Donkey,

    Greasy would like his balls back for his birthday.

  6. Yeah um, he does not look like Mark Ruffalo. At all.

    I do like her boots though, god I wish I had gone to school for a career doing Nothing so I could afford new boots all the time!

  7. I only have the built-in paint app, so this is crappy, and maybe it’s just a matter of personal taste, but I think she looks better with shorter hair and something tells me her hairdresser would agree that a trim of 4-6″ would be more flattering. Otherwise, def good choice on the color.

    [img]http://i41.tinypic.com/23h6jcp.png[/img]

    • IMHO, she’s tiny with great curves and her hair is way out of proportion to her size. And when she foregoes those awful pleated minis and nasty full-shirts and wears fitted, curve hugging dresses, pencil shirts, jeans, etc … (and throws away those gd hooker boots — both fluffy and over the knee), she can look just fine.
      Remembering tho, that kind of beauty is only skin deep, regardless.
      (Next step: Therapist.)

    • In the last year or two, Chescaleigh (sp?) posted a rendition of Doney w/ a bob haircut & it was such an improvement. I think she even sent it to Donkey & that Donkey seemingly agreed it might be a future consideration … what I wonder now / still is why the hell she remains so damn committed to the whorendous pelts, what is she scared of? It’s not like she couldn’t paste on new pelts & resurrect the bobby pin mullet of the last 20 years if she absolutely hated it.

      • She is entirely too committed to the “boys like long hair” as Jacy said above. Remember this is the same donkey that referred to Mare Mare’s haircut as dyke-y despite the fact that the cut resulted in MM looking better than she ever had (those extensions she kept getting were just… no).

        • The more I look at that shorter version above, the more I like it. Besides giving a carefree & youthful appearance, it doesn’t drag down & elongate her already equine-ish head. When your eyes aren’t drawn in horror to sausage curls, you can overlook the scary rebar clavicle & you notice her eyes instead.

          CUT THAT SHIT OFF, DONKEY!

        • Looking back on it now, I think donkey may actually have been jealous that Mare took a risk and came out looking better with the short cut. Her biggest hair risk was dyeing her hair, and that was disastrous twice (the carrot top red, the jet black); now her hair is fine but her face is unfortunately not.

      • Once upon a time, when I was committed to the Rapunzel look, my therapist suggested that I wouldn’t be grown up until I cut my hair. I was mightily pissed at the time. Looking back, of course, I can see that she was right.

    • That long bob you mocked up would be seriously cute on her. The pelts seem too heavy, and shorter hair would be much more flattering.

      Then again, huscat married me even despite the fact that I have short hair, so what do I know?

      • I’m one of the boys, and know what I think would look best on Donkey? Shoulder-length hair in her natural fucking color (unless she really is getting these dye jobs because she’s prematurely graying).

  8. didn’t someone mention that Julie’s face bloat may be from purge? E/D?
    It’s worrisome.

    • Apparently the consensus here is that she was just lying about that, though I agree with you.

      Whether she’s purging or not (I BET SHE IS) she is almost certainly abusing laxatives as ever.

        • Yep. Remember when she was at the assram, and she was all “Oh, this ashram food is killing me! I really need some Butt Print Cleanse!” LAXATIVE ABUSE AHOY

  9. I agree that Greasy looks in no way like Mark Ruffalo – he reminds me more of Joe Gorga. [img]http://cdn.cnwimg.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/joe-Gorga-net-worth.jpg[/img]

    • Donkey reminds me of Teresa, especially at the reunion when she refused to take blame for ANYTHING SHE DID. So this totally fits.

      • It pains me to say this, because I think Jacqueline is quite pretty, but with all of Donkey’s fillers, her face shape reminds me of Jacqueline’s when she was heavily pregnant!

      • Yes. She combines the worst of Caroline (the prudish, know-it-all who wrongly believes she has the perfect family) with Teresa’s tacky cray-cray.

        • Totally! I didn’t even think of the prudish characteristics of Caroline. Hit the nail on the head.

  10. Don’t know if this was discussed previously, but seems to me that it was Julie Bogger that might have actually requested to bail out of the TMS contract because of the Bravo opportunity of her lifetime to be rich, popular and wanted by all the fat wallets in Silicon Valley.

    As per the NBC clip, she is now being portrayed as a “relationship columnist” but her most recent errand-running function was that of “social media” columnist. Obviously a glaring inconsistency between both prestigious writing jobs. And since no one in this bib blue marble of 7 billion gave a flying fuck about her TMS column, she just dropped it to become a full time “relationship columnist”. We all know that she writes this column only for her personal pink journal which she hides under her pottery barn bed. But this way, Bravo won’t befuddle the 6 lonely desperate obese housewives from Peoria that will watch 3 sexually frustrated middle-aged women blabber on about why they can’t keep their boyfriends.

    • To me, it’s such a bullshit title. This is how they introduced them: Emily of “Sex with Emily,” Amy of whatever the name of her company is, and Julia Allison, relationship columnist. Just relationship columnist. For WHO? What publication? I don’t know why they would cast her when she has no real columnist job at the moment.

      • They need her as the foil, she’s obviously “the blogger” (which would explain all her nonsense relationship-themed tweets, fb statuses, etc. etc.) and nobody else is desperate enough to embarrass themselves on TV. She still hasn’t grasped that the point of the show will be to show them off (at least bitter Amy and nutso donkey, if the Today show is any indication) as losers because she is completely blinded by the prospect of “fame” and the sort of paycheck that has eluded her for awhile now. I think she’s angling that her working with Bravo will help her get freelance gigs writing relationship pieces.

          • They COULD read from her past columns and show how she hasn’t followed her own advice, but I’d sooner see them lining up some freelance gigs so it fits the premise. I think they’re just changing it up.

            She is definitely the blogger, but now she is being shifted into “relationship columnist”, maybe? Radio personality who talks about sex/relationships, matchmaker, freelance relationship columnist/blogger – blogger actually works better because they wouldn’t have to find her work, but it’s pretty clear she doesn’t even do THAT as a job, so now they may have to legitimize that she actually has something to do. It might be amusing to see step-by-step donkey being given freelance gigs due to Bravo and handing things in near deadline or having her contract go without renewal.

      • That’s why I think some cat ladies yesterday were correct — NBC/Bravo is going to find a relationship column for her somehow, somewhere, otherwise the whole premise of the show is bogus.

        I look forward to reading the 1950s-era advice that she herself doesn’t follow. Don’t sleep with a guy til after 11 dates? Oh please. She’s a lot more promiscuous, a lot faster, than she lets on publicly. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

        • On the comments section of her ns blog someone asked if the today chryon meant she was soon to get a relationship column. She said yes.

          LBS 19 hours ago
          So noticed on the Today Show that you were listed as a relationship columnist. Since leaving Social Studies does that mean we can expect a new relationship column soon?!
          1 person liked this. Like Reply

          juliaallison 18 hours ago in reply to LBS
          😉 yes

        • My guess is that she’ll start uploading advice columns answering questions from “readers” on Ye Olde Nonsocietie and the show will show her uploading these things and she’ll spend a lot of time smacking her lips and fake-thinking while rolling her eyes as she imparts some garbled version of this advice to the cameras in interview segments that will be used to frame whatever her storyline might be that week, either straightforwardly or (more probably) ironically.

          [shot of her clacking away at a computer]

          [talking head interview to the camera, in which she looks like Madame] “So Kathleen wrote in asking, ‘How soon is too soon to [air quotes] “put out” , if I really like a guy?'” [furrowed brow] Well, I think that even though we live in a [air quotes] “liberated age,” Kathleen, there’s value in maintaining an air of mystery and femininini..feminit….female. [self-satisfied smirk] Call me old-fashionista if you want, that’s just how I was raised! [bray]

          [smash cut to her in her bedroom in an unflattering circle skirt and a surgical mask, blasting grease off her pink vinyl sheets with a fire hose]

        • you know how all Bravo people have their own blogs on the show’s website? Maybe she’s going to blog there and considers that her “column”?

  11. When she says “my life is better because he is in it”, is the talking about her clam dungeon of despair?

  12. Thought I would helpfully point out that it looks like Pancakes has officially moved to Guam, and he and his cute and tiny gf are still together. Kinda pokes holes in Julie’s case (errr…. I mean LIE), no?

    • OOOH! Do you have facebook access? Does she go visit him, wearing Navy-wife-in-training-appropriate fit-and-flare tiny/cute dresses to rally the troops? Don’t ruin their privacy – just details!

  13. question for twitter gurus

    I search “@juliaallison” and find nothing from Joy Engel’s exchange with Veronica about JA. I just find Treseme drivel and some old dudes trying to feel her up.

    yet they exist:

    joyengel:
    @JuliaAllison The advice was such anti-feminist nonsense! I’m disappointed you’re using your platform to spread outdated patriarchal norms
    -and-
    Like, I’m not usually a member of the @juliaallison hate squad, but that Today Show segment today filled me with more rage than I can handle

    Why?

    • The default for Twitter search is to give you “Top” tweets (this shows up at the upper left, right before you see all the Tweets)…if you click the arrow and go down to “All,” you see everything 🙂

    • You can do a search to eliminate all the Tresemme fog. “@juliaallison” -$500 or -Tresemme would probably work. (I.e., the part you want in quotes, the stuff you don’t want after a minus sign.)

      • understood. I wasn’t at first looking to eliminiate, but I did want to figure out why I wasn’t seeing them all

        as per Stall-a-palooza above, how can a conversation involving @Veronica, who has 1.6M followers, not be “top” over fucking Tresemememmememe shit??????????????????

        twitter blows

  14. Sorry if this was already said here, but clearly this all ladders up to angling for the producers to edit “Will they? Won’t they? When will these two people finally get TOGETHER!!!??” tension into her show.

  15. Jacy and JP, just curious, are your comments about greasy having banged her a few times and thinking she’s batshit crazy, speculation or coming from tipsters?

  16. Slightly OT

    Miss Advised is basically going to be a huge push for that guy that wrote He’s Just Not That Into You. The whole topic, from a man’s point of view, has been covered. And HIGHLY publicized with the publishing of that book. Now there are three spinsters running around as ‘experts’ on Bravo claiming that by following certain rules you will land a man… or not? Cable reality television, and Bravo in particular, are not in the business of making people look good. That these three (wayyy old enough to know better) ladies can’t see the writing on the wall just show’s you how stupid they actually are… and BAM! that’s why you don’t have a man! You’re stupid! Looking at the stills from the Today Show appearance, I just see bitter, older, weathered looking, way-too-late in life reality stars. Guys don’t exactly flock to that image/lifestyle. And not just their expiration dates, their delusions and fatal flaws. These are not the women men are looking for. The exact opposite, actually.

    • As a 20 year Manhattan vet, I can tell you that you are soooo correct. Maybe YOU should be on Bravo dispensing Advise-d. These old hags with the leather-y necks really have passed their expiration date. They know it, and they are incredibly bitter every time they see a guy stroll-by with a #tiny-n-cute Asian chick. From Uptown (Hiya Rupert!) to Downtown (S’up, Zuck!) they have been replaced with smarter, NICER, and wife-ier babes.
      *I know this sounds racist, but just look around—esp. fancy events like Armory Show, MoMa openings, etc. Rich Dude with Asian Babe.

    • Maybe the premise of the show is that they’re fuck ups and are being mocked, not held up for emulation?

      • That does seem to be the premise of the show, yeah.

        Also, Bravo has had a lot of success with cray ladies in their late thirties and up, cf. the Real Housewives of wherever.

    • Phoebe Price is a cray joke, but I still think she does it better than JABberballz (she wore her Wonder Woman tiara rightside up, for example).

      I really want the two of them to get into a catfight now that Donkerina is in LA. Or better yet, have Angelyne give them both lessons in how to be famous for wanting to be famous and yet keep your sense of humor.

      • That guy’s twitter stream is pretty funny. She’s obvs taking her cue from that bizarre sexed-up teenager chick, which is really very sad. I guess she was hoping to get kicked out by “jealous mothers” and generate some news buzz. Fail.
        What is wrong with this world?!! It is just crawling with all these insane attention whores.
        Like I said about JABa in an earlier stream, symptomatic of pure laziness. Looking for big bucks for doing nothing except being notorious in the most forced, calculated, and appallingly fake/superficial manner imaginable. Sad sad sad.

    • oh Jaysus! What is wrong with her FACE??? (and her MIND???)

      [img]http://dlisted.com/files/imagecache/photo-preview/files/galleries/phoebe_price_43_wenn3579782.jpg[/img]

        • “At the age of 19 she bought her first corporations which were in fashion and entertainment. She later became an international actress and model in Capetown, S.A Athens, Greece and Milan, Italy. After leaving Milan she came to Los Angeles and has studied acting with the top coaches to perfect her skills.”

          Sounds like…

          “Julia Allison is an internationally syndicated columnist, tv
          personality, Internet entrepreneur” & “Since 2005, her popular and controversial column has been published in newspaper AM New York and Time Out New York magazine.”

  17. O/T She’s now whining on FB that she can’t find a dress that goes with red hair. Bitch plz. (Cue avalanche of “Julia, you look great in everything.” comments, which is exactly the point.)

    • It’s not even red. Jeez, she is an idiot. And PS, that’s exactly what she’s doing.

      “CROWD SOURCING FOR LOVE: The Julia Allison Story”

    • Her hair is not red. But even if it were, as a natural redhead I will tell you that red hair goes with anything. I happen to look awesome in orange no matter how many people tell me that’s not possible. Certain colors might not work with a particular redhead’s SKIN TONE (because shockingly we are not all the same) but that is true of almost EVERYONE no matter what color their hair is. Julia is just being a drama queen, as usual.

      • I’m a natural redhead too, SG. And when you read this, you’ll want to cut a bitch (figuratively speaking, of course).

        [img]http://i44.tinypic.com/erkh3r.png[/img]

        • Like really, dumbass? You have to match your dress and hair colors? Isn’t it more about skin tone? Jesus. She did this last time she went red. Fucking shut up. If this was an issue for you the last time you dyed your stupid ass plastic hair, why’d you do it again? Wear whatever color you fucking want.

  18. Going to give in to shame and go to the Museum of Sex esta noche. Will be wearing a peacock headband if any catpeeps want to say “Donk”. I’m a long-time reader/poster, I just like to change my nom de guerre 😉

  19. Does anyone else think this is staging? As in, “We want you to play the part of a hard and fast “The Rules” girl in order to show that it’s dated and doesn’t work. Then, we’ll make you over, make over your cupcake apt, send you to a therapist and ‘cure’ you. That’s when you’ll meet guys. We have some set up for it.” Cause that seems a whole hell of a lot more realistic than these pinheads really thinking this junk they’re peddling is true. Also, is it possible they picked these three, well, two in particular, especially Julie, because they’re good “before” candidates for a transformation dating show ala What Not To Wear, like a How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, the dyslexic version?

    • But I’m pretty sure that Donkerina really thinks this shit is true. The The Rules authors definitely thought this shit was true.

      It’s a thin line between “shill” and “idiot” but Our Donkey manages to straddle it with her bow legs pretty consistently.

    • Yes, I used to wear pink even when I had Manic Panic Pillarbox Red hair. She is such a fucking fuck fuck fuck.

    • My sister is a natural redhead with fair skin and can wear any color/thing effortlessly. She doesn’t wear a lot of showy pink because she’s a grown professional woman and urbane city mom now – but she rocked the hell out of it in the late eighties in high school. She also has good taste and is instinctively chic even when dressed down – unlike Julia – so that helps.

    • ….. but Donkey has laws about these things! Laws which she must bray at us as if they were handed down by the 1/4 jewish god of the Bunnyhooker church.

  20. I walked in moments after JA, she was loud and the photographers were clicking away. Amy looks way better, and softer, in person.

    • Oh MY GOD you are live-blogging this! I DIE. You deserve the pulitzer prize in in investigative reporting. You are my hero.

      • Man, this is awesome. Like when Real World filmed in Seattle and the denizens were so appalled they intentionally did things to make the footage unusable, or at least reflect their disgust at the whole process. That was my first venture into online snark land on the long defunct “Real World Sucks” board.

        /me gets misty eyed.

        • Okay, now I’m LMAO at the idea of strategically placed cat products mysteriously appearing in this episode …

          • Ugh. If I had gone I could have worn my knitted cat sweater! I’d have to keep it under a jacket so she couldn’t see it (and get me kicked out), then sneak behind her and covertly ‘stretch’/put my hands in my pocket.

          • We’ll just have to cross our paws & hope that Agent Peacock &/or Agent Inside stealthily arch their back & rub up against a pole or start preening or something cat-like ….

      • OMG i will pay FU pennies to the catlady who holds up a discreet sign that says ‘DONK’ on it, and gets it filmed!

  21. We are diffdrent. Inside needs to find me and my headband!! This place is empty. I am the only brown person here. Should be easy to find.

      • Negative. I don’t think she looked at me once. Not even when she was purposefully/stridently walking towards…well, I’m not sure to what, but she was on a mission.

        • I guess whatever mission that was trumped her usual mission to build her “diversity collection” of photos of strangers for Facebook!

  22. Okay, Agent Peacock and Agent Inside: when you make contact, notify the boffins at Catlady Central. CODE PINK ALERT

  23. Her BFF Courtney Friel has arrived, but the best part was Donker walking up to a Panda exhibit clearly marked “Do not touch” and immediately reaching out and touching it. Rules are for other people. Unless it’s the do-not-call “a boy” rule. (Which she doesn’t follow either, but in theory…)

    • That’s so Donkey!

      Is anyone actually buying Emily’s book? Is there food? Are there drinks? What is A Donkey wearing?

        • No way. Although my boobs were trying to escape my top. I was very covered up. My goodies are not meant for the gen pop to see. Also, I’m too old for that kind of desperate shit.

      • The book was being sold downstairs, so we have no intel. There was some cheese and wine….JA was wearing a bizness lady dress, but it was kind of tight and her nude pumps. I don’t feel bad about taking her photo, but I feel bad about uploading it….So, maybe once she posts photos from the event, I won’t feel so stalkerish in posting mine, it’s just from the butt down….

    • Updates updates! What is going on??? Are people actually there and this is a *thing* or are we the only ones who care?

      • We are the only ones who care. It just seemed like their friends were there. Well, 3 of JA’s friends at least. I mean 50 people, maybe less, I should have counted, but I was busy refreshing, chatting w/ Inside and posting. But, there was the camera crew and make up people….soooooooo, maybe 20-25 real peeps and the rest was staff and rando’s, like myself.

  24. Jaba is wearing her “serious listening” face, while Emily is making people’s ears bleed with her piercing shrieks.

  25. Seen any interesting exhibits?
    [img]http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium/museum-cat-jimmie-trotter.jpg[/img]

  26. Agent Inside and Agent Peacock – I APPLAUD YOU! This is the most awesome thing that’s happened here recently, and that’s saying something! It’s right up there with Redacted’s and Redacted’s Mom’s visits to here 🙂

    • What is her Sexy Lady Costume this evening, and how does it differ from most of the dumb shit she wears?

      • Ask her where she got it! You can bet your sweet ass she’ll be returning it tomorrow, saying that when she got home w/ it ‘it just wasn’t what I was looking for’

      • No different, but the hair is glorious, sans the pelts. She looks way better in person. Strange.

    • Fantastic. So now there are some people nearly as classless and even more gullible than the Donk.

    • Kitty KISSes for Agents Peackock & Inside on Mission Accomplished! 🙂
      [img]http://tinyurl.com/3kc6rrw[/img]

  27. It was completely fake. They planted dudes for all the women to meet. Emily looks MUCH worse in person. She looks like a way too toned 40 year old, way too much whore paint . . . and you know how when someone’s really tightly wound, they have that look. If she grabbed my shoulder, I’d be scared. She also has literally, the most piercing, annoying voice I’ve ever heard.

    Amy looks much better in person. She came in with three Barbie dolls and they were all wearing identical tight skirts cut to the vagina, but in different colors. It looked like Gem and the motherfucking holograms.

    Donk was much taller in person. With heels, probably 5’8″. Was not being loud, not being abrasive, was not being herself, I guess!

    And finally, Emily Morse gave a speech about the book, and was kind enough to credit her coauthor and have her say something. But the production people made the coauthor leave the shot and have Emily say the speech again. For obvious reasons. To cut the coauthor out.

    If you guys think Donk is bad, wait til you get a load of Emily Morse.

    Donk was wearing a tight, either beige or green miniskirt—she was fine. Her face didn’t look that bad. Better than I expected by every single standard. Sorry, girls!

      • Emily was giving her speech about the book and all the sexy sex secrets Inside (ha)…and someone, not JA, some dude, barked out something like tell us about finger banging…..it was very odd…maybe I was the only one who got the joke. I got there around 6:30 and I swear they were right in front of me being photographed like they were the next big thing…Then JA was in the main area where we had to sign releases and stuff. I rode up in the elevator w/ one of them. It was like Christmas mixed w/ the Sun. I was giddy, but also didn’t want to look directly at her; lest she figure out I was a catlady.

        • it wasn’t a joke, it was a reference to the content of the book. it was one of the production crew being “irreverent”.

    • Thank you both Peacock and Inside! That was exciting- kept hitting refresh! Great job, cat-agents of mystery. 🙂

    • That was fun to catch up on. Thanks for posting it! I would’ve considered joining you guys if I knew. Kind of bummed donkey didn’t look as bad in person since I expected her to look like muppet face in real life.

    • So fewer than 50 people showed up? It is to LOL.

      I think you deserve some kind of medal for this dangerous and difficult mission. The Braying Donkey (with Orangey Tiara) or something.

      • So each ‘host’ (3 re-re’s + co-author) could only drum up about a dozen peeps per? No BFF’s of the Donk, & she lived there for how long? The indignation, it is to bray ….

    • Anyone who’s had to work with the obnoxious, braying Waxman would have heartily enjoyed that snub. I’ll be passing this on.

  28. You catpeeps bring the funny daily, just doing my part. It was exciting to meet a fellow peep in person. It was my catlady coming out.

          • Rip flower. Never forget…..

            [img]http://emol.org/tv/programs/meerkatmanor/images/MEERKAT%20MANOR%203_156_m.jpg[/img]

          • amazing show, no joke. very, very well done. those animals were perfect for such a series… they tried to replicate it with Lemur Kingdom the next year (before Animal Planet went to shit as a network) and could not do it, despite having even better technology.

          • that series was a collaboration between the BBC and a few universities, I think. much better show than you’ll see on animal planet these days, which is sad. animal planet today is mostly sensationalist bullshit.

          • I was hooked before I ever saw it (my sister has a knack for retelling in awesome detail about the personalities you get to know, etc) — I think this series was the 1st thing I ordered from NetFlix way back when & even after hearing / seeing it those times, I could do it all over again.

            I can’t remember his name, but the brother of the patriarch, he really looked like the weasly little bastard that he was, eh?

          • i think the patriarch’s brother tried to mate with Flower and then was cast out of the clan and became a “roving male”.

            the low point of the series was probably when flower’s sister got pregnant and had a litter and then was cast ouf of the clan (only the dominant female is allowed to have children, it seems)

          • I definitely need to watch it again; I thought he was already an outcast & that he managed to woo Flower anyway & that was just one of his many crimes. Good thing I’ve forgotten; it’ll be new all over again.

  29. For Agents Peacock and Inside!

    [img]http://i41.tinypic.com/r9ip1s.jpg[/img]

    For Bravery in the Face of Braying

    • well, it’s almost 2AM & I can’t sleep. stupid internet is out and I’m trying to catch up on my iPhone. which is slow as hell since my iPhone got wet and I’m using cathus’ old iPhone 3.

      anywaysssss…am SO appreciating the brave cat ladies who attended the event tonight to get us some intel and pix!!

      Julie is the one on the far right? once again, her hair looks pretty good, and her legs look much thinner than they usually do. so good for her. but Holy Amazeballs: that booty! I must say, I’m impressed. she’s always covering it up, but I gotta give her props, that looks like a fine ass.

      see julie? we’re not ‘haters’ or ‘stalkers’. we just call it like we see it it. just be forewarned, if you let your inner bitch out while the cameras are rolling? you are going to WISH it was just us cat ladies down here in the basement calling you out on your b.s.

    • Aww, how sad for Donkey that one of the few times she was getting paid genuine compliments here, it turns out to not even be her … Oh wait, she is the elitist bitch who couldn’t even be bothered to make eye contact w/ you, so scratch that ‘aww’ & make it a ‘tee hee haw’!

      • Well, she said so. But she could have just been lying. It was because she wasn’t sleeping and looks rough.

        • I missed where she said it, is all. Where was that? I kind of remember the ‘insomnia’ tweet though …

          • I can’t say who told me. Because in her case yourself really is a stalker. And I don’t need that crap.

          • No. I have tons of new info. I just figured I would email most of it in to Jacy. Just thought I would share that part here.

          • Right, Dog-Yap.

            Hell, Donkey always burns the midnight oil, since when has throwing out an attn-getting ‘insomnia!’ tweet meant that she’s actually addressing it? Without even mentioning a visit to the NYC branch of her nationwide medical team?

            I was merely looking for clarification between substantiated vs blind vs speculation. The *only* reason Boomerang doesn’t clear up the mystery & name names that no one is even asking for is because I am a stalker? Of whomever the fuck she knows that knows Donkeys Rx history?

            What. The. Fuck?

          • @Brayella: Boomerang was calling Julia a stalker. She’ll make his/her life hell if she figures out who RBD’s informants are.

            @Boomerang: Yay! I love inside info almost as much as Donkey hates it. The production assistants will walk amongst us very soon.

          • No no no. I didn’t mean you! I meant that Julia is a stalker. And that if I say everything right now or who got the text then it could become obvious who I am. I was trying to use her phrase about “what if yourself is a stalker.” She is so I try to be careful and not out myself or the people I know this stuff from because it would make problems for them. I just was trying to say that its not a blind guess on my part. Julia told someone she got the prescription a few days ago. So unless she was lying then it is true.

          • Okay, white flag! I’m not seeing the forest for the brays, obviously (insomnia of my own, believe it or not) so pay me no mind.

            Who knows, maybe this reality show will be the best thing for her if she tries to conform to societal norms to hide her inner donkey from film crews & accidentally embraces some normalcy in the long run. I’m rooting for her, believe it or not.

        • huh. interesting. But Xanax isn’t really used for insomnia, is it? I thought it usually prescribed for anxiety and panic attacks.

          • Yeah. I think it was because she was talking about being so stressed out and then unable to sleep. So that was the suggestion to calm down and relax.

          • I use it for insomnia, because I generally only have insomnia when I’m anxious and self-loathing.

            If I were A Donkey, I would probably either never sleep again or just pull a cart of Xanax around all the time. I can torture myself for days with “OMG I WAS AN ASSHOLE TO THAT PERSON THAT ONE TIME” until my huscat and/or the Xanax calm me down. Imagine being A Donkey!

          • For a while there I was having major problems sleeping (would fall asleep fine but then jolt awake three or four hours later and be unable to go back to sleep) and my doctor gave me a prescription for a very low dose of Xan (1mg) because I was terrified of Ambien — which he offered first.

            So it isn’t unknown. What is hilarious to me is her continued insistence that she is an insomniac. Bitch sleeps — just not at night like ‘normal’ people do. She stays up into the wee hours googling herself, reading here, and trying to find dates online, goes to sleep in the AM, and wakes up long after the rest of the world has gone to work. That is NOT insomnia!

            Also, what do you suppose she told the doctor she is stressed about? I mean, we know the real things, but since she refuses to admit she is such a loser, how do you think she spun her stress to make herself look awesomely successful, but ever so stressed?

            Also, WHERE’S LILLY?

          • I’m sure she told the doctor that she was super-anxious because of her stressful career as a relationship advice columnist and TV star.

            Seriously, though, even a normal person might be anxious at making two big life changes—a move and losing one job and starting a new job—at the same time. It just adds to A Donkey’s stress levels that the whole thing is a con game.

  30. That was awesome. Great job Agents Peacock and Inside. Any intel on how many sips of wine she had?

  31. I didn’t realize that Emily Morse had already had a failed TV pilot two years ago for a show calling “Chasing Emily,” which is basically the same plotline as “Miss Advised.” It follows single 38-year-old Emily as she tries to follow her own advice and focus on her love life. It has a very “The Hills” feel.

    The full 23-minute pilot is here: http://vimeo.com/5583568

    • Apparently, reality TV is like history in repeating itself “the first time as tragedy, the second as farce.” OH YEAH KARL MARX IS IN THE HIZZLE

    • I’m curious about something: If it was when she was 38-years-old, would it have been three years ago? (Somewhere someone said Emily is 41-years-old.)

      So anyway, what I’m getting at is maybe that reality show got yanked like a lot of others when the writers strike ended three years ago / in 2008 & regular shows resumed normal writing / acting / airing.

      I haven’t followed the link, no opinion on if her show was good or bad, just trying to guess why the resurrection of an already-tried & short-lived premise.

    • That’s cute, but a little too much of a SATC rip off. I mean, I get that that’s what they were going for, a “Real Sex and the City… but in San Fransico”, but… uh, no. People don’t talk that way in real life.
      I did like when the older guy asked her how she got to SF and she said, “I drove.” That was funny. I also thought it was funny when she VOed that the conversation with the “younger guy” kept coming back to sex and then they showed her asking him if he liked porn. Yeah, the conversation is going to keep coming back to sex if you keep bringing it up.

      Anyway, she comes across really well on camera. Surprising considering what the undercover cat agents said about how she came across last night. I guess, she knows how to turn it on for the camera. Not too different from turning it on for radio maybe.

    • And two years later…. still single. The advice she dishes out and (supposedly) follows must be pure fucking gold.

  32. Hey you basement dwelling bitches! I’m in Chicago! I just did a river tour, and I probably passed by the OMG Downtown Chicago OMG Condo! I listened for the sound of a braying, hee-hawing hick donkey named Julia Baugher, but she must have been inside.

      • According to her blog, she’s throwing a massive Halloween bash tonight in NYC. (Queen of Hearts shill re: the costume company she’s been working with for years, etc.)

          • Feel free to relax, that was months ago, before she became the healthy Julie that she is today!

            Speaking of costumes, I wonder what she’s done with all her hippie skirts and bracelets and Che pendants?

          • She wore the bracelets on the Today Show… I know because they tweeted it. In other words, they gave them to her.

            I watched the Sex with Em show… she is a bit much, and it def had tones of SATC right down to her friend Ruby as Samantha.

          • My NYC friend had snow this morn. What is it about Donkey & her NYC parties that brings on the snow? Wasn’t her BiPolar Birthcray Bash amidst the Snowpocalypse?

  33. I’m stuck inside, watching slushy snow accumulate on my maiden grass. (Sounds a bit naughty, no?) I am squeeing at all the insidery goodness that has been coming our way lately, and want to thank Jacy, JP, and all you sexxay tipsters for your tireless efforts to brighten the lives of catpeeps the world over. YOU ARE LOVED!!

    [img]http://i44.tinypic.com/t8nh1v.gif[/img]

    picture is unrelated

Comments are closed.