OK, Tribune Media Services, Donkeys: It’s Time To Come Clean About Social Studies


Julia Allison, never, ever fired, ever, has gone — let me check the sidebar — um. . . over 21 days without having her internationally syndicated column, “Social Studies,” published. To put this in perspective, that is a longer period of time than most of Julia Allison’s romantic relationships. That’s a longer period of time than when she “shared a home” with FlapJacks McCain. That’s a whole 29 days longer than how long her 30-day fitness challenge lasted.

In the terrifying weeks since Julia Allison’s Lisa Frank version of a professional column went dark, Steve Jobs has died, Occupy Wall Street has exploded, and, I don’t know, other related social media type things happened, because social media is the easiest, most bullshitty topic you can write about. To fuck up a social media column gig takes the unique talent of a lazy, entitled, busted-faced asshole.

Not a single word has been stated publicly regarding, let’s face it, Julia Allison’s firing from Tribune Media Services. The syndicate is being tight lipped. Queries from reputable news organizations have gone unanswered. And Julia Allison is all, “Lalalala, look over here, no, over here,I give blow jobs freely, let’s pretend I never had a column to begin with!”

It’s almost laughable how quiet Julia has been about the whole thing. It makes it pretty evident that the parting of ways was not pretty. This epically wasted opportunity lasted only 7 months, and from what we hear, TMS was desperate to get rid of the donkey after only a month into the gig. So seriously, I don’t want to poke the donkey, but POKE, DONKEY! What happened?


      • Ashton will answer your call in the order it was received. Right now he’s trying to talk Donkey out of letting her prodigious ass[-holery] flap in the wind in front of TV cameras on The Big Holiday Weekend.

      • JP just doesn’t stop being satisfyingly awesome to read.

        (Speaking of Ashton: the unsubstantiated fanciful rumour of the day is that he’s the father of his ex January Jones’s baby after a one night stand, and that’s reallywhy he and Demi are TORN APART! Escandalo! )

    • It’s in the queue after John Mayer and the Sweden shill and whatever else is in the queue. Miss Julia is a busy lady and doesn’t have time to dance to our command like a trained monkey. Also, she may litigate.


      (h/t as always to the ineffable Worrisome Pelts)

      • Also, the Lasagna Signal is giving me a sadz right now because gluten-free lasagna noodles are impossible to find where I live. Yes, I’ve tried Whole Foods and all the supermarket chains. I will either have to order them from the Internets or make my own, neither of which prospect fills me with delight.

  1. I don’t get it. Just give a little tweet about it and be done with it. And why is TMS not responding to inquiries? This is so odd. She’s clearly been dropped, they had that press release up until RBD wrote about it. It was taken down because we noticed it, then nothing. So strange, so fat…

    • Sounds like a pretty straightforward “remove this press release and do not disclose any other information or we’ll see you in court” kind of scenario that originates with you-know-who.

      • I still don’t get why anyone thinks anyone is being threatened legally. I can’t imagine in this day and age a newspaper is going to fire someone illegally. They are lawyered up the yin yang. I”m still making a WILD GUESS they were well within their rights to can her, so she has no leg to stand on. Maybe they just agreed not to disclose it for a time.

    • You’d think they would have caught it the first 17 times she got called out on it. Unless they did ask her to stop and she just couldn’t until she’d gotten through all the verbal tongue baths she’d pre-promised.

      Fail Donkey fails at life.

  2. In all seriousness her silence is almost – almost – frigtening. We here expected one of her signatire dance moves: spin it as mutual parting of the ways, pivote, jazz hands, never mention it again.

    That she hasn’t even bothered to lie about it says to me she’s actually in some kind of shock. This is what happenes eventually to people who are honest-to-goodness delusional. Every once in a while something you can’t ignore smasshes right through the windshield. And she’s like a child. Rocking back and forth. “I am a good writer. I am a good writer.” Back and forth. Just not addressing it, this huge rejection and failure. She’s so stunned she can’t even lie.

    It’s like she has some sort of PTSD. A little scary.

    • Honestly, I get super creeped out when she’s not tweeting, because that’s when she’s usually at her most heinous, in some type of donkey fugue state where she can do/stay atrocious things and it will never factor into her own self-identification as a pretty, pretty princess cupcake.

      I think she’s going to be really lonely in LA, at least she had her family in Chicago. In SF she’s got some people but who does she have in LA? I wouldn’t be surprised if her loneliness becomes the catalyst for an epic cray manic session the likes of which the world has never seen…

    • In shock? Doubtful. On some level, all her firings & ended relationships are self-fulfilling prophecies anyway, she can’t help herself. More likely, & I’d put money on this: TMS promised to publicly counter any semblance of non-truth from her, which leaves nothing for her to spin in her favor.

    • What about the improv classes? The fitness trainer? Emergency root canal? Sudden illness (no air travel)/sudden recovery (all clear!). The paradigm shift? Davos? Yoga? Sugar fast? Sweden? Mayer? Ashram? Walk for the Cure? Upcoming Halloween party in NY? Etc., etc., you know the list, and it’s a long one.
      She brags about a lot of stuff. Follows through on maybe 10%, massages the truth on 75%, and the other 15% is a total fail and inconvenient to her “brand” and therefore meant to be forgotten. It’s really not your concern! Feel free to find better things to do with your time! Just look at her FB page, it says she is currently a Syndicated Tech and Social Media Columnist at Tribune Company. That is all you need to know! So hush!

  3. I’m not surprised; radio silence is her standard move.

    Remember how long it took her to address that Mary and Jordan were leaving? It was crickets until she was publicly called out…

  4. for Julia, to inevitably repost


    • That’s lovely. I liked this one, too, from the always hilarious Gemma Correll:


          • ZOMG COLLIDING WORLDS! Sorry to be obnoxious and namedrop, but I’m friends with Gemma. She is a really really lovely person and I’m always so excited when I see her art out in the wild.

      • I want to go as sexy unexpected burst of melancholia. That’s just too hysterical (ha!). OMG.

        Also, just noticed the “She sucks! That’s all there is to it!” at the bottom. Go RBD!

    • i’m really feeling that last one. that is what i feel like EVERY(snap) DAY(snap). 😉
      the sexy hungry man dinner looks like justine musk.

  5. OT but I need some help y’all.

    Catboy and I just got our first apartment and we literally have ZERO pieces of furniture. ZERO. I think we’re both a little overwhelmed by the whole process. Any recs on where to start and good places to find affordable stuff? (besides Ikea) I think we want to get a new bed, mattress and sofa, but everything else will probably be second hand.

    This seems kind of dumb now that I typed it out, but my family has never bought furniture anywhere but Ikea and consignment stores. Like, I don’t even know where to look. Everything seems super expensive.

    Also, any tips on compromising on design would be appreciated, as catboy kind of cares what things look like and we keep butting heads over what we like. Oh, and I live in Baltimore (if anyone knows of anything local)

    • overstock and amazon have good prices on mattresses. Just read the reviews, they are usually pretty helpful. There’s lots of good frames and platforms, too especially on overstock. Ask around, you never know which friends have furniture they don’t want anymore, that’s how I got my bed frame.

      IKEA is good for a lot of stuff, I wouldn’t automatically discount it. A lot of the stuff on craigslist is from IKEA and if you order it at the store, you can get it delivered and avoid the endless back and forth emails. West Elm is pricier, but you can find good sales and stuff that is a bit more refined.

      • Oh yea, definitely not discounting Ikea, especially the Scratch and Dent dept (apparently, like 50% off on Tuesdays or something!?) We just didn’t like what they had to offer in regards to beds. I plan on getting a bunch of other stuff there, possibly a couch.

    • Have you considered estate sales? Worth checking into, if you like antiques, since many people unload for quick cash & they know they’re competing w/ the no-interest-for-a-year salesrooms, etc. also, they tend to be negotiable on the 2nd half of the last day, but of course things are picked over by then, so …

    • Try looking in the free section of craigslist. People do give away furniture. If there isn’t anything there, try the ‘barter’ section, if you have any skills you can try and exchange. Tell boycat to get over the aesthetics until a time when you can be more selective and purchase what you want.

      If you live near a college town, try looking around those CL freebies ads, because when students move and figure out what they can’t fit, or find other freebies they’d prefer, they will often get rid of their other objects. Also, community bulletin boards will sometimes have “need/want” ads, where you can beg for furniture.

      Try talking to Goodwill or Salvation Army about doing layaway — some actually do this for big ticket items. Some people on craigslist are also occasionally open to making a payment plan, if they’re really trusting or if the item just isn’t worth that much.

      Also, look for garage sales, especially ones touting furniture — they’re more likely to bargain with you if you are really needy. Also, sometimes if they can’t get rid of something at the end of their sale, they will let you have it for free/super cheap if you can haul it.

      • http://baltimore.craigslist.org/zip/2656296620.html — free couch.

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/zip/2654530412.html — free coffee table and end table.

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/zip/2654521283.html — simple dining room table

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/zip/2650035545.html — Ikea couch with a washable slip cover (on the curb, so go fast.)

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/zip/2651787777.html — two couches

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/zip/2636190269.html — couch with washable cover

        Just a few of the offerings.

        • Is this person really in Baltimore? If so, I’d totally give them a few free box springs and mattresses, plus other furniture we have in our basement or garage. If the original poster is still out there—let me know if you’re in the area and what you need? Also I know a guy with a truck that would totally pick up and drop off for 10 or 20 bucks (depending where you are)

          Or were you just randomly surfing Bmore craigslist?

        • Also, if they’re in Baltimore, look up Home ReStore on Kane Street off of Eastern Avenue. They sell tons of NICE things for cheap and the profits go to Habitat for Humanity of the Chesapeake.

      • Some Goodwill locations are now doing auctions on big ticket items too, so it’s worth checking into a couple or three nearest you.

      • tots craigslist. i’ve gotten pretty much all my furniture off there for free. some also from goodwill.

      • Oh nice, I didn’t know about Goodwill layaway. We’re trying to not spend all our money at once, so we’re exclusively shopping at places where we cant get like 6mos interest free, etc.

        • Just saw you’re in B’more.

          1. Try Home ReStore on Kane Street (eastern edge of town). Right across from Home Depot.

          2. Value Village on Eastern Avenue, across from Markets at Highlandtown.

          3. Ask [REDACTED]’s mom. She would know more stores than anyone here. And she lives in northern B’more.

          4. Hampden. Tons of hipster stores, antiques, used furniture, vintage stuff, etc. It’s off Jones Fall Expressway at 33rd street, most of the stores are on 33rd street itself, which people just call “the Avenue”. Cool place, like really cool. When you’re settled into town, try the Happy Hour menu at Dogwood, which is a great restaurant with a social message.

          5. What do you need? If you need something I have, I can hook you up. I live in the city, in the southeast, near the harbor tunnels. If you want to come into GOMI chat later tonight, I will give you my cell and you can text or call me. I have 2 tables, a bunch of mattresses and box springs, some lamps, end tables, upholstered chairs, you get the picture… We bought our current house with the old furniture inside, but need to get rid of some of it. Like I said, I know a guy with a pickup, you’d need to work out with him some money for gas and time, but he’s a good guy, would do it inexpensively.

          • Thanks Afghani! Yea, I might check in later depending on what we find when we go hunting today. I looooooooooove the restore and go there frequently with my mom. The Loading Dock is also great if you’re ever building something or doing renovations.

            I think we are going to get a new mattress but might be interested in the end tables.

          • Oh also, I grew up here (Baltimore) and am completely weirded out by Hampden being some kind of hipsters paradise now. I went to middle school in that area when it was pretty brokeass/scary in parts.

    • A lot of my furniture is from craigslist. We wanted antiques to go with the vibe of our house, built in the 1930s. Found a gorgeous dining room table, coffee table, chairs, lamps, rugs, lots of other great pieces. A lot of times, it’s someone who’s moving or bought new furniture. They want to clear their old stuff out, so you can probably get a good deal.

      The only thing I wouldn’t get used now is a bed or sofa because of the bedbug problem. It’s gotten pretty bad in LA.

      • Yes, I was just going to mention the unfortunate need for caution now that bedbugs are back in a huge way. Anything I ever saved in furniture and household costs was lost when my apartment became infested. It’s not always that bad but it’s very often costly and terrible for your mental health. Please be careful!

        The futon store here in Toronto had a few surprisingly nice couches last time I was there.

        • Sorry, I want to add that bedbugs can be in anything. Beds and couches are most risky but carefully inspect anything with fabric and anything hard that may have cracks they could be hiding in. You can get useful advice on how to do this on bedbugger.com. That used to be my online hangout before rbd.

      • That’s exactly why we decided not to buy anything with upholstery used. My mom thinks this is hilarious because she has always gotten her beds out of dumpsters. I don’t think she believes in bedbugs.

    • I had like a $500 couch from Ikea for a few years that I honestly loved more than this $1800 couch I got a couple of years back from Room and Board. It maybe wasn’t as cute but it was still very nice, and super comfy, and it was even one of those “put it together yourself” dealios. I loved it. But I also second Craigslist where you can often find yeah, sofas from Room and Board and the like for signifcantly cheaper because people are upsizing or downsizing living quarters etc. and just want to sell stuff.

    • Craiglist. You’ll inevitably find items from people who absolutely have to get rid of certain stuff (moving, etc), so the prices are low. Craigslists around college towns are especially fruitfull.

      Also, West Elm. A little pricier than Ikea, but nowhere near the Pottery Barn/C&B territory.

    • ASV, I just finished reading your comment and now I’m seconding my craigslist recommendation.

      • Sorry to clarify – I lived in a few different row houses in Baltimore. I found that a lot of people were in the same position I was – moving from house to house b/c we were all post-undergrad who were either looking for a better place, needing to move out because their roommate was getting married, themselves were getting married to their college sweetheart, couldn’t afford living in the place they were in now. As a result of this constant moving, Craigslist was a goldmine of good stuff for cheap – people just wanted to dump off the stuff they didn’t want really quickly and not deal with price haggling. I’m sorry, I’ve been imbibing, hopefully this makes some sense.

      • Bah! I just have to say that the reason I ended up here/discovered JA is because I knew your other son (the now model one) in high school . I actually almost went to the same high school as he did but ended up not moving to the county so I couldn’t enroll.

        Thank you for the recs! I frequent the Goodwill superstore in Towson/Timonium, but I’ve never heard of Ryan’s Relics.

      • You are not only awesome, you are servicey as well!



      • In Baltimore there are tons of places to scour – you just need a good eye to weed through the junk and kitsch. The Avenue in Hampden is a great place to start – for sofas and stuff your best bet is Davidson but I’ve found some great pieces elsewhere around ( such as a trio of original Aalto nesting stools for around one hundred bucks – the seller didn’t know what they were – and incidentally they are the perfect furniture for small row houses, can be used as tables, seating, and they stack). The key to scoring i’ve found is making repeat trips. Also the Turnaround Shop (I think on Keswick) is good – they usually have particularly nice outdoor furniture. I’d also recommend antiques row ( Howard street) even if you’re not interested in “antiquey” stuff – I’ve found some very reasonably mid century, Danish modern furniture, especially in basement of the Stalls ( fortunately antiques row is right by my house so it’s easy to pop in)

        What I’ve always found hilarious is that the furniture in Shoeffers in Federal Hill is so BIG – how does it fit into Baltimore rowhouses?

        I also find a lot if stuff on the street actually – when summer break starts at MICA, it’s great pickings in Bolton Hill.

        • Re: the street– totally, you just have to figure out when bulk trash pickup is for each area of the city. It’s generally once a month. For my area, it’s the second Tuesday of any month, but I think this girl lives closer to you.

          You can usually call 311 (city services) and find this stuff out if you ask the right questions.

      • And here I thought I’d be the only person to recommend Ryans Relics! So many B’more people.

        Davids on The Avenue can sometimes have great finds for dirt cheap, too. The turnover is usually pretty quick there. Lately they’ve tended to have a lot of cool dining room type stuff.

      • Lol, cats, can I just say it’s hilarious that this site has brought in on only his hotness but momwick as well? (I like that name!) This place is too funny. Next up, I hope we see her former editor up in here. Come on in Lee! Don’t be shy!!

  6. “Lalalala, look over here, no, over here,I give blow jobs freely…”

    That is such a lie! “Freely” my ass, she wants shoes or at least an invitation to a cool party.

      • and i’m going to pre-empt anyone who was going to say ‘the herp’ by saying it FIRST! THE HERP! (derp)


          • If I could find it, I’d juxtapose this ostrich shot with the one of her standing on the table wearing that massive grandma bra on New Years.
            She’s known to be repetitious with her stock list of fauxto poses. Practice makes perfect, right?!
            Cringe-inducing dance moves, standing on furniture, skirt pull, ass presenting, gaping maw, wide stance, shocked princess, boobie smush on male torso, jumping for no reason, food licking, kissy face to a crowd of crickets, sausage snapper point, and the recently documented over-the-threshold (when there ain’t no wedding involved) … to name a few.

          • this one?


          • Icrayanawfullot: I am taking Kissy Face to a Crowd of Crickets as my new handle. Peltcakes doesn’t work anymore, sans flapjacks. Also: I have always LOVED the grandma bra new year’s shot. Her dance moves are hilarious. Can’t believe she was trying to sex up Pancakes in that getup, with those moves.

          • I so love chica in the background who you just know is snorting into the boa she’s hiding behind while politely trying not to be obvious except she’s unable to tear her laughing eyes away.

          • God, that one hurts my eyes, too. I hate it when I feel sorry for her for a complete lack of self-awareness in her fail.


            How did Jack see that and still manage to throw it in her later?

          • Does that skirt have a raw bottom seam? Like it was originally made to cover the crotchular area so Donkey took a pair scissors to it? I never noticed that before, but it kind of looks like it does.

      • That pic of her dancing NYE KILLS ME!!!! Because that’s the real Julia – awkward wanna be who doesn’t fit in but is trying JUST SO HARD!!!!

      • I know we’ve discussed it a lot but: THAT DRESS. Who would go out dressed like that?! With a gigantic support bra? I feel SO embarrassed for her that she went out like this. In Public. Where people saw her with THEIR EYES.

  7. figured out why that Christine chick is such a Julia enabler:

    Christine Kelly was with Randi Zuckerberg at Hobee’s Stanford.
    Yesterday at 11:17am via mobile

    and of course more humblebragging by Randi:
    En route to Europe for an action-packed week of speaking engagements and appearances

    Methinks she secrtely dislikes being a mommy.

    • Hobee’s is like the Houston’s of Silicon Valley. Don’t these bitches know there are other places to “brunch” (on a fucking weekday)?

      • WTF is up w/ chickenshit people who only frequent the chains of prefab food? I know it’s irrational, disproportionately so, but it’s got to be one of my biggest peeves when people remain steadfastly boring & unhealthy, come mealtime.

        • I once had an argument with someone whose “favorite restaurant” was Olive Garden. Said person lived in Chicago and had just moved there from New York.

          I think that a lot of really childish people prefer chain restaurants because it’s safe for them. PAGING A DONKEY.

          • I do believe ‘childish’ is key here. People I know who are like this in their adult lives are the same ones whose mama kept ’em on a steady diet of canned green beans & boxed mac & cheese ‘cuz they were too bratty to try anything else. I never did get that whole biz of relinquishing control to a kid, especially when it comes to crap for meals.

          • @Brayella — Hope you aren’t lumping the population of people who can only afford canned green beans and boxed mac and cheese in there. A lot of people survive on those things because they are less perishable, easier to cook after a twelve hour shift, and cheaper than kale and Swiss chard at the local grocer.

            I used to think splitting a plate of country fried steak and mashed potatoes with my mom at Denny’s was a glorious treat for a ‘celebration.’

            My dad, who is in his mid-70’s, thinks Joe’s Crab Shack is some fine dining because they have fun dancing, an outdoor patio on the shit-filled polluted river, and cost a pretty penny for a chain.

            Some folks just grow up with simpler pleasures.

            Julia is just a fucking Donkey with no excuse, though.

          • Nahh, not at all what I meant, mcakez. I’m talking about when a kid gets their favorite over & over again, independent of the main meal prepared for everyone else.

            Like my step-nephew who either ate mac & cheese or cereal cuz his mom set the pace for him to wheedle & whine ’til he got his way … kid was the exact same size from the age of 7-to-11, BTW, & also had the worst acne I’ve ever seen.

            Or the grown-ass man I know who’s a firefighter but also a whiny little bitch if his meal doesn’t include instant mashed potatoes & canned green beans Every. Single. Time.

            Both of those examples are from well-enough-to-do families w/ stay-at-home moms. The emphasis of my point had to do w/ when lazy parenting = whiny kids = picky, boring palates.

          • I grew up in a rural part of the midwest where there weren’t many options besides fast food and downscale chain restaurants. Now I’m grossed out by it.

            But, I’m not a snob. My grandmother cooked everything from scratch but it was so bland (no salt b/c of her blood pressure and she didn’t really know how to use other seasonings) that I liked the food I could get at Wendy’s better. I know. My parents never put up a fuss when I wanted to eat crap all the time, either. (I don’t know how the financials worked out, but we ate fast food a lot instead of home-cooked meals.) I grew up not knowing how to cook so I survived on take-out for many years even when I was out on my own.

            Now, I’m with a catman who grew up cooking and experimenting (no recipes) , who is selective about the food we eat (seasonal, as local as possible) and I finally get it. And when I go out to restaurants, I expect a lot from my meals in terms of their ingredients and how they are prepared. It was a process for me to get here that was very much a function of family income and parenting.

          • It absolutely is the “safety” that causes people to go to chain restaurants when there are better options. I don’t mean people who eat dinner from the McDonald’s $1 menu because that’s all they can afford. I’m talking about the tourists who actually wait in line to pay $30 for a meal at the Times Square Red Lobster when there are hundreds of better, cheaper places in New York. They would rather get the same Admiral’s Feast they always order back in Indiana than go to a local place and be disappointed.

        • I was travelling through Europe and was on a shuttle from the tiny airport in Palma de Mallorca heading to the harbor, and there were two young women bragging — BRAGGING! — about how many cities across the continent they had successfully found a McDonald’s to eat in.
          I died a little that day.

    • She is so goddamn annoying, that one. SHUT UP. Can you imagine her hangers on that must just LOATHE her ass because she won the birth lottery yet never shuts up about her OMG FABULOUS career?

      I always suspected she was an asshole, and it’s just being confirmed. I mean her brother is a notorious asshole. It makes sense.

        • I will always say this when her name comes up: her company name is the stupidest thing I ever heard. R to Z – your lower bracket, not quite one stop shop for social media services that involve RZ being in front of a camera. Vomit.

    • Meh, you wouldn’t say that about her husband, that he “secretly dislikes being a daddy,” would you? Some people take a parental leave when they have a child, and some people just keep going with their regular work schedule. There are lots of other reasons to dislike Randi Facebook than that she isn’t doing mommying the way you would armchair quarterback it.

      Maybe Mr. Randi is the one who’s taking parental leave?

      • I would totally say it about him too. The point is that she seems to be using her baby as a prop on facebook. Sound familiar? I also happen to think her baby is cute.

        so, where the hell did that nasty-ass comment come from? I actually have defended Randi on this board a lot, but she’s been on my last nerve lately with her incessant humblebragging. I made a comment, I feel a certain way, and who are you to tell me my observations are any less valid than your own Julia Allison “armchair quarterbacking?” seriously, pot kettle black.

        • anyway, I dislike it when people fight online, this place I come to for shits & giggles, so feel free not to respond since I can’t delete my post (which doesn’t mean I don’t feel the way I do, but that I’m not interested in arguing over something stupid).

        • Sorry, I have just encountered a lot of mommy-policing bullshit elsewhere on the internets today, and I totally misread your comment as being in that vein.

          I think we can all bond over our mutual detestation of Randi Facebook and her husband and their Ernest Borgnine-looking baby!

  8. Yeah, this girl’s outfits are silly. And not age appropriate. And attention seeking. And yeah, she is annoying. But, comments like:

    Her right thigh is fatter than her torso..

    C’mon. Give me a break. She isn’t fat. In fact, she looks like a perfectly nice size, normal girl.

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    • You don’t understand … JULIA ALLISON DOESN’T DRINK!
      (nor does she read here, except, of course, when she does…)

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