Julia Allison, never, ever fired, ever, has gone — let me check the sidebar — um. . . over 21 days without having her internationally syndicated column, “Social Studies,” published. To put this in perspective, that is a longer period of time than most of Julia Allison’s romantic relationships. That’s a longer period of time than when she “shared a home” with FlapJacks McCain. That’s a whole 29 days longer than how long her 30-day fitness challenge lasted.
In the terrifying weeks since Julia Allison’s Lisa Frank version of a professional column went dark, Steve Jobs has died, Occupy Wall Street has exploded, and, I don’t know, other related social media type things happened, because social media is the easiest, most bullshitty topic you can write about. To fuck up a social media column gig takes the unique talent of a lazy, entitled, busted-faced asshole.
Not a single word has been stated publicly regarding, let’s face it, Julia Allison’s firing from Tribune Media Services. The syndicate is being tight lipped. Queries from reputable news organizations have gone unanswered. And Julia Allison is all, “Lalalala, look over here, no, over here,I give blow jobs freely, let’s pretend I never had a column to begin with!”
It’s almost laughable how quiet Julia has been about the whole thing. It makes it pretty evident that the parting of ways was not pretty. This epically wasted opportunity lasted only 7 months, and from what we hear, TMS was desperate to get rid of the donkey after only a month into the gig. So seriously, I don’t want to poke the donkey, but POKE, DONKEY! What happened?