He Was Inside, Or At Least He Will Be


Oh, gross. These two deserve each other. Despite it being a rather crass comment about sexual assault, I’m sure Julia Allison found it heehaw-ha. UPDATE: SHE DID

This coming from a woman who wondered earlier this year why men still rape women, while quite stupidly claiming she was eminently qualified to comment on the matter.

Have fun chowing down on Tucker Max’s dick cheese, and remember, your “ex-boyfriend” was the son of a senator/Republican nominee for president. Honey, your desperation is showing.


  1. He / they wanted attention and they got it. Congratulations. (“But it was just a joke!…We’re just friends!”)

    If you’re going to joke about rape, Tucker, at least make it funny.

      • There is a reason why you are my secret lover (so secret even you don’t know) and have unlimited access to my medicine cabinet.

          • Meetup 2.0!!!

            I’m glad that joke played as is, but I’d like to tweak it just a tad. Originally I was going to say:

            A: one, as long as he’s a dead baby.

            but my highly-tuned pearl-clutching sensor told me it might be Too Far so I’ll go with:

            A: one, as long as he’s dead, baby.

  2. I seriously cannot believe that Tucker Max is a character in this little reality show now. Even I didn’t think Julia would ever be that desperate.

    • Oh honey. I saw this one coming back in 2007. It’s entropy meets failure. He is the Yin to her Yang on this spectrum as it were.

      That said, it’s totally gross and disgusting. And the obvious outcome. And still gross and disgusting. Like, way worse than anything i’ve watched lately. That said, i’m behind on Housewives and have never watched the Jersey Shore.

    • Add HUGE DOUCHEBAG to the entropy + failure to make the equation more accurate.

      I just kant. So horrid.

      You and Jacy deserve some kind of danger pay for parsing this.

    • Even as my brain explodes with the horror of this mutual fameball freakout I can’t help but wonder who she can hang with after he kicks her to the curb? The Situation? Screech? I mean how low can one go? She’s making Faye Greener look like Princess Kate.

      • Also? His lameass vanity movie cost $7 million and grossed 1.4. After he ( incompetently) produced it he also ( incompetently) self distributed, because 1. no distributor made him the large money offer his vanity demanded 2.he thought he’d make a mint. Bwah ha ha ha!

      • Well, from what I’ve read over at thedirty.com (don’t you judge me!) apparently there are very wealthy Saudi businessmen who will pay good money for a young lady to do a *ahem* number 2 on them. I guess that would count as more ‘low’, right?

        • My prediction for Julia is and has been for some time that she will strike out trying to become a trophy wife in the US and will have to try her luck in the Middle East.

    • She already hung out with Hipster Grifter last year, so how much lower can she go? Julia, always finding the trapdoor in the basement.

    • That’s the biggest fucking problem I have with this dumb fucking bitch. Anyone that was date raped or experienced the rape of a person close to them WOULD NEVER JOKE ABOUT RAPE. And frankly, a lot of people who HAVEN’T experienced it don’t joke about it either. BECAUSE RAPE IS NOT FUNNY. EVER.

  3. JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    @NewYorkObserver – it was $1700!!
    8 minutes ago

    Little Miss I Was Inside Rape Expert Not Bothered By Rape Comment.

    I kant with any of these people, they truly make me sick.

    • That is so disgusting. There are absolutely no principals she will wantonly abandon for the attention of a man or the press.

      Such a stupid, shameless whore.

    • She’s apparently not bothered by rape itself, since she claims to have experienced one in college. WTF is wrong with her?? This kind of public assholery will get her shitcanned before her Bravo show is “in the can” — how can she not know this?

      I bet her PR person would like to throttle her.

      • I dunno, Patti Stanger said some nasty things about gays and Jewish men (Andy Cohen is both of those) and then DEFENDED THEM when he gave her an “out” and said “you’re kidding, right”… and she has a very successful Bravo show.

        So I kind of doubt that Bravo cares. Look at the other shit Bravo has put on the air recently–every Housewives show, Million Dollar Listing, Millionaire Matchmaker, etc. Doesn’t make it any less vile, though.

        • Like seriously, Julia is no more offensive than Stanger and it appears that Bravo honchos eat her shit up bc of ratings. After the last WWHL, my catlady and I just sat there like “WTF?” after she said her stuff about gay men can’t be monogamous bc they’re incapable and that Jewish men lie bc its in their DNA… just… wtf??

          Julia will fit right in over there. And if they edit her properly (to show she’s a dumb donkey) people might actually watch. Let’s be honest, people watch Bravo for the trainwreck aspect.

      • That’s all I keep thinking about mule on. She claims she’s been date-raped. She finds this funny? I can’t even find words.

    • These parents are part of the problem. They honestly suck as parents. Honestly, it probably goes beyond the parents to the grandparents and maybe even further up that family tree of weirdos.

      • I totally agree with this BUT – I have totally fucked up and weird parents, too. How come I am capable of being an adult and recognizing their dysfunctions? I feel like at some point in your life you grow up and you have to take responsibility for the person you are. I hate sounding holier than thou but Jesus, this notion that family is EVERYTHING is kind of weird to me. So many families are weird and dysfunctional – I felt guilt for awhile for separating myself from my family’s behavior and now I wonder why I ever put up with it.

        I don’t know, I’m rambling – there’s a point in there somewhere! I’d like to end with the fact that the “I was inside” tweet was the one that caused me to break and comment for the first time here.

        Seriously, fuck you, Donkey.

        P.S. Julia Allison Baugher, MacBook Air FAIL, Boner Killer, Gold Digger FAIL, Hose Beast, Gluten-free FAIL, Clam Dungeon, Julia Allison McCain FAIL, Green Skin Tags, Race for the Cure FAIL

        • Word. The whole ‘adversity makes you stronger’ argument.

          Also: Julia Allison, Bravo, Tresemme, bad advice, rape is totally funny, ha ha!, the bray, miss advised, non-celebrity, pathetic, please marry me, wedding advice, wedding planning, wedding dresses, wedding desperation, weddings from rape, tucker max, asshole auction, michael whatever his name is is racking hits from some donkey being an asshole, cankle sores, thyroid thighs, donkey. BRAVO.

    • I’m sure Robin will swallow any emotions she has about this down with another handful of the happy pill just like she must have been doing for years because I can’t think of any other way she could have survived raising that thing without lots and lots of denial and meds.

      That’s my theory about the Boogers: Pettifogger is a fame hound just like dear little julia; Robin lives on happy pills, denial and memories of the good times when she worked on the Hill, had an important job and friends outside her own home; dear little julia is the forever princess; and brother Britt buried himself in books to escape his loony family and ran the first chance he got.

  4. I bet this isn’t the first time Tucker Max has shelled out a bunch of cash for a good raping. Julia, honey, I’ll be happy to loan you my strap-on.


  5. In my household, where we have no direct experience with this issue at play in our thoughts and feelings towards this matter, we have banned Rape Culture as something to find hilarious or partake in without giving it serious thought. I find it shocking and appalling that someone who used the assault of a family member for leverage on Twitter of all places would involve themselves with rape jokes for attention.

    As Morrissey says, “That joke just isn’t funny anymore.”

    • I don’t mean to over qualify my disgust. The only point i am making is that i never claimed a family member suffered an assault or that i suffered an assault myself as Julie has also done and this being the case i would never ever, ever in my fucking life let this shit ride publicly and make a fucking joke of it. I just don’t understand this horrid, HORRID person called Julia Allison Baugher. She’s gross.

      • Yeah, I don’t understand why someone would joke about rape EVER. Even before modern ideas about rape, if you look back through history being raped or watching while your spouse or family member was raped was one of the most inhumane and disgusting things that could happen. A tactic of shame and fear. But holy shit, this girl is ignorant. And all her enablers just make it worse. She really was emboldened last time, when people were like “well, her mom was raped, so you can’t say anything about the situation”… when the fact was, she never should’ve used her mom’s suffering to make a point in a stupid online argument.

      • Your ‘over-qualification’ is not ‘over-qualified’ at all. I feel physically ill at the notion that someone who has so desperately clung to the issue of rape in the past is so easily ‘har har’ing it right now. Tucker made a gross joke — well, he makes his living being an offensive dickwad. However, this convenient feminist (yes, I rang), has made a personality out of offense at such notions, and damned if she didn’t throw it all on the twitterverse to be part of some ludicrous ‘in’ (in what? a ton of whores? including JA, at this point) crowd?

        What would Burning Man think, Jules? Rape is funny? No.

        Rape is an occasional issue at the burn. In 2003, I ran into a guy, hung out with him for about an hour, decided I wanted to go back to camp and told him goodbye. I walked back to camp and he stalked me, about 50 feet behind, the entire walk to my camp. I went into my tent, heard him wandering around my camp for a while — unzipping tents and shaking things around, sometimes calling out for me — and I hid in the corner of my tent and shook, wondering how long before he found me. I heard another person coming the other way, stumbling around camp, and the sound of feet scurrying off and things being knocked over. Someone yelled, “Hey! Get out of here…” and about a minute later my tent-mate popped his head in to get new batteries for his flashlight. I grabbed hold of him and almost cried I was so relieved to see him. Had he not come in at that time, who knows what might have happened.

        I WAS INSIDE… the tent. We reported the guys camping area (which he had told me) the next day, and he was swiftly kicked off the fucking playa.

        I don’t mean to imply that burning man is all rapists and psychos. I had a bad experience once night out of many years I was there. My point is that rape isn’t something we joke about or apologize for out on the playa. If she wants to act like she has had some kind of spiritual awakening, maybe she shouldn’t joke like rape is a perfectly acceptable occurrence in the ‘default world.’


        • Think of better ways she could’ve played the hand she was dealt. She could’ve said, OK he paid his 1700 so he gets the date, but before the date he has to volunteer at a shelter for battered women. Or else, she could’ve refused to go on the date with him until he publicly retracted the “rape is fun!” remark.

          Basically anything except act proud about it.

          • No way in fucking hell should a misogynistic piece of shit like Tucker Max volunteer at a shelter for battered woman. We don’t want him or need him. These places are to help women. They are not places to send nasty assholes in hopes that they can see the error of their ways.

      • she wants it both ways (that’s what she said)

        she wants to feign indignation when it suits her
        when slovening over someone more successful than she (in her mind, Tucker Max) she wants to joke about it and be “cool”

        She’s such a dandelion. Blowing any way the wind does.

        • This is the argument that she makes that irks me the most. If you were to point this out to her, she’d be like “oh, bitchface, poor limited, limited bitchface. Of course I can have it both ways. I can have it anyway I want it! Open your mind! I went to burning man. Have a nice day! :)”

  6. She’s so fucking dumb. TM (like many guys, let’s be honest) will lay any decently attractive girl… its not some badge of honor to be bragged about. Julia’s acting like this is Brad Pitt or [insert name of some hotshot celeb guy] rather than some sub-D List asshole that most people have never heard of.

    Damn she’s stupid. Also, I really love how a lot of you people were yelling at me for saying “I WAS INSIDE” all over the place a few months ago… but now you guys are doing it. Whatever. I was ahead of the times.

        • I mentioned tigernet once, in answer to someone who said I was making up knowing where Greasy lives and I referenced an (accurate) account of Greasy’s personality (Beta male) that came from a well regarded author writing about Al Gore… nothing I’ve said was nearly as vile or worthy of repetition as her “TEE HEE IT WAS 1700!!!!” or “I WAS INSIDE” or 50million other vile things she has spewed on the net for the past decade.

          • Next year, we Cali people are totally going to be “Beta Breakers” and I am going to wear a sign that says “Afghani Facebook Friend” sign. Just saying.

          • Admittedly, I am a douche at times and I’m really not cool. I even look like a douche, apparently (I look like Scott Disick who is a megadouche). So the stuff you guys (gals) say is funny and has an element of truth. I give you guys props. The other day in GOMI chat JFA busted my balls so hard I couldn’t walk for 3 days, it really was the best joke ever and much more fun than rehashing Messica or BlueBirdVintage of SmallTownFashionista for the hundredth time. As far as RBD, Cakez, you can break my Beta(s) anytime, like an older sister beating up a younger brother for putting gum in her hair. I deserve it.

          • Ugh, enough. I didn’t start the whole “JFA/AFF” thing. Lots of people have funny little interactions on here, I don’t see what makes ours different. He says douchey things sometimes and I comment on them/get pissed off, and he likes baiting me apparently. If people are tired of it I sincerely apologize.

          • “If people are tired of it I sincerely apologize.”

            Not tired of you, JFA. Tired of Afghani and his relentless assholery.

          • Okay, sorry Donksters. It’s just people keep mentioning that we should “Get a room” etc and I’m not exactly encouraging it. And I’m in a bad mood obviously.

          • No, I don’t see you encouraging him at all, JFA. Replying to him is not the same as encouraging him. He seems to have a thing for you which sometimes comes across as stalkerish. He just needs to learn when to back off.

          • AFGHANI:

            Were you home schooled? I only ask because there’s a few rules-of-the-playground that are at work here that explain pretty much everything.

            1) If someone is smarter than you or does extra credit (TigerNet), they are a nerd and you should make fun of them.

            2) If you secretly like someone, insult them, pull their hair or trip them so they fall in the mud.

            3) They more someone gets upset or indignant or simply *responds* when you push their buttons, the funnier it is. This is how embarrassing childhood nicknames are created.

            I’ve never thought you were a douche. Now give me a bro-hug.

      • I made my screen name on here something like “AFF was INSIDE!!” for a while. I don’t remember exactly, and maybe it wasn’t that funny, but people were saying it was inappropriate to question her account of things. As if there was any explanation for her “sharing” that info in the first place.

          • Source for her discussing the crime against her mom? Or the screen name? If the latter, it was the same day or a day after she made the “I was inside” comment. I gave up pretty quick, bc it did have an element of bad taste, even though I blame that on the dumb donkey.

  7. All I can say is ewww. Yuck. Gonna need a little time before I’ll be able to joke about this (like until the morning). But! The point I wanted to make is that this must have EVERYTHING to do with the Bravo show. Otherwise these 2 hicks would have hooked up years ago. That’s all.

  8. Rape jokes, eh? Hilarious!

    A few posts back, one of you lovely cat ladies (I think it was mcakez) posted the link to a feminist blog, Fugitivus (it was in response to someone feeling low because of an abusive relationship).

    I followed the link; it turned out to be a personal blog brilliantly written by a young woman who had experienced abuse and rape in her relationship with her boyfriend.

    One of her top posts is this one, all about rape jokes:

    The whole essay is extremely well-argued, and she continues to discuss and argue the point with the commenters on the thread.

    • I’m glad you guys liked the blog. I felt a little odd posting it, because the woman who writes it is a very vocal feminist, and I thought some people might not appreciate what she had to say. For anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship, though, much of what she says is spot-on and so intelligently written. I lost hours reading the first time I found it, too.

  9. Are eggs considered dairy? @TuckerMax & I are having a debate. I say “yes.” He cackles “no!”

    Oh please, like Julia Allison is gonna pretend that she doesn’t know when slimy protein is going down her gullet.

    • does she think a cow shits out eggs? is she retarded (yeah, don’t answer that)? chicken procreation is no joke!

    • Is she so stupid that she thinks dairy is a barnyard thing? Like if it comes from an animal who hangs out in a barn, it must be dairy? Jesus.

    • Baugher is a doppelganger, changing herself to suit the man of the hour i.e. Republican housewife for Pancakes. She thinks TM wants a dumb, airhead, supplicant so she is playing the role.

    • FUCK she’s dumb. And as a barnyard animal, I’d expect her to know better.

      And JP, she prefers that the slimy protein go in the clam dungeon. She wants the little bits of dairy in her ovariez FERTILIZED.

    • This whole thread slayed me. I wish it had kept going.

      “as a barnyard animal, I’d expect her to know better.” – comment of the week!

  10. Ew they’re hanging out right now!

    JuliaAllison: Are eggs considered dairy? @TuckerMax & I are having a debate. I say “yes.” He cackles “no!” · Reply · RT

  11. Stick around for a few weeks, TM! You’ll get to be on Miss Advised! Maybe you two can be the new rape culture version of Heidi and Spence!

  12. If this doesn’t show what a disgusting fame whore she is – I don’t know what does. I found it offensive as someone who has never been raped nor do I have someone close to me who has been sexually assaulted. But if it can get Julia Allison press, then I guess a funny comment about Tucker Max raping you for money is just a big ol’ bag of yucks.

    • Statistically, most of us have a friend who has been sexually assaulted or who was a victim of an attempt. Most people just don’t want to talk about it, understandably. I dated a girl who had been a rape victim in college and it had been 5 yrs since then, but she still had a really hard time trusting any guy. We couldn’t even make out with the lights off for a few months… and before she could really let herself go during sex, she wanted me to really understand that there were big trust issues for her. Yet, this was one of the stronger, smart women I’ve known. The point being, lots of people are affected by this stuff in a really personal way, how the fuck is this “feminist” (ya right) donkey so stupid about this issue?

  13. Okay you guys. Can I just live the dream for a moment? What if TM becomes her boyfriend? It lasts thru the holidays and she brings him home for Christmas to experience Baugher Lakeside Manor/University Club Holiday Celebrations!!

    *fans self. tries to calm down after getting too excited at the thought of it*

    • Delicious. The match made in heaven that I have been waiting for. But you know TM would only be doing it for the reality show exposure.

    • I wonder how he feels about christmas sweaters. Or will he just deck his pencil dick with tinsel like some sort of herpetic yule log?


    What a horrid, gross little cunt. What an atrociously offensive thing to say, but then she just tee-hees about it. She is a psychopath, a monster with no redeeming qualities.

    File all the lolsuits you want, Peter Baugher, your daughter is a despicable person. How dare you raise such an awful woman.

    • Well as nice as a piece of shit could possibly be.

      But seriously, she is one very sad, classless fuck. I’ve totally lost any brayge I once had. I read here all the time, comment rarely, but this really bothered me. Has she totally no self respect?

      There are going to be no happy endings for Julia.

        • Thanks, solidarity cat. Like I said, I read here all the time (been following the commentary on the smegnoxiousness that is Julia since Gawker condom fairy days), but comment rarely. Why rarely? Because you all say such awesome things and I feel like I have nothing to add to the discussion except inanities like “Awesome comment”; “Just what I was thinking”, etc. I’m sure there’s many like me lurking out there.

          But this latest jape of hers was a new low and I just had to brave the comments. If she had a soul to begin with, she just sold it.

          And while I’m here, tapping away, there’s been some fantastic book recommendations in the comments, had some great reading thanks to you guys. So, thanks.

          (Also, fun game I play here, trying to match RBD commentators with old Gawker commentators and Tumblr friends. I’ve picked a few. But oh, what I’d give to know who Handbag Stuffed With Hair is).

          • Don’t be a stranger, Ex Spurt! There’s lots of love to go around here in the basement. Here, want some cheetos?

          • I’m an olden days Gawker person too…email me and I’ll tell you anything you want to know 🙂 marymouse3 at gmail.

  15. I get it. Julia wants to be the Annette Bening to Tucker (Warren Beatty). She’d love nothing, nothing better than for people to say she’s the one who “tamed” the playboy.

    seriously need to go vom in the shower now

  16. Bravo to Tim Ferris for furnishing JABa with a whole new circle jerk to join via his convergence of douche omg so super secret and exclusive conference.
    (Btw, did you happen to see the advert for the “private” and “exclusive” book launch party of her latest fan boy? Ya, buy the book and you’re in … suckahs.)
    She’s lost any purchase on the coattails of the tech group; this new load of hucksters, with far less to offer, is her perfect crowd. They’re all using each other as props while they spiral further down into the drain of busted has-beens, headed for the sewage strewn shore of irrelevance.

  17. God what an asshole.

    From Feb. 15:

    @JuliaAllison WHY DO MEN STILL RAPE WOMEN???

    Maybe because ass-kissing cock-teasers like you still laugh at their rape jokes, cuntface.

    • A little perturbed there, Jacy?
      I hear ya.
      Wanted to say though that I felt just a little micro twinge of concern about your comment as it almost skirts the edges, ever so slightly, of the blame the victim idiocy, which I know absolutely you do not subscribe to. So, just sayin’.

      Yes, she carries on like a self-centered narcissistic cuntzilla, to be sure, trowelling on make-up, sausaging herself into too small clothes, squeezing out the self-described perfectly symmetrical boobies, and mimicking the boys with crude language and behavior to impress them, ALL designed for male approval (and, sadly, what she perceives as female envy). But she really doesn’t have the ability, I don’t think, to cause harm to anyone but herself. Even her young fan girls seem soon enough able to see the emptiness behind her plastic facade.

      • Not so much blame the victim, but if guys like this douche believe chicks think rape jokes are tee-hee cute and funny, what does that tell them about the seriousness of the crime? He should have been shamed and chastised for that comment by anyone who heard him say it or saw that Tweet, in particular Donkey, the “why do men still rape women???!??!” and “I WAS INSIDE!!!” crusader. She is such a disingenuous fucking asshole.

        I also believe Tucker Max must have something to do with the Bravo show somehow, like he’s going to be an antagonist, Spencer Pratt type. I have heard this theory from a few people who don’t get the sudden friendship.

        • I don’t know anything about Tucker Max outside of what I’ve learned here. Call me Cavewoman, but I’d never heard of him until recently.

          That said, if he’s part of the show, I really really really hope that this isn’t set up by Julia to make herself look good, comparatively. Because, Julia, if you know that you are that much of an asshole that bringing on one of the few bigger assholes than you to make you look less asshole-y, then you are an even bigger asshole than I previously thought.

          You and Tucker BOTH should spend some time volunteering in a battered women’s shelter.

        • “Not so much blame the victim, but if guys like this douche believe chicks think rape jokes are tee-hee cute and funny, what does that tell them about the seriousness of the crime? He should have been shamed and chastised for that comment by anyone who heard him say it or saw that Tweet…”

          THIS, Jacy! It’s disgusting that there was no pushback on the vile Tucker Max rape comment other than here at RBD.

          • Yup, totally. Crickets among the lot of them on his use of “rape” as a “funny” reference a paid-for date. So worth it!! Haha. It was $1,700, not $1,600; let’s focus on what’s important here!
            And for charity no less.
            How thrilled must the intended benefactor of this “licence to rape” money must be! Anyone know what charity the money is being given to?

  18. I am wondering if the result of this well-publicized encounter is going to be a sex tape, to be leaked just the week before the reality show premieres.

    It worked for Paris, it worked for Kim.

    Could it work for Donk?

  19. OT but being followed around by cameras 24/7 for weeks at a time does not sound like a 4 hour work week to me. Tim Ferris: You’re doing him wrong.

  20. What I don’t understand is what Julia thinks she hopes to gain from reality TV “stardom.” Her brief flirtation with internet fame (three years ago) left her with no fans, almost no NonSociety readers or commenters, fake Facebook friends and Twitter followers, and a “hate site.” Clearly, the public doesn’t like what it sees. People either don’t care, or – if they’ve heard of her – they actively dislike her. If she (and Dadsers) is so tormented by the existence of this site and the criticism it serves her in this tiny little corner of the Internet, how does she plan to deal with inevitable mockery and criticism her personality/behavior/plastic surgery/flip-flopping/hypocrisy/delusion/
    insecurity/arrogance will produce when she’s introduced to a wider audience that’s never before witnessed the donkey show?

    I’m honestly asking. What does she expect? She can’t possibly think she’ll garner fans and sponsorships, right? Or maybe she’ll get lucky and she’ll shill diet pills, like Snooki.

    She does realize that producers cast people in reality shows based on their innate ability to say stupid things, and infuriate, shock, and revolt audiences for the sake of ratings, right?

    • I think Julia Allison expects to be famous one day for the simple reason that she is Julia Allison and thus deserves it, because she, Julia Allison, is very special. No matter how much she flounders and fails, she will never recognize that she is at her core profoundly talentless and unlikable, all evidence to the contrary. Hope that helps!

    • She thinks what she always thinks — that she will be beloved and adored when people see how real and sassy and “honest” and funny and nice she is! She does not see herself as she is. And once again, this will be a soul-crushing foray into “fame.” She doesn’t really want to be famous; she wants to be famous and worshipped. It won’t happen and she will simply multiply the number of haters and detractors she has.

  21. Also I’m just going to add to the general chorus of rape jokes are never funny. And I think I have a pretty twisted and vulgar sense of humor, and also firmly believe that pretty much nothing is off limits to joke about. But anything related to violence against women? Not so funny.

    This whole thing though makes me really pretty satisfied. It’s honestly hilarious that she aligns herself with the absolute most obnoxious nefarious individuals simply becaue they are (in)famous and wealthy. She is quite literally, a prostitute. I’d respect her more for selling her body, at least that’s honest work. She’s heinous. And this is all probably a publicity stunt as well for her soon to be failed reality show. Good work!!!

    • I agree that there’s really no such thing as a rape joke. Maybe if Tucker Max’s asshole were the punchline I’d now crack a smile, but even then.

    • I’m in absolute agreement about these kinds of jokes never being funny. Just wanted to add that it goes for violence against men, as well.

      • (Just realized my comment could come across as trying to be holier than thou, JFA and wonkeye. I was adding in a “me too”.)

        Love ya. Mean it.

      • But it’s always the same people. It’s not like feminist separatists go around joking about men getting beaten up or getting raped in prison or whatever—it’s the same fucking douchebags who joke about women getting raped who make those jokes.

  22. So I went to the party.

    It was at Hudson Terrace, a pimped-out shithole famed throughout the charity circuit for the vile behavior of its owners and the nastiness of its staff (although the bartender I had was very sweet). There were expansive views of urban blight in all directions plus ¼ of the Intrepid. We missed the cool-kid open bar and my date was eager to decamp after ten minutes, but I had promised the catladies details and was determined to hold my position behind the enemy lines. I will have you all know that am not the sort of bitch who quietly judges other people. I am the sort of bitch who very loudly judges other people. But I zipped it just this once.

    Ellsberg himself was rather endearing, running around smiling and chatting, wearing a red smoking jacket and looking rather like a miniaturized version of himself as played by Michael Keaton; his wife was wearing what I can only describe as a dead chicken smashed flat and then molded over her tits. The other guests ran the gamut from duck-out-of-water to deer-in-the-headlights with a smattering of the lonely fanboy office schlump to fill out the odd corners. There were – truth be told – some cute young people there, but I think they were all married and gay.

    Hip, sensuous, sexy music wafted in the background, if by “Hip, sensuous, sexy music” you mean “bargain-bin salsa played at levels that would drown out airport traffic.” Halfway through the party the roof retracted, giving any lady with exposed shoulders the chance to catch cold and every apartment dweller within a 16-block radius a new reason to hate living there.

    I myself wore something fairly low-key and book-party-ish, figuring this would be a good way to blend into the background. Wrong. Evidently “sexy” in the entrepreneurial world means “dress like a stripper from the Star Wars cantina scene.” Aside from the bar hostess, the only other girl wearing anything normal was OMGBears, whose little black dress and conservative make-up made her stand out as if she’d been wearing a gold lame strap-on and a set of flamethrowers to the Pebble Beach Golf Club. When Julia showed up there was already so many new noses in the room she fit right in.

    I have to say it. The Julia I met 3-4 years ago was a very attractive woman. Julia now looks tired, unhealthy and far too pale. No worse than a lot of the other people there, to be sure—but far older than she is. She also acts far older than she is – the strident, constant activity that evokes the word “haggard” and which I had already encountered in gaggles while crossing the Theater District to get to the Terrace – what the Brits call the Luvvie. “Darling, sweetie, sooooooooo glad to see you, hacking cough, sputum, green gunk, blood!” Like that. Maybe Julia missed her calling. She could have been a very annoying person on Broadway, clutching at a boa and swinging long strings of costume jewelry into her sixth sidecar. Those people are ageless – just ask any 75-year old Judy Garland fan.

    Tucker Maxth thowed up nexth with hith cute little lithp. What a clathy fellow he ith. Tucker, if you are planning to sneak into the ladies room to take a shit because you’ve already gone into the men’s room and peed all over the toilet seat, you might not want to repeatedly broadcast that information to the room at large. PS: my eyes are…oh, forget it.

    The night took a bizarre turn when I bumped into someone I personally know, a museum board member who decided to attend the event so he could learn more about Twitter. In case you were wondering, museum people may be able to decode any number of dead languages to tell you about any number of circumcision ceremonies, but when it comes to new media/tech, they have just discovered Pong. “Does this mean I can get out of this hellhole?” was my date’s response. Yes. Yes, it does.

    I am pretty sure Mr. Museum Board has no idea this website or any of you lovely people exist, so he won’t mind my describing him here as a combination of Gomez Adams and John Pertwee’s Dr. Who. He also clearly had no fucking idea who anyone was or the slightest clue as to what was going on. He also appeared to have made the open bar. Several times over.

    None of this would make any difference if he hadn’t been the person to drive up the bid on Julia later that evening. This was perhaps the night’s biggest WTF moment for me personally. I accosted him afterward and asked “what were you bidding on her for?” (since I don’t think he, um, could profit by the experience). He said “It’s for charity!” This is the standard museum person response to a question about any insane thing you find them doing. “Why are you sticking a candy cane up your ass?” “It’s for charity!” Unless it is a famous artist sticking the candy cane up their ass. Then it’s for art.

    I decided not to tell him that nothing about this event appeared to be for charity, or any discernable human purpose, and instead muttered: “Well, you lost to Tucker Max” (the other WTF moment). Mr. MB said “Quite so! I must congratulate him!” Which was not what I intended to suggest he do.

    He came back from doing so with a very peculiar look on his face. “What did he say?” I asked. “Well, I congratulated him and said she seemed a charming girl, and he said he didn’t care and had only promised her he’d put in the top bid.” I think it was beginning to occur to him that this was not a MoMA Young Collectors event.

    Mr. MB left soon after and I followed suit. The irony is he would be perfectly able to hand Julia the mansion and a yacht lifestyle she claims to want. But she doesn’t want it. What she seems to want, like the Lady Eustace, is “a fast dash into vulgarity.” Which Tucker showed every evidence of providing her. Tucker’s rape tweet later was the pickled onion in her swirling martini of skewed ambitions, thwarted dreams, plunging standards and flight plans of last resort.

    I came away from the event profoundly depressed and newly aware of how sheltered I am by work and social factors. The people I meet are all pre-vetted by their own decisions/backgrounds and whether or not you find them irritating, they all adhere to some form of social code, however skeletal. The thought of being a young woman – or a young person – trying to maneuver one’s way through that toxic environment of continual OBO was extremely saddening. How do they do it? I think more and more of them can’t and don’t.

    ICray said it best: “She’s lost any purchase on the coattails of the tech group; this new load of hucksters, with far less to offer, is her perfect crowd. They’re all using each other as props while they spiral further down into the drain of busted has-beens, headed for the sewage strewn shore of irrelevance.”

    And I think this is where I must leave you, dear catladies. We’ve lived, we’ve learned, we’ve fought (a little), you wondered if I was a man or a woman, you failed to figure out that I’m a transsexual. But the joke is no longer funny and there isn’t going to be a happy ending.

    Ciao, Julia.

    “How that glittering taketh me.”

    • First, thank you, RRR. You’ve always been at least mildly sympathetic to Julia so I get why seeing her brought low would make you queasy. That said, you are hilarious and I hope you don’t leave permanently.

      I do agree that she appears to be in terrible health, whether it’s from the yo-yo dieting, the injections, the lack of sleep/exercise or the combination thereof — it’s sad.

      Also, are we to understand that her telling TM to put in the highest bid means she’s going to reimburse him? Like she’s bidding on herself? Good God.

    • Thanks, RRR…sounds like a depressing night spent with a bunch of clueless, pretentious, soulless assholes. Julia Allison has finally found her people!

    • Thank you for this. I think I love you.

      Swirling martini of skewed ambitions, thwarted dreams, plunging standards and flight plans of last resort.

    • We didn’t really fail to figure out if you were a transexual, we just don’t care what gender you are. Your writing & personality are all people really cared about! <3

    • Please stay on at GOMI, or at least tell us where else on the web we can e-stalk you! You have an incredible way with words.

    • #bestflounceevah Bye RRR. I no longer read GOMI but I shall miss you. Who’s gonna snark with me on those tech humps??

      *nose in air*

    • This is one of the best comments I’ve ever read on the internets. Does it make me sound dumb if I say this reminds me of The Great Gatsby?

        • I just don’t see this ending well. BP cleanses and Prom King are one thing, Tucker Max another and the downward trajectory is explicit and gruesome. She needs an intervention and I can’t give it to her, so what’s the point?

          Without accusing Tucker personally of anything, guys who crack rape jokes and guys who rape tend to have a high rate of being the same guys.

          I wasn’t invited to this particular wild party and I’m not sticking around for the end game.


        • I will forever be humbled by those like RRR who have genuine sympathy for Julia, or feel protective over her. You have a depth of compassion that I lack.

          I believe her to be an utterly wretched human being. I have never felt sorry for her in any way, nor do I think she has any chance of becoming an admirable person. I think she embodies the true essence of a user and a cunt and an self-serving opportunist who can and has thrown her own mother under the bus for attention. And that is just the tip of the iceberg on what she will do to thrust herself to the center of any stage that will have her.

          I think she is grotesque to look at because all I see are these things. I will forever be amazed that there is something attractive there that I simply cannot see.

          I don’t root for her rehabilitation because I believe that some people are just pieces of shit in the core of their being, and she is one of those people. I only hope that her core of shit consistently prevents her from getting what she thinks she entitled to out of life.

          But again, I think your outlook is much more compassionate and, frankly, humane. So good on you and godspeed.

          • I concur. She is a bad person. It reveals itself constantly. She tries to suppress the inner soulless cuntwitch, but she always fights her way out.

          • I have to agree with you. But I also would add sociopath to the list of bad qualities. And those people don’t change. Some people are just evil. She is one of those people.

          • JFA, what’s the difference between calling a highly destructive person who can’t change or help what they are “evil” and calling a person with Down’s Syndrome “stupid?”

            I don’t think people with DS are stupid – they have an actual disability. We’re learning a lot more about psychosis these days, so it might be that people like Julia will be cleary diagnosed as having similarly crippling problems.

            I think this is why I have always objected to the pile-drive on her. I think she is ill. Whereas someone like Matt Beauchamp or Tucker Max or Loren Feldman is in full possession of his faculties and goes explicitly out of his way to be as hateful as possible.

            Let’s leave aside the fact that Julia fails at every level at being the baddie and the three cretins I mentioned are rewarded or at the very least given a pass for their behavior.

    • Come on the joke is still funny. See you’ve always sorta liked her, so I guess you are sad that she’s just so pathetic now, is that it? I view it instead as comeuppance, and I feel free to laugh at it. She deserves it.

    • I actually did figure out you are transsexual but never brought it up because that’s not what one does really. I have many trans friends and so what.

      I will miss your comments, though.

      • Eek. I intended that as a joke. I see it was in poor taste and I apologize.

        I just found the back-and-forth about my gender amusing as I actually don’t think about it when I write and don’t “hear” a gender in my authorial voice. Although I thought it was perfectly obvious that I’m actually a Mark Zuckerberg apologizes for interrupting this transmission. He was looking for cookies.

        • Haha. The joke is on me. I won’t say why i thought this because oh my god the minutiae of what goes on here is pretty horrifying (in a good way!), but yeah.

          Gender is just a construct anyway LOL.

    • “Hip, sensuous, sexy music wafted in the background, if by ‘Hip, sensuous, sexy music” you mean “bargain-bin salsa played at levels that would drown out airport traffic.'” Very funny stuff; this deserves its own post.

    • Pulitzers have been won for less! Stay, RRR, stay. I’ll fix dinner. Something lovely and gluten free.

    • omg RRR you are one of the absolute BEST things about this site/cite/sight. Thank you for all the really clever, funny, well-written comments over the years. And please change your mind and stay!

      • I’ll add my name to this chorus as well. Great recap, RRR, and probably very close to what any of us here would have imagined. But you’re worth far more than $1,600 to this site! In fact, Jacy has authorized me to be the highest bidder at $1,700!
        I can totally understand your disinclination to further dally with this tool in any way shape or form; something like a friend who “wishes to remain anonymous” at an event you’re attending together. You’ll be sorely missed tho. But don’t go, this site isn’t really about donkeys, it’s about us, the nonsociety basement dwelling cat collectors, we’re the real reason all of us are here. JABa’s just the braying catalyst.

        • RRR, you’re leaving because you found out what an asshole Julia Allison is, and now you’re deeply disillusioned? Did you seriously not know this before the book party last night???

          • I’m leaving because watching her tool around with OMGBears and watching her tool around with Tucker Max are two very different things.

        • Adding my name to the “Please Don’t Leave the Basement” petition.

          RRR, don’t go because of her, stay because of us!


    • RRR, my sides hurt from laughing at your scathingly brilliant report! I was going to quote some of your best lines here in my comment, but I might as well copy/paste the whole thing — it’s a masterpiece, truly. It belongs in our comment hall of fame. I’m gonna miss you, bunny.


    • RRR – I gasped, ‘NOOOOOOOOO!!’ and of course those around me thought I just read a horrible obituary. Please don’t go.

  23. JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Let me be crystal clear: I do not support @TuckerMax’s jokes about rape. They are absolutely unacceptable.
    1 minute ago

      • Yes, she is absolutely lying. If she really had a sincere “crystal clear” objection to Tucker Max’s HAHAHA RAPE JOKE there would have been a knee-jerk reaction to it, an instantaneous condemnation. But instead, she gleefully played along by tweeting to the New York Observer that she’s $1700 worth of awesome woo-hoo!!!

      • Seriously. Because she’s standing on a bully pulpit. Honey everyone already knows you’re an asshole. Don’t bother clarifying. God reading her twitter stream is like a lesson in banality. The shit she finds relevant and/or funny is just so sadly boring and pathetic.

      • If you look at the at Twitter responses, any cries about her crass response to the rape tweet are drowned out by sponsored tweets for her stupid dry shampoo video. Of COURSE she reads here.

        • How do you see her twitter responses? I am newish to twitter and every so often I try to figure it out…then run away. This time I think I wanna actually use it.

        • Are those bots posting that Tresemme AND @juliaallison are giving away $500? Cuz I thought Donkey was trying to WIN the $500 grift card for herself …

          • How is she promoting the product? By making overly long, not very informative videos about how they basically forced it on her many times over, and saying she ‘might’ use it? Julia Allison! Giving away product she basically hates and only uses because they twisted her arm!

            Fucking retarded.

    • It’s amusing that she is female and feels the need to broadcast to the world she finds Tucker Max’s comments about rape unacceptable. Ladies of RBD! I await hearing your stance on the issue lest I assume you are all secretly asking for it!

      What’s wrong Julia? Did your mother bitchslap you hard enough to knock your moral compass into alignment?

      • This. So much this.

        And the thing is, Julia (because you’re certainly not reading here), is that it’s not just his rape jokes. It’s everything Tucker Max stands for. It’s disgusting that not only have you only said his rape jokes are “unacceptable” but that you are falling all over yourself to befriend/bed/latch onto the “fame” of this man who embodies so much about what is dangerous to women in our society. You, who has used your own supposed rape and your mother’s rape as a means to gain sympathy and esteem, are shameful for so many reasons but this reason especially.

  24. I also love how she is totally willing to give up any bullcrap ideals she claims to have against rape in order to point out that, in fact, it was $1700 she sold herself for, get it right! Oh, you just can’t help being a gigantic asshole, can you.

    • It should have been automatic revulsion. If she had any wit, integrity or ideas of her own, she would have cut him down on Twatter with a succinct, angry take-down. Imagine the props she would have gotten for that. God, to be that educated, to have all those opportunities, and to still be a clueless fuck.

    • Did she twelete the tweet? It doesn’t seem to be there anymore, replaced with a comment about how she absolutely does not agree with TM’s douchebaggery.

    • Exactly. She is vile. And bullfuckingshit she was ever raped. No rape victim’s automatic response to that Tweet would be to quibble about the price. Awful, soulless, unprincipled, dishonest, DUMB weasel of a human being.

    • @kl_scott @CapHillStyle – I did not hear Tucker make that statement to the reporter, nor did I condone it. Focus your blame on rapists.

      Hmm, you didn’t hear Tucker make the comment, yet you retweeted the NY observer tweet and corrected the $$ amount.
      these lies, I CAN NOT.

      • So Julia Allison is calling the NY Observer reporter a liar? What is his name, Drew Grant?

        LOL. Julia Allison = pyromaniac of bridges.

      • Prof.-The reporter seemed to suggest in her article that JA wasn’t nearby when Max originally told his “joke.” But she certainly read the quote when NYO retweeted and posted a correction, so she isn’t blameless simply because she didn’t hear it first hand.

        Also, I was so bemused and upset by her behavior on Twitter, I had to write another blog post about it. http://ow.ly/6KbLv

        Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go feed the cats and chill another box of wine cause this one’s spent.

        • I’m glad you wrote both of those posts, Belle. Julia just cannot accept responsibility for perpetuating a rape joke, and she continues her string of lies in her blog comments.

          do you condone Tucker Max’s rape comment?

          Of course not. It was ridiculous and inappropriate.
          I wasn’t within earshot when it was said, or I would have told the reporter how horrible I thought it was.

          but you retweeted the offending comment.

          No, I didn’t. I tweeted back to the New York Observer – who tweeted that out – that they had the dollar amount wrong. I thought it was pretty obvious that I wouldn’t condone such a comment, especially about ME. Because it didn’t seem to be obvious, I tweeted the next day, when I woke up, that I clearly did not appreciate nor condone that comment made by Tucker.

          LIES! “I thought it was pretty obvious that I wouldn’t condone such a comment, especially about ME.” SO SHE COULD CONDONE RAPE COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE?!

          NOTE: she would have told the reporter she was horrified in order to save face. she doesn’t say she would have denounced tucker max to his face.

          Julia Allison Baugher, liar, grifter, fraud, anti-feminist, stupid, always wrong about what is “obvious”.

          • Bullshit. To all of it. Had she overheard it she would have smacked his arm playfully and issued the correction in person. She would not, however, under any circumstances, have condemned the comment, or she would have done so once she became aware of it IN PRINT for all the internet to see.

            Jesus fuck… the more I think about her upping the price, the more I think she is one of those sick fucking individuals who say shit like, “A woman who gets raped/sexually harassed ought to consider it a compliment.” Like she is saying, “Tee hee! He paid $1700 just for the opportunity to force himself into my clam dungeon! I’m tho thexy! I’d like to thank the Academy, Dr. Bobby, Trethamee, and God!”

          • What’s the time range from NYO tweet to Donkey RT — where does her breakfast date / egg debate fall w/in all of that, since she mentions ‘when I woke up’ or whatever …?

          • Ah ha …

            JuliaAllison: @NewYorkObserver – it was $1700!!
            from Donk-Twatter – 12:53 AM (20 hours ago)

            JuliaAllison: Are eggs considered dairy? @TuckerMax & I are having a debate. I say “yes.” He cackles “no!” – 12:53 AM (20 hours ago)

          • Also WHO FUCK CARES if you didn’t retweet the actual comment? How could you have, it was IN THE FUCKING PAPER? YOU RETWEETED THE QUOTING OF IT. Goddamnit. I cannot deal with her insanity.

          • Seriously. I can’t even. I’m seeing red. Red. Red is all around me. Gonna go get a little air. Brb.

          • Her legalese at this point is astounding. If you weren’t wrong bitch, why’d you erase the tweet? Asshole.

      • Deflect attention for your own assholery. Lather rinse repeat. She is 12 years old.

        Whenever she tries to explain anything she comes off looking like an even BIGGER dick. God at least be good at lying asshole, you do it all the time.

    • That article…wow. Did he basically just admit he has raped a drunk woman in that article? Goddamnit. This is low even for Julia Allison. Everyone is always talking about her impending breakdown but maybe it’s actually happening. There is no excuse for associating with someone like this.

      • Jesus Christ…she looks like Michael Jackson in that photo…where’s he’s dead on a gurney. Bitch is ill.

          • The paleo diet sounds miserable to me, because it seems like a ton of arbitrary rules. The paleo diet with no meat seems potentially dangerous, because you can’t eat beans or processed foods to get protein. Most of the paleo people I know are really into weightlifting, so it’s a little more appropriate. Julia is such a follower!

    • Interesting how no one outside of NYC media cared to tweet or comment on that story, even 4 hours after it was published. And, at the time I’m writing this, 1/4 of those who cared enough happens to Julia Allison Baugher.

    • Whose friends will receive copies of the book The Education of Millionaires: It’s Not What You Think and It’s Not Too Late for Xmas, Donkey’s or Fucker’s? My money is on Julia Allison hoofing that $1,700 tab.

      Is that what it’s come to, Donkey, you are now paying out more than $1,600+ to get a dude to fuck you a 2nd time? Whatever happened to 11.5 dates?

    • “one of the first “Facebook people” (who wished to remain anonymous and wasn’t in The Social Network) and several of her friends. She was letting Julia Allison crash at her place”

      too fucking late now, Meagan Marks, Julia already twatted your name all over the place and posted a video of the dinner party at your house.
      ps. MEAGAN MARKS

      • Something tells me she didn’t ask to remain anonymous in the story until after the party. Oh, the shame. The whole event (red smoking jacket? selling people?) reeks of the fact money can’t buy you taste. These clowns got their perception of rich people from Monopoly.

        • She didn’t want to really find the Donkey at BM either. As “friends” they could have coordinated meeting up while there. Curious.

    • Ha. I’d like to give whoever tagged those photos a pat on the back for not feeding the most flagrant famewhores.

    • they all look really terrible.

      Was this the super exclusive party? looks like a bore.

    • Ok I hate myself for knowing this but I think the girl in the green shirt with cans and the pixie haircut is the Observer reporter, Drew Grant.
      And yes. What a snooze fest. Also, was Julia the ONLY person auctioned off? That’s just weird.

        • “Drew Grant is a pop culture consumer and producer with a specialty in fan fiction. She majored in comic books at Oberlin College, where she once taught a class on “Twin Peaks” a decade after the show ended.”

          Dear Drew,

          May I recommend the bowl of hot dicks?



      • No, according to ace reporter, Drew Grant, there were “between 3-4 people” auctioned.

        It depends on how you define people I guess.

          • And this auction was not for charity, but instead for copies of the book, so the money goes straight into Ellsberg’s pocket? I know I sound dense but I just don’t get it. Why???? WHY!!!!??? why……?

          • @sd

            And not for charity, but for COPIES of a book. Not one. Because if you are a fancy rich person you want to own multiple copies of the same book. One for the shitter in your gold-plated airplane, one for the little place in Aspen you take the goomah to, one for the Lambo, etc.

            Piecing together the whole night has been sporadic and difficult but we’re blessed to have RRR’s version.

            At first I imagined “Chickentits” as a bikini with a chicken foot each covering each nipple, but I re-read and while I still can’t totally put it together in my mind’s eye, I am enjoying imagining a flat chicken corpse and doing an AutoCAD rotate/swivel/zoom/move exercise over a buxom wireframe female model.

            Brains! Good for more than just thinking about shoes!

          • If you look in the PMC photos she is listed as “Jenna ?” and is wearing a bodice made of chicken feathers.


          • That was all Professor FC this morning. I’ve been laughing so hard about it all day I thought maybe I could get it out of my head this way.

            It’s not working. My only recourse is to slag through some disgusting Google Image results in search of a good “Ironic Fisting” avatar.

          • Ironic enough?

        • Oh I just meant that there were even more pictures of her there than just the ones on that initial page PFC linked to.

        • At first, I thought someone was just poking a donkey. As Pink Ruffled Cheese pointed out below, there really is an Alana Winter — and she was at that same party.

          It’s proof that Julia has forked up her face beyond recognition, even to the “normies” who don’t hang around with us fat, jelly, basement-dwelling types.

          • i think the photographer or whoever just was not paying attention. other people are mislabeled as well, tucker max is a question mark, and the author’s own wife (jena) is just “jenna” or ??.

          • They really really did a sloppy job–on the other hand, the guests’ personalities were so rank I can’t blame the photog for basically doing a smile-and-nod and getting out ASAP.

            The chap in the blue jacket and the girl with him were very nice, however.

  25. “Student loans are the only kind of loan that you can’t default and declare bankruptcy on,” said Mr. Ellsberg

    Not entirely accurate — student loans can be discharged due to formal disability, but anyway, WTF w/ a mindset that smacks of future bankruptcy plans as a safety net?

  26. Whatever, you guys. Focus your blame on the rapists. Not on Julia, she is the BEST. really cute and genuine and sweet and thoughtful and nice.

  27. There is only one funny rape-joke:

      • The only words I have re: the recent donkey show are unbecoming of my delicate nature, so I will use this space to say that best of ’90s and 00’s SNL are streaming on Netflix as well as Arrested Development. Yay.

        All Netflix was offering was Saw: Final Cut (or whatever it was called) and, ugh, Cary Elwes, Tobin Bell AND Powder Guy were not worth it although I did watch the entire movie. (I had HOPE, finally).

        I am currently feasting upon jambalaya (from Chef Zatarain & farms of Hillshire) and watching a great lot of Celebrity Jeopardy parodies. Thank you, catladies, for reminding me to deeply search my Netflix queue.

        I’m sure it’s a metaphor for something deeper but as I didn’t have the SO BLESSED MOMENT of the BM RV or ashram I still don’t know how to process it all. xo.

        • I am also reading a great lot of Rick Moody whose use of italics I don’t always get so italics will abound until I figure out what is going on with all the italics in Demonology, I tolerated them in Brightest Ring of Angels Around Heaven and Ice Storm but sometimes they feel ridiculous and make me place the hardcover book face down and then I am compelled to kill zombies instead of reading literature

          Any other Rick Moody fans in our basement?

    • Been there, done that.


      Also, (shockingly violent imagery evoked by the) subject matter aside, this (juvenile and tasteless) joke doesn’t even work, because the portmanteau can’t be constructed without the aid of a shoehorn and/or sledgehammer. The natural result of combining analyst and therapist would be analapist or theralyst.

      So, it looks like your quest continues. Feel free to not keep trying, though, and don’t forget to press that “Learn” button! I did. 😉

      • Sorry, not trying to be a buzzkill. I’ve got a guilty conscience over posting a “funny” comment in that previous thread. My eyes have been opened today (seriously).


      • I don’t think rape is funny. These jokes are plays on the word; on the inappropriate use of the word “rapist” – in a way that the subject is not a rapist but is unfortunately labeled as such – even accidentally self-labeled.

        If you notice – I commented on the thread you linked, as well. I don’t think rape is funny – but the two situations linked, I find very funny – and they do not have to do with rape, just the inappropriate use of the word.

        But, I am open to criticism if people felt I was over the line. I welcome the feedback!

        • Now that I think about it further – your point is fair. I made a bad joke after a series of serious comments. Her “I was there” tweet really did make me comment for the first time, so please don’t ever think of me as one who is okay with rape jokes. I’m just insensitive. I blame my parents! No, no – it’s just me. I’m pressing “LEARN” button now. 🙂

          Please accept my apology in the form of an excellent stew recipe:

  28. Julia never ceases to amaze me. Reasons like this are why I will never like her nor pity her. She is too disgusting to deserve any attention. Her bad karma is her life.

    PS – Tucker Max, like come on…. really?

    • I’m not leaving because of the site or anyone here. I can’t laugh at Julia’s life anymore. She’s crossed a line into a disaster area. Part of it is personal experience for me. I don’t want to witness this.

      • Well even if you can’t fo the JA thing will you stay… just to hang out? I went through a similar ‘I
        cant watch this anymore ‘ thing and stopped commenting for a while but just came by to chillax with my fellow basement dwellers. Or as others have said where else can I/we follow you? I LOVE your writing and sensibility… and I want to keep reading you!

  29. YOU GUYS.

    I don’t know why this didn’t occur to me before. Mr. Museum Board pointed something out (in a phone call to me where he also pointed out numerous other things) (mostly unflattering).

    Ellsberg put people up for auction – which is tacky, but sometimes happens for charity purposes (Mr. MB automatically assumed it was a charity simply BECAUSE IT WAS AN AUCTION). But Ellsberg pocketed the money himself. Given that this becomes a commercial transaction and that the PR for the event was full of sexually-geared language, this would appear in effect to be a form of procurement (regardless of what Ellsberg or his participating auction items intended).

    In other words, he may actually be guilty of pimpin’ out Julia’s ass. Also his wife’s.

    Mr. MB wanted me to point out a few other things; he’s not a lawyer, nor did he go to Princeton, so he is not absolutely certain that the above constitutes an infraction of the law; he knows what Twitter is; he was there to solicit interest in his organization among younger entrepreneurs, a segment of the population they are targeting for funding purposes, and was quite disappointed with the specimens on display; he was absolutely horrified by Tucker’s joke in the Observer; Tucker “needs to be horse-whipped”; he thought the reporter was “trashy”; “Miss Allison’s morals appear not to be what they ought;” we all need to get a fucking life; and he will put a candy cane up his ass any time he damn pleases.

    Okay, I made the last bit up. What he actually said was “well, I suppose I should be thankful you didn’t tell them all how fat I’m getting.” Which is true. I didn’t say a single thing about how GODDAM FAT HE’S GETTING.

    So, MB! Brunch at the Beekman this weekend?


  30. It makes me sad to make fun of Julia but I really like the writing here. Baugher started it all- so brilliant. I wish I knew where else I could read rrr, baugher and others ’cause I may have to quit Julia soon. 🙁

  31. It really is all about the writing. Maybe Mr. Museumpants should hop on board; everyone needs a hobby.

  32. RRR, I wish we could have an affair in some other venue. Alas, this is the only site (besides GOMI, and rarely there) where I comment, not to mention you don’t know me from a hot bowl of tinety Matt Beauchamp dicks. I am SO fond of you.

    • I don’t know about loving RRR (I think s/he has many redeeming qualities but I’m not prepared to commit), but I would love to meet the museum dude, if he exists.

  33. This particular deplorable situation has served as my “a-ha moment” with regards to JA, so I’m delurking to ask: is it naive to think that, with all of the resources and effort currently being devoted to improve her physical appearance, fund cross-country travel and retain legal representation, some of that cash might be better spent on good crisis PR council? It’s not enough just to delete a Tweet co-signing a rape joke when you’re a public figure. She could start with a heartfelt public apology and clock some serious time volunteering for battered or sexually abused women. (After typing all that, I think I *am* being naive. Never mind. I’m new here – be gentle.)

    • Welcome! Julia has a PR rep already (http://www.susanblondinc.com/page.aspx?page=client_history see under personalities), an agent, tons of botted twitter followers and probably has contracted with reputation defender to bury/kill bad internet references, plus all the things you mentioned.

      The sad part is that she still comes off looking/sounding despicable; but imagine what she would look like without her reputation mercenaries. Maybe like this:

    • And she has her creepy lunatic Dadsers who sends out cease & desist letters and harasses people (the wrong people!) at their workplace. Donkey has a mile-wide self-destructive streak so there’s no amount of PR control that can help her.

    • Welcome! Hope you will stay a while. I think it’s fascinating when people have there a-ha moment and this weeks’ episode was a doozy.

  34. She’s baiting us, right? Julia Price probably walks among us …

    JuliaAllison: Post-concert dinner w college roomie, then watched Chris Rock’s HBO documentary “Good Hair” with @JuliaPriceMusic. Hysterical & fascinating.

  35. Fallout tally from JA’s massively productive week in the big apple? Ms. Mark’s couch now needs to be sterilized, Ellsberg’s book launch will forever be associated with raping women (hey Michael, your new-found parasitic “friend” brings so much class to your life, eh? You owe Ferris a hostess gift!), Gloria Steinem feels Tucker Max and JA should marry…after a mandatory spay-and-neuter.

  36. When Tucker Max says $1,600 is fair for a good raping, does it not sound a bit like he’s paying someone to rape him?

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