The terribly ill Julie Albertson went for another hike in L.A. today and then tried on potential footwear for her upcoming Burning Man adventure, pulling slutty stripper boots onto her fetid post-hike hooves. Oh boy this is going to be good. She has no idea what to wear, and whatever she chooses, it will be woefully wrong, as most of her wardrobe choices are.

Post-hike, trying on RIDICULOUS boots for Burning Man at a stripper shop on Sunset Blvd. Um … Yeah. Wow.

And check out the shoes in the stripper store. It might as well be Donkey’s closet.


  1. With all of the sand and heat at Burning Man, those hooves will reek in either of those boots. How will she attract a rich guy smelling like rotting garbage?

      • I looked up Burning Man costumes on Etsy and this was the second result.


        Time to ask for your Halloween costume back from your intern, Jules!

      • Forget it, Donks, you’re never going to look as good in those boots as this dude.


        And in case you’re thinking of pairing them with a pink tutu, yawnsers! Been there, done that, brought the spirit gum for the areolae.


        There is a much higher bar to getting looked at in Black Rock City than there is in Chi-town, honey.

        • Image fail! The first picture was supposed to be this guy:


          • Ha, I used to be a member of his webcam community, when the whole Kacie scandal went down. Nice guy, a bit extreme with the love and rainbows and sparkles 4life, but also doesn’t get butt hurt and run crying when people dont like him.

          • I followed him for a couple of years, but don’t know the Kacie scandal. I lost track of Tassy after she became a 24/7 submissive. I can’t imagine she’s still with that guy, though.

          • Bri – zomg CitizenX! LOL, those were the days. Halycon was definitely always a sweetie; I daresay he led the rainbows, unicorns, positivity, love thing (genuinely) before it became a moneymaking new age-y bandwagon deal.

          • I skipped many a class to play on CitizenX! I was an ambassador and everything! Back when FTP webcams were totally acceptable.

            Kacie Nicole was that girl who said she had cancer and got Halcyon really involved, took donations, then died suddenly….and turned out to be some woman who’d stolen some pictures and created a whole fake persona. Was a big blow up at the time.

          • Kaycee Nicole, for those who want to Google it (not a spelling correction for the sake of spelling correction!)

    • Her costume MUST BE a Danielle Staub number, right?? I mean, they are dead. ringers.

  2. Good thing she’s so graceful and ballet dancer like with all that ashramatic yoga experience to draw. She’s going to need all the balance she can muster to totter around the sands in those monstrosities.
    Remember Julia to draw on your inner Tiny Dancer.

    • Well, her face and soul will never look great so I guess it evens out. Plus you are correct, it will never last.

    • She looks fitter than usual, yeah, but weirdly red and puffy in the faceular region. Whatever, she’d be a reasonably attractive person if she hadn’t mangled herself trying to be movie-star gorgeous. PHYSICALLY, THAT IS. The minute the mouth opens and the braying starts, all bets are off.

  3. I know I’ve said it before, but she really is a weird female version of Michael Alig.
    Pretty sure she owns this dress…
    And these shoes…

  4. Why doesn’t she just save her time/effort/credit card debt and simply recycle her lovely Wal-Mart Blunder Woman outfit?


        • I went to a club because a friend of a friend was performing there, and the person right before her came on with a skateboard and used it in her act. It worked surprisingly well, but I found it odd. At one point she lay on the skateboard on her back and scooted around so the punters sitting around the stage thrust could have a little boob parade.

          I am not someone who generally patronizes strip clubs, so I don’t know how common it is, but the skateboards on the wall in that store look like they were chosen for their bright colors rather than their shreddability?

          • Anyway, the skateboard thing kind of took the shine off the FOAF’s “film noir” gimmick, though a fedora is surprisingly useful in a strip routine, who knew?

  5. i think her brayn process is as follows:
    Burning Man is wacky and strange
    These boots are wacky and strange
    Therefore, these boots are appropriate for Burning Man. I would bet good money that she expects Burning Man to be the Greenwich Village Halloween parade.

  6. There isn’t internet access on the playa, right? So sad that we won’t get updates in realtime, but I guess a fun game I can play when Irene knocks the power out is “Imagine Donkey at Burning Man.”

  7. Also, aren’t all the stripper stores on Hollywood Boulevard? Like, block after block of them?

      • So does A Donkey just not know how to spell? Or did she find the one stripper store on Sunset (which eluded my Google) and ignore the eight or ten on Hollywood?

          • She fails at San Francisco, too. I assume she also fails at Chicago and New York.

  8. I have so many awesome words of advice on costuming that I would totally share with a virgin burner. I will keep my mouth closed until after she is gone, though, then list it so we can laugh about what she failed to pack.

    Also, not gonna lie, I have pink fuzzy boots I wear out there, but they’re different and sooooo totally awesome. Again, I will save that secret for the time being. I also wear big old stomping boots like that, but there is a trick to it. Also, a few years ago the playa was inordinately dry due to no rains that year (so dry people had serious trouble biking and opted to walk – biking was like peddling in molasses) and I after falling on my ass several times – while sober, in the middle of the day – just trying to walk to the portapottie, I had to put them aside in favor of more sensible shoes for the rest of the burn. I have to stress that I had worn these boots for three or four years prior with nary a single problem – so I was an experienced playa platfrom rocker. It the mounds of soft playa were just soooo unstable beneath our feet. For love of my friends out there, I hope for better conditions. For hatred of Donkey I hope it is like treading through quicksand.

    • Hah! There is a picture of me in that author’s book!

      Err. I mean, there would have been if my fat ass ever left the basement.

      Thanks for the article. Interesting read.

    • I know. If anyone else ever told a lie this huge, they’d hide out for days. But her narcissism and attention seeking behavior won’t rest. Her followers in Afghanistan need to see her in the Muppet boots!

    • The woman in the background of this picture is giving her a major bish plz, it’s like she knows! Well done.
      And JABa is all, “Paris trip? Oh I had to cancel that ages ago. Are you still talking about that? Move on. Nobody cares.”

  9. What’s the big deal about hikes? I’ve never been on one ever. I will settle for being a gym rat any day of the week.

    I hope she does more crazy shit because I’m getting quite bored at home. So far just real heavy rain by me. We’ve taken atleast 10 inches from our pool so far. Still can’t get over that the wench didn’t bother to even tweet well wishes or concern for her sisters and “friends” in NY. Asshole.

    • I think the hikes are always a “Yoooo hooo Codename TK, remember our hikes in Runyon Canyon?????”

      I think she is always secretly hoping to run into him there. IMO.

      And yes, major cuntitude in not caring about anyone in NYC. Then again, she goes by the motto that if it’s not happening to her, it’s really not happening = does not matter.

    • Wait, how do you take rain out of a pool?

      (“Bored” is a pretty good way to be during a hurricane. Hope you yawn through the whole thing!)

  10. Ok, ya’ll, I’m kind of freaking out about the storm now. I came upstate with the dog and (real) cat, but my catman insisted on staying in Brooklyn to monitor leaks. Our apartment is one (1) block from Zone A, and now fucking Lonny Quinn on CBS 2 is going on and on about tornadoes. Meanwhile, upstate is not much better – everyone is predicting massive numbers of trees down and no power tomorrow. A couple of my gays are up here with me but – not to be stereotypical or anything – they went to a Stevie Nicks concert about 30 minutes away. (Shakes fist!)

    • Gah. Stay safe and dry. Here in mighty mighty Bosston, we are getting buckets of sky vomit in the rain variety.

    • Look danger in the face & be brave!
      (I feel ya; I’m the biggest weenie during storms)

    • You’ll be fine. I’m upstate too—cable usually goes out. But it’s better than being in the city—your dude should have stuck with you.

    • Just remember these people make their money by making things seem dire, dire doom doom. My mother is in NC, right near the water near Jacksonville. Her power is out and she has a tree down, but she got through it just fine, I. A trailer.

      The big thing with the ne, I think, is that you guys just don’t get these too often and do nothing is built for it. Tornados aren’t rampant, mostly it will be wind and a ton of rain and probably some flooding.

      Deep breath, be sure you have plenty of water, it is almost never the worst case scenario the whether people go on about.

    • Fashion Girl, I was watching CBS 2 and freaking out as well. I can handle the power outages, etc., but the thought of my roof coming off scares the shit out of me. I set up a little storm shelter in our storage room in the basement, in case I have to drag my 3 kids down there if things get really awful. Fuck this is going to be a tough 24 hours! at least!! stay safe, lady!

      • You’re not kidding!!! I’ve been watching the 30 – 40 pines right next to my house sway like giants dancing last night. We were also evacuated from where we were on vacation. I felt like I slept with one eye open all night with all the banging, creaking, groaning, and pelting rain.

        • Me too, DirtyLake….I woke up at least once an hour, checking to see if my house was still standing.

        • Oh lordy, I’m trying not to imagine your trees! When I camped at Lake of the Pines last spring, where trees are 100 ft tall, give or take, it was incredible to see / hear the noise & sway that just a slight, steady breeze evoked.

          • In the light of day, I see one of them came down. A foot away from our house. There’s one I’m watching that has me terrified because it could easily envelope our house and part of my neighbors. If it doesn’t come down on its own, I’m getting it cut down.

        • My home is currently the biggest post-storm attraction in the neighborhood, because our big ol’ tree snapped at the base and toppled over. It is the only tree that was downed in our entire subdivision. It is, in fact, a celebritree.

          We’ve hated that fucking POS tree for YEARS! It literally showers syrup on our cars all summer, and all the surrounding shrubs look like they’re sprouting frosted flakes.

          We watched last night in amazement, as it slowly bent away from the house and down onto the front lawn, like an old man falling out of bed 🙂 It overhangs a bit into the street and a corner of the driveway, but not enough to really inconvenience anybody.

          Our good luck must be attributed to all those good thoughts sent out by you catfrendz. I hope everybody fared just as well as we did. Hugs all around!


          • This is such a wonderfully well-written and funny comment, I just had to tell you I loved it. You’re a fantastic writer.

            ” …It is, in fact, a celebritree.”

            Just genius. There are so many great writers in this catladee community, and you are one of them. Thanks so much.

            PS I also love: “We’ve hated that fucking POS tree for YEARS! “

          • Oh, wow! My day? Totally made. Also, my week. Thanks, Fameless, that was so nice to read.

            P.S. Harvey says that you shouldn’t concern yourself about what he gets up to when you’re not paying attention. You’ll sleep much better that way.


    • Thanks everybody. I should really stop watching the news but it’s totally addictive. (Btw, if I hear one more time about how “the wind is blowing so hard it’s physically painful” to friend-of-donkey Kristin Thorne: blech. And: here she is again.)

      Be safe!

      • I think someone said it best when they said, the news is in this to make money — so to have all this super scary reporting drives up ratings. Doesn’t mean your fears are not legit or you shouldn’t be prepared just don’t let it make you too nuts or lose a nights sleep. xoxoxo

      • Does she by chance mean that it’s hurting her so
        heavily-hairsprayed-that-it’s-bullet-proof head?

      • [img]http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqlhb1SP9P1ql5yr7o1_400.gif[/img]
        But, seriously – praying for y’all!

    • Not trying to make light of the situation (I’m cowering in Manhattan right now), but a Stevie Nicks concert in an intense rainstorm sounds so freaking awesome.

    • DJ Mayonnaise Hands is the Jerkwad of the Century. Go away and play in your sandbox, child.

      • I’ve met Miss Buggs before and she is really sexy and ineffably talented. Which is why it really bugs me (no pun intended) to see she’s working with that fucking tool David Pierce.

    • Fuckface posted the same lameass comment on the last post, as though we wouldn’t be the least bit suspicious of OMGClickHereNow!! links posted by strangers. Guess this idiot doesn’t realize that we actually recognize each other here in this community.

  11. That is a high impact video with plenty of solid, hard-hitting, no-nonsense, take no prisoners, smoke ’em if you get ’em, get jiggy with it, throw the baby out with the bathwater kind of hurricane advice. Thanks.

  12. See, this is the part she will FAIL at:
    “Burners are expected to arrive with everything they need to survive a week of desert camping, including food, water and shelter.”

    She can barely get a costume together in time, and always misses her flights. Anyone expect Jankles to be able to sustain herself for a week in the desert?! heh

  13. One of my coworkers is going to Burning Man. I told her “If you see Julia Allison there be sure to make donkey noises and flip her off.”

    My coworker said “Who is Julia Alison?”

    I hugged her.

    • http://sites.google.com/site/mysticsofburningman/home/mystic-roster-2011

      She is part of a HUGE theme camp.

      What this means:

      * She won’t have to do too much walking if she doesn’t want to, because she is on the Esplanade. Think of the Esplanade as the Vegas strip — all the biggest clubs and camps are there, and the night action is focused there. Although during the day the action is usually diffuse, she will probably be sitting around being handed mojitos during that time rather than explore all the awesome things the other realms have to offer.

      * She will not have to worry about food, because they probably have food shifts set up, in addition to the usual sharing, and they will surely have an excess of water.

      * They will have a good shower, and a decent gray water system worked out. You can’t be an Esplanade theme camp if you don’t fill out a huge explanation of what you are bringing to the event (as far as ‘participation’) and how you will cover the asses of your huge camp. Whatever they ‘do’ to be on the esplanade, she will surely just use that as barter/bragging rights. “Come to our camp tomorrow! We will be doing this, at this time.” All the brag, none of the slag.

      * There will be tons of girls there who will help her survive costuming and what not.

      So basically, she will make it the whole time, and come back gushing about what a ‘life altering experience’ it was, but for all the wrong reasons others do. Like I said before: waited on and adored — the life she believes she deserves.

      Note from that page — she hasn’t paid her ‘dues’ for the right to camp there, yet.

        • I mentioned to my friend that she is going (said friend doesn’t know who she is, and has never visited this sight/cite/site, but has heard me gripe) and said, “Meh. She will have sand in her vagina, Esplanade or not.”

          • CB — Like I said in the comments on the last post, sex at Burning Man is dirty business. There just isn’t such a thing as a ‘clean anything’ out there after a day or two, much less a clean fuck.

            However, it can be dirty, dirty, ass-slappingly hot dirty business, because you have to kind of let go of the inhibitions and just go all animal style. Everyone around you being so free also leads you to do shit you never thought you’d do… like fuck in a camera obscura.

            *me stares off in space*

            What was I saying?

            Nevermind… I need to go… umm… do something.

          • Re: “Everyone around you being so free also leads you to do shit you never thought you’d do”

            Another friend was washing feet at Burning Man a few years back (I didn’t ask…), and discovered he was bisexual.

  14. Realistic outcomes for Burning Donkey:
    1) She will get one look at an RV and make lame excuses probably involving having serious ladee bidness to attend to and being so very sick! Will crash on Randi couch all week twitter bitching about how much she really, really wanted to go to BM.
    2) Donkey’s RV mates will lose patience and kick her out before they even make it to playa (hell, before they even get out of LA). Donkey will crash on Randi’s couch all week spinning face saving stories about all the important ladee bidness that needed to be done and how she’s still so very sick.
    3) Donkey will get one gander at BM freak and demand a ride back to LA. Will spend the week crashing on Randi’s couch and… well, you get the idea.

    • I am betting it’s 3. We’re talking about someone whose idea of roughing it is sleeping on sheets with a thread count lower than 600.

  15. She’s gone from giving us nothing to giving us way too much material to parse on a summer weekend. I still haven’t cheezburgered all the poorly-framed outtakes from her Pickett/Moanica shoots.


  16. Oh CatLadeez,, she’s all over my city and now she’ll be mere blocks away from my camp. Is it Donkey Hunting season? Sure seems like it.

    Spotting (pointing and laughing at Ju-baca) in the wild is just that much more likely. MCakes, this will be inspired by you.

    BTW – Thought the paid status of “no” as amusing.

  17. Wow. Out to a concert last night and then up til 4:00am posting pics of herself on Facebook.

    Definitely too sick for Paris. Rachel Billow, are you watching this????

    • This is just balls-out astonishing. She’s just tossing out her existing friendset because she thinks she’s finding a new milieu with the woo-woo hucksters.

      • Donkey will probably be making an RBD Chat appearance less than a week after the day she bails on Burning Man, when she can’t even kid herself anymore about all the relationships she’s fucked up & over this year …

        • Let’s not chat with her eh? I don’t have it in me. It just makes her feel invigorated when we engage…I vote we don’t!

      • More gullible people in the vinicinity of the whoo hoo hucksters which is good news for our Julia. No Cindy McCains or Arriana Huffingtons to see right through her…… or is there?

  18. I can’t imagine passing on a trip to PARIS to go hang out in the desert with no indoor plumbing and a bunch of people tripping their brains out.

    Paris = art, culcha, architecture (one of Julie Albertson’s favorite topics to talk about if I’m recalling correctly), amazing food, beauty all around.

    Burning Man = hippies, dust, hot sun, camper-living, drugs she doesn’t do, and porta-potties.

    Even putting aside the friend she fucked over in the process, she’s just such asshole. My only consolation is knowing that she’s going to be completely miserable there. Looking forward to many posts about “the love economy.” Kookoo.

  19. btw, i was thinking about putting up a survey about what you guys think donkey’s burning man costume will be, but then thought it’s better not to give her any ideas. as always, the donkey will bring the lulz without our intervention.

  20. OT but I showed my 16 year old brother the pictures of Jaba from the Taylor Swift debacle, and he just stared at them and then managed a “Why?” And then “she looks like a doll. A gross one.”

  21. i’m not sure if this has been brought up, but being stuck at home in the storm has made my brain turn to trivial matters: is it possible that all her weird antics of late have something to do with her supposed bravo reality show? i know nothing about burning man, but from what i’ve learned here, i doubt a camera crew would be allowed there. but could all her manic prepping and paris/no paris plans be part of the show? she’s crazier than usual (and more annoying, if that’s possible) so i wondered if it was for the sake of the show.

    • No idea, but having someone else take over her column (even temporarily) can’t be good for her status with the production

    • I don’t think she could resist hinting she is being filmed (plus she is in the same stanky outfits – she would change clothes if she’s being filmed, she’s that vain). I think she just is this bat shit crazy — there is definitely an end game — I think she drank the kool aid at the Tim Ferriss event about how Burning Man would change her life. And though she pretends to LOVELOVELOVE her life, she is always desperately running from it, so I gather that she is truly miserable.

      So this is another way to be away from Chicago while chasing a wallet.

      • Yeah what IS it with wearing the same ugly outfits weekends in a row? I doubt this stuff is getting laundered. Traveling is not an excuse. She’s spending cash on lamer things while running from herself.

        Oh and she really looks unwell there and shouldn’t be exposing people to her infectiousness backstage anywhere, even if it is Perez Hilton.

        Get back to resting and taking antibiotics Donkey! You have to have the energy to OBO your friend’s and embarrass yourself at Burning Man!

    • All recording devices have to be registered when you first come in. I am thinking phones are now exempt from this, because they are so omnipresent at this point, but playa is brutal on electronics (seriously corrosive shit. I had to replace my car battery and terminals about six months after my last burn because I forgot to hose down the engine and the cables got covered in corrosive goop), but then most people ditch their phones for the week since there isn’t much in the way of cell service. You need to protect your camera, too.

      So while electronics that film are ‘allowed’ at the event, you are discouraged from videotaping without express permission of people being videoed, because there is so much nudity/free expression and gawking is considered poor form. There have been documentaries filmed at the burn, and whatnot, but I seriously doubt they are going to let this tard run around with a camera crew like an asshole.

  22. Hi guys! My power is finally back woot woot!! So.happy.so.blessed. We have been out since 11:30 last night. Luckily that was the only problem we had. Trees have fallen nearby but nothing too serious luckily.

    Doesn’t seem I missed anything? Have to love that fucktard still didn’t mention one tweet about Irene after living East for a few years. I guess she’s only a New Yorker when she wants to be.

    • Glad you’re well, Diluted, and that the power’s back on- isn’t that a happy relief? Happy to say we got through fine too, east end of LI, some branches down, no power loss though. Anyway, glad the juice is back on, that was what I dreaded. I get antsy if the Internet goes down for an hour. Anyway, hoping all the catladies and gents are doing all right after the storm.

  23. For someone SO SICK she had to cancel her trip to Paris? She sure isn’t acting like it. Speaking at a ‘conference’, hiking every day, costume shopping, going to a concert, hooking up with friends at the juice bar + brunch. Seems like she’s just going about her normal LA business. Not one mention of her ‘sinus infection’ or ‘sniffles’.

    Rachel B = you’ve been OBO’d. AGAIN.

    • Dr. Gary – just in case Rachel Billow has her Google Alerts on!

      Rachel Billow – you’ve been OBO’d by Julia Allison.

      Yeah, a non sociopath would probably try and hide how much fun, late nights, partying, concerting, brunching, juice barring, hiking and massaging she’s doing…

        • Yeah, if your dream is to screw over your friends… sure! Weirdly, Lewis Howes tweeted the same thing the other day so donkey is definitely sending up a donkey signal.

          • What I find funny is Lewis Howes was the person that tweeted he saw Donkey making out with Scoble at SXSW many hooves ago. Lewis knows the Donkey’s past but she simply forgot. um oops?

          • @Cankles, was that tweet for real and/or is is possible that he was joking? The “Julia made out with Scoble at SXSW” rumor is one I’ve never believed.

    • It was real and there were many witnesses. They were both drunk and well things happen. lewis howes would not lie about such a thing. I find it funny she forgot the incident before hitting on him and beginning the wallet chase

      • Really. I was at SXSW that year and definitely witnessed Scobes making a serious fool of himself, and he was tagging along with some of my friends for a while (who had to try VERY hard to get rid of him), but I never heard anyone mention JA at all in their various recaps of the shitshow. I know she was all over the place at SXSW but I thought a lot of it had to do with the fact that she was still chasing Kevin Rose at the time.

        • I heard about the chase of the Rose back then (I was supposed to go that year and heard reports of all sorts of cray.) But making out with Scoble??? Witnesses?? Was this on a Double Donkey Dare?

      • the only source i’ve heard this scoble/julia story from is loren feldman. i kind of doubt lewis howes was even at sxsw in 2008, let alone on twitter (in fact, he wasn’t. he started tweeting on may 14, 2008).

        • THANK you. As much as it seems like JA would stoop to anything for attention, I think she’s smart enough to know that making out with Scoble would not be a boon to Tech Founder (TM) status whatsoever. Lodwick, Forman, or Rose yes, but not Scoble.

    • I know how we tend to not feel an ounce of pity for those who choose to affiliate with her, but I seriously feel bad for Rachel Billow right now. This is seriously one of the cuntiest things I’ve seen her do, and I can only imagine how bad RBill was put out by the whole thing, and how furious she must (or should) be about it.

      Additionally, we don’t know how much R.Billow even wanted Donkey there — she might have forced her way in, as she is wont to do. What we do know is it appears Donkey left her with the whole tab in the end, created a ridiculous lie to cover her ass, never stopped to apologize or express remorse, and then ran around boldly and publicly showing off how awesome she thinks herself to be, and how little their friendship actually means to her.

      I am rather infuriated on Rachel’s behalf, and hope she makes a point to disown the Donkey for good after this. Not that Donkey will care, since she is already working to adopt new, ‘cooler’ friends who don’t know what a fucking shard-born cacafuego she is.

      Rachel — if you can’t cut the twatrocket loose after this, seek help. Donkey never will, so we might as well start giving this advice to the Stockholm prisoners she calls ‘friends.’

  24. EarthBar and Runyon and ….. Oh, Good Lord! Give it a rest, Donkey.
    I Give Up.
    There are BETSEY JOHNSON stores on Melrose and Sunset. Knock yourself out.

    • JuliaAllison
      I actually really enjoy driving in LA – windows down, Enya blasting. WHAT UP NOW, Busta?! (okay, not Enya. But that would be hysterical.)
      42 minutes ago

      Yeah so sick. Dear Rachel Billow, you should sue her. Seriously.

      • Why would that be hysterical? God, her attempts at humor are so far off the mark.

        • It would be hysterical to others. “WOW LOOK AT THAT HEADCASE MAKING A SPECTACLE OF HERSELF”

      • I’m sure that everyone in LA will be duly impressed that they were able to hear 1.5 seconds’ worth of noise that reminded them of that song from Titanic, coming out of the tinny speakers of some random passing car that was being driven by a sweaty bimbo clown who had the AC on high but didn’t have the good sense to roll up the windows.

    • And now a live music show tonight

      Can’t wait to see the bday girl live! RT @JuliaPriceMusic: Thx for the bday wishes! Tix for my 8pm show @thehotelcafe are avail at the door!
      11 minutes ago

      SO SICK.

      • You know, on second thought … there are no pictures of some plague coloured nails pointing at wheatgrass shots or of her wide stance dancing on a hillside. She is spinning her wheels trying to get out of the Burn and still stay out of the OMGDowntown Condo.
        Pix or it didn’t happen, Mulia Mallison!

        • Donkey definitely stalked the usual places where she hopes to run into or over TK, same as she always does.

  25. Yep. She looks pretty sick in this photo from last night:


    Thank GOD she cancelled her trip to Paris.

    • 2 horribly dressed gay men

      Also in the top picture, I know it was said before but that is *disgusting* that she’s all wet with sweat and going in to try on FURRY TALL BOOTS in the middle of summer! Sick – they totally should have handed her a stocking with bitchface.

    • The sight of those two together made me have to vom in the shower, but I only made it as far as the hallway :-/

    • Nothing like waging the battle against sexist online bullying while posing with Perez Hilton.

      • exactly. There’s one person I dislike more than Julia Allison and that person is Perez Hilton. He’d stomp his own mother to death for a pic in the tabloids, while JA would only push her off a cliff.

      • Oh god. I am without power. Really?? There is a photo of her and that vile, disgusting dirtbag? Two peas …

        • Yes, one where his back is to her and she obvs. creeped up behind him and then turns around and gets someone to take their pic.

          She is such a sad fame whore.

    • I can’t get over how she wears the same clothes all the time. I know it’s from traveling but perhaps pack more than a carry-on bag, ya asshole.

      • I occasionally travel for long periods of time with only one bag. The obvious trick is to pack versatile clothes that no one can tell you are re-wearing. You know, jeans, basic tops, little black dress, etc. NOT an ugly piece of polyester from the juniors department and white stripper shoes.

  26. Donkey just shared a hay juice with a guy who works on How To Make It In America on HBO – would this have anything to do with Biggest Contract Evah ™?

    Sorry if this has already been discussed.

    • Sorry I’ve just realised this is not a reality show, so it’s doubtful she has anythign to do with it.

    • I actually thought this look was a lot BETTER than her ‘per usual’ skin-tight bodice poofy skirted preteen look.

      I mean, look, there’s some draping! The skirt covers her calves!

  27. Julia’s supposed to be a Julia Price’s concert from 8-9pm so she either OBO’d or she’s tweeting through it. She is such a NICE person!

    JuliaAllison Close up on the necklaces I just found at this little shop on Melrose today … lockerz.com/s/133876394
    30 minutes ago

    JuliaAllison I’m trying out a boho type look. Skirt from Calypso, tee from Old Navy, bracelets from Good Charma. Thoughts? lockerz.com/s/133876195
    31 minutes ago

      • She is so into being gangster and hyphy, she should appreciate the immortal words of Mac Dre (RIP):

        “You no do(ough) ho, you can’t fuck with me.”

        Especially since she is always feelin’ herself, and nothing but herself (and maybe her pink dildo.)

    • aka ‘Hipster Costume.’ “Look, hipster founders! I am so earthy and natural!”

      … except my chin, my cheeks, my nose, my lash pelts, my botox-surprise look, my credentials, and… well, you get the idea.

      • Yeah, this is totally some weird makes-sense-to-the-donk-only version of LA, hippie, and granola. Way, way, way, waaaaaay too self conscious, dear. Shut off twitter and facebook and take no starfucker photos for like three months and MAYBE I’d believe it.

      • Exactly. This is her new Burning Man, down-to-earth, hippy, earth mother, vegan look.

        This reminds of when she first met Jordan, and co-opted her hipster bohemian look: romper, men’s jacket w/sleeves rolled up, heels.

        She literally has no sense of self. She adopts the persona of every new wallet or group of friends she is chasing. sad.com

        • I’d tell her to rent Zelig but I don’t think she’d understand its relevance to her life.

          • Because she’s an idiot, not because Woody Allen’s allegory is a subtle one.

        • Push-up bras are not boho! This hippie phase is such a 180 from her Republican first lady phase that it’s worrisome.

    • I would like to sue Julie and Peter Bogger for causing me emotional distress. And I suppose Mom$er$ is the one who gave birth to the beast so we can sue her too.

  28. I finally had a little look-see at the blog of one of JAB’s five RV-mates. God in heaven, imagine being trapped in a confined space with this space cadet for several days.


    Where to begin? First off, she thinks that she can trademark the phrase “Truth-Telling Lawyer.” It is to LOL.

    Basically, they show up in the middle of the night and park their fat van at the wrong site. “We awoke in the morning to annoyed people wanting us to move the RV. I was immediately tense and on-guard. Thank God Russell is a modern day shaman and within minutes he brought me to clarity, presence and back to deep abiding trust.” I think we can translate this to, “I had an emotional meltdown and needed a man to talk me off the ledge.”

    They’re ordered to move, which they do, then they promptly blow the biodiesel generator serving their site proper. “Miraculously two men appeared, Eric and Jeff, our saviors. They spent the entire day and much of the next several days ensuring our RV had as much services as possible. It all unfolded perfectly. As it always does when we trust.” Wow, good thing there were more men around to save you! You don’t know nothin’ ’bout fixin’ no generators.

    “The first couple of days there we didn’t leave the RV much. We spent a lot of time sleeping and loving and just being together without a timeline.” They drove to the middle of the desert to nap in a van for two days. I bet Eric and Jeff were pleased that their uncompensated labor and expertise made this possible.

    “I have to tell you this – 2 days before Burning Man I saw a dress in a store in Boulder and thought ‘I’m marrying Russell in that dress’ and bought it and brought it with me to Burning Man. That morning at the Temple, he asked me to marry him.” She used The Secret to visualize herself a husband! Are you paying attention, Donkey Grasshopper? You have much to learn from this one. Buy dresses! More dresses!

    “I want to look good, get a certain kind of attention or be thought of in a specific way. He helped me see my fears of not having enough food, not being able to be myself, being held back and all the others came from a feeling that I wasn’t enough. As I ‘burned’ (through those fears), he helped me see that who I am is enough – just as I am, without needing to do anything – ahhhh. Really? I can just be who I am and that is enough?”

    Yes, honey, you just be who you are, with your desire to look good and get attention. Don’t worry about food and electricity. Men will take care of that for you! Go get some more loving in the RV.

    I have no faith that we are going to get any real reportage out of Donk. She’ll say the playa was a life-changing experience, post a bunch of pictures of herself alongside people she thinks she looks better than, then say she needs to contemplate her refreshed chakras and move on to the next baggage carousel. I mean, what did she really say about that kimono-opening seminar thing? I have no idea what was discussed or what she learned, just what she was wearing.

    But I hope The Truth-Telling Lawyer (TM DON’T SUE ME) comes back with some good stories about the pink furry douche she was bunking with.

  29. [img]http://oi56.tinypic.com/2a9o22x.jpg[/img]
    “I’m trying out a boho type look. Skirt from Calypso, tee from Old Navy, bracelets from Good Charma. Thoughts?”
    “Close up on the necklaces I just found at this little shop on Melrose today …”

    • Sorry, meant to post in response to Dog Yapping above. Just not a fan of giving her Lockerz hits!

    • Yeah, I have a thought, you were trying to be a Republican poster girl A MONTH AGO! Reconsider your life choices.

    • Too much makeup for a boho look. Also, I think I can see her underwear through that skirt. Looks like that NY housewife Kelly Bensimmon.

      • Ya, my first thought was “Put on a slip, honey”. Other than that, I think she looks okay here. Sure, it’s another superficial persona she’s adopted from her new set of bffs, but it beats the Motel 6 desk clerk/in-room masseuse look she usually canters around in.

    • Wow, she’s obviously leaning forward from her waist and contorting her body so that her lower half looks smaller. I don’t like to bodysnark but holy jebus, someone really has image issues.

      • Body image issues, but without the basic common sense not to wear a skirt with hip-emphasizing horizontal pleats that don’t flatter one’s pear shape.

        (I need to buy that skirt, though, because I am always on the search for things that make me look hourglassy instead of lightbulby!)

    • Burners: Is this how one prepares for a week, err, couple days in the desert? Buying bracelets? And tshirts? What the fuck is she doing? I don’t know all that much about BM but I know they actively try to prevent people exactly like her from attending.

      Dear Donkey,
      Thank you for covering up your legs and face. Continue this trend.
      People of Earth.

      • I’m a former burner, and can say with some authority that no, this is not how any of them prepare for the playa. For first-time burners, most of the prep involves survival supplies, primarily water and shade. Subsequent years when you have the basics down, your priority is usually what your art project is going to be. Some become part of a team that engineers structures like these:



        Some do poi (fire spinning) or other performances. But everyone brings art to the table.

        The prime directive of the burn is “No spectators.” Everyone there is expected to provide some exhibit or entertainment. Otherwise you’re engaging in freak tourism and held in disdain by the rest of the attendees.

        The third priority for burn prep is building a supply of fungible goods that you can use for trade, since no money can change hands in Black Rock City. But JAB, like Alexis before her, is just relying on The Universe to Provide. And by the Universe, I mean men. Ugh. I just want to hurl copies of Revolution From Within at both their heads until some sense is knocked into them.

        • That treehouse is gorgeous; I’d never seen that before.

          A Donkey is buying meals from a Krishna Kitchen kitchen (hellooooooo GLUTEN!), and maybe Alexis is taking charge of the water?

          Still, yeah. Sunscreen and first-aid kit and flashlights and all the other basic outdoor survival stuff should be higher on her list than cute new skirts. It doesn’t matter, though; she’s going to leave right away, if she ever even goes.

        • Ok I have had this burning, and probably stupid question about Burning Man for a while. All these huge sculptures – they are made far in advance of BM, driven to BM in pieces and and then erected piece by piece, right?

          • Si, Burro, the project my group did was roughly on a scale with the treehouse above. It was fabricated locally in sections. We assembled it and broke it down twice locally, in the parking lot of an abandoned strip mall, to make sure we could do it in the field (although we couldn’t replicate a windstorm or playa dust.)

          • From what I gather, yes – a lot are pre-constructed in truckable pieces, and then put together there. A lot of the big artists will get there early to set up, too, so no one is carting around giant pieces of metal over the heads of thousands of newly arrived people.

        • From everything you and mcakez have said it seems as though Donkey is going with the worst type of attendee. Someone focused on their ARRRR-VEEEEE and refrigeration and OMG SHOWERS and where the fuck is the wifi?

          Even in the most posh castle possible, our princess will be crying herself to sleep because her iPhone doesn’t work. That won’t prevent her from taking a million unauthorized pictures though.

    • Thoughts?? You ask for thoughts? “Fuckwit.” That’s my thoughts. Hope that helps.

    • No this look does not work at all. Wafty femmy skirt requires light weight dainty top, perhaps spaghetti strings – not a lumpen gunmetal work out T.

      or maybe she is just so uncomf0rtable in her own skin it hurts to look at?

    • This outfit is so wrong. And I bet she bought that skirt as part of her “Burning Man hippie” costume. Does she realize that her $200 white skirt is going to be BROWN after like 10 minutes there?

      • Yes, it’s horribly unflattering to her (as it would be to anyone with generous hips and also who needed to size up).

  30. I agree. The current read is wrong. Nothing wrong will happen to Julia, she will be bailed out again and again and again based purely on being her charming self. There will be no comeuppance, just 4AM panic blogging about how much she’s living the dream, got her groove back, and got the great life she deserves by letting it all unfold.

    Which makes her self-fulfilling failing descent will be that much better in a few weeks.

    • Her whole life is her comeuppance.

      She has none of the things she wants except money. Now, yeah, money is a big deal (especially when you don’t have it), but the thing is that everything else in life is something A Donkey doesn’t have, including the thing she claims to want most of all, a husband.

      Not to get all “poor little rich girl” about her, because she is a parasitic boil on the ass of humanity, but her life really is sad dot com and she knows it. And it’s not going to get better, because she has none of the skills necessary to build a satisfying career or a romantic relationship or friendships.

  31. Why does she always get the outfits wrong?!?!!! EVERY TIME!! Agreed with @Dr. Gary who pointed out that she has no sense of self. I mean, goddamned, woman, if you give it just a little thought – JUST A LITTLE – you can come up with combinations from your wardrobe that won’t make you look like the desperate, needy little girl inside screaming for attention. You went to Hotel Cafe – you didn’t care to try and look a little chic? Boho is sloppy – you are there to support your friend – WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU?!!!

    • Gray slouch tee with that skirt is all wrong. Should have worn a colorful tank with that skirt, maybe a looped scarf. Layered with a cropped cardigan? Skirt is completely see-through. That tee is for throwing on top of destroyed jeans or cutoffs. She is so wack attack.

      • You can always tell when she’s trying to integrate herself into a new crew of people — the new costumes come out that she thinks will help her fit in. It’s like when all the cool kids at school started wearing Chuck Taylors and then a week later all the rest of us got them — usually, you leave that kind of behavior in middle school.

        Also: I love wearing worn looking tissue tees from J. Crew, but that doesn’t match the long boho skirt. That with the layered necklaces and the new wrap bead bracelet — she’s trying so hard to be something, who knows what. Sad.com.

        • She’s recycling through personas at warp speed. Just last week wasn’t she a pink sparkly tween cowgirl? And the month before that a Republican military spouse in training. It’s hilarious and also incredibly sad to see her flail about with absolutely no moral center or core.

          • And when she went all hipster when she met Jordan. And became a redheaded bad girl who did a fauxto shoot in a leather jacket trying to sell the deal with Harvard Harley, who rode a motorcycle.

            And how she became an outdoorsy, spunky chick because Taylor likes outdoorsy, spunky chicks.

            And how she tried to make herself a “tech founder” after Jakob dumped her and she was trying to impress that crowd. Tech founder! By starting up a tumblr!

            It is to laugh.

        • Do you think she’s wearing flats with that outfit? That would be the biggest challenge for her.

          Regarding the OBO of Billow–I think she had it all pre-arranged and that RB doesn’t care. I think JABS said something like “I have these two conferences I have to keynote at so I can’t go to Paris. Why don’t you come to Napa and stay for free in my room so I can make it up to you.” Why else would RB be there?

          The “SO SICK” info was for us.

          • Holy FUCK you are not kidding me. That is demented insane crazy pricing for something you could buy on Etsy for $100.

          • Bad reading comprehension on my part. She clearly said that’s where they were from. Sorry, BLB. And also, WTF?!!!! So she spent close to a grand on that jewelry on a whim. I was hesitant to jump on the massive CC debt bandwagon, but really, I don’t know what else could explain this!

          • A-game content – there’s a possibility they’re c/o. A couple of days ago she was having a donkey hard on all over them. Possible that someone from that site sent them over to her. So annoying.

          • That gives me the sadz, but you’re probably spot-on. There’s so much wrong with the way things are when a do-nothing, voluntarily (nearly) job-less fameball gets things handed to her and other people are struggling while underemployed or unemployed.

          • And as I stated in the comment below this, those Calypso skirts are around $500.00!!!! retail.

          • And yet people here still doubt she has a trust fund. RIGHT. Either that or she has approximately $750,000 on credit cards.

          • You can buy skirts like that at thrift stores for $20 and an armful of silver bangles for $10!! She is such a poser!

          • I still don’t think her trust fund is all that. (Note: yes, having a trust fund of any size puts her ahead of 95% of the people in the US, let alone the world, so.)

            I think she overspends in order to move with a richer crowd, and that the parentsers enable that by paying off her credit cards every now and then, probably with loud shouty ‘AND THIS WILL BE THE ABSOLUTELY LAST TIME EVER’ vows they never keep.

            She just doesn’t seem to be in the $50,000 a year in trust fund milieu, based on everything else in her life (the parentsers’ house, the brother’s lifestyle, Granny Moneybags’s lifestyle). Having gone to an expensive private college with lots of trustafarians myself, it doesn’t seem to me that A Donkey rolls with the heavy hitters in that category.

            Also, remember the Demise of the Pink Palace, which was (according to A Donkey) because Dadsers stopped subsidizing it.

          • Albie Quirky, I think you have this nailed. I have always thought she had a trust fund but not big enough to cover her chosen lifestyle, so Daddy Deare$t makes up the difference. There does appear to be a line like the NYC rent you mentioned and her health insurance that he says she should get but doesn’t pay for.

            She probably made a bit off her speeches lately so what does she do with the money? Burns it on overpriced costumes and clothes, of course!


      • Not to mention have you seen the price of those freakin’ skirts in Calypso???? I know they have that breezy, hippy, boho look… that’s very much my style, but I’m not payin’ like $500.00 for a skirt to wear in the desert like I’m trying to be all like, “Oh this ole’ thang???”

        • If you think it’s your ticket to a magic(k)al founder fairy tale wedding, you might. IF YOU WERE A DONKEY.

  32. That Neely woman who is sharing her RV is a 100% fruitcake. I think Jabs has finally found her true crowd. People who don’t question or criticize and are totally off their nut.

    • Right? I was howling at those entries Fameless pasted upthread. It’s crazy to think that people like Alexis exist outside of a Christopher Guest movie and actually savor the whiffs of their own bullshit. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall of that RV. After a few hours with Jabs, I just picture Alexis sitting cross-legged on the floor with closed eyes trying desperately to “center herself” and align her chakras so she won’t snap at Donkey.

      This is gonna be AWESOME.

      • Oh lord, you’re exactly right. I actually read that whole front article on her website, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. But, you did.

  33. In response to Jacy’s comment upthread about JABA’s different personas… it would be awesome to see a post with all of her random personality changes in order! Maybe next time she goes into hiding and becomes boring? Because the script really rewrites itself over and over again, based on the man she’s trying to catch.
    Lodwick? TECH FOUNDER.
    Harvard Harley? BAD GRRL.
    Etc. etc. etc.

    P.S. A friend of mine goes to Prom King’s law school… apparently his uber rich family who made all their money off mesothelioma class action suits are big donors. She said she hopes she doesn’t run into him at an alumni event, because all she’ll think is “You fucked a donkey. OMG.”

  34. Its about time to send a search party out for JP or declare him legally missing, isn’t it?

    • Maybe JP has a new man & is busy w/ bigger & better thangs. Maybe JP is
      bored as fuck w/ Donkey & just didn’t feel the need to announce his flounce.

      • Not to worry, fatties. I’m around. I am just taking a bit of a donkey break because I hate her face. I will return next week after a debaucherous trip to New Orleans. Happy Southern Decadence, y’all!

    • She’s sick with something, but it’s not a fever. THERE’S NO Z-PAK FOR CRAZY, DONKEY!

  35. Am I having a psychotic episode or was RBD down for a few hours this morning?

    I swear I got a “site suspended” error message first and then one of those generic web advertising thingies that people use for parked domains before they have an actual site.

    I feared Dad$ers was up to his old tricks again…

  36. JuliaAllison This is so random, but does anyone have a good tip for how to pack silver chain necklaces so they don’t get all tangled up with one another?
    21 minutes ago

    Her life is so stupid… and empty. That is all.

    • Even if you’re too dumb to think of a way to pack necklaces, which isn’t that hard, googling “how to pack necklaces without tangling” gives you 1,460,000 results. She is an idiot.

      • It’s not very random either. She brayed about “picking up” some necklaces and also is running around as fast as her hooves will carry her. And she’s a useless twat. So of course she doesn’t know how to do something that is new.

        • Seriously…. she has a mental deficiency – she must. It’s the only explanation.

    • Yes, Julia, as a competent adult woman, I do know several ways to pack my jewelry safely and neatly for travel. Oh, you wanted me to tell you how? Sorry, fucktard, grow up.

    • So typical of her to just buy those all at once at the same place rather than collecting them over time.

      • Well, yeah. The people who wear those things generally have a whole insanely boring story about each one: where they found it, or who gave (or “gifted”, barf) it to them, or how they saw it in a dream in the paw of their spirit animal and then magically found it in a tiny boutique run by an Old Soul named Juniper…


        The Che thing is still making me laugh like a hyena on nitrous. I am dying for Dadsers to see this and lose his Nixon-speechwriting mind.

    • This is so random, but does anyone have a good tip for how to turn my upside down house into shelter? HA! Hurricanes are so cute when they’re bitchy and named after women!

    • Stupid & empty is the best way to describe our donkey.
      With about 10,000 tweets and still not one regarding concern about the hurricane. Her whole life is just bad karma that’s why she’ll never succeed or be happy.

    • She’s humblebragging the fact that she just bought a lot of jewelry and wants us all to know about it. (She’s “sharing,” right?) Why she is doing this – beyond her usual run-of-the-mill assholishness – I do not know.

  37. This might already have been covered, but Justine Musk is one of her RV mates at BM? Oof. What I’d give to be a fly on the wall of THAT RV.

    BTW, catladies… I’m in NYC until next Monday. Impromptu meet-up? I’ll try to make it into chat tonight or tomorrow to see about that…

    • OMG Justine, I can’t wait to meet your ex-husband’s new tiny and cute wife, can you introduce me??!!!?!!?

      • Justine has her own younger and cute sweetie, some surfer dude who does something in the environmental con field.

        I mean, consulting! Not con! Consulting!

        • Just the way that her entire divorce played out — in the public eye — and all the mud-slinging that was done, and then her self-important blogging about how she’s all rich and everything now, whatever shall she spend her money on?… it’s always left a bad taste in my mouth. And her writing isn’t even that good, not that it would make up for it anyhow. She and the Donkey are a match made in heaven!

    • Yes, I savored that SO MUCH. That RV is going to be a haven of self-importance, cray, and pelt-spray.

      • @justinemusk Los Angeles
        Writer, blogger, reader, fierce mama, stylista, social media enthusiast. Building out the life of a badass creative. Looking for my car keys.

  38. It has been near 24hrs and no one has mentioned the return of idonk? I loved that name!

    My prayers are with you and family, Jacy.

  39. Just came acrossA Couples guide to Burningman:

    “The People-Unfriendly Playa

    Like dogs, some people just don’t belong at Burning Man. Got a girlfriend who goes into convulsions when she can’t find a place to plug in her blow dryer? Does your best friend hate crowds? Do yourself a favor, and leave them at home. Not only will they have a horrible time and complain all week long, but you will end up babysitting, and will resent them for ruining your vacation.”


    “Know Thy Campmates

    Black Rock City is happening at night. You’ll be out frolicking and enjoying the sights after the sun goes down, but what will you do when the sun is up? You’ll be sitting under your shade structure with the people you came with, day in and day out. This bonding time can be incredibly fun, provided you like everyone in your camp. In 1994, I attended Burning Man for the first time with eight hardy, easygoing and resourceful individuals…and one neurotic and insecure woman who we invited on a whim. Her incessant and inane babbling had us all running for cover in the next camp. If you’ve ever stayed out late to avoid your roommate or spouse, you know this game. This is your home for the week. As such, it should be as comfortable as possible. ”

    Have fun, Donks! Wouldn’t be surprised if her campmates “forget” her in the WF parking lot in Reno.

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