Oh My God, We Have Set A Commenting Record

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And I have been too busy running errands at my desk today to even fully follow what’s up with Donkey.

Could someone please explain this photo?

And why she Tweleted the Tweet in which she pimped out Billow in Paris.

And has that idiot Lasagna “Kelleigh” left yet?

379 COMMENTS

  1. While JA is busy tweleting about pimping her “friend” out in Paris, I am getting ready for my own trip to lovely Paris – with real friends. It’s been a while since I last was there and I’ve done much of the touristy stuff. Any suggestions for great food, shopping, markets, etc?

    Merci, mon basement dwellers.

    • What are you looking for? I have a whole whack of ’em, but will need some details first: how long are you staying? what kind of stuff do you want to do? is this your first trip? etc….
      offhand, for musems, i’d go with musée carnavalet (on the history of paris) and musée rodin (i’m not a louvre/orsay kinda gal)
      parks: luxembourg of course, but monceau and buttes chaumont are a bit more off the beaten track and lovely. and buttes chaumont has a café called rosa bonheur – getting too well known, but a great view for a drink
      i have more, but it’ll get tl;dr…

      • Thank you!

        It’s not my first trip but my previous trips were with family when I was younger…. so kind of my first trip on my own. It’s for work, for about a week, I have most evenings and one or two full days to myself, and am totally up for meeting up with cat ladies while there if anyone is around and up for it.

        I love off the beaten path shopping, foodie kind of food, parks, eating outdoors, etc. Will definitely check out some of these suggestions. Thank you!!

    • Hi hi! There is a tiny (but awesome) cat lady community in Paris, let us know what you’re looking for and I’m sure we’d all give you some great suggestions. 🙂

    • I second IPC’s suggestion of the Rodin Museum. It is breathtaking. Even just the garden outside is amazing. It has The Kiss, which makes me daydream just looking at a picture of it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kiss_(Rodin_sculpture)

      I’d also add to visit the Orangerie. It is full of Impressionists. There are two rooms downstairs which Monet painted with giant water lilies, and the Degas and Matisse have colors that come alive and make your chest swell with emotion. It’s a charming smaller museum that was my favorite in all Europe, and I went to all the big ones in six countries. I would have to say the Rodin Museum and the Orangerie are must sees. Have a wonderful time!

        • Thanks! Love parks and art (esp. Rodin) and have heard great things about this garden. And I totally love salads – how else to stay tiny and cute?

      • I third a visit to the Rodin Museum.

        God, I miss Paris.

        Sorry if that sounds #humblebraggy. But it’s true.

  2. Isn’t it clear? They are helping their elderly mother up the stairs after she broke the mechanical chair with her thunder thighs and sausage cankles.

  3. I’ve decided there is no way Lewis is hucking it in her back 40. Look at those dudes, consider the drag queen they are carrying, and the fact that Tim Ferret’s conference was called “Inside the Kimono” or whatever.

    Seriously… that is the gayest shit ever, and I am a Mexican.

    (No I’m not.)

    • My thoughts too, McCakes! The photo must have been taken at a rural gay bar sometime in the 1970s. The boys are hoisting the tranny who won the lip synch contest that night and is about to be crowned Miss Idaho Potato.

      • For some reason I always find it to be extra flattering when I manage to make you laugh.

  4. Someone in the other thread said it looked like two dudes helping their mother in one of those medical assist chairs that take you up the stairs.

  5. Totally off topic, but one of my friends just posted congratulations on her FB page to her sister, who just got her first job at the age of 31. I wanted to comment and ask her if her sister was Jabba Asshole but I didn’t think she’d have a clue who JA is. Also? Her sister just finished her Ph.D., so that’s why she’s never had a “real” job. Hey Julia! What’s your excuse, you braying ass?

    • Hey fuck you! Julia worked on the Hill that year after she failed out of Indiana University! Best job Dadsers connections could buy!

    • SHE IS A DATING NOT SEX COLUMNIST FOR TIME OUT NEW YORK AND ALSO APPEARS ON TV EVERY DAY EXCEPT FOR HER WORKING VACATION

      EXCUSE YOU AND FEEL FREE TO RELAX

  6. Because all y’all cat ladies have been such good girls and boys, here’s another little prezzie:

    [img]http://i56.tinypic.com/t0rr5w.jpg[/img]

    • Her cankles are about to file a lolsuit against her neck for infringing on rights to ‘thickest part of the body’ based on this picture.

      skintags: tim ferret, my pants are tight, pankcakes, lewis howe’s it going down in mom’s secret guacalol dish?, i’m not random, my face is a fist(ule.)

    • The pelts are not a good look at all. Plus this has drunkface written all over it. Funny, thought she didn’t drink….?

      • Also, hasn’t she just been pontificating about “NO DRUNK PICS ON FACEBOOK”

    • Does that facial expression mean that Tim Ferret finally noticed her weiner?

      Donkey will never the tuck.

      • ang! Donkey Will Never the Tuck would be a great user name, especially w/ CuntBunnies fautoshopped pic of sunlight on the knee looking like JABa’s peen.

    • HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THAT GIGANTIC DOUCHEFEST ALL UP IN THERE

      SERIOUSLY ARE THERE A DOZEN BRAIN CELLS IN THAT ENTIRE WINE CELLAR

    • Oddly enough, I think she looks okay here face-wise. The hair might work at that length if it were straight.

      Why is he making a “chimp want banana ooh-ooh-ooh ah-ah-ah” face?

      On second thought, don’t answer that.

    • Maybe you should adjust your monitor. Or switch to blog view. Her skin is a size medium, thanks!

      skintags: Jessica Quirk, Jack McCain’s belt, the true meaning of “ridiculous”, Lewis Howe, charlatan, games aspies play, pear-shaped, thundercunt, dead eyes, rodent snuff film shoes, Tim Ferret, the four hour shower vomit, diabetes feet, Mexicans!

      • “rodent snuff film shoes” – holy shit, I do not know what that means but I am howling!

        • Better to preserve your ignorance innocence on that front, o Dog-Yapping & Donkey Tears. You’ll sleep better, trust.

          • I have no idea where I acquired that vile piece of information, but I’m certain I’d be better off without it.

  7. I don’t know why but this pic and/or angle really creeps me out. I feel like I just stare at in in confusion. I love how she’s even trying to get a pose in while on the chair.

    • In film studies, this angle would be called The Dutch, although in this instance I think we can all agree that it’s The Douche.

  8. Also I don’t want to harp but I’m still kind of peeved at her careless EQ tweets. She is just so tacky. She shouldn’t be able to comment on what would upset anyone considering break-ups from 3 month relationships make her suicidal.

    • She is a tacky cow. Anyone who has lived in NYC should know that shit is no joke after 9/11… especially with the anniversary coming up, I would think any kind of rumble would scare the crap out of people. But she is a selfish, self-centered donkey – remember, 9/11 means dressing up as a slutty American to remember the anniversary.

      She is mentally ill.

      • I agree. 10 year anniversary coming up and she just dismisses people. That’s exactly how my husband felt working downtown today when he felt the EQ. She lived in NY but will never live up to the title of NY’er. Asshole that donk is.

    • I don’t think it’s harping at all, because that shit was deeply fucked up and worthy of repeated remark.

      I think she was trying to impress her new mark love interest with her EDGY NO-HOLDS BARRED SHOCK HUMOR and just came off as a thundering megacunt.

    • I’d like to slap the smug right off her fugly mug for that one. I don’t know where she gets her information (since her head is always up her ass, I guess that’s where), but more than a water bottle or two fell over, here in Baltimore. Actual buildings were damaged, including a church that was built in the 1800s.

      • I agree completely. Longtime lurker, and that tweet put me over the edge. I’m in DC and work next to Union Station and just a few blocks from the Capitol. It wasn’t necessarily the earthquake that was scary, it was the fact that no one knew what was happening. The very first thought I had was that it was a terrorist attack. We were evacuated immediately and when we got outside, everyone was saying the White House was bombed, the metro was bombed, etc. We had no cell service. It was sheer chaos. People everywhere, sirens, secret service and Capitol police speeding through crowds of people. It is annoying how fast this turned into an “east coast vs. west coast” situation. Living in DC and working on Capitol Hill post 9/11, those thoughts and fears will always be in the back of your head.

    • She’s just jealous because she wasn’t here to feel it and be OMG THE MOST AFFECTED BY IT EVARRRRRR

  9. JuliaAllison: En route to a first date @ 25Lusk in SOMA, trying out @UberCab at the suggestion of @Brit! Concerned I’m too dolled up for SF.

    Wonder who the unlucky wallet is.

    • TRANSBRAYTION: “Yooooo-hoooo Lewis Howes, I know I tagged you in 25,000 pictures on Facebook but you better bring your A game to Burning Man if you want to land a Donkey like me!!!!!! Hee Haw!”

    • If “too dolled up” means wearing too much makeup, isn’t she always? The cunt knows nothing about SF and, as with everything else, she’s unwilling to learn.

      • “too dolled up”= two dollar whore

        Same ol’ Donkey, poor Brit and Dave Morin, having to go on a double date with this embarassing skank.

    • God, no one cares. It never ends. The constant manic twatter update of her nonlife.

      Does she honestly, really think anyone gives a shit? I’m seriously asking. I cannot imagine she has not gathered yet that absolutely no one is paying her any attention. I can’t anymore.

    • The number of times she brays about going on a first date is fast becoming embarrasing. Her followers are going to start asking if she ever goes on a second date because according to her twitter stream, she does not.

  10. The human on the right looks like a 50% version of the human on the left. And the human in the middle is actually not human. It’s donkey. So many tricks on the eyes!!!

  11. I’m excited about burning man. Where she can just bring her normal wardrobe and still be considered freaky. I mean – easter whore is perfect for playa.

    • No… it really isn’t. Maybe the lace gloves, but could you imagine walking in the hooves, the dust in the ass, the freshwater pearls and the general wannabe Miss Manners of it all? It is to vom.

    • Donkerella is so ignorant, that she has no idea there is no cellphone signal or Internet access of any kind at Burning Man.

      She is gonna be SOOOOOOOOO pissed when she finds out she can’t tweet or post pictures of her dusty hooves for days!

          • She will find a conference or something that requires her to cut her trip short. I don’t think she is going for the full week anyway. She is probably weekend warrioring it. Who is driving her out there, anyway, considering she has no car?

      • She mentioned Burning Man in her ‘get even with Lol-apalooza’ column, and she did point out how there is no way to connect using SM out there. So she IS aware of the fact, but I think she imagines she will find some way around it. Technically she probably could, which I would find even funnier. It is just so antithetical to the concept of the Burn. Being cut off from the world is kind of the POINT.

        I remember coming back in ’05 after Hurricane Katrina and we were all stunned because it had happened early in the week and we had only heard a whisper or two about there being a hurricane, but had NO idea the extent and drama surrounding it. I know many of us felt a little terrible for being so ‘blissed out’ while so many were suffering in the Gulf.

  12. Completely offtopic, y’all: I have gotten out of my basement and am visiting friends in the country, and Jesus Christ there was just some kind of deathmatch between two wolverines underneath my window.

    Okay, seriously, I think it was raccoons, but I am srs bsns about the deathmatch. The things were screeching like the brakes on a broken subway train at each other. It was terrifying.

    NEVER LEAVING THE CITY AGAIN

      • the basement is my Happy Place

        there are no vengeance-crazed wild animals there

        only Cheetos and cats

      • well the lonely ghost who banged a tin can forlornely in the middle of the street by my ‘burbs ‘hood has finally gone on to the next dimension

        annnndddd I saw possum. Ever come eyeball to eyeball with a hissing possum? At night? I”d rather hang out with the spiders in the basement

    • One night this big male raccoon showed up on my front porch to eat some cat food. He’d been pissing me off for weeks. I went out to yell at him — I took menacing steps toward him — and dude HISSED at me with his terrible black fingers in little fists. I had a 175-pound dog on the other side of the door, but you can’t just sacrifice a great and noble animal to a rabid looter with opposable thumbs and a pretend-socialist agenda. I tried the menacing again; again was disrespected. I looked around and saw a baseball belonging to one of the boys, threw it at him, AND HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE CHEST. He did this very graceful sort of flying backward off the porch, landed, turned and not only hissed at me but uttered vile curses. However, I won, and he left, the weasel bastard.

      • I have never been able to rattle a raccoon eating cat food on the porch. let alone drive one off. Even with baying dogs scrabbling against the windows. Raccoons are as persistent as, well, certain donkeys.

      • I have a story about a few of us being terrorized by raccoons on a camping trip that I can’t repeat here simply because I don’t want to out myself, but suffice it to say, hungry raccoons will prevail every. single. time. #Bastardos!

      • You know what I’ve found works for scaring off raccoons? Running at them with arms outstretched yelling, “AWWW! Kitty! Come back! I just want to hug and pet you!!”

        Seriously, it has worked the three times I did it. I never did succeed in proposed hugging or petting. 🙁

      • “I had a 175-pound dog on the other side of the door, but you can’t just sacrifice a great and noble animal to a rabid looter with opposable thumbs and a pretend-socialist agenda.”

        This sentence deserves a Pulitzer.

  13. One of my burner friends who owes me a small amount of cash (and a ticket to the burn, from a drunk bet/contract one night, based around his JA-esque ex girlfriend [LEFOOLIEH and others might recognize him from skype as ‘C.’]) has volunteered to Donkey hunt. There will be no animal shooting involved, Kelliasgne, just the ‘record custodian’ kind, which she LOVES, of course.

    So at this point, we have a call coming from inside the burn. (Albeit it is over 50k+ strong at this point, and the caller is guaranteed to be drunk off his ass the whole time.)

    It is to cry that I am not going this year. Probably for the best, though, as I’d probably forget about real fun in keeping an eye out for a rampaging donkey.

  14. On her FB page some people are basically telling her she’s not gonna make it at Burning Man. Someone on the last thread explained how she’ll grift her way through it, and it sounds convincing. I wish there was internet out there because you know she’d be blowing up her twitter.

    • I think the fact that there is no internet is the reason she won’t survive. If she can’t tell everyone how great it is and HOW MUCH OMGFUN SHE’S HAVING, then there’s no point to doing anything.

      She’ll last one sandstorm and maybe one insanely freezing night.

  15. she whipped out the “i’m a journalist!” card to get tix

    Julia Allison posted to Burning Man’s wall
    Hi everyone 🙂 I’m a journalist who is DYING to go to Burning Man this year – if anyone, at all, has any access to a ticket I could buy, I would send them chocolate and cupcakes for the rest of the year. 🙂 Or beer. Whatever. 🙂

    • Tee hee, I will send you chocolate and cupcakes. Fuck that bitch, you send money, and vodka if you want to get things done.

    • Seller, beware. She will never send chocolate, cupcakes, beer, or payment.

      [img]http://i56.tinypic.com/mkcgl.gif[/img]

  16. In honor of Donk’s latest wallet chasing trip, I’m watching the “Reno 911” Burning Man episode. Deputy Dangle in assless chaps is giving me the late night lollies.

  17. Travis Wallis
    Dinner with @JuliaAllison was amazing!!! Thanks for the recommendation @portergale 2 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

    Julia Allison
    @traviswallis – @portergale, Trav is the best. 🙂 He proposed at dinner!

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHSOCIALMEDIAACCELERATERAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    • I had a good first date with a very cute, classy, cool dude last night. Know what I did after? I shut the fuck up about it, put it in perspective and moved on with my life. She will never learn.

      • Right? Way to scare the shit out of a guy. But I love that we always get blamed when a guy goes running for the hills and not her own mental behavior.

        PS, guess who’s been up all night adding hundreds more photos of themselves to Facebook?

        Cukoo-koo Cukoo-koo!

    • Thanks for the recommendation? I know guys share info about which girls are “easy”, but it’s kinda tacky to tweet about it.

    • He’s not hot enough, and I don’t think his wallet is fat enough, for Our Lady of Wilmette.

      As @Enchanted to Meet U, I’m sure mentioned down-thread, I’m sure she’s just using him for his connections to rich SF OMG *real* Founders.

  18. All you want is the picture explaned?

    Well, ho, shit, okay.

    In Disneyworld, the Haunted Mansion attraction features a room full of portraits that “expand” downwards as a special room descends (elevator-like) to the actual ride. The pictures show people who first appear normal, if eccentric, in poses that then become ludicrous and finally horrific as you gaze from their face to the bottom of the image.

    This is that, minus the ride.

    • This exactly! Kids, let’s watch Julia’s face as it melts and rapidly deteriorates. Don’t worry, this is the scariest part. You can open your eyes now.

  19. Guy she went on her “first” date–of many, I’m sure–is a light-weight hitter in SF. He heard you like founders so he became a founder and founded a lease for a building, bedazzled it enough bait to attract all kinds of tech hipster founders. Julia’s favorite! You know, creative, rich, smart, and classy people she so deservedly belongs with.

    Julia Allison, your resume is over at Valleywag. The OG San Francisco techies already know what a sham you are. You have to sociopathically charm the wool off the lambs.

      • Oh, Jesus. If I see the word *paradigm* one more time? I am going to punch kittens. AND I FUCKING LOVE KITTENS.

          • And of course, our original and creative Donkey has to offer us an RT she describes as a “Paradigm shift.” (*also hides kittens*)

            Sometimes this shit almost writes itself.

      • I really despise anyone who feels the need to write their phone number like this:

        Four15.Three50.Seven289

      • “Who am I?
        My name is Travis Wallis. I am a knowledge-seeking thinker and connector.”

        Please tell me I don’t need to hate this entire generation, because I’m really starting to….

        • i get the brayges whenever i see anyone describe themselves as a ‘thinker’, ‘creator’, ‘entrepreneur’ (who has never made FU money and can’t code), or ‘writer’ (who has never published).

          • Yes, in other words he’s done shit but is capable of throwing some buzzwords into a couple of sentences that tell us nothing about him. He’s purrrrfect for the donkey! Love that she’s in her real element at the moment. Not OMG! tech founders but self-promoting bottom feeders like herself.

        • Come on, I appreciate that line for its near-honesty. It screams “I am a money seeking bullshit artist seeking to graduate to con artist.”

      • WHAT THE HOLY FUCK

        HE LOOKS LIKE EDDIE MUNSTER WITH A TUMBLR

        TERRIFYING

      • I read the link at the bottom as “Preposterous theme by Cory Watilo.”

        Travis quarter-lived, y’all. Quarter-lived.

  20. SF just had its own little earthquake, wonder if she’ll be braying about that on twatter…

  21. I know we never poke the beast (obviously) but it would be SO funny if everyone emailed TMS services and just said how much they absolutely loved that greg guy’s column. No reference about anything else other then pure enjoyment. Imagine all of a sudden getting a couple of hundred positive comments on a piece not written by your main columnist? LOL.

    But, in all seriousness, no need to ever engage with Donks, since we have seen with Keeiilleeegghh the crazy tends to manifest all on it’s own.

      • Exactly. There are things with which Julia needs lots of help, but squandering opportunities and alienating people are not among them.

    • I’ve said this before – whether or not Julia loses her TMS gig doesn’t matter, she’s still going say she’s a columnist for internationallly syndicated newspapers until the end of time. the way she presents it she’s still writing for Time Out New York. I frankly believe Julia will be happy to be relieved of her TMS duties and deadlines – she’s already used her “vacation” pass only a few months in (to get chairlifted at Ferris’ gay cruise circle jerk) and is stocking up on reserve pieces (what a way to stay fresh and relevant). I doubt she’ll last much longer than the upcoming “keynote” and certainly not after her contract up, but I’m not Keleigh and don’t know what I’m talking about and a hater.

    • I’m not going to contact the Times or anything, but that dude’s column had me actually smiling while reading it. The ‘Angry Birds’ thing was especially funny.

      Is it published in any actual newspapers so far, or just on the trib media page?

      • Oh, when it’s on the interwebs, I will be leaving an awesome comment, but that’s because I really liked it, no malice to the donkey – I’ll let her zero comments speak for themselves.

  22. Sorry if this has already been mentioned — but she writes a big blowjobby column about Eventbrite — is that what it’s fucking called — and then she’s a paid speaker at an Eventbrite conference. So did she write the column to get the work, or did she get the work in exchange for writing the column? And in either case, did she divulge her personal, for-profit involvement with Eventbrite?

    Where are the fucking ethics? Do her editors have none?

    • TMS ethics have been on extended sabbatical, apparently.

      Hey, has anyone googled yet to see how many papers picked up the Greg Schwerm (sp?) column, or is it too soon to tell?

    • Where are the ethics of Eventbrite making sure they have Donkey’s most current credits? They are, in fact, lying to the audience that is coming. It’s disgusting. I put this mostly on Julia Allison, Liar At Large, but still…

    • I don’t think this is an Eventbrite event. It’s being organized/promoted by Get Clickable which is just a social media marketing thing (and their site is fugs – just google it; I won’t give them a URL here). Eventbrite is just the ticketing platform they’re using (which is what Eventbrite does, and despite the taint of the donkey which makes everyone here think that EB is a fly-by-night, scummy, whatever co, they actually do it really well and are some great people.)

      TL;DR: Eventbrite is a nonentity in this outbrayge, they’re only managing ticket inventory and charging credit cards which is their business.

  23. Oh phone, so I can’t post details, but on the Bay Area NPR station this morning they said that 13 bay papers are being swallowed into three.

    All three of her syndicates are being folded into other papers. So I’m sure she is over-the-moon thinking this means that she will get new readers (like Randi’s friend-to-fan switcheroo), but considering that the paper absorption will lead to hundreds and hundreds of lay offs of qualified columnists, I’m going to assume it will just mean she is left with only Calcutta.

    • There’s always Kabul and Islamabad to be conquered by the TMS “Social Studies!” column. She’s really popular over here, apparently.

      • The papers folding can be her nice excuse why she will be out of a job but at the end of the day, it’s her terrible work ethic and penchant for copying and pasting press releases after making up ridiculous reader questions that she then tries to pass off as a column.

        • She would have made fuck you money years ago if it weren’t for the economy! Now the economy yanks her column? FUCK YOU, ECONOMY! She would be super successful if she could just have some more LUCK and PRIVILEGE!

  24. FUN FACT: Donkey was already supposed to be in LA at this time so I’m wondering if her couching riding privileges with Taryn Southern have gone away after she hee hawed all over Taryn’s b-day. Donkey is probably waiting for Randi to come into town so she can grift a night at a hotel from her.

    • She did mention that Dave and Brit treated her to dinner. Like she’s their teenaged niece or something. Pay for your own damn food, donkey.
      Why does anyone doe this? Who are these people? Is it because she’s out there shilling Dave Morin’s company?

      • But what power does she have to shill? No one reads her columns. Maybe through Twitter? I have to think she’s a joke. I don’t get why these successful people put up with her.

        • The thing is that “as spotlighted in the Chicago Tribune” still holds some sway for olds.

      • Can you imagine actually dining out with her? They’re probably in so much of a rush to get out of there when our donkey starts throwing amex gift cards on the table to pay her portion that the Morins’ are like “oh don’t worry we’ve got this. Let’s just go already since it’s getting late” (then the sound of tires screeching away)

  25. I’m bummed cause it feels like Burning Man has really and truly jumped the shark this year now that the likes of JULIA ALLISON are attending. She won’t respect the rule of asking before you take someone’s photo probably leading to cunty, side-eye blog posts of “OMG LOOK AT WHAT THIS GIRL IS WEARING” like she has done with random strangers before. She will grift everything from everyone, and she won’t appreciate the experience in any of the ways it’s usually appreciated. So many people would love to go there in her place for reasons other than husband hunting and humblebragging.

    I cannot stand her ass, especially this last week. The smug is coming from inside the pelts.

    • I have to admit that Burning Man was one of those things that sounded awful to me when I first heard about and now seems like a hell devised by space aliens who have somehow tapped into that part of my brain where I store everything I hate.

      Heat? Dust? People running around spouting peace, love and harmony?

      Give me immaculate white rooms and fresh green lawns with a side order of malice, perversity and contempt, thanks.

      /raised by hippies and did not enjoy it

      • I love everything about this comment, including but not limited to the fact that you managed to weave a Dreamcatcher reference in there (best! bad! movie! ever! I saw it twice in the theatre it was so terrible).

        I don’t think Julia Allison and I have a lot in common, but I’m pretty sure Burning Man is her idea of hell as well, so I absolutely can’t wait for the six hours she’s going to spend there.

      • OMG I want immaculate white rooms and fresh green lawns with a side order of malice, perversity and contempt sooooooooo bad. But I do have my cheetos. Sigh.

    • I’ve already said this, but now I’m saying it in my Nostradamus voice – if she goes she will last 48 hours max at BM.

      • I’m thinking Donks invited herself to someone’s RV last weekend and that’s one reason she is so determined to go. She can say she’s been there without experiencing all the discomfort. This could increase the length of her stay to … 24 hours.

        Of course, if she’s chasing a wallet she could last the whole time. She’s pretty much relentless about chasing dollars.

  26. You guys have been on fire this week…I love it. I only have 21 days till I get on a plane for R&R leave. Thanks for making these slow, slow days go a little faster!

        • I’d prefer none of you were in Iraq in the first place, actually. Just another expensive and pointless foray in empire building and killing foreigners. It’s destroying this country.

          Just my 2 cents while everyone else is falling over trying to blow you for your “service”

          • Who said ANY of us prefer to be in Iraq?

            And also, GO FUCK YOURSELF!

            And you come here, why, again?

          • Thank you for *your* service as well, Matt. It’s nice when crazies out themseves so the rest of us can identify and avoid you.

            I don’t think anyone here said OMGYAYWAR.

          • WTF is your problem, dude?

            Do you go insult McDonald’s employees because you oppose deforestation?

            Way to shove your two cents up someone’s ass uninvited. Jesus.

          • WOW beauchump.. no matter your political opinion, the service person is not going to get your change of venue dude. You need to go attack other avenues. The service person is the hero…remember this.

          • “2 posters” equals “everyone else.”

            Would you mind blowing yourself, Matt–oh, you already do on a regular basis.

            I suppose no one else will.

            Carry on.

          • If you have the inalienable right to reveal yourself to the world as the nasty, vile, pig that you are without fear of castration, imprisonment or death, thank a Vet, dickwad.

          • Everything about this post reeks of fool and gross, but especially the part where all we all are accused of “blowing” a fellow lady.

        • Julia Allison has now updated her resume to include, “Entertaining the troops” and sent it over to Eventbrite for clarification. LOL 😉

        • Hopefully you can make it a working vacation and get yourself published in over 100+ ineffibly cute and tiny newspapers worldwide!

  27. Don’t know if this has been mentioned but according to her FB, it’s Adriend who got her the tickets. How does this woman get everything she wants with absolutely zero planning?

    • My only consolation is that she will be absolutely miserable in the baking high heat and crazy sandstorm. She will not get it on any level and will make up some crazy excuse to leave (I have to go speak at another OMGconference!) Of course, she’ll pretend the 12 hours she stayed were THEBESTOFHERLIFE!!!!

      I’m not hating on Burning Man, but really, this is what she’s rushing out of Europe for? She can’t go next year?

    • Priceless. I could easily believe he did this as the ultimate bitch move. Serioulsy, Donkey Goes to Burning Man has the potential to be the best story arc this soap opera has ever had.

      • “Donkey Goes to Burning Man” is already a movie in my mind, directed by Lars von Triers. A brutal indictment of materialistic society, the ending is shocking and incendiary.

        • Damn it. I just asked Handbag Stuffed With Pears and Shame to marry me, and I’m already going to have to cheat on her because this comment is SO awesome.

    • I cannot believe anyone is so dumb/lazy/out of touch as to source her Burning man get-up from a costume shoppe. The whole point of BM is creativity, and Donkey has none/nada/zero/zip/zilch.

      • I shudder contemplating the pelts in a sandstorm (and probably rain at some point). That head of hers is going to be a filthy gluey mess of dread(s).

  28. who called it? she’s not going to Paris:

    Julia Allison
    Literally the first time I’ve gotten sick in two years … two days before an international flight, and my doctor put me on antibiotics and grounded me. (fist shakes) I’m so sad.
    11 minutes ago

    Julia Allison So no Paris or London for me.

    • She’s so fucking full of shit.

      Also wait, what doctor Julie, you don’t have insurance remember?

      • Also? My doc has never once asked me if I had international travel plans when prescribing drugs.

        Will she miraculously recover in time for Burning Man?

      • Yeah, & if you’re out of town & get worked in to see some random doc, he/she is not ‘my doctor’, he/she is ‘the doctor’ <– THAT is what comes from over-thinking your lying alibiing raftass.

        • My thoughts, exactly. This is like when some regular Joe Middle Class says “you’ll be speaking to my attorney!”

          Nothing against the middle class. I am a member. But that move from the dude wearing the “I’m With Stupid” tshirt never really scares anyone, does it?

    • boo fucking hoo. if billow or natasha tolerates her ass after this, i will be surprised. everyone gets a bingo square, yay!

    • SHOCKING!

      #Meanwhilst, I’ll just leave these right hurr:

      November, 2009 – “Despite my still feverish temperature of 102 (it was down to 100 this morning, and now it’s back up, blehh)…”

      [img]http://5.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktwlxg6b6J1qz6dlko1_400.jpg[/img]

      April, 2011 – “Threw up last night, nauseous & sick in bed all day. Still feel like crap, just in time for 7am flight to Chicago & my BFF’s wedding shower.”

    • lol
      she probably didn’t her shots from the vet in time and they refused her entry

      Seriously, what kind of illness “grounds” her from flying unless she has AVIAN FLU, SURGERY, PREGNANCY, cholera, diphtheria, hepatitis A, impetigo, meningitis, mumps, polio, typhoid or tuberculosis! Recovering from plastic surgery does not count

      • We should just run confirmation posts with all of us logging in:

        bitchface says: Called it.
        ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says: Called it.
        LEFOOLIEH says: Called it.
        etc.

        So transparent. So predictable.
        How unfortunate that she and her germs won’t be able to meet up with OMG Randi Zuckerberg.

        • the IRONY. seriously. she OBOed billow and paris for fucking old yeller, then got SICK. you can’t make this shit up.

          • Won’t Old Yeller make her get a hotel room instead of exposing Facebook’s Nephew to equestrian diseases?

      • The only thing I can think of is if she had a bad sinus or ear infection. Flying while congested can be very painful, and possibly cause permanent damage to your ear. HOWEVER, most of the time you can take a decongestant and you’ll be fine.

        If she had a cold or sinus infection that was bad enough to ‘ground her’? She would have been braying about it all week. The fact that she seemed fine last night, then suddenly today, out of nowhere, some mysterious illness appears? Not. Buying. It.

        As others have said, I think she is just being her usual, selfish, NPD self and fucking her friend/friends over to chase a big wallet. I honestly don’t know why these girls stay friends with her when she pulls this shit over and over and over.

          • SHE CAN’T FLY EXCEPT WHEN SHE CAN FLY

            SHE IS GROUNDED EXCEPT WHEN SHE ISN’T

            SHE IS ON A WORKING VACATION SO FEEL FREE TO RELAX OR LASAGNA WILL GIVE YOU A DOPESLAP

            MISS JULIA IS NOT RANDOM AND MAY LITIGATE AT ANY MOMENT

          • If she’s well enough to fly to LA, she’s well enough to fly to Paris. What a bitch. Still, Billow can’t have been surprised. Remember when she bailed on the breast cancer walk Billow PAID for her to compete in? #neverforget

    • 13 hours after an amazeball date in SF she is sick enough to seek out a doctor in a different city that says you can’t travel because of your antibiotics? Don’t buy it. Antibiotics make you feel better. Have an infection in your tooth? need a root canal? antibiotics will make that feel better, a day and a half, max..

      Anyway – I’d rather get sick in Paris than in America (especially if you don’t have insurance julier!)

      • I have traveled internationally while taking antibiotics. Another time, I also got sick during the course of my international travel, saw a doctor who prescribed me antibiotics for a very low fee. She is so full of shit! I cannot believe her friends put up with these lies.

        • There’s a pilots forum that lists FAA accepted meds for pilots while flying the freaking plane, & it says this:

          AntibioticsThe use of antibiotics is usually permissible, providing the drug has been taken for long enough (usually 48 hours) to rule out the possibility of adverse effects.

          • (Not to mention, there are around five antibiotics recommended as part of your travel kit depending on where you are flying to & staying during international travels)

    • Rachel Billow is a dumbfuck for not calling it herself — Donkey was on her death bale of hay prior to HS reunion (when trying to get nerve up to show her failed ass there) & an ill Donkey also baled on Rachel for the SGK 3-day clomp.

    • bull. fucking. shit.

      Countdown until Kahhleeeighh aka Lasagna storms back in here to tell us, ‘Julia is REALLY, REALLY sick. Fuck you haters for calling her a liar!’

    • Antibiotics are almost never prescribed for a suspected GI infection. They are usaully viral and not bacterial and antibiotics can actually aggravate a GI problem, i.e. the greatest threat is dehydration and loss of electrolytes, antibiotics can aggravate the GI tract. Maybe she has a really bad UTI. 🙂 Well I am not a doctor, so I may be wrong.

    • Love it. It’s even better if you switch from ‘unique visitors’ to ‘visits’. The stats don’t lie, we are literally her only audience now:

      [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/2sakkr7.jpg[/img]

        • UGH. I give up.

          It’s hard to get it right when your fingers are covered in Cheeto dust, cat fur and tears.

          • Wow… I can’t believe she was still getting those kinds of numbers a year ago — what’s amazing is, she could have stopped the hemmoraging (sp) at any time – add content!!! But she was too lazy.

          • Same here – it’s insane that A) her numbers were EVER that high and that B) they dropped so, so much in the span of five months (July to December). It seems like her “fans” didn’t eat up the OMGJack and OMGBullies storylines quite the way she thought they would…

          • Maybe (probably) Jul-Dec is when everyone here caught onto using Google Reader to avoid giving Donkey page views?

          • Someone posted an old blog here called “There’s Something About Mary” – it used to reblog Mary but then it clearly had Julia Allison in its sights.

            What was fascinating is the writer of that blog found out that they put some type of code um… in their code (sorry, I’m not a tech geek) and this code was the reason they got to the top of google searches for credit scores which was why they got so many page views.

            Yes, people clicked on once, then saw they had nothing to do with credit scores and clicked off. The writer contacted Julia over and over and was blown off – she even tried to report Nonsociety to google – I don’t know if she had any luck.

            Guess I’m saying, I don’t think 80,000 readers was ever legit though at the height they were claiming 800,000 a day.

        • Sorry, I doubt I’ll be able to make it more clear – I’m stupid tired. The writer of that blog caught on that Nonsociety had put some code in their programming that pushed it to the #1 site that would pop up whenever people would Google their credit score. Because so many people google their credit score, Nonsociety was getting tons and tons of hits. They could use these hits to look like they were getting massive amounts of traffic and use those numbers to get endorsements or whatever —

          But the numbers were all lies. The girl from this site “There’s something about mary” tried to confront Julia a bunch of times about it but Julia always blew her off.

          That’s the gist.

          • I speak tech. The accusation is “keyword stuffing.”

            It’s equivalent to putting the words “free money” on your site, but hidden in the code, so that anyone who types “free money” into a search engine will see your page come up in the SERP (search engine results page) and click, only to find out that you are selling dog food, or whatever, and click away — but you got the click

            It’s an incredibly harsh accusation; if it’s true, it’s beyond corrupt.

            Keyword stuffing is bad and wrong. Here’s what wikipedia says

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keyword_stuffing

            Keyword stuffing is considered to be an unethical search engine optimization (SEO) technique. Keyword stuffing occurs when a web page is loaded with keywords in the meta tags or in content. The repetition of words in meta tags may explain why many search engines no longer use these tags.

            Keyword stuffing had been used in the past to obtain maximum search engine ranking and visibility for particular phrases. This method is completely outdated and adds no value to rankings today. In particular, Google no longer gives good rankings to pages employing this technique.

            Hiding text from the visitor is done in many different ways. Text colored to blend with the background, CSS “Z” positioning to place text “behind” an image — and therefore out of view of the visitor — and CSS absolute positioning to have the text positioned far from the page center are all common techniques. By 2005, many invisible text techniques were easily detected by major search engines.

            “Noscript” tags are another way to place hidden content within a page. While they are a valid optimization method for displaying an alternative representation of scripted content, they may be abused, since search engines may index content that is invisible to most visitors.

            Sometimes inserted text includes words that are frequently searched (such as “sex”), even if those terms bear little connection to the content of a page, in order to attract traffic to advert-driven pages.

            In the past, keyword stuffing was considered to be either a white hat or a black hat tactic, depending on the context of the technique, and the opinion of the person judging it. While a great deal of keyword stuffing was employed to aid in spamdexing, which is of little benefit to the user, keyword stuffing in certain circumstances was not intended to skew results in a deceptive manner. Whether the term carries a pejorative or neutral connotation is dependent on whether the practice is used to pollute the results with pages of little relevance, or to direct traffic to a page of relevance that would have otherwise been de-emphasized due to the search engine’s inability to interpret and understand related ideas. This is no longer the case. Search engines now employ themed, related keyword techniques to interpret the intent of the content on a page.

            With relevance to keyword stuffing, it is quoted by the largest of search engines that they recommend Keyword Research and use (with respect to the quality content you have to offer the web), to aid their visitors in the search of your valuable material. To prevent Keyword Stuffing you should wisely use keywords in respect with SEO, Search Engine Optimization. It could be best described as keywords should be reasonable and necessary, yet it is acceptable to assist with proper placement and your targeted effort to achieve search results. Placement of such words in the provided areas of HTML are perfectly allowed and reasonable. Google discusses keyword stuffing as Randomly Repeated Keywords.

    • Wow.. I just plugged in my own domain into that Compete.com site, and it seems my own personal site (and I’m not Internet famous) gets twice as many page views as all of NonSociety does lately 🙂

    • Julia Allison’s Non Society is down 94.98% in a year, holy shit. Julia, get off the Twitter and the Facebook!

  29. OMG!!! Who called it??? This must be in the comments already:

    Julia Allison
    Literally the first time I’ve gotten sick in two years … two days before an international flight, and my doctor put me on antibiotics and grounded me. (fist shakes) I’m so sad.
    about an hour ago

    Julia Allison So no Paris or London for me.
    about an hour ago

    PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEESE!

    • Who EATS a ticket to Paris (miles or no) because of a cold? She could have come up with something better.

      • Obv. this was her plan all along and that is why she is truly a sociopath — because all of it, the calls to United, changing her ticket were all LIES. She knew she was never going to go.

        She showed no signs of illness last night and PS, docs don’t just put you on antibiotics for nothing these days – it’s bad for your immune system. Even if she was, a Z-pak is five pills – she’d be feeling great by the time the party came around.

        • Yeah, like it was totally fine to go out to dinner on a first date but not cool to travel. She’s full of bullshit & fillers.

        • Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is total bullshit.

          She might have actually seen a doctor. But if she did, it was for no fucking reason, as people of hysterical, attention-seeking tendencies tend to do, and said something along the lines of “DO U REELY THINK I SHULD BE FLYING IF I FEEL SICK????” And the Doctor, sensing that his malpractice insurance premiums would skyrocket if he didn’t handle this extremely litigious Donkey with an abundance of care, said “no, best play it safe.” And then he told her that she should really be seeing a veterinarian.

          But I think it’s probably all really hot air. The Doctor was most likely a lie, as are so many cakes, both in Donkey’s life and elsewhere.

    • Transbraytion: Daddy won’t cough up the dough because it’s not for “work” or wallet hunting.

      • She is such a bitch. So did Rachel get a call or is she supposed to just figure it out from Julia’s status on Facebook?

        Julia Allison = such a nice person!

    • Oddly I don’t see that tweet. Did she delete it or maybe twitter is acting up?

      She just sucks in general but it is most exemplified on her blog. All she’s been doing is reblogging shit. She doesn’t have a job nor any hobbies. What the fuck does she do all day?

      • OOPS, didn’t realize it was on FB not twitter. My apologies but my comment on her sucking still stands.

    • Doctors don’t ground you. Usually 24 hours of antibiotics and you are good to go back into circulation if required.

      What disgusting infection could she possibly have that means she can’t travel on day 3 of antibiotics? Of course she’s lying again.

      • The best part is that she tweeted this:

        JuliaAllison:
        Met up with my girl @JuliaPriceMusic in SF for a borderline insane cab ride to SFO – flying @JetBlue to LA. lockerz.com/s/132602389
        2 hours ago

        And then tweeted this:
        JuliaAllison:
        Just landed in LA – sniffles & sneezed the whole way. I haven’t been sick in literally two plus years. Ugh. Get me to bed!
        58 minutes ago

        I’m guessing that she landed and saw us posting shit like, “Grounded? LIES” and realized that we’d seen the fb post. Way to fail at covering your tracks Julesy. What. A. Cunt.

      • Potomac Horse Fever:

        “… is a diarrheal disease that is infrequently seen in the western U.S. Horses with symptoms will develop high fever, lethargy, loss of appetite and diarrhea. The stool is very watery and abundant.”

        It WASN’T blueprint cleanse!

    • I feel like an idiot for believing her – but all the “I’m on the phone with United for an hour” and “I’m just delaying the trip by two days” — I believed it!!! Because what sociopath would bail on a friend like that?

      Well, we have our answer!

      • So is this about Dadsers not paying for it??? And if so, are they aware of all her lies? Do they ever confront her?

        Or is this about meeting a guy and wanting to see him at OMGBurningMan!

        • I’m not so sure her parents care much about her lies. If they really are supportive of her wallet hunting, they know lying is the only way she can get someone interested. After all, wasn’t it lying that helped her catch Pancakes for all of five minutes. Of course, it is lying that also leads to her break-ups as well.

          • Hasn’t she quoted her Momser as saying”Fake it till you Make it”? I do think Dadsers is footing a big part of her bills, and I don’t think he is pulling in the reins either.

            Didn’t some Smart Catlady figure out there is/was some sort of Julia Allison Trust involved in the purchase of the condo? Dadsters a Lawyer; so I think she might have really made/invested some bank on the Sony deal ie: They had to pay her to stop showing up for filming. I’m sure he thinks her Chicago Tribune “Social Studies” is golden … in Status, as were her McCain engagement, Kirk confidences, Corespondent’s Dinner invitation,
            Huffington Post article(s) … – You get the idea.

            True, She is hoofing around in cheap shoes and department store labels right now. But I don’t think the Baughers are denying her much of anything. And I’m not sure it is in the furtherence of Husband Quest. I think it is because they are all Barking Mad (allegedly), ‘cept Britton and Lilly.

          • Those Sony deals weren’t so much cash. In the tens of thousands of dollars, and not the high tens of thousands.

          • Kind of OT, but Donkey isn’t AFTRA/SAG, right? Is it normal for a company like Sony to make a commercial without using union actors/paying a union rate? I really don’t know anything about this–maybe commercials are entirely different than movies/TV?

    • ineffable suggestion.
      let’s see…
      how about a square for ‘pelts combust in freak fire art demonstration’

      • BINGO. Also, gratuitous photos of her with random costumed burners with descriptions like, “Me with the ineffable and amazing Sarah and her smart, scruffy boyfriend Todd. He said he liked my pink cowgirl boots ;)” and “I feel like I’m so at home here with these other creative souls! These people know what it means to have a costume party!”

    • See, the thing is (HERE’S THE THING) that even if she does make it to Black Rock City, she’s not going to be able to access Twitter or Facebook or Tumblr on the playa. Any coverage of the Burn could not take the form of McNugget-sized tweets and Instagrammed pictures sent from her phone. And she doesn’t do anything time-delayed like that, hasn’t truly blogged for years. If she can’t “cover” an outing from the back of a cab on her way back to her folks’ place or some put-upon BFF’s sofa, no words or pictures from the event are going to make it online.

      Otherwise I would be all over the bingo card. I still have the blank from Julia Allison Travel Bingo. I note that after I posted that one back in the day, she stopped calling her friends “bunnies” with a quickness.

      • This comment is so tiny, and so cute, and my response will be lost because it is days too late for this thread, but…

        Due to the lack of internet activity, the entire bingo card will look like 5 squares of “It was a life changing experience. I will post when I’ve had time to process it.” 19 squares of “Picture of me, and arty things in the background.” And one obligatory “Free Lilly!”

  30. I’m thinking she never bought a ticket to London or Paris in the first place. It would be just donklusional enough to create a whole faux narrative about searching for the perfect Mule-in Rouge costume, etc.

    New Donkey bio title: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Hoof?

  31. JuliaAllison:
    Met up with my girl @JuliaPriceMusic in SF for a borderline insane cab ride to SFO – flying @JetBlue to LA.

    Apparently she’s not too sick to fly to LA….

    • God, you’d think she’d be smarter and keep her trap shut, at least for Rachel’s sake.

      All I see here is: too cheap to pay for a cab myself!

    • I wish I had a more anonymous twitter so I could tweet something at her about being “grounded” all that bullshit.

    • Her tweet about being “grounded” by a “doctor” has disappeared. It’s not even in her FriendFeed. Or did she post that announcement on her FB wall?

  32. So, where was she staying while she was in San Francisco? Housesitting (HA!) for Greasy? Where will she stay in LA? How many trips will she make to EarthBar and Runyon?

    • Elly’s couch in SF, no word of Greasy though I think he might be away. In LA, I’m wondering, she has not been twattering Taryn Southern and it seemed liked Donkey gave Taryn the stabbies the last time she was in town.

      She’ll be at both, every day, twice a day.

  33. Longtime lurker, finally delurking because the last few days have been absolutely priceless, and you catladies have definitely been keeping me entertained during a brutal week of errand running.

    And also delurking because I feel like there’s some sort of donkey-related hoof-and-mouth disease joke in here regarding her claiming illness will prevent international travel. Any European customs bureau would definitely be skittish about a sick donkey, after all.

    • THAT’S IT

      SHE WAS BARRED BY THE EU BECAUSE THEY FEARED MAD DONKEY DISEASE

      Hurrah! RBD has the smartest lurkers. Thank you!

  34. I don’t know why I’m surprised, because I doubted she’d ever make it to Paris. But her lying is so transparent here. Damn.

  35. Look, she has tan lines on the cankles from those horrible drunken-Grandma wedgies. LOL forever.

    Also, the Greg Schwem column is up at the Tribune but not under “Social Studies”—you have to search for “Schwem”. I thought it was well done.

  36. JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    Paradigm shift. RT @caro: 49 million cell phones in Africa in 2002; 500 million now. Whole continent has only 7m smartphone owners. #theconf

    What fucking “paradigm” is “shifting” here?? Did I miss the part where everyone in Africa could have had a cell phone if they’d wanted to, but only 49 million were willing to hop on board 9 years ago?

    Also, er, was this her “date”?
    traviswallis Travis Wallis
    Dinner with @JuliaAllison was amazing!!! Thanks for the recommendation @portergale

    • I wrote out something just like this, I even also said “What fucking paradigm is shifting, bitch?” I didn’t post it because the more I thought about it the more Canklestabby I got. Very glad you pointed this out though, she’s so fucking condescending, and the conference asshole she was RTing isn’t much better.
      Whoof. Thanks for expressing it well.

  37. Wow. Just wow. Obvious and blatant lie. “Grounded by my doctor?”

    She doth protest too much.

    Too on the nose. Too well-timed. She really expects people to buy this shit?

    She’s really a horrible, selfish and nasty person once you get past the millimeter deep, fake layer of “vivacious media lay-day.”

    CC: Lewis Howes

  38. JA has had a chin job. Hence, the crease in the middle of it. As well as significant other work. This “I’ve only had injectables and two nose jobs” is as true as “I’m sick and doc grounded me” or “I bought a ticket to Paris.” Karl Rove tells more truths than this woman.

  39. So, apparently to “prove” she is sick, she infected a whole plane with her coughing, sneezing, itching, scratching. So kind, our Donkey.

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