Donk Goes To Tool’s Conference, Believes Magic Will Now Happen

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At this castle for the group dinner with my new friend, Lewis, at Tim Ferriss’ conference here in Napa!

I just got this strange feeling my entire life is about to change in the next two weeks.

ZOMG! It’s not like we have EVER heard this sort of thing before. Is mercury no longer in retrograde? What does Astrology Zone say? Should she consult her psychic to make sure her hunch is correct? Is the universe giving her what she needs? Is she learning from losing? Winning by learning? Was Tim Ferris’s “life-changing” Greed Gathering as “life-changing” as all the ashram visits and the John Mayer and Taylor Swift concerts? Is she eating, braying and loving? Is she more aware of her core values than ever before? Is she the emotionally healthy Julia that she is today?

Does she never get tired of herself? That’s the question I’d really like answered.

Oh yeah, and one of the musclemen dudes is now her “new friend.” Take that Pancakes McCain! And Greasy!! This dude’s got 10 grand to blow and he’s ripped!

632 COMMENTS

  1. Does she not see how often she repeats this pattern? I mean really!? Also, SOOO glad she is telling us what she’s wearing. EVERYONE was wondering.

    • I know. I was really dying to know who made that cheap-looking turquoise faux-lace dress that you know she believes is very Kate Middleton. Dear Lord.

    • It’s FRENCH CONNECTION, silly. She wore it solely because of the label, which fits the “I’m jetting off to Paris” theme (and that’s the only thing it fits, amirite?).

      She probably watched “Burlesque” to study fan dancing. She needs to practice the strategic placement of fans so her photos turn out right — one fan to hide her thighs, and another to block anyone who looks better in a can-can costume than she does.

      • Call me ignorant, but I just visited French Connection’s website and was shocked at the prices. The dresses look like Modcloth, no joke. $228 for a cotton dress with an elasticated waist? Am I missing something?

        • FCUK you money. I miss their stores. I’ve gotten great stuff I still wear on sale there over the years. their mens stuff ( when it doesntnhave the stupid logo on it) fits me well.

  2. The scale of that dress is all wrong, it looks like it’s cut for a tween. (I don’t know why I’m expressing surprise at this.) And it’s not even so much that it’s too tight, it’s more that the waist- and hem-lines hit in totally the wrong places. If she had sized up and gone with a flat sandal it might not have been horrible even?

    That Lewis is pretty foxy, though. *hangs head*

  3. Life change in two weeks? I think it would show real evolvement as a human if she learnt how to put an outfit together that didn’t look like a “Baby Jane” tribute in two weeks. Crawl before you walk dear.

  4. Okay, so she stayed up all night manicly tweeting and blerging so all I can say is – it looks like our favorite TV show is BACK ON!!!!

  5. I like the castle.

    The dude looks cute in this photo.

    The dress is too tight, although I like the color.

    Please burn the shoes, scatter the ashes and salt the ground.

  6. I can’t believe she is going to Burning Man, bring the lulz! This Sonkey can’t go to a concert unless she”s in the front row (Taylor Swift) or walked in by a Melman (Cee-lo). She is not going to be able to survive a rave in the desert clomping around in her pelts and Baker’s shoes. She’s doing this for a guy and will be the ultimate buzzkill bringing her Blueprint Kleanse.

    • My first thought was that she couldn’t handle the nudity in “Hair” and left after the first act … and she wants to go to Burning Man? LOL.

      I really hope she finds a ticket somehow. Imagining Julia in the middle of a sandstorm is making my morning.

    • You couldn’t come up with a more amaze-balls plot line than “Julia Baugher goes to Burning Man” if we catbasementpeople got to actually script out her life for the purpose of the lolz.

      Please god, someone get her a ticket.

      • So true. God I want this to happen. In her poor dumb brain, she thinks it’s an opportunity to meet hot men. She has no idea what she’s in for. Plus, the chicks there will shank a bitch. Especially one in full makeup with pelts and really bad wardrobe choices.

        • Lodwick’s weirdo little brother is always at burning man, but I think he’s married?

        • Can you imagine JABA in the same general vicinity as Halcyon and Tassy Pink?? Lawd.

          • Oh god, whatever happened to those two? I know Halcyon is still around but I used to follow Tassy way back in the day on LJ and she just dropped off the face of the earth to be a submissive for this chunky Italian guy. She did have a super cute pug though, if I remember right.

        • ‘She has no idea what she’s in for’

          NO. IDEA.

          God, PLEASE let this happen. No way IN HELL Julie could survive even one day out there. By the end of her first morning, she’d be crying and begging Pancakes to MEDEVAC her ass out of there.

      • I think may see some epic “bitch please” faces in the coming photos and videos from Burning Man, if she ends up going 🙂

      • The “Julia Baugher Goes To Burning Man” would make a great movie poster! Is our resident movie poster artist around still?

    • she’s been trying to make burning man happen for the past two years. god i fucking hate this donkey. there are probably die hard burners who would KILL for a ticket this late in the game, and here we have donkey, clomping up to the trough like it’s her first day on the farm and she’s expecting to be fed gluten-free veggie burgers handmade by god himself.
      donkey understands nothing, donkey respects nothing.

      • HA

        JuliaAllison Julia Allison
        I’m going to try to attend Burning Man in 10 days!!! Does anyone have an extra ticket or two they’d like to sell me?! Bring. It. ON!

        blairgoldberg Blair Goldberg
        @JuliaAllison They’re going for $700 on eBay

        Yeah, who wants to bet the Donk is expecting someone to just….hand her tickets, instead of just selling them on eBay for a tidy little profit. “Here you go, you creative free spirit, you DESERVE these!!”

        She’d also be the one caught out without a tent, running out of water, didn’t bring food, missing sunscreen, nothing to barter, put out because someone bitched her out for littering, dehydrated and bitching in the med tent about how this isn’t faaaiiiirrr, she spent SO MUCH MONEY getting there, what kind of service is this, it’s ridiculous!

        • it reminds me of the time she wanted world series giants tickets for greasy’s birthday, fucking DAY OF. she didn’t get them and was completely shocked. how could a pretty princess not get tickets when she wants them?

        • Please please please please please please send Donkey to Burning Man.

          Fuck it, I’d donate to a fund. We’ll buy it for her. It’s on the cats, Julia.

          • I have a friend who is gifting her ticket because she can’t make it this year.

            Of course, she is ‘vetting’ people (I know that sounds pretentious, but since she is giving it away she really wants someone who is going to bring a good vibe), so Janks need not apply.

            I doubt ‘send this asshole to the burn… do it for the catladeez’ would work with her.

    • Seriously people, The Donkey is NOT going to Burning Man. She’s talked about it every year since she dated [Redacted]. She never follows through. She doesn’t really want to go it’s just some left over attention getting reflex.

  7. Is that Lewis Howes? If so, he’s a massive tool but doesn’t have “money to blow”. All smoke & mirrors and “fake it til you make it” like our Donkey.

  8. The dude looks like a desperate-for-being-famous, unscrupulous type: a failed athlete trying to squeeze out the last drops of fame by selling snake oil to gullible types.

    A perfect match for our Donkey!

    • Whatta tool. They’ll be perfect together!

      Until she hacks into his email and sends freaky notes to every woman on his contact list, that is . . . .

      • Okay, this made me laugh (on someone he endorses; probably written by the subject herself):

        “Sarah J. Storer is a blogger, speaker and storyteller who calls Columbus, OH home. Her internationally read blog, “The Naked Redhead” (www.thenakedredhead.com), is a quirky mix of life, love and relationship advice, sprinkled with the odd snarky musing. When she’s not writing for TNR, she enjoys helping businesses and entrepreneurs with creative social concepts. She is currently looking forward to debuting both her new TV and radio shows in August, and one day, hopes to enjoy the simple luxury of a full night’s sleep.”

        Sounds like Donkey Promo 101 !! INTERNATIONAL !!

        • Yeah, my blog is read internationally too – but I’m honest about what that means – someone in Nigeria googled “stretch marks” landed on my blog where I bitched about mine and clicked off after :22 seconds.

          I’M INTERNATIONALLY READ, TOO!

          • I wasn’t going to rag on an innocent bystander, but WTF, SHE puts it out there …

            The last guy I provided this service for uploaded his new profile on Tuesday and had a date for that Saturday. That’s a date. IN FOUR DAYS.

            Not a bad turnaround, eh? Especially since he’d gone for months using an old profile with NO DATES.

            You get all this, plus the priceless opportunity to finally see returns on your online dating efforts for just $399.

            If a dude needs help wording dating profile, how damn bad is the dinner convo going to be w/ him? Ugh. Idiots deserve theses sham artists.

          • “So…um…that paper bag…um…over your head…um…were you born with it…or was it a gift?”

  9. Does anyone else think her new piece (or “friend”) Lewis bears a vague resemblance to Prom King?

    • Yes. Same dumb mouth-breather look. Except that compared to Donk, he was actually sane and intelligent. Which is saying something.

  10. One of the guys she hung out with at this “conference” did marketing for IWillTeachYouToBeRich.com. Yes, that website exists. I just kant with these people.

  11. All these people remind me of the time when my aunt joined World Leadership Group and, because we were convinced that she’d joined a cult, we infiltrated her meeting. Oh, the platitudes! “Are you ready to change your life?! Do you want to play by your own rules?! Welcome to your new self! I’d like to introduce you to someone you will thank for the rest of your life! Talk about taking life by the horns!” Every meeting was the same, just winding people up to wind them up again. I think the only difference between WLG and the Tim Ferris conference is that the latter attendees’ suits probably fit better (save donk’s, obviously).

    • No wonder they have to sign nondisclosure agreements – imagine if they talked about how they were bambozzled out of $10,000 by a braying donkey. Tim Ferriss’ whole empire would collapse.

  12. 9-5 conference and a 6-10pm dinner? Tim Ferris couldn’t get his LIFE CHANGING in under four hours? Donkey took 5 hours to eat dinner and ignore the friends she invited? Girl ….

    • Can we talk about how she had a three-room suite to herself? Who pays for this shit? As I recall, hotels were not included in the $10K price tag.

      • But she was a speaker so Tim Ferriss probably paid for it – he allegedly made between 1.2 -2 million depending on how full it was. (eye roll)

      • just out of interest… when you google “meritage napa”, and click on the first result, does it also take you to blazonco.com??? did they forget to renew their domain, or something? or is it the curse of the donk?

        • I stayed there last year after booking the room on Hotwire. The hotel really isn’t that expensive or fancy. Also, it’s one of those resorts where all (or almost all) of the rooms are technically “suites,” so the fact that she’s claiming to have stayed in a three-room suite doesn’t really mean anything.

  13. Oh good grief…this guy she’s calling a genius?

    JuliaAllison @JohnRomaniello – I think the world NEEDS to hear your relationship/dating/love advice, darling. I’m very serious. You’re a genius!

    You can practically hear him grunt on his website. What happened to tech founder-y guys? These people she hung with at that conference are RIDICULOUS.

    Also–she’s tweeting out for an interview for the Social Studies column to some branding chick whose website she’s just read.

    • I can’t deal with the Twatter blowjobbing. I CANNOT FUCKING DEAL WITH IT. FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU. “Oh I love me, I love you loving me, let’s tweet about how we both love ourselves for loving each other.”

      • Are you kidding? That was worth at least $3,500 of the $10,000 fee. It’s called “networking”. Here’s how you do it. Pay $10,000 to Tim Ferris and he puts you in a room with a bunch of other morons willing to give him $10,000. Then you all exchange twitter handles and furiously type out and broadcase how wonderful each of you are. We could do this at a catlady meetup in someone’s basement for free.

        How else are you going to believe that in 32 years, Julia Allison is actually the coolest person some dude ever met? How indeed. She’s the coolest because she then turned around and talked him up. Easy Peasy. And it didn’t take me a 4 Hour Work Week to figure that out. Or 10K of my money.

  14. Maybe she’s finally going to explain that fucking paradigm shift. I’ve been waiting with breath duly bated since March of 2009.
    [img]http://i52.tinypic.com/vngplf.jpg[/img]

  15. http://www.facebook.com/lewishowes?sk=wall

    ^ That’s his public Facebook fan page. There is a video on there where he discusses “some of the mistakes people make when they’re marketing online.” He says, “Everyone talks about authenticity and being genuine online and the more you can do that the more you’re gonna get out of it.” He is some sort of Linked In expert, wrote two (!?!) books on it – and often talks about what a waste it is to be on Facebook or Twitter vs. utilizing Linked In.

    Hmm, he values authenticity and doesn’t respect the Facebook?

    I wonder how he feels about authenticity costumes…

    • Does this mean that the next TMS column will be about linkedin, featuring a quote from her friend Lewis?

  16. Just to be clear she invited friends to come hang out in her empty hotel room for a weekend while she went to a conference and dinners they didn’t have tickets to?

    WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE SHE IS. I KANT I KANT.

    I’d bet the girls didn’t know those details before arriving, either, and once there said “Fuck it, it’s a place to crash for a night in SF.” That or they were just using Donkey to begin with, because as we all know she has no real friends.

  17. The “Fast Anna” dress (hee haw!) From the description: “the look is chic with neutral toned wedges” (hee, and might I say, haw!)

    [img]http://i56.tinypic.com/9len83.jpg[/img]

    • I’m sure if she had not been called out, she would be using people’s answers to write her column. She is such a lazy donkey.

    • Really!? It would be appropriate for an interviewee to friend an interviewer on Facebook? Or is that just a stupid Donkey’s stupid opinion? I don’t do facebook, so I guess I am not familiar with the as-yet-uncodified but implied rules, but that sounds REALLY unprofessional (not to mention creepy and stalk-y) to me.

      • “Friending your interviewer seems normal to me, but apparently it’s really unprofessional, which is why I am unqualified to pen this column and am soliciting other people to do it for me. I have been a quasi-public figure for so long I have no idea what is de rigueur anymore.” That’s pretty much how I read her response.

    • She really thinks you should facebook friend the person who interviewed you for a job? That’s just bizarre.

      Interesting facebook aside: all the staff that work at a kids camp my s.o. volunteers at use fake names so the kids can’t find them on facebook.

  18. Oh.My.God.

    You people are really mentally ill. She’s out there being a single girl and the only thing you guys can find to do with your sad lives is judge her????!!

    • Welcome to the Basement! I have no interest in subscribing to your newsletter, but feel free to pull up a bean bag chair and entertain us with your righteous indignation. Did you go to Princeton by any chance?

    • How interesting that your name starts with K!

      Also:
      [img]http://iraffiruse.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/tiger-fascinating-550×412.jpg&imgrefurl=http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/58635960.html&h=412&w=550&sz=86&tbnid=5gU0tVDKlPwXhM:&tbnh=97&tbnw=130&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dfascinating%2Btiger%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=fascinating+tiger&docid=RduA__2uyz7ytM&sa=X&ei=R8tSTr_IEbKHsALGxKTXBg&ved=0CC0Q9QEwAw&dur=48[/img]

          • hahahhahahah.

            PROCATTIP: The most common cause of image embedding fail is linking to a pic on site that doesn’t appreciate you stealing their bandwidth. It would be super cool if our mods enabled an ability to upload pics directly to RBD but I don’t know how hard that is using WordPress widgets and if they would want to pay for the bandwidth.

            The best solution is to upload to tinypic.com and then use the “direct link for layouts”. Then, in the comment form, you will see a line under the “Post Comment” button that says “Add images to a comment with URL or by clicking here.” Click the “here” link and paste the tinypic url from before.

          • imgur.com is also a dead simple way to upload and share a photo quick. Simple enough my mom could use it.

          • This one is actually funnier than if you’d used a real image macro. Like you couldn’t be bothered to find an actual LOLcat that represents your lack of fascination thoroughly enough, but wanted to express your disdain anyway.

    • Hi Rumpelstiltskin/aka Erica C./ aka Kelleigh C! Welcome back!

      Last time you were here — what was it, four months ago? — you had this to say:

      “What your blog is doing is illegal. You’ve been shut down several times and keep coming back. If I were you, juliaspublicist and Jacy, I would watch the fuck out. The clock is ticking and Jack and Julia have significant resources. Tick tock goes the clock and time is running OUT for you. Trust.”

      Jack and Julia have significant resources, do they? During their five-minute relationship they set up a joint bank account? The clock and time are running out? Pretty slow clock, I guess.

      Thanks for stopping by, Lasagna!

        • Can I just say I think it’s completely asinine when parents take a completely normal name like Kelly and make it totally illegible in an ill-guided attempt to infuse it with some sort of originality? I once new a girl named Erica spelled Aarikah. Find an original name dumbasses.

    • Checklist:

      – oh *snap* my *snap* god
      – mentally ill (not exactly fat and jealous, but it really would take one to know one)
      – she’s just living her life!
      – surely there are better things to do with your sad (and angry?) lives!
      – don’t judge, bullies!

      At least switch it up a little, that was TOO easy.

    • Oh shit, is THAT how you’re supposed to be a single girl? Man, have I been doing things wrong. Guess my amaze-ballz friends and steady paycheck and apartment in OMGNYC that I pay for myself are going to have to go.

    • Your name is spelled “Kelleigh” and YOU are judging people? lulz. Come back when you’ve evolved past gills.

    • My favorite part of that thread…

      Erica C. says:
      April 17, 2011 at 10:12 pm
      Tell us how you got your career started? Tell us about your syndicated column and super-rich boyfriend.
      I’m all ears

      Jack has since dumped Donkey and if the rumors are true, Tribune is desperately working to dump the Donkey as well.

      • “Jack has since dumped Donkey and if the rumors are true, Tribune is desperately working to dump the Donkey as well.”

        Their break up was obviously amicable and how would you know what her employers are thinking? Also… libel much?

        • Repeating a rumor is not libel and no, I had not heard that their breakup was amicable. Tell me more. I love the part where they broke up because he was moving to Guam and couldn’t get serious but now is in love with someone stateside.

          • “If rumors are true” is the same thing as saying, “allegedly”… does that help?

          • Its frankly quite weird you pay such attention to her relationships and make up stories you know nothing about; it is quite troubling. I’d hate to have your karmic samsara.

          • “frankly” – much like “honestly/frankly” from donk

            “weird” – much like “strange”

            “you know nothing about” – much like the full story is never known because it’s a hobby, donk doesn’t share every little detail (just the ones that fit and project the narrative/image she wants to portray)!

            “troubling” – much like worrisome

            “karmic samsara” – ashram terminology, still in the queue, much like paradigm shifting?

            As for that last bit, I personally would REALLY hate to have even a fraction of Julie’s forthcoming “karmic samsara”. That won’t be too pretty!

          • @ontheotherhoof – my thoughts exactly and I’m really not going to be kept up late at night by a karma lashing from a donkey

          • @ontheotherhoof, don’t forget, all of her readers go by names that start with K!!!

        • Oh please, honey, re: amicable breakup. You would not believe the people who have told us differently. Not quite straight from a Pancake’s mouth, but it might as well be. And not just one person, not just three people, but several people who spend quality time with Sen. McCain, to put it delicately.

          • You run an obsessive bullying site but if you stopped for a second and thought about thigns maybe you would see that you can’t confirm any of this and maybe you shouldn’t make it up. IT AFFECTS PEOPLES LIVES. WHAT BENEFIT DO YOU GET FOR MAKING THIS UP! Except to fill a corner of your empty life. And no matter what happened, Julia is happy again and out thing to be single and mingle. She’s changed while you have not.

          • Hey LooneyTunes, I’m not making anything up. Has it occurred to you that she lies to you? That “Out Thing” minimizes and omits some details about some of her more vile behavior? Or are you OK with her electronic surveillance of her OMG OMG RICH BOYFRIEND OMG OMG, which is why he soon dumped her. Clue the fuck in you naive dumbass.

          • “And no matter what happened, Julia is happy again and out thing to be single and mingle.”

            ???

          • Strange she’s so invested given she had very minimal professional dealings with Donkey. And, oh yeah, Rambo is a bleached-blonde bitch.

            Oh Lasagna.

          • Kelleigh,

            The mods here actually have validated tipsters who provide them with information.

            Can YOU ‘confirm’ anything you say, other than the contradictory ramblings of a woman whose own friends have gone on record (in actual news sources) as saying that her reality is whatever she believes in that moment?

            Also, since you are so insistent that she has ‘changed,’ can you site one actual example? A single thing she is doing differently now than she was one, two, three years ago? Take a gander back at previous posts on this site — all with linking source citation to her own professed experiences. Where is this miraculous ‘change’ she has undergone? The fact that she sometimes wears cheap, gaudy, low-heeled animal byproduct cowboy boots sometimes, instead of cheap, gaudy, high-heeled animal byproduct, stripper hooves now and then? I bought a new t-shirt last week (it says, “Camp Anawana” on it!) Have I ‘changed’ too?

          • Yeah, she’s so happy being single that she takes pictures of herself gripping on to what I affectionatly term The Ghost of Jackie Pancakes (aka, the “borrowed” belt) like the Grim Reaper holds on to death.

          • Right? How many times have we heard her proclaim that this is the happiest/most at peace/so blessed time in her life?

            Gag me with a donkey brush.

          • Yes, Kellleigheye, Julia has changed SO MUCH!

            2002 – Pissed off friends by continually ditching them at the last minute for a dude. Vows not to let another long distance relationship take control of her life (after she already had TWO “serious” LDRs in her freshman year).

            One of her dating rules for girls: guys don’t like stalkers, but covert, small-time stalking can jump start a relationship. She recommends randomly showing up at places where the stalkee will be (but she’s NOT random, okay?)

            2003 – Categorizes her exes. The “stubborn ex” is one who “steadfastly refuses to hook up with
            you — even when you beg”. She laments the fact that she has a lot of stubborn exes.

            2004 – The year of no sex. And no writing, apparently.

            2005 – Cries during sex. Didn’t cheat on “most” of her boyfriends. Ponders why the families of her boyfriends always hate her. Valentines, yay! Halloween costumes, also yay!

            2006 – She lurves Valentine’s Day, despite the fact that she is on a long streak of them turning out to be duds. Halloween sluttiness rules!!

            2007 – Don’t hate Valentine’s Day, people! Whole Foods is awesome! Gluten mentioned in passing — woot!

            I could go on, but I think the point has been made.

            [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/jzbtee.jpg[/img]

        • …She’s out there being a single girl…

          Is that a job description? Career path? Is she a HGB Cosmo girl? Or a Marlo Thomas That Girl? Is it 1965?

          You’re half right – she’s out there, for sure.

        • Lasagna, at least change up your email so your avatar changes! You come in here at the same point every time in the cray cray “lather, rinse repeat” and guess what, nothing has changed and it doesn’t make JuLIAR more successful with her new sig-other! It’s better not to come in here and say anything at all really…..you are the tell.

          • You rang?

            Oh, and I guess we should start saying “Oh hai, Lewis!” as it’s likely he’ll stumble across Out Thing’s snark site soon enough.

            *waves*

        • Wait… we come here because we actually enjoy hanging out here and laughing about the public missteps of a nutball who begs people to pay attention to her.

          You come here regularly, to a place where you are mercilessly mocked and where you hate the company, to try and defend the subject of (deserved) derision to a bunch of unsympathetic ears…

          and WE are the ones who are ‘troubling’?

          • Oh, bless their hearts. They have no idea how simple is linguistic and textual analysis. It’s like following a Rachel Ray recipe.

          • She desperately wants people to pay attention to her. The crowd here pays attention to her. I don’t see a problem.

        • Learn what legal terms mean before you use them, you dumb entitled Donkey. Didn’t you go to Georgetown? Oh wait, your father paid cash to transfer your raft ass in as an unqualified transfer student who never would have gotten in EVER on her own.

    • So what is donkey or lasagna coming in here to throw down before the likely new obsession, Lewis finds this site? Oh sweet donkey.

      • I just saw a friend of mine at the track (running track, not the OTB track) who is very plugged into the whole NYC CrossFit/Tim Ferris acolyte crowd, and I was DYING to ask him about our new pal Lewis. Alas, trying to manage my pace took precedence over OMG trying to RUIN Julie’s life! (Hi Lasagna! You should go outside – it’s gorgeous tonight in the city and I’m sure that Long Island is even better!)

  19. Told you she would do a head-to-toe as soon as she landed a new target.
    Those shoes are a new low. Lets hope she wears them to Fashion Week.

  20. Why do you feel your life is about to change in two weeks, Donk? Probably because you’ve found a new dude, are about to change your magazine subscriptions to his address and overcrowd him. He’ll freak out and you’ll end up writing screeds of crazy at 3am how about how his deployment to the gym means you can’t love each other the way you want.

    Thus, in 2 weeks’ time you will be lying on Momser’s couch drying your eyes with Lily. *That’s* how your life is gonna change in the next 2 weeks. 

    • ‘deployment to the gym’ = I LOL’d.

      The Julie Show may have been boring the last few weeks, but you cat ladies sure have been bringing the LULZ.

  21. Such Mystery! Who is @Mike_Tompkins? And who are the “Other Boyfriends” she doesn’t have time for? Opening the Kimono indeed.

    • “Other boyfriends” is “Yoo-hoo Lewis! I am a very desired bid-ness lady!!!! Better buy me five dresses and some new pearls to wear at Burning Man, bunny!”

    • She is late with that video. He’s been a youtube sensation for over a year now. Also Mike Tompkins is married. His wife is tiny and cute (at least her twit pic_ is.

      It pisses me off that she likes his music because I like his music and liking the same thing as the donk makes me feel gross.

  22. It is amazing how every single gif on this site matches Joolier’s behavior perfectly….

    Yooooo hoooooo! 10k dropping Alphas! Here I aaaaam!

    [img]http://animalsbeingdicks.com/page/50[/img]

    • Well hell…

      [img]http://i1112.photobucket.com/albums/k497/animalsbeingdicks/animalsbeingdicks/abd-37.gif[/img]

  23. This is magnificent. It’s got everything—NPDonkey, random sleazy “entrepreneur” mouthbreather Ken doll, and a special guest appearance by Lasagna! THE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME IS STRONG WITH THAT ONE

    • Now this donkey is going to race back from Paris to go to Burning Man? Is she for serious? She is off her nutter.

      • She’s not going to Paris.

        I will not believe she went to Paris until I see someone else from the Big Party tweeting or Facebooking a photo of her there.

      • Paris was a bunch of bullshit. This whole burn thing shows she never had any intention of following through.

        Rachel, why do you keep taking the ass back?

  24. Does Donkey send Lasagna over here whenever there’s potentially a new wallet on the whoreizon? Feasibly there’s some method to Donkey’s madness at some point, & I’m wondering if we aren’t just playing into her hooves when Lasagna’s comes a trollin’ so that Donkey can conveniently show her new target how mean teh haterz are, when at any other given moment, we’d be joking & shit. I dunno. Lasagna is a snooze though.

    • Imagine being A Donkey’s henchman. How sad would your life have to be if A Donkey’s life seemed glamorous by comparison?

    • It’s been fun, dear, but I have shit to do.

      I am going to go back to smoking blunts rolled out of hundred dollar bills, petting my liger, and setting up restraining orders against my paps (that is paparazzi for those not ‘in the know.)

      The tinfoil and I also need to have a talk.

        • When you’re as fabulous as me, you take nothing seriously.

          #nonfatnonjellyseriousbidnesshater

        • HBGHGB — Just wanted to clarify. I wasn’t calling you crazy, I was indicating (to the new readers — aka prospective boytoy) that I am not a jelly basement dweller. I just take time out of my busy day of being 110% awesome 120% of the time to nose around here.

          Also, to talk to tinfoil.

  25. So, as mcd pointed out in chat, this new dude surely has a google alert on his name.
    Hanging with Julia can bring you google results, y’all! It was one of the three steps to tasting the magic in Tim Ferris’s conference (Step one: Write a pointless book. Step two: convince idiots to like it. Step three: shoot a load in their mouth. TASTE THE MAGIC!)

    So, Lewis Howes… how’s it hanging? Can you yell “fore” yet for getting it into the green (sgatniks)? Probably couldn’t tell due to the sand traps nearby.

    Is the ring going to be pear shaped, so you can cum instantly on site?

    re: plagiarist, donkey, donkey shame, grapefruits, jack mccain, i want my belt back, diabetes feet, mexicans, gagker, julia allison, joolier albertson, tim ferret, pelt patrol, pink dildos, i am not random, lewis howes, isn’t fame nice?, chupacabra, you’re welcome, herpes, fake-pregnancy, find a man roadshow, YSL, fraud, baugher, bugger, ineffable, paradigm, hooves.

      • I have to say that I am not the one who usually does the lists. I am drawing a blank at the moment to who that genius cat lady is… he or she should stand up and take the applause.

        I just thought he we would appreciate the new search terms associated with his name since he decided to huck it in her dumpster.

  26. I would like to propose that “Kelleigh” = Christine Kelly, not Lasagna. She’s Donk’s ashram partner and hanger-on so the awkward invocation of “karmic samsara” makes sense. Also she has some weird inexplicable girl-crush on Julia.

      • Hmm, is it possible that Christine lives outside of NYC (possibly on LI?)? I only say this because she compulsively “likes” anything and everything Donk does, way more so than Lasagna. I’m not sure if she has some sort of repressed-gay crush on Donk or if she sees Donk as “aspirational” (SHUDDERING).

    • Someone suggested before that maybe “Erica C.” was butt juice Erica Huss? I like that theory. Does anyone know if she lives in Long Island?

  27. I’m sure Lewis has already been here, he tweeted this wonderful tribute to Donks yesterday:

    LewisHowes
    A Social Media Game Plan From The Internet’s Self-Promotion Princess – Forbes onforb.es/n20ura cc @juliaallison
    22 hours ago

    The link goes to the Forbes article from a couple months ago with a link to this site. The comments on that article are pretty good too.

    Oh hai, Lewis. Hope you don’t own any pet bunnies!

  28. Aug 22, 11 1:13pm

    “What advice would you give a young professional about creating a social media presence? BESIDES “get rid of the keg photos” – we know, we know. Don’t have drunk pictures. But let’s go beyond that! I’m looking for more DOs than DON’Ts.

    What do you think?”

    bostonsquirrel 11 hours ago
    Aren’t you supposed to be a social media expert giving out that kind of advice. Why are you crowdsourcing this? It seems lazy?
    chescaleigh and 10 more liked this

    juliaallison [Moderator] 10 hours ago in reply to bostonsquirrel
    Well, the entire point is to get other people’s opinions. My opinion – and I do have many – isn’t the only one that counts! I had one fellow comment that he was turned off by an interviewee friending him on FB. I wouldn’t have been – in fact, I would expect it! Do you see why I might want to ask others what they think?
    I think the “lazier” alternative would be NOT to ask anyone and just assume I knew best – don’t you think?
    PS. There really are no “experts,” per se, in this realm – just people who have thought about it, read a lot about it, people who have some thoughts or opinions. I don’t really think anyone’s “come to a definitive nationally accepted conclusion” yet (except perhaps “don’t post drunk photos.” And yet people still do! Oy.)

    christine 57 minutes ago
    @bostonsquirrel get a life. haters please just go on harry potter fan fiction or world of warcraft discussion boards where you belong.

    @juliaallison I would say be careful of putting too much political information online unless that is your field. corporate america is sensitive to that. also – be respectful. if you have a username you have been using for a long time, remember that is searchable forever. something you may have posted in 6th grade can be found on the intrawebs if your twitter name is the same name. third – do not post college papers online. this is a pet peeve of mine. you invest lots of time and money on college. do you really want to help someone cheat the system? ethics are a pillar of an university education. don’t diminish them to earn a quick buck on papercamp.com.
    kind of random, but just my thoughts. <3

    • fuck “christine”/clizcurran. what an ignorant, stereotypical generalization: haters are NERDS who write HP fanfic and play WoW! let me just re-roll my 20-sided die to see how much damage christine has dealt me! hmm, none! it seems the 10+ people who liked bostonsquirrel’s comment are in the right. vapid twunts can go on Nonsociety or MoreThanMary where they belong! xoxo

      • So according to Donkey’s own PS there are no such thing as social media experts. Time to rewrite that bio, press release and CV again, Julia. She really has short term memory issues.

      • Come on, aren’t all the catladies doing the WoW and the HP fanfic in our basements? I do both! While eating Cheetos and drinking Franzia straight from the box!

        Okay, I need to get back to WoW. The RBD guild will kick me out if I don’t log 40 hours per week of gameplay.

    • Oh please please please please let Donkey date a Christian fundamentalist! That would be ineffably fantastic! She would start tweeting Bible verses and stuff!

  29. A little late night prezzie for all the good cat ladeez:

    [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/2jb1k3l.jpg[/img]

      • The dude on the right … is he wearing (c)ankle weights?

        Is there a point to the fauxto? Takes two to lift a raftass?

      • What a completely pathetic and hilarious photo.

        So are they implying how heavy Donkey is, but showing how strong they are they can lift her?

        Also, the guy on the left wears those asshole hipster slip on shoes. You know, the ones that say “I don’t have to wear work shoes” but try WAY to hard in doing it.

        • Her thighs are… um… not a photo I would want public. And her face… wow. It looks like they are helping their mother up their stairs in one of those medical chairs.

          • Only time I saw anything like that transpire naturally & for any reason was when a couple of guys who’d been asking my friend to dance finally cam over & grabbed her, chair & all, & went to boot scootin’ on the dance floor w/ the chair held too high for her to jump from. THAT was funny; THIS is just stupid.

          • I’m still over here trying to figure out how and why her calves are the same width as her waist. Keep wearing those clod hoppers there, I don’t think your calves are yet 50 inches in diameter. It’s a good look for tranny-loving men.

        • So I take it she was the only chick there.
          Jack the Bull Dog called it: circle jerk (Ferriss wheel?).

          • Thank you, thank you! Cash donations accepted for my upcoming OMG!! trip to Burning Man.

            That pic looks like it was taken at some gay bar during another era, and the boys are hoisting up the local drag queen after she just won Miss Idaho Potato.

  30. So, she only packed the one pair of shoes?

    Too bad about those awful yellow fingernails. Looks like Digger the Dermatophyte has been working overtime. Maybe we should start up a fund to buy her a vat of Lamisil.

    [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/121q4cz.jpg[/img]

      • ARE they painted? My first thought was that they’re stained from wearing some cheap old polish way the eff too long, or …

        #Hoof_&_Mouf_Disease

        • The urine yellow nailpolish was the first thing I noticed! Ugh, trendy colors are not for everyone.

          I just want to ambush makeover her. Cut off the stupid pelts and hose off the makeup! And ridiculous pose aside, but that dress in the background that’s strapless and long and flowy, with the orange or whatever color flowers, is a good look for her. It doesn’t look like she got it from the teenage whore section at some discount department store and it’s flattering for her figure.

          • I think that was an Oscar de la Renta loaner. I liked it, too, and thought it looked fantastic on her. See, sometimes you CAN make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

      • Oh man. Not long ago I bought some yellow nail polish because it looked really cool in the bottle. I painted like 3 fingers before I realized it made me look SICK, and not in a good way. I threw that stuff right in the trash.

      • who would paint their nails yellow?
        the same tool who would paint their nails caca brown.

        [img]http://30.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLinlzoildlkwBN5ppo1_400.jpg[/img]

        [img]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9s2h9fJmP1qz6dlko1_400.jpg[/img]

    • Wow, it took me three scans to see the medscape tag there… I actually believed the donk would go with “fungal infection yellow” as a color choice.

    • Wow. What a good friend. She posted the same thing on twitter:

      [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/2e3prog.png[/img]

      She is SO NICE to pimp her friend out to strangers!

      • Yep. Donkey bailed on everything, Rachel can’t refund the ticket and she still wants to go to Paris, but HOLY SHIT WHAT A CATEGORY 5 CUNT.

    • So Billow’s doing to be Down and Out in Paris due to a Donkey?

      Rachel, this is why you stay clear of Animal Farm.

      • Love Taken – but I’m sure anyone associated with the donkey would not be taken. They’d be all “America, you can keep her”

      • Seriously! She’s not even asking for last-minute hotel suggestions. Which, btw, Julia and Rachel – there is this website called hotels.com where one can book places to stay anywhere in the world. You can easily do it yourself, no help from internet strangers necessary. Crazy, I know! I’d consider it a better option than looking to crash with a stranger in a foreign country via twitter!

        In the words of the ineffable Ms. Allison-Baugher, who does that?! It’s worrisome!

    • I’d be so embarassed for Rachel but at the same time – I wouldn’t be because you should be able to put your hand in your pocket to stay at a hotel.

      What kind of weirdo would stay with a stranger from crowd soucing the internet anyway?

    • I actually do feel bad for Rachel, because I assume she (rightfully) threw a fit when Jabba bailed on her. Isn’t Wed one of the days Julia was supposed to be there with her? I bet Julia was in charge of the reservations, or convinced Rachel to get a super-expensive place (but if we split it, it’s practically free!!), and now Rachel is either left with no place to stay or a place way more expensive than she wants.

      Seriously. I would NEVER be someone’s friend again if they bailed on an international trip one week beforehand. I truly think it’s one of the more heinous things Julia has done. (And I definitely remember the MacBook ridiculousness.)

      • If a friend ever tried to pull that with me, I would expect her to pay for her share of everything she’d agreed to split with me. And if she wouldn’t, friendship over, because that’s just horrendous.

        But also, if I actually had to cancel on a trip with one week’s notice like that, I’d insist on paying for everything I’d been expected to pay for beforehand. Soooooo, maybe that’s just me. And how I was raised. As in, with manners.

  31. Wow, Donkey, wow. What a “nice” friend.” But Rachel needs to get a fucking grip, be a grownup and buy a hotel. Apartments in Paris are 1/2 the size of apartments in NYC, people don’t usually have guest rooms. How long have you known you wouldn’t have a place to stay? Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to buy this room 2 weeks ago when Donkey bailed on you?

    • P.S. Donkey was up until 4:30am posting a gown she wants to weat to her 31st birthday ball.

      Yeah, ball.

      She is out of her mind.

      • She’s STILL trying to make those Bi-Coastal Birthcray Bashes happen? Even into her thirties? Yup. She’s obviously changed a lot.

      • Did her parents refuse to give her a Sweet Sixteen party?

        I’m going on record now with my prediction that her 32nd birthday will be a self-wedding, complete with birthday bridesmaids. Bring. It. ON!

        [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/117eq6b.jpg[/img]

    • “….co-founder of http://www.nonsociety.com and weekly columnist for Time Out New York.”

      um—-I thought it was a hobby blog? and ToNY? rilly? so many years after being let-go? and not a mention of her shitty TMS Dear Abby?

      Julie, THIS is why so many people think you are an idiot, and NO, this wasn’t someone else’s mistake.

    • She is still referred to as working for Time Out NY??!?! WTF. That magazine must be pissed by her still pretending to be associated with them.

      • Is it even legal to continue to claim she works some place and it’s been a lie for YEARS?

        • She doesn’t like writing a column, she only likes having written a column (years ago)(for a freeper).

        • No. They could indeed slap an injunction on her if they wished. They probably just kant be bovvered with A Donkey.

      • The best part about this oft-told lie is it’s so pointless to brag about having a column in a magazine literally NO ONE reads for content. If she had a couple of hundred readers every week in a city of 8 million, I would be shocked. No one reads her, no one talks about her writing.

      • My neighborhood until last weekend! Why did I have to move to the Eastside?? Why???

        In other news, how about this one: “…she has made over 350 TV appearances in the last year alone.” Um, er, oops?

        • Somebody should tell her it doesn’t count as a TV appearance every time she watches a videotape of herself.

          • Julia Allison is such a liar. How could she possibly have made 350 TV appearances in the past year? She is never on TV let alone nearly every single day.

    • “She has become a virtual famous icon through her use of implementing a variety of online tools for self-promotion and marketing.” Jesus christ does anyone edit her drivel? This sentence makes zero sense. WTF is “use of implementing?”

      So we can go hear the sister of someone important, some chick no one has ever heard of, and some other chick famous for being annoying talk about, what exactly? They really give vaginas a bad name, twats like this. FAIL.

      • Can you make sense of the sentence below? Damned if I can …

        An example of what Get Clickable can do for a business is the increase in response rate takes what recent Social Media experts and press deem as impressive with results of a click through from other firms with 35 out of 1000 to Get Clickable’s typical result of 40 out of 100 engagement, conversion and click through rate through its methodologies which emphasize quality over quantity.

        For a social media mktg co in biz for more than 10+ years, they haven’t succeeded in making their own brand’s presence widely known on Fecebook, what w/ a mere 2,667 “likes’ … I wonder if the Ugly Zuckling will remedy that for ’em like she did for La Donk …

        • I cannot figure out what the fuck that crazy run on sentence means – it’s just a hodge podge of words… good lord.

          And yes, I would question their success if their own FB page has such few likes.

        • What Allison does is make accessible the interjectory assemblages of her voluminous vocal ability in an aggregation of falsities unparalleled by any other peers in her isolated and often bypassed or simply matured class of online personality profiteers who were once 25 and are now 30 and have adapted and found forward trajectory or migrated into domestic satisfaction largely outside the scope of the public eye other than the 5 people who still participate in their vanity blogs non-inclusive of the literal tens of the webcrawling sales ventures blindly posted in comments by generic non-human creations who increase the appearance of interactivity and presence.

          • I just realize that the problem with my comment is that it actually kind of makes sense. Throw in some “such as the Iraqs” for good measure.

    • “She will be sharing how she built her Social Media empire…”

      Wow. I guess the word “empires” no longer means what it used to mean.

    • What kind of crap “conference” is this?! They had Randi Zuckerberg and some event organizer on the roster and that’s it? And they added JABa at the last minute? This is why she chose to reschedule her departure to Paris? To sit in a restaurant and discuss her brand strategy? Which, as someone above pointed out, doesn’t include knowing how to keep your bio up to date?
      E effing gad. (Again.) I just kant with our little burro here today. Just kant.

    • “The third guest speaker is Internet socialite Julia Allison. She has become a virtual famous icon through her use of implementing a variety of online tools for self-promotion and marketing. ”

      This is actually somewhat accurate. She has come close to becoming a “virtual famous icon.” However, this is very different than a “famous virtual icon.”

  32. [img]http://i52.tinypic.com/2jccy7r.jpg[/img]

    Donk, this is your future. I mean, minus the man, expensive clothing, personal fortune and title of nobility.

  33. Umm. Hm. On the TMS Features Social Studies page, the latest sample column is bylined by Greg Schwem? Odd.

  34. Lies. Many lies.

    The third guest speaker is Internet socialite Julia Allison. She has become a virtual famous icon through her use of implementing a variety of online tools for self-promotion and marketing. Through blogs, videos, photos and social media sites, Allison has become an internet sensation and is recognized as a Social Media pioneer. She will be sharing how she built her Social Media empire solely through using the tools available, and how businesses can do the same. For the past three years, Allison has been a professional talking head, making over 350 on-air appearances in the past year alone, including CNN, MSNBC, Vh1, Fox, E!, CBS, NBC, CW, FoxNews, FoxBusiness, Fuse, G4 and others. She has also been featured in NY Magazine, Market Watch, The New York Times, Newsweek, Bigthink.com, The Huffington Post, LA Times, ESPN and many more.

    • Okay how much of this is blatantly not true? “Empire” try harder. She has no money, no company, and nothing to show for herself save a barely read column. “making over 350 on-air appearances in the past year alone” – this HAS to be bullshit. Really? She’s almost never on tv anymore. WTF is this shit?

      • She doesn’t even have the column anymore, apparently.

        Good thing she’s still working for Timeout NY… oh, wait…

    • HER SOCIAL MEDIA EMPIRE?????? I’m surprised she didn’t get hit by a lightning bolt for that claim.

      Why no mention of her current appearance on HBO? I found her performance in Youth Knows No Pain to be highly entertaining.

      • I Know, fucking Empire! All those books, movies, magazines, widely read blogs she has. What’s that? She has none of these fucking things? I guess I have an empire too, I have a FB account and I twitter sometimes.

        Asshole. She literally had to blow the conference organizer to get this gig.

    • This is why I will NEVER go to one of these conferences. All fucking lies. Now these three idiots are going to tour the country making money off people with these trumped up credits???? Randi will back off, she has a kid to raise and Donkey and Christine will grift together.

    • Colonel Tribune would like to kick a braying ass in the ass for trying to usurp his place as Chicago’s Social Media Pioneer.

      [img]http://i52.tinypic.com/27zyq8h.png[/img]

    • My kitten and I enjoyed the following:

      “She will be sharing how she built her Social Media empire solely through using the tools available”

      “Solely using the tools available”. So, she didn’t use any tools that weren’t available. None! She only used tools that had been invented already. Right?

      Also, an icon? Really?

      • This makes me laugh. Using the tools available. DUH!!!! God, the stupid, it’s on BOTH ends! It is to laugh.

    • hahaha 350 appearances! this year alone!

      I’m guessing those appearances include reruns of some 30 second VH1 clip.

    • Featured in ESPN?!?! Having your photo taken with Michael Wilbon doesn’t count – unless you are the Donk.

    • She will be sharing how she built her Social Media empire solely through using the tools available, and how businesses can do the same.

      So which is it? Founder or user of technology?

      Also, she only got any where because she flashed her ass at Gawker. Take away that one moment in time and she wouldn’t remotely exist. Also, she made her initial ‘brand’ by being completely reviled by almost everyone who ever heard of her. Is she going to explain that to these businesses?

    • She has never, ever been featured in ESPN. Ever. Calling in a fake Cutler sighting on yourself to Page Six doesn’t count as ESPN, Donkey.

  35. So funny…right after we discover a new person wrote the Social Studies column this week, Donks RTs her old column from the 16th. Such a fool.

    JuliaAllison RT @city_link: Social Studies: Screw cancer — let’s dance. @JuliaAllison on @twistoutcancer: http://ow.ly/6asRF (cc @JennaBenn29)
    11 minutes ago

    • Once again, your lame guessing games are pathetic. Here are some facts: Julia has a year long contract with TMS! And she has a week off for vacation as part of that. Calm down and stop making fools of yourselves.

        • Julia has a year long contract with TMS! And she has a week off for vacation as part of that

          Since Donkey only has a hoof full of friends, knowledge of her contract & a lawn guyland IP pretty much narrows it down to the pathetic one who’s been relegated to wiping Lilly’s ass … #ohhailasagna!

      • Donkey never reads here…

        JuliaAllison No new column this week! It’s my summer “vacation.” (Spent speaking at conferences & interviewing founders, LOL)
        16 minutes ago

        • Nope. Never:

          @JuliaAllison: Working on getting 3 columns “in the can” for @SocialStudies – on startup Branch Out, on RentTheRunway & SM tips for recent college grads.

        • You are kidding me right? You are fucking kidding me. I think I have to leave, i can’t deal with the rages.

          You are working on your vacation? First of all, just stop it with the humblebrags< NO ONE IS IMPRESSED BY YOU. Also, YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB. YOU DON"T WORK EVER. YOU TAKE A VACATION FROM NOTHING.

          I give up.

        • Are you backpeddaling from youre claims that Julia was going to be fired? Is this because you fear litigation? Maybe you should be, Jacy. Thsi site is shameful.

          • Are you commenting fromWork? Cause Julia thinks that someone should tell your boss and hopes you get fired!

          • I hate to feed trolls, but the fantastic spelling and grammar in this comment make me ineffably happy!

          • I don’t read here much because it really gets me down but I heard from someone else (who reads this place only to laugh at it) that you losers think The Tribune will be fireing Julia. The joke is on you. I hope I heard wrong and you really did not say that though. If you did, I would not be surprised if Miss Julia litigates.

          • Kelleigh, I’m genuinely concerned about Lilly’s absence. It’s worrisome! Is she in Chicago or with her dogsitter in Suffolk County, LI?

          • Of all the (warranted) criticisms levied at donkey, the one Kell-hay chooses to focus on is that Julie might be fired? Really? Hoping she litigates due to speculation and hearsay when the C&D Kerfluffle of 2011 went so swimmingly? I won’t even touch continuing to read a site that “gets [her] down” (Messica influenced?); the funniest part of the comment altogether is her source reading here for no apparent other reason than to laugh at it. That doesn’t even make sense. It sounds more like that “source” is an active reg in these parts (read: laughing AT Julie with the rest of the angry, sort of sad adults in their basements), spread the word on what they’d heard, and Kellay opted to play captain save-a-mule for Julie based on hearing it. Sad.org!

          • Okay, cunt? Can I call you cunt? I’m an attorney, at law? And I promise you, I will bet my career on it, no one from this site is EVER, EVER getting sued. There is no case, or Peter Baugher, Esq. would have filed that shit long, long ago because Julia obviously never stops whining about this.

            So fuck off and fucking die, you scare no one. You’re a moron, and you need to get a real job, becuase you’re pathetic and sad.

          • Because you’re a moron, and you live on LI picking up Julia’s dog’s shit, you don’t know anything, so I will enlighten you. Defamation is notoriously hard to litigate and win. There are numerous different privileges and defenses involved, she’s a public figure, and this site is obviously parody. So please, stop embarrassing yourself getting into discussions about things that are obviously way over your head.

          • If they aren’t going to fire her then they should because she’s a fucking terrible writer.

            Also
            “you’re” and “site”.

        • @Kelleigh C. – you heard from someone else??? But you also knew Julia was on vacation for a week BEFORE she tweeted about it?

          Oh, Lasagna, no, honey.

          • PS, glad your friends are laughing! That’s what we’re here for! Glad to be of service!

          • “PS, glad your friends are laughing! That’s what we’re here for! Glad to be of service!”

            I know! I think we’re pretty damn funny, too!

        • Kelleigh C. can’t comment right now… she’s busy over at GOMI:

          Karen R. says:
          August 23, 2011 at 4:38 pm
          I can scarcely count up the scurrilous comments in this post. I’m not saying that Miss Julia will litigate, but if she does–your screwed.
          Reply

      • dear kelleigh, i’m sure you have it backwards: that’s a one week contract followed by 51 weeks of vacation. FEEL FREE TO RELAX! julia sure is!

        • I call bullshit on this “alleged” vacation. If she can be stock piling articles now and write 3 in one week, she could have had an extra article ready for her vacation. Or they would have repeated a favorite column. The fact that someone else is writing it this week means they are test driving a new writer whether Donkey knows it or not. Of course, this is ALLEGEDLY.

          Wouldn’t want to be sued by lolLawyers!

          • What kind of columnist takes a vacation just a couple months after they start writing a barely read POS? The first year is all about getting syndicated. You don’t take a break then. She must’ve handed in a bigger pile of crap than usual.

          • A “favorite” column … ::snort:: ahh, that was rich, thanks for the belly laugh!

          • You never stop being hilarious Kelleigh C. I promise you, not one person here is jealous of Julia Allison. Not one. I know it’s very hard to believe but some of us have ACTUAL CAREERS, yes even in journalism. Go fuck yourself.

          • Kelleiighggg

            Girl, I am cringing for you. You KNOW that if there were a reblogging lasagna site, Julia would never go in there defending you. She doesn’t deserve your loyalty. I don’t expect you to trash her or whatnot but she would never be this good of a friend to you. I feel so sorry for you – Just enjoy the last few weeks of summer in LI and let the catladies play. Kisses.

  36. MORE LIES!

    Preppy_in_Pink 1 hour ago
    Hi, Julia. I just saw your bio for the Get Clickable event. How did they get hold of such out of date information? You might want to correct them before they make you look silly. Kisses.
    Like Reply

    juliaallison 28 minutes ago in reply to Preppy_in_Pink
    Ugh, I thought we updated that. Yeah, I’m guessing they got it from the bio on my site, which is from three years ago. I need to update it but I don’t actually know the password to the old site, so I need to redesign a new site, which I’m in the process of doing right now. I really need to take care of that! On my list of things to do. Thanks for letting me know, though.

      • Don’t forget media kit!

        How does she not know the password to her own site???? How is she updating it daily then? The lies! Well, I suppose they are better than the truth: just got fired from my only paying gig and currently resides at her parents condo.

        • Dog-Yapping, don’t know if this is a lie because she makes herself look incompetent, particularly for a social media guru.

          I believe she is talking about juliaallison.com, which was probably last updated a few years ago. And sadly not uncommon (though not a good idea) to not know the password for your site – maybe the person who did the development / hosting setup never shared the password, or that person lost it.

          Juliaallison.com shows up first in the Google results so anyone who goes there to get her bio would get the old one. But Julia DOES presumably have access over her Nonsociety site and THAT doesn’t need to link to her juliaallison.com bio.

          A WHOIS search reveals that Julia does have control over the domain juliaallison.com (if not the site). It sounds like her plan is to point juliaallison.com to a different site that she controls, but wants to create a new site first?

          But couldn’t she just create a bio page ON her Nonsociety site and for now point juliaallison.com there?

          I may be misunderstanding – Prof FC and other tech-savvier folks (maybe you also Dog-Yapping?) please correct me…

          Whatever the case, it does seem odd that these details remain “on the to-do list” given that Julia has Lasagna, interns, and knows tech-savvy people. Yes, the old bio is more impressive and may help her get gigs but why take the risk anymore? Better to just spin it differently to make it truthful (and Julia knows how to do THAT).

          tl;dr

          • No worries…she should just have one of her friends…I mean fans hack into it like they did her Vimeo account. Just sayin.

    • Yes, THAT’S the way you do the Web: if you forget a password, just make a new site! Like if your lose your house keys, you buy a new house. Simple!

    • Really? Time spent on that response re: the old site/cite/sight being outdated coulda / woulda been better spent shooting an email off to Get Clickable to have them correct the bullshit bio Julia Allison continually passes off as accurate, truthful & current.

      • But I doubt she would be speaking at a conference if she admitted her current credentials.

      • Combined with your comment and Dog Yapping up there, I think we can be servicey and help JABa out with that updated bio, dontcha think? Here Lasagna, feel free to cut & paste and forward it on to Get Clickable with our compliments:
        “Julia Allison, 30, currently poses for and posts many pictures of herself on FaceBook; she uses Twitter every single day – just like the New York Times!; she maintains a “hobby blog” (her description) where she likes to repost links from other people’s blogs, much like the millions of tumblr users who do likewise. She resides in a condo owned by her parents in her hometown of Chicago.” The end.

    • dear haxxorz of the world: julia doesn’t know her site password! an open invitation to crack it wide open! xoxo

      (this comment does not endorse any actual tampering with julia’s site, have a nice day peter baugher)

    • But I don’t understand. “I thought we updated that.” Who is we? And where did she think it was updated? On some other bio page that she does have the password for?
      Help me Lasagna … ize so confused.

  37. Are you folks in the east doing ok? Heard there was a pretty strong earthquake in VA. 5.9. We have them all the time here in So.Cali, but who knew VA had earthquakes!

    • I’m in MD – that was crazy! I’ve never experienced a quake before. No one knew what to do, so our 11-story office building was evacuated. Apparently that’s the worst thing you’re suppose to do in a quake.

      • How scary! I live in LA so we’re used to them. Didn’t even know they could get that big on the east coast.

        Yeah, if you leave the building, you can get hit by falling debris + glass. It seems counterintuitive, but it’s best to get under your desk. Do that if you have any aftershocks (not to scare you, but CNN is warning that may happen).

        • Good advice Dr Gary. Duck and cover is the best thing to do in an earthquake, and as far as aftershocks, if you can depend on historical earthquake behavior the aftershocks will be smaller than the original.

      • Burro, You are safe to drive. You won’t feel it if you are in a moving car and any aftershocks will be less than the original.

        Dr. Gary is right about getting under your desk or a heavy table. Or stand in a doorway, hands against the sides or top.

        And don’t go running outside. The danger there is falling powerlines or trees.

        Glad you are safe. Enjoy the adreneline rush, the stories and an extra strong cold drink tonight.

  38. Dude. There was an earthquake felt all up and down the East Coast and my twitter feed was blowing up about it. And then there are Donkey’s tweets in the middle of it all talking about Burning Man and Tucker Max, completely oblivious to what was going on. Least self-aware person ever.

    • [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/33ucvbq.jpg[/img]

      It is to laugh.

      Thank God the show is getting good again. Summer re-runs have been boooooring.

      • Tucker Max is a boil on the ass of humanity … he and Julia are two peas in a pod. Except something tells me he thinks he’s actually too good for her.

  39. Her column is so hilarious. I would never read this.

    Working on getting 3 columns “in the can” for @SocialStudies – on startup Branch Out, on RentTheRunway & SM tips for recent college grads.
    18 minutes ago from Twitter – Comment – Like – Share

    • what does rent the runway have to do with social media? it is a business, that rents dresses (funnily enough to a donkey who is about to go to Paris). Existing on the internet as a business doesn’t mean the way that you use twitter should be given a whole column. A Game Content! Comped Dresses!

      • Ya, interesting given her earlier tweet about arranging for RtR to drop some dresses for her in LA before she heads to Paris. Bit of a barter deal there, Donk?
        Tribune Media Services: Selling out for the shill, but now with more blatancy!
        Tribune Media Services: Our readers are idiots and our columnists have no integrity! You’re welcome!

    • You’ll notice since learning TMS is scrambling to remove Julia Allison from their circle (JUST LIKE THE MCCAIN FAMILY GOT RID OF HER) she’s no longer writing it at 2am the night before, but is no trying to be Serious Journalizt Laday by getting three “in the can.”

      I could be wrong, but print journalists don’t use that expression, do they? Fail? She’s so stupid?

      • Ugh, as expected she’s juiced up to capacity on Entitled Juice and drunk on the fumes of her own donkey shit.

        “No new column this week! It’s my summer “vacation.” (Spent speaking at conferences & interviewing founders, LOL)”

        Eat a dick.

        • Not to mention the “funny” earthquake tweet. This is what seems to happen when’s she’s feeling like she had a recent triumph — she gets haughty, Lasagna (sorry KAYLLAIGH) comes in to whit-knight and threaten LOLsuits and Donks, feeling the power, says something ignorant, moronic and insulting. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. And yet I can’t (and shan’t) turn away!

      • So much happens lately regarding ‘social media’ that it seems ridiculous to put a bunch of shit in the can (tee hee hee!) because there are constant situations arising in which SM plays a role.

        Of course, she never writes about anything timely or relevant anyway (Bin Laden’s assassination, Libya, BART protests, fill-in-the-blank), so it really doesn’t matter. Especially since we are the only people who read her stupid column (even her editors avoid it, as evidenced by what a shitshow it is.)

  40. she is being an asshole on twitter in between serious journalist lady posts. Funny that she is working so hard today on her column considering she is on vacation.

  41. She has out-cunted herself:

    @JuliaAllison
    Okay, we get it, you had an earthquake. Bottles of water were knocked over. Plastic lawn chairs are askew. Small dogs had to sit down.
    22 minutes ago via web

    • She is such a bitch. This could be the perfect opportunity to talk about social media when an event like this happens. But I guess you can’t shill for earthquakes, better to get going on copying and pasting that Rent The Runway press release!

      • Yeah, here in dc mobile phone lines were all jammed up but folks were able to tweet and FB away. The jarring thing was that we dont have earthquakes here. I’m a veteran of many earthquakes and one particularly huge and disasterous one (and spent the summer working in a crisis center) so it was no biggie for me. It was a funny kind of earthquake – up and down, like a jackhammer; I used to swaying, time stands still kind. Honestly, I think folks in DC handled 911 with more composure – the streets/traffic/metro are chaotic. I was incidentally right by Julia’s alma mater when it struck.

    • If she were in LA for a low 5 it’d be the biggest tragedy in the history of humanity and she wouldn’t shut up about it for hours.

      • Julia if it were LA:

        “@TarynSouthern, @CodenameTK, @ShannonElizabeth, OMG! Heard about the quake & thought of you. Hope you are okay. Keep your feet on the ground, babes!”

        • Lol… LOL….

          PS, is Donkey going to stay on Taryn’s couch while she’s in LA???? Or did she ruin her welcome after acting like a braying loon at her B-day party????

          Bets, anyone?

          (Cue Donkey who tweets it’s too bad Taryn is busy/has another guest/is out of town)

      • “Get help. I work for Julia Allison for no pay and dog biscuits. I have a right to judge. You are very angry.”

    • OH FUCKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU YOU FUCKING CUNTTTTTTT.

      I’m so sorry, are we interrupting your very important schedule of taking pictures of yourself, abandoning your animal, twitter fucking new wallets, and begging all your idiot followers to put up you idiot friend in France?

      Seriously. I wanna kick her ass so hard.

        • Hey, did you feel the earthquake all the way in Suffolk County, Long Island? Really, I’m curious.

          • Honestly as someone who grew up in and escaped LI as quickly as I could at age 18, the fact that this ugly chubby loser still lives there (with her parents?) speaks volumes. What a sad, pathetic little shit she is.

        • Hmm, let’s see, you work for someone who has a pretend princess fairy corporation, a blog as a business, who is a notorious lying, cheating, joke of a “journalist” who has no home, no real job, and can’t keep a man for more than 5 minutes – this is your “boss” – and yet I need help? Why don’t you question why you are literally the only person who ever comes in here and stands up for this person, and why close friends and associates of hers regularly tip this very website?

          But yes clearly I am the deluded one.

        • I’ll make you a deal. I will “get help” when you get yourself a real job that doesn’t involve Julia Allison’s sloppy seconds.

          If you really wanna play “whose life is more pathetic” I am more than ready for it.

          • Since when does coordinating opportunities for a public figure and managing a blogging community not count as a job? Are you for real

          • So it’s you, Megan Alagna, CEO of Nonsociety, even though you denied it before and just said a “friend” referred you hear?

            Megan, honey, you look like a fool.

          • And it’s “site” honey — not cite… which also proves you work for NonSociety, LOL.

            Although, what you’re paid in, I cannot even imagine. Don’t worry, someday Lilly’s dog craps will power a car! That will be like getting paid in something!

          • oh my god kelleigh, you are HILARE bunny! “managing a blogging community”? you think you are xeni jardin or some shit, don’t you?
            don’t step in lilly’s poop on the way out, dearie.

          • Watching Kelleigh/Lasagna finally out herself after being worn down by cross examination reminded me of Jack Nickelson in A Few Good Men…

            I think she wanted to say it…I think she NEEDED to say it.

            “You’re god damned right I’m Lasagna!!!!!”

          • “coordinating opportunities for a public figure and managing a blogging community”

            LOLOLOL!!!!!! So you are a fucking secretary, and do shit on the internets that many people do for free. WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!! My law degree and I are very impressed!!!!

            Go fuck yourself.

      • Well whatever cite you manage, per usual, I recommend enrolling in a remedial English class.

        If she does manage nonsociety (how do you manage a hobby?), its a piss poor job; the links don’t work and half the bloggers don’t update their material.

        • Alas, since one cannot pay for remedial English classes with giftcards or used prom dresses, the Mystery of the Missing Web Cite Password will never, ever be solved.

          Encyclopedia Brown shakes his head in despair, while Sally makes with the side-eye.

    • Kunty McKunterson really has outdone herself, hasn’t she?

      @adorablobs: @JuliaAllison uh as a social media columnist, shouldn’t you find this interesting

      @JuliaAllison: @adorablobs – eh. I find it sort of boring. But maybe that’s because my water bottle is upright. 😉

      @adorablobs: @JuliaAllison considering we don’t get earthquakes on the east coast, I dont know how you can find it boring. Especially in post 9/11 NYC.

      @adorablobs: @JuliaAllison There have been building collapses in VA and a spire fell from the National Cathedral. Not something to be flippant about 🙁

      @elleswords: STFU RT @JuliaAllison Ok, we get it, u had a quake. Bottles of H20 were knocked over. Plastic lawn chairs r askew Small dogs had to sit dwn

      @_carolinek: @JuliaAllison thanks for DMing that it was a joke. I’m sure I’ll laugh when I’m cleaning up broken shit tonight. Insurance claims are funny

      That’s always her standard answer, isn’t it? Calm down! I was joking! What a fucking cunt. You hear that JULIA ALLISON BAUGHER? You are NOT a ‘nice person’. You are a cunt.

  42. Just a head’s up another “Kommenter” is getting into the fray over at GOMI.

    Lolsuits are being threatened!

    • Is it threatening time again already? There must certainly be a new dude/wallet on the horizon.

    • Why all the damage control about the column speculation? Don’t get it. If she’s going to be writing for TMS until her contract is up then why does she care what people are speculating on here? Does she think someone looking to hire her to speak is going to see this site and question whether she’s going to be a columnist much longer? Because that’s just hysterical considering that her own bio is a pack of lies.

      • If she really is trying to be the ‘columnist’ in the ‘pilot’ angle, it won’t look good if she gets canned before it can pan out.

        If it happens after, of course, smooth sailing because people will be bending over backward for her Ask a Media Exblurt column, since she will be on the teevees.

        • This is exactly what happens in TV when a show is getting shit ratings. They replace it for a week or two with another show. If that new show gets any kind of ratings or reaction – the old show is killed.

          It is just my speculation (don’t sue me Peter Baugher) that if this new guy gets hits on his column or comments that are positive, they will hire him – it would be better to pay Julia off on her contract than let something that could be vital, a tech column, keep dying a horrible death.

          • That has definitely been the case in my experience of working for newspapers and magazines. If the “temporary replacement” gets way more love than the regular, the replacement becomes permanent. We’ll have to see how this pans out with Social Studies.

  43. According to her Twatter she STILL DOESN’T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE.

    How fucking irresponsible is she. The Baughers could pay cash for health insurance no problem. They pay for her plastic surgery, don’t they?

    This is just outrageous. Or it’s a fucking lie. Either way, Julia Allison is an asshole.

    • She’s responding to a tweet from someone who was filing insurance claims for stuff broken in the earthquake. She’s trying to be a bitch by saying “aren’t you lucky you have insurance!” because this twitter person was giving her a hard time for her eye roll at the earthquake. So she’s talking about property insurance I guess. Or she misunderstood the tweet.

        • Oh my GOD. There are few things I like more than mocking Burning Man (no offense to Burners out there, have several friends who go, etc…), but this is too embarrassing to witness.

          What’s next?

          “Hiyeeee! I’m Julier Allithon – I’m a jernerlurst who’s hoping to attend The Gathering of the Juggaloes this year LOL! It seems so fun and crazy and filled with edgy founders, riiiight? Anyhoo, was wondering if you kidz could “hook it up” with some “mad, phat tix,” y’allz? That would be awesome! I’ll totes, in return, hook Y’ALLZ up with with sodas and back rubs! Or drugs? You Juggaloes like drugs, right? Because I’m so happy I feel like a heroin-starved high lab rat crackhead who loves drugs! Lates, y’allz!”

    • You fucking KNOW a serious journalist when they use fucking three smileys in as many sentences.

      Seething hatred.

      • Right???? If I had a ticket, that’s who I would give mine, too. Not to a real fan…

      • And they love beer, too. Because it’s a crazy partay festival! Wee!

        Goddam she’s culturally illiterate.

    • Some Social Media Maven. At least four entries on Craig’s List – LA today for tickets, at $700-$800 a pair. Seems fair. What’s she going to do; shill for a free ticket till the day before?

      • In answer to your question: Yes. Til either she gets comped or a rich wallet offers her a free ticket. Notice the new glamazon portrait there.

      • Someone posted, after her initial post and before her second post, that she was selling a ticket for less than face value.

        I seriously hate this shit. I love the burn. I’m not going this year because I just bought a house (spendy!), and I am chairing my department at a new ‘alternative’ school in the district; there are currently two vacancies — meaning I have to develop lesson plans for extra classes and guide subs on how to deliver instruction. Basically it is a bad time for me to go, being that I have a REAL job and life requirements.

        This might be the straw that breaks my back.

        Fuck whatever idiot convinced her she belongs there.

    • A most clueless cunt, our Julia. Still…fascinating to watch her fail.

    • This is clearly because one of those Ferriss knuckleheads is going, right, and she is making her play? Which also explains why Lasagna is back in here bombing badly in her attempts at damage control. Jesus, ladies, think up some new strategies.

      • EXACTLY!!!

        Play it cool for once, Donkey, don’t go to Burning Man — it’s all about extreme self-reliance – you can’t even pay for your own housing!!!

        Plus, no cell phones!

  44. OMG!!! The LOLLIES!!!!

    Julia Allison posted toBurning Man
    Hi everyone 🙂 I’m a journalist who is DYING to go to Burning Man this year – if anyone, at all, has any access to a ticket I could buy, I would send them chocolate and cupcakes for the rest of the year. 🙂 Or beer. Whatever. 🙂
    7 minutes ago

    TRANSBRAYTION
    Hi, everyone 🙂 I met a guy this weekend and he’s really into Burning Man. I’m hoping to stalk him all over the desert but what would really make that easier is if you would gimme a ticket? Okay? Yeah, I will totally pay for it with tutus and glitter and these old handbags that look like shriveled up balls. ‘Kay? And can you let me know what five star hotel you will be putting me up in? My plastic surgeon says it’s bad for my botoxed face to be in the sun? ‘Kay? THX!

    • jesus h. christ. if the genuineness of the tickets on ebay is to be believed, she could get one for $100. or the frugalista’s option of “2 Burning Man Tickets with free RV and Jeep” for the bargain price of $25ok!

    • I can. not. wait. for Donkey to show up at Burning Man. Seriously, you guys, this would be the Christmas that never stopped giving: Drugs! Pink Cowboy Boots! Pelts flying in the dust!

      Please, please, please bebby Jesus, let Jules go to Burning Man!

      • For realsies. Those crusties will chew her up and spit her out, making sure to take each part of her when they leave so as not to soil the Playa.

      • Hey, Julie? I know you will probably crowd source for Burning Man costume ideas. Figured I’d go ahead and give you some ideas. RBN = servicey!

        [img]http://28.media.tumblr.com/MsQxvtL93gmc3ryaBS8ug65fo1_400.jpg[/img]

        [img]http://costumenetwork.com/albums/album64/WhirliGirls_002.jpg[/img]

    • The IP is traced to Suffolk County, Long Island where Lasagna is from. So, I’m guessing… it’s Lasagna, tho. probably at Julia’s behest. Tho. that’s only SPECULATION, I don’t want to get sued by any lolLawyers!

  45. THE FUCK!!!

    I think … I think … I THINK … karma just rewarded me with 2 tickets to Burning Man. Crossing fingers, praying to the Burning Man Gods.

    • Lather, rinse, repeat. She will end up there and lie about how it occurred. Bla bla bla and her coverage will be like Lollapalooza, equally lame.

    • THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE EARTHQUAKE GAVE MY HOMETOWN SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.

    • wow – she just called getting two tickets to burning man a *karma* reward?

      hope she’s right! her karma there = our reward.

      popcorn time!

      • I have the feeling that in the next two weeks her life is about to change. BECAUSE THIRD-DEGREE SUNBURNS DO NOT FUCKING FUCK AROUND, YO.

  46. HOLY SHIT, her “serious journalist” costume is sending me into a rage spiral.

    I WILL NEVER THE DONKEY!

  47. She’s getting into a fight on twitter with some other social media ‘expert’

    @JuliaAllison Why are you such an asshole all the time? Get over yourself!

    @kekoenig – You call yourself a “social media specialist” & still thought it was a good idea to call a journalist an “asshole” on twitter?!?

    @JuliaAllison Let me know when you have an ACTUAL bad thing happen to you so I can make fun of it or send out emoticon-laden tweets

    Popcorn popcorn get yer popcorn.

    • After 2 weeks of being quiet, this nut bird does not disappoint! Thank you, Julia Allison!

      • Damn, but that other girl is not backing down…

        kekoenig @JuliaAllison But I’d hate for that to diminish my point, so I’ll delete and edit to ask why you seem so self centered. Better?
        3 minutes ago

        kekoenig @JuliaAllison I’m not some college kid trying to keep the flipcup pictures off my FB profile. My SM presence can handle a curse word.
        5 minutes ago in reply to JuliaAllison

        kekoenig @JuliaAllison Yes, bc I know social media is a fantastic way to get your point across when you are truly unhappy with actions & messages.
        7 minutes ago in reply to JuliaAllison

    • I think Koenig was replying to this gem:

      JuliaAllison
      Okay, we get it, you had an earthquake. Bottles of water were knocked over. Plastic lawn chairs are askew. Small dogs had to sit down.

  48. [img]http://imgur.com/JGtdl[/img]

    Let’s take a quick second to parse this.

    1. Tim Ferriss has a massive bro-on for Tucker Max. Tim writes about his encounter with Tucker here: http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2010/09/28/tucker-max/. Tim thinks Tucker is the rags to riches story of the century.

    2. Tucker Max’s writing personality and content is everything Julia Allison was all about, then against, then all about again, and then against while trying to impress the McCains. That is… if Julia Allison ever bothered to look into Tucker Max at all beyond third party heresy (stage whispered into her ears by Tim and tiny twitterpated nitwitted fairies) or even a rudimentary Google search.

    3. But all three are self-promoters! Of course I’ll scratch yours if you flick mine and he gets his. Except Tim does it successfully with three hardcovers and Tucker does it with some resemblance of intelligible values. Julia Allison’s greatest fault is that she lacks a single backbone in the entirety of her personal life and professional career.

    All these people live in the fuzzy zone of society. The gray area where work is truncated to four hours a week, via faceless websites, and as long as no one is hurt with nasty details like. You can do well living with just implications!

    Back in the day these things didn’t make me sick. Because I never had to see it. But with the advent of social media I see these cretins day in and day out holding me hostage, acquiring currency of attention. Back in the day I would have been fine letting these people hobnob with each other under pretenses of altruism, justice, and success in dimly lit function rooms of decaying social clubs since that wasn’t my scene.

    But my god… these disgusting posers take the literal of fake it till you make it, shove it into any open orifice they see in you, and don’t even have the god damn courtesy of reach around. Unless it is politically prudent and they stand to benefit.

    [img]http://infinitynow.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/corndoggin_.jpg[/img]

    She sees herself to be a founder then a fangirl but that’s not the truth. We see country blumpkins of her ilk day in and day out in California, though rarely making it as far up north, the Greyhounds end up in Silicone Valley. She feeds off passer-byers, an ass pimple on another barnacle attached to a whale. How planktonian must be her fill! Attaching to whatever promoted tweet tag of the day, is rebloggable, on a lazy listicle, or can be friended with a measly click.

    These are all fake connections! Civilians can see this and the web geeks can see this. You never once mingled with the less fortunate, the front liners, the Angus Bethunes of the world in the brackish turbulence that is unpopularity, integrity, and creativity.

    No one will call her out on it publicly because she thrives on over-accommodating herself in polite company but we need people like her. If anything to show the thin pink line of decency for when it’s crossed.

    And by god, it’s been trampled so many times.

    • What’s interesting is that Tucker Max and Julia have written about completely different types of sexual activity. Julia pushes this Disney princess, goldigging, prudish narrative, but Tucker is a dog and proud of it.

      Watch out Julia! If this was his reaction to Klhoe Kardashian, he might not be that impressed with you:

      “Saw Khloe Kardashian in LA. SHE IS HUGE. Hows she not an NFL offensive lineman? You’d have to leave the stadium to get around her

      No way Khloe Kardashian has same father as her sisters. The mom cheated with a bulldozer or mountain gorilla or something massive

      Lamar got a deal marrying Khloe Kardashian; for one diamond ring, he gets a wife AND bodyguard. Downside: fist fights over leftovers

      The Khloe Kardashian fans are pissed. They should be proud that Khloe can throw boulders, bend iron bars in half, & roar like Chewbacca

      Cheer up Khloe Kardahian fans, when she wins the World’s Strongest Man competition, you can shove it in all of our faces!!

      Khloe Kardashian may be huge, but at least shes a good person. Her and the rest of the Wild Things were so kind to little Max”

  49. O/T but:
    [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/10zwxgl.jpg[/img]
    The options are: untag, ask your friend to remove the picture, or block the person who posted the picture.
    Why is she now saying these are fantastic options? Wasn’t Donkey just recently on a radio sex show saying that it really upsets her when someone untags a photo she posts? (And if they dare to do so, she then instead references them in the body of a post that they can’t untag.)
    Lasagna, please explain. This looks like outright hypocrisy and/or FB ass kissing to me – it’s okay for Julia to reject pictures she doesn’t like but no-one is allowed to untag themselves from the pictures she posts? Or does she now suddenly approve of people having a right to manage the use of their identity online? Am I mistaken? Please don’t sue me for being stupid.

    • Worthless information, just like most of the stuff on Mashable.

      She’s been sitting up and trying to pay attention a bit more lately because she needs to be in Bidness Ladee mode right now. Pathetic.

  50. I usually lurk here and I know I’m not saying anything new, but…

    Normally I find Jules entertaining, pathetic, etc. But, in the end, a non interactive sh*tshow of over privilaged mistakes that don’t impact me. Today was the first time she really made me see red. Reading her bitchy, self satisfied tweet about the DC earthquake as I left my office in a building that has previously been *hit by a plane* (all of our first thought this afternoon when the building started shaking), I saw her for the truly special snowflake she is.

    Thank you, catladies of RBD, to your commitment to calling this dysfunctional nightmare of a Lisa Frank exhibit on her BS. I salute you.

    • When my office was shaking I thought the same thing. The first thing I did was go to the window and look up at the sky. Bad memories.

      • A lot of people called her out – especially from NYC, saying that after 2001 – people truly get shaken when something like this happens.

        But we all know Donkey’s reaction to 9/11 – dress up like a slutty American to celebrate its anniversary!

        And she wonders why their is a snark site dedicated to her.

      • I too am a lurker, and very rarely comment. I have watched this shit show for about two years now, and I know I am saying nothing new. But What. The. Fuck. She is disgusting. She truly thinks she is funny. That is the craziest part. That tweet send me into a rage. Running down 10 flights of stairs in sheer panic, thinking we had been attacked, not being able to reach my parents, my siblings, my boyfriend, my friends, in those 20 minutes after the earthquake was terrifying. She is so fucking clueless it disgusts me.

        PS – you weren’t a Hill staffer, psycho. You were an LC for a rank and file Congressman for about five minutes. Probably the closest thing you ever had to a real job, too – which is pathetic.

    • EXACTLY. EXACTLY. You fucking whore, I live in and lived in the city that witnessed 3000 people jumping or immolated to death 10 years ago. When I saw buildings evacuated downtown I felt sympathy, and nerves, because, you know, I have FUCKING FEELINGS and perspective. She doesn’t get it. She never will.

    • But there are so many photos from which to choose that showcase those great-looking legs in that very same album, why would Pierce (LTNS!) comment on that one in particular? *insert facetiousness here* That entire album is quite showervom worthy.

      • I think we know which team Pierce is batting for now. “Your legs look great” i.e., they look like the legs of that hottie Ramon who teaches Zumba on Tuesday nights.

  51. I officially join the meme of, “I often find myself feeling compassion for her, because she is so horrifying but still a human being,” and then I remember that this show will never end because of her, because she is incapable of shame or humility or dignity or learning. Her learn button is completely toe up, y’all. She’ll never experience authenticity because she has no authentic self. Sue me, Kelleieighe.

    • i stopped feeling compassion a long time ago. maybe if i knew her in person i could find a human side of her? right now i can’t get past the fact that she can call herself a journalist and keep a straight face.

    • I would feel compassion for her if she ever acted like a human being with feelings beyond “What’s in it for MEEEEEEEEEEE?”

  52. I haz a confuse.

    So, Donkey has already bailed on being in Paris From August 24-26 –
    Cause she has to lick Randi’s cake at some event on the 26th.

    Natasha’s party in the south of France is Fancy dress on August 27th?, then Formal on the 28th. (Donk tweeted about renting the Runway on Aug 14)

    Burning Man runs from August 29 -September 5.

    New York Fashion Week starts September 8th.

    On August 3rd, Donk bragged/bought a United Airlines Long Beach Pass for ..
    $300/$1300 (?) for 3 months

    So she is going to fly from LA to France on the 27th; back to LA on the 28th; attend Burning Man till the September 5; get to NYC by the 8th; all the time going thru Long Beach to take advantage of the United Pass that will get her to ELITE status?

    O/T As epic as this thread is, I’m a little uncomfortable with “HA”‘s political statement/ pictures. See ya’ll next thread.

  53. Wow— I always wondered what kind of dumb-dumb would work for the Donkey. And now, thanks to Kelleigh Lasagna, I can see the stupidity in action. Working for and idolizing the donkey is definitely more pathetic than being the donkey.

  54. It is SO ON, cat ladies.

    There is definitely some serious wallet chasing going on right now. Julie just added this pic to FB:

    [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/2sbn587.jpg[/img]

    What Julie sees: I look really hot in this pic. Should post this so New Wallet sees it and realizes how hot I am.

    What I see: A whole lotta photoshop, a very strong resemblance to Khloe Kardashian, giant man hands.

    • Isn’t this from her talking head days, circa 2007? She looks like a Real Housewife now. Who does she think she’s fooling? I’m sure the innocent people on the sidewalk below really appreciated her exposed butt in the air.

        • Woe! You mean that right eye has been trying to escape for over three years?

          We might need to lead an intervention.

          Come to us, right eye! We believe in you. We wouldn’t want to be attached to that plastic mess either! Come to us, before you find yourself manically responding to this cite in the early hours, trying to defend the Schnabel snafu upon which you have relied for too long.

    • I love the ring on the wedding finger. “Yoooooo hooo!!! New guy!!!! I was engaged!!!!!!! I’m not random!”

      Also, she used to be pretty, she really effed up her face. It’s sad.

  55. Can somebody please explain Lasagna to me? How is this woman connected with Julia and what the hell is she getting out of it?

    • She’s Donkerina’s toady and unpaid intern. Who knows why? Maybe she is stupid enough to believe in the fuck-you money at the end of the rainbow, or maybe her mother was frightened by a runaway burro.

  56. I seriously cannot believe her tweets on the earthquake!!! Granted, I was in a borough of the city and didn’t feel much but this was scary for most people especially in a post-9/11 world. My hubscat in the financial district was real scared as were others and she should be mortified of her comments. I hope she fucking dies. Yeah, I said it. Come after me too, girl who doesn’t know how to spell the name, Kelly.

  57. “Anyone have suggestions for the most epic costume shop in LA? I need Moulin Rouge AND Burning Man costumes now! Respect the pink sequins.”

    Really? Really!? A Burning Man costume???? Can’t you ever wear…..clothes?? Does it always have to be some big dress-up event with you? Are you ever fucking authentic? No, of course not. I really don’t know why this shit surprises me anymore.

    Also if you want a “Burning Man costume,” (http://www.flickr.com/photos/10111/2197464751/), you might want to remember that people light the Man on fire (http://www.digitalmusicinsider.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/124_burning_man5.jpg) Just sayin’

    • PS, a costume should be the least of her worries, and that’s why all of this is going to be, in Julia Allison’s words, “HYSTERICAL!”

      She needs to get her ass over to REI and buy a tent, some googles, a camel pack, a huge cooler, some SPF clothing, etc, etc, etc,… I mean, this is some serious survivalist shit.

      She will not last ONE NIGHT.

      • Shhhh, DY&DT — don’t give her any help. I have one specific magical item I always tell first time virgins to get, and there is no way I am posting it here. I will share after the burn is over. In the meantime I am enjoying the idea of her life without it, during that week. It really is crucial, and not something available for sharing (at least not all the time) in most cases.

        STFU — To be fair, there is a whole ‘costume/element’ to the burn. Of course, the babbling burro has no idea — or just doesn’t care — that those costumes are usually hand made or collected over time with a lot of care. What she also doesn’t know is how badly the playa fucks up these costumes. Don’t go renting a $200 carebear costume and then expect to return it — stiff from sweat, spills, and playa dust — at the end of the week.
        Also, people WILL look down on you for the pre-packaged costumes. It is a creative, artsy community, not a frat Halloweenie fest.

        What a fucking moron.

      • ThissssssSSSSSSsssssssssSSSSSS + infinity

        Does she have any clue that it’s LITERALLY the middle of nowhere? And that you have to bring your own stuff? Dumb Donkey.

        But alas, as I mentioned down-thread, she will most likely grift her way into some guy’s (aka Wallet’s) RV and supplies. sigh…

        • She’s obviously going in to chase Lewis Howes or some other guy she met at the Tim Ferriss event… Donkey is such a shape shifter, taking over any man’s personality because she has none of her own.

    • Oh, please let her go to a costume shop and rent a $500 pretty pretty princess costume, wear it to Burning Man, and then have to pay for it because hello dust.

  58. There should be a specific burning man post on RBD that can be directed towards the burners so that they may observe the donkey and share stories of her pink sequins and asking where she can get a gluten free cupcake. It would be so great if she became a meme at this year’s burn. “Did you see that chick in the sausage casing jorts??”

    Unfortunately, she’s not important, and everyone there will end up being nice to her and she will grift the shit out of them.

    • Sadly, you are probably right.

      Just talked to a friend of mine who is a big burner. I asked him what would happen if a spoiled, unprepared, princess-y type girl like Julie showed up at Burning Man. He said the spirit of the community is to help others. Once she gets there and figures this out? She will definitely ‘grift the shit out of them’.

      • I’ve been to Burning Man four times over the past several years. It physically, mentally, and emotionally kicks the shit out of me each time I’ve been. While I agree that the community is made out of the kindest, most selfless people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, if you are as unprepared as it feels like shes going to be (let’s face it, she’ll need a personality transplant to be ready for something like this) she will not make it. What she will end up doing is offending everyone in her vicinity with her constant complaining, lack of respect for the core principles, and lack of basic human decency. Those around her might be nice while sober, but the good lord help her once the alcohol and/or drugs (yes, DRUGS donkey, drugs) start flowing.

        • Except the community is generally pretty nice to virgins. Hell, the first year I went I had little to go on because I walked out of my job the day before and had to pack in a matter of hours. (Though I had been planning to go with a camp for months, and walked out only when my job fucked me over for the time off and then had the nerve to pull some other shit on me after I’d already agreed to give up my vacation.)

          There is a real ‘virgin friendly’ element out there, and she will abuse it for all it is worth.

      • She will not bring shelter, she will not pack water, she will use the camp shower, she will not help clean up, nor will she cart out garbage or grey water, she will be fed, she will get cool glowy things handed to her so she doesn’t get run over by an art car at night, she will have random people give her trinkets, she will have others offer her costumey items since she showed up as a virgin, she will be an insomniac with no one finding it odd or pathetic, she will lay around in provided shade all day, she will get back rubs and compliments, she will meet guys who want to fuck her solely based on her vagina-having status, she will have lots of people willing to take her picture and have pictures taken with her, and she will be driven around in art cars rather than walking or biking.

        It is pretty much like the ideal life she thinks she deserves, save for two things: no internet, and her self-absorbed braying will be drowned out by the general noise. Also, despite the spendy-ness of the event, there are a lot of ‘creative poor’ types out there, who will get in the way of her desire to seek out the rich investor poon.

          • Wait, I retract my correction. To be fair, as loud as the burn is (at every. single. hour.) it will probably do nothing to drown out her braying.

            If a Donkey brays at a rave, and there is too much dubstep in the background, does it make a sound? It probably will.

            Story time: One year an intense white out hit and I retreated to my awesome tent, along with four random virgin burners, to take refuge from the storm. One street over a party bus was abandoned for shelter during the course of the over 2+ hour dust storm. The extremely loud bus played ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ and mashed up versions on repeat for the entire storm, due to operator abandonment and a looped playlist. We were going a bit mad by the end.

            I think that was the same year of the playa suicide. Were that ‘Total Eclipse’ substituted for two hours of donkey bray, the suicide total probably would have been at least six — to include me and my trapped tent mates. I can’t even account for others in ear shot.

    • y’all should be ashamed of yourselves. Can we get to 666?

      which is 4x as many comments as her articles [in all 4 papers] have page views.

  59. I just spent way to long making love to each and every one of these comments. Thanks you x a million mwahs for all the gigglez!!

    Oh, and Lasagnaleigh C? I AM a syndicated columnist published in 10 times more cities JuBah is in. I write DAILY and I could do it from a mountain top, a hot air balloon, or the belly of a whale.

    If I were you I’d start scouring the list o’ craigs as methinks bosslady J is yesterday’s news.

    • Agreed w. BLB. Although while this may be Lasagna, that code name seems like fuckery immediately came to mind as: Kelleigh C = Kelly, C. aka Christine.

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