What A Surprise, Donkey Contradicts Herself Publicly In One Day

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I am having a hard time understanding how this advice about being much smarter/more conservative about your conduct than she was when trying to establish a personal brand, given in a “poor me/it’s sexism!!!” interview to a Forbes blog, makes any sense following her most recent TMS column in which she basically exonerates some stupid young asshole in a made-up question for putting her job on the line by apparently being too stunned to comprehend the difference between college life and professional employment. There are no rules for social media, bunnies! And I say that because I was just as stupid as that young college student whose existence I made up!!! (EDS: And she still is). But it’s OK; all youngsters are dumb!!! Cut us some slack!

And yet, in the Forbes piece, there’s this: “Your reputation is the most valuable currency you have.” She’s very clearly expressing regret for most of the stupid shit she did when younger and urging youngsters not to do the same if they don’t want the behavior to haunt them for years to come. So why wasn’t that her advice to the made-up TMS questioner? Pull that idiot aside and warn her that her ass will be on the line and her professional reputation in shreds if she doesn’t grow the fuck up and appreciate the difference between college life and the working world?

I won’t cut and paste the whole thing — click on the link above — but hey, Maureen, thanks for the traffic and what the fuck does Donkey even mean here?

“No one with a strong personal brand gets there by just seeing what happens naturally – Kate Middleton comes to mind. A strong personal brand takes discipline, confidence, consistency and a clear sense of what you’d like to achieve.”

Is she saying Waity’s “personal brand” was that of a patient, serene woman who waited a decade for her man because she had her eye on the prize? Didn’t Kate Middleton in fact have to sit around and see what was going to happen naturally? What? Is she talking about? Or was it just an excuse to insert her lesbian crush into an interview?

Also, the notion that the reaction to her is sexist really is beyond the pale. Hey, Donk, none of those guys you listed have thousands upon thousands of photos of themselves all over the Internet, many of them from ridiculous fauxto shoots they themselves commissioned. None of them routinely sent tips to Gawker and the New York Post about their dating lives, I am pretty sure. None of them harassed exes and their girlfriends. The list goes on and on, but you get the gist.

To paraphrase Julia’s Publicist, the rules for social media or establishing a “personal brand” — as stupid a concept as that is — are the same as they are in the real world: Don’t be an asshole.

469 COMMENTS

  1. Posting a friend’s boner weiner fauxto, that’s cool, right, and nothing he needs to worry about in his career? Just checking.

        • Your name makes me imagine the best timepiece ever.

          Rolex, how can I get a weiner watch?

          • I was picturing something where the actual watch is embedded in the balls and you have to flip the ween up to see it. Despite her aversion to male genitalia, Julia would shill for one if it were made of pink plastic (so much in common, bunnies!).

          • The joke that this thread reminds me of:
            (Sorry for the cornball(s) TL;DR)

            HOW TO TELL TIME USING A DONKEY

            A man & wife are on holiday in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it is & he realizes he left his watch at the motel. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find English-speaking locals, the couple finally find an elderly man sitting quietly on the street w/ his donkey, Mulia Mallison.

            “Excuse me,” the husband says, “Could you tell us the time?”

            “Absolutely”, replies the elderly man, & reaches down, grabs the donkey’s balls. “It is 3:00,” says the peasant.

            “Thank you,” replies the surprised wife.

            After doing some shopping & grabbing a bite to eat, the couple return to the old man for the time. Again the elderly man grabs the donkey by the balls & says: “It is now 4:45.”

            “That’s amazing,” says the husband. “How can you can tell the time like that?”

            “Sit here where I am,” says the peasant. “Now, do you see her balls?”

            “Of course,” the man replies.

            “Now reach down & take them into your hand.”

            Hesitantly, the husband does as instructed.

            “Now, slowly lift them,” he continues. Again the husband does as instructed.

            “Now look underneath her balls, & between her two front legs.”

            The husband does as he’s told.

            “Now,” the old man says, “Can you see the clock on the wall of that building over there?”

  2. also, calling out someone who goes around half naked as someone who wants to be known for being half naked all the time: sexist?

  3. Kate Middleton did not get to marry a prince by posting endless photos of herself or by Twitter stalking guys or by starting a pretend business on a substandard blogging platform. In short, Kate Middleton has zero relevance to her premise. How does Donkey keep getting writing jobs when it’s so clear that she cannot write?

      • Don’t you see? If she mentions KM in every online utterance, then perhaps their names will become inextricably linked together in Google. Next natural step? Besties!
        Behold the incubation process.

        • And I love that this found its way into the intro: ” … or who has been romantically linked to Dave Eggers’s brother and John McCain’s son …”
          Mission accomplished, Hagatha. Two more coattails to ride on in draconian perpetuity.
          And why anyone with a single brain cell buys into this “personal branding” bullshit she espouses absolutely boggles my mind. Ego blog. Self-promoting EGO BLOG!!! That’s all it is, every was, every will be. Personal branding? F*ck the f*ck off.

          • I love that it merely says she was “linked” to Jack as opposed to the Clandestine Patriotic Love Affair And Co!Hab!It!Ation! ALMOST MARRIED AND ALL DOORS STILL OPEN!!! ashramplasty of a bullshit story she floated in the press.

      • Yeah, the Kate Middleton obsession is so damn creepy. You just know she looks at Kate’s long brown curls and heavy black eye liner* and think they look JUST ALIKE OMG BESTIES. I really do think she might be a lesbian, because how can you ignore the hot ass princes next to her? Even balding, William is a fox, and don’t even get me started on Harry.

        * I love Kate but her black eyeliner bugs the shit out of me. I thought it too heavy for her wedding and too heavy for regular daytime wear. I think she needs to hire someone else to do her makeup and not do it herself. / rant over /

        • As always, we are the same person. The black eyeliner is way too heavy — she will seriously need to rethink it as she ages — and she needs to put on 20 pounds.

          Plus, both princes are hot. Even Wills without his hair. Did you see him in those cowboy hat shots? Yes. He should just shave the sides into a buzzcut — he’d look fabulous. Donk never even mentions his or Harry’s hotness.

        • I don’t get the heavy black line on the lower eye rim. WTF is that? Who told her that looks good?

          • Yeah I think the sister does it too. Just no, girls. A pencil or eye shadow smudged under there, at the most. WTF? Or inner rim! Inner. Rim.

    • Kate Middleton takes up about 70% of her brain at any given point. She had to come up somehow.

    • It just shows she has no understanding about who and what Kate Middleton is or the fucking British Monarchy. Catherine is a future QUEEN OF ENGLAND for fuck’s sake. She does not have a personal brand. That would be considered to be grossly beneath her and something for the lowly station of the Julia Allison’s of the world, not a future Queen. People with accomplishments don’t need to be brands, they are fucking people!!!

      Fuck, the stupidity of Julia kills me. She understands, quite literally, NOTHING.

      • Exactly. She probably thinks Kate picked out all her own outfits for the royal tour and just happens to have OMG amazing personal style 24-7. Um, no bitch. Her every outfit, every accessory and every pair of shoes for every single appearance was planned down to the minute by a huge team of handlers. She didn’t just think it would be fun to wear a fucking maple leaf fascinator.

        Julia really is dumb.

      • Catherine is a future QUEEN OF ENGLAND for fuck’s sake.

        Nope, at best she is a future royal consort. You have to be born into the monarchy to obtain the title of Queen.

        • she is such a dumb fuck. no one calls prince philip ‘the king of england’.

          • No worries! I figured that. My only point (made below) is Queen Consort is still a few steps above Personal Brand That Is You, Wonderful You.

            And i agree with you! Julia is really fucking dumb!

        • Elizabeth’s mum was Queen Consort; presumably Kate will be, too. (The “Prince” thing for Philip was because nobody wanted another William and Mary.)

          • It’s different for men than women. At most, Philip could have been Prince Consort like Albert was to Victoria. Philip wasn’t elevated because he’s always been an embarrassing asshole and even his wife knows it.

            (I have a degree in History/Empire and Post-Colonial Studies and this comment is the first time I’ve ever made use of it.) #studentloansFTW

          • I heard that Philip was stuck at Prince because if they made him King, he’d out rank her. But i guess that’s what “consort” is for?? I don’t know.

            Also, I am not sure how the styling is really working these days, because they are ok with Catherine being called a princess at this point, even though she has not assumed that rank (she will do so when William is next in line, i suppose). I think we are supposed to think of the Modern Monarchy as being more open and stuff. WTFDIK?

            And Queen Consort still bears the title of “Queen.” Catherine will not be the head monarchy boss, but she won’t be a personal brand either. Which was my point.

            God, i hate that i know anything about this at all.

          • Yes. William insisted on being King, which TBH must have sucked for Mary, so that was specifically off the table for Albert (there was some freaking out in newspapers, etc., of the time) I doubt anything other than Prince Consort was even considered for Philip, nor did he probably care…

            “Queen Consort” is certainly A Big Deal, even if it’s a less big deal than Queen Regnant, I agree.

          • They became the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. If not, they could have been Prince William of Wales and Princess William of Wales. She could never be a Princess with her own name unless born so.

            Shoot me for knowing this.

  4. She acts like most people have trouble maintaining a good reputation. Donks, some of us are actually well-liked because we’re not assholes, not because we constantly lie.

    • This. The number one “secret” to being well-liked is being LIKEABLE.

        • Actually, “Likable” is “Lie” with “Blak” mixed into it.

          Soooooooo…when blak people lie we find them likable.

          Thus Obama.

          Look for this fun fact on a Matt Beauchamp website near you.

  5. “I do think the reaction to me, starting in 2003 or so, would have been completely different had I been male.”

    Correct! Nobody would have ever paid attention to you if you were an average-looking dude with everything else being the same. It’s hilarious that she thinks the reason she got “internet famous” is her writing skill, as opposed to dressing up as a condom fairy.

    • And PS, Julia doesn’t write anymore… she posts fauxtos of herself and wedding dresses. How is this a brand??? Or a business??? (Her writing fake questions and answers for a column that appears in 3 papers – no, I don’t count that either.

      What kind of galls me is this writer doesn’t even delve into her subject. No one has done it since the Media Bistro piece.

      If I were a serious bid-ness lady and I was reading this in Forbes Magazine, I would either be seething or rolling on the floor dying of laughter.

      • I would never call myself a serious bidness lady (barf) but I have founded two actual businesses in real life. And you are spot on: I *was* seething.

        What compounded the rage was the email reply from the writer to a commenter, in which she referred to Julia’s “entrepreneurialism”. I beg your pardon????

        If Julia has built nothing, she has created no jobs, she has added precisely no value to any venture and she has made no money. In a way she has created negative value – if that were a thing – since she is probably “worth” less now (less chances of getting work, fewer friendly contacts etc (than before).

        Here’s the thing: Being an “entrepreneur” ie building a business means taking a HUGE risk and working day and night and weekends and holidays (or those moments that should have been holidays) to try to build something of value. If you’re like me, it means putting all your life savings on the line, and sweating through meetings with banks, and yes, sometimes crying in the bathroom because it is SO scary and people’s jobs depend on you and you can’t see your way through.

        What has *any* of that to do with Julia???

        • well, by a non-standard interpretation of the word, julia is very entrepreneurial: she has successfully scammed numerous organizations and investors into giving her money and thus increased her own value, essentially creating gold for herself from her own shit and laziness. come to think of it, julia is hardly the only person calling herself an entrepreneur who succeeds in doing this. once you’ve built up enough hype, it doesn’t matter that there is no product and no value; the mere appearance of ‘success’ (used VERY loosely for julia) or ‘credibility’ somehow magically creates revenue.

          • This is a very thoughtful answer that I tots disagree with! But I am rushing off to a dinner of (no-kidding!) bid-nez women (ALL THE GIRLS) so reply will have to wait…except for this…I *wish* it were that easy. That would be great. I personally think that Julia’s trajectory shows exactly the opposite: that without hard work and a solid idea, revenue just doesn’t magically appear. Behind *most* overnight success stories is immense effort and terrible risk.

          • it’s petty crime and petty cash; headbands, tutus and giftcards

            it’s not enough to live on

        • Didn’t the writer say she had only just heard of Julia three months ago? Yeesh, clueless.

  6. The Kate Middleton comparison shows donkey’s true colors – she wants a man – not a company/business. I don’t even know how Kate Middleton has established a brand???? Waiting for her man? Getting thin for her man? These are the things that Donk wants??? While we know the answer is yes, so it baffles that she does not see why perhaps, she would not be taken seriously.

    PS, Kate Middleton’s brand, not Julia’s would could ever be defined as “Live Differently” so perhaps it’s time to redefine the brand.

    • Sorry so fat, that last sentence made no sense…

      PS, Kate Middleton’s brand, as well as Julia’s, could never be defined as “Live Differently,” so perhaps it’s time to redefine the brand.

    • She shows up wearing dresses picked out for her and perfectly coiffed hair and makeup. That’s some personal brand right there. Fucking stand there looking skinny and shiny next to a prince. Wow. Something to aspire to right there.

      When she opens her mouth and actually says something, anything, then I’ll give her some credit. I don’t get what she does and why anyone cares.

    • So true. And the reasons she likes Kate are so fucked up. Nobody really knows anything about her. All Julia knows is that Kate wears demure, pretty outfits and submissively stands beside a rich man at public events.

      And in reference to Kate’s ‘brand’, I guess Julia thinks Kate built a brand by sacrificing her career and privacy for years in order to get married?!

      • This is why Julia loves Kate. She is her role model in every way.

        1) Kate did nothing except get married to become famous
        2) Kate is fashionable even though she doesn’t dress herself
        3) Kate has money even though she doesn’t have to work
        4) Kate is adored by people who know nothing of her true personality
        5) Kate gets 24 hour attention for doing absolutely nothing.
        6) Kate gets to fly/helicopter EVERYWHERE she goes!

        Pretty safe to say this is The Donkey Dream Job!

        Also, this may sound weird coming from a guy but… can we not speculate Julia is a lesbian? I think that would be very offensive to lesbians. Julia has a lady-crush just like we straight guys sometimes develop man-crushes (until they break our hearts by NOT CALLING BACK) 😛

    • Here’s the thing: when Donks talks about her “brand”, what she secretly means is “the celebrity status I have in my own fucking head”. Seriously, she’s not dumb enough to say it aloud, but read that article, and every time she says “my brand”, replace that with, “my celebrity”. Like she’s a star. That’s her hidden meaning and delusion.

      And as people have said, Kate Middleton has nothing at all to do with that nonsense. Kate has royal status, and since the wedding, an authentic kind of popular stardom. She doesn’t need something as dismal and tacky as a “brand”, Kate got her prince in part because she was cautious to eschew even the slightest hint of self-promotion, ever. Calling one’s self a “brand” is sheer naked self-promotion. Opposite-land!

  7. From the Forbes column:
    “Anyone who says this is either delusional or a masochist. No one in their right mind believes that any publicity is good publicity. That’s just what well-meaning people say to their friends who get bad publicity so they don’t feel quite as crappy. Bad publicity is bad publicity, end of story.”

    From the mediabistro article:
    “Julia’s been a natural disaster since I met her,” says Osgood, one of her best friends and a potential running mate on the reality show. “Julia appreciates how rules are important in society. But she can’t appreciate how they might apply to her. I met her in middle school social studies where the textbooks read primitive man did this, primitive man did that, and Julia went through every textbook changing it to primitive man/woman. And I was like, ‘who the hell is that?’ Even then, she was saying ‘any attention is good attention.”

    • (but of course, donk would be too dense to understand the definition of ‘man’ = all humans collectively; mankind, humankind. she is and always has been a TOOL.)

      • actually, i take exception to that

        calling all people “man” is sexist

        would a man like it if all people were called “woman”?

        that said, it was a childish stunt

        • i mostly agree. BUT, it has been a long-standing convention. for example, when i first read (bertrand) russell, i was confused why he was using ‘man this’ and ‘man that’ in his universal logical arguments. he meant ‘mankind’, not ‘a man’ or ‘men’, and up until very recently, that has been the convention (because publishing/writing/logic/associated fields/everything in the world has long been a patriarchy, and probably because everyone involved didn’t bother to give it a second thought. we are of course more enlightened now*.) anyway, just saying there is a reason (justified or not) why ‘man’ would be used in this way.
          *all the above including this is debatable.

          • It’s called the masculine generic, and it was brutally fought by the wave of feminism in which I came of age. I’ll never feel all right with it, and I find it impossible to use in my own writing. Not scolding — just saying.

        • More sexist than how contraptions are assigned a female gender? (e.g. “She’s a beaut!” re: a car)

          As MareMare BeachHair says: “Let’s not slip hairs”

        • See, I don’t think it’s childish. I think that’s a totally valid statement of protest. The thing that kills me is that Julia would never in a million years do anything like that now. She’d be underlining sentences and posting photos of it with the caption “Does this mean primitive women didn’t get primitive bridal showers?? OH NOES!”

  8. From the article: “I decided that I had to interview her and get her take on how to build an online brand from scratch.”

    Transbraytion: Her publicist who is desperately trying to rehab her career has been shoving her down my throat for months.

    • I DON”T FUCKING GET IT. I refuse to read this, but am I missing something? Is she known for having a great “Brand?” No, she’s not. So shut the fuck up then, Julia.

      She just declares herself an expert in shit that she knows nothing about. Rinse and repeat. Today it’s social media and personal branding, yesterday it was dating, tomorrow it’ll be something else.

      • I think what surprises me the most is that a writer of Forbes Woman would not be more selective is choosing a successful woman to interview… the author should be fascinated to incredibly talented and dynamic woman and Julia is not… I’m sort of embarrassed for the author. Even if Julia truly intrigues her, I would think some minor research – 70% of the links of NonSociety do not work, have not been updated… and the front page was just updated after being abandoned for a year.

        It makes this whole Forbes Woman section look like a joke.

        • When you say 70% of the NonSociety links do not work, are you referring to the fact that most of the contributor links now look like this?

          http://http//tj.nonsociety.com/

          Obviously whoever “fixed” them the other day did not bother to even test whether they worked.

          No, I will not reveal how to fix this because it is WAY TOO FUNNY to a professional web dork like myself.

          Has Asha always been at the bottom of the contributor list? I find that worrisome. Being “above the fold” applies to web design too yanno!

          • Meghannaise has been at the bottom, I think since they started putting the newest dweebs on there. I like to think that she was counting on boredom kicking in before most people got that far, as if she doesn’t want the association.

    • I agree. Her publicist has to probably beg others to write about her. It makes no sense, she has no accomplishes and has been fired from each job. She writes a blog, why should this be rewarded in Forbes?!

      I really can’t stand her. I get angrier each day that she gets rewarded for her stupid behavior. Shouldn’t one grow up by 30?!

  9. I give you all credit for being able to stomach her drivel. I cannot. But I’ve been sick to death of her “brand” bullshittery since she started spouting out her humongous gaping hole about it.

    Like I’m gonna take advice about building my personal brand from someone who is literally a waste of life, not known by anyone anymore, for anything, other than being a tremendous joke. Just marry rich and disappear already.

  10. Your reputation is something bestowed upon you by other people, based on your conduct, attitude and overall value that you bring to the table.

    Which explains why Julia’s is and always will be in the shitter.

    • The writer is fascinated by her and her thoughts on personal branding. Donkey goes into talking about Kate Middleton’s stealth moves with managing her own personal brand (um, WTF????)

      It’s basically amounts to an article that is no better than one of Julia’s. The author does no digging, just let’s Julia go on and on about she wouldn’t be so maligned if she were a man.

      It makes me crazy when woman play the sexism card. And I would think in a section called “Forbes Woman” – the author would do a little background checking on the person crying sexism before letting them do that…

    • Can’t wait for Juliar to list “profiled by Forbes” in her list of accomplishments. Instead of “by Forbes Woman,” of course. You just know this is going to happen.

  11. I just saw red when I read this comment on her blog;

    by LexiBee2011
    You’re not the first person to do yoga outside, ya know? Also, shouldn’t you be disclosing that this was a FREE yoga class?

    by juliaallison
    It’s not the first time I’ve done yoga outdoors – just was one of the most beautiful places!!

    And sure … I guess I never even thought of it as a “free” class, because it was a friend offering to do yoga with us outdoors, but if you feel I need to disclose that no money changed hands, well, here you go!

    Should I also disclose when friends of mine make me dinner – but I don’t pay them? 😉 What about when I take people out to dinner and they mention it on Twitter – should they disclose? I mean, come on.

    But then look at this catlady comment from the last post:

    https://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/07/12/two-tools-stage-photos/#comment-240482

    HOW CAN SHE JUST LIE LIKE THAT.

    • She’s such a fucking asshole. Um, asshole? There are laws about this shit. Perhaps you should familiarize yourself with them, seeing as to how this is your career and all. And you have a crack team of lawyers working on your very important contractual negotiations. Because I’m sure this stupid bitch who gave you the free lesson expected nothing in return.

    • God what a cunt. THIS is why your reputation sucks, Julia. You’re a raging asshole, plain and simple.

      • I don’t understand why she evens posts comments if all she is going to do is be passive aggressive with a commenter. I would guess as a blogger, all you have is your readership but that would only go away if you are constantly condescending to them.

    • Uggh. First of all, Dian is not her “friend”. They have a mutual friend, and she thought if Julia linked to her page, she’d get some new clients. In exchange, Julia got a free yoga class. End of story. Julia has no real friends in LA. Trust. Secondly, if that’s “one of the most beautiful places” Julia has ever done outdoor yoga i feel sorry for her. She’s in Santa Monica. The ocean she is looking out onto is so polluted i wouldn’t stick my toe in it. What you don’t see in the photo is the super busy street to the back of her called Ocean Ave. Traffic central. Not to mention the dog crap, homeless people, and trash. She forgets that people who actually LIVE in LA read her blog and can totally call her out on her bullshit.

    • Yes, Julia, if your friends are professional cooks, you should disclose if they make you dinner for free if you discuss it publicly at all. If your friend is a professional yoga instructor, you should disclose if she gives you free services unless you keep the whole thing to yourself.

      Willful ignorance isn’t cute, Julia, and it doesn’t excuse the fact that most brays emanating from your gaping maw are lies, including these misrepresentations of your relationships with people giving you services.

    • Most glaring lie in her statement: “when I take people out to dinner.”

      Bitch please. No one would ever have to disclose that, because you never pick up the check.

  12. Point out specific Twitter gaffes and explain why they present public relations problems. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it.
    Point out specific Twitter gaffes and explain why they present public relations problems. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it.

    (from the latest colyum of sham and shame)

    • God! The braying, honking laugh! The bobby pin mullet is back!

      She is so damn condescending to seniors. “How would you tell a five year old to do it?” FUCK YOU. They’re not all confused, senile idiots Julia. It says a lot about how she views her own grandparents that she’s poking fun at them on TV.

      • The braying, incessant head nodding, the bloated, scary face. It is too hard to watch. If you put a side by side comparison from 2005/6 to today, I bet it wouldn’t look like the same person.

        Listening to her talk, blink, nod, I can’t imagine how she’d keep any friends.

      • People now in their 40s and 50s are the ones who invented the technology people in their 20s and 30s are using, and when it was being invented people in their 70s and 80s now were only in their 50s and 60s and if they could read and write they were technologically literate for their times

        There are as many 20 year olds who are technologically illiterate as there older people

        Older people who are out of it are just out of it, but the ones who are still sharp are sharp across all dimensions

        Also: adjust your fucking monitor.

      • actually I thought there were some good tips (framing it in the context of ‘think about it like you’re teaching a 5-year-old’ is sickeningly condescending), but anyway… my dad lost his hearing and was in his 80s when we got him his first computer to communicate – e-mail, web surfing, chat rooms were his link to the world. Yes, we had to start at square 1 and step him through everything but didn’t need to over-simplify, either. He learned what he wanted to do and then ran with it. My mom, on the other hand, won’t go near a computer. She just won’t. There are people who are receptive and open to learning about computers and electronic devices and using them, and then there are those who aren’t. Not because they’re stupid or incapable, but because they don’t want to. And that’s fine.

    • “My grandmother, for example, just calls up my aunt”

      “Why doesn’t she call your own mom or dad, Julia? Have the tech expert of the hour, taught your own parents how to use a computer? Oh, your mom doesn’t talk to your grandmother, I see. Wait, WHAT? Huh? They do.not. talk to each other … WHY NOT? How long has this been going on? MORE THAN THIRTY YEARS! I … I … shit man, your family is nuts! No wonder you … uh oh we will be right back folks, right after this message from our sponsor!”

      ::crickets::

      “What do you mean our sponsor, SONY, dumped us just 30 seconds ago?”

    • she’s terrible, it doesn’t seem like she prepared at all. She never focuses on practical ideas regarding the subject, and just howls and brays and rocks back and forth like a crazee.
      Also—lump of injectable goo over her eye.

    • God she’s irritating to watch. The constant moving around, hand geatures, head nodding, and hick sounding laugh. How does she get TV appearances?

      I work with someone who nods her head averytime someone says anything in a meeting. I always feel like reaching across the table and smacking her in the head.

    • I’m pretty sure TMS cut a deal with this new show (not sure how they’re connected, if at all).

      On her FB she put a screen shot of her disastrous first appearance saying it was the “first in a series of segments over the next few months…”

      I would assume she wouldn’t say that unless she knew they were having her back. I’ve been waiting to see if they did after that #officialweddingtweet bullshit, but here she is. I would also assume any producers with any kind of business savvy wouldn’t have her back if they didn’t have a signed contract and didn’t have to.

      I don’t think this will be the last crazy talking head appearance on this local morning crap.

      • They’re not connected at all, but the shtick with Windy City Live is to use all local talent. Also, all cheap talent.

        DONKEY JUST GOT ANOTHER 200 SOME-ODD BUCKS OF FUCK YOU MONEY, BUNNIES!

        • They’re not connected at all? Ummm, errrr… Tribune *owns* WGN. That shitty show is produced and aired by WGN.

          Hope this helps.

          • Windy City LIVE is produced and aired by WLS, ABC Channel 7, not by WGN, CW Network Channel 9.

            Hope this helps!

          • SOME WLS HISTORY FROM WIKI:

            ‘The station first went on the air as […] in Chicago […] as WENR-TV

            Donkey peen on WE(i)N(e)R-TV?
            I did NOT see that one coming!

          • @How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back

            ‘I did NOT see that one coming!’

            That’s what she said.

            Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Try the veal!

      • I was wondering if her bragging the other day about ‘signing the biggest contract – so far – of my life’ was re: her Windy City Live appearances.

    • Use the same password across multiple sites, and make it extremely simple? Recipe for disaster. Here’s hoping JAB ends up fielding hate mail from some viewer whose parents’ savings got wiped out because Pops was using “keepout” as his password on both Gawker Media and Citibank.

    • First video in a long I couldn’t make it all the way through. She is just so grating and hard to watch. That fucking mouth. Those fucking mannerisms. It’s just never going to end is it, this womanchild’s constant attempts to fit her round self in a square hole.

      • She has HORRIBLE screen presence. I would kill to see that failed Bravo pilot. It’s amazing people like Danielle Staub and Spencer Pratt were actually able to get on reality TV when Julia couldn’t. You have to pretty damn awful to be too unlikable and useless for reality TV.

        And what is with her whole “you MUST CONVINCE your grandparents they need a computer!” Maybe not everybody does need or want a computer, bitch. Convincing people to buy shit they truly don’t need helped put us into this shit economy.

        And does she really think older adults are stupid or incapable of learning? I remember when VCRs first came out and my grandma was the first one in the family to get one and she figured out how to set the timers and everything so that she could tape her stories. My grandmother certainly wasn’t stupid and she was not going to miss Guiding Light.

    • “An empty inbox is only exciting for those of us with crazy bosses.”

      Um, since when does the Donkey have a boss?

    • Insulting. Unprepared. A Liar. Smug. Braying.

      That was wow, just wow.

      I just kant the Donkey.

  13. “Steve Jobs style”

    Sure, cupcake, because a non-contributing random nothing nobody blogger like you and one of the greatest technological revolutionaries of our time should really be considered in the same breath.

    Fuck you, Julia.

  14. She posted this video on her blog. She is psychotic to listen to. I don’t know how those party-goers humor her. I’d be like bitch get out of my face and stfu. Her voice, it may be worse than her face these days.

    http://vimeo.com/26361505

    • They all have annoying voices. Christ, Julia has seriously done a number on her face.

      • errghhhh the NPD! the NPD!

        She literally sounds exactly like my mother (who is of a similar disposition). The orchestrating! The attention-getting scream! The directions! Favorite (worst) part: “No no nonononono OH HAAAPYY BIRTHDAYY TOO YOUUUU” after someone tired of her bullshit and just started singing

        • … the guy carrying the cake, when she was clomping after him & braying at the top of her lungs, did anyone else catch the “Bitch, please!” look he tossed over his shoulder?

          BTW, that kitchen Was that a WALL of refrigerators? Nice-ass house, too bad about the floors ruined by hooves.

    • Dear fuck, the white girl dancing is making my skin crawl. And psychotic is right…. the way she keeps repeating herself at the end is insane.

      • Is she the only white girl in America who doesn’t know the chorus to ‘In da Club’? Why does she even pretend to sing along if she clearly doesn’t know the words?

        The Canklehausen is killing me in this one.

      • Oh god, the vague “gang sings,” the stiff, waving arms, the closed eyes mouthing the wrong words. GAAAHHH

    • What? The fuck is THAT?
      [img]http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=9fz414&s=7[/img]

    • Jesus FUCK. She is so loud, obnoxious and bossy. Is that her screaming at the top of her lungs when the cake is dropped? GOOD LORD. MY EARS. No wonder Chaz got tinnitus. And I love how she’s trying to boss everyone around, but she doesn’t even know these people. What a fucking ass.

      Also? She looks like someone’s mom.

      It’s all SO Cankleshausen-inducing.

      • Two out of two Garys agree — sweet fucking Christ, that’s one horrible video. Why post something that makes you look like such a toolshed?

        • Haaahaaa. I know lots of moms who are waaaay hotter than this mess. Donks is more of a Norma Desmond type. Sad, sad, sad.

        • What’s interesting is that the host, Taryn, seemed irritated with her and didn’t want to be filmed on camera – telling.

      • As she continues to post these pictures and videos documenting her tone-deaf interactions with other people, I become even more convinced that she just has no idea how to socialize with other people, nor can she recognize the difference between when she receives a negative reaction or a positive, supportive reaction. It’s ridiculous. You’d think, since she reads here, she’d be able to see us call her out on it, but she must just think, “They weren’t there! They can’t see my super special connection to Taryn and all her friends!” I think the fact that she posts examples of her awful relationships with other people just shows that not only does she have no interpersonal skills, but something has to be off in her head, socially. It’s also possible that this is just the closest she can get to proving she has friends, and she figures anything is better than nothing. UGH.

        She is like the mom trying to video tape the teenager’s party and receiving exasperated looks.

        • I used icerocket to peek at who else used @TarynSouthern during the time period of the birthday. Julia accounted for, by my loose estimate, more than 2/3+ of the @’s. She is also the only person who posted pictures. It was such a YOOOOOHOOOOOO I IS FRIENDS WITH TINY AND CUTE FAMIS PEOPLE!

          So sad.

      • Why is she YELLING ‘Happy Birthday’? She’s blowing her mic out on the camcorder and making a giant a** of herself. So, so, so tragic.

    • good lord, she is hoping this will go viral in a “Birthday Cake Fail” way. Not gonna happen, Donks. Not gonna happen.

      • And why are there two cakes? like what the fuck. plus forcing everyone to sing twice? i.just.kant.

        • I think there are two cakes because it wasn’t exclusively Taryn’s party. On another cake, there were two other names on it, in addition to hers.

    • don’t even have to ask, the cleaning lady had to deal with the cake mess the next day.

      That looks like a terrible party….vaguely bored people standing around

      • Every person in this video seems insanely obnoxious. Almost makes Julia look normal.

        • Yes, I really loathed them all. Looked like a real ratfuck of a party, plus Donkey screaming. My idea of hell.

      • seriously

        her voice never irritated much before but wow – paging charles forman….

        I just get the feeling that those people roll their eyes at her behind their backs, mean girl style

        • “Oh my god, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it?”

          I have a feeling Ol’ Jujube hears some variation of this quite often.

    • I love how at the beginning of the video Julia brays “Taryn, I love how it [the cake] has your name on it!” and bitchily points to the plain white cake that is meant to feed the guests, while there is another cake with the names of three people, including Taryn, right next to it. Another hilarious “joke”, I literally LOL’d for zero seconds! Can you believe it?!

      In reality all I thought of was Julia’s joint birthday with Randi, where there was just one cake and it only had Randi’s name on it.

    • I watched most of this with my jaw dropped. I know JA is an asshole, but I can’t believe she’d actually post something this bad. It’s like this was a parody video made by rebloggingdonk.

      “Taryn, should you be lighting your own birthday candles?” Um, no. She shouldn’t. Maybe YOU could help have helped out, Julia, instead of braying around trying to prove you have friends?

      Also, was anyone else extremely annoyed by those girls who thought they were posing for pictures so naturally made disgusting kissy faces? Like, every single one of them. WTF. Gross. You’re 30. That wasn’t even acceptable at 16.

    • I just had to delurk when I saw that article when checking back in our most infamous psychotic

      hope you all are doing well!

      • I thought you are in the SF bay area? Sad we didn’t see you at the meetup we had 🙁 Consider the next one? No firm date yet but it will likely be a house-warming party for one of our own in a month. Lotsa beer, franzia, and Johnny Walker Black and being poor is no excuse, I’ll subsidize your train fare if you are in the city. Join chat now and then for details if you are interested.

        No, we don’t talk about Julia.

        • oh Kracken, what fun would that be? I imagine you in my minds to all be tiny, cute, female, pretty pretty pink princesses. Why ruin the fantasy?

          • Ok you win. Maybe we should have a theme party where each person comes as a NS contributor. I call TJ! I’m not gay but I do enjoy stuffing pipes in my mouth now and then.

          • hmm, it’s a toss-up between artax and brant for me. though i do have a soft spot for meghannaise – always will. i can’t quit you, pointy money shot!

          • I call preggo Jordan!

            Jane needs to be Julia. I will even bring her a crown.

          • wow, since i’m brown (hair) i guess that makes me JULIA ALLISON BAUGHER goddammit

            #mylifesux

          • @Tremendous Liar: only if you’re tiny and cute! (of course you can!)

          • I actually really love this idea. We have to take a million photos and lifecast them, too.

            We need to start a list of ‘must haves’:
            White girl gang signs. Cheeto cupcakes. Gluten Free frozen veggie medley. A tiara. Chicken broth. Shot glasses marked with ‘sips’ on the side. Nameplate necklaces. Lady sausage fingers.

          • @Tremendous Liar: You do realize you’ll have to poop on a carpet at some point?

            There can be more than one Julia since she has had so many looks faces in her life.

          • @KS: so many faces to choose from! and i didn’t think it was possible, but the donk gods smiled on me and i found THIS (donk + donatella versace). almost like a ‘before’ or (‘during’!) and ‘after’.

            [img]http://guestofaguest.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/nb8yiomlinc0lembltiq5p6fo1_400.jpg[/img]

          • Professor, I have never seen that photo, and I’ve following this fool since 2005! It is such a very excellent gift you’ve given us!

          • @Prof. F Camping, Doctor of Donkology

            I will see your Donk WH Correspondents’ Dinner photo, and raise you one Donk WH Correspondents’ Dinner C-SPAN screengrab:

            [img]http://i55.tinypic.com/244cg2s.jpg[/img]

          • @Dr. Gary

            Notice how everyone in the photo is looking to the right, paying attention to the program.

            Notice how Julia is mugging directly into the C-SPAN camera, hoping that she’ll appear on the teevees.

    • Better a catfucker than a donkey diddler. Amirite, Jack?

        • Dyspeptic, Stalker —
          we will always have Facebook’s sister!
          and maps!
          and colors brite!
          and assrams!
          and pancakes with a side of pancakes!
          NEVAH FORGET

    • My sister from another mister! aka the peanut butter to my jelly, the pin to my donkey, the blue print to my cleanse.

      Ho-mance back on.

          • You bitches (and Garys) are too much; that last one really took the pancake.

            I would love to have a JA themed party, but sadly only my boyfriend and one of my besties love the cray like I do. I know! We could reenact the yoga on the beach! The bf and I can pretend that we’re totally not boning (despite him sporting an awk gym shorts boner) whilst my tiny and cute biffle 4 lyfe adjusts me and plays amateur photographer. And then I totally won’t pay her. Because we’re friends.

  15. i have yet to get through all the comments, but i must say: the birthday video!!!!!! my cankleshausen, it’s itching me something awful. shall i ever recover from witnessing those heinous dance moves coupled with rapping? the braying? the desperation at being ignored, oozing from donkey? THE SINGING?! i think i can smell pelts burning.

    • She’s like a child.
      Taryn! Taryn! Taryn! Taryn! Taryn! Say hi! Taryn! Taryn!

      • I just rewatched it, because I am a masochist, and I realized that when she keeps saying, “Taryn, say hi!” Taryn says repeatedly: “Don’t film me,” while refusing to look up.

        Wow.

        • I lied. Someone else says, “We’re filming” I think. Taryn DOES say, “No.” in a very curt fashion, though, when JA keeps bugging her to say hi.

        • I would hate being filmed at a party. But it’s hard to feel sad for Taryn, she has to know who Julia Allison is by now, I mean, come on. It’ll be interesting to see if Taryn’s couch becomes a little less available from now on.

        • Yeah, I respected her a little bit during that video, then I remembered she’s provided a stall for the Donkey multiple times.

          Do not enable the donkey, people!

          • I know I’m like the perpetual JA-friend apologist, but, like I said, this comes from dealing with people with NPD (former bff, and douche-ex).

            People like that just come right out and ask you to put them up, or do them favors, which puts you in an awkward situation because you feel guilty if you say no.

            Compound that with the fact that most of these people are probably, for the most part, indifferent to her. As in consider her a harmless, albeit annoying, ‘friend’ who they — thankfully — don’t have to deal with often.

            I seriously doubt these people are begging her to come stay with them, or even offering. She just puts them in a position where they feel like they have to say yes. See, for example, her ‘hop on a plane and join you’ [in the Hampton’s] thing she pulled on Taryn a few weeks ago over twitter. The fact that she didn’t is probably because she couldn’t actually find someone to crash with, for once.

            I really do have to give some of these lesser characters a pass, because narcissists are just really good at getting things out of people, based on their sheer audacity and willing to flatter mercilessly to get what they want.

      • Replace it with “Daddy daddy daddy, pay attention to me,” and I think you have the root of most of her problems.

    • I like how everyone in the video momentarily poses because they think she’s just taking a picture, but OH NO, Donkey must make a video of this event! And the part where Taryn completely ignores her is awesome.

      LOOK AT MAH CHIN!
      [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/102rqq0.png[/img]

      • Whoa! Nowwww I believe the cheek implant theory… From that angle, it’s like a crevasse between her nose & cheek.

      • Her face looks so mangled in this video. Like, really, really mangled.

      • Yeah, I can’t say that these strapless-sundress tools don’t deserve to be at the same party with Donkus Freshwaterii. Every time one of them sees the camera pointed in her direction she inverts her lips to make the universal mating display. Duckface! Duckface cheek-to-cheek with girlfrand! Duckface with pinky finger against chin! Between the braying and the quacking it’s like they’re going to have to feed an entire barnyard with a single cake.

    • How fuck! How does she not see how out of place and annoying she is? I love how Taryn totally ignores her in the beginning when Julia is trying to get her to turn around and mug for the camera. And I’m positive Taryn’s friend that grabbed the camera and turned it on Julia did it bc she knew Julia would make an ass of herself (and probably can’t stand her).

      Also, she is tone deaf LITERALLY.

      • The girl who makes the face says, “Bitch, I met you earlier!” and also mugs Julia or something else that I didn’t catch. She does all this ‘jokingly’ but it seems like an awful lot of fake-hate.

        • Yeah, I picked that up too. She seems to be talking Taryn down, who looks a little pissed off about something. Also, I love how she calls her bitch and then rubs up on Teddy like she’s marking her territory.

      • I love when she says to the girl, “So, where are we?” She did the same thing to Redacted years ago in the video she took at some cool kids Xmas party. Only she infantilized him more, if that is possible…”So, baby, where are we? What day is it?” Keep in mind she was wearing her famous slutty Santa costume at a cool tech kids hipster holiday party. No wonder he dumped her ass hard about a day later.

  16. I don’t know what is making my Canklehausen flare up the most after watching that video, but contributing factors:

    1) The fucking pearls. This is not afternoon tea, and I’m guessing that the other girls in this video are all a few years younger than Donk to begin with–(and if not, um, wow). Way to age yourself another 10. This is a house party in L.A. for fuck’s sake, invest in a few cute statement necklaces–shit, buy them at Forever 21, for all I care, but LOSE THE GODDAMN PEARLS!

    2) Taryn obviously has no interest in addressing you and has more important matters to attend to, so SIT THE FUCK DOWN and SHUT UP.

    3) Any hosebeast who just sits there with the camera still trained on the poor, visibly mortified girl who dropped a cake while inauthentically clucking “oh noooo” instead of helping to clean it up (and I mean, what the fuck, weren’t there lit candles all over it? Does nobody care? Are they all that drank?) is a total thundercunt. Totally agree that she was just after a hilareballz candid video moment that unsurprisinlgy comes off as ass-waddy and tonedeaf.

    4) HEEE HAWWW HEE HAWWWW HEE HAWWWWW!

    Okay, Mama needs to go lie down now and take her happy pills with some apple juice. Exhale.

    • Looks like maybe the girl making the face probably turned around and bumped into Cake Girl which caused the cake to shift and fall. Instead of zooming in on the inverted cake on the floor and repeating ohmygodohmygodohmygod maybe put the damn camera down, say a few words of reassurance and help clean up the mess? No. Continue with video, turn back on Cake Drop Girl and walk away. Good times. Good friends.

      • Right, her first cue should have been to notice how upset the girl was before panning to her and making her feel 10 times worse about the situation. I wish the cake had fallen on Julia, or better yet, the chocolate one. On a white dress, that knowing Donks, she is probably planning on returning after this one wear? Now THAT would have made for a great party.

      • I think it was also that Cake Girl’s hat fell onto the cake and seemed to be on fire, she freaked. Must admit it was funny to watch.

        But yeah, Donks really rubbed it in like, laughing and pointing. Horrible.

        • That hipster hat should have tipped Julia off to the fact that her melty face and her mid-life crisis dress were both out of place.

  17. Julia’s Shannon Elizabeth b-day dinner video flared up my Canklehausen more. Somehow I could not forget that.

    • [img][img]http://chicago.metromix.com/content_image/full/653357/560/370[/img][/img]

        • You are brilliant. You know what this 100% reminds me of? Julia taking (basically) to the stage at Jack’s “winging” ceremony.

  18. AAAAAAHHHHHHH the birthday video! My ears are RINGING, she has the worst man voice i have ever heard, so offkey, so loud, so HEEEHAWWW….i cringe.

    And the dance moves, oh the dance moves. May i just bray, that any girl who dances that poorly is, definitively, a dead fish in bed.

    fail fail fail fail fail

  19. I’m too lazy to look and see if someone already noted this, buuuuuuut… What caught my eye about the LadyForbes blog interview was that it used a picture of Fat Ginger Julia. How, wondered I, would Julia have ok’d this? She looked like Ronald McDonald after being stung by a swarm of bees.

    Well, the image accompanying the interview is now of Thin Brunette Julia. OF COURSE she’d ask that the image be changed. And not to a more RECENT one, mind you, but to a more flattering one taken way before her Fat Ginger days.

  20. she’s so bizarre. at the very beginning of the clip where the host announces her name, she does this weird head bob and looks around the room as if… what? as if she’s expecting applause? ugh she’s really making me sick lately. how is it possible to be THIS full of yourself? i mean, she truly ADORES herself. she actually does some form of this every single time she’s introduced. like she’s just so excited to hear her name and can’t get enough of herself.

    blech.

    • Does the windy shitty show even have an audience? as far as I could surmise, Julia was just blathering on about her grandmother who came from a social position not to know how to type and how we need to make computers as simplistic as possible for the grandparents she never sees or spends time with (and one is is hospice but it’s okay because she hugged her mom and whatever goodbye she experienced was sufficient a coulee of weeks ago when she was in LA and just back again, bich please…). Also she made a hoo haw about her struggle to get her folks on Facebook and thats probably the last thing any sane kid would want). Oh, and she went on about setting up an email account and how old people will get confused by an empty void and meanwhile Julia is burdened by messages “like herself, ” the imagnarily employed tech dynamo, from her “bosses” even though she does dick all for work and farts out her sad ass “columns” and has made her second bobby pinned mullet appearance on a filler post Oprah local show which will probaly be terminated once Ellen or Katie Couric or Anderson Cooper moves into the time slot come fall. Vie seen better content on Better TV – hello, Jordan, you still doing that- and Chris and Steve (ch 11.2 in Baltimore for the cable less). Yeah were really into your folks, Julia, tell us more, and you spaced on one of your bullet points on the sidebar. She is really offensive how she infatalizes the elderly community.

      • Her segments are pretty obviously just cross-promotion between 2 different Tribune orgs–TMS and WGN.

        That WCL show is cheap filler… nothing more, nothing less. And even by those standards, Foolia is laughably bad.

        • Windy City LIVE is a WLS show, not a WGN show. WLS is an ABC owned/operated station.

          Agree that WCL is a crap show, but it’s not a Tribune production. The reason they have A Donkey on is because a) their “all-local talent” mission, and b) she works cheap.

      • What about the part where the host was trying to tell a legit story about his dad not knowing you could check email from any computer. And she’s like “I love that!” Just struck me as so rude.

    • It’s called narcissistic personality disorder.

      The old Baugher site used to talk about how she got E-mails from doctors and clinicians marveling at what a textbook case Jule is.

    • I’ll echo my question from up the thread:

      The Observer is writing about Julia… why?

    • that dumb article just made me notice how they changed the Forbes photo from Ronald Mcdonald to Julia Allison Baugher of 10 years ago.

    • It seems like the author is making fun of her… I mean, I see no other point in the article… am I wrong?

      • I agree with you completely. These two articles are both very short and superficial in nature; there is no digging or truth seeking to be found, and they aren’t even particularly flattering. The second article is composed almost entirely of quotations (which are unbelievably easy to tell apart) and has zero point, as was the case with the first article, in which the author put forth the query of “Who is Julia Allison?” and then didn’t even attempt to answer it. I’m going to chalk it up to the fact that their writing is perhaps as terrible as Julia’s and remind myself to never waste time reading their work again.

        Also, the most annoying thing about article #2? Despite mentioning himself in the first one, the focus of George Gurley’s quotations is always on the outer world – this man’s fiance, these people’s answers to intriguing questions, et cetera. I didn’t know who George Gurley was before today, and yet he seems to be an interesting figure based on his interactions. Julia, however, would appear to be a complete twat, even to the casual observer. When every single quotation belonging to a “journalist” is about themselves, you begin to wonder about their professionalism and sanity. Calling Julia a journalist – or hell, even a columnist – is like calling Paris Hilton an Emmy winning actress. Just because you’ve been in print (or on film, in Ms. Hilton’s case) does not make you some kind of “expert” on anything.

        Rant over; I will never the donkey.

  21. Did she cause the cake the fall? DID SHE CAUSE THAT CAKE TO FALL?! Omg, what a BITCH.

    This moron was in the way, she was annoying the birthday girl, and then she encourages some drunk girl to RUIN EVERYTHING because nobody else would play along with her stupid donkey games. THEN she runs off after the one cake that’s okay, screaming an off-key “Happy Birthday” like she’s responsible for the cake and party?! What a bitch. I do not see why or how anyone excuses her behavior. It’s getting a million times worse each year.

    • Why did Taryn even invite her? She seems to be straight up ignoring Julia in the video. Are they friends?

      • Right? I think Julie is super pushy and forces herself on people. Taryn really doesn’t seem to like her very much in this video. Why would you post this? Is proximity to F-List fame really
        > embarrassing yourself? I guess in Julie’s case, the answer is always ‘yes’.

        • Also: Am I the only one who got a lesbo vibe from the way Julia’s camera lingered rather lovingly on that one obnoxious blonde girl humping Taryn?

          • eh, it just seemed like Julia’s usual predictable focus on the cheaply sexual/titillating-if-you’re-17 kind of thing.

            Then again, I’m not on board with this whole Julia- is-gay thing.

            I’d give you “predominantly asexual” though.

          • I think Donk is Donksexual and gets off most on believing that she is irresistible and driving the men wild.

          • Albie, I’ll agree, but I think the part your description is missing is “and then he’ll propose and they’ll have a pink wedding and be married in a community property state with no pre-nup”.

          • I’m down with Un-Effable and AQ – I do not get the lesbian vibe from her at all. I think her obsession with women comes from jealousy and I also just get a disinterested in sex vibe from her. She wants to be sexy and look like she likes sex because she thinks that’s what men want in a woman. As we all learned from Cher Horowitz, show some skin, because then guys will think of you naked and then they’ll think of sex!

        • And then she posted the entire too-long thing with a bitchy caption pointing to the cake falling. I’m imagining she got blamed for the cake and this is her proof she’s such a great friend.

    • Is it possible she’s partially responsible for the party? That other girl did say “Your host for the evening” while filming Julia.

      • Donkey doesn’t pay for her own birthdays (she accepts $ at her parties under the guise of charity though), so no way she is a ‘host’ in this case, & besides, she’d have brayed long & loud if she’d had her hooves in this. Besides, no pink in da house.

        Maybe you mis-heard “Your ho for the evening”?

  22. she’s wearing what she hopes people think is an engagement ring in the WCL segment. douchelady.

  23. I’m sorry, did Julia say in the Farty City segment that we’d need to teach our grandparents how to type and that her grandmother can’t type at all?

    Because, what? Using a typewriter is totally different to using a computer keyboard?

    Julia, this isn’t improv, you’re supposed to actually prepare for these segments not say the first piece of complete and UTTER BULLSHIT that pops into your head.

    Ijit.

      • Exactly – so there’s no need to teach grandparents how to type. They’ve been typing perfectly well for decades.

        It’s the same damn Qwerty keyboard that was created in the late 1800s.

        So Donkey. So Dumb.

        • I own my mother’s first typewriter, a Royal that was made in 1932. I learned to type on it, then took a typing class at 13 in which I trained on a gigantic news-desk Underwood. The keys were connected to arms longer than the clutch of an old farm truck. I developed hands of steel because of it. By the time we got IBM Selectrics (heaven! miss them!) I was up to 70 words a minute, and when I got my first PC in the late 1980’s I went up to 82 wpm — that’s the difference in ease between a typewriter and a rudimentary computer keyboard. I’m the same age as Albie and a few others here, but my mother is 80 and is a great-grandmother many times over, and SHE TYPES FASTER THAN I DO. She owned the first home computer I ever saw, and understood programming well enough do it on her own. She has upgraded every year since the Commodore 64, and she works at a horse-shoe shaped gigantic desk on which there are two entirely separate desktops, and three printers. She has two laptops and an iPad.

          Again I will say: my mother is eighty years old. Julia Allison isn’t fit to talk to her about the fucking weather. Mom learned everything she did because she had to work for a living, and I think it’s super sweet that JA’s brutal white privilege and narcissistic sense of entitlement prevent her from understanding that Nutty Granny Moneybags never had any reason to learn to type. She never had any reason to learn ANYTHING beyond making conservative fashion purchases and how to procure a grotesque amount of plastic surgery. So yeah, get Grans an iPhone and teach her to text, you worthless bag of ho. All the world exists to entertain you, after all, and sometimes it’s fun to learn things because you’ll never, ever need to actually know them.

    • Is her gramma so fancy that she didn’t ever have to learn to type? My grandma, who would be older than nutty moneypants if she were alive today, was an expert typist who WORKED at the post office after her children had left the house. Something tells me Nutty never had to stoop to such levels–and thus never had to learn to type, I guess.

      • my gramma raised my mother and my uncle on what she earned as a secretary — leaving her 3 room apt every morning in hat and gloves and heels and hose

        secretaries in those days typed and took shorthand

    • My 80-year-old grandma has and avidly uses an iPad. Not all olds are technologically incompetent.

      • Seriously! I wrote this above, but my grandma was the first one to get a VCR back in the day and learned how to set the timer and everything so she wouldn’t miss her stories when she was out during the day.

        My parents are 62 now and my aunt is 69 and they all use computers and have Kindles and cell phones and Skype. Does she think everybody over the age of 35 still uses carrier pigeons and etches out things in stone?

        • stories

          i first heard people call soaps that in the hood in chicago when i was in school in hyde park

    • Gene Amdahl is 88. ken and dmr, the designers of Unix, are about 70, as is Don Knuth. Jef Raskin, the guy who started the Macintosh project at Apple, would be about that age if he were still alive.

      The average age for first becoming a grandparent is 47 in the US according to AARP.

      • Oh hellllllllllllsss no!!!! No way would I be letting anyone call me granny at 47. Then again, I’m one of those female type cats who just started HAVING kittens around the age some people in really olden-days times were becoming grandparents. 🙂

        • People will hate me for saying this, but I had the same reaction and I think it’s kind of nuts to become a grandparent in your 40s. What’s the huge rush to have kittens? Assuming that is the average age… I’d say its more of a bad thing than a good thing. The average American also believes Saddam had something to do with 9-11 and a whole bunch of other crazy crap.

          Average is probably a backhanded compliment once you consider what the average person is like.

          • Did your kitty teach you to use a computer by posting on RBNS/RBD? Do you sometimes forget where the on switch is?

    • I responded before I saw this thread… I have a rant above. To this I’ll add I find it especially vulgar of julia to stage this cause de celebre of teaching old folk computers, while her grandfather is dying, and her family seemingly is rounding up support, in fucking LA, where she has been twice during the circumstances and she has prematurely validated the passing with a shrug and hug and a tweet. In the interim she is celebrating and attempting make viral her obnoxious video of a dropped birthday cake at her d list sycophant party. My prediction is that she will be dropped soon by TMS in a more subtle, succinct and less fabulous fashion.

  24. personally I love how OMG Randi BFF Zuckerberg seems to be all growed up with her new Facebook’s baby and all (heir to the throne), while Julia’s still acting like she’s 12 attending My Pony Birthday Parties

  25. Things not mentioned yet that I feel need mentioning*:

    1) In the birthday video, how does she not feel embarrassed that people there are singing happy birthday to all three birthday folk, except JA, who brays Taryn only the first time, then corrects herself the second time only after everyone else sings the names of all three, and even then she appears to not really know their names.

    2) In the Cup-o-the-Morning with Chip and Candi segment, she calls out that none of Grandma Nuttymoneygrab’s own grandchildren have bothered to teach her how to use a computer. Um, grandchildren, including Julia, who is on the show braying about her expertise in this issue. Does she not see how dumb, not to mention selfish, this makes her look?

    *If it was mentioned, I apologize for not seeing the post. It must have been too tiny and cute for me to spy!

    Also, bonus bitch, in her most recent column she spells the possessive of lass as lass’, when it should be lass’s. Jesus fuck, woman, get the to a grammar course.

  26. Also, because I am terribly bored and don’t start the moving process until tomorrow, this was taken from her recent blog, re: some people I don’t know getting married:
    “2) Um … not sure exactly what the videographer was thinking when he filmed Candice getting airbrushed. “And here’s how we gave her that perfectly natural … oh, hell, this is Texas, get me the FOUNDATION POWER TOOLS!””

    Pot, let me introduce you to a kettle; you two should have a lot to talk about.

      • Actually, bitchface, I bought a house! I get the keys tomorrow. Hence why we need to have a housewarming NS themed catladee meet up party once I get settled in.

        And thanks, So. Blessed. Come to Cali and be part of the theme party!

        (Okay, who are we kidding? I’m renting a basement. From my mom. It is tiny and cute, though!)

        • WP is eating my comments

          I think I said ‘con-cat-ulations!’ I’d offere to help you move but sorta down in the dumps that our house got appraised for 1/3 what we paid for it several few years ago so i am going to go sit in my corner and be the jellis Type A h8tr that i am

          • dude, I feel you. My brother is in the same boat, and therefore stuck in his house in an area that makes him miserable, when he would really love to sell and move closer to me. Unfortunately, it appraised for lower than what he owes on it, I think. I feel bad, because it is a total McMansion in a sleepy suburb of the
            armpit of California.

            You don’t have to help me move, anyway. You best be planning to go to the housewarming party, though!

          • That completely sucks, I’m sorry. The housing market should be coming around in the next few years, so there’s hope. On the upside, your avatar brings great joy to everyone here who enjoys casually saying, “Hey…bitchface,” so con-cat-ulations on that.

        • Congrats cakes!!

          Is this the one you were talking about in chat a few months ago? That one you really loved? ‘Cause that was an awesome house.

    • I wonder if Donkey, founder entremanure, wrote her ‘Relax, it’s just a hobby!’ womanifesto after getting called out for poaching some happy couple’s wedding memories …

      “Enjoy watching this crazy wedding!”

      The creator of this video has not given you permission to embed it on this domain.

      • I wrote this down below, but I think she wrote it that it’s just a hobby because she got so many comments on that Forbes Woman article that she was not an entrepreneur but someone that has a Tumblr blog – which she mostly puts wedding photos on…

  27. I am set to have bad dreams tonight, soundtrack courtesy of a Birthday Bray and studded with Greasy’s Pieces. What the WHAT.

  28. Hang on. She has just spent the day with her mother – whose father is unwell – then she posts this.

    [img]http://oi54.tinypic.com/3008qpx.jpg[/img]

    If it’s her maternal grandfather, surely her mother would have said something during the day or phoned or texted her the news at the very least.

    What the hell?

    • Count down to the funeral edition of Social Stupid, to complete the three weddings and a funeral element of her narcissist nattering via PMS.

      “Dear, dear Julia,
      I recently found out that my darling grandfather passed away. I found out over facebook, and since I am too busy with my many cross-cuntery travels to make it to the funeral, what are your suggestions for harnessing social media to enable me to show my support in proper long distance spirit? Should I skype my attendance at the funeral, so everyone knows I am weeping and wearing a demure black mini-skirt and cape? Can I use Google docs to get an itemized list of his possessions, and my allotment in the will? Is it acceptable to post e-flowers using a facebook app? How long is too long to use twitter to garner sympathy? I’m completely at a loss as to how to give the appearance of giving a shit without actually attending the wedding — I mean funeral. Please advise!

      — @MourningGlory”

      • very, very nice, mcakes. If I were Juliar I would cut and paste this right into the top of my next column.

    • That says a lot about how her family feels about her. She’s made it pretty clear in her blergh that everything else in her life took precedence over being there for her grandfather’s final days.

    • I’m so sorry for Momsers. My condolences to her and the other family members he leaves behind.

      But Julie? You disgust me.

      You just spent the weekend in LA. You could have been by his bedside, comforting him in his final moments. But you didn’t. Instead? You partied and sucked up to your Hollywood friends, did yoga on the beach and bragged about it online. Hiked Runyon Canyon.

      You mentioned having dinner with your brother and sister-in-law in LA. I’m guessing they knew the time was close, and flew out to be with your grandfather? You should have been there, too.

      You can complain all you want that we ‘don’t know anything about you or your family’. And you’re right. We don’t know the whole story. But we do know bits and pieces, because you’ve shared it with us. Bottom line: he was your grandfather and the right thing to do was spending time with him before he passed. Regardless of how close you two were, or how coherent he was at the time.

      And now you’re posting old photos and telling stories about Grandpa on Facebook. Oh, big shocker. You’re doing the same thing on your *hobby* blergh. Clearly, a cheap, shameless ploy for attention.

      Shame on you, Julie. Shame on you.

      • Thank you, Dr. Gary. Paging Fameless Shamewhore.

        It doesn’t matter how close they were (since he didn’t know it was *her* anymore I suppose he lost value) the family knew he was passing and seem to have been rallying this weekend.

        Exploiting someone’s passing for simpering FB comments (and god forbid, “Likes”) is inexcusable.

        • I hope Grandpa said his ‘final goodbye’ to Julie by leaving her a big fat NOTHING in his will.

          • Knowing her luck that won’t happen. She’ll be rewarded for being a Compleat narcissist and waste of space.

          • Just in time for LA Condo! She will thank or berate AstrologyZone, depending.

        • You rang???

          I have a HUGE heart-on for both Dr. Gary and Gorgeous after these comments. Spot-fucking-on.

        • this is why i NEVER put any kind of bad news on my facebook status. even bad news that is not really a big deal. what is the point? you just look like a total narcissist tool, hoping to grab attention. that shit should be off-line and private. call me an olds if you must (almost 10 years past expiration…i just learned to type and turn on my computer)

      • Apparently they were not close for a reason. From her blerg:

        “My grandfather – for reasons not entirely clear to me, since he was a lawyer turned businessman – had a huge, tricked out Woodshop in the back of the complex. ”

        Clearly her grandfather was a man of more than one dimension. She couldn’t understand or respect that a man could be more than what he does for a living and how much money he makes.

        Shallow Donkey.

        • How odd for someone to have a hobby that doesn’t include taking pictures of oneself. I don’t get it. I’m over it. What does this have to do with me?

        • “the complex.”. A house, a garage, and a shed perhaps? Was her grandfather Dr. Venture or something?

        • Donkey doesn’t understand that many men love working *with* tools; she’s only familiar w/ men who *fuck* tools.

          p.s.
          YOU are a tool, Donkey!

    • And as always, the focus of this sentence isn’t on her grandfather’s death, it’s on how that event relates back to and affects her.

    • Maybe it happened after she went back to the condo and one of the aunts/uncles/cousins had Facebooked it before Momsers had a chance to call?

      The ironing here is that JBallz is all about Tweeting and Facebooking other important life occasions, so why is she so put out by this?

      I do feel sympathy for Robin B. (and some envy for having had her dad with her ten years longer than I did, but I know that doesn’t make it easier).

  29. late night post from her blaugh:

    … looking for photos of fashion, weddings, Kate Middleton, gorgeous dresses, pretty interior design, quotes, links to articles I read, photos of me with my friends and family, the occasional reflective post – and did I mention Kate Middleton? – this is the place.

    If you are not, it isn’t.

    My blog has transitioned over the past few years – from writing, to lifecasting to … well, this. Whatever this is! It’s a scrapbook, mostly visual, that I find entertaining to keep.
    It’s really just for fun, because I like to share. Sometimes I share my work (my columns, my tv appearances, my consulting or other projects), sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I talk about my life, sometimes I won’t.

    I feel like I’m writing a (bad) song right now.

    But the point is, it’s not meant to be more than what it is. It is a HOBBY.
    If you also find it entertaining, great. If you don’t, also fine.

    I appreciate you reading. But I would keep this going even if no one read at all … I have a bulletin board in my office covered with photos and magazine clippings and quotes. You can’t see it, but I still add to it and like it just as much as my online bulletin board. 🙂
    I just don’t want anyone to be confused as to the purpose of this site, because it HAS gone through so many iterations (first as a showcase for my work, then as a business, etc).

    I guess it’s a blog, but it doesn’t really feel like one. I don’t think of it as a “blog.” And, yes, it says “lifecast,” but that’s not really accurate any longer. It should probably just be titled “Things I Saw/Did/Thought.” Or maybe just “Random Stuff, by Julia Allison.” That’s just about the only thing broad enough to tie it all together.

    Or maybe I’ll just call it “PS.” That would be nice … probably more accurate, too.

    What would you call this … collection?

    +++++++++++++++
    I would call it a pile of shit, personally. But it’s actually quite richer than that poor description. Someone could write a whole blog about this “blog” of hers. Oh …..

      • This. One cannot have it both ways. Is this a viable business worth “fuck you money,” or is a hobby? And even if it is only the latter, it doesn’t automatically create a safety shield around Julia, barring her and what she does from any criticism or dissenting viewpoint. I highly suspect that’s what she’s trying to do – backtack so as to protect herself from “bullying” on the part of people who do not feel free to relax and read The New York Times instead of reading and commenting on a product she produces and promotes.

    • Where the fuck is this “office” where her bulletin board is at? What a loon.

      • Legalese… home office. Meaning, the desk at her parents’ condo.

      • Julia didn’t have a bulletin board at her well-documented pink palace. Her “desk” was that Saarinen table knockoff (didn’t she coerce someone’s mother into gifting it to her?) She lies even when she doesn’t need to.

    • I wonder if this is in reaction to all the criticism she got from commenters on that article yesterday telling the author not to call her an entrepreneur b/c she runs a Tumblr blog.

      Also, why not take down that it is a lifecast???

      • The ultimate self explaining/justification/validation post is one of the aspects of juvenile, self-important blogging I find especially tedious. Who gives a fuck? If it’s just her hobby then why get her panties in a twist over how people perceive it. Keep a private journal for chrissakes. For a self-proclaimed social media/netiquette expert her schtick is blogging pre-K.

      • Even if she wanted to, she doesn’t have the tech savvy to change any of the template details.

    • Who asks that question? “What would you call my shit-blog?” NO ONE CARES. Holy christ.

      I think I need a break. Can’t take her shit anymore.

      Also, consulting. I love when she throws that in there. No one is paying for your expertise, honey.

    • Or maybe just call it: “Horror Whore meets social media in ‘new concept’ horror film (random stuff about Julia Allison)

  30. I think posting to your Facebook fucking wall that your grandfather died-esp. with an easy-breezy tone is beyond reproach. What a horrid little vulture.

    • She held onto that one until she had updated her pile of shit with links to the New York piece and MORE FUCKING WEDDING content.

      • FRESH CONTENT! Social media maven! How to fit Gramps into personal branding? Hmm.

        He died and I found out through Facebook? What a novel idea. TMS team will love. So current! First I need to post pictures of fuchsia pants and furry chairs and my manifesto on the hobby blog and OMG weddings and oh-yeah-Gramps is in the queue.

        Gramps! and I was there when he was alive! I WAS THERE. There are pictures from the 80’s scanned to my hard drive!! I had to Vimeo Taryn Southern’s birthday bash and stretch it out with BFF forever Taylor so I couldn’t really be present, ashram style, especially as I had to do a Windy City segment.

        But this is social media 2.0 bunnies, let it unfold, feel free to relax, in our Web-Wired world death is less something personal than as a way to open dialogues as to what IT ALL MEANS. I know I’m crowd-sourcing but I love to share. Please @reply to SocialStudies or JuliaAllison.

        • Donkey’s selected photos:
          Picture of her with grandpa.
          Picture of her with grandpa.
          Picture of grandpa at wedding.

          ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.

          God. It makes me so fucking ragey.

          Speaking of grandpa and weddings, you know that she is whimpering somewhere, to someone, about how she is “so sad he didn’t live to see me get married!”

          Tool shed, someone said? Tool-fucking-PLANET.

          • Well helived to see her get engaged, get un-engaged, break up someone else’s marriage, try to stop another marriage, be the “other girl” to a famous guy’s little brother, and announce a serious sex crime commited against his daughter using social media… so I’m sure he had his fill of the Donkey’s escapades.

          • I wish I could be there to watch the way her head will explode someday when she gets married and all of the photos are MEMEME and WEDDINGWEDDINGWEDDING at the same time.

          • It took a few boxes of Franzia and a visit to Hogsmeade. Thanks solidarity cat!

    • According to the windy fuck city interview, she’d been pressuring her folks to join FB for a long time and now she has to upload their lousy photos formthem because they are are olds and my ass she found out about her grandfather passing on Facebook. What an unforced opportunistic cunt.

    • And then tweeting about laughing hysterically. What a tacky loon.

      “JuliaAllison Julia Allison
      Me: I just realized I spent the last 15 years crying over boys. Christine: You know what that makes you? A woman. Me: [hysterical laughter]
      8 hours ago”

      • Claims by Julia Allison to be ‘laughing hysterically’ may be more truthful than even she’s willing to admit — narcissist that she is, anything to which she can self-relate triggers an adrenaline rush for her, aka precursor to her manic highs.

        In the language of Donkeynese*, ‘Hysterically’ = ”Maniacally’

        *Not to be confused w/ Donkey Knees, which resemble bags of potatoes

      • I’m so sick of her stupid fucking conversation snippets that are not at all funny. It’s not hysterical you goddamn tool.

        • She is pasting every. single. one of these lame exchanges into a digital scrapbook that she will turn into her long-brayed rom-com screenplay about a dating columnist who can’t snag a man.

        • Uhm, JFA.. You might not want to read this. I’m genuinely concerned you might have a stroke.
          ————————————————
          Whenever I call up Grandpa, the conversation invariably goes like this:

          Me: Hi Grandpa! It’s Julia!
          Grandpa: Hi Julia!
          Me: How are you?
          Grandpa: I’m OLD!
          Me: [Laughs]
          Grandpa: I’m [fills in whatever age he happens to be]!!

          Every. Time.

          It’s hiii-larious.

        • From the old school, misogynistic, definition of hysteria : “Women considered to be suffering from it exhibited a wide array of symptoms including faintness, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and “a tendency to cause trouble””
          Except for the loss of appetite for food, Donkey might be more accurately self-diagnosing herself than she realizes.
          Like her knowledge of pop culture, her medical knowledge is decades behind the times.

    • When my DOG died, I didn’t post about it on any social media because I was too busy crying. And he wasn’t even a person (although he was the best).

      • I can’t imagine ever talking about someone’s death of FB. I’ve seen it done… each time, stunned. It’s so tacky beyond belief.

        • Face it, broadcasting death announcements electronically is becoming the norm, be it FB post, text blast, whatever. People who look at their cell ph the minute they wake up & check in w/ FB, Twitter et al the minute they get online are the same ones who don’t buy or read newspapers, much less peruse obituaries, & anymore, that’s basically everyone, amirite?

        • P.S. — I should add that I don’t like it, I’m just reconciled to the way things are evolving.

          First time I saw it, I was floored, then I realized that the poster was insulating herself against breaking down while having the same horrible conversation over & over …

          Really, really insensitive is the guy who texted numerous friends at once about a mutual friend’s death — I still want to kick ass over that one.

      • i posted about my dog; he had been declining slowly for a year and everyone who knew me knew him

        the thread went on for days … everyone shared … it was a big sitting shiva

        • I am so sorry about your dog. I really am. I love animals. Maybe I am more focused on how tacky it is for her because it seems so disingenuine (sp) and for attention only.

        • If your friends knew and loved him too, that makes sense. Not like Julia, who doesn’t even seem all that upset.

          • Exactly… again, My Dog Spot, sorry for making a huge generalization, she just makes me crazy… dragging out Grampa for sympathy makes me so mad.

    • Yeah! We’re all RBD commenters, and it’s not a tree fort with a password required 🙂 Few quick things:

      1) We have our very own Donkey bot that messages the room whenever she posts so you can get a your insta-snark on, avoid giving her pageviews, and try out your clever comments on a live audience before posting here. This alone has made it a lot more fun. Thanks The_Manta!

      2) Your IP address is partially scrambled to retain the anonymity you enjoy here. By partially I mean if your actual address was Dorm2Room224.OMGIVY.edu it is shown as mibbit-4353.OMGIVY.edu

      3) Be prepared to talk. It’s a chat room. Lurking is frowned upon because no one likes the idea of JA or a crony coming in and logging everything.

      4) We don’t talk about her 24/7. If you have OT questions you want to ask RBD people but not post on here, this is a good place.

      5) The http://tinyurl.com/RBNScats link is just a web interface to IRC, so if you know your shit, you’ll have a better experience with a real client. server = irc.mibbit.com channel = #rbns

  31. Didn’t have time to read the whole comment section… but has no one mentioned that these Windy City Live segments are just low-cost time filler for Tribune Media? TMS and WGN (the channel airing this shit-tastic show) are both owned by the bankrupt Tribune Group.

    It’s well known that WGN needed a cheap show to fill time in its line up and this WCL show is non-union and has a ridiculously low budget and pay scale. (They like to market the show as “all local”, which sounds a lot better than saying its dirt cheap and poor quality.) Only a fool like Julia would do segments like this, because she doesn’t pay rent or bills or have a family to support. WGN and Tribune are just more old media organizations that are giving a big “FU” to real journalists.

    /rant

      • They almost certainly pay AFTRA scale. Hundreds of dollars in fuck-you money, bunnies! HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS!

    • Yeah, thanks for your theory, which would make sense if Windy City LIVE was a WGN show. It is on WLS, the ABC owned-and-operated channel.

    • ‘It’s well known that WGN needed … [blahhblahhblahh] … ‘

      Why do you pontificate so? Are you afraid that your opinion(s) won’t be well received & therefore you must present them as indisputable fact? Prove me wrong; cite a (credible) source to back up your assertions.

    • This has been pointed out to you, as far as I can tell, at least a DOZEN times, but here it is again:

      Windy City Live is on WLS, which is an ABC station (channel 7 in Chicago).

      WGN (channel 9 in Chicago) is the station owned by the Tribune Co.

      I know that they probably don’t teach things like reading comprehension at the Upper Ivies, but this is a fairly simple fact to retain.

      I mention it also because when we get things so obviously wrong here, it adds to Julia’s claim that we’re all full of shit. And this is a really obvious false claim.

  32. NOW WAIT JUST A HOW FUCK MOMENT!

    She was BACK in LA, her grandfather HADN’T passed yet, and this vile, entitled wretch didn’t even SWING BACK BY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

    “Oh I said goodbye a few weeks ago. Whatevs. Off to hike Runyon and do yoga!” This is while she is in the SAME city!

    Then of course the obligatory photos of HER with her grandfather (I was inside!). She’s putrid. It’s all in the eyes, and she’s the same entitled little brat (and clearly posing) in the photo with Brit. Isn’t that about the age she fooled her parents country club into putting on a birthday party after her parents canceled hers?

    Julia, you’re dead and black on the inside. No one will ever love you, nor do you deserve it.

    • MMMM that’s the kind of brayge you can pour into a cup and start your day with!

      I noticed the eyes too. Obviously she is a demon and I am curious to find out what happens when she is doused with holy water.

      I thought she was 12 when she pulled that birthday stunt but maybe I’m just confused by all the #sheis12 stuff.

      The grandpa business is gross. Just gross. I wonder if she visited his body to pay her last respects turn him upside down and shake him to see if any money fell out.

    • For some reason I thought her grandfather was either living with the Baughers in Chicago or in hospice in Chicago? Or did they take him back to LA when he went into hospice? It doesn’t seem like he’s lived in the house in Glendale for quite a while.

      And I hate knowing all these intimate details about her family life but SHE MAKES IT ALL PUBLIC!

    • That girl seems obnoxious as hell, and has a way too high opinion of herself. Way to pay yourself on the back, toots.

      • Really? I was wondering if she’s single and would like to head over to Bastille Day here with me in Milwaukee.

        • Yikes…well I suppose I DO sound kind of obnoxious, don’t I? I am slightly embarrassed to have flooded the internet with a long list of my mediocre accomplishments, and I am a most definitely a little scared that I’ve been linked here and thrown to the wolves. I won’t stay long, I promise.

          Jack, I would say yes, but unfortunately I’m hanging out with my parents tonight. Pot/kettle? You bet.

          • It was to make a point and I thought she did a good job of doing just that. Don’t throw her to the wolves!

          • Erin, I think you’re awesome and I totally got what you were saying. Good for you for all you’ve done… I felt like you were mostly trying to highlight how ridiculous it is to think about a man 24/7 for 15 years when others lead full lives.

            We’re cool here, come hang out when you want!

          • Erin, ditto on the kudos — when I read that cringe-worthy tweet, I thought (not being a woman myself), “Are all others with vaginas who HAVEN’T spent the last 15 years crying over “boys” not women, then?” Lesbians? Women in solid relationships? Non losers? All not women?

            And then you very succinctly addressed it. Nicely done. Come back any time.

          • Have fun, Erin, and thanks for the fun blog post. We catladies are appreciate solid accomplishments and folks who work for a living.

          • Uhm, there’s nothing in that post by erin that hasn’t been said here thousands of times by RBD commenters in exactly the same format.

            Julia tweet: Waking up at noon is haaaaaaard!

            RBD commenter: OMG Bitch! I wake up at 1am so I can go feed homeless junkie veterans WHILE wetnursing crackbabies AND taking care of my 8 cats AND working on my Master’s degree in the Sociodynamics of Bio-Vector Analysis until midnight! I have two stumps for legs because they were blown off by land mines while I was volunteering in Africa SO YEAH, GETTING UP IN THE MORNING IS DIFFICULT FOR ME TOO!

            erin, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments and you sound like a good person. When you are finished washing your hair or hanging out with your parents or whatever you should consider a date with Jack.

  33. it gives me the sadz to see pics of her as a child. what happened to her to make her so ugly inside? and then she decided to alter her appearance to match the inside. she was a cute kid (despite what some of you have said in the past… i mean, come on. cute little girl.) and she was a pretty young woman before she started messing with herself. regardless, it’s her insides that got so nasty. i wonder who the real julia allison is. she probably doesn’t know either.

    • “My grandfather – for reasons not entirely clear to me, since he was a lawyer turned businessman – had a huge, tricked out Woodshop in the back of the complex. ”

      That’s your answer. 30 years old and she doesn’t understand why a man would want to use his hands to work, craft, build, create something useful. 30 years and she never used an opportunity to get to know her grandfather and understand his values, of hard work, of pride.

      Instead she willfully stays lazy, stupid, and stunted. Reaping the rewards and opportunities afforded to her by generations of hard workers. Lawyers! Businessman! Nixon staff writer! MIT doctorate! Cornerstones and pillars of a community that they’ve lived in their entire lives!

      And what’s her 30 year old dilemma? Crowdsourcing in the early breaches of dawn what to call her wish board, er I mean, Tumblr.

      But then I’m only inferring from a simple photograph.

      • ok ok you’re right.
        it still makes me sad to see a young girl and know what she grew up to be. i’m sappy that way.

      • I know. My dad is also a lawyer, and also has always had a woodshop. WTF is so crazy about that?!?!?

      • Donkey obviously believes the sum total of who people are is what they do for a living.
        Which does not bode well for her because since she has a crap sack of a career, it makes her a sac à merde.

  34. That sad distance between that little girl and the thing she is now is the only character depth available. And it’s really the only thing that’s making vested in this story worthwhile.

  35. All of these interviewers, including this Forbes woman, all express the same pearl clutching wonder – “I don’t know why Julia gets so much vitrol in the internet??” This always leads to about 100 comments explaining everything Julia has said or done. Which leads to said interviewer express more wonder why people hate Julia. I want to scream ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE JUST TOLD YOU WHAT DONKEY HAS DONE, and if you do not believe them freaking google it. Her shit is all over the internet.

    • So very much THIS. I feel like what happens is that she seeks out someone who could write about her and does the latch-on-I’m-so-nice! thing. But then when you see so much come out in the comments section you would think they would see that she manipulates.

      On the other hand. Once you have gotten to know her in person you become scared of “poking the bear.”

  36. Apologies if this has already been addressed, but I didn’t have time to read through all of the comments today with all of my busy desk errands:

    KallaNYC: I am very curious as to what kind of fillers, injectables, etc you have had done to your face. You look like a completely different person than you did in 2007 – not like a 30-year-old at all.
    Also, what prompted you to have this work done? How do your family and friends feel about what has happened to your face?

    juliaallison: Hahah okay … I’ve had Botox twice, and restalyne once. That doesn’t change your face, though.
    Not sure what to tell you! I think I look pretty much the same, give or take a few pounds.

    I mean…can we say delusional???

    • “not sure what to tell you” = i’m not even going to try to lie, just distract and deflect

      • Who would be saying “hahahah” to that? I would be mortified.

        How can she not see????? I know the cheeks have plumped over the eyes so perhaps that is the answer.

        • I’m not even going to address why she would ever get Botox, I do not get it. But Restelayne (sp) by 30????

    • yay! love the big lebowski….didn’t know it could be improved with boozecats, but lo and behold, it could!!

      i am not able to see nonsociety today. anyone else? it says it’s unavailable. i wanted to check out the cray.

      • It’s up, and yes, the front page links are still totally broken lololololol.

        Oh my mistake, Julia “INTERNET ENTHUSIAST” Allison and “MC Time’s links work. But no one else.

  37. what is the highest # of comments a post on Julia Allison Baugher has even gotten on RBD? This one is closing in on 500 (color me impressed)

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