Donkey Caught In Act Of Filming Herself, Making Sure To Capture Only Right Side of Face …. Then Again, Look At The Left Side


This photo is on the NBC website.

There is always something special about stumbling upon photos that Donk herself has not put online. Mostly because you know she kills out 100 fug photos before she chooses the Pretty Pink Princess ones she posts to her blog and Twitter, and so getting captured in the wild must really infuriate her because she has no control over the image.

Hence the frequent Wikipedia meltdowns over photos she had nothing to do with and could not suppress.

It’s also always so funny seeing her actually posing, this time for herself. What a tool. This is something a 16-year-old at her first concert might do. In fact, I saw some young asshole doing this at a Ryan Adams concert in the front row and he completely mocked her for it and the crowd cheered. But this loon is 30 years old. She was there alone, with no friends, and she’s at the front filming herself singing along. I get the Cankleshausen just thinking about what the people around her must have thought. Even the security guard looks confused, as if he’s thinking: “Is this idiot really filming herself?”

She is Queen of The Tools.


      • Conversation starter/attention grabber: much like her dog, her brother’s MIT gear, her dad’s Princeton stuff … just another of the many fake-ass props she uses to get people to fall into the trap of asking her a question and thereby getting sucked into the vortex of JULIA!!!!!
        (Free Lilly.)

  1. I don’t think she’s filming herself. She is probably taping the concert (she posted it on vimeo).

    • Didja watch the video? She kept flipping the camera to herself to sing the only two words she knows. She looks manic as hell, too.

    • Yes, go to her Vimeo and actually watch the vids. Also, if she’s filming him here, why is her camera pointed in one direction and her face in the other? She’s filming herself and trying to get the good side, it looks like to me. But I definitely could be wrong. And if so, I am an online bully and Obama needs to arrest me. For all the girls.

      • I saw she posted a video and it looked like it was of him singing but now i watched it and oh, what was I thinking assuming she’d pass on that opportunity. She looks like a horse in the picture above, for the record.

        • I made the same mistake. Watched a few seconds and thought it was boring. Then I saw the cat ladies talking about her continuously bringing the camera back to herself. Of fucking course she did.

          • I made my dad surreptitiously video me while screaming my lungs out at a Guns N’ Roses concert. I was ten years old.

        • And that arm! Like some albino moray eel slithering out of a reef 20,000 leagues under the sea.

      • This theory of events is supported by the videos IMO. She also did the same thing when she saw Lady Gaga at Davos. Half the time she was on Gaga, half the time on herself.

        Never in my life would i think to turn a camera on myself during someone else’s performance.

        It actually makes my brain melt to consider the ‘intellect’ of a person who would do such a thing. Especially a grown ass woman.

      • My god, she is totally filming her right side. WHAT A NUT!!!!!

        • I tried it in the mirror just now: unhinging your jaw to the other side makes the side you’re looking at look longer

          Who would do this?

    • it is clear she was variously filming herself and the show, but at this moment the screen of her phone appears to be facing her not the backside… just looks like the headphone jack and volume control are both on the left at the top as it would be if the screen side was facing her…

  2. Also, I’ll eat every hat that has ever been created if she knew the lyrics to his songs. It’s not a disney movie soundtrack, mind you.

  3. Again, she’s acting. EVERYTHING. Every. Little. Goddamned. Thing. is a presented, intentional action because she thinks “it fits.”

    “Oh, I’m at a concert? At concerts girls in the front row scream and haw, so I’ll do that! It will be the right thing to do!” Someone already mentioned this in the previous post, but it’s like she saw some footage of a Beatles concert and just thought, “I should do that.”

    Its sort of like on the CATEGORY 5 DISASTER that was the Mark Zito radio interview, where someone mentions a baby being woken up because of a fight and she goes, “Aww, that’s sweet” because “a baby was mentioned so that’s what you say when there’s a baby thing.”

    I would KILL to watch her improvise, because improv would FORCE her to reveal who she truly is. WHOEVER she REALLY is, she lives every second of every day in a constant struggle to keep it masked with vile pink avatar, and it’s making her rot on the inside and out.

    • Also every single other female in that picture is tinier and cuter than she is.

      Every single one.

    • Remember her profession is about presentation and perception? Nothing authentic, nothing uncalculated.

    • I personally think the roots of the problem are that she never felt loved or accepted as a child in a family of high academic achievers where she was not as well-endowed intellectually, and she could never get to the holy grail of unconditional love. So she’s created this persona that she has to really work to keep up. No wonder she can’t hold down a job, it’s exhausting presenting a face to the world that she thinks she has to. I agree with the commenter who said a few months ago that the NPD is on top of some very serious depression.

      • I think you’re right. And throw in her mother’s weird obsessions about eating, dieting and landing a man, and you have a recipe for a deranged donkey.

        • Sexual assault can often manifest in eating issues. It’s a control thing….I wonder if her mother’s ordeal was a contributor to the food issues or just amplified them. And if Julia was competing on beauty and having a “fabulous life” in lieu of academic achievement, I could see how the food issues could easily be internalized there too.

      • “Can’t hold down a job” implies that she’s actually had one. She never has from what I can gather, a full time job she had to be at everyday, except the ones Dadsers conned for her when she flunked out of Indiana U, on OMG THE HILL.

        • The “hill” thing was a gift from Mark Kirk and was neither full time nor serious. She was not supporting herself, since she admits she was making about 25k/yr but living in DC and shopping/eating at restaurants all.the.time.

      • Yeah, it’s clear she’s pretty low on the candle power upstairs…which must have been rough with a book nerd like Peter as a dad.

        No wonder he seems to prefer Brit to Julie.

  4. “Mostly because you know she kills out 100 fug photos before she chooses the Pretty Pink Princess ones she posts to her blog and Twitter, and so getting captured in the wild must really infuriate her because she has no control over the image.”

    I don’t “take hundreds of photos” like she does, or even post lots of pictures of myself, but if someone posts an unflattering photo on Facebook of me I get pissed. Is that OK?

    • It’s fine. There are quite a few people on Facebook who are perfectly happy to post unflattering photos of others but not of themselves. Drives me batty.

    • I don’t get pissed, because I don’t think it’s intentional (I *always* look shitty in pics & to them, that’s just *me*, we’d never agree) but I sure as hell untag myself ASAP.

      • Yeah, I don’t throw a fit or anything just untag. Am just hoping that’s not Donkey behavior (and would trust if you ladies told me it was.)

        • I’ve untagged pictures I didn’t like of myself. I think there is a huge difference between untagging a photo on facebook and, like, contacting Wikipedia and throwing a fit!

          And I actually choose pictures of my friends that are the most flattering to post. Even when I think they look good, if there is something about the picture I know they’d have an issue with, I just don’t post it. Unlike Julia, I don’t need to document every.little.thing!

        • The Julia in my life (well, no longer in my life, thank God) used to alter every photo she put on Facebook: airbrushing people’s acne, boosting their eye color, etc. She thought she was doing them a favor. It was terrifying.

          • Once, I touched up a pic of a woman who had been pretending to be a friend (she was fixated with a guy I’d dated and moved on from). I pushed in her fupa and got rid of most of the flab below her chin, in order to help impress the guy.

            Of course, after I found out what a backstabbing bitch she is, I made sure he (and some other people) saw the original photo.

    • Totally. Especially since I doubt very much you have devoted your life to taking hundreds of thousands of pictures of yourself or that you’d go to a public event where there were news cameras and photographers and still be front and centre braying and hamming it up. So it’s only natural that if someone chooses a hideous one and posts it without your OK, it would grate.

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  6. I, for one, would like to congratulate the Fat Melmans on achieving the Guinness World Record for Fewest People of Color Ever to Attend a Hip-Hop Show.

  7. I just watched the “Fuck You” video & looked again at the blue-toned pics posted by ‘CeeLo” … now I wonder if Donkey herself came to RBD & posted those whorendous fauxtos of her melty face … is she that braytarded & desperate for attn?


  8. The only thing making this video watchable is Cee Lo. Is it weird I have a strange attraction to him?

    • He creeps me out. When I saw him at a festival a few years ago he stripped off his shirt. Started tweaking his nipples and then pointed at us and screamed, “Show me some titties! I won’t go on if I don’t see some!”

        • Romance isn’t dead after all! “You had me at ‘show me some titties!'”

          • This whole thread made me lawl. I like Cee-Lo a lot and his voice is amazing. But I fear he has t-rex arms and that’s a deal breaker ’round here.

        • we also call that a date in these parts. Throw a drink in there, you have me for life.

    • its weird you have a thing for jiggly black bellies cuz that’s all I saw in that video. does she ever capture his FACE?

  9. Donkey, really? (And honestly, shouldn’t you try to find something better to do with your time than obsessively read this site?)
    However, this picture does provide some excellent material for you to ponder:
    Everyone else is watching the action on stage but in order to photograph yourself, you are looking away from the stage to get a picture of your “good side”.
    Do you get it now? Do you?
    You are not the subject here, Miss Jowlia Alarmington Blogger. The performer and or his material is. Record it if you must (must you?); that’s what everyone else holding a camera is doing. But you? No. Your camera is pointed at you. And YOU are not the object of interest here. N.O.T.
    Your self-centered behavior doesn’t make you look sassy, madam, it makes you look obnoxious and loathsome. Normally I point to your enablers for these embarrassing lapses in dignity/composure/decency but this one is all your own. Check yourself.
    PS: I don’t know what lies you told about being “media” or how many ribs you jammed your elbows into to commandeer a front row position but it’s clear the only reason you want to be at the edge of the stage is to take pictures of yourself there. Similarly with Gaga. Stop. Please, PLEASE stop. Your behavior is hideous. Sorry, but that’s the call.

    (Ugh, dear hearts, I just kant with this donkey lately.)

    • If she stopped, so would the LOLz!!!!!!!!!

      Don’t stop DONKEY! DON’T!

      • Fear not. She’ll never stop. Why? Because there is nobody around her who cares enough and is sane enough to give her the tough love that is required to get someone like Donks make changes. As long as her parents provide her with a home and other stuff, she’ll never hit rock bottom. So she’ll never see the need to grow the fuck up and get the help she needs.

  10. Everyone else there looks a little done up or just healthy and summery. She looks like Gollum. Maybe that’s why she’s wearing a ring.

  11. The “Happy Wedding” video is sooooooo creepy. Kids playing and minding their own business, then a donkey appears and brays.

    • She’s like Godzilla taking over Tokyo wherever she shows up!

  12. Also, did she just keep posing and eyeing the professional photog who took this event pic? She is always looking right into the camera, like she’s trying to steal souls. Why any news outlet uses a photo with her is beyond me. I’d scrap it immediately.

    • THIS. We’d never ever use this photo on a website or in a print publication. Someone would say, “what is wrong with her face?” and my boss would say, “scrap it.” Then no one would ever see it again.

    • No doubt the person in charge of choosing photos did it out of spite. Cat people are everywhere.

  13. The thing that kills me about this is “Fuck you” is about Donkey and not a good way!

    Yeah i’m sorry, i can’t afford a ferrari,
    But that don’t mean i can’t get you there.
    I guess he’s an xbox and i’m more atari,
    But the way you play your game ain’t fair.
    I picture the fool that falls in love with you
    (oh shit she’s a gold digger)
    Now i know, that i had to borrow,
    Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
    Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
    ‘Cause being in love with you ass ain’t cheap.

    Donks, the song is a big fuck you to you and your OBO persona!

    • That’s the first thing I thought when I saw she had gone to a Cee-Lo show…isn’t his biggest hit about getting dumped by a gold-digger? HA.

  14. I just went through the gallery of photos from that night and all I can think is, “wow, women in chicago are so pretty… oh, wow, the men are hot too, ooo, more sophisticated, well dressed women… OMG!!!! MELTY FACE!!!!!”

    You cannot tell me the photog did not hate her because that photo sticks out like (bat shit) crazy.


    • Exactly! I’m sure she was a major pain in the ass to the photog all night. I bet it’s no accident that this picture ended up in the slideshow.

    • I just love Chicago. My friend used to live there and I visited her several times and had gone there for business another time as well. I don’t get her refusal to just spend some time there and embrace living there. She’s so obsessed with trying to be an LA or NYC scenester or SF/Palo Alto hot tech bitch and it’s just bizarre and sad. She acts like Chicago is some backwater town and not a nice, very metropolitan place.

      • In my experience, Palo Alto is kind of a suburban hell. It’s a big town in the middle of a big city, in the middle of a big area. It is strip-mally and generally kind of glaringly generic. Which is why every time Donks comes to town she hightails it to SF, because even she can recognize that PA is kind of a yawn. She always says the is going to visit PA/SF, which makes it appear they are practically the same place, when there is a good 35 miles between them.

        Anyone from PA, please don’t stone me. I know PA has lots of great things going for it (a nice downtown, a clean, developed feel while still keeping some small town charm, GREAT schools), but none of them are the glamorous city life things Donkey desperately craves.

        Great place to raise kids, from what I understand, but not ‘big city’ rush and excitement.

        • I’ve lived in PA and I concur. It’s at its heart a college town, and the only reason Donks grants it any cachet is because the college happens to be Stanford.

          • I went to OMG Stanford for both undergrad and grad and I definitely concur. Not a place you’d want to live as a young single person.

  15. The saddest thing about that slideshow on NBC’s page is the fact that there are about a hundred little group pictures of 20 and 30 somethings having fun with their friends. Donks was in none of those because she has no friends.

    As fucked up as her face is in that picture, I can’t get over how stumpy her fingers are. I know we’ve all joked about it before, but her hoof is in all it’s sausage snapper glory in this one!

    • I am so glad I looked at all the pics in the slide show. Turns out I know three people who were there. Two former colleagues and a friend’s brother. All totally fun, cool, smart and hard working.

      I’d email them and ask them if they saw the Donkey at the concert, but I don’t think I am alone in saying how difficult it is to describe the Donkey to those who do not know the back story all the way to gawker days. Amirite??

      Agreed. This chick doesn’t have a true friend in the entire world.

      I wonder if the white dress has been returned to Nordstrom or if it’s in CA (uncleaned, natch!)

      • forget explaining the donk and rbd, you should just ask if they recall seeing her there adn if they have any stories like “this one 40 year old woman with bad plastic surgery kept asking everyone to take her picture because she had no friends with her”

  16. I look at this picture and can’t help but imagine her braying at full voice,



    Melty face is melty.

    • Oh, come on, are you kidding me? One more try.


  17. I love this so, so much. Just perfect. WE NEED A NEW BANNER with this photo incorporated!

  18. [img][/img]

    • The forelegs puckering out of too-tight armholes is giving me claustrophobia.

    • Does the mouth close, ever? Like ever ever? Is there one phone on the whole internet with her mouth closed all the way (kissy face and duck face don’t count)?

      • I know. Is she a secret bug eater? I really can’t understand it. The gaping maw is so tacky and gross. I feel she must have some deep seated issues with her smile/closed mouth, as having her mouth open at all times in photos seems to be her go to pose 80% of the time.

        And it’s never really a good look unless you are caught laughing because someone made a hilarious joke and you can’t help it.


    • Ugh. I just noticed the red, white and blue nail polish. So tacky. Everything is a fucking theme to her.

    • [img][/img]

      • Dying.[img][/img]

    • Let’s just pretend this was a proper reply to Prof F Camping.

      Kind of like Donkey pretends to understand politics.

      • Incredible how she has that Georgetown diploma and doesn’t know shit. Is Georgetown sort of easy or something? Maybe except for the School of Foreign Service? I don’t know too much about Georgetown, but being connected to Donkey is ridiculously defamatory. She’s such a bully!

    • I got it and was about to post the same.

      That photo infuriates me.

      A. Nice principles, you shallow, hypocritical asshat.

      B. What a fucking ham. Look at everyone else in the picture. She saw a photographer and went nuts.

      • I’m sure the crowd at that Kirk rally makes the extremely white crowd at the Cee-Lo concert look like a fucking Benetton ad!

        Ugh, I cannot with the red, white and blue nailpolish. Especially since this tool probably did something like paint her nails a rainbow after gay marriage passed in New York.

      • it was totally posed, just like that MIT empty-lecture-hall ridonkulous picture. she probably wasn’t even cheering…just silent, gaping maw posey-face.

        • Ding Ding Ding Ding…you nailed it! You only need look at everyone around her NOT cheering to determine she totally posed for the shot.

  19. After seeing this photo and others the past year or two, I think she peaked at 24-25 then went wayyyyyy downhill from there. What a horror her face is. She is the opposite of fine wine – definitely does not get better with age.

    • She really is a “what not to do” regarding injectables, isn’t she? The melty quality is really kind of sickening.

      • True dat. Injectables done right look really good. Subtle, but good. Nothing subtle about Donkeroo.

    • And the thing is, if you actually leave your face alone? You actually DO look better with age. The angles of my face have softened as I’ve aged (and I learned to do my eyebrows properly) and I get more looks and more comments now than I did when I was in my 20s or my early 30s. Women can often look BETTER as they age. I mean obviously over 50 or 55 that won’t be the case, just because you can only stave off old age for so long, but most of my female friends look better now, some of them over 40, than they did at 25. Except the ones who have done some whack-ass shit to their faces — they look older than they would have if they’d left it alone.

      Donk it’s not that difficult — eat healthy, get lots of sleep, moisturize a ton, avoid cigarettes and heavy drinking, stay out of the sun and, oh yeah — tough one for you — STOP BEING INSANE.

      • Also don’t apply make up with a trowel for pointless photo shoots every single day, binge eat and purge or destroy your metabolism and face with pointless high sugar juice cleanses.

      • I find women in late 20s/early 30s to be at their physical peak. I’ve felt that way since I left college for the real world and was around non-teenage/early 20s women. Not that anyone gives a shit what I think, but a lot of other guys feel this way too.

      • Actually, I’ve found that I’ve lost the “baby fat” from my 20s face and have some more angles and definition at just over 40. And guys who’ve known me since then have said (without prompting and without wanting anything from me) that they think I’m much hotter now.

        • I was noticing this at my college reunion, that a lot of the women (self included) look better than in we did in our 20s, but relatively few of the men (and almost none of the straight men).

  20. Julia! Next time you are at a small concert, be the mysterious girl at the bar – not the nutjob who has watched every episode of the voice and is at the very front mouthing the chorus to the only two songs she vaguely knows.

  21. I just want to point out that Netflix is trying to get me to watch this:


    They must have seen the pictures in the last thread.

  22. I’m sorry if this was already answered but did she go to this thing by herself? Because that’s sad. Also… I know I keep harping on this but GOOD LORD HER FACE. I feel like I’ve said those words so often they have lost all meaning to me. HER FACE.

    So. Sad. Julia- what the fuck did you do to yourself?!

  23. I know it’s been said 1000 times, but seriously, her face is really fucked up. Like really fucked up.

    • Maybe you need a closer look to know for sure?


      • It’s like Danielle Staub mated with Madam the puppet and the resulting baby then had a stroke.

        • HAHAHA!

          What’s up with her elbow?? Am I just being a picky hater? Or does her elbow look like a banana slice got stuck in there?

          • I scream laughing every time I see this photo. Whenever I’m having a bad day, this will turn it around. Fan-fucking-tastic!

      • HOLD UP. So she’s filming her “good side,” and also sort of moving her jaw over to the side. It’s as if she’s trying to make that side of her face look skinnier. CRAZYTOWN.

      • That there is cheapass looking cheek implant. I am not saying it is, but that shit ain’t natural, y’all.

    • Is it possible to have your cheeks raised? Because whatever she did made it look like her eyes now touch the top of her cheeks.

      • Yes, that’s possible. But the effect could also be exaggerated by her gaping maw.

  24. I asked a celiac friend about JA’s BS. He said: “People say and do a lot of weird shit.  There’s a woman in my office who bonds with me about the gf diet but she ate a bagel the other day.  A friend of mine says he “used to be” a celiac when he was younger and eats whatever he wants now.  For a year I thought I’d improve if i simply ate “less” gluten.  JA sounds like she’s full of shit in general…but her vagueness about celiac disease isn’t particularly uncommon.  Yeah, it’s possible to eat wheat anyway and feel relatively okay — the disease is more progressive and subtle.  But she could also faking the disease altogether.”

    • Thanks for that input! I am curious about this, because i had only heard the hardline that celiac means gluten free or your fucked. That said, she is crazy and a liar and probably wants non-life threatening diseases to get sympathy because for the most part no one really gives much of a shit about her braying ass. Sad!

    • I know sooooo many women who pretend to have celiac who are really high-functioning anorexics. The thing is, if you really have celiac, you can’t just “cheat a little” and have bread or have soy sauce or whatever. It makes you really sick. Gluten intolerant is a different story. But violating a celiac diet? Really not a good idea. It drives me insane.

      • Exactly, the Liarexics as per the Daily Mail article Donkey linked to the other day.

      • I know three women who have been diagnosed with Celiac in the last year. They aren’t the liarexic types, either. One is a bit of a… how do I explain this… she is always looking for the homeopathic cure for everything? Even then, she was given an actual diagnosis for Celiac, by her doctor.

        It seems weird to me that they all got diagnosed so quickly/easily. Is it possible that some doctors are just over-diagnosing it, or blowing ‘intolerance’ out of proportion for ease of phrasing?

        • Overdiagnosing is certainly happening, especially when doctors depend only on immunoglobulin tests. A lot of people are sensitive to wheat but don’t have celiac, and could get false positives on a blood test.

  25. Turns out I went to college with the short, blonde haired girl that is standing behind Julia in the picture. Can’t believe she got a front row seat to the donkey show! I’m so tempted to send her an email asking if she remembers seeing a crazy person filming herself.

  26. The entire Vimeo looks to be Cee-Lo’s nipples and tummy vs. Gaping Maw.
    Obvi too much to ask to consider the wonderfully expressive face of the singer at the Super Exclusive Fat Melman Secret Club.

  27. I am so hoping she sees this picture and thinks her upper lip needs plumping up. The road to face ruin is paved with unflattering photos.

  28. OT but can’t resist sharing a lovely JA/RBD IRL moment that happened today…I was with my kitten (16 y.o. female variety) at IKEA and when we’d got completely furnitured-out we went to their café to get a bite…she chose a chocolate pudding and then decided to grab a slice of their chocolate cake…as we stand in line to pay, she looks down at her tray and says, completely spontaneously (had not been discussing anything Julia-related), “Oh no! It’s pancakes with a side of pancakes!”

    It was just a really funny, sweet, bonding moment for us. I couldn’t help introducing her to RBD and the horror-show who inspires it all a while back. Now we have lots of RBDonk phrases in our life that are just part of our relationship and kind of reflect us relating to each other in a more “equal” way, now that she’s no longer a tiny little kitten.

    So thank you a million times to whoever originally wrote “Pancake with a side of pancakes” and thanks to each and everyone of you cat ladeez for being so awesome and witty and sharing all that here. You gave me that moment today and it was really cool.

      • No, we’re teaching the youngins about TRUTH AND JUSTICE. And occasionally about peen and poon. We’re totally PG rated.

    • That is a great story!!! I kind of feel the same way about this place. JAB represents allllllllll that is wrong/vapid/f’d up with so much of this world. It’s all in one package: how not to eat, how not to inject crap into your face, how not to do your hair/wear make-up… and so much more. So many life lessons and cautionary tales with this one. My kittens are a bit young for this but as my oldest gets closer to dating age, I would be very pleased to point to RBD and say, “See this here? This girl? Learn the Donkey. Memorize the donkey. Never the Donkey.”

  29. JuliaAllison: Dinner in Hollywood at El Compadre with my little brother, his gorgeous, sweet wife, both visiting from Boston & the one & only Max DiLallo

    El Compadre is supposedly haunted, FWIW, due to its skeezy past.

    Maybe they hoped she would scare off the haints.

    • Oh god enough with the superlatives about your sister in law, or whomever else. It’s so ass-kissy and pretentious and fake-sounding. And the “little brother” fucking shit. I have an older brother, I don’t constantly refer to him as my “older brother.” IS she fucking 12 years old?

      • I know!! I have 2 younger siblings, but i just call them my brother and sister. The brother is the middle, so he’d be justified in using older sister / younger sister to differentiate to whom he is referring, but i am pretty sure he’d just use our names…

        What. A. Tool. Bag.

        • I was always wondering about why RBD was so harsh about the little brother thing because I call my younger brother “tiny brother” all the time but just realized I can do that because I also have an older brother so I have to make note of whom I’m speaking. Now I feel better about life.

        • The beast has been poking us since her unholy birth. Occasionally we’ve been able to sneak pokes in between her flurry of pokes.

  30. OT, but about a month ago some of you cat ladies responded to a thread on GOMI where I asked about recommendations for my southwest vaca this summer… We’re going to the Grand Canyon tmrw, then staying in Sedona at least a day, then PHX and Santa Fe. I can’t find the thread where you guys recommended art galleries and good (non chain!) restaurants in Sedona and PHX. Halp?

  31. From yesterday, but: “July Travel Schedule: LA 8-11, Chicago 12-14, Jackson Hole 14-17, Chicago 18-20, San Diego 21-24, NY 24-26, Chicago 26-27, SF 27-31”.

    Like, why? It’s exhausting just to read when she posts these braggy itineraries. Like she’s a rock star on tour. There’s just such a gaping existential abyss there, running all over the country, spending a fortune to do so, when really, one has so few real friends honestly. What’s the point?

    Oh, but: (apologies for light blogging this month – it’s wedding season!). Why should that matter when she’s an advocate of Tweeting during a wedding? What the fuck else does she have to do in life, but blergh and Tweet and humblebrag? She really wears me down, this one, with her constant lies, brags, evasions. Because of wedding season, Julia is on vacation, see. As opposed to the other 11 months of the year where she works so so hard.

    Love too the bullshit about CAA and signing a contract “ten years in the making” or somesuch. Uh, well whatever it is, sounds like it’s pretty fucking stale after a decade, right? Let me guess, a Carrie Bradshaw sort of thing. UGH>kant.

    • ‘signing a contract “ten years in the making”’

      I think she’s talking about finally agreeing to enter conservatorship.

    • Ten. Months. Ago.
      Julia is getting a shot on OWN – Oprah’s network.
      Thats why she dropped that little detail in and why CAA are involved.
      This should be good.

      • God, you’re right, ten months not ten years. It will still stink of Carrie Bradshaw though.

        Isn’t CAA now in a forbidding fortresslike megaplex office building sort of on a highway but set back a bit? Like, how the fuck would she actually catch the royal convoy passing at 55mph while she’s there on serious bidness? Is that plausible, her squee, or is she just fucking lying again?

        Uh, OWN is a disaster, no one watches it, and I pray to god she gets a deal to do a terrible fucking show we can talk about.

        • Think about how busy our humble little home would become! Instead of, what, a few hundred cat ladies, RBD would be overrun with thousands.

    • “William and Kate just drove by CAA headquarters, where I am.”

      fwiw, the law firm she mentioned is in the CAA complex.

      No mention of her manager at a contract signing? OK.

      Her contact page still lists agents at ICM — including her manager, who left ICM a few years ago.

      • her manager steven used to be at ICM – now is at the Collective. does she have a rep at CAA?

      • Just, all this talk of agents and lawyers and managers..

        Has Julia Allison ever done anything to make a fucking red cent, ever? Much less for anyone else like an agent, lawyer , manager?

        Those are for people who make money. Big money. Julia is not in that league, she does not make money, and I think she’s (shockingly) kind of a fucking liar when it comes to describing her business arrangements like this. Uh, fuck that.

        Let’s see, she has a “Social Studies Team!” at TMS in Chicago that has to meet her every fucking week. She allegedly has an agent, manager, lawyers in Hollywood. WHY? This wench has scarcely earned ten bucks in her whole life. WHY would a dozen professional people be out there working on behalf of her pathetic excuse for a career? It makes no sense. She’s just such a liar and fantasist. She makes no money, zero, nada. But she’d like you to believe she has an army of Armani-clad agents and managers at her disposal. Does that make any fucking sense? Again, Julia makes no money beyond appearance fees, whatever the fuck. No one wants her, no one is clamoring for her. She is still zero-income for these pros she brags about having on her “team”. Representing Julia seems like a total loss of time and money. She’s not bringing shit in. Even if she were nice, what a waste of time for them. Oh, but maybe OWN will be a happy miracle for everyone. Guh.

        • great comment, and by ‘appearance fees’ you mean the money she extorts from people to NOT show up at their wedding/bris/consumation/bar mitza/birth

          @ss miss you!

        • Yeah the 10 month legal contractual negotiations gave me the rages. Um, bitch? No lawyer is putting more than a few hours into anything related to you. I’ve worked at firms repping upper level execs at major banks that were earning in the hundreds of millions and they didn’t fucking take that much negotiation. Also what is the contract for? All these negotiations, never a word as to what the result is. Except for the Sony deal which she promptly lost and which led to nothing else, what fuck has she done? Some crappy columns and an internet talk show no one watched that was terrible? Fuck off already.

  32. From Wikipedia –

    Creative Artists Agency (CAA) is a prominent entertainment and sports agency headquartered in Los Angeles. CAA represents A-list and emerging stars in movies, television, music, and sports. It is often cited as the world’s leading talent agency[1] and its clients include George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt, Lebron James, Sandra Bullock, Oprah Winfrey, Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Will Smith, and Reese Witherspoon.

    • Yeah, if OWN is not only signing a Donkey but giving Donkey a second chance at a deal, that does not bode well for OWN.

      • It may be a look-at, which would only cost them a pittance if they make a pilot that doesn’t get picked up. They are kind of pressed for content right now per my catfriend who produces reality shows.

  33. I was just thinking, while looking at this photo.. She really does have the fingers of a sausage maker.

  34. That was a reply to you, Sacred Scrapbooks.

    The Donkey has an amazing ability to fail up.

    • OWN may very well turn out to be a huge failure, but the fact that there will be a self-obsessed Donkey on TV is awful. Why can’t we have more wholesome programming than Donkey, like a reality show where naked prostitutes fight to the death?

  35. hark, what’s this? donkey brays about being in LA for @TarynSouthern’s birthday, but Taryn tweets: So happy I have @JuliaAllison here to look after Tiggie. It’s like passing my energetic child onto an unassuming friend for the weekend.
    julia is in town for draconian contract negotiations to cat-sit for Taryn???

    • [img][/img]
      Donkey is going to have high tea w/ Tiggie

    • unassuming |ˌənəˈsoōmi ng |
      not pretentious or arrogant; modest

      Taryn Southern, that word does not mean what you think it means.

      • I think this is sarcasm, just as it was when Taryn Southern tweeted about how lucky she was to have JABberwocky there to give her advice.

  36. I really hope the CAA thing is her signing up to be the next “villain” type on OWN. That would amazing! (sorry, amaze-ballz)

    I wouldn’t be surprised if some producer on the show has seen this site and saw the potential in casting the Donks as the lead Omarosa type.

  37. I would just like to say that with this post and all the comments and pics I have laughed for a good 15 min. and stopped all of my desk erranding.

    ah I heart you all and this blog 4 evs.

  38. The standard donkey technique of dropping tantalizing little tidbits about something amazing to come.
    And then it pans out to nothing of import. She’s an equine damp squib.
    Remember the teasers leading up to her international syndicated column launch.
    The countless “loves of her life” who were going to with her forever.
    The hints about the game changing net presence that turned out to be a series of vanity blogs.
    The talk show that was going to be the web version of The View.
    We’ve all seen how well her “great things to come” work out in the end.
    Donkey math=The whole is actually less than the sum of the parts (or promises)

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