Julia Allison’s Sad, Meaningless Existence Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

“There are no mistakes. There are only gifts!” – my improv teacher at Second City, gettin’ all deep and practical on us.

What if fame ho Julia turns her Second City edumacation into a Saturday Night Live slot? Yep, that’ll never happen.

220 COMMENTS

      • Millions of tadpoles are going to swim into that maw, followed by all the fish of the sea. Glug!

    • in what circumstance would someone need to open their mouth like that on the red carpet or where ever this pic is taken?

      she is just so in love with herself.

          • It’s double-sided tape used to hold clothing in place, usually to prevent boobs from falling out.

          • OK, I get it. My wife would just wear a dress that fits and is appropriate rather then flash her tits around. It’s ok if she wants to flash them around to me though.

          • There are dresses and other pieces of clothing that are appropriately sized but still have the potential for nip slips and other accidents. This dress isn’t one of them, but I feel compelled to mention that the tape isn’t just for idiots. I’m sure stylists go through miles of it for every awards ceremony, e.g.

  1. “There are no mistakes. There are only gifts!” Which makes Donkey “gifted”.

    We all suspected it was true.

  2. My favorite part of this tweet is someone, in the previous thread, noted she deleted and rewrote THREE times.

    Hilarious, our donkey.

    • Yeah, what is the sound that’s happening there? That should be the, “What, fifty million dollars, tax-free, all for me!?” expression.

  3. Maybe I’m just out of it – but does this quote make any sense? It’s fucking dumb and self-indulgent.

    • LOL, Like someone noted in the last thread, she changed the quote three times so perhaps it made sense when it was originally said…

      How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:
      June 28, 2011 at 3:29 pm
      Sure, Donkey, suuurrre …

      JuliaAllison: “Every mistake is a gift.” – my improv teacher at Second City, gettin all deep | 12:20 p.m. | ::tweeleted::

      JuliaAllison: “Every mistake is a gift.” – my improv teacher at Second City, gettin’ all deep and practical on us. | 12:20 p.m. | ::tweeleted::

      JuliaAllison: “There are no mistakes. There are only gifts!” – my improv teacher at Second City, gettin’ all deep and practical on us. | 2:19 p.m.
      Reply

      • I wonder if she’s taking notes while in class. Stars, underlining, and arrows for everyone!

      • Painfully unfunny Donkey stinks up the improv class, pouts.

        Teacher comforts Donkey with a box of kleenex and a few cliches.

        Donkey uses the humiliating experience as content for a humblebrag on Twitter, then hoovers up a quantity of chocolate roughly equal to the amount in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river.

        Donkey realizes that the tweet makes it appear that she made mistakes in her improv class. Donkey decides she must have misheard the teacher because — hello! — Julia Allison does not make mistakes. She changes the tweet to conform to her new version of reality.

        Catpeople the world over rejoice over Donkey’s latest gift.

    • It makes more sense in the context of an improvisational comedy sketch class—the idea being that you work with whatever happens rather than try to control the experience—than in actual life, where committing the “gift” of running a red light often means someone winds up dead.

      Nerd Note: “Gift” in German means “poison” but I doubt the instructor was making a multilingual pun referring to what he’d like to feed a donkey.

  4. Donkey was this urinal designer’s muse …
    [img]http://www.ahjohn.ca/ahjohn_en/wp-content/uploads/news/2010/05/31/20100531023451938876.jpeg[/img]

  5. Is that a pastie I spy? Usually, one should not have to wear pasties with a wrap dress as neither the sideboob nor the underboob is meant to be on display. But you do you, Julia.

      • i thought it might be double-sided tape, then thought it couldn’t possibly be, that it was just a trick of the light…but no, it is! klassy.

        • She didn’t notice any of the flaws that make this picture so hilarious — she only saw that the NBC logo made a little princess tiara on her head.

  6. Who can gross the world out with her maw
    Who can bray, and fill the day
    With nonsense that boils down to “Tee-hee-haw”?
    Well, it’s you, Donk, and you’re a flower
    Of nausea that makes us want to vom in the shower—
    Donkerina’s crap is crass and boring
    Humiliating moments when she thinks she’s scoring
    She’s just a Donkey after all!

    • Hat tip to whatever genius catlady came up with “Tee-hee-haw.” As I said on the last thread, I love coming here because my pants won’t pee themselves; y’all make it so easy!

      • Pretty sure that Tee Hee Haw is mine …
        (at least I thought it was original when I typed it)

        #WillPlagiarizeForGrapefruit

  7. Something called Centernetworks Tweeted:
    @JuliaAllison curious, do you share the revenue from your columns with the people who write the replies?
    She responded:
    @centernetworks – not sure I follow. I write the replies. To whom are you referring?

    I’m on Donk’s side here- she definitely writes the replies. And the questions too! And the idea of “revenue from your columns” is frankly hilarious.

    • Dear @Bridezilla, E-Snoop-Dogg, and Four Weddings and a Wedding: Here are the fuck you pennies from your participation in my syndicated column, now appearing in over 100-98 papers.

    • There are replies on the columns?

      Ohh. Is that person pointing out that she basically plagiarizes/listicles all her responses, just like the whole gift-gate from back at GTown?

      • I would assume so. Because, essentially, she does. You say “Twitter.” Julia Allison says “Word Count-Filler.”

  8. [img]http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnj3mskJOF1qz6dlko1_500.jpg[/img]

    Thankyou Granny Greenbucks!

    She’s got the bill in one hand and money to pay for it in the other.

    • Screed Redacted

      @JuLIAR Allison (a leading farce in new media & web 2.0)@Naansociety

      Obviously Julie Can’t, But we can leave Grandma out of this. (I have been once quilty, I won’t be again.)

      There is NO (is there?) reason to believe that Madam Baugher Sr. is directly responsible for the Bitch and Donkey Show. And I just sort of feel that women of her age and generation deserve some greater respect. Julie is the tool for exploiting her, not us.

      • I too am for giving Granny Money Bag$ a pass.
        She had Mom$ers # from the get-go, after all…

      • Sorry, but I don’t see how I was disrespecting Granny up there. My point was more “That’s so Julia, never paying for meals *rolls eyes*”.

        I think you’re reading too much into what I wrote.

        • I don’t see a problem with it either. This site has never had a problem re-posting anything from Julie’s liecast and I don’t see why things should change now. The pic is funny and on point. Granny MB is a major figure in Donkey’s life and unlike Britt and Allie, serves up continued donations to perpetuate the whole Show.

          If you don’t like it, ignore it. You guys are acting like Julia: “I can’t handle sugar so we should just ban it for everyone”

          • Not to mention, if JA is to be believed, grandma says some fucking obnoxious things.

            If, indeed, she did offer that ‘divorcee and widowers’ comment, then she might be part of what has driven the looney out of tune with society. Of course, maybe it was meant to be ‘funny,’ but when your granddaughter is already a raging marriage lunatic, do not encourage her!!

    • Ya, I’ll add my two cents: if Julie Albertson wants to splash her family photo album across the internetz, no one can stop her (clearly). But I don’t want to see pictures of them here. That is all.

  9. On her “blog” right now she has photos of her grandma and her dog, with no captions or words or anything; whereas she has time to caption photos of her bike and gym (probably/maybe because they were each shills and she has to?) not to mention she captions some photos on some godawful fashion shots. Nice to see where her priorities are, and how the blog (unintentionally) shows he shallow she is.

    • Julia will be fixing that for you in 3 2 1, because she never ever–no, she doesn’t!–reads here!

      • And… looks like she put a caption for Lily: “Wet rat dog!”

        THREE. WORDS.

        Which, if I’m not mistaken, seems to reference the comments here about Lily’s appearance. Because she NEVER reads here.

  10. Crazy loonass Donkey can’t even be consistent w/ her made-up shit …

    BLAHHHG:
    Now that you’re 30 – and still single – you’ll really only be able to date either…”
    “Now that you’re 30 – and still single – you’ll really only be able to date either divorced men or widowers!”

    my grandmother at dinner last night.
    I think you forgot convicts, Gram!

    TWATTER:
    JuliaAllison: My Grandmother: “Now that you’re 30 & still single, you can probably only date divorced men or widowers!” I think you forgot convicts, Gram.

      • Isn’t the median age for a man to get married these days something like 29? Maybe that was for white men? I remember reading something like that at one point. Clearly, 30 is no big deal unless you’re a mental case…

    • I hope Grams really did say something to this effect, mostly in hopes that she just wanted to poke the donkey.

    • In theory, dating should get easier for Julia as she ages; the proportion of single males of her age who are too douchey to sustain a relationship will rise, and she will be able to find her soul mate at last! For 3-6 months or 3-6 visits, whichever comes first.

    • That’s REALLY funny, because being divorced or having your wife die on you is TOTALLY like being convicted of a felony and serving time in a state or federal penitentiary! Those improv classes are worth every penny!

    • It’s kind of sad, the sort of completely antiquated and almost misogynistic message that sends to Julia. There are plenty of men over the age of 30 who are not divorced, widowed, or former residents of state prisons. I don’t know what’s more offensive, that this was said to Julia or that she finds it funny.

      • I agree. Between this old loon and her mother, no wonder she’s such a mess. Their life lessons seem to amount to nothing more than: “Find a man. Find a man. Find a man.”

    • In her blahhhg comments: she was just joking! Lighten up! Don’t take it so seriously! hahahahahahaahha. Backwards senile old grannies are HYSTERICAL!

      “I’m totally just teasing, trust me. I think it’s hysterical my grandmother thinks this!!! “

  11. Spooky! Was just reading the Overeaters Anonymous book and came across this quote: “There are no mistakes, just different lessons.” I seriously doubt that Julia is seeking help for her sugar addiction and food obsession … But it’s sad to compare where she should be (inpatient treatment) with where she is (sponging off her family, mooching a free place to live with her parents, getting free meals from granny, pissing off serious students at Second City, mourning the loss of her looks, prospects and boners to kill).

    • THREE papers! My lord, that $40-$50 weekly is definitely approaching fuck-you money proportions.

      When do you think the colyum is going to be canceled? We should do a pool. I give it three more weeks.

      • I think it depends on how close Dadsers is with the person who gave Julia the job. You wouldn’t want to get on Dadser, Esq’s bad side! Just think of the crayon-scrawled stationery that’d be sent across your desk! “Stop boolying Julia! She is old n frale. 🙁 don B meen!”

      • I only count 2 papers: St Petersburg, FL and Oakland, CA (which is broken up into a few smaller papers, it seems). What’s the other one? Is she still in that random paper in India?

          • *snort*.
            all we produce in the US anymore is stupid shit like julia fucking allison’s column. anything that is worth anything has already been outsourced to the infinitely tinier and cuter indians and chinese. Jerseyshore Algernon Butterscotch should be ashamed; pretty much anyone could do her job better, cheaper, and faster.

          • [img]http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/29/bb445e5d-7bc7-4d3a-85f0-5d97d5d8b6b4.jpg[/img]

  12. Ooh. Didn’t someone in comments the other day point out that Lilly always looks filthy, and therefore rat-like and not cute? Something to that effect.

    Queue picture of Lilly in the sink.

    I’m telling ya, Jules, my current ‘requestion’ is “Why doesn’t she paint her toenails rainbow for her gay love?”

    Also, how come all of Julia’s friends are hella ass white? Does she really hate the browns?

    • “Does she really hate the browns?”

      Yes, I’ve thought the same thing for quite some time. Her comment about her family being “blended” also made me think that she also kind of doesn’t like asians (her sister in law is half asian).

      • Yeah. Donks doesn’t have any non-white friends. I doubt she ascribes to white power principles; I think she’s just tots literally xenophobic; Julia’s one true passion is for what she considers conventionality, and if you come from a background where you, say, speak a different language, that’s just WEIRD and suboptimal. She condescended outrageously to the Swedes too; you don’t need to be non-white for Donks to hate you, just foreign.

        • It’s also kind of weird, given how privileged she was growing up, that she’s never really traveled at all. A tourist-y trip here and there to the most Americanized places in Europe (while staying in touristy areas with American hotels and restaurants)… but otherwise, nothing. I almost feel bad for her.

          • Interesting point. These people never miss an opportunity to prioritize appearance over experience. Sad.com, shower.vom

          • The Boogers aren’t particularly wealthy. Upper middle class, at best.

          • I never said they were wealthy. Dadster isn’t a partner at a particularly high-paying firm and it’s clear they live off his income, not savings or investments. That said, Donk was privileged–incredibly privileged compared to the average American kid. Never worked a real job, didn’t pay for her own education, never had to work for anything, and her parents have funded her for basically a decade while she has spent like a drunken sailor with a credit card.

            Despite this, she hasn’t done any interesting travel or accumulated any perspective on the world beyond that of a tacky suburban mall-going idiot. When she has gone overseas, it’s for short periods and it’s to Americanized locales.

          • Her spending hasn’t been all THAT outrageous. Yes, more than the average American, but not all that monied.

            Even when she was buying clothes in NYC, it was the cheap line at Blooiongdale’s, Forever 21 and the knockoff shoes. Whenever she wore anything expensive, it was either borrowed or given to her.

          • She makes almost no income… yet flies across the country 25x a year, takes cabs everywhere, goes skiing and holds bicoastal braying events, eats out all.the.time (she admits she can’t cook and doesn’t food shop), lived in a nearly 3k/month apartment in NYC, buys all kinds of Mac products, etc. etc. All on basically no income.

            Come on… what other 30 yr old do you know that is supported by their parents to the tune of probably 100k (post-tax) a year?

          • Oh, and her parents pay for her health insurance, too. Plus all the astrology consultations, obnoxious pedicures, a personal trainer, etc.

          • I gotta go with Afghani here.

            As a person who makes their own income/buys their own stuff/works HARD for that, i have been to more interesting places on my own dime/worked for it.

            And i’m not that awesome. I am just interested in things other than myself.

            She’s lame.

            This improv thing is sadsers, too.

        • Cue the requisite Meghannaise-My-Long-Lost-Bestie! tweet or blahhhg post in 3…2…1…

          p.s.
          Dance, Donkey, dance!

    • I want to see her recreate the rainbow eyeshadow she posted a few days ago, and pair it with that suspenders outfit.

      • I asked this the other day and everyone shouts me down “BUT SHE DATED HARRISON FORD”. So fucking what. She’ll date anyone in a position of power. HAS JULIA HAD A BLACK FRIEND? EVER?

        WHY IS JULIA SO RACIST?

        • I didn’t see the discussion the other day, but in the past someone who knows her (Jack the Bulldog?) has pointed out that her classism sometimes overrides her racism. The browns are tots groovy if they give her the chance to bask in reflected glory. Otherwise they need to hurry up and serve her corn so she can flee.

          • Classism and heterosexism trump all for the improv queen. However, I did watch her try to cozy up to two black female students, both hailing from impressive OMG! backgrounds–they saw through the slobbering suckup immediately and were ice cold to Julia and her porno cheerleader skirt. Most people catch on after a few minutes, and I think OMG! Yellow Fang keeps her around as a joke, enjoying the lengths that Julia will go to try and please her. “Peel ya a grape, Miz Zuckerberg?”

          • Agree, classism trumps everything where Julie is concerned.

            But a close second is every other ism and phobia in existence… All tied for second place.

        • ah, true; forgot about him.
          [img]http://dcprosportsreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Julia-Allison-Michael-Wilbon-Krystal-Kahler-Miami.jpg[/img]

        • [img]http://goodfellaspainting.com/images/goodfellas_painting-small.jpg[/img]

          TOMMY: I like this one. One dog goes one way and the other goes the other.

          MOTHER: One’s going east, the other’s going west. So what?

          TOMMY: And this guy’s saying, “Whaddya want from me?” The guy’s got a nice head of white hair. Beautiful. The dog it looks the same.

          JIMMY: Looks like somebody we know.

          TOMMY: Without the beard! Oh no, it’s him! It’s him.

          • Sorry guys, this was supposed to be a commentary on Donkey’s 3-D mindfuck of leg posture, peek-a-boo little man in a boat, etc, and went psychotically awry.

          • This pleased me even though I had no idea what was happening.

  13. This donkey has been boring the tits off me lately. Other shit I done did lately:

    [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/3160rpu.jpg[/img]

    and

    [img]http://i53.tinypic.com/nmyrdx.jpg[/img]

    • CUNTbunnies, you have a true gift (not the fakey “gift” of fucking up in your improv class).

    • OMG THANK YOU! I asked Santa for a picture of Zombie Princess Di last night and I woke up and here it is! Yay!

  14. It would be fascinating to watch her improvise. The nasty thing about improv is that whoever you really are comes to the surface. You can’t avoid it. As you’re trying to have spontaneous reactions, you don’t have the luxury of resorting to a fake persona. The choices you make in your scenework ends up coming from your core. If you’re a negative, complaining asshole then you’re going to be a negative, complaining asshole in scenes. If you’re boring and dumb, then you’ll be boring and dumb. If you’re an arrogant know it all, etc…

    I guess she just plays a lot of entitled, critical bitchy characters who play dumb.

    • I totally get what you’re saying, and I would be afraid to do improv for that reason. What if who I think I am isn’t who I think I am at all? Skeery.

  15. That dog needs its thyroid checked. I’ve never seen eyes that buggy on something that wasn’t an insect. Why didn’t Donk enter Lily in the World’s Ugliest Dog contest? Lily would have had a decent chance.

  16. I will never understand her need to showcase her wide-open maw in every single photograph. On the other hand, I am thankful that photographs do not come with sound. That being said…

    boobies.

  17. FOR THE DONKEY WHO NEVER READS HERE:
    Even 84-year-old Pope Benedict XVI is tweeting.

    #CueNextColumnTopicIn…3…2…1…

    p.s.
    Dance, Donkey, dance!

  18. So now she’s just reblogging everything ever posted on Glitter Guide? I love living differently.

    • I know! Her own content dwindled down to a picture and one sentence caption and now she can’t even do that!

      Reblogging Glitter Guide = fuck you money!

    • I’m glad others have noticed. Yes, she’s now Reblogging Glitter Guide. Just wait until she discovers Pinterest.

  19. I guess I can kind of see the improv teacher’s point – every mistake is a gift because you can learn from that mistake and grow either personally or professionally. Awkward phrasing, but I see where the teacher is coming from. I don’t think that’s what Julia Allison took it to mean though.

    • I actually thought the teacher was referring to the comic potential in screw-ups. Hey, make a mistake? Use it in your improv. It’s a gift!

      • Very similar thing applies from jazz music – mistakes are a good thing to make because it gets you into the practice of thinking on your feet and making them *not* sound like mistakes. Sometimes it’s just spontaneously brilliant because it happened without thinking; sometimes you’re able to make something good happen from a mistake; sometimes you crash and burn and learn (doesn’t mean you won’t be completely embarassed).

        It’s a very moment-in-time concept for improv.. the more personal life version would be to learn from your mistakes, be more aware and in tune with what’s happening and also be more forgiving of yourself when mistakes happen.

  20. Thank god she has three weddings coming up in July because it’s a real snoozefest out there in DonkeyLand.

  21. Is it even worth pointing out that she was up all night again? Probably not, but there you have it.

    • This must be that incredible new diet she is going to tell us all about. Drink only laxative juice, force yourself to stay up by eating buckets of ADHD drugs, ride a stupid clunker beach bike around and vom during your shower. I lost 10 pounds in one night!

      Can anyone with bipolar disorder speak up about staying up all night? I firmly believe there is no way Julia is doing this without drugs, but I’d like to hear a different theory. I’d believe she just sleeps from 3am-1pm but her posting proves that is not the case.

      • I don’t have bipolar, but I do have wicked bad insomnia and rarely go a week without missing at least one night’s sleep entirely. This is made worse if I fuck myself up by not eating properly.

      • Maybe Donkey has Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorder (which can often lead to harmful psychological / functional problems) … it stands to reason that she’d be just as insensitive to time cues as she is to other social cues …

      • I don’t know about bipolar but I have ADHD and take a really low dose of stimulants just to attempt to focus enough to function at work and not get hit by a car crossing a street etc. I don’t find it that effective at anything except daydreaming less and being a bit more “present”. When I’ve tried taking any more the effect was the opposite, instead of going through things slower and having fewer daydreams I was kinda frantic, so she definitely could be doing that. The thing is I don’t see how its sustainable – you still need to sleep at some point. My mother has depression (just regular old depression I think) and sometimes she gets horrible bouts of insomnia but it affects her greatly during the day. I guess it would be harder to notice Julia having trouble at work since she doesn’t have any real work.

      • Bipolar disorder with a side order of ADHD over here. I take 60 mg adderall (2 x 30) daily, and it’s still a huge effort to drag my ass out of bed every morning — plus, I feel physically tired all the freaking time.

        The only thing the amphetamines seem to do is give me the ability to stay on task at work. Without them, I jump up every five minutes to go do something distracting.

        When I was between jobs and didn’t have to keep normal hours, I kept my computer next to my bed. I would be online ALL night, EVERY night. When the sun came up, that’s when I would drop off to sleep. (Hi, Julia!)

        • @4chan:

          This may be a bad suggestion due to drug-interaction, so you’d want to discuss it w/ a doc, but I’m wondering if you’ve looked into taking Provigil? I took it for extreme fatigue (when I still had insurance *sniff*) & wow, did it ever make a difference. Great thing about it is that it didn’t curb my appetite (I’m always trying to gain) & it did not make me jittery or hyper. It’s for Narcolepsy, but also beneficial for off-label uses too, so your insurance may cover it.

  22. JuliaAllison: Time Mag “2045: The Year Man Becomes Immortal” http://t.co/L0Z6xSW via @TIME (mentions Singularity U, which I attended last Dec) | 4:19 a.m. | ::tweeleted::

    JuliaAllison: “The word singularity is borrowed from astrophysics: it refers to a point in space at which the rules of ordinary physics do not apply.” | 4:19 a.m. | ::tweeleted::

    JuliaAllison: “Nothing gets old as fast as the future.” – @TIME | <b.4:19 a.m. | ::tweeleted::

    RESURRECTED TO IMPRESS *WHO*? A married orthodonkist, perhaps?

    JuliaAllison: Time Mag “2045: The Year Man Becomes Immortal” http://t.co/L0Z6xSW via @TIME (mentions the fantastic Singularity U conf, which I attended) | 10:47 a.m.

    JuliaAllison: “The word singularity is borrowed from astrophysics: it refers to a point in space at which the rules of ordinary physics do not apply.” | 10:47 a.m.

    JuliaAllison: “Nothing gets old as fast as the future” – @TIME | 10:47 a.m.

    • I’m sure she did it because she reads here and she knows it makes her look like a lunatic to be up all night with this nonsense. “Just woke up…reading about astophysics!”

    • WOW! OMG YOU ARE SO FUCKING FAMOUS JULIA ALLISON! You scammed your way into an expensive conference you were totally unqualified to be at and then Time magazine wrote about it months later! Congratulations on your ability to withhold the fact that you went with Wandi Wuckerberg and her Golden Teeth! Did you ever write anything about that $x000/ticket conference? No, of course not! It’s not even in a queue. The 2 pictures you snapped of some dude lecturing with graphs was MORE than enough.

      Thanks for telling us the origin of the word Singularity instead of what they mean by it NOW (Kurzweil’s definition). I’m sure this is pretty much the only thing you understand about any of it you fucking pea brain.

      Nothing gets old faster than Julia Allison without a husband.

      • Kurzweil may predict the singularity for 2045, but no amount of nanobots will be able to reconstruct Julia’s face.

      • Thank GOD someone brought up her definition of a singularity. I choked on a pretzel chip when I first read it.

        • Oh fuck yes. That tweet is a tacit admission that she had no idea what was going on. She was scanning the audience for OMG FOUNDERS, not even trying to understand the talks.

          • I’m not as taken with the singularity meme as some, but Julia’s total lack of interest in it proves she’s a boring fuckwit operating on or below the level of the average Miss America contestant (except, obviously, Julia has incurable, self-inflicted meltyface).

          • Exactly. She’d have a better definition from nothing more than the introduction to any of Stephen Hawking’s books. She could have underlined it and photographed her fingernails pointing to the underline, not read another word of the book, and STILL had a better grasp than she displays here. (THIS is my rage spot.)

    • Who the hell reads Time?

      Orthodontist’s office reading perhaps?

      so cringe-worthy to admit reading Time, and quoting them? ugh, ridic

  23. Someone called her out on all the Glitterguide posts and, guess what? She’s just trying to LIVE HER DAMN LIFE!

    “Ha … Yeah, I really need to change the description on this blog to be something more like “things I like.” I’m just focusing more on having a life rather than writing about it … “

    • My whole take on that is that someone told her her OMG! BLOG! was the best place for fashion and Donkey ran with it because, ya know, she has no life and her blog has no content.

      But seriously, copying content from Glitter Guide and Style Me Pretty is totally going to get her Fuck you $$$$$$!!!!!

    • And the music goes womp womp womp. You’re not going to sell your Princess Fairy Corporation Blog for fuck you money, my dear, if this is your attitude.

      Failure.

    • If someone were being interviewed while Julia looked on, this is LITERALLY what Julia would do! The actual donkey makes it look much cuter, though.

  24. OT but does anyone notice when Donkey talk about Second City on her twatter she never @s them?

    Seems odd if she is truly taking classes that we haven’t seen pictures. Unless…. lies??? Not our Donkey!

    • I think this betrays the fact that Julia half-asses even that which she cares most about, her Twitter, not that she’s lying about improv, though she does lie about some amazingly stupid stuff.

    • I would be very surprised if an organization as prestigious as Second City allowed students to take photos and videos of classes. JP and I both wondered last week, if when she was told she was not allowed to “lifecast” her classes, she dropped out.

      • True… but it’s the not @ing them that has me curious… makes me wonder if she is really there.

        • And no photos of her parking her cup cake bike right in front of the building… I’m genuinely curious!

          Even if she is going – Gawd, going to improv class, then the gym – what a life!

          • Pink Petal! She finally got the joke. Cupcake lives in NYC. There is still time. Let’s see if she can/needs to/will prove it.

  25. I’m sure that someone who has the wrong limb amputated doesn’t see the gifted aspect in ending up with no arms or legs.

    • I think it’s a shill. “Train me for free and I’ll tell everyone about you on my OMG! BLOG! and then you’ll have fuck you $$$$$$!!!!”

      I’m sure she thinks a trainer is beneath her.

      • I almost hope so because otherwise her nonstop talking about him is getting on my nerves. Also what is with this lulu lemon shit? $100 for yoga pants? Do women really get dressed up for the gym? I’m happy in my crappy workout clothes or the occasional nike shorts I got on sale.

          • Oh god, I haven’t heard about Landmark in ages since some headcase manager came back all pumped up and tried to get everyone to sign up and go.

            You know, all this stuff drives me nuts – spending money to motivate, spending money on special clothing, special gear, whatever. It’s all a tool, it’s all a means to an end. Do some research, figure out the best option for you, find your goal and just start DOING IT.

            All this excess crap is just “talking about ways to succeed” – which has nothing to do with actual success.

            You don’t clean out a sink full of dirty dishes without picking up the first one and washing. Anything good in life takes effort and doesn’t have a shortcut.

            gahhhhhhhh stabbies.

          • Yeah, apparently it’s almost impossible to get promoted if you’re not a Landmark devotee.

          • well said! ““talking about ways to succeed” – which has nothing to do with actual success. ”
            that sounds like the tagline for the julia allison lifetime movie.

          • Maybe that has something to do with the lululemon killing in Bethesda last march….
            But seriously those landmark EST people freak me out. Some years back a hugely successful friend “gifted” me admission to an intro session. This was in Asia and I forgot what the exact neme of the group was, maybe PSI. At the time I having a little trouble getting it together, partying to much, unfocused career wise – hell, I was in my mid twenties. Anyways, I went to the session, armed with skepticism, as a favor to my friend. She told me all these successful people i knew had done the program, and besides I didn’t want to be rude.
            So I get there and it is a total freakshow. The leader was breaking everyone down and the room feel into some bizarro quasi hypnotized state after he played the space odyssey song. I think I was the only new person there because it wasn’t working on me. I was having none of that shit, and besides the leader told me I couldn’t drink or use drugs (I was actually on prescribed paxil to deal with some anxiety depression stuff) while I ” continued” through the program. I was like fuck that and never returned. But they got my phone number and members of the group kept on badgering me for months after that.
            I had lived near the Scientology hq in Dupont in DC and been accosted many times so I was naturally wary.
            Turns out, my brother in laws father ( my ” in law” in my ” blended family” in Juliaspeak) inadvertently invented that meter the scientologists use when he was college room mates with L. Ron Hubbard. freaky.
            I know, tldr…

          • landmark is a cult. i quit a job where the manager was sending everyone to it. seriously crazy people.

            lululemon is almost a cult. i’d never buy their crap.

          • Landmark people are nightmares. The whole thing is awful, awful.

          • jordache that was damn interesting. would love to hear more about the fallout over the e-meter and lrh.

      • That is possible, but from what I my — admittedly brief — look at their/his website, he doesn’t necessarily need her shill-for-services.

        I’ve heard that very prominent personal trainers can make pretty good money. He appears to be part of some ‘fitness TV’ thing, so he has his own degree of celeb. The guy has a B.A. and an M.A. (from undisclosed unis, which is one thing I admit as questionable) and is an adjunct ‘professor’ at some university in Illinois. I don’t have any idea about his family or credentials beyond that, except that he supposedly has ‘celebrity’ clients.

        Perhaps she is thinking that he could mean a meal ticket, access to other famous people, the ability to claim a hard-body professor, and a push to remain ‘fit’ for the rest of her life? (If she can rope him, she can overlook that he is possibly shagging the shit out of hotter hard-bodied women as she gets older.)

        Since all the info on his website is basically professional, I don’t know if his politics/interests align with whatever she has been spewing lately.

        I’m just saying that she is throwing up pics of the guy working out ‘after their session,’ like she is kicking it with him on the reg.

        Who knows with her?

  26. How pathetic is it that Julia seems to meet in person any random loser fan that asks? Who are these girls? And what the hell do they talk about.

  27. Julia, you are a lazy fuck. Seriously? Education of the future in podcasts and iPads? Have you lived in the United States in the last five years (AT LEAST)? That is old news, you Donkey. Why don’t you try to seek out the real innovative news instead of something that is as old as your YSLs.

    You might as well bow out of this social studies crap gracefully before you’re fired for being totally useless.

    • I have a lovely article about incorporating Twitter into classrooms that was published about two or three years ago. Good stuff. It is currently blocked in my district and I led a campaign to change that for specific allowances within the classroom to facilitate certain learning exercises, but some more conservative bigwigs at the district office shut-down and shelved my activism, despite the support of many other people within the D.O./neighboring schools. I plan to try and re-open the discussion this next school year.

      Regardless, this shit isn’t new. My students have been getting webpage and facebook (and myspace, when that was the thing) reminders about their homework for several years now. They know they can always contact me that way, if need be. This isn’t news.

      We also had a skype session with a guest speaker at one point, but it was brief because of connection problems. I say that without thinking I am remotely groundbreaking. Tons of people have harnessed this in much more interesting ways. I also have used my wifi hotspot on my phone to get around school restrictions for myself and my classes, for educational purposes. (Some sites I need are blocked to avoid student abuse.) Students don’t even need those damn restrictions, as most of them are updating their facebooks surreptitiously, in the middle of class, from their damn phones.

      Oh shit. I hope I don’t become ‘[her] friend M—-‘ in her next column, based on all the shit I’ve just spewed.

      Regardless — THIS IS NOT NEWS.

      • Do you have the cite for that Twitter study you mention? My fianc-cat is doing her Ed.D. and that study would be in line with sources she’ll need for dissertation? Also, if you are feeling extra-service-y, do you have any documentation from the campaign you led to get social media un-blocked? Or could she interview you? (Sorry, I’m not trying to crowd-source a la Julia, but I know you’re an experienced teacher and I’d pass along whatever you care to share)

        • AFF — I will try to find the article. I read it about two years ago, and I read a hard-copy version of it (so 1999!), but I bet it is still buried in my stuff.

          I would have to look through my m-drive (work documents) to see if I have the back-and-forth on my push to allow twitter in the district. It is also most likely saved on my school e-mail address (I’m a persistent paper-trail keeper), too.

          The ‘campaign’ was mostly opening lines of debate with relevant parties over e-mail with my request, and the ensuing discussion. Sadly, I have to report that the final word was some DO honcho saying, “This can’t be done right now until a panel is assembled to determine how,” and she did not respond to my requests about how to organize such a discussion.

          I CAN report that youtube was recently unblocked after some discussion, so that is a good sign.

          The gist of the article was that educators need to work with technology, rather than against it. Admittedly, this isn’t realistic in many underprivileged schools (my school falls in there, to a good degree.)

          She is welcome to, I guess, ‘interview’ me, but perhaps I should just get in touch with the professor who just provided the article? He is a school principal, married to a nearby district’s ‘Teacher of the Year,’ and the one who taught the tech-in-teaching course where I got the article.

          You have to come to chat to discuss this with me further (or, at the least, get my e-mail address), as no way in hell am I giving JA any more ammo.

  28. Fuck the boob tape, I can’t look away from her hair, and how the curly-q pelts clearly do not match the top portion of her head.

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