Nothing to see here, political family! Julia Allison was really trying to infer that some dude she suggestively ate marshmallows with one time was the true inspiration for Julia Allison’s column, “Social Studies,” which is distributed by Tribune Media Services.
Latest @SocialStudies column on e-cheating, inspired by Weinergate & my ex Toph, whose “other girlfriend” found out ab me through Twitter!
What did the column have to do with someone who was decidedly not Julia Allison’s boyfriend, according to. . . um. . . SAID “BOYFRIEND”? Nothing , really. The question was about Facebook relationship statuses. She just had to get an unrelated mention of this horrible injustice for absolutely no reason, because her “Social Studies” column is actually a weekly study on how Julia Allison consistently misinterprets her relationships in order to absolve herself from deserved blame.
DEAR JULIA: My boyfriend wants to keep his relationship status a secret on Facebook. He insists that it’s because he’s “a private person.” Is this a sign he’s cheating? — Freaked Out
DEAR FREAKED: Um . . . it’s not a good sign, that’s for sure. The Wall Street Journal cited a study pointing to the increase in unfaithful behavior among the younger generation, explaining that “infidelity in most instances is simply a matter of opportunity.”
What increases opportunity more than social media? You’re interacting with a wide variety of potential partners, partners who may or may not know about your relationship status (even if he doesn’t select “it’s complicated”).
I used to buy into guys who waxed poetic about “remaining private,” by hiding their relationship status and not allowing you to tag them in photos. That is, until I dated a guy who insisted on it, and four months down the line, got contacted by — yep — his other girlfriend. How had she found me? By checking my Twitter stream! Zing.
Wow! What a horrific work of staggering cuntitude! Need I remind you that Julia Allison was never actually Toph Eggers’ girlfriend? Rather she was the other woman in this situation. And really, there was absolutely no reason to be as butthurt about it as she was, even less reason now that it was two years ago, and no one else is allowed to remember shitty things Julia Allison did to people two years ago. There is a statute of limitations on cunty behavior. Dadsers says so.
I find it funny that Miss Libel! Slander! Defamation! is perpetuating potentially harmful stories to her 2 column readers and 24,000 Twitter followers, 2,248 of whom are actually people. You might remember Julia Allison misinterpreting the defamation lawsuit involving Courtney Love and some designer Courtney didn’t love. While Julia Allison, who apparently didn’t actually read the article she linked to, identified with the case because she had thought Courtney love had won, what actually happened in that situation was the designer sued Courtney for criticizing her designs to over a million Twitter followers. Given legal precedent, one would think that Julia Allison wouldn’t bully poor Toph Eggers by portraying him as a cheater to her thousands of Twitter followers. Is she really that fucked up in the head to casually soil his character two years after the fact?
And what’s hilarious is that the tweet she sent out is in response to the fact that she never reads here. Oh, no Cindy, that article wasn’t about your son! (It was.) I have no idea what you are talking about. So transparent this one. Way to throw some rando under the bus to hide the fact that you are a stupid bitch.
Oh, and if you seriously think a relationship is invalid until it is proclaimed on Facebook, I’d suggest you take an intensive class on how to be less retarded.